GOP Says Hillary Clinton's Too Old, Because That Surely Won’t Backfire

If you needed any further proof that the modern Republican Party is a sarlacc pit where good campaign strategy goes to be slowly digested in the bowels of old white dudes for thousands of years, then this latest bit of age-snarking should probably do the trick: GOP strategists are trying very hard to remind potential… » 6/30/13 2:00pm 6/30/13 2:00pm

Activists Will Tailgate Mittens Romney's Campaign Bus With A Stuffed…

As we're sure you are aware by now, back in 1993 the Romneys strapped the family dog Seamus to the roof of their car for a 12-hour drive, thus beginning a dark night of the soul for the poor Irish Setter, who pooped himself in abject fear. » 6/16/12 1:30pm 6/16/12 1:30pm

Rick Santorum Courts 5-Year-Old Girl Vote With Staunchly Pro Horse,…

Scandal from the Santorum camp: the bevested holy roller with less self awareness than a dog licking its balls during a dinner party has downplayed his past — and that past could destroy his reputation as someone with almost completely repugnant views. It seems that throughout his political career, while comparing gay… » 3/23/12 5:15pm 3/23/12 5:15pm

Rick Santorum's Calls 3-Year-Old Daughter's Recovery 'Miraculous'

Former Senator Rick Santorum cancelled his Presidential campaign stops in Florida yesterday after his 3-year-old daughter Bella was hospitalized with pneumonia. Now, he's saying that he may return to the campaign trail after Bella's prognosis suddenly started looking more positive. She may even be able to check out of… » 1/30/12 12:35pm 1/30/12 12:35pm

Mitt Romney Is Running For America's Embarrassing Dad

In an attempt to add some more artfully wayward locks of hair to his polished pol image, former Massachusetts governor and current Iowa tourist Mitt Romney has taken making small talk with the locals he meets while on the campaign trail. Unfortunately, Romney must be used to having his undocumented lawn servants make… » 12/28/11 11:25am 12/28/11 11:25am

Herman Cain's Mistress Is The Most Boring Mistress Ever

Herman Cain's alleged mistress Ginger White took to Good Morning America this morning, where George Stephanopoulos tried to ask her a bunch of gotcha questions and White responded by successfully avoiding saying one interesting thing. How is it that she's so boring? Her name's Ginger! She was flown all around the… » 11/30/11 11:10am 11/30/11 11:10am

Nearly 200,000 People Care Enough To Listen To Donald Trump Talk At…

The man with the hair we're supposed to ignore and the woman with the eyes we can't ignore have teamed up to have a phone conversation that we wish we could ignore. Donand Trump joined Michele Bachmann on a phone call to promote the Minnesota Congresswoman's Presidential campaign on Monday, and, as you might expect, it … » 10/18/11 1:00pm 10/18/11 1:00pm

Hillary Clinton, And Imagery I Didn't Need

I am not a squeamish person. At all. But, I frankly think that the phrase "attach a paintbrush to her underwear" and the name Hilary Clinton need to be much, much further apart that Robin Givhan placed them in her Sunday article about Hil and feminist performance art. It is, however, a pretty fierce indictment of modern… » 10/30/07 10:45am 10/30/07 10:45am