It's times like this that I'm incredibly thankful for my public performing arts high school, where there was no such thing as "popular kids."
I did, however, attend a small private middle school; and I can say with all certainty that cliques absolutely do name themselves, or adopt names that others give them. Those girls were absolute SHARKS-- though in retrospect, I'm pretty sure that they were all really, really unhappy, too.
i'm really shocked that a girl would actually be named "Cashmere." Naming your child after a luxury textile speaks volumes about that whole culture.
My sister watches that NYC Prep show, and in seeing it myself I'm really alarmed at the entitlement of these wealthy kids. That seems like the scariest thing- how they feel like they'll never have to work for anything. I really think that's just going to damage them in the long run- probably leading to drug problems and a general sort of unproductive life.
@andromedeia: I really wonder if that's her real name. In my experience, wealthy families are more likely to name their children classic names Isabelle, Grace or Emily while something as obviously money related as Cashmere is more common among not well off families.
I find myself terribly attracted to this book, and I'll probably read it, though I won't enjoy it. Isn't that screwed up? I didn't like Prep very much, and I couldn't get into Gossip Girl, but generally speaking, I always want to read this. Still some issues from (middle class, public) high school, I suppose.
One thing I'm noticing now, though, and this is probably a product of age, is that I just don't remember so many things that were enormous in my life right up until the 10-year reunion. I went to that and found that all of the distinctions I'd lived with while in high school had flattened, that everyone was somehow diminished, that people remembered me who by all rights shouldn't have. It made me wonder if so much of it all was just in my head. Though there were certainly cliques and popular kids, it made little difference even ten years out. I have to say that the greatest power of Facebook so far has been to challenge my notions of just how those people saw me in junior high and high school. I saw myself as easily the least popular person anywhere. An awful lot of people have been glad to see me in the last year, for that to be true.
I think the obsession with wealth really spiraled out on control post-9/11. I went to a pretty affluent public high school and when I was a student in the late 90s everyone shopped at J Crew and drove their grandma's old car. Just a few years later, every girl seemed to be carrying a $500 purse, wearing $200 jeans and driving a brand new jeep. I don't think the parents had gotten any richer, but suddenly the kids had a lot more money. My recollection of my cousin's high school years in the late 80s were a lot more like the 00s than the 90s. I think when the economy is doing well, people are more ostentatious and that carries over into high school. Brenda and Brandon lived in Beverly Hills but they were presented as much more average than Blair on the Facts of Life or Gossip Girl. I think we may be in for another shift back to financial modesty.
@clevernamehere: I agree. I went to school about the same time. When I remember the "rich kids" I went to school with I remember them having a cell phone/beeper and having a car. I remember The Gap being considered hotsy-totsy. I don't remember any of the kids driving luxury cars. Just the fact that their parents bought them their own car was "rich" to us. My sister is three years younger than me and I remember when she hit senior year ('04) I heard her prattling on about desperately "needing" Prada and other designer goods my mother couldn't afford and was shocked.
I also notice that you can't read a teen book nowadays without the characters being at least upper middle class. (Unless it's urban teen fiction- which is another discussion in and of itself).
I really wonder how this memoir will stand up once her classmates read it and weigh in. People often have very biased recollections of high school, doubly so if they are still talking about it five years later.
It's kind of like how no one wants to admit they were popular in high school. More than once I've known people who describe themselves as awkward dorks only to find out later they were on the homecoming court. I know everyone feels awkward in high school, but that doesn't make you Ally Sheedy in the Breakfast Club.
@PixiePie: Yes indeedy. Though I don't think they called themselves that, and the borders of the group were always nebulous...but I do remember it extended to even calling black, bootcut pants (then a new phenomenon) "sweet pants."
@queenieinmanhattan: I went to a very poor school and there was names for some groups ...one being the "grunt squad" but i think these were names given by others and eventually absorbed by the members themselves.
