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Would You Vote for Hillary Clinton Based on Her Spotify Playlist?

Hillary Clinton, Presidential candidate and purveyor of millennial-targeted merchandise, is fully ready to take this election thing by storm. And as everyone knows, to run for President, you have to have signature jams to back you up. Hillary just don’t stop thinkin’ about tomorrow. »6/15/15 1:50pm6/15/15 1:50pm

White House Easter: Obama Tells Screaming Kids 'Bees Are Good'

On Monday, at the White House Easter Egg Roll, President Obama’s reading of Maurice Sendak’s Where the Wild Things Are was interrupted by bees. The children in attendance screamed, because children and bees are natural enemies. The President urged them to stop screaming, because “bees are good,” and besides, wild… »4/06/15 5:30pm4/06/15 5:30pm

Elizabeth Warren Is Not Running for President, Says Elizabeth Warren

It's hard to read former FDIC Chairman Sheila Bair's highly engaging interview with Senator Elizabeth Warren about the United States' current (dire) financial situation and not wish for a Warren presidency. Unfortunately, later on in the very same interview, the senator dashes our hopes of that ever happening—at least… »1/13/15 4:30pm1/13/15 4:30pm

This Kid Is So Done With Obama He Can't Even Keep Himself Upright

Adults, right? It's like every time your parents drag you to a party they spend about 300 hours saying goodbye and you're just standing there smiling and trying to telepathically communicate that it's time to STFU and GTF out of there. This kid took matters into his own hands by just swan diving into a couch in the… »9/09/14 6:30pm9/09/14 6:30pm

Hillary Clinton's Relationship Status With 2016: It's Complicated

The buzz about Hillary Clinton's potential 2016 run for president started, as these things do, as soon as President Obama's reelection was confirmed. Within a week, PolicyMic said that she was the number one pick for a Democratic candidate, writing that "There's no one that Democrats would like to have running in… »8/14/13 2:00pm8/14/13 2:00pm

Hypothetically, Hillary Clinton Is For Sure Running for President

Speaking at a women’s lecture series in Toronto, noted HGTV enthusiast Hillary Clinton dropped a bombshell. An atomic bombshell. No, fuck that — she terraformed the political landscape with a new and shocking statement. Clinton told the unsuspecting crowd that she’d like to see a woman become president of the… »6/23/13 12:30pm6/23/13 12:30pm

NPR Retracts Insights on 'Perky' Kirsten Gillibrand's 'Girlie Voice'

New York Democratic Senator Kirsten Gillibrand's star has been rising for the past several years. She was elected to fill Hillary Clinton's senate seat in 2010, and since then, has been championed by Democratic party stars like Howard Dean or the super-PAC EMILY's List as a possible contender for president. This… »5/16/13 4:30pm5/16/13 4:30pm

Maybe It’s Time for Kirsten Gillibrand to Leapfrog Hillary Clinton

As we, the sycophantic public, dangle precariously between presidential election cycles, only one question keeps us attuned to the distant rumblings of potential candidates as they posture, pivot, and promenade their way to a spot in the presidential primary spotlight of 2016: could Kirsten Gillibrand leapfrog Hillary… »4/29/13 1:05pm4/29/13 1:05pm

The White House Doesn't Want Bikini-Body Obsessed World Leering at Paparazzi Pix of Sasha and Malia on the Beach

Last week, President Barack Obama and his family were in Hawaii for their annual Christmas vacation. Photographers captured several moments of POTUS during the trip, including a jaunt to a shave ice shop and a golf outing. Some vacation shots, like this one, are actually released by the White House itself. But when a… »1/08/13 12:50pm1/08/13 12:50pm

Secret Service Exhausted by Massive Number of Death Threats Against President Obama

Being the President is a much harder job than I CAN B PRESIDENT Barbie and the movie First Kid make it seem. In fact, one of the occupational hazards of the job are near-constant death threats. And — SURPRISE — the same President who inspires billboards more racist than a cartoon version of Birth of a Nation starring… »11/26/12 5:00pm11/26/12 5:00pm

The Hug Is Never Just a Hug: Bill and Barack Are Perfectly Physical

You'd have to be living under a rock (or at least without an internet connection) to have somehow missed the news that Bill Clinton completely slayed his forty-eight-minute speech at the DNC last night. Both Twitter and Facebook were bursting with energy regarding the former president, though it wasn't just because of… »9/06/12 1:20pm9/06/12 1:20pm

Everybody and Their Mothers Think Hillary Clinton Should Run for President

Two notable Democrats have recognized the cosmic inevitability that Hillary Clinton will one day become president of a utopian future nation comprised of every North and South America nation. Okay, no one's exactly said anything like that, but both Nancy Pelosi and Ed Whoops-I'm-Still-Talking Rendell believe that… »6/03/12 6:00pm6/03/12 6:00pm

GOP Group Calls Obama 'Metrosexual Black Abe Lincoln,' Which Sounds Totally Awesome

A Super PAC hell-bent on unseating President Obama this fall has unveiled their genius plan for convincing America that its current Commander-in-Chief is unfit to lead. Get an "extremely literate" black Republican to appear on a commercial and refer to the President as a "black, metrosexual Abe Lincoln." That would be… »5/17/12 12:10pm5/17/12 12:10pm