I had an amazing conversation with a friend about this book after we watched Ehrenreich on The Daily Show the other day. It was like a veil being pulled back to reveal a truth that had been turned on it's head. The notion that being positive would lead to good things, as if some sort of magic were at play. It was like realizing at 40 years old that there was no Santa Clause.
The most eye-opening theme of the interview for me was the notion of other people being intolerant to your experiences if they are not framed in a positive light. Her example was of feeling isolated when she tried to communicate to others her fear and anger over her cancer. However, people in general are intolerant of people who express "negative" thoughts in all areas of social interaction. Sure, your close friends will try to comfort you when you are feeling down, but try giving the grocery store cashier a response other than "good", or "great!" when she asks you how you're doing. People are rendered almost speechless, and squirm with discomfort if you deviate from the positive or fail to mention a silver lining to your troubles.
And don't even get me started on the subject of workplace positivity. Having worked at Amazon.com - with a corporate culture like a cult of optimism, where anyone who spoke out against the 60 hour work weeks and lack of advancement opportunities was blacklisted and labeled a malcontent, and "not a team player". #brightsided
I remember back in the mid 1980's when you started to see a slew of management books pushing ideas like, convincing workers that layoffs and having no job security was a good thing because it allowed them to reinvent themselves instead of being trapped in a long term job doing the same old thing thus stifling their creativity and joy for life. So, the benefits and wage increases you'd earned from long time service and loyalty to a company were really just ball and chains holding you down, blinding you to the soul killing tyranny of job security. #brightsided
Wow, I want to read this book. I think the whole "positive-thinking" and "mind over matter" ideas can do a real disservice to people suffering from depression and other mental illnesses. Sorry, but my family history includes a lot of that and yeah, I'm on anti-depressants. Does it mean I'm not as good of a person because I couldn't overcome it with just my mind? No, and that's the case with other people.
I also hate the business-speak idea of not referring to things as problems but calling them "opportunities." If you put a positive spin on everything it belittles the real problems that need to be addressed. #brightsided
I wonder if she mentions Louise LaHayes masterpieces of victim-blaming in her book? In LaHaye world one LITERALLY causes one's own illness due to unmet subconscious needs and desires.
As someone who has suffered from CFIDS for 12 years, I find that hard to understand. I have given up a wonderful and glorious life to live like a vegetable because I have low self-esteem? I think not. #brightsided
This also reminds me of a training thing I had to go to at work a bit back. First the people there treated the group of people who at the youngest was maybe 23 to middle aged adults like a kindergarten class. Second they told us that we had to be happy looking at work because it increased sales (because who wants to shop somewhere where the employees look sad? *actual quote*) and when the person was talking about up selling tried to convince us that we up soled because it made the customer feel better and that it was a courtesy. Which got me mad because I worked a theater for five years where upselling is shoved down your throat but at least that company had the decency to tell us we did it for the extra money.
Honesty, seriously- am I the only one who can't stand being lied to by the people they work for?
Seriously, this whole topic is something that has been buzzing in my brain for the last year or so and I'm really glad Ehrenreich put it to paper for everyone to read. #brightsided
"Ehrenreich also writes persuasively that the popularity of positive thinking in corporate America — she cites the rise of "self-described management gurus" like Tony Robbins and the book Who Moved My Cheese? as examples — has served to blind workers to their ever-decreasing job security. "
"With the result that workers are less likely to complain about their employers' increasingly capricious control over their lives."
Good God... how many times have I heard from my co-workers that my pointing out the horrible way that the company treats us is me being "negative" and "you must be so unhappy hating your job." I don't hate my "job" necessary I just can't blind myself the the horrid way they treat us.
It really gets me angry because I want the others to start getting angry about this stuff. People these days are so freaking passive about being treated like crap by their employers. This is part of why so many companies have no health plans or why people work 12 hour shifts without getting overtime because people got so pacified with "be grateful you have a job" and "being negative only makes the situation worse" that they don't GET angry anymore.
Sorry. I just needed that out of my system. #brightsided
"While looking on the bright side of a layoff may make sense on a personal level, it also discourages any sort of collective action."
Collective action against layoffs? Layoffs, from a strictly macro-level perspective, can be good for the economy. If a firm can't lay workers off, it can't hire them either, and then you end up in situations where there is widespread youth unemployment (ex- France).
