• A baby for Jay-Z and Beyoncé!?! Apparently they're working on it. [Gatecrasher]
• Lindsay Lohan was spotted in an alley behind LA's Crow Bar, talking on her cell phone and crying. And, naturally, there are pictures. [Daily Mail]

• Madonna is supposed to go to Brazil to meet Jesus' parents; people are taking this as a sign that an engagement is "in the cards." This paper points out that Madge is 51 and Jesus' mom is 36. Does that happen when Hugh Hefner dates barely legals? No. [The Sun]
• Britney Spears is "extremely upset" by a report in Australia that fans stormed out of her Circus tour because she was lipsyncing. A rep says that she is "embarrassed" to be "part of the Australian media" that has "totally inaccurate reporting" and that the article about hundreds of fans leaving is "the biggest lie." [News.com.au, Reuters]
• John Mayer on the Britney lip-sync scandal: "If you're shocked that Britney was lip-syncing at her concert and want your money back, life may continue to be hard for you." [People]
• BREAKING: Jay-Z is the new Sinatra. Adjust accordingly. [NY Tmes]
• Prince Harry and Chelsy Davy: On! They attended a rugby match together on Saturday. Last month they allegedly had "a rather grown up, intimate dinner" at someplace called Beach Blanket Babylon. [People]
• Levi Johnston and Jon Gosselin posed for pictures together in Times Square over the weekend and yet the planet did not self-destruct. [NY Daily News]
• Hmm: Jon Gosselin is going to Hawaii for the wedding of Phillies outfielder Shane Victorino. [TMZ]
• Just what your Monday needs: A chart detailing how Nicolas Coppola became Nicolas Cage. [New York]
• It certainly looks like Bruce Springsteen's concert put Glenn Close to sleep. Unless she is blinking? [TMZ]
• Cate Blanchett looks regal — and yet unreal —on the December issue of Vogue. [The Life Files]
• Iman, Donna Karan and Agyness Deyn were seen teary at a screening of Precious. [Page Six]
• Gwyneth Palrow joins Nicole Kidman in The Danish Girl, a film adaptation of the David Ebershoff novel that tells the story of a relationship between the first post-operative transsexual, Einar Wegener, and his wife, Greta. It'll be directed by Thomas Alfredson, who shot the sublime Let The Right One In. [Variety]
• Sacha Baron Cohen has created Four By Two films, a production company which will generate comedies starring Sacha Baron Cohen. [Variety]
• Oh lord. There's a film in the works called Sheneneh and Wanda — which would star Jamie Foxx and Martin Lawrence playing their famous female characters. According to this report: "The project originated as a parody of a movie trailer for a film called Skank Robbers, which Foxx and Lawrence made for the BET Awards." Uplifting! [Variety]
• You know how Randy Quaid was arrested for running out on a $10,000 hotel bill? This story, titled "Randy Quaid's Journey From Actor To Alleged Felon," tells you everything you need to know. Apparently Randy exhibited "oddball" behavior back in 2007; his wife Evi called someone a "Nazi bitch" in 2008. [People]
• At the link, six ways Jon Hamm has an impact beyond Mad Men. [NY Daily News]
• Jim Carrey's website is "trippy," and has a "fantastical, psychedelic vibe." It looks like a Dali painting but from someone who likes Canada, hockey and octopi. [NY Daily News]
• Are you interested in seeing Susan Boyle sing on Dancing With The Stars? [NY Daily News]
• Susan Boyle says she is getting back on track, but things were hectic for a while: "My life ceased to be normal when Britain's Got Talent went live… There were phone calls 24 hours a day. They kept me awake for three weeks until I changed my number. It was totally out of control, like a steamroller. It just got bigger and bigger and bigger until, eventually, it can flatten you." [MSNBC Scoop]
• In her new play, Nightingale, Lynn Redgrave takes a look at "the life of Beatrice Kempson, her maternal grandmother, a woman she barely knew and wanted to know better." [AP]
• Dennis Hopper is undergoing an experimental treatment for prostate cancer. "It has great promise," he says. "Everything's good right now." [EW]
• Whee: The Wanda Sykes Show got pretty good ratings! [Variety]
• Michael Jackson's kids helped a dog named Scooby Roo get some wheels. [TMZ]
• Reality show mini series The Jacksons: A Family Dynasty — which focuses on Jackie, Jermaine, Tito and Marlon — airs on A&E December 13. [MSNBC Scoop]
• Joe Jackson is looking for $15,000 a month from Michael Jackson's estate. [Mirror]
• "People want an answer of when we'll be back, and I think it's impossible… It's unfair to say when we'll do Fall Out Boy again. It's hard to be creative. You just feel compressed all the time. We just want to let ourselves decompress." — Pete Wentz, whose band is releasing a greatest hits CD. [ONTD via Music Radar]
• "I come from the slums, I come from a hard background, I come from a poor family, and I was a soldier. And I was a soldier in a war that was a little bit different, so I know what I am talking about, more than most people do. With this script, it was as though someone had been reading my thoughts." — Michael Caine on new "urban western" film Harry Brown. [Telegraph]
• "I'm my own worst critic, and I don't need any more negativity in my life. So I go to my Web site and see good reviews and things that make me feel good." — Carrie Underwood likes visiting her fan site. [UPI]
• "I can't think of a single romantic thing that I've ever done. I would never serenade someone to be romantic – you have to have so much balls to do that. I put a flower in someone's locker when I was 15 years old, this girl called Maria. She thought that it was someone else and the other guy claimed it as well, which is great." — Sparkle Vamp Robert Pattinson is still trying to get the Twihards off his back. Or front. Whatever. [People]
• "I get quite obsessive about things, and possessive as well. I have very, very specific ideas about how I want to do my work and how I want to be perceived, to the point of ridiculousness sometimes. I don't listen to anyone else. That's why I don't have a publicist — I can't stand it if someone's trying to tell me to do something which might be a mistake." — Robert Pattinson. [People]
• "Outside London where I lived, there was no gay pub or bar you could go to. And even if you found one, it was 'Knock three times and ask for Louis.' It was horrible living this secret life. You could feel a little bit what it was like to be a Jew in central Europe during a certain period. It was horrible." — Sir Ian McKellan. [Metro.co.uk]
• "You adore music more than anything in the world, you have a great passion. But that doesn't mean you had to marry the lead singer of every band you ever had a poster of on your bedroom wall." — Patsy Kensit — who has married Dan Donovan of Big Audio Dynamite, Jim Kerr of Simple Minds, Liam Gallagher of Oasis — in a letter to her teenage self. [Daily Express]
• "It would be interesting for people to see that side of me." — 50 Cent would like to be in a romantic comedy. [Gatecrasher]
• "Desperation. I had a sick mom. I wanted to make her feel better. I used to go in there, aged seven or so, and do impressions of praying mantises, weird things, whatever. I'd bounce off the walls and throw myself down the stairs." — Jim Carrey on the origin of his comedic instincts. [Daily Express]
• "It's not just an old person singing covers, no, thank God." — Marianne Faithfull on her new CD. [AP]
• "Every song that you hear on the album has an element of freedom in it. If it's the way that I'm singing, or the style that I'm explaining something. For me, freedom is a big deal — I think for all of us because we're all looking for our wings to fly, to not be held back, to be free to be who we are. So that's another reason why I called it The Element of Freedom." — Alicia Keys. [CNN]
• "I gained three pounds since yesterday. I weigh myself every day. Today I vowed that I was going to wear flats, and then last second, I threw on some heels. I can't wait to sit down already. It's hard carrying extra weight. I'm over the red carpet being pregnant." — Kourtney Kardashian. [NY Daily News]

[London, October 9. Image via INFDaily.]

• Russell Brand on the Kanye West incident at the VMAs:

"You don't like to see people upset. But I think it just gets exciting, live television, live events. People get worked up and things happen." [AP]

• "However rude Kanye West's intrusion may have been, it suited the controversy the VMAs openly crave." [NY Times]
• Philippe van den Bossche, the boss of Madonna's Raising Malawi charity, has quit after falling in love with Madonna's trainer, Tracy Anderson — also famous for sculpting Gwyneth Paltrow's physique. [Page Six]
• Is Oprah in trouble? This report notes: "Winfrey is still the queen of daytime television, but the aura of invincibility is gone. The average viewership for The Oprah Winfrey Show slipped under 7 million last season, down 7 percent from the year before, according to Nielsen Media Research. One week during the July rerun season, the show had its lowest ratings since its 1985 debut." [AP]
• Colin Farrell: Having another baby. He and girlfriend Alicja Bachleda are expecting their first child. Colin has a 5-year-old son James from a previous relationship with model Kim Bordenave. [Us Magazine]
• At a red carpet event, a photographer asked Colin Farrell's sister to step away to Colin could be photographed alone. Colin got mad and confronted the snapper, who says: "I was just saying, 'Please can everyone clear the carpet, move on.' He took it personal. He said, 'Do not shout at my sister like that, do not ever speak to my sister like that ever.'' [Daily Express]
• Deepak Chopra knew Michael Jackson for 20 years, and he says of Michael's death: "It was caused not by the drugs he had been taking for years — He was a very controlled addict. But by him being given a particular drug that is so powerful that I have never heard of it being used anywhere but in an operating theater with breathing tubes and a ventilator… This is something bigger and is happening all the time – and not just in Hollywood. The number one cause of drug addiction in America right now is medical prescriptions. We have to wake up to that." [Telegraph]
• Elton John would like to adopt a Ukrainian boy named Lev, but the country bans gay couples from adopting children. In addition, Elton and partner David Furnish are considered too old to be adoptive parents. But click the links to see adorable pix of the tot. [The Sun, NY Daily News]
• Ugh, some of the comments on this Elton John story are vile. [Page Six]
• Gisele Bundchen hates when her personal real estate business is in the paper. [Page Six]
• Lionel Richie says now that daughter Nicole has given birth to son Sparrow, "She is the happiest woman ever. She is just in total control. I'm the one that's nervous!" He also jokes: "Harlow right now is enjoying the baby until she finds out it's staying." And: "[Sparrow] looks just like Harlow." [People]
• John Mayer was at a bar in NYC when someone got stabbed; Mayer and other patrons were "seen fleeing." [Page Six]
• Susan Boyle's first single has been revealed: It's a cover of The Rolling Stones' "Wild Horses." [Mirror]
• Tila Tequila has apparently been mentioning Chris Brown in her Tweets; Chris Brown has responded: "NOT TRYNA BE RUDE but i keep hearing tila bringing my name up. ur 15 seconds of fame has ended. dont try to gain fans by dissing me.godbless." [TMZ]
• Mischa Barton is working on her new show The Beautiful Life, but while doing so, she has been ordered to stay away from booze, boys and bad behavior. She complained to cast members: "All I can do is smoke cigarettes." [Page Six]
• Lost is scheduled to end on Wednesday, May 19, 2010. Mark your calendars. [ONTD via LostBlog]
• Ugh. Here's a "joke" an NFL announcer made during a Detroit Lions game: "Going from two Super Bowls in Pittsburgh to the winless Detroit team — that's like going from dating Beyoncé to Whoopi Goldberg." [TMZ]
• "Russell Brand romanced model Christy Peterson for three months without seeing another girl. Then he told her to go shopping with his mum and had sex with a fan and a stripper." [News.com.au]
• "Prince Harry leaves nightclub ten minutes after Chelsy Davy... as he misses Lord Freddie Windsor's wedding." [Daily Mail]
• Interested in a Hollywood Hills 5,334 square foot 1929 Spanish-style house or a 4,062 square foot three-story contemporary Mediterranean home with a guesthouse? Ben Stiller and Christine Taylor are selling, and you only need around $12.5 million [UPI]
• Jay Leno's new show is related to NBC's decision to split football drama Friday Night Lights between DirecTV and NBC. [MSNBC Scoop]
• Dancing With The Stars' Maksim Chmerkovskiy is "still nursing a broken heart but doing okay" after his breakup with Karina Smirnoff. [People]
• Chandra Wilson has been nominated four consecutive years for her portrayal of Miranda Bailey, the no-nonsense chief resident on ABC's Grey's Anatomy, but is still looking for her first win. She says: "The thing that always impresses me whenever I go on the website each year to cast my little vote for myself, there are like 400 women there! So to even get in the top five, narrowed down from all those women, that's already amazing. I'm a huge fan of Sandra's work on this show. So the fact that we keep coming in together, I'm highly complimented by that. I also think it's a big testament to the show remaining as current as it is, six years in." [NY Times]
• Harrison Ford was honored with a tribute to his career at the 35th Deauville American Film Festival in Normandy, France, and got all choked up. Han Solo doesn't cry! [Daily Mail]
• Director Niki Caro and actress Keisha Castle-Hughes paired up in 2002's divine Whale Rider, and have reteamed for new film The Vinter's Luck. [USA Today]
• Couple alert: Chace Crawford and Bar Refaeli. [NY Daily News]
• Formula 1 driver Lewis Hamilton has dumped girlfriend Nicole Scherzinger of the Pussycat Dolls, telling her he is not ready for marriage and children. But she was quoted as saying: "My dream is to do my own music one day, to have an unbelievable tour, to have done some musical theatre and some film and maybe to have opened up a performing arts school for special needs kids. That is my ultimate dream — not marriage." [Mirror]
• Even though they broke up 22 years ago, The Smiths are gaining new fans, thanks to 500 Days Of Summer. [Independent]
• ABBA's Benny Anderson on rumors that the group will create music for a sequel to Mamma Mia!: "it's not going to happen. There will not be another, quote unquote, Abba musical." [UPI]
• "Sir Michael Caine described his latest vigilante film as a 'warning' of the way British society is heading." [Mirror]
• Kirk Douglas, 92, Is the oldest person on MySpace. He recently sent son Michael Douglas a message which read: "I've got 800 new friends, what should I do?" [Mirror]
• I Can Do Bad All By Myself opened at the top of the weekend box office with more than $24 million in ticket sales. [NY Daily News]
• Blind items! "Which has-been action hero has knocked up his comely assistant? When his longtime girlfriend learned of the impending birth, she angrily split… Which world-famous actor has fallen out with his equally A-list director? They have weeks to go on their upcoming block buster, but the actor thinks the director is arrogant and dismissive of his ideas, while the director considers his leading man to be a spoiled, over rated punk." [Page Six]
• "I'm not that motivated nor do I see that many good projects that make me want to take me away from my family. So much so, that his young children see mummy as the film star in the family. All they know was daddy makes pancakes because I did not have a movie to show them." — Michael Douglas. [Mirror]
• "It feels like we have been away for a long time. The four of us were feeling really nervous about coming back home." — Chris Martin, on Coldplay playing its first UK gig this year. [BBC News]
• "I am comfortable singing in a context like that. I am least comfortable singing karaoke, and less comfortable singing in cabarets. I really only like singing when you understand the context, so an awards show is fine." — Neil Patrick Harris on the Emmys, which he'll be hosting Sunday. [USA Today]
• "You're surrounded by cameras, you're surrounded by film crews, you're surrounded by equipment. It's, like, the most empty, unromantic experience ever." — Penn Badgley on kissing scenes on Gossip Girl. [USA Today]
• "I'm not a great actor. I don't fool myself to think that I am. Most of the work that I get is through having really good relationships with people and being dependable… We all have to put each other in check. Otherwise, people start to become delusional about who they are and what they are and what they're contributing to the world." — Ashton Kutcher. [New York Magazine]
• "Popular music has an emotional-intelligence quotient that's geared much toward younger people. It's all about [he flattens his voice to a disaffected teen monotone] 'You left me. Why did you leave me? I still love you. I tried so hard to stop loving you.' And it's like, well, I relate to that, I just don't want to think about that. When you're younger, you want to wallow in it. When you get older, you still love the person, and wonder why they don't love you. You just have other things to do." — Alec Baldwin. [New York Magazine]
• "At one of the orgies there was this bunny - there was a rabbit, who was just sitting there staring at us. We all kept saying, 'Look that bunny's still there.' And after about 45 minutes, I thought, 'Maybe he's hurt,' and I started to walk over to it and it took two hops and I was like, 'Nope, he's just a pervert.' … He was pervy Peter Rabbit!" — Michelle Forbes, aka Maryann from True Blood. [People]
• "I'm happy to be a representative for curvier women, but I don't really want to be known as 'the fat one.' I don't really mind what people want to say about me, but it's just that I have two daughters and I don't want them growing up to believe that flesh is something to be ashamed of, particularly at their age. They need to understand not to take any notice. I'm happy with my shape." — Nigella Lawson. [Telegraph]
• "It's just a working relationship. We all have our different things that we're doing. We're not friends, but we are cordial." — Sheree Whitfield, on fellow Real Housewives Of Atlanta castmates NeNe, Kim, Lisa and Kandi, whom Sheree says she doesn't really hang out with. [E!]
• "It doesn't really matter, those are Michael's kids. He raised those kids. They were in his arms when they were born." — La Toya Jackson, when asked about the biological father of Michael Jackson's children. [NY Daily News]
• "I recognized myself in that character and most of all, I recognized that I have seen the Precious girls of the world and they have been invisible to me. None of us who see the movie can walk through the world and allow the Preciouses to be invisible again." —Oprah, on the lead character in Precious, the film for which she is the co-executive producer. [AFP]
• "[Director] Karyn Kusama and I are both outspoken feminists. We wanted to subvert the classic horror model of women being terrorized. I want to write roles that service women. I want to tell stories from a female perspective. I want to create good parts for actresses where they're not just accessories to men… The friendships that I had as an adolescent had this unparalleled intensity. I wanted to show how almost horrific that devotion can be. It's almost parasitic." — Diablo Cody on Jennifer's Body. [Reuters]

