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Beatrix Campbell: "Lap Dancing Exists For Men To Buy Women"
New York, 6:09 AM
Tue Dec 1
67 posts in the last 24 hours
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Beatrix Campbell: "Lap Dancing Exists For Men To Buy Women" |
Original material is licensed under a Creative Commons License permitting non-commercial sharing with attribution.
12/08/08
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Personally, I'm far happier in my sweats and glasses and feel far sexier in a boybeater and cotton panties. I'm happy to outsource the gyrating and grinding in ridiculous shoes and butt floss to the strippers and lapdancers. The club ladies can pay their tuition/rent, he gets to revel in the attention, and rather than busting my ass in the impossible task of trying to embody his every fantasy, I get to just be the woman he loves ... and fucks. Everyone wins!
12/08/08
12/08/08
I have the same debates about freedom as I see here, but that statistical correlation has always given me pause for thought.
12/08/08
12/08/08
What amount of us are cubicle wage slaves working a specific 9-5 because they have to? The freedom of choice argument doesn't apply here either.
12/07/08
And yes, I know, lap dancing does not equal prostitution. But it does legitimize selling one's body/sexuality.
*awaits comments calling me a prude and/or comparing waiting tables or working at other unpleasant jobs as the same thing as selling sex*
12/07/08
Some people in this thread remind me of that interviewer.
12/07/08
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12/07/08
Argue that some aspects of a sexual industry can be degrading or damaging. That some people who aren't running honest businesses can take advantage or exploit their workers. But a woman who strips shouldn't be ashamed. A stripper is just an entertainer. What about the men who are throwing money at women who don't really want them? Where is their dignity or shame? Aren't they willing to do anything for a quick feeling of being sexually entertained?
12/07/08
12/07/08
What I'm saying is that these men don't actively seek to "buy" women. That is a result of their actions but not the initial goal.
I have to wonder if a woman who buys lap dances from another woman, or a man buying a lap dance from a male stripper would be seen as equally exploitative (it should, IMHO.)
12/07/08
12/07/08
When women 'buy' women, does a different standard apply? Is it still patriarchal behavior when a woman engages in activities that reinforce traditional male-female power dynamics? Just wondering.
12/07/08
I also choose to be a feminist. Strippers, by and large, are not drug addicts. Often, we are in college or have children to support, and we choose to dance because it has an effective time/money ratio. Women who have never stripped, have never chosen to work in the sex industry, and who have never questioned their own middle-class value systems ought to stop and walk a few miles in our four inch stilettos. They might end up enjoying the view.
12/07/08
It's pretty difficult.
12/07/08
It's delightful.
12/07/08
12/07/08
Are we really saying that objectification, exploitation or abuse can't occur between people of the same sex?
12/07/08
12/07/08
Are we really saying that objectification, exploitation or abuse can't occur between people of the same sex?
Of course it can but Im talking about my relationship. My bf shouldnt be threatened by a woman since I am straight but since he is I dont engage in the behavior.
12/08/08
12/07/08
(Ditto, for drugs BTW! Why is alcohol & nicotine legal, and yet other recreational drugs are not?)
Davis does have a good point, though. If the only job a woman can get that provides flexible scheduling & decent pay is stripping, did she really choose stripping? If given the choice between a job that offered the same advantages as stripping would a woman still choose to strip? Some women would, I know one that would (she works at an up-scale club where the ladies are treated like Ladies), but I'd be willing to bet plenty more who would quit if they could.
12/08/08
12/07/08
I'm inclined to agree with this woman. There is a reason why you can get paid shit tons of money for this kind of thing, and not because it's "plesaurable."
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12/07/08
In my male circle of friends these kinds of guys - the kind of dudes that sit in the front row and pay for lapdances - are major weirdos. But to us strip clubs are just another bar to hang out at
12/07/08
I would have a problem with my boyfriend going to a call girl because that breaks the sexual commitment we have made to each other.
12/07/08
This hasn't happened to me, but I know I would be devastated. I was devastated when I realized how much my boyfriend used porn, even when I was around, and that he fantasized about women he knew in real life. Some women are cool with that, but others are not. Ultimately, I think one's partner should place their significant other's feelings and mental state above their drive to use porn or to visit strip clubs.
There is one argument that I never see raised when people discuss strip clubs and female empowerment. People argue that stripping empowers women; I'm not going to argue against what a woman feels about her stripping. However, stripping does reinforce conventional beauty standards. Sex workers have to be conventionally beautiful, which makes the rest of us - who maybe don't like to wear makeup or who don't care to wear tight jeans every day or heels - unattractive to men who consume these fantasies. So, for me, a big issue about stripping is the fact that it snubs all of us unconventionally beautiful women.
12/07/08
Have you ever been inside a strip club? This is not even remotely true. I have seen women dancing that are older than my mother and have visible c sections scars! It is not at all what it looks like on TV. 99.99% of the girls are not conventionally pretty let alone beautiful. Just nice normal looking women in all shapes colors and sizes.
12/07/08
12/07/08
I applied to a couple of strip clubs when I was at university to make ends meet and I got turned down for having A cup breasts and short hair...
12/07/08
Modeling and acting have beauty standards. Sex work does not.
12/07/08
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On the other hand, what strippers and drunk guests at Bachelor Parties get up to is another thing.
12/07/08
And in terms of the zero interest in patrons I know plenty of strippers that have gone home with my male friends. Plenty. Too many to think its isolated to just MA.
I have been to lots of bachelor parties and OMG those ladies GET DOWN and then halfway through the lady offering half price blow jobs comes through. Its quite a scene!
12/07/08
12/07/08
I don't actually think my bf would enjoy it (and please, lapdances would be totally out of the question). He wasn't that close to the groom, so he didn't go. But what happens when his best friend is getting married and wants to go to a strip club for a bachelor party? I think he'll feel sort of obligated to celebrate with the groom, which I might understand but which might be very difficult for me to handle.
12/07/08
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12/08/08
Having worked in the "industry" as a domme, I know married men with kids were coming to see me did I care? No, I wanted to get PAID and wanted them to go home to their wives.
Sure there are probably strippers, dommes and porn stars that will "steal your man" but I'd guess the vast majority like to keep work and their personal life separate.
You are selling a FANTASY. Why do you think they all use fake names? Because what they are doing is not real, just designed to make men THINK it is.
Be happy your man is at a strip club not the bar down the street making out with a regular girl.