I've no problem or obsession/envy for rich prep school educated people because I am one. The only problem I have with them is how these people try to deny how shallow, entitled, and privileged most of them are. The three main things that people cared about at my school (and the other sister schools that I got to visit) were in order: 1. money, 2. cars, and 3. grades. And, no, not one single person dominated our class but everyone did separate into groups. The honors people went off with their own, the "regular" people went off on their own, etc. Some groups did have their own racial components to them. For example, the rich hispanics who always gloated about how many factories their parents owned in downtown LA would separate themselves from the poorer hispanics same for the whites, blacks, and asians. People may be shallow in public high school but there's just something about prep school (hint: rich entitled assholes) that makes it more shallow and sucky.
@Evie Havok: This is what I loved about going to a school at which almost everyone was poor: everyone was so focused on getting good grades so that we could actually go to college to be worried about anything else. I credit my work ethic and anti-materialism to growing up like that.
@Evie Havok: I went to prep school, too, and there were definitely kids with a sense of entitlement.
But, since it was a boarding school, and since this was just before the rise of the cell phone and the internet (we didn't even have phones in our rooms till my senior year), everyone was kind of equal, in the same boat.
You couldn't have a car, you couldn't buy clothes more than a couple of times a year, and so people really focused on grades, activities, sports, and, of course, the usual teenage dramas.
Maybe I had my eyes closed the entire four years, but it was hardly in the same category of ridiculous entitlement as, say, NYC Prep is. Totally different world.
Ha ha ha ha ha ha - my GRAD school had cliques with names. Just sayin'
These books are popular, IMO, because they portray what most people don't have but yet everyone allegedly wants, namely money, popularity and beauty (maybe athletic ability for men too). By portraying the "haves" negatively, we feel better about ourselves - though we may not be conventionally beautiful/rich and/or popular, at least we're not like THAT. Hence the prevasive stereotypes of the cruel, manipulative, pretty and vapid popular girl (or the meatheaded male jock) and the put down, "different thus unique and special," booksmart unpopular nerd.
@CubeRootOfPi: The girl who was the meanest to me in school was actually a dominating member of the goth/punk/outsider (that mildly merged with the cool geek boys- we didn't have a whole lot of clique options in our school) kids. Honestly, I've found just as much meanness in goth/punk/outsider cliques as there are in reg cliques.
did anyone else's high school actually have popular crowds with names?
Yes, my (public) high school had a group called "the Blondies." I actually talked with one girl about how she hated being part of the group. I was so socially out of it I had no idea that kind of thing was going on.
This makes me glad that I went to a public school in which almost everyone was lower-middle-class, and the ones who weren't went to great lengths to hide the fact they had more money than everyone else. It made for a very inclusive atmosphere.
I remember in 5th grade our teacher made the class have a meeting about the emerging "popular" crowd (she was young and I think she thought she could change the social structuring of kids) and referred to them as "The Posse" but all the kids who were in this "Posse" laughed at the idea of calling their crowd any kind of name (and denied that said crowd existed when everyone totally knew it did.)
Doesn't everyone else remember that the popular kids never thought they WERE popular or mean? I can't tell you how many people I've run into who've said their school didn't have an "in crowd" only to explain to them if you believe that than you were apart of it.
You know, I may be totally offbase here, but I'm pretty sure that "Everything Sucks: Losing My Mind and Finding Myself in a High School Quest for Cool" could be the story of high school anywhere. Including my significantly lower-middle-class public high school situated smack dab in the middle of a cornfield in rural Illinois.
@Ratinski: I would have to second that emotion (I'm originally from Peoria). It's the difference between Guess jeans (back in the day) and Chanel bags--they're different forms of social currency but currencies nonetheless. It just goes to show how arbitrary the "things" are even when there is a regularity to their significance. Here's the thing: I watch NYC Prep because it is a fascinating freak show not on account of some sort class mystique. In high school, if me and my friends ever encountered people like the kind detailed in "Everything Sucks" we would have laughed at them (politely, and behind their backs so as to not hurt any feelings or crush already overinflated egos). Judging clothes based on how expensive they are would have been considered as poser as going Goth on weekends or wearing Guess jeans because they were trendy. Just a different flavor of lame. God I hope my niece doesn't get sucked into this whole commercial sucker ethos.