• Emma Watson has arrived at Brown University… And so have the paparazzi:

That's why there are these pix of her super-casual and hanging with other students on the quad of the Rhode Island campus. [Daily Mail]

• Following reports of an assault, San Diego Chargers linebacker Shawne Merriman says he did not hurt Tila Tequila and was only trying to restrain her from leaving his home while she was drunk. Merriman's statement reads: "I was concerned about her welfare given the intoxicated state she appeared to be in and I encouraged her to stay until safe transportation could be provided." But Tila called 911 and she signed a citizen's arrest form alleging that Merriman choked and restrained her. [LA Times]
• Tila Tequila's Twitter feed has more than 243,000 followers, and following the incident, she tweeted that she was safe at home and thanked fans for their concern. But she added: "I am allergic to alcohol. It has been publicly known for years. That is how I got the name Tila 'Tequila' cuz the irony. I can't drink." Which seems to dispute Shawne Merriman's take on the incident. Later she tweeted: "I am only 93 pounds and 4'ft 11...." [CNN, TMZ]
• Shawne Merriman's lawyer says other people were in the house at the time of the incident and "witness after witness after witness will back up his story 100 percent." [CNN]
• Shawne Merriman says of his alleged assault on Tila Tequila: "We would all do our best to help a friend if we considered their actions to be detrimental to their personal safety. I'm still glad I did what I did." [NY Post]
• Lindsay Lohan is such a big True Blood fan that she posted this picture of herself wearing a studded choker and vampire fangs on her Twitter with the words "my dream." Is she trying to audition? [NY Daily News]
• Tyra Banks is talking about her decision to appear without a weave or extensions on Tomorrow's episode of her show: "I feel like it's my responsibility. I've shown myself with no makeup, cellulite on my butt, untouched photos of myself, but I haven't really shown my hair.
  "It's a mystery. People are like, 'Does she have any hair?' Young girls come up to me all the time and say, 'I want to look like you, be like you.' I want to show them what I really look like." [Digital Spy via Entertainment Tonight]
• More from Tyra: "It's just me coming straight out of the shower with wet hair. My hairdresser's going to do my hair live on stage." Tyra is also launching an online "magazine," Tyra: Beauty Inside & Out. "I'm really interested in helping women take control of their futures, take control of their destiny. One of my lines in my manifesto on the Web site is to be the CEO of your own life, be in control of your own life," she says. [AP]
• Tyra made Perez Hilton promise he wouldn't mock celebrities under the age of 18, and in return she invited him to be a guest judge on ANTM. A few days later, Perez mocked 15-year-old Tallulah Willis. [Gatecrasher]
• Lady Gaga was doing lots of coke when her dad gave her a talking to: "My father is a really powerful man, a telecom guy. So he looked at me one day and said, 'You're fuckin' up, kid.' And I looked at him and thought, 'How does he know that I'm high right now?' And he never said a word about the drugs, not one word. But he said, 'I just wanna tell you that anyone you meet while you're like this, and any friend that you make in the future while you are with this thing, you will lose.' And we never talked about it again." [Daily Mail]
• Prince Harry and Chelsy Davy: Reunited and it feels so good? [Telegraph]
• Dr. Oz is leaving Oprah Winfrey for his own talk show. Junk food is banned backstage and his show will focus on health "hot topics" like weight loss and swine flu. "There is no question we can save lives every day if we can motivate people to do what we're talking about. The challenge isn't what to say - because we know that - the challenge is how to say it so people are motivated." [AP]
• Plots near Michael Jackson's final resting place at Forest Lawn Memorial Park in Glendale have gone up $2,000 to $3,000 each; one person who owns a unit near MJ"s crypt is asking $34,000 for a double unit inside Jackson's mausoleum. Can't take it with you. [TMZ]
• Randy Jackson says that a helicopter "severely disrupted" Michael Jackson's funeral. [NY Daily News]
• Ralph Fiennes presented Vanessa Redgrave — Natasha Richardson's mother — with a lifetime achievement gong at the Harper's Bazaar magazine's Women Of The Year Awards, saying he had a "great friendship" with Richardson and calling Redgrave a woman of "truth, of loyalty, of integrity, of passion, of compassion." [Mirror]
• Singer Leona Lewis' cousin Adrian Henry, who has a previous conviction for rape, has just been sentenced to six years for robbing a "hard working family." [Daily Mail]
• Mischa Barton: Spotted outside of a gym with a bag of McDonald's, talking to someone who looked like a trainer and saying, "Do I have to?" [Gatecrasher]
• Jon Gosselin's "family day" was interrupted by an ambulance visit: His grandmother fell in his driveway. She'll be fine. (Those of us sick of Gosselin updates, on the other hand…) [E!]
• Jon Gosselin was convinced that Kate Gosselin was hiding a large sum of money in a "secret trust." His attorney gave her a deadline to reveal where the money is, and she complied: The cash is currently in a trust for the children's future. [Page Six]
• Jon Gosselin on Kate Gosselin: "I don't trust her anymore. I was abused ... I was beaten down ... I'm not going back to that life style." And! "In 10 years, I've never gone out... When she said, 'I don't want you going out,' I ... I used to say, 'OK, I'm not going to go out.' I was very passive. This is the first time I said, 'You know what? I want to see my friends. I'm going out. That was the first time in my life I ever stood up to Kate... I just felt like I had to take back some time in my life, and I did it. And I felt really good. I made my own decision... I was beaten down for so long, I couldn't even make my own decision. And when I did, I was like, holy cow! You know? Yeah, what's she gonna do? Divorce me? All right. Obviously. You know." Plus: "My mom and my brothers, they say to me, 'It's so good to have the real Jon back. It's so good to have the warm, loving, kind, caring person that we knew you when you were ... before you got married.' I've changed for her. Because I loved her ... But don't forget who you are. That's what happened to me." More from his Good Morning America interview with Chris Cuomo at the link. [Us Magazine]
• Jon Gosselin: "I can't sit on the sofa with that woman. I can't sit on someone right now that I despise." [GMA/ABC News]
• The tattoo parlor in New York where Rihanna inked a few people (her tattoo artist, BangBang, and his coworkers) has been fined for "operating with an unlicensed tattoo artist on site." [NY Daily News]
• Remember the fight between Joe Francis and Brody Jenner a couple of weeks ago? Joe was allegedly harassing former girlfriend Abbey Wilson when Brody and Jayde Nicole intervened. The latest is that afterward, Joe sent moving trucks over to Abbey's house to take her furniture away; he felt if she was going to lie about the incident, he wasn't going to let her keep anything he'd ever bought her. [TMZ]
• Joe Francis is being sued by a construction company for money owed for work on his Bel Air home. [TMZ]
• Joy Behar's new talk show debuts on HLN September 29, and the network formerly known as CNN Headline News is becoming incredibly lady-friendly. Joy's show is at 9pm, and she's followed by Jane Velez-Mitchell and Nancy Grace. [AP]
• How did Matt Damon gain 30 pounds for his role in The Informant? "I just ate everything I could see." More specifically: "I started eating like crazy and drinking dark beer. Between meals on set, I'd eat a No. 1 Value Meal at McDonald's and then Doritos on top of it. It was absolute heaven… Now I'm the Sexiest Man Alive's chunky cousin." [Daily Mail]
• Teri Hatcher is training for a triathalon. [People]
• Whoa: Sean Penn was spotted with Sports Illustrated swimsuit (and bodypaint) model Jessica White?!?! [Page Six]
• Rave reviews for Mo'Nique's performance in Precious! Forbes.com media critic Bill McCuddy says: "She doesn't steal the film — she kicks, screams and pummels it into an Oscar no-brainer." Trailer here. [Page Six]
• Taylor Momsen's band, Pretty Reckless, will play a Teen Vogue party tonight. [Page Six]
• Kourtney Kardashian's boyfriend has adjusted to her mood swings, so you can all just relax. [People]
• Unsolicited uterus update: Eric Dane put his hand on Rebecca Gayheart's belly at DJ AM's funeral, so she must be pregnant. [Page Six]
• "Paul Simon says he had nothing to do with the recent cancellation of a performance of the stage play The Sound of Silence in Sweden." [UPI]
• Samantha Burke, who is eight months pregnant with Jude Law's spawn, is "excited" with only one month to go. [The Sun]
• "Hip-hop artist and actor Ludacris' Ludacris Foundation and Nissan South gifted 20 needy people in the Atlanta area with cars Sunday, organizers said… Winners of the "Ludacares Stimulus Package" contestant drove away with used vehicles and are entitled to free gas for 30 days." [UPI]
• Actress Marley Shelton gave birth to a girl named West Flynn on Sunday. [People]
• Mohammed Ismail, father of Slumdog Millionaire child star Azharuddin Ismail, died in Mumbai on Friday; he'd been suffering from tuberculosis for over a year. Mohammed made the news earlier this year when he slapped his son for refusing to give interviews after returning from L.A. [Hndustan Times]
• Bianca Jagger lost a €200,000 platinum-and-aquamarine ring in Salzburg in August 2008; Austrian millionaire Reinhard Ringler found the ring and wanted a reward; the whole thing has turned into a mess with a three-month settlement period. [Sydney Morning Herald]
• "A jury in San Diego County, Calif., has found in favor of TV actor Tom Selleck and his family in regards to a disputed horse sale." [UPI]
• Bee Gees reunion! [UPI]
• John Lydon — aka Johnny Rotten of the Sex Pistols — is reforming his band Public Image Ltd (PiL) after a 17 year hiatus. [Reuters]
• Click if you want to read Tom Jones recount a story about Elvis with his pants down. [Telegraph]
• Whatshername and Whathisname will be officially divorced today. [Mirror]
• "It kind of feels like graduating. I'm still really good friends with all the producers and directors and everyone, so it really only feels like a graduation." — Audrina Patridge on leaving The Hills for her "spicier, edgier, older" reality show. [People]
• "My brothers and I came home one day for lunch-I was at the Hackley School… and my mother, who was being pursued by creditors, had a TripTik map in her hand. She said, ‘We're going on a vacation. We're going to visit every man I ever went out with, from the time I was in Miss Semple's finishing school, to find out if I made a mistake.' She found the first one in St. Louis and told us, 'Most divine man I ever met-he made the winning touchdown in the Harvard-Yale game. I just don't want to surprise him with all of you.' So at the restaurant my brothers and I waited in the car. Twenty minutes later, she came out and said, 'Oh, my God. He's let himself go.' Further south, she'd tell the man, 'Meet me on the corner,' and we'd drive by very slowly and she'd say, ‘Oh, no. Oh, no.'" — George Hamilton, on My One and Only, a film based on an odd road trip that he and his brothers took with their mother in 1955. [The New Yorker]
• "The commitment and devotion of my fans in the UK, otherwise known as 'my little monsters', has made for a truly memorable and successful year for myself and The Fame. I am honoured to be the songwriter and performer behind the number one and number three all-time most downloaded songs in history in the UK." — Lady Gaga. [Mirror]
• "I think that's because it's just instinctual as a woman to be the caretaker of your home. Women complain that men don't do enough, but it's your own fault. You train your man to do nothing. You can't blame someone for not knowing what his or her job should be if you don't ask for it right off the bat." — Jennifer Aniston. [MSNBC via Australian Harper's Bazaar]
• "My cocaine soundtrack was The Cure. I loved all their music, but I listened to this one song on repeat while I did bags and bags of cocaine. ‘Whatever I do/It's not enough.' Isn't that funny? At the time I didn't think there was anything wrong with me until my friends came over and said, ‘Are you doing this alone?' Um, yes. Me and my mirror." — Lady Gaga. [ONTD via Showbiz Spy]

• Jennifer Aniston is concerned that her romance with Gerard Butler will come to an end, now that the movie the two were shooting together, The Bounty, has stopped filming. Surely this means more "Lonely Jen" stories for us all. [PageSix]

• Megan Hauserman of VH1's Megan Wants A Millionaire says it's been a "very challenging time" for her after Ryan Jenkins, a potential suitor from the show, was found dead after being the prime suspect in the murder of his girlfriend, Jasmine Fiore. "I'm happy to move forward at this point," she says, "It's been a very upsetting, sad, tragic situation that nobody could have expected." [People]
• Lamar Odom says he's very happy with his new girlfriend, Khloe Kardashian: "Khloe is smart and beautiful and that is very hard to find." [USWeekly]
• Blind Item #1: "Which son of a beloved rock icon has an impostor? The lookalike goes to S&M parties, wearing the same glasses his late "father" did, and doesn't correct people when they assume he's rock royalty — but the impostor went too far by volunteering to appear as a foot-worshipping slave in a kinky video." [PageSix]
• Blind Item #2: "Which curvaceous starlet and her new Hollywood hubby were reckless at a swanky LA hotel recently? The normally private twosome were spotted snorting cocaine in front of other guests." [PageSix]
• "I could do the splits when I was nine months pregnant. I could put my leg over my head still. I used to be a ballerina." -Ashlee Simpson [USWeekly]
• Britney Spears surprised fans by singing Alanis Morrissette's "You Oughta Know" live at a concert last night without a backing track: there's video, and she's actually not too bad. [TheSun]
• "I want to take my acting as far as I can. I think one of the best things in my life is that I got to see at a young age what I wanted to be."-Rumer Willis [People]
• Uh-oh: has Victoria Beckham's decision to pose for Elle actually hurt her chances to pose for Vogue? A source says yes: "Victoria hoped to land the Vogue cover but it fell through weeks ago. She decided to pose for Elle instead and now Vogue won't consider her for at least four months." [DailyMail]
• Prince Harry and ex-girlfriend Chelsy Davy: back together. [DailyMail]
• "The industry is a beast. I struggle with the notion that you can put your best foot forward and it can all mean nothing. People tell you on a Friday that your life's gonna change by Monday. But then comes Monday and you still don't feel like you've got it." -Eric Bana[JustJared]
• Despite overwhelmingly negative reviews, All About Steve took in about 3.57 million dollars on Friday, coming in second place at the box office. [EW]
• "If you read good reviews, you become self-conscious about the bits they like, and it starts to make those bits tacky - as if you're churning them out. And if you get bad reviews, they're going to crush your ego. It's like vinegar in the wound. So there's no point in reading them."-Jude Law [NYTimes]
• "I grew up believing my sister was from the planet Neptune and had been sent down to Earth to kill me. I believed this because my sister Emily convinced me of it when I was a toddler. I think she'd seen Invasion Of The Body Snatchers and her imagination ran away with her. There's a part of me that still believes it. I have moments when I think, 'Hmm, could that be true?' Occasionally I ask my sister about it and she responds by pulling an alien face, which only confuses matters."- Zooey Deschanel on her sister, Emily Deschanel. [DailyMail]

• Grace Rwaramba, the former nanny who took care of Michael Jackson's children, says she often pumped the King of Pop's stomach:

"I had to pump his stomach many times. He always mixed so much [drugs]. There was one period that it was so bad that I didn't let the children see him. He always ate too little and mixed too much." Mallika Chopra, daughter of Michael Jackson's friend Deepak Chopra, has this to say: "Grace never pumped Michael's stomach. She has no idea how she would even do such a thing." [People]