On the individual/family level, layoffs are indeed terrible. I think it's fine to try to reframe them positively from that perspective #brightsided
@Celestaida: I don't think there's a bright side to places that have 20% unemployment because of massive layoffs. Collective action would be the best course for people in such situations. #brightsided
I think there is a problem equating the sincere effort to joyfully embrace life with "self-absorption." Jill Bolte Taylor's book, "My stroke of insight" offers a scientific explanation and description of the blissful state we experience through right brain processing as opposed to the ego-involved, hierarchical focus of the left brain. If we have a choice, and we do, about how we feel and think about our lives, then why shouldn't we look into that? Why not feel good about coming to really know our own unique perspectives as opposed to nursing a self-righteous anger about the injustice of the world? There are a lot of angry self-righteous people who think their political talk "counts" as taking action. Anger "works" for some people. It clearly works for Ehrenreich, whose writing a respect. It's not for everyone. #brightsided
@BuffyPhD: I have to say that I bought this book and found it to be poorly written and uninteresting. I wasn't impressed by Jill Bolte Taylor's description of her insights from having a stroke. In fact, I thought it was a poorly done attempt to duplicate Kaye Redfield Jamison's success in writing about her own mental health issues. Jamison is very insightful, Taylor, not really so. #brightsided
@Tart of Darkness: I wasn't recommending the book based on the author's skills as a writer. Rather, her explanation of the science behind thoughts and feelings, and her willingness to share her highly informed yet completely subjective experience of lost and re-gained brain function is instructive. Right-brain "thinking" isn't "magical," and it is a powerful way of experiencing a joyful, radical love of life. And Taylor explains why this is so based on neuroanatomy rather than metaphysics, which I found very helpful and compelling. #brightsided
We live in a society where children are constantly told "Do your best and you'll make it." B.S. It needs to be demoted to "Do your best and you'll know that you did your best. Deal with the rest of your life that didn't work out in whatever escapist way you can manage to." Of course that doesn't exactly roll off the tongue.
@pdschaffner: You would not believe the amount of time I spent as a tutor at an American college explaining to students that you don't 'deserve' an A because you did your best or you worked hard. You deserve an A if your work is good enough to merit an A. Most of the time that involves hard work as well, naturally, but you're being rewarded for excellence, not effort.
Then they usually cried. It was awkward. #brightsided
I've wholeheartedly fallen in love with Barbara Ehrenreich's ideas. She was on the Daily Show last week and I loved it.
If someone's going through a serious illness, when people say, "You can fight it, you're strong, you'll be fine!" they're devaluing both the emotions of the person going through it, but also the lives of anyone who died of the same thing. Just weren't strong enough fighters or positive thinkers, I guess. 'Cause otherwise they would've been fine. No pressure, though: be happy OR DIE. #brightsided
I don't know if I can bear to read her take on cancer. My mom was/is in that exact situation. People who seem to be otherwise sane individuals, have tried to tell her that a keeping your emotions bottled up causes cancer, or a negative attitude will prevent treatment from working. Seriously, what is that about? Why can't a breast cancer patient be mad as hell? Because it makes people uncomfortable? I really don't get it. I realize that people want to offer comfort. That's fine. But there's a whole other sinister new-age-y school of thought out there that is essentially blaming people for their illnesses, simply because they don't buy into the power of positive thought. Sometimes I wonder if the whole Pink Ribbon thing is somehow tied into that idea. Getting angry was probably the most mentally healthy thing my mother did in a long time. #brightsided
@pourtant: I agree with Another Jenn but I also think there's also the idea that people dying need to do it saintly to some extent. It's like Beth in Little Women, I think some people need the sickly/dying to take it and be happy or else it scares the living daylights out of them to know that facing death is frightening when it comes time for them. That's just my guess. #brightsided
I read an article similar to this recently called "Cancer Butch" by Dr. Sarah Lochlann Jain. Although there's lots more to it than the theme of positive thinking, it mentions the difference in the approach to finding a cure for AIDS and finding a cure for cancer. While no cures have been found of course, because AIDS became such a political movement and there was SO much anger, incidences of new infections were decreased an incredibly amount in a short period of time. Breast cancer specifically is handled by walking, pink ribbons, (opposite of anger/politics), etc. On top of that, the products that tout their support of breast cancer have carcinogens in the packaging and the product. This argument becomes a critique on capitalism for me, but there are similarities between these two pieces that are super important to note. #brightsided
I've been thinking about this lately. I work as a bartender, some days you make good money, others not so good.
