Jezebel: profiles in courage

R.I.P. Jerri Nielsen

Sadie — Wed, 24 Jun 2009 15:30:00 EDT

Jerri Nielsen, who made headlines in 1999 for diagnosing and treating herself for breast cancer while stationed as a doctor at the South Pole, has died in Massachusetts. She was 57. [CBS]

Meet Elisabeth Hasselbeck's Mother-In-Law, Betsy: Shocker! She Believes In Jesus!

Jennifer — Thu, 08 Nov 2007 15:00:00 EST

We had heard that Elisabeth Hasselbeck wasn't an insane Republican Jesus freak before she married into the Hasselbeck clan. We were skeptical, because she seems too scary to have just picked up these habits within the past decade, but after reading the profile today's Boston Globeon EH's mother-in-law, Betsy Hasselbeck (wait, does this mean that Tim Hasselbeck's wife and mother are both named Elisabeth?) we are sure of it: The Hasselbecks are definitely running some sort of a cult. Maybe Elisabeth was actually a nice normal girl before she got involved with them! Because Betsy is scary. When her husband Don played tight end for the New England Patriots, she apparently implemented a nightly practice regime for him where he had to catch 500 passes in a row in their backyard. Miss one in the last 100? Start all over again. Just like Jesus would have done?

If there's anything more important to the family Hasselbeck than football, it is Jesus. Betsy, with a retired husband and the children off playing pro-ball, has devoted herself to running "workshops for current Pats players and their wives. The workshops focus on faith, marriage, and family" since Hasselbeck fears that without her instruction, these men and their wives might turn towards the Devil's ways: "We live in an upgrade world where temptation and fame can threaten any marriage. What we're trying to do is teach [couples] how to strengthen their marriages and commitment to God."

Betsey's faith has also propelled her towards her other project: Doing whatever she can to stop perverts from coaching youth sports. "I was lucky, because Don was our boys' coach for nine years. But I thought, OK, if I've been placed here for a reason, it's to help people. This is one way I can give something back," says Betsy, despite the fact that "breakout figures are not available for young athletes, [and only] anecdotal evidence suggests [that children] are especially vulnerable to predator coaches." Good to know that if you are placed on this earth to do some good, it's for a cause that you've pulled out of your ass!

But before you start make assumptions at Betsy Hasselbeck, be sure to know this: "We've never cared about labels," she says, in regards to identifying the specifics of their Christianity. Good to know! It's always refreshing to meet a prostelytizer who can understand that expressions of faith need no names! Elisabeth Hasselbeck sure lucked out marrying into this family the woman couldn't have asked for a better teacher on preaching her overly-simplified ways of thinking.

Extra Points [Boston Globe]

Gorgeous, Star-Fucking Hillary Clinton Aide Buys Fake Handbag, And Other Stuff 'Vogue' Left Out

Moe — Tue, 24 Jul 2007 14:52:39 EDT

"It took a certain courage for Vanessa Redgrave, Huma Abedin, Robin Brooks and Lisa Randall among our other age exemplars and serious women all to admit to the pleasure that fashion brings them," wrote Anna Wintour in the Vogue editor's letter we can't stop vomiting about. Anyway, uh, who's Huma? She's an Arabic-speaking aide to Hillary Clinton who may or may not be dating John Cusack blah blah SO PRETTY AND VAIN AND SUCH PRETTY PRETTY HAIR.

Looking through Abedin's closet, you can see the progression from a young college graduate who wore Ann Taylor suits, thrilled to land a job as an intern in the White House, to, eleven years later, a Chanel-wearing, deeply confident 32-year-old woman.

To which we were like, oh please, God, grant US the "confidence" to wear Chanel suits at 32. And then we got a surprising call from a Hillary insider, who we're paraphrasing here to protect the innocent:

Oh, please. Her father is a professor; it's not like she's some oil princess. People in DC wear Ann Taylor suits because they're poor, not because they lack "confidence." She probably makes $100,000 a year and she can't take freebies. And her Birkin bag is a fake.

Oooh, busted!

Our source admitted that Huma's special friend John Cusack, whom she "baby-sat" on a Clinton-organized celebrity trip to Saudi Arabia, could ethically buy her a Birkin bag as a Valentine's Day present. And he agreed with the story on one thing: homegirl knows how to abide by the Boy Scout motto. Says Vogue writer Rebecca Johnson:

I once saw a movie that spoofed beauty pageants by having a contestant pack a suitcase as her talent. Watching Abedin fill her suitcase for that ten-day trip, I realized the movie had it wrong. Packing is a talent, one Abedin has clearly mastered. (Note to self folding jacket on the horizontal makes much more sense.) ... Watching her pack also answers a mystery: Those bouncy waves of great-looking hair? Be prepared to carry around a professional hair dryer that weighs at least five pounds.

Now, if only we could get someone to plant a five-pound "hair dryer" in Anna Wintour's luggage, our work would be done here. (And yeah we thought of that joke because she's MUSLIM. Offended? Might I redirect your anger to the media's unattainable standards of beauty? Thanks.)

'Glamour' Editor Looks Like Shit, Sees 'Vogue' Editor On Subway

Moe — Mon, 23 Jul 2007 16:16:32 EDT

"It took a certain courage," Vogue editor-in-chief Anna Wintour writes in her August editor's letter, for such luminaries as Harvard physicist Lisa Randall and Hillary Clinton aide Huma Abedin "to admit to the pleasure that fashion brings them." Well, Glamour "Slaves To Fashion" blogger Ashley Baker for whom exemplifying that sort of courage is just another day at the office today exhibited a new brand of fearlessness: she posted this picture of herself after a rainy trip to work, adding a succulent detail:

And of COURSE there were a few fellow editors on my train, including one very illustrious one from the twelfth floor (otherwise known as Vogue).

So wait a second, Vogue editors take the subway? On rainy days? But what of their blow-outs?

We sort of wish Ms. Wintour had the courage to recognize these illustrious editors for having the courage to commute amongst the paralegals and accountants, but we have a feeling Vogue editors only ride the subway because the MTA takes credit cards and they've spent their last twenties on resort wear and coke. Hey, it happens to the best of us.

Rain, Rain, Go Away. SERIOUSLY [Glamour]