• According to the autopsy reports, Michael Jackson weighed only 112 lbs. when he died, was almost totally bald, had needle marks on his body and had nothing but pills in his stomach. UPDATE: It's all lies. [Mirror, NY Daily News, NY Post]
• Just as you suspected: Debbie Rowe says she was artificially inseminated by an anonymous donor and Michael Jackson is not the biological father of his kids. She says: "I offered him my womb — it was a gift. It was something I did to keep him happy." UPDATE: The story at this link seems to have been taken down. Hmm. [News Of The World]
• Jackie, Jermaine and Tito Jackson visited Neverland Ranch over the weekend, walking the grounds and reminiscing. [Breitbart]
• Will there be a burial at Neverland? [NY Post]
• Michael Jackson's father, Joe Jackson, says that he doubts the upcoming concerts in London were a stress factor for Michael. [AP]
• Thomas Mesereau Jr., the lawyer who defended Michael Jackson in his child molestation trial, says that the star never fully recovered from being accused. Mesereau says he was the victim of mother-and-son con artists and "didn't really trust adults… He looked to children as the people who wouldn't hurt him." [USA Today]
• Michael Jackson's mother has chosen Michael's longtime attorney L. Londell McMillan as the lawyer to represent the family. [AP]
• Will there be a legal battle over Michael Jackson's kids and estate? [LA Times]
• The Jackson family is suspicious of Dr. Conrad Murray and the fact that he was trying to do CPR on a bed instead of the floor the day Michael Jackson died. [TMZ]
• A lawyer for Dr. Conrad Murray says his client never gave or prescribed Jackson the painkillers Demerol or OxyContin. [AP]
• The doctor also claims that when he found Michael Jackson, he wasn't breathing but had a faint pulse. [AP]
• In this video, Spike Lee, Lenny Kravitz, Clive Davis and others talk about Michael Jackson's music. [Time]
• In case you didn't see it over the weekend, here's the "special commemorative edition" of Time with Michael Jackson. [Time]
• A "secret library" of 100 Michael Jackson songs could be released soon. [Times Of London]
• "Bloodsuckers Positioning Themselves To Exploit Michael Jackson's Tragic Death." [NY Daily News]
• "What Michael Jackson Did On His Last Day." (Rehearse.) [Time]
• Michael Jackson's final, "electric" rehearsal may be released as an album. [NY Daily News]
• Janet Jackson made an emotional appearance at the BET awards last night. [AP, NY Daily News]
• Did LaToya Jackson go rummaging through Michael Jackson's house before he died, searching for hidden cash? [NY Post]
• At this link, you'll see some pictures of Michael Jackson and his kids you may not have seen before. He's been working on a song with them, according to a source. [People]
• A Michael Jackson tribute concert could happen in a few weeks. [MSNBC Scoop]
• At a Paul Smith runway show, the designer and his models came down the runway dancing to "Thriller." [WWD]
• No shit: "The death of American pop singer Michael Jackson is one of the top stories of the 21st century for mainstream and Internet media, language analysts said." [UPI]
• Um, this report claims that Michael Jackson's friend Bubbles the chimpanzee is "grieving" and could be coming out with a book: "Bubbles has led an interesting life. There's lots to say." [The Sun]
• The FAA is claiming that TV pitchman Billy Mays wasn't wearing a seat belt when he hit his head on a US Air flight yesterday before dying. [TMZ]
• Billy Mays had just signed a deal and was about to film commercials for Taco Bell. [TMZ
• Britney Spears is not dead, though a message saying so appeared on her Twitter account — it was hacked, as was Ellen DeGeneres'. People are sick. [Telegraph, AP]
• Breaking: Jennifer Aniston is "relaxed and friendly" on the set of Bounty Hunter, which she is filming with Gerard Butler. [Page Six]
• Leonardo DiCaprio removed his Nike Dunks to enter a shrine in Kyoto last week, and some tourists stole his sneakers. [Page Six]
• The maternal grandmother of Mercy James, the little girl adopted by Madonna, says the child was supposed to be an an orphanage for six years and then be with the family… She claims Mercy was never supposed to adopted. [Telegraph]
• Bromance! Justin Timberlake and Prince Harry are new besties. [Gatecrasher]
• Kanye West and Amber Rose: So on! [Gatecrasher]
• Jonathan Murray, executive producer of The Real World, says TLC should keep the cameras rolling on Jon & Kate. "They have the opportunity to explore a situation facing a lot of American families when the parents get divorced. And it sounds like Jon and Kate have come up with a unique situation where they're going to take turns being in the house with the kids… You can explore what happens when a couple breaks up and how both are working hard to keep things as normal as possible for the kids." [USA Today]
• Kendra Wilkinson married NFL player Hank Baskett on Saturday night in a "lavish" ceremony at the Playboy Mansion. Congrats! [NY Daily News]
• Brüno was on a talk show with the Prime Minister of Australia over the weekend and hijinks ensued. [News.com.au]
• Lady GaGa was a no-show at a Take That concert in Manchester, UK. [Mirror]
• Lady GaGa will miss another Take That gig as she is "unwell" and resting "on doctor's orders." [BBC News]
• Lady GaGa's tour rider at Glastonbury was "bonkers," according to this paper: She asked for soft drinks, six kinds of vitamin water, non-smelly cheese, a roast chicken, deli meats, tuna, sofas, coffee tables and mirrors in her dressing room. Is that so odd? [The Sun]
• Russell Crowe left a £600 tip on a £240 pub bill in West Wales. [Mirror]
• NYC Transit Workers talk about stars who have gone to "track school" in order to shoot scenes in the subway: Nicolas Cage ("He was a nice man"), John Travolta, Angelina Jolie ("She was really down-to-earth"). [The New Yorker]
• Bones star Emily Deschanel is supporting The Great Ape Protection Act — which will phase out some experiments on chimpanzees — and asking politicians to do the same. [UPI]
• Vanessa Minnillo was seen grinding on the dancefloor and leaving a party with Topher Grace. [RadarOnline]
• Ricky Gervais has come out against bullfighting: "What is the pleasure in seeing an animal speared to death? Bullfighting needs to stop - it's so cruel." [Times Of London]
• Prepare yourself: A No. 1 Ladies' Detective Agency cookbook, with recipes from Precious! [Telegraph]
• Amber Benson, aka Tara from Buffy, is a writer! Her new book, Death's Daughter, is about a fashionista who must travel through Hell itself to become the new Death and save her family. [NY Daily News]
• A famous photograph by Richard Avedon, depicting Nastassja Kinski and a snake, will be auctioned on Wednesday. It could be yours, if you've got £30,000! [Telegraph]
• Lookin' To Get Out — a Las Vegas comedy with a 5-year-old Angelina Jolie making her movie debut alongside Ann-Margaret — will be released on DVD tomorrow. [NY Post]
• Having trouble keeping Whitney Port's fake relationships straight? This might help. [Page Six]
• Elaine Stritch denies that she owes a writer money for helping her with a show; the writer is suing her. [UPI]
• "A blogger who wrote an internet article imagining the kidnap, rape and murder of the pop group Girls Aloud has been cleared of obscenity charges." [Telegraph]
• Blind item! "Which A-list actor has such a steamship-sized head that he needs to special-order his motorcycle helmets?" [Gatecrasher]
• "It's such a ludicrous concept, it is, that such different species as male and female can even cohabitate; it's wrong, just bloody well wrong. And yet it's what we're all raised to gravitate toward. It's a physical impossibility." — Gabrielle Anwar. [LA Times]
• "She's loving doing this music. It's a trip to watch. I have nothing to do with it, which is brilliant. She is just doing her thing, and it's really good. And everyone's chasing them to sign them. She's got great instincts. She's much smarter than I am." — Lenny Kravitz on daughter Zoe, who has a rock band called Elevator Fight. [People]

• According to this report, Jennifer Aniston is "struggling" to stay away from John Mayer:

Last week she sent him a "hand-delivered, perfumed note" before one of his concerts, and it read, "Play well, you always do." Then she moped around her mansion and sobbed giant old lonely spinster tears. [Daily Express]

• Rihanna is reportedly not nervous about testifying in court today. [E!, NY Post, NY Daily News]
• Meanwhile, Chris Brown will be working with Keri Hilson. [E!]
• Chris Brown will listen to Rihanna give a detailed description of how he struck her in the car today. And: Um, his next song may be called "Smash." [TMZ]
• Madonna's new daughter Mercy was flown to London of the weekend. [People, NY Daily News]
• "Eliza Manyoza, a banana vendor in Malawi's colonial-era capital Zomba, says she has never heard a Madonna song. She only knows the American pop icon as an "adopter" of orphaned children. 'I am told she is a nice woman who wants to help our children.'" [Breitbart]
• Anna Faris married Chris Pratt in Hawaii on Saturday. In the photograph, Pratt is wearing, tight, star-spangled flag-inspired swim trunks. [Radar Online]
• Lindsay Lohan has a new tattoo that the paparazzi can't read, even though they zoomed in on her arm as she arrived at Samantha Ronson's house in L.A. But actually, the big mystery in these photographs? LL's choice of hideous shoes. [Daily Mail]
• Lindsay Lohan's new show with Ryan Seacrest is all about giving people on the wrong track a second chance. [TMZ, NY Daily News]
• "Jon on Father's Day: 'I Don't Know' Where Kate Is." [People]
• Is Jon Gosselin moving to NYC? [NY Daily News]
• Was Perez Hilton assaulted by Will.I.Am from the Black Eyed Peas? And if so, why did Perez use Twitter as a means of alerting the cops? Wouldn't a phone be quicker? [Digital Spy, TechCrunch]
• Will.I.Am has a video response, in which he says Perez was rude to Fergie and called Will a "faggot," and then fans went crazy. [Dipdive]
• A play-by-play of Evan Rachel Wood at a trapeze lesson. [The New Yorker]
• One of the cops who is under investigation for breaking into the home of the woman acting as a surrogate for Sarah Jessica Parker originally said he was trying to sell stuff to the National Enquirer, but now he says: "I'm not exactly sure. If the National Enquirer didn't have anything to do with this, then I publicly apologize." [TMZ]
• By the by, Sarah Jessica Parker has a new car but doesn't know how to turn the lights on. [Page Six]
• If Victoria Beckham had her breast implants reduced or removed so that she could be in Vogue, it's just another testament to the power of Anna Wintour. [Daily Mail]
• Sienna Miller and Balthazar Getty: Back on? [Daily Mail]
• Is Prince William shopping for a "Malibu honeymoon pad"? [Daily Express]
• When Prince William and Kate Middleton booked a vacation house, they used the names Mr. and Mrs. Smith. [Telegraph]
• Prince Harry's been hanging out with ex Chelsy Davy. [The Sun]
• Kanye and Amber are still "very happy and affectionate." [The Sun]
• According to this report, Foxy Brown was "pampered" during her stay at Rikers Island — she got meals in her cell, makeup and unlimited TV and phone use. [NY Post]
• Joel Madden says Nicole Richie's second pregnancy is "a lot easier" than the first: "You've already been through it and it's not as intense and dramatic. We're a little more relaxed. It's actually kind of nice." [People]
• Kelly Osbourne is working on a book called Fierce: "It's about all the major things girls go through before they turn 21," she explains. "It's 16 chapters where I explain what I did and where I went wrong, and then I offer professional advice on how to do things differently." Noted. [WWD]
• Here's a Father's Day column penned by Nicole Kidman, who says: "My father, Anthony, is a very good and decent man. He's Catholic, and he has a strong set of values based on religion, but which really come down to being a good person, being tolerant of other people, and doing unto others what you would wish them to do to you." [Daily Mail]
• Rachel Bilson is so close to Hayden Christensen's family, his grandmother calls her "my future granddaughter." [Page Six]
• Dennis Quaid and his wife have agreed to a $500,000 settlement with the hospital that nearly killed his newborn twins by overdosing them with blood thinner. [USA Today]
• Cloris Leachman filmed a guest spot for Jada Pinkett Smith's new show, Hawthorne: "I was a patient. I threw a bedpan at her. It was a very emotional part. I used the bedpan to show my feelings. I made use of it. I didn't USE it. Haha." [NY Mag]
• In this column for the Daily Fail, Simon Cowell writes about Britian's Got Talent: "I didn't get into show business to make little children cry or upset a nice lady like Susan Boyle… But the question remains: should we have done things differently?" [Daily Mail]
• From an interview with Emily Blunt: "When I mention [former love Michael] Bublé's name, I am treated to a stare that is so glacial it could freeze an ant at 500 paces. Is she seeing anyone at the moment? 'Weirdly enough, I'm going to pass on that. You know, apparently I'm seeing everyone. I think someone said I was dating Anne Hathaway in a story recently.'" [Guardian]
• In this article, Betty White and The Proposal director Anne Fletcher have tea and it turns into a "gigglefest." [NY Times]
• David Duchovny and Téa Leoni: Still in love. [People]
• Oh, crap: Peaches Geldof has been studying Scientology for nine months. [Mirror]
• "It's not really an internship. I'm just there for two weeks to see how it works," she said. "I'm listening to the editors, seeing what the fashion department does, what marketing does, what the photo department does. It's all over the place. "Everything is interesting… I really like the fashion department." — Tallulah Willis on her stint at Harper's Bazaar. [NY Mag]
• Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony want Washington, D.C. to pay attention to their campaign to fight childhood obesity, especially among Latino kids. [US News & World Report]
• Kathy Hilton says she's not sad that her daughter Paris and Doug Reinhardt broke up: "Doug was riding Paris' coattails." [E!]
• Cristiano Ronaldo says of hanging out with Paris Hilton: "She was a really cool girl and we had a great time talking. I am a young man and Paris a young lady, and us talking in a club is just what normal people our age do." [The Sun]
• Matthew McConaughey and Camila Alves: Expecting baby number two. [People]
• Twilight's Ashley Greene says she is not dating Adrian Grenier — they were just attending the same surfing event. Ashley says: "It's kind of annoying sometimes because I have been linked to so many guys, but I have been single forever!" [Us Magazine]
• Behind the scenes of the new Harry Potter movie! [Guardian]
• There are three country stars in bikinis on the cover of Shape and one of them, LeAnn Rimes, talks about being accused of stalking by Ediie Cibrian's wife: ""I feel like people are looking and pointing at me…" [People]
• Congrats to Rachel Griffiths, who recently gave birth to a baby girl, her third child. [People]
• Duran Duran: Working with Mark Ronson. [The Star]
• Mark Ronson and Perez Hilton have had a falling out, and Perez admits he is "petty." [Daily Express]
• Looking for a cute anecdote about Robert Redford and Paul Newman? Click the link. [Daily Express]
• "It is exactly the same - it doesn't make a difference whether it is a woman or a man. It is about a passionate relationship, it is good, intense and quite an unusual story." — Eva Greene, on playing a boarding school teacher who seduces one of her female students in upcoming film Cracks. [Mirror]
• "People think cameras follow you 24/7. It's really not like that. We have set hours, set days, just like any scripted show." — Denise Richards, on It's Complicated. [Yahoo News via AP]
• Q: Are there any women you would get it on with? "Agyness Deyn. She's a little punk-rock Lolita. Beautiful face, beautiful shoulders. I look at her and think, 'Ooh, I'm so turned on. What's happening?'" — Katy Perry. [Times Of London]
• "I would argue that as culturally diverse as L.A. is, and it's one of the most diverse places on the planet, it is shockingly segregated. And that's why I love New York so much and, on one level, San Francisco. You step out your door and you're swept up in a sea of humanity whether you want to be or not. You can stay in your car in L.A. and avoid anyone you want to." — Benjamin Bratt. [LA Times]
• "There are enough reality-TV stars out there who clearly want attention and fame. I personally don't think they know what they're getting into, but it's a very human instinct. I never wanted to be famous. I just wanted to act. So it's very odd. Here I am doing something that's a real actor thing to do and I'm being treated like a celebrity. I was going to take this year off from being a celebrity!" — Anne Hathaway, who is doing Shakespeare in the Park. [NY Mag]
• "She is there every waking moment of my life. It's always something. Things happen to me every single day. I will be in a tiny café and suddenly a version of "Over The Rainbow" will start to play." —Lorna Luft, on her mother, Judy Garland. [Daily Express]
• "Don't get me wrong — I am thankful for a round of antibiotics or surgery when necessary but I have been helped tremendously by the practices [of acupuncture and cupping] that help the body heal itself. When implemented by a professional with experience, the benefits can work wonders." — Gwyneth Paltrow's been flinging GOOP. [Daily Express]
• "Children have always responded to me because I have that cartoon-character look. I'm over-exaggerated and my voice is small and my name is Dolly and I'm kind of like a Mother Goose character. So I think that it's going to be a fun thing." — Dolly Parton, on her children's book, I Am A Rainbow. [Time]

[Shropshire, England; June 18. Image via Bauer-Griffin]

• Looks like Lindsay Lohan's stalking paid off: Her new Twitter message says:

"Leaving London but with my favorite favorite!!!" Then she was photographed at the airport with… Samantha Ronson. And another Tweet from LL reads: "Great news to share!! Maybe .... ;)" [People, The Sun]