@Malaise: I wanted a pair of Guess jeans so bad that my mother once bought a pair (not in my size) at a yard sale for $2, carefully snipped off the logo, and sewed it on the back pocket of my Farm and Fleet issue Wranglers. It didn't help my social standing, although I'm still impressed with Mom's ingenuity.
@Ratinski: Hahah! I think my mom did the same thing with some lacost alligators for my social-climbing brother.
By the way: Farm and Fleet! AHAHAH. They used to have the best licorice!
08/14/09
I did, however, attend a small private middle school; and I can say with all certainty that cliques absolutely do name themselves, or adopt names that others give them. Those girls were absolute SHARKS-- though in retrospect, I'm pretty sure that they were all really, really unhappy, too.
08/13/09
My sister watches that NYC Prep show, and in seeing it myself I'm really alarmed at the entitlement of these wealthy kids. That seems like the scariest thing- how they feel like they'll never have to work for anything. I really think that's just going to damage them in the long run- probably leading to drug problems and a general sort of unproductive life.
08/13/09
08/13/09
08/13/09
One thing I'm noticing now, though, and this is probably a product of age, is that I just don't remember so many things that were enormous in my life right up until the 10-year reunion. I went to that and found that all of the distinctions I'd lived with while in high school had flattened, that everyone was somehow diminished, that people remembered me who by all rights shouldn't have. It made me wonder if so much of it all was just in my head. Though there were certainly cliques and popular kids, it made little difference even ten years out. I have to say that the greatest power of Facebook so far has been to challenge my notions of just how those people saw me in junior high and high school. I saw myself as easily the least popular person anywhere. An awful lot of people have been glad to see me in the last year, for that to be true.
08/13/09
08/13/09
I also notice that you can't read a teen book nowadays without the characters being at least upper middle class. (Unless it's urban teen fiction- which is another discussion in and of itself).
08/13/09
That would be the "God Squad" at my school (This is what happens when you go to public school in the heart of the Bible Belt).
08/13/09
It's kind of like how no one wants to admit they were popular in high school. More than once I've known people who describe themselves as awkward dorks only to find out later they were on the homecoming court. I know everyone feels awkward in high school, but that doesn't make you Ally Sheedy in the Breakfast Club.
08/13/09
Yup. "Sweet Posse." And, yes: it was a prep school.
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But, since it was a boarding school, and since this was just before the rise of the cell phone and the internet (we didn't even have phones in our rooms till my senior year), everyone was kind of equal, in the same boat.
You couldn't have a car, you couldn't buy clothes more than a couple of times a year, and so people really focused on grades, activities, sports, and, of course, the usual teenage dramas.
Maybe I had my eyes closed the entire four years, but it was hardly in the same category of ridiculous entitlement as, say, NYC Prep is. Totally different world.
08/13/09
These books are popular, IMO, because they portray what most people don't have but yet everyone allegedly wants, namely money, popularity and beauty (maybe athletic ability for men too). By portraying the "haves" negatively, we feel better about ourselves - though we may not be conventionally beautiful/rich and/or popular, at least we're not like THAT. Hence the prevasive stereotypes of the cruel, manipulative, pretty and vapid popular girl (or the meatheaded male jock) and the put down, "different thus unique and special," booksmart unpopular nerd.
08/13/09
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08/13/09
I thought that happened at every high school.
08/13/09
Yes, my (public) high school had a group called "the Blondies." I actually talked with one girl about how she hated being part of the group. I was so socially out of it I had no idea that kind of thing was going on.
08/13/09
08/13/09
08/13/09
Doesn't everyone else remember that the popular kids never thought they WERE popular or mean? I can't tell you how many people I've run into who've said their school didn't have an "in crowd" only to explain to them if you believe that than you were apart of it.
08/13/09
08/13/09
08/13/09
08/13/09
By the way: Farm and Fleet! AHAHAH. They used to have the best licorice!