Jezebel 
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New York, 10:07 PM
Tue Nov 10
74 posts in the last 24 hours
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02/27/09
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02/27/09
This is a thing about meds that people often overlook - the purpose of AD meds most often is not to "cure depression" or "alleviate depression symptoms," but to help manage these symptoms so that you have a more "normal" baseline from which they can work on the root causes. Conceptually, I understood this, but until I quit drinking, I didn't know it to be true for myself. The drinking was really just the last wildcard variable in my moods and personal relationships - not the primary factor, but an unmeasurable influence, nonetheless.
As a guy, side-effects-wise, I do have a little bit of an issue w/ delayed ejaculation (not ED) sometimes, but it is manageable with a little breathing and concentration, and make a real effort not to go so long as to make my partner uncomfortable. I don't seem to have any problem forming "crushy" feelings, though I am more realistic (and aware) about what I want from relationships, which means that I do walk away from ones that I might have entertained in the past. This is a good thing for me...
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02/27/09
I still hope that I'll have amazing crushes and incredible flights of fancy and that I'll still be able to make art that I think is sad and beautiful that comes from the core of my heart.
02/27/09
Obviously you wouldn't want to date someone like that, but it can be off putting for some people. Even though they are so widely used there is still a stigma and the really ignorant ones almost act afraid of you, even if you've been on them for years and been their friend for years, it's scary to some people.
Sometimes I think it would be a lot easier to have a problem that people could actually SEE. Like, I'm late for work because I'm having side effects from drugs for a long term physical illness - not, I'm late for work because I had so many rituals to perform I literally couldn't leave the house. People don't always understand the latter.
02/27/09
"But you don't look sick!"
02/27/09
So I'm no longer crying myself to sleep over anyone. Too bad!
02/27/09
For me, it has made my romantic ability better-- less paranoia, less neediness, more fun and happy times together.
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02/27/09
I agree with you on the exercise comment too, but when depressed, I find it so hard to motivate myself to get up and move. Sometimes meds might be the right "push" toward that direction.
02/27/09
I've been on Effexor XR for a few years now.
A lot of AD medications take 3-6 weeks to "establish" themselves - meaning that the initial phase of taking on a new drug doesn't really serve as an indication of what the future holds. Obviously, there are exceptions, but with a lot of folks, the only thing they really notice in the beginning, is the side effects, which may or may not persist, once your brain chemistry evens out and your consciousness adjusts to a new "norm."
Exercise is good too, because it keeps your metabolism more consistent and puts you back in touch with both your body and mind. The routine can help with returning a feeling of "normalcy" as well.
For me, the nausea comes from having an empty stomach; I can see how some people's appetites might suffer, and how, with others, it increases - I try to eat less food, more often throughout the day and it seems to work the best for me.
As others have mentioned, abrupt discontinuation is NOT FUN, so do take care about that and don't run out or stop w/o talking to your doc. Be careful w/ alcohol, too, little or none is best.
02/27/09
Anyway, I refuse to even consider medication for myself, so it's nice that there's something that seems to even me out some, even if it's a placebo.
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Tired all the time, HUNGRY all the time (which is a total bitch, natch), but something that bothers me most is that I don't have any feelings anymore.
Except anger and deep sadness. Occasionally though. Still, it bothers me that I can't get excited about things, or truly happy, or even nervous or scared for fuck's sake. I just...don't care. Kind of makes me feel like a badass since I don't have social anxiety, but come on!
02/27/09
Or do I have the wrong media-biological-anthropologist...?
No, I was right. She was the "love types" theorist in Elle:
[jezebel.com]
02/27/09
I do not feel DULL to things. I feel joy, anger, sadness, happiness, boredom, irritation, frustration etc. I just feel them in a more normal range.
The only real affect i think is, I do not cry at movies.
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