• Lindsay and Sam were seen holding hands while walking into the first class lounge. [Daily Mail]
• Megan Fox and Brian Austin Green are finito, which means Megan will have to get that tattoo removed. And! Megan may have hooked up with sparkle vamp Robert Pattinson, after which he blew her off. Dramz! [E!]
• Madonna may be able to adopt Mercy after all?!?! A source says: "The paperwork is being typed up now." [Mirror]
• A "friend" of Madonna's says: "She made a promise that she wouldn't give up on Mercy and, believe me, she could move mountains when she's this determined." [Telegraph]
• By the by, someone has paid more than £15,000 for that lovely Peter Howson painting of naked Madonna and thuggish-looking Guy Ritchie. [The Star]
• Claire Danes and Hugh Dancy: Definitely engaged. [Page Six]
• Hold on to your panties, here are ten life-changing words: Simon Cowell remake of Saturday Night Fever starring Zac Efron. [Telegraph]
• What is Chris Brown afraid of? He's been seen "surrounded by bodyguards" at all times lately — as many as five. [Page Six]
• Miley Cyrus had to say goodbye to her main man, Justin Gaston, because she's heading off to Georgia to film a Nicholas Sparks movie. A post on the 16-year-old's Twitter read: "'my heart is in two... and its all because of you.' a song i am starting to write :)" As for 20-year-old Justin, his Twitter says: "Haven't been this miserable in a looong time." Remember, kids: Absence makes the heart go wander! [Us Magazine]
• What a difference a day makes! Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt now claim that the reports of torture are "false and inaccurate." One thing is for sure: These people know how to get their names in the paper every damn day. [People]
• Oh, God: When the show is over, Heidi Montag will launch a dry-shampoo line. [JustJared]
• A Yankee insider bitches: "First we dealt with all the Madonna mayhem, now we're on to Kate [Hudson]. It's distracting." [MSNBC Sccop]
• Kate Hudson and A-Rod left a club separately so no one would think they'd been together. [Page Six]
• Today in "crazy cat lady" news: Susan Boyle will take her beloved kitty Pebbles with her on tour. [MSNBC Scoop]
• Ugh, if you're interested in this, it's here: David Carradine's ex-wife reveals his "shocking" sex secrets — tying himself up, drowning himself and tattoos and piercings. [Radar Online]
• Kelly Bensimon is off the hook regarding that assault case in which she allegedly hit ex-boyfriend Nicolas Stefanov in the face: the case was dismissed when Stefanov didn't show up to court. [E!]
• More Real Housewife gossip: Countess LuAnn de Lesseps was seen making out wit h a guy in his 20s; Kelly Bensimon was seen nuzzling with Gerard Butler. [Gatecrasher]
• After getting hit by scenery on stage at the Tonys, Bret Michaels suffered a fractured nose and had to have three stitches in his lip. [Gatecrasher]
• Congrats to Gossip Girl's Kelly Rutherford, who gave birth to a baby girl last night. [Radar Online]
• Olympic gymnast and Dancing With the Stars champ Shawn Johnson is mulling an offer to star in a film for kids. [E!]
• David Letterman: About to sign a deal to continue hosting the Late Show for 3 more years. [Reuters]
• On the movie Nine: "'It was an amazing experience,' says Fergie, who plays a prostitute. 'It was all about the character, not about me, so I could gain weight and not be self-conscious about it.'" [USA Today]
• Prince Harry is supposedly dating TV presenter Caroline Flack, and she supposedly calls him by the codeword "Jam," because he's got jam-coloured hair and he's sweet." [The Sun]
• Gossip and rumors from the set of the Robin Hood movie: Russell Crowe and Ridley Scott are "squabbling," ; Crowe had to go on a crash diet to lose 35 lbs because a producer said "We can't have Robin Hood looking more like Friar Tuck" ; they're totally not singing that oo-de-lally song. Boo. [Page Six]
• Catherine Zeta-Jones and Michael Douglas will leave their home on Bermuda to work on projects: He's starring in a movie about Liberace (?!?!) as well as the Wall Street sequel. [Telegraph]
• Last week, Nadya Suleman bashed Kate Gosselin; this week, she feels bad about it. "I kind of self-reflected on why I did that, and I felt really guilty," Suleman says. "I was annoyed. I was fed up. I was probably misplacing my frustration about all of this invasive media crap onto her." Or: You missed the attention. Just a thought! [MSNBC]
• Canceled NBC show My Name Is Earl might live on — with new episodes on TBS, the network which airs its repeats. [Reuters]
• Househunting in London: Sacha Baron Cohen. [The Sun]
• A hearing date has been set for Howard K. Stern — to determine if he must stand trial for illegally supplying Anna Nicole Smith with prescription drugs. Things begin in August. [Reuters]
• Twilight author Stephenie Meyer has ditched her MySpace account. "It was a lot of fun while it lasted," she wrote on her official website. "With MySpace no longer in existence, I can now clearly state that...there is no other outlet where I communicate with people online," Meyer continued. "I do not have a Facebook page, and I have never had one. I don't do Twitter. So if you're communicating with someone online that you think is me, it's not." [E!]
• Additional Twilight news: Disney star Selena Gomez and hunky native werewolf Taylor Launter: Splitsville. [UPI]
• TV chef Gordon Ramsay called Aussie TV journalist Tracy Grimshaw a pig and a lesbian; she's calling him an "arrogant narcissist." It's a mess. [News.com.au]
• Gordon Ramsay says the insults he made were "blown out of context." [Mirror]
• Kelly Clarkson says she sympathizes with Susan Boyle: "She's from a small town, I'm from a smaller town. You have to focus on the people that are really positive around you. It takes time." [The Sun]
• Liam Neeson is in talks to play Hannibal in the big-screen adaptation of A-team. Bradley Cooper might play Faceman. No word on Mr. T's involvement, but I pity the fool who thinks he can replace him. [Variety]
• Bryce Dallas Howard has written a drama called The Originals, "an ensemble film about a group of twentysomethings who reconvene for a weekend in New York after learning that the teacher who shaped their childhoods has fallen into a mysterious coma." [The Hollywood Reporter]
• The wife of baseball player Barry Bonds has filed for legal separation. [TMZ]
• Phil Spector's wife says he is being treated "worse than an animal" in jail. It's not supposed to be enjoyable… [NME]
• Uh, what? "Children as young as five were 'confused and worried' after teachers played them a recording of Elton John's 'Your Song' in an effort to explain homosexuality." [Mirror]
• A silver menorah which once belonged to Sammy Davis Jr. failed to sell for $9,000 at auction. The Candy Man can't generate cash? [NY Times]
• Blind item! "Which dreamy-eyed actor is embarrassed to admit he's hooking up with a hard-partying starlet?" [Gatecrasher]
• "They wouldn't have my character back on the show. My character was born out of the '90s. It's a different era now." — Andrew Shue won't be on the new Melrose Place. [Gatecrasher]
• "I think I'm either naive or insane to play her - maybe a little bit of both!" — Anne Hathaway on playing Judy Garland on Broadway. [Gatecrasher]
• "Kids are not to be used as weapons. Deadbeat moms that sleep all day, seeking money, attention like 2 do so. Just hurts the kids in the end. Giving birth 2 a child doesn't make u a good mom. Taking care of them, loving them, waking up with them, spending time with them does." — Travis Barker's been Twittering not-so-subtle hints about his feelings towards Shanna Moakler. [Perez]
• "She would have a plan on arrival anywhere and would be carving the best out of life and every situation and every person. She wasn't as much a passenger as I am, which made us great companions in life... because every driver needs a passenger and every passenger needs a driver. So it's a big loss in my life." — Uma Thurman on Natasha Richardson, to Harper's Bazaar UK. [Daily Express]
• "Everybody's making it like there's all this tension, you know, like I stepped away from the band and now they're jealous of me, and look, maybe there is a little bit of that. But some fights aren't really what they seem." — Gwen Stefani on reuniting with No Doubt. [Mirror]
• "It's one thing when you have an infant. But when you have this three-year-old going, 'Mommy, what's the deal?' it's harder. Kingston's whole thing is, 'I need, I need.' He is insane right now. We're just hoping for the best and that he's not going to turn out to be a freak, but we'll see." — Gwen Stefani, on being a working mom. [Mirror]
• "Gwyneth is one of the most intelligent people I know. So motivating her to do something is not the issue. Learning to dance and get that lung capacity and endurance was the hardest part for her. She (complained) about the cardio. To this day, if she at all has had filming days, she'll always do it, but it's like, 'Ugh, we have to do the cardio.'" — trainer Tracy Anderson. [USA Today]
• "I have always carried around in my mind, that he would ultimately be seen as a heroic figure. But I'm maybe kidding myself." — Michael Emerson, aka Ben Linus on Lost. [Mirror]
• "Yes, she's never played a mother and she's playing a mother of three in this movie but that didn't scare me. I knew she was up for it. I'm more proud of her performance in the film than I am proud of things in my life." — Nick Cassavetes on Cameron Diaz in My Sister's Keeper. [Daily Express]
• "Lately, I've been in meetings regarding a new script idea I have. A studio executive asked me to change the female lead to a male, because... 'women don't go to movies.' Really? When I pointed out the box office successes of Sex and The City, Mamma Mia, and Obsessed, he called them 'flukes.' He said 'don't quote me on this.' So, I'm telling everybody." — Nia Vardalos. [HuffPo]
• ''People see me and they're like, 'Oh, you're so much prettier in real life!' And I'm like, 'Well, thanks.' It's definitely narrowed the opportunities, which is a bummer because... I want a job! I didn't enter this biz because I thought I was a supermodel. I entered because I liked finding out what makes people laugh.'' — Rachel Dratch, who doesn't exactly deny the rumor that she was supposed to be on 30 Rock, but the network wanted ''hotter'' actress Jane Krakowski instead. [EW]
• It's hard to believe you're still on the D-list. "I have proof although I'm flattered at the suggestion that I could even be a C-minus. Recently, I was on tour and they delivered me a sandwich and it said Taffy Griffin. Now, I'd like to think that's maybe what they thought my stripper name was, but no. My name was on the marquee. Sold-out show. Taffy Griffin. I'm on the D-list where I belong… What is tough for me as a D-list celebrity is that kind of puts Speidi and me in the same category and that hurts. That's a bitter pill for me to swallow." — Kathy Griffin. [AP]
• "I don't have to defend myself. What can you do against something that is totally different from what you really think? It was hard to live with that, because I'm not the person described in that ridiculous story. I was not happy that this story could hurt people. But I felt sorry for those French journalists-that was the thing. I felt sorry for journalism, in general. We live in a world where there is so much information, but what I said was taken out of context. It's so common for someone who gives interviews to say that, but a cliché becomes a cliché because it's true. Some of it was funny: the part where I thought that man didn't walk on the moon? Man, please! It's so ridiculous… I talked about being fascinated by Internet conspiracies, because they are fascinating. And I asked a question like that: 'Did man walk on the moon?' Because the conspiracies are out there, not because it's a question I believed." — Marion Cotillard, on the statements she made about September 11. [BlackBook]

• Lindsay Lohan had a "meltdown" in a club in London, which involved saying:

"I feel so, like, caged. Totally caged." Then Lindsay tried to curl up in a ball on the floor. According to this report. [Mirror]

• Brad and Angie to wed??? Apparently someone sent Angelina Jolie all the press clippings about her "relationship problems," so she has decided that she and Brad should get married and put an end to the stories. A rumor about a Brangelina wedding circulates pretty much once a year, so perhaps we were overdue. [Mirror]
• BREAKING: Mariah Carey has been "stuffing her face" while making her album. "She has put on about 15 pounds, but she loves the curves," says a "source." [Page Six]
• Uh-oh: Pete Doherty was arrested in Switzerland after being found "slumped" in the bathroom of a British Airways flight with a needle. [Sunday Mail]
• The Slumdog kids danced to the movie's hit song, "Jai Ho," in a Hong Kong shopping mall on Saturday to raise money for charity. According to this report, "They sang off-key but drew an enthusiastic response." [Hindustan Times]
• Heidi and Spencer were "tortured" on I'm A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here, by being held in a dark room with only water, rice and beans. Heidi was rushed to the hospital with what was diagnosed as a gastric ulcer; she has been released. If all of this is part of the Speidi attention machine, it's certainly impressive. [TMZ]
• Spencer claims he was locked up for 3 days with no food or water; producers say it was 8-10 hours max, with food and water. [TMZ]
• This report says Heidi and Spencer were in the Lost Chamber for 14 hours. [MSNBC Scoop]
• The production company behind I'm A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here says that "All allegations of the celebrities being deprived of food and water are completely untrue." [Perez]
• Susan Boyle has signed with Ossie Kilkenny, the manager who made u2 millions. [Mirror]
• Chelsy Davy "can't wait" to see Prince Harry at a party this week. or something, This picture, in which Prince Harry's hand seems to be about to grab Prince Harry's crotch, is distracting. [Daily Mail]
• Even though Christina Ricci has called off her engagement, she and her ex-fiancé, Owen Benjamin, went to the movies Saturday night. [TMZ]
• It's hard to even understand how this is a news item, but here it is: Dancing With The Stars' Cheryl Burke has dropped some "excess" pounds and is "enjoying her new figure." [UPI]
• Brooke Shields and the National Enquirer have reached a settlement over the May incident in which two reporters checked Brooke's mom out of a nursing home to get a story. Also: The mag has agreed to make a generous donation to further research on dementia. [UPI]
• Kirsten Dunst: Returning to the Spider-Man franchise for flick number four. Will there be a Spidey wedding? [E!]
• Will Alec Baldwin, Sarah Jessica Parker, Matthew Broderick and Tommy Mottola all move into the same gorgeous NYC building? [NY Times]
• Cameron Diaz says her costars on My Sister's Keeper helped her deal with the sudden death of her father: "I was really, really fortunate to have these people to come back to." [People]
• The family of David Carradine is asking the FBI to investigate the actor's death. [Us Magazine, People]
• Want details from David Carradine's death? Click away. [TMZ]
• Kate Hudson's mom, Goldie Hawn, is allegedly worried about Kate dating Alex Rodriguez. A source says: "Kate's had a string of boyfriends since her divorce from Chris Robinson and it's always the same pattern – she falls hard and fast, then gets bored or has her heart broken. Goldie hates the idea of seeing Kate getting hurt again." [Daily Mail]
• Katie "Jordan" Price is "drinking heavily, taking sleeping pills and barely eating" since splitting with husband Peter Andre. [Telegraph]
• This report shows Katie "Jordan" Price very calmly shopping with her kids. [Daily Mail]
• Baby-wipes enthusiast Terrence Howard stopped six lanes of traffic in Beverly Hills to save the life of a baby bird. [Page Six]
• Another day, another Kylie Minogue wedding rumor. This time, her man gave her a rose, so, clearly they are getting hitched. [Daily Mail]
• Will Michael Jackson try and turn his London mansion into the new Neverland? [The Sun]
• Jake Gyllenhaal and Anne Hathaway, who were husband and wife in Brokeback Mountain, may reunite in a flick called Love and Other Drugs, an adaptation of Jamie Reidy's nonfiction book Hard Sell: The Evolution of a Viagra Salesman. [The Hollywood Reporter]
• What, what? A film adaptation of Eat, Pray, Love? With Julia Roberts and Javier Bardem? Oookay. [Variety]
• "In a PawNation poll, 70 percent of animal lovers voted Jennifer Aniston as the celeb they would trust to pet sit their furry friend." Mickey Rourke came in second. [E!]
• Patrick Dempsey has a dream, and it involves having a nice bus so he can bring his kids racing with him. [People]
• Composer Benny Andersson of ABBA has contributed one million kronor ($128,000) to the Swedish feminist initiative. [Independent Political Report]
• "She divides her time between California and Colorado, and in both places she lives 'off the grid,' with her own sources of water and power. Her homes are powered by solar panels, her toilets are compost, her cars run on leftover grease from fast-food restaurants […] She wears recycled necklaces made of boiled-down shotgun casings. She has more than 20 animals - horses, alpacas, chickens, dogs, cows - all of which are rescues…" — from a profile on Daryl Hannah. [Guardian]
• In this interview with Harry Shearer, he talks being part of Spinal Tap and The Simpsons. [LA Times]
• James Caan and Scott Caan play father and son in a new film called Mercy. [LA Times]
• Check out a portrait of Sandra Bernhard by Timothy Greenfield-Sanders (and some information about the relationship between the photographer and the comedian) here. [HuffPo]
• Ooky, spooky, kooky: Bebe Neuwirth is working on a play based on The Addams Family. Snap, snap. [Gatecrasher]
• "There is nothing more humiliating for a stutterer than to have their word or sentence finished for them. I didn't have names for these fears." — from "How I Found My Voice," an essay by Carly Simon. [The Daily Beast]
• Evan Dando of the Lemonheads is suing General Motors, saying the company copied one of his songs for an ad. Dude, have you heard? They don't have any money! You're suing the bankrupt. [AP]
• Jon Voight is suing investors who sued him. [TMZ]
• The woman who inspired the Beatles song "Lucy In The Sky With Diamonds" is seriously ill. [Newser]
• Blind item! "Which once prominent magazine writer/TV interviewer now appears in elegant homes wearing men's clothes and a fedora? Sighed one jaded observer, 'These days, becoming a lesbian is a career move.'" [Page Six]
• Blind item! "Which sexy leading man, known for his wandering eye, recently hooked up with a pouty songstress? The raven-haired rocker is a big change from his usual choice of supermodels." [Page Six]
• Blind item! "Which actor is on hiatus due to a drug relapse? He claimed he needed time off because of the heartbreak of his public split, but he's actually headed to rehab." [Page Six]
• Blind item! "Which heartthrob actor nearly cried bloody murder when he couldn't get into a private lounge?" [Gatecrasher]
• "I don't know him. I've never really seen him in interviews either. [But] yeah, he's cute. I'm a huge fan of the Twilight series." — Kelly Clarkson hearts Robert Pattinson! And she wrote a song, "Empty As I Am," inspired by the characters, which might make it on to the New Moon soundtrack. [Mirror]
• "I have people coming up to me all the time on the street and saying, 'My daughter's gay; thank you for this.' People send me e-mails like, 'My mother was going to take away my cellphone (and this and that) because I told her I was gay. She saw the movie and now she says she loves me.' It's a very powerful response. I get a lot of questions from people saying, when is it going to go to Ireland, to India…That gives me hope, that it's such a powerful story, being the truth, that it will transcend these other cultures and get Mary's message across." — Sigourney Weaver, on playing Mary Griffith, who attempted to save her gay son's soul by religious means before his suicide. [LA Times]
• "It's a mix of curiosity, fascination, respect and bewilderment. Twitter freaks me out. You have followers? It feels so obsessive and proprietary. It has great applications, and it's effective, I get it. But 'I did something, I did something else, I'm at it again.' Why? I'm still getting over YouTube, people. These breakthroughs are coming at such velocity that before you get your sea legs, there's another wave hitting you." — Mos Def. [USA Today]
• "I think she's much more raw in the third season. You see everything that's happening to her, so you see her more open and vulnerable, though she's being deceptive. You see her really desperate, which is a different side to her. I've been playing the character for so long now it comes naturally. [That allows me] to be more confident, take more risks, go bigger. In my film work, I'm scared to go too big — it's projected on the big screen and what not — but on Big Love, I feel I have a lot more freedom." — Chloe Sevigny on playing Nicolette "Nicki" Grant. [LA Times]
• "When I was a child my parents threatened to send me to a convent. I've often wondered how that would have worked out. I'd have made a terrible nun. I'm a good Catholic girl in the way that Madonna is. In the sense that I'm not that good at all. If the church is having a hard time recruiting nuns, I'd make an ideal poster girl. 'Become a nun or else end up like her!'" — Heather Graham. [Daily Mail]
• "I am who I am-a regular guy with a great job. How I'm analyzed belongs to someone else. In a few minutes, I've got a kid's game to go to, and then I'm taking our daughter to auditions. Today, that's my job." — Denzel Washington. [Reader's Digest]
• "The problem with Harry Potter is that there is so little controversy. It would be so great for the press if one of them would go off the rails and end up in rehab, but they are, actually, just really sweet guys." — Jason Isaacs, who plays Lucius Malfoy. [Telegraph]
• "The moment that changed me for ever ... was becoming a vegetarian aged 17; my whole life changed. I spent a lot of time hanging out in the woods near my house and felt a connection to the birds and trees." — Chrissie Hynde. [Independent]
• "I really wish I could play, but I don't at all." — Princess Beatrice, on polo. [Telegraph]
• "I never said (I wasn't returning). I just said that I'm not sure. It's called, um, 'negotiating.'" — Paula Abdul on whether she'll return to American Idol. [UPI]
• "When people talk about reincarnation, I always feel that if there is such a thing, this is definitely my first time, because I'm always amazed. I'm both amazed at how horrifically we can treat each other and all other living things, and also amazed at the wonder and the beauty. I'm like: 'Oh my God, look at that bird!' or 'Look at that flower!' literally every single day. I can't get over how people are putting so much energy and so many resources into going to Mars when everything we could ever dream of is on this planet, if we just take care of it. What do they have on Mars? They don't even have oxygen up there!" — Daryl Hannah. [Guardian]
• "I can never get close. My No. 1 job is always, always, always stand-up. It has to be a no-holds-barred attitude. Let me give you an example. I met Drew Barrymore a couple times. I went to a party at her house. And she said, 'You know, you should come to one of my small dinner parties, we hate the same people.' But if I'm sitting next to Courtney Love and she falls over, I can't not put it in the act. I'm responsible to my audience the way most people feel responsible to their Lord Jesus." — Kathy Griffin. [LA Times]
• "I learned that when you yell, nobody hears you. The best communicators have to live and present themselves in a peaceful manner. And that's going to be a lifelong quest of mine. I don't have a temper. I've never broken everything. I've never thrown a thing. But I have passion. If I feel passionate, you're going to know." — Rosie O'Donnell. [CBS News]
• "It depends where you are in the world. It's not brilliant here in Britain compared to, for example, Scandinavia – maternity leave and everything is different and they're much more clued in to what parents and children need. We still have quite a lot of Victorian principles hanging on, you can see it and feel it." — Emma Thompson, on Britain not being helpful to working mothers. [Daily Express]
• "I'm taking a year off. That's my birthday present to myself. I'm not going to act, write or anything like that. I'll be a mum, teach drama at my daughter's school, I'll cook meals and have fun, go out with my friends, I'll go to movies and not think about working. I'll see what bubbles up after that." — Emma Thompson. [Mirror]
• "I was insane to go on the Spice tour three months after having [my son]Beau. I wouldn't put myself through it again. At the time I was very self conscious about it all. It was awful. I remember being on stage and going numb and thinking everyone was looking at my body and that it wasn't perfect and I was next to the other girls […] Can you believe [Mel B] does 600 [sit ups a day]? That's nuts. Twenty sit ups and I'm done." — Emma Bunton, aka Baby Spice. [Mirror]
• "I'm convinced he plays for the other team. I even had my gay friends assess the situation" — Bethenny Frankel, joking about her boyfriend, Jason Hoppy. [Page Six]
• "I think what Drew and I found was a connection very similar to the connection between the characters. We adored each other; we played off each other. I can't imagine doing it with anybody else. It's two parts of a whole, really." — Jessica Lange, on Grey Gardens. [LA Times]
• "I'm an awkward kid from Long Island who had a dream about going to New York and becoming an actress. That's who I still am in my core… I fell into this phenomenon. Huge. Huge. This doesn't happen to most people. I'm lucky in that the way I look has never gotten me anything." — Edie Falco. [UPI]
• "I haven't done any exercise since October. I haven't done a thing. So who knows how I'm holding it together." — Kate Winslet. [Daily Mail]