I have a boss that, despite it being a SHITTY day, loves to say "well at least you have a job!"
I've been trying to figure out how to describe how annoying it is when people say that, beyond the fact that I think THEY have a shitty attitude.
I guess it just seems so...complacent. And that's one thing I'm not. #brightsided
@veronykah: I'm with you. The same with "be grateful you have a job" whenever you complain about how you are treated by your employer. It's a mantra that leads to workers rights being downplayed. It was all the rage in the Depression.
I feel like it was mentioned it in The Grapes of Wrath but I haven't read it in awhile to be sure... maybe I'm thinking of another piece of lit about the Depression? #brightsided
10/22/09
The most eye-opening theme of the interview for me was the notion of other people being intolerant to your experiences if they are not framed in a positive light. Her example was of feeling isolated when she tried to communicate to others her fear and anger over her cancer. However, people in general are intolerant of people who express "negative" thoughts in all areas of social interaction. Sure, your close friends will try to comfort you when you are feeling down, but try giving the grocery store cashier a response other than "good", or "great!" when she asks you how you're doing. People are rendered almost speechless, and squirm with discomfort if you deviate from the positive or fail to mention a silver lining to your troubles.
And don't even get me started on the subject of workplace positivity. Having worked at Amazon.com - with a corporate culture like a cult of optimism, where anyone who spoke out against the 60 hour work weeks and lack of advancement opportunities was blacklisted and labeled a malcontent, and "not a team player". #brightsided
10/22/09
10/22/09
I also hate the business-speak idea of not referring to things as problems but calling them "opportunities." If you put a positive spin on everything it belittles the real problems that need to be addressed. #brightsided
10/22/09
10/22/09
As someone who has suffered from CFIDS for 12 years, I find that hard to understand. I have given up a wonderful and glorious life to live like a vegetable because I have low self-esteem? I think not. #brightsided
10/22/09
Honesty, seriously- am I the only one who can't stand being lied to by the people they work for?
Seriously, this whole topic is something that has been buzzing in my brain for the last year or so and I'm really glad Ehrenreich put it to paper for everyone to read. #brightsided
10/22/09
"With the result that workers are less likely to complain about their employers' increasingly capricious control over their lives."
Good God... how many times have I heard from my co-workers that my pointing out the horrible way that the company treats us is me being "negative" and "you must be so unhappy hating your job." I don't hate my "job" necessary I just can't blind myself the the horrid way they treat us.
It really gets me angry because I want the others to start getting angry about this stuff. People these days are so freaking passive about being treated like crap by their employers. This is part of why so many companies have no health plans or why people work 12 hour shifts without getting overtime because people got so pacified with "be grateful you have a job" and "being negative only makes the situation worse" that they don't GET angry anymore.
Sorry. I just needed that out of my system. #brightsided
10/21/09
Collective action against layoffs? Layoffs, from a strictly macro-level perspective, can be good for the economy. If a firm can't lay workers off, it can't hire them either, and then you end up in situations where there is widespread youth unemployment (ex- France).
On the individual/family level, layoffs are indeed terrible. I think it's fine to try to reframe them positively from that perspective #brightsided
10/21/09
10/21/09
10/22/09
10/22/09
10/21/09
10/22/09
Then they usually cried. It was awkward. #brightsided
10/22/09
10/22/09
10/21/09
10/21/09
If someone's going through a serious illness, when people say, "You can fight it, you're strong, you'll be fine!" they're devaluing both the emotions of the person going through it, but also the lives of anyone who died of the same thing. Just weren't strong enough fighters or positive thinkers, I guess. 'Cause otherwise they would've been fine. No pressure, though: be happy OR DIE. #brightsided
10/21/09
10/22/09
10/21/09
10/21/09
I have a boss that, despite it being a SHITTY day, loves to say "well at least you have a job!"
I've been trying to figure out how to describe how annoying it is when people say that, beyond the fact that I think THEY have a shitty attitude.
I guess it just seems so...complacent. And that's one thing I'm not. #brightsided
10/22/09
I feel like it was mentioned it in The Grapes of Wrath but I haven't read it in awhile to be sure... maybe I'm thinking of another piece of lit about the Depression? #brightsided
10/21/09