Jezebel 
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New York, 6:23 AM
Sun Nov 8
22 posts in the last 24 hours
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10/10/09
I think people would be better served minding their fucking business.
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In my experience, telling a bunch of straight men that I'm queer has ended up with either anger (weird, scary, unthought and explosive anger) about my rejection of men, or insane ickiness via objectification and requests to make out with a girl while any number of dudes watch. Getting fetishized and objectified isn't acceptance, though. It can be just as scary as the anger, and creepier. America, or Hollywood, is not ready to accept actual lesbians unless they are totally defanged and manage to make themselves the epitome of middle-of-the-road (like Ellen, who I totally love), or unless they are cool with dudes watching them kiss a girl, and liking it.
The concept of male-male gay sex makes straight men cringe and cry out in grossed-outness. The concept of lesbian sex makes straight men get creepily voyeuristic and sexual and masturbatory. Neither is worse, and neither is better. Please don't minimize the insane amounts of violence and harassment and invisibility queer women have to deal with daily by making it seem like because Katy Perry wrote a song about kissing girls, lesbians are cool with everybody. It doesn't work like that.
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10/10/09
They are in fact fucked from a privilege standpoint because they are openly disregarding their hetronormative male privilege.
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Openly disregarding heteronormative privilege isn't the same thing as disregarding male privilege. Just like women can benefit from straight privilege by being straight, but lose it if they are queer, their status as women does not go away. (NB I'm talking about cisgendered people, because bringing in transfolk brings up a series of questions about cisprivilege and the vagaries of privileges given and taken away.)
10/12/09
I had a laugh recently when some idiot wrote about how risky the gay lifestyle is (disguising his religion-based homophobia as concern for other people's health) in a local paper and a reader pointed out that not only had his editorial ignored the existence of lesbian, his arguments basically promoted its adoption by women as a safety measure.
10/09/09
I find gay men hot ALL THE TIME, I'd wager I find gay men attractive MORE of the time than straight men.
Knowing I have no shot means nothing, I also suppose its like men with lesbians...I can always think of "what if???" or "maybe he's not ALL gay..."
Men don't seem to be turned off when they find out women aren't into them, why is it any different with women?
I guess I just subscribe to if he's hot, he's hot.
Gay, straight, Asian, white, Haitian, whatever...I don't care.
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Which is why, the day of the Pride parade is one of my favorite days of the year,.
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10/09/09
Is there really someone out there who is so closeted that they would shock us if they came out?
10/09/09
I'd be very upset by Gyllenhaal. Unless team Gyllenhaal traded us Maggie to replace Jake.
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EDIT: I'm sorry, I don't know what tiny and crazy have to do with being gay. I just sort of have this image of him as a tiny gay little insane pixie man. I'm not trying to enforce stereotypes, I swear!
10/10/09
I also read something lately about Travolta talking about coming out, but his lawyers talking him out because of this same thing.
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This culture of assuming someone's sexuality based on whether or not they wear tight pants, have "gayface," or happen to floss their teeth isn't doing anyone any favors. I worry that if most people can say, "duh," when the actor comes out, it will add legitimacy to the witch-hunt and make it easier for Hollywood to trivialize gay actors because, "he's, like, SO GAY."
Essentially, I think that Hollywood's biggest problem is with traditional gender norms, not homophobia, and the sooner we can separate those two in the public arena, the easier it will be for everyone to live the lives that they prefer, in and out of the bedroom.
10/09/09
There is also the very obvious reason that gay stars would choose to stay closeted: Hollywood is a business that advances fantasy. People see movies to escape reality; actors are integral to that endeavor. If one knows for a fact that they can never be with that person then it likely is going to lessen the chance that general audiences are going to want to continue patronizing out actors.
If the goal is to make people more comfortable with gays in general then the way to do that is to show images of gay people in a favorable light, rather then as comedic cliches or lascivious villains. Otherwise keep out of the lives of others and worry about who you are getting it on with.
10/10/09
So what happens when you're in the closet? You go to premieres alone and have to answer inane questions from Entertainment Tonight's talking heads about being a "single guy" and if you're looking for that special lady. You take your mother or sister to awards shows, not the person you're sharing your life and love with. The co-parent of your child(ren) is thanked in speeches as a friend, or without signifier at all. If you're getting the worst of the paparazzi stalking, it means having to go to all sorts of subterfuge to have someone over, or go to see someone, and if you're just starting a relationship, it's a double burden.
We've made it impossible for celebrities to separate "work" from "private life" in a lot of important ways. So saying "why does it matter" is disingenuous. We've all made it matter by supporting television shows, publications and websites (including Jezebel) that blur the work/life line to a point that it's all one. And what our quest for more information and more pictures and more chances to ogle end up representing for closeted celebs is oppression.
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10/09/09
Because right now, the only parts available are caricatures of straight sexuality. It's hard enough for a self-respecting straight person to get a decent role in Hollywood, becuase the characters they'd potentially play are one-dimensional, and because even if they WANTED to play them, almost nobody fits that mold perfectly. Nobody really is the "ultimate woman" or "ultimate man". So we have Gerard Butler and Megan Fox, the closest thing to what our society thinks straight men and women are and should be. They make us feel safe, I guess, because they are so sexually unambiguous. We are so deeply closeted as a nation that we are behaving like a 70's gay bar; we're aping exaggerated versions of icons of sexuality. We're a bunch of cowboys, cops, and marilyn monroe wannabees. An out gay person who was even attempting to play that role on a massive public scale would tear it apart and expose it for the facade that it is. If any little queer can pass as the embodiment of straight, what does that say about us?
We would have to start making movies that are about something OTHER than gender roles before a gay actor could be expected to come out. Because if they came out in the environment we're in now, it is guaranteed that they would have absolutely no job opportunities. Anyone can play any character if they are a good enough actor, but right now, actors aren't paid to play characters... they're paid to reaffirm gender identities. It would be great to see someone who is playing that game come out of the closet, since it would definitely turn the whole thing upside down, but it would require more bravery than can reasonably be expected...
The funny thing is NPH is doing exactly what I described. But it's on television... so it's easily ignored by those who don't want to see it.
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