• No plain yearbook headshot for this year's CFDA nominees: Jason Wu, Marc Jacobs, Alexander Wang, et al posed for Craig McDean while wearing their own creations. [WWD]
• Leggings impresario Lindsay Lohan is rumored to be seeking a position as Ungaro's "creative consultant." Designer Esteban Cortazar is allegedly spitting pins. [P6]

• Marc Jacobs, his intended, Lorenzo Martone, and Donna Karan all agree: Nacho Figueras, the Argentine polo champ, is totally hotter than Prince Harry. "Nacho's the sexiest man on earth. Hello," averred Martone. I suggest you look at this picture, and make up your own mind. [The Cut]
• Nicole Farhi, somewhat unsurprisingly, thought she was going to die during a knifepoint robbery outside her home when her two assailants strangled her until she lost consciousness. The trial of the brothers accused of carrying out this and 16 other robberies around London is ongoing. Farhi lost a ring and a Rolex that belonged to her father in the attack. [Telegraph]
• Diane von Furstenberg and Barry Diller have made a $10 million commitment to the High Line project, which is transforming a former elevated railway line into a landscaped mini-park. [NY Times]
• For its couture show this July, Dior is returning to its first-ever store and the site where Christian Dior launched the famous "New Look" collection in 1947. [British Vogue]
• Thakoon Panichgul has launched his slightly lower-priced line, Thakoon Addition. And by slightly, we mean dresses starting around $600. Sigh. [FWD]
• Meanwhile, Gucci has opened its Shanghai flagship store. [WWD]
• How have I only just discovered Erin O'Connor's blog? The British supermodel reports that on her last trip to New York, she overheard a woman ordering a plastic surgeon to give her lips like Erin's, on the grounds that they are "kinda thin enough to look real." Erin and old friend Karen Elson decided to re-start their netball team, and Maggie Rizer apparently has held on to pictures of the three of them in agency housing at the very start of their careers. Her trip through the Met's "Model as Muse" exhibit made her observe: "'Muse,' I thought out loud, is so passé. Surely models no longer exist to amuse as muses? The models I know are collaborators, brand makers and ball breakers!" [British Vogue]
• Izod home furnishings will soon be a thing which you can buy. For what reason, I don't know. [WWD]
• In a diversification that makes slightly more sense, Puma is getting into swimwear. [WWD]
• Ben Westwood is, at 49, slightly too old for the "enfant terrible" label his gallery would give him. (Is it fair to say that after a certain point, you're just plain terrible?) Vivienne Westwood's eldest son thought long and hard about being the child of a celebrity, and decided the best way to represent this unique set of problematic circumstances through art would be to hire fetish models to pose tied up in ropes with the names of famous parents — Bob Geldof, Paula Yates, Keith Allen — and then clumsily Photoshop images of the real progeny's faces over the models' heads. You see, the kids are literally tied up by their heritage. Groan. His show opened in London last week. [Flavour]
• Uniqlo's May same-store sales grew by a whopping 18.3%, proving that in a troubled economy, everyone likes a little cheap cashmere. [WWD]
• And the Japanese retailer is rumored to be interested in taking over Brooks Brothers' old store location at 666 Fifth Avenue. Brooks Brothers consolidated two Midtown stores, and initially Abercrombie & Fitch was to move into the Fifth Avenue space — but when neighboring Hickey Freeman closed because of parent company Hartmarx's bankruptcy, Abercrombie moved there instead. Uniqlo, Topshop, Zara, Forever21 and Century 21 are among those said to be interested in the prime location. Because even now, Fifth Avenue still means sales volume. [NY Post]
• In bankruptcy court, Hartmarx and Emerisque, the private equity firm that wants to buy the bankrupt men's clothier, renegotiated the proposed takeover bid to give more cash to chief creditor Wells Fargo. If the new plan is approved by the judge today, Hartmarx and its factory could remain in operation. [NY Times]

Prince Harry is looking aces these days.

He may never be king, but he's at ease in his royal role.

Here, the Prince greets a shy little one, who's surely the queen of hearts.

His Royal Highness is a jack of all trades!

Just one of the lucky dozens tens who got to shake hands with Henry Charles Albert David, aka Prince Henry of Wales.

[Images via Getty.]

• Chris Brown is being sued for assault and battery, but not by anyone you know:

The suit is being filed by Robert Rosen, who took a photo of Brown playing basketball at a gym in L.A. Rosen ran away when Brown's bodyguards noticed him; but fell down the stairs in his rush. Then, according to this report, one of the bodyguards "picked him up by his shorts and physically assaulted him, causing further injuries." [Radar Online]

• Chris Brown's lawyer, Mark Geragos, says: "This is a specious and frivolous lawsuit by one of the paparazzi seeking publicity and a payday. [Rosen] has done this before and lost. We will vigorously defend against this." [Radar Online, TMZ]
• Depeche Mode singer Dave Gahan has undergone surgery to remove a cancerous tumor from his bladder. Be well. [BBC News]
• RED ALERT! PRINCE HARRY ARRIVES IN NYC TOMORROW! GINGER CANDY FOR EVERYONE!!! [NY Daily News]
• Courtney Love "failed and refused to make payments" on her American Express cards, and the company's taking her to court, claiming she owes $352,059.67 in unpaid charges and fees. Ugh, they always get you on the fees! [E!]
• Hey, did you notice how Michael Lohan, who looooooves publicity, hid the fact that he was arrested in April for allegedly threatening to kill himself and his fiancée??? [MSNBC]
• Will you root for Michael Lohan in his "celebrity" boxing match against Johnny Fairplay? [TMZ]
• Director McG says the of the Christian Bale rant: "I'm to blame for the whole thing." Really? Do tell! "First and foremost it's my job to create a safe environment on the set at all times so that actors can explore any given emotion and always believe in the sanctity of the film… The fact it was leaked was inexcusable and I'm ashamed and embarrassed on behalf of Hollywood that that would happen. It's very unfortunate." He goes on to explain that he deliberately aggravated Bale so that his character would be more on edge: "I'm on the set getting in Christian's face… Now that's going to get him fired up in the spirit of creating a real life and death performance and that's never meant to get outside that arena… The truth is simply Christian's a good guy. Don't accuse him of being a bad guy because he's not. He loves his family, he has no entourage, he's an actor's actor and he operates from a place of passion. He'll be the first to admit, 'Wow, I flew off the handle,' but he was very much involved in what I was driving him to." [Telegraph]
• Lionel and Nicole Richie talked to CNN's Larry King in a joint interview which will air tonight. Larry asked Nicole if she's going to get married, and she said, "Eventually, yes… I think for both of us, we are going to do it because we want to, not because that's what you do." And! As a grandfather, Lionel is "very animated. He smiles like this all the time, and so he's nothing but fun for Harlow. She absolutely loves him." Larry asked Lionel if he wanted Nicole and Joel to get married, and Lionel said: "I want them to take their time. I'm more interested in whether they like each other and whether they're best friends. Because that means they'll be great parents forever." Wise man! [CNN]
• "'Jon & Kate Plus 8' madness: Why do viewers care about the Gosselins, anyway?" [NY Daily News]
• Kylie Minogue wedding rumors: Persistent. This paper says she's in Rome, among "engagement whispers." [Daily Mail]
• MSNBC Scoop's Courtney Hazlett says it should come as no surprise that voting blocs were part of the American Idol process; writing: "The bottom line is this: it was a group of organized [Kris] Allen fans who went to the trouble of getting AT&T to their viewing parties and Fox has a system in place to discard power votes." [MSNBC Scoop]
• After being with Def Jam for years — and being the CEO of that label — Jay-Z is close to signing a deal with Sony. [Reuters]
• Wait, this report says Jay-Z is in talks with Warner Music Group. [Gatecrasher]
• Eminem's album had the best first-week sales of 2009. Then again, it's been a crappy year for music. [Daily News]
• A journalist did something to upset or tease Susan Boyle, and she lost her temper in a hotel lobby. Details are sketchy. [Mirror]
• T.R. Knight will not be returning to Grey's Anatomy next season, according to sources; apparently he has been frustrated by his character's lack of storyline. [E!]
• Kelly Ripa's lawyers have sent cease and desist letters to some internet weight loss product which uses Ripa's face in its ads. [TMZ]
• Emily Blunt will be honored as British Artist of the Year at the 2009 BAFTA/LA Brittania Awards on Nov. 5. Her upcoming films include The Young Victoria and The Wolfman, with my übercrush Benicio Del Toro. Congrats! [The Hollywood Reporter]
• The Sydney Theater Company, run by Cate Blanchett and husband Andrew Upton, is experiencing a cash crisis. [Jill Zarin tried to get on Inside The Actors Studio, and James Lipton had to tell her it was for ACTORS. [Gatecrasher]
• If you would like to see a video of Kristin Cavallari "making an entrance" at Spencer and Heidi's wedding, by all means, click the link. Warning: it looks staged as all hell. [Perez]
• Gossip Girl's Chace Crawford may be hooking up with Sports Illustrated swimsuit model Esti Ginzburg. [Page Six]
• Chace Crawford on being in Footloose, the movie based on the musical based on the movie, which Zac Efron was supposed to star in: "I know Zac and we're actually friends. He's gotta make the best choice for his career at this point and I have to make the best for mine and luckily it worked out for both of us." Chace also says: "I don't know if the gymnastics [high bar] scene is going to make it. I've got some movement in me, but I'm not a dancer… I need to start stretching now." [EW]
• Tom Cruise has a job! He'll star in action comedy Wichita, with Cameron Diaz as a costar. The gist: Cruise will play a secret agent who pops in and out of the life of a single woman. Do you think they will make out? [Variety]
• "Barbra Streisand has finished building her dream house and started to think about her life." [AP]
• Do you care about Katie "Jordan" Price? Do you care about her ex-boyfriend, former boy band singer Dane Bowers? He was arrested on suspicion of drink driving after a car crash.[Independent]
• The Little Britain guys are going after Chris Martin and Gwyneth Paltrow; David Walliams told an interviewer that in order to sort out the "important issues" of the world he had to dress like a star from Les Miserables musical and call his first born child after a piece of fruit. [The Sun]
• Something about this picture of Kelis pregnant and in a bikini makes me smile. [Concrete Loop]
• Peter Falk's wife and daughter continue to battle over conservatorship of the 81-year-old actor, who suffers from dementia. [LA Times]
• Phil Spector's lawyers are trying to get his sentence reduced. [AP]
• Blind item! "Which Great White Way star tries to rock girls he's crushing on by sending them X-rated photos of himself?" [Gatecrasher]
• "I hope this doesn't sound narcissistic because I have a supporting part in the movie, but I can't wait to see it again. I've never been a part of a movie I've so thoroughly enjoyed." — Justin Long, on the Sam Raimi thriller Drag Me To Hell. [CBS News]
• "Most of the stuff I don't tell her about, and she doesn't want to know about. She wants me to come home safe. A lot of it, she's just shook her head at. We've made a few trips to the hospital. That's how you know I am hurt, when I come home and voluntarily go by the emergency room. I've busted a few ribs and bruised my back and cracked the bone in my elbow. I think I got a concussion. It's my job." — Jesse James, who withholds information about his show Jesse James Is A Dead Man from wife Sandra Bullock. [USA Today]
• "I was really interested in seeing what the routine is, and it's really shocking, no matter what you've done, you stole, you killed or whatever, if you're in prison, everybody gets treated the same - I kinda thought that was really shocking. When they strip away your basic human rights, there's a routine of going anywhere - one door closes, another one opens. If they have a suspicion that you have anything on you, they strip-search you. You can't do what you want to do anymore. And that to me was a lot more shocking. "They don't make a difference - like he raped 58 women and killed 10 or if you didn't pay your parking tickets and you're in prison for six months, it doesn't matter, it's the same." — Diane Kruger, who researched prison life for her new French thriller Anything For Her. [Mirror]

• Miley Cyrus was photographed wearing a bikini in the Bahamas; the 16-year-old Tweeted a joke about her "jiggling thighs," but then went off on critics who called her fat:

"Talk all you want. I have my flaws. I'm a normal girl, there's things about my body I would change but stop with calling me f*t… People that are so okay with being so hateful disgust me and need to spend last time on a gossip website and more time a. reading your bible b. reading stories/articles about what happens when cyber abuse and name calling happens. Kids hurt themselves." The sage Disney star added: "oh and ps if your thighs don't jiggle go see a doctor. thanks" [Daily Mail]

• This report claims that Mariah Carey "threw a fit" in Cannes before the premiere of Precious because the director, Lee Daniels, was late. But an eyewitness says she was "in a great mood" at the after party and Daniels says, "I was not late." Another day, another faux drama. [Gatecrasher]
• Madonna, David Banda, Jesus Luz and Lourdes went to a Kabbalah service over the weekend, but no one seems to know if Madge and Jesus had a commitment ceremony or not. One thing is for sure: Lourdes going to the synagogue Kaballah center wearing a Ghostbusters t-shirt under her white button down = awesome. [Daily Mail]
• Bradley Cooper says the rumor about he and Jennifer Aniston dating is toro caca: "My mom loves it, but unfortunately it's not true." [People]
• Now that Cameron Diaz has split from Paul Sculfor, she was seen having a lunch date with Adam Levine from Maroon 5. He's on the herpes tree, right? [Daily Mail]
• Cynthia Nixon: Engaged to longtime girlfriend Christine Marinoni. [ET]
• Naomi Campbell is dating Russian billionaire Vladislav Doronin, whom this paper calls "the man who has tamed" her. Because, you know, wimminz is craycray without a good man. Here is an actual sentence from the piece: "Perhaps it is Vladislav's relaxed manner that has calmed her down. Or maybe Naomi, 38, finds the property tycoon's massive bank balance – said to be £1.5billion – a reassuring influence. One thing's for sure…she isn't attracted by his dodgy fashion sense, judging by those swim shorts – nor his 'man boobs.'" [Mirror]
• Sandra Bullock, Ryan Reynolds and Betty White star in this hilarious Funny or Die video and frankly, Ms. White steals the show. Too bad it's basically viral marketing for The Proposal. [Funny Or Die]
• A few days ago, there was a "ruckus" at Paris Hilton's house; turns out someone prank called the heiress and told her that Tinkerbell was roadkill on Mulholland Drive. Paris freaked out; neighbors thought they heard an argument and called cops; they really want Paris out of the neighborhood. Sigh. [TMZ]
• Dustin Lance Black, who wrote Milk, is glad Miss California Carrie Prejean kept her crown: "What I think she does is help identify a population that we need to reach out to," he says. "The only way we could get through to some of these groups that vote against us on election day is by telling our stories. That process of education breaks down the stereotypes, the lies and the myths. I'm actually glad [Carrie] didn't lose her job." [Yahoo News via E!]
• Beyoncé is obsessed with Sex And The City and thinks of herself as a Carrie: "She was the person who held all the friendships together." [Mirror]
• "Amber Tamblyn and David Cross Make Out In Public." [Page Six]
• James Gray, who directed Two Lovers, says Gwyneth Paltrow asked him to inspect her breasts: "Gwyneth told me, 'I don't care about nudity, I'll give you everything you need. But I've had two children and I just don't think they look very good any more. Do me a favour, come into my trailer and I'll show them to you and if you think they look OK I'll do it.' So I marched in there and I told her they looked great." And! if you want to see one, nipple and all, click the link. [The Sun]
• Emily Blunt was supposed to be in Get Him To The Greek with Russell Brand, playing a "sex-crazed" pop star who beds Brand's character. But: "She got cold feet and pulled out. She's no prude but the stumbling block was that her character had far too many explicit love scenes." [Daily Express]
• Ricky Gervais wore pajamas to the white house. [The Sun]
• A reporter spoke to Chelsy Davy about her ex, Prince Harry, and writes this: "At a recent dinner the blonde South African, who dated Harry for four years, was asked why she had split with the Prince. She shot me a look of disdain and replied: 'Because he cheated on me.'" [Mirror]
• Is Fergie bisexual? She says: "Put it this way, I've experimented definitely, but I have never had a steady girlfriend." [The Sun]
• Farrah Fawcett's son, currently serving a jail sentence, was allowed to visit her on Friday — the same day Farrah's Story aired — to "say goodbye." [NY Daily News]
• There may be another cut of Farrah's Story in the works, emphasizing that her type of cancer is curable if caught early. [MSNBC]
• Michael Jackson has said he will not perform with Janet and the Jackson 5, but some concert promoter is still trying to make it happen, and if it doesn't, he'll sue MJ. [TMZ]
• Also, contrary to earlier reports, Michael Jackson does not have skin cancer. A spokesperson says the singer "doesn't have any diseases whatsoever." [Guardian]
• Ewan McGregor wants to get a pilot's license but frets that he won't be able to rack up flying hours: "What worries me about it is if I get the licence, what happens if I'm always going away? I don't like to fly when I'm making a movie, so I'm gonna be the most inconsistent pilot." [Daily Express]
• Amy Adams, who is engaged but "too busy" to plan a wedding, says she prepared for Night At The Museum 2 to be on IMAX screens by doing Pilates "as often as I could." [People]
• Rumer Willis guest stars tonight on Medium, alongside Angelica Huston; executive producer Glenn Gordon Caron was the one who gave Rumer's dad, Bruce Willis, his big break in Moonlighting. [AP]
• Oh, and Rumer Willis is a fan of Twitter: "It's a great place for starting a new era of people being less harsh or judgmental. You can really get to know people and everybody is just a human. Just because they have a different job doesn't make them any less a person than anybody else." [AP]
• A psychic who works as a producer on The Ghost Whisperer knew Jennifer Love Hewitt would never marry actor Ross McCall. Freaky! [Page Six]
• Katie "Jordan" Price and Peter Andre are holding "crisis talks" to try and saved their shattered marriage. Although she is in the Maldives and he is in Cyprus. [Daily Mail]
• this paper asks Kristin Scott Thomas: Have you kept in touch with Prince? I read that the song "Better With Time," on his last album, was an ode to you. She replies: "If it's true, it's fantastic. He came to see "The Seagull" [when Scott Thomas was acting on Broadway last year] and was completely wowed by it. A lot of people knew what we were doing and he just turned up. He is incredibly intelligent and talented - if he's written a song for me, it's just the most wonderful present. He's just brilliant, brilliant, brilliant at what he does. What's really great about getting older is that down the road you meet people you haven't seen for a long time and they're still doing something you really admire." Thomas's film debut was as a topless French socialite in Under The Cherry Moon. [NY Daily News]
• Mary Carey, a former patient of Dr. Drew Pinksy, has released a porn titled Celebrity Pornhab with Dr. Screw. [TMZ]
• Did you know that Catherine Zeta-Jones used to be engaged to Hollywood producer Jon Peters — the same guy who's been dishing about Barbra Streisand? [Daily Mail]
• Balthazar Getty and Sienna Miller are over, for real this time. Sienna is now "getting friendly" with Josh Hartnett. [Mirror]
• Jason Priestley and his wife rushed their 1-year-old daughter Ava from a Von's grocery store to the hospital on Saturday — no one knows what happened, but he kid is okay. When i was a kid i got my finger pinched by the wheel while sitting in the bottom of a Kroger shopping cart and the butcher wrapped it up with tape. True story. [TMZ]
• Larry King's 11th book is a memoir; the man has been married eight times to seven women. He's had a personal relationship with every president since Richard Nixon. He says: "If you're going to write an autobiography, you can't leave things out." [USA Today]
• There will be a Broadway musical based on First Wives Club. You're been warned. [Variety]
• William Hurt, Jessica Chastain and Vanessa Redgrave will appear in Ralph Fiennes' directorial debut, Coriolanus, which is a Shakespearean Roman tragedy but will be set in the current day as a political thriller. [The Hollywood Reporter]
• Tilda Swinton will star in a film (based on a novel) called We Need to Talk About Kevin. She'll play a "smart, educated New York mother who does her best to raise a son she never wanted in the first place." [The Hollywood Reporter]
• Liam Neeson and Jennifer Connelly will star in What's Wrong With Virginia, and the film will be the directorial debut of Dustin Lance Black, the Oscar-winning screenwriter of Milk. [Variety]
• Rita Wilson has sold a script; it's a comedy called Terms Of Embarrassment, and revolves around a middle-aged couple who wind up attending the same college as their son. Although she produced My Big Fat Greek Wedding and Mamma Mia!, this is her first script sale. [Variety]
• Milla Jovovich will star alongside Robert De Niro and Edward Norton in the psychological thriller Stone. [Variety]
• Slumdog Millionaire child star Ayush Mahesh Khedekar got another job! He'll co-star in a Swiss film called Shyam's Secret. [The Hollywood Reporter]
• If you want to know what kind of tunes Quentin Tarantino uses as "music to kill Nazis by" in his new flick, Inglourious Basterds, click the link. [Page Six]
• Star Trek wasn't strong enough to take the top spot at the box office two weekends in a row: Angels & Demons beat the sci-fi flick with $48 mil. [NY Daily News]
• Sadie Frost is reportedly working on a tell-all book, in which she will dish about "infamous bedhopping sessions" involving ex-hubby Jude Law, Supergrass drummer Danny Goffey and his wife Pearl Lowe (mother of Daisy). [Mirror]
• "It was the pills I was taking; they had my mood really fucked up. I was already depressed and with the drugs it just became a vicious cycle of depression. And as if my drug problem wasn't bad enough, when Proof died it was like, 'Son of a bitch, what I am going to do now?' I went through a lot when he died. It was the worst time in my life. It just gave me a real legitimate excuse, in my head at least, to use drugs. I didn't care if my drug problem got worse at that point so I took more pills. And the more I said fuck it and took more pills, the higher my tolerance got. The higher my tolerance got, the more I needed those pills in my body just to feel normal and not feel sick. It's a vicious cycle. I got over it all last year. I ended up coming out of all that shit that was cluttering my mind and as I came up out of the haze from the pills and everything, shit started to get clearer." — Eminem, whose album, Relapse, drops tomorrow. [Guardian]
• "It feels a little too self-loathing to me. When I go back and listen to it… it just feels like I'm pissing and moaning about whatever. It sounds like in my head I feel like I have all these things to piss and moan about. And maybe I did, maybe I didn't, I don't know, but to actually bring that kind of shit to the forefront like that, I just don't agree with it." — Eminem on his last album, Encore. [Guardian]
• "One of the main connections I had with my character was that journey that you go through when you're about to have a baby. I could relate to the people giving you so much information that you didn't need or want or ask for and also having some of it be completely outrageous." — Maya Rudolph, on her film, Away We Go, which also stars John Krasinski. [UPI]
• "Some girls were mean. They made fun of me because I dressed differently. Nuns ran my school, so I was suppressing this part of myself for a long time. It wasn't until later that I realized my true passions were music, art and performance... definitely shock art." — Lady GaGa. [Daily Mail]
• "I don't know if I'm fashion-obsessed. I think when I'm working, yes, but when I'm at home I usually wear the same thing every day. I have my straight-leg jeans and a pair of Christian Louboutins and a little jacket and a white shirt. I get sent about 15 designer bags a month. I can only imagine how much they cost. Even I wouldn't buy some of them." — Beyoncé. [Mirror]
• Speaking of age, you turn 49 next week. You're famously candid about aging, especially for an actress. "They did tell me to shut up a long time ago: 'You mustn't say you're 35, say you're 30.' I thought, 'This is ridiculous! Why should I?' In English and American cinema, people my age are immediately categorized into either campy, kind of clowny middle-aged women making them appear much older than they really do look or you're playing someone's grandmother. In Europe, we have this fantastic tradition of really enjoying women over 40, of that not being a taboo at all - people like Catherine Deneuve. Look at [Pedro] Almodóvar, the way he films women with such care and affection. The filmmakers here just love women who've been around a bit longer, they make those wrinkles look beautiful. In English or American films, they just want you to be old and shut up." — Kristin Scott Thomas. [NY Daily News]

• As you'll recall, Shia LaBeouf injured his hand in a car crash in July 2008. He says: "I'll never be back to 100 percent or have full recovery." And:

"I can't zipper my zipper or button my shirt without extreme pain. But I chalk it up as my own s—-. These things had to happen. This accident is what I needed in my life. I'm not in control. For the first time, I can admit that and know that. I'm a fallible individual, and the hand is like a tattoo that says MISTAKE. It's something I'll have to live with for the rest of my life." [People via Playboy]

• "When I first started the role of Wolverine, back for the first X-Men movie, I watched a lot of Mike Tyson videos in my trailer," says Hugh Jackman."The way he just goes straight in. I kept saying to the writers, 'Don't give me long, choreographed fights for the sake of it. Don't make the fights pretty.' Like Tyson, if Wolverine wants to take your . . . head off, he's going to do it." [LA Times]
• Even though Tyra Banks' stalker was found guilty, he won't go to jail: He'll "get help" for his "unhealthy obsession." [NY Daily News, NY Post]
• Madonna is not leaving her kids with Guy Ritchie while she tours this summer in Europe. She Twittered: "They go where I go." [Perez, The Star]
• Michael Jackson is afraid to fly to the UK because he's terrified of SWINE FLU. [Telegraph]
• This was in Midweek Madness, but here it is again: When Chris Brown calls her producer looking for her, Rihanna says, "Tell him I'm not here." [OK!]
• Lindsay Lohan is being painted as "desperate" and "crafty": She has arranged to be in London next month at the same time as Samantha Ronson. LL will be doing a shoot for British Vogue; Sam is headed to do a series of DJ gigs. [Daily Mail]
• This report claims that Lindsay Lohan is such a train wreck, Harry Morton, who dated her 3 years ago about bought her an engagement ring, now sorta denies it: "I didn't really date her . . . I really didn't," the Hard Rock Café heir says. "It's embarrassing being known for that. I'd like to be known for stuff I've created or things I've done. I don't want to be known for that. No way." [Page Six]
• Andy Samberg once found $5,000 extra in his bank account. He assumed it was an error. After four months, nothing happened, so he kept it. [Gatecrasher]
• Nadya Suleman, mother of octuplets, is adding to her posse of little mouths to feed: She's getting a shih tzu. [MSNBC]
• Sandra Bullock is being inducted into the Warren Easton High School hall of fame later this month. She's donated hundreds of thousands of dollars to the Louisiana school since Katrina ravaged the area in 2005. A spokesman from the school says: "Sandra did not attend Warren Easton High School, but we proudly claim her as one of our own." [Daily Express]
• Sad face: Singer Kelis, who is 7 months pregnant, has filed for divorce from her husband, the rapper Nas. [TMZ, People, NY Daily News]
• Q.You play the villain Nero in Star Trek. How would he fare against another bad guy you've played, Chopper? In a steel cage match, who wins? Eric Bana: Ohhh, goodness. Well...I'll say Chopper. [Laughs] But who knows? [EW]
• Hayden Panettiere has auditioned to be Chace Crawford's leading lady in the Footloose remake. They're both so large eyed and pretty, it's gonna be tough to focus on the singing and dancing. Oh, yeah, the movie is a full-blown musical. [E!]
• It's hard to even read this story without bursting into laughter at the picture of Robert Pattinson in his Dali moustache. And then the headline has the words "gay sex scenes." LOL. [LA Times]
• Kanye West's new book, Thank You And You're Welcome, is out now. Here is a snippet: "Love your haters. They're your biggest fans!" And: "Never complain without offering a solution! I'm often seen as complaining in situations when I lose. I see it more as an explanation of why I should have won." [Men.Style.com]
• Ousted ANTM contestant Fo (my fave!) is pissed that she was sent home: "Honestly, I don't want to sound too bitchy or catty, but I do think Celia [Ammerman] should've gone home before me, or instead of me, because I can put on a pair of six-inch heels and be tall, [but she] can't change. Age isn't something you can drastically change." [E!]
• Roman Polanski has not taken any steps to surrender next week: He's due in US court if he wants his case examined, but if he sets foot on US soil, he faces immediate arrest as a fugitive. He has not contacted the court or the LA County Sheriff's Dept. [LA Times]
• "Rebecca Romijn Lost 60 Lbs. after Twins – Without Exercise!" [People]
• Jada Pinkett returns to TV for the first time since the '90s with a TNT show HawthoRNe, in which she plays a hospital nursing director. [USA Today]
• Real Housewives gossip: Jill Zarin was "acting like a total nightmare" in a high-end boutique. [Page Six]
• Mary-Kate Olsen's boyfriend, Nate Lowman, has created a piece of art which mocks Lizze Grubman's SUV accident, an its in the MOMA. Grubman says: "I don't understand how a picture of me during a tragic time in my life can be considered art." [Page Six]
• Jim Carrey is in talks to star in The Beaver, a flick which "enters on the relationship between a man and a beaver puppet he wears on his arm, which he talks to and treats as a companion." [The Hollywood Reporter]
• Here's video of Johnny Knoxville discussing the documentary he produced, The Wild And Wonderful Whites Of West Virginia. The Whites are a family known for wreaking havoc. [NY Times]
• A newspaper in NJ is mad that Jay Leno made fun of their headlines: Page on claimed "School taxes going up" and page two's headline was "School Taxes Going Down." A spokesperson for the paper said: "Apparently Jay and the NBC folks didn't bother to read the actual stories, and instead got a great laugh out of what they thought was some kind of hilarious blunder on our part. Two different school districts. Two different tax situations. Is it really that complicated?" [Poynter]
• Miranda Kerr is not engaged to Orlando Bloom or publicly trying to get pregnant, but she was pestered by a reporter into saying that she eventually wants kids. Then she was asked about Heidi Klum's pregnancy. [E!]
• "It looks like Linda Hogan isn't the only thing her 19-year-old boyfriend is allowed to ride — a judge just blocked the Hulkster's attempt to keep the youngster from driving his cars too." You stay classy, TMZ. [TMZ]
• Farrah Fawcett's son Redmond O'Neal will enter rehab instead of going to jail. [People]
• Leonard Nimoy will receive a "special gong" at this year's Saturn Awards, given out by the Academy of Science Fiction, Fantasy and Horror Films. [Mirror]
• Trivia! Elliott Gould is the only non-Muppet actor to be in two separate Muppet movies. [BlackBook]
• Blind item! "Which closeted TV icon should be more careful about whom he dates? He has been squiring an infamous gay bartender around town, and everyone's noticing." [Gatecrasher]
• "Everybody has a little mischief in them - I do. I like to live on the edge a little bit, and other times I think I'm boring and passive like everybody else. I've been working 15 months straight, so these days I feel like all I can do is have a day at work and then go to bed." — Ryan Reynolds. [Mirror]
• "I've been very fortunate to get to know both Schreiber brothers very well." — Carla Gugino, who has done nude scenes with both Pablo and Liev Schreiber. [NY Mag]
• "If you ever catch your present girlfriend at a sex shop with her two ex-boyfriends and they're examining dildos, she's not the right one for you." — Breckin Meyer. [GQ]
• "All these random little stories become someway, somehow newsworthy, so you have to be very secretive about everything." — Robert Pattinson. [E!]
• "I think that my song selections are a little more hip. I know they're more uptempo. They're funky, they're sassy, they've got attitude." — Reba McEntire, who says last year's tour with Kelly Clarkson changed her perspective. [USA Today]
• "I loved rock'n'roll but there's got to be something behind the rock'n'roll. There had to be. We found, of course, that it was the blues. And, therefore, if you really want to learn the basics, then you've got to do some homework. We all felt there was a certain gap in our education, so we all scrambled back to the 20s and 30s to figure out how Charlie Patton did this, or Robert Johnson, who, after all, was and still probably is the supremo. Blues didn't just mean doing one thing or another — there was a lot of room to manoeuvre around the blues." — Keith Richards. [Guardian]
• "It's been two years since I washed my hair." — Prince Harry. [The Sun]
• From Heidi Montag's Twitter: "im so sad to leave mexico! im ready to get out of the pig flue country though… We landed!! Now I am just praying for health!" Also, she thanks God for her "soul mate," Spencer. [People, HeidiMontag's Twitter]
• "When I was four, my dad was performing with Aretha Franklin and, even though he made sure I was backstage with the nanny, I wanted to get up there and dance so much that I ran on to the stage. I was passed around all these great artists and Aretha held on to me so tight. All I wanted to do was entertain." — Miley Cyrus. [Daily Mail]
• "It's interesting, the older I get the younger they get. When I was younger they were all 50 and 60. I'm going to stop there though. I'm heading into dangerous territory if I get any younger." — Michelle Pfeiffer, on her costars. [Daily Express]
• "I'm trying to get [two-year-old son] Kingston to listen to the No Doubt records. He didn't know the No Doubt records, so now I'm forcing him to listen to them, and I think he's going to get into it if I can get him to stop listening to Miley Cyrus. He's listening to the Disney Channel a lot. But I think [nine-month-old son] Zuma is more of a No Doubt fan than King is." — Gwen Stefani. [Mirror via MTV]

• Residents of Oyster Bay, Long Island, NY are mesmerized by the dreamy and mystical presence of Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt, who have been getting cozy in their town.

The heavenly hotties have been doing glam stuff like going to Dunkin' Donuts and Stop & Shop. Oyster Bay Town Supervisor John Venditto says: "When you talk to someone who has met them they're kind of glowing. People love saying they saw them. They feel something very special happened to them." A grocery store manager gushes: "They were so beautiful. They looked like they were airbrushed when they were walking. I went up to Brad and asked if he needed help and he said, 'No thanks.' I was looking at him but I don't really remember it — it was like a dream." [People]

• Did Beyoncé send a look-alike for a personal tour of a museum in Vienna while the singer herself went shopping?!?!?? [AFP]
• Because she hasn't been exposed enough, Heidi Montag will pose for Playboy. Except she won't show nips or vag; she'll be tastefully covered. The mag's new editor was previously at Maxim so this makes sense somehow. No, wait. None of it makes sense. The world has gone mad. [Perez]
• Madonna is holding private Kabbalah prayer sessions at her home in which the focus is on being able to adopt Mercy. Apparently 12-year-old Lourdes prays with her mom for a new sister every day. [Daily Express]
• Chris Brown, who is facing two felony charges for beating Rihanna, has reportedly worked out a plea deal with the court. He'll be back in front of the judge today, so more later, probably. [Radar Online]
• By the way, the jewelry Rihanna was wearing the night of the assault — $1.4 million dollars worth — was borrowed, and the jeweler is asking for her to hand it over. But the baubles are evidence now; Rihanna's lawyer is hoping the judge will release the jewels today. [TMZ]
• More on this in Midweek Madness, but Us is reporting that Jon from Jon & Kate Plus 8 was leaving a club at 2 am with a "mystery woman" and wasn't wearing his wedding band. They've got pictures! [Us]
• Amy Winehouse plans on living in St. Lucia. Like, settling down there. The weed must be awesome. Also, we can haz guest haus? [The Sun]
• Oh, good news: Sam Lutfi has been ordered to stay away from Britney Spears for three years. [Reuters]
• In case you haven't already seen it, here's a video of Julia Roberts and her filthy mouth. She really likes the word "fuck." [Pop Eater]
• Dita von Teese has a new man; he's a French aristocrat 11 years her junior. Count Louis-Marie de Castelbajac, 25, is the actor-son of fashion designer Jean-Charles de Castelbajac and his ex-wife Catherine de Castelbajac. Get it, girl! [Page Six]
• Sam Ronson DJ'd a stripper party but the ladies had to keep their clothes on until she was done, or else she couldn't concentrate. [Page Six]
• Ginger alert! Prince Harry will take his first official royal trip to the United States next month. He'll hit a charity polo match in New York and a few parties. He's single and looking to mingle! [Daily Mail]
• Oprah is bored with Twitter already. Look, if you're not one of Miss O's favorite things, you are a failure. Sorry, Twitter. [Silicon Valley Insider]
• Mel Gibson and girlfriend Oksana Grigorieva, the singer signed to his record label, went to the screening of Wolverine last night. His rep says: "Mel has been single for almost three years and it's nice to see him getting out and enjoying himself." Uh, what? His wife filed for divorce two weeks ago. [People]
• Start hyperventilating: Christian Bale has signed on for a third Batman flick. Hey, can we get a kick-ass leading lady this time or what? [Wired]
• Kate Winslet says she's not middle class. She is working class. "People don't believe that. People literally think I'm lying. Because I speak nice. My dad was very much a struggling actor and spent more of his life as a postman, as a member of a tarmac firm, as a van driver. He'd sell Christmas trees. Anything. That was my dad. […] Honestly, it was hand-me-down shoes and 10p pocket money on a Saturday that didn't go up until I was 11." [Telegraph via Marie Claire]
• LOL: Catherine Zeta-Jones wants to play Susan Boyle in a film of the singer's life. [Telegraph]
• Would a Susan Boyle book sell? One publishing dude says: "She has a story, but it's a short story." [Page Six]
• Ed Westwick and Chace Crawford might be tired of living together. Cue the offers in the comments to give Chuck Bass somewhere to sleep. [Page Six]
• Speaking of Ed Westwick, aka Chuck Bass, he has a tattoo which says "I ♥ Romance" and one that says "Heartbreak Hotel." [Gatecrasher via Interview]
• Moby hurt his ankle walking into the ring of a kickboxing session. [Page Six]
• Will Benicio Del Toro, who is in my top 3, play Bret Easton Ellis on film? [Cinematical]
• Kylie Minogue hearts golf and spent £40,000 on gear. [The Sun]
• "Rubina Ali's house is flooded with sewer water, and her feet itch. She's discovered a world of creepy-crawlies in the opaque gray water: scorpions, rats and slithery creatures with lots of legs. Two months ago, the child star of the hit movie Slumdog Millionaire was worrying about what to wear to the Oscars. Now she has come home to a very different problem: How to get the fetid water out of her family's one-room shack." [Times Of India]
• Lil Wayne's track, "I Feel Like Dying," contains a copyright infringing sample from Karma-Ann Swanepoel's song, "Once," so Lil Wayne is suing the producer who created the track. [USA Today]
• An Iggy Pop insurance ad has been banned because rock stars would actually not be eligible for coverage with this particular type of insurance. [Telegraph]
• "A stalker who threatened to kill Little Britain's David Walliams was allowed to 'marry' the star in a mock ceremony in her mental ward." [The Sun]
• Perfect timing: Michael Douglas and Oliver Stone are going to make a sequel to Wall Street. Get your tissues ready, this one is gonna be sad, we think: Fox spokesperson Gregg Brilliant says of the new Gordon Gekko flick: "We need to keep the story line under wraps, but it's literally ripped from today's headlines. It's going to be very big and very cool." Madoff-style losses? Sniff. No, not the yacht! [AP]
• Farrah Fawcett's condition: Unchanged. [Breitbart]
• An ambulance driver and a former senator have pleaded not guilty to charges that they tried to extort millions from John Travolta after his son died. [USA Today]
• Poor Ed McMahon. It's always something. Now he is suing Cedars-Sinai Medical Center in L.A. for allegedly misdiagnosing a broken neck. [TMZ]
• Blind item! "Which A-list actor's wife belongs to a secret lesbians-only club in L.A.? To keep things discreet, the club staggers arrivals so its members aren't photographed together." [Gatecrasher]
• "Writers have always been interested in my parents and in my teenage years, which I find so weird, especially now that I'm in my late thirties. That's always made me feel infantilized, like they are talking to me as if I were still 10 years old. I'm made to feel as if I were Annie in the musical." — Rachel Weisz. [BlackBook]
• "[Carrie Prejean's] 'opposite sex' marriage thing made me laugh. I've never heard it expressed that way. She said, 'In America, you have the choice between same sex marriage and opposite sex marriage,' like it was a flavor at Baskin-Robbins. You can have rocky road or mint chocolate chip." — Rosie O'Donnell. [Gatecrasher]
• "I don't think I wanna go back anymore. Seriously, I watched some old tapes recently — Harry [Hamlin, her husband] and I were going through stuff. It doesn't feel right! It feels weird. I've changed my mind. You can't go back!" — Lisa Rinna, who, after vigorously campaigning to get on the new Melrose Place, has changed her mind. [Hollywood Insider]
• "Paula's frustrating, she's annoying and I can't understand half of what she's talking about - but there's incredible comfort between us. I think we're possibly secretly in love with each other." — Simon Cowell. [Mirror]
• "One of the best things about being married is having separate bathrooms. There's nothing worse than saying 'I've got to go, I've got to go,' when it's already occupied!" — Joan Collins. [Daily Express]
• "I was bullied for being chubby. Where are they now!" — Kate Winslet, who says they called her Blubber and locked her in the art cupboard when she was in school. [Daily Mail via Marie Claire]
• "I ran into Mia in Chad this January. She'd been living in the camps and villages on the border of Darfur for weeks. She is as dedicated to this cause as any activist I know. It's these kind of efforts that help keep this tragedy in the spotlight." — George Clooney, who applauds Mia Farrow's hunger strike to call attention to Darfur and Sudan. [Daily Express]
• "I am totally confident that I am an incredible artist and performer. I am extremely confident about my body, the way I dress, the way I want to look. But I have no confidence when it comes to men. Men are a disaster area for me. It's so weird because I believe I am super sexy. I believe I am incredible, but I have absolutely no luck with boyfriends." — Lady GaGa. [The Sun]

• Being on vacation with Amy Winehouse must be relentlessly entertaining:

She was apparently told she couldn't sunbathe au naturale, so she whipped off her bikini top and streaked through the resort in St. Lucia, waving her arms in the air. She told you she was trouble! [Daily Mail]

• The family of Mercy James, the Malawian child Madonna would like to adopt, are on Madonna's side. Mercy's uncle says the guy who claims to be Mercy's biological dad "didn't care about his girlfriend, Mercy's mother, when she needed him most. He didn't even come to see his baby." [The Sun]
• Madonna was overheard telling people: I can't believe I'm leaving my beautiful baby behind. It's not right. I love that baby girl. She's my little girl - she needs to be with me." A judge disagrees, your Madgesty! [MSNBC]
• Chris Brown was in court yesterday, and he pleaded not guilty to two felony counts. His next court date is a preliminary hearing on April 29. [Rolling Stone]
• Some are "surprised" that Chris Brown pleaded not guilty? Really? [MSNBC Scoop]
• Rihanna was not in court, but her lawyer was, and he said her feelings about the case are that she would be happy if "it were over quickly." [TMZ]
• The latest on Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson, according to LL: "We are taking a brief break so I can focus on myself." But, uh, she banned you from her party and changed the locks, right? [E!]
• Sam Ronson's family is hoping that Sam will not get back together with Lindsay. Ouch! [People]
• Courtney Love is about to sue a whole mess of people: She finally realized that whomever had been handling Kurt Cobain's estate lost millions of dollars. It's not her fault she didn't look into this sooner, she was high, okay? [Page Six]
• Cops in Costa Rica are investigating the security team hired by Tom Brady and Gisele Bundchen since they, you know, open fired on photographers, which doesn't seem very legal. [NY Post]
• Gisele wore Galliano, by the by. [People]
• Howard K. Stern will not cut a deal with the D.A. in the Anna Nicole Smith drug case and is expected to plead not guilty. He'll be in court today. [TMZ]
• Do what you must to prepare yourself: Britney Spears might take her Circus tour to Australia. [E!]
• Of the items being moved out of Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin's London home, the mattress is not surprising; the dinosaur, the large horse and surfboard are. Gwynnie's moving to NYC; Chris is going on tour. [Daily Mail]
• Speaking of Chris Martin, Coldplay is denying that it copied Joe Satriani's music for "Viva La Vida." [Breitbart]
• Oh dear: Scarlett Johansson has reportedly been working out with Gwyneth's trainer, Tracy Anderson. She's already lost 14 pounds and now she's off carbs. Is she prepping for Iron Man 2 or just joining the brigade of stick thin stars? [The Sun]
• Did a reporter set up a fake charity and trick Heather Mills into dishing dirt on Paul McCartney? [ABC News]
• Zac Efron's mom stuffed hi stocking with condoms last Christmas and his dad gave him some speech about protection at some point so maybe the point is you won't see Zac as a young baby daddy any day soon. [E!]
• The woman who was saved from committing suicide by Demi Moore and "the Twitter community" says "I'm eternally grateful to her for helping me." [RadarOnline]
• Why aren't people donating to Prince Harry's African charity? Donations have dropped a whopping 84%. [Telegraph]
• Jennifer Garner will star in Butter, a flick that's a political satire set in the small-town world of competitive butter-sculpting. Yeah. Butter. [The Hollywood Reporter]
• Ru-roh: Pamela Anderson's boyfriend was in a kite-surfing accident in Hawaii. Luckily, he escaped serious injury and didn't need C.J. to run into the water with a red floaty thing. [Daily Express]
• Kylie Minogue took her new man to meet her parents and they found him to be "charming and witty." Good sign. [Daily Express]
• Buddhist and friend of the Dalai Lama Richard Gere attended a "Mind and Life" conference in Dharamsala, India on Monday. [Hindustan Times]
• Dennis Rodman was thrown out of a West Hollywood hotel after "slapping and groping" female guests. He needs to learn how to ask nicely when he wants to borrow a dress. [TMZ]
• The Juvenile Diabetes Research Foundation received a gift from the estate of the late Luther Vandross; the amount of the gift was not disclosed. [UPI]
• Blind item! "Which Grammy-winning rapper can't get enough weed? She orders from a NYC delivery service non-stop, then tries to sweet-talk the courier into giving her free bags of ganja." [Gatecrasher]
• "He's certainly not the buffoon he looks like. This is the most amazing thing I found out about him. I was once staying at a hotel, and I was in the room directly under his. He is an amazing fuck — and you can quote me on this. The screams coming from the woman were some of the purest sounds of pleasure I'd ever heard." — Rupert Everett on Vanity Fair editor Graydon Carter. [Page Six via The Daily Beast]
• "Casey grew up in one of the richest families in New York, and she grew up without any responsibilities or any boundaries. And so, for her, it was very important to do something where there were laws and where your morals counted. I was very much into the idea of doing something I hadn't done before. This is a show about cops. Our show is very grounded in the sense of the crappy things that happen to you are funny. That's how you deal with them and get through life." — Amber Tamblyn, on her character in new show The Unusuals. [USA Today]
• "I don't know Ethan Hawke. Ethan Hawke wanted to do some kind of superficial Rolling Stone article. And he did everything he could to make his story the greatest story ever in Rolling Stone. And it was a fictitious (expletive) lie. O.K? He didn't even call me by my name. ... He called Norah Jones, Ray Charles, everybody else by name. Willie (Nelson), Kris (Kristofferson). Why didn't he call my name? Why didn't he say Toby Keith walked through and said this (expletive)? Right? You know why. You know why. You know as good as anybody why. He didn't want to (expletive) deal with the aftermath." — Toby Keith. [Yahoo News via AP]
• "The pilot script showed up, and I stalked [producer Alan Ball] until he said yes. The morning I showed up for work after going blonde, everyone was very relieved." — Anna Paquin on playing Sookie Stackhouse in True Blood. [Vanity Fair]
• "We were on the set, and the two firefighters that work here, I overheard them talking about, 'Yeah, you know, if I'd known I could measure from the pubic bone… And they were talking about a cock-measuring contest.' And I go, 'That's going in the show.'" — Denis Leary on Rescue Me. [The Daily Beast]
• "I'm crying for two and a half hours straight. And then you leave the stage door and people are like, 'Can we take your picture?' And I'm thinking, 'I've never looked worse.' I need a lot of eye cream." — Lauren Ambrose, on her role in the play Exit The King. [WWD]
• "Combs have been on the scene ever since humans had hair on his head. which is quite sometime? The date perhaps goes beyond the time of the old stone age. Man being man and not a lion would
  not be content to let his mane run wild and free. So he had to find some ways to tame it. First on the list of combing operations must have been the use of fingers. So in a way the fingers are the first combs of history. Today, combs are universal and no corner of the globe is without it." — Your friend Kanye West. [Jossip]

• Barbara Walters may retire when her contract at ABC runs out this year. But who will put Elisabeth Hasselbeck in her place?! (Oh right, Whoopi.) [Perez Hilton]

• Oh, God. According to The National Enquirer Nadya Suleman told a friend, "when I was 19, I went to a gentleman's club and performed as a topless dancer. But I only did it one night. I quit when I found out I was expected to perform lap dances on the customers." [The Superficial]
• Nadya Suleman spent $1,500 on clothes for herself, unless Bebe Sport has released a line of baby clothes. [TMZ]
• An unnamed family friend said Natasha Richardson's family had her organs donated after her death last week. [Yahoo]
• The Broward County State Attorney's Office has opened an investigation into Anna Nicole Smith's death even thought they've "never had an open homicide investigation." [Perez Hilton]
• Kobe Bryant and his wife Vanessa are being sued by their former housekeeper, who says Vanessa was abusive. The worst incident: The housekeeper washed a new $700 blouse by accident and Vanessa made her stick her hand in a bag of dog poop to find the tag so she could deduct the cost from her salary. [TMZ]
• Another day, another anti-Samantha Ronson rant from Michael Lohan. He told a radio station he's "not going to stop until Samantha is out of her life," because she's "using [Lindsay Lohan] and just bringing her around the wrong places, let's face it, we all see it. No matter where they go in the world together or wherever Samantha drags Lindsay to a little DJ event, there's always a big blow up." [Perez Hilton]
• Michael Jackson's crystal-encrusted lone glove will be displayed at the Hard Rock Cafe in Times Square this as a preview of the auction of 2,000 of his possessions next month. [The Star]
• Isaiah Washington is $100,000 behind on rent for his Los Angeles home and may be evicted. [People]
• Simon Cowell told Jay Leno he turned down a dinner invitation from President Obama. "He wanted to do eight, I was free at nine and we just didn't quite connect," said Cowell, in his usual jerky fasion. [Jossip]
• Prince Harry dyed his hair darker in an effort to throw off the paparazzi. He should try a pair of glasses, a la Clark Kent. [Jossip]
• Amy Winehouse says she won't let her husband Blake [Formerly Incarcerated] divorce her, even though they're both seeing other people. "I still love Blake and I want him to move into my new house with me - that was my plan all along," says Winehouse. "He's the male version of me and we're perfect for each other." [Yeeeah]
• Hannah Montana's Aunt Dolly, or as those of us over 13 may know her, Dolly Parton, is not gay. For years it's been rumored that her lifelong best friend Judy Ogle is actually her lover, but she's denying it again. "We're absolutely totally honest, open and comfortable with each other," says Parton. "We've been accused of being lovers. We do love each other, but we've never been like that." [Yahoo]
• A live-action movie based on the 1966 Mattel action figure Major Matt Mason is being developed. Tom Hanks will star. [Variety]
• Jon and Kate Gosselin of Plus 8 fame had dinner at Mr. Chow last night. It's almost like they wanted people to see them out on a date. [TMZ]
• Kim Kardashinan is suing Hustler Entertainment for making a porno spoof of her reality show called Keeping it Up For the KardASSians. [Yeeeah]
• We know this much is true: The band Spandau Ballet has reunited and they're going on tour. [Yahoo]
• A company is releasing three Star Trek-themed fragrances next month, "Boldly Go," "Red Shirt," and "Pon Faar" ... for the ladies. [The Star Tribune]

• Nadya Suleman was on Dr. Phil's show yesterday via telephone, talking about why she fired her baby nurses:

"Myself and my nannies felt extremely uncomfortable. I personally felt like a stranger in my own home. I felt as though every time I tried to hold the babies, feed the babies, they would be observing and they were waiting for me to make a mistake." Hmm. Probably true. [E!]

• Rihanna and Chris Brown are indeed "taking a break." "Jay-Z told Rihanna she needs to cut things out with Chris, at least in public," says an unnamed source. Yes! Good idea! [MSNBC Scoop via Us Weekly]
• Chris Brown was supposed to have a "private court meeting" Monday, but it was canceled. [E!]
• Kate Moss went to an East London tattoo parlor and got a bunch of piercings in her ear; she now has six holes in one lobe. Newsy! [Daily Mail]
• Jennifer Aniston's hoodie is out-of-control, but an effective way to keep your face out of the paper. [Daily Mail]
• What do we think about Julianne Moore playing Hillary Clinton in a new flick? She doesn't really look like HRC, but JM can pull off anything. [NY Daily News]
• Sparkly vampire down! Robert Pattinson was smacked in the head by a sign on the set of New Moon. [Socialite Life]
• This story about Bruce Willis hand-picking his new wife at a casting call ignores the fact that the woman has emotions and thoughts of her own. She didn't have to go out with him. [Page Six]
• Coco Arquette, 4, daughter of David Arquette and Courteney Cox, is considereing modeling. [Mirror]
• Jennifer Hudson is scheduled to tape her American Idol performance today; the appearance will air on an upcoming ep. [Yahoo News via AP]
• Prince Harry went to some kind of "rave for posh people" wearing pink nail polish and a black wig. While there, he chatted up his ex, Chelsy Davy. Reunited and it fees so good? [Daily Mail]
• Here's a picture of Sarah Jessica Parker's stunt double, and that stunt double's underwear. [Daily Mail]
• Cops say that three-car-crash involvng T.R. Knight was caused by T.R. Knight. [E!]
• Juicy and delicious: The feud between Antony Bourdain and Rachael Ray has been taken down to a simmer, now that Bourdain found out RR likes the New York Dolls. We writes: "I don't know whether to go out and shoot a puppy, or send Rachael a fruit basket." [Gatecrasher]
• Gloria Vanderbilt, aka Anderson Cooper's mother, has an erotic novel called Obsession. Awesome or awful? [EW]
• Freida Pinto's been cast in a Julian Schnabel film; she's also shooting a Woody Allen flick in the summer. [Page Six]
• Cameron Diaz has been cast in Swingles, a romcom with "a 21st century When Harry Met Sally vibe." Here's a guess: She'll be goofy and giggly, and dance. [Hollywood Reporter]
• U2's massive new stage setup is something called "The Claw." It looks like an alien invasion, but it's supposed to bring the band closer to the crowd. [Rolling Stone]
• Flight Of The Conchords: The Movie? Maybe! [Mirror]
• Veronica Mars movie? Nope. [NY Mag]
• Josh Schwartz, the dude behind Gossip Girl, Chuck and The OC, has a new web series called Rockville CA: Two hipsters spend their nights at an LA rock club; each ep features performances by up and coming bands. [USA Today]
• Denise Richards got the boot on Dancing With The Stars. [Yahoo News via AP]
• Josh Groban's rep wants you to know that Josh and Katy Perry are friends but not, repeat, NOT a couple. [People]
• Star Jones has a new blog, in case you're dying to know about the scar on her chest or her thyroid. [E!]
• The rumor about Parks and Recreation being meh could be circulating because gossip columnist Nikki Finke hates NBC's Ben Silverman. [NY Mag]
• Michael Jackson would like to enter his London concerts riding an elephant, thank you very much. [Mirror]
• "Jade Goody and Princess Diana had so much in common." Pardon? [Daily Mail]
• Finish your Kirk chairs: Sunday's episode of Family Guy reunites the cast of Star Trek: The Next Generation. [e!]
• Fred Astaire: Secretly racist? Sigh. [Page Six]
• Blind item! "Which hot actor is clueless about his GF's cocaine addiction? His lady waits until he's off promoting a film before throwing wild drug bashes at their home." [Gaetcrasher]
• "He is hilarious to me. I just got it. Every time I drove to record his voice, I was excited about coming up with this funny stuff to say. I felt like I accomplished something, making a movie kids like that is as hilarious as anything that is out there. [But] I did a meet-and-greet with kids after the premiere in Australia. I realized kids just don't like Seth Rogen. I scare the (bleep) out of them. Maybe it's my laugh or that I'm a big, hairy guy. They just don't like me." — Seth Rogen, on playing B.O.B. in Monsters Vs. Aliens. [USA Today]
• "He stinks. I mean, it's awful. He never showers, and it drives people on the set crazy." — an insider on New Moon actor Robert Pattinson. [Perez]

• Lindsay Lohan a liar? In the latest issue of Nylon, LL says she's hoping to work with Seth Rogen but "Seth won't call us back." Rogen says:

"That's not true — I never got a call from anyone that works for her." [The Star]

• More Lindsay Lohan drama: A source says she "is spending like crazy" and is living on credit right now. And most of the cash she spends? It's Samantha's. [Gatecrasher]
• Sad face! Agyness Deyn and Albert Hammond Jr. broke up. [NY Mag]
• Has Madonna dumped Jesus Luz? [Just Jared]
• This report says Jesus recently said: "Madonna has an amazing body, is a sexy, kind person and a great mother. The difference in our ages means nothing. She looks like a 30-year-old and has a youthful personality to go with it. I love her and nothing else matters." Which sounds like they are not broken up. [PopDirt]
• By the by, Madonna's nanny gave notice, then her Madgesty told her to leave, immediately. [Daily Mail]
• This paper claims that Guy Ritchie has a black eye, but the photographic evidence is sketchy. [The Sun]
• Jade Goody, dental assistant turned reality-TV star, died Sunday at the age of 27. [AP, NY Times]
• The Jade Goody farewell will be planned by her family. [Mirror]
• Jade Goody leaves behind £4 million for her sons. [Telegraph]
• Amy Winehouse's label isn't thrilled with her new music; they were expecting her "trademark vintage soul" sound and she is now "heavily influenced by reggae," naturally. [The Sun]
• "Bruce Willis Ties Knot With Underwear Model" means he married a woman who has posed for Victoria's Secret. The ceremony took place at Parrot Bay in the Turks & Caicos. [Breitbart, Yahoo via AP]
• Demi Moore, Ashton Kutcher and Rumer, Scout and Tallulah attended the wedding. [Star]
• Yes, Ashton Kutcher Twittered a picture of Demi Moore's ass — taken while she was steaming his suit (maybe for the wedding?) Yes, she knew about it. No, I don't know why people are so interested. Like they have never seen a woman bending over before. [Defamer]
• Michael Jackson wants to adopt a kid. No comment. [Gatecrasher]
• Harrison Ford and Calista Flockhart are engaged; he decided to put a ring on it. [NY Post, Daily Mail]
• Katie Holmes "played babysitter" for Cruz and Romeo Beckham, taking them — and Suri — out around L.A. over the weekend. [Daily Mail]
• A wake was held for Natasha Richardson on Saturday in Manhattan. [Star]
• Natasha Richardson's funeral was held late Sunday afternoon in upstate New York. [E!, USA Today]
• Another picture from the forthcoming Where The Wild Things Are flick can be found here. Guess what? The kid who plays Max is named Max. [USA Today]
• Winnie Cooper is married, you guys. Danica McKellar got hitched in La Jolla, CA this weekend. [ET]
• Here's everything you want to know about Annie Leibovitz's money troubles — which may have nothing to do with same-sex marriage after all. [Page Six]
• Whoa: Katy Perry is dating Josh Groban? I kissed a (singer who makes people want to) hurl! [Perez]
• Honestly, it is sort of shocking that Knowing topped the box office, with $6 million more than I Love You, Man, since there were no early reviews and Nicolas Cage did zero publicity and Paul Rudd worked overtime. But Knowing is PG-13 and ILYM is rated R, so maybe families went to see Cage? [Breitbart]
• Like House? Like spoilers? This link pretty much tells you who is going to die. [NY Mag]
• Remember that Jennifer Aniston movie, The Baster? This casting call is looking for a "heavy set woman" and a "woman with a round face, small eyes, and upturned nose" to have profanities shouted at them in a scene. Fun? [TMZ]
• Johnny Depp topped a list of stars people would most like to share a candlelit dinner with. [The Star]
• Prince Harry will have lunch with the soldier he called a racial slur. [Telegraph]
• Are you ready for this image-shattering picture of 18-year-old Emma Roberts in the new GQ — in which she is wearing a tanktop and no bra? [Just Jared]
• Hilary Duff is back on TV: First she landed a guest spot on Ghost Whisperer; now she's gonna be on Law & Order: SVU. [E!]
• Speaking of L&O, Mariska Hargitay is headed back to work after a three-week absence. [People]
• Justin Guarini says American Idol sorta sucks: "Every single year, we cannot stand the group performances. I know they can't stand it either. And I think what makes [the group performances] even worse now is that they're lip-synced. They're really prerecorded now." [E!]
• Metallica went on stage at South By Southwest, telling the audience they were a "young band from Norway." Are they still in therapy? [USA Today]
• Kanye West closed SXSW, saying "It feels so good to rock for you tonight." [AP]
• We heard Megan Fox and Brian Austin Green broke up; then we heard they were back together, now we're hearing that she has moved out and is staying in a hotel. Ah, l'amour. [E!]
• Congrats to Natasha Bedingfield, who got hitched in Malibu on Saturday. [E!]
• After the success of that video which is an internet hit, Ricky Gervais and Elmo are working on a show together! [The Sun]
• Flavor Flav turned 50 over the weekend?!?!?! [Hollywood Rag]
• John Mellencamp blogged about the record business for HuffPo. [Huffington Post]
• Jamie Lee Curtis blogged about the "Recession Diet." [HuffPo]
• M.I.A. will play Coachella on April 18. [NY Times]
• "John Cleese halves payout for ex-wife to £650,000 in first celebrity credit crunch divorce." [Daily Mail]
• Blind item! "Which closeted TV icon enjoys "watersports" in his bedroom? His steady stream of gentleman callers are a little grossed out by it." [Gatecrasher]
• "I love writing for Dwight because he has one of the richest back stories of any of the characters. He is a farmer who is part Amish, who has war criminal relatives and who was involved in a secret love triangle — and has a nine-bedroom, possibly haunted hotel-farm. He has such a colorful past, and Rainn [Wilson] is such a gifted actor that it's like a great treasure map writing for his character… I think the Kelly character is fun to play because she's not a role model for anybody. Although I do sometimes believe my parents wish I played a cardiologist at Johns Hopkins." — Mindy Kaling, of The Office. [Washington Post]
• "To say that they like this movie would be like the crazy understatement of the world, 'cause they are crazy about it. They carry the characters around; they play in the morning with their action figures, so this is a really great experience to make a film for my kids that they love. There's not that many movies that have female superheroes in them so this was a great opportunity to not only be telling a great story of female empowerment but also create this awesome character." — Reese Witherspoon, on Monsters Vs. Aliens. [The Sun]
• "I'd probably have head-butted her new boyfriend, put her over my shoulder and run off." — Pete Doherty, on what he'd have done if he'd seen Kate Moss at his record label. [The Sun]
• "A few people have gone overboard. We have people come in to spray them. But there's a little Oompa-Loompa going on this season. It's not for me. I'm holding to the middle-age pasty-white-guy look." — Tom Bergeron, on the orange-ness on the contestants on Dancing With The Stars. [E!]
• "I love doing photo shoots. I mean, if I could just sign with IMG and do ad campaigns and model more, I'd do that… because that's fun for me. That's not work." — Lindsay Lohan, to Nylon. [Page Six]
• "A size zero? I've never heard of that. That didn't exist when I was growing up. When did that start? What does it mean?" — Heidi Klum. [Socialite Life]