Jezebel: posing

Hollywood Actresses Are A Bunch Of Posers

Margaret — Mon, 23 Feb 2009 15:30:00 EST

Today, as we pour over Oscar fashions, it's important to remember that $5 million jewels and a custom fitted gown alone don't make an actress look fabulous - she needs a finely honed pose.

Posing is an art form, and Hollywood stylists may spend hours with their clients, giving them lessons on, as The Washington Post describes it, "contorting a three-dimensional body, with all of its curves and angles, into a vision of two-dimensional perfection." "This is an actress's image, the way people see her outside that movie," says Jeanne Yang, a L.A. stylist who has worked with Katie Holmes, Salma Hayek and Cameron Diaz. "Those pictures will live forever." While non-famous wives and relatives may be seen slouching down the red carpet like normal humans, even after 45 minutes on the red carpet, you'll be hard pressed to find a photo of a true A-lister not snapped into the "one foot in front of the other, hands on hips" pose. [The Washington Post]

The Hand-On-Hip Pose: An Anthropological Study

Jessica — Fri, 06 Jun 2008 14:00:00 EDT

The other day I noticed that I can no longer pose for a picture without putting my hand on my hip. I blame this on the unending stream of events photos I look at as part of my job. I was staring at this picture of Rashida Jones today when it dawned on me: this pose is ridiculous. It's supposed to make you look thinner, but really it makes everyone look like a little teapot! Then I started wondering when this pose became so pervasive. Luckily, the official Oscar website has an archive of red carpet photos from the past five years. By perusing it, I have discovered precisely when our world's mega-stars insisted on posing with their hands firmly placed on their hips, bony elbows jutting out at 45 degree angles. Photographic evidence, after the jump.

Here's a photo of Cameron Diaz from the 2003 Oscar Ceremony. Lovely dress! Completely normal pose! She looks darling. I could not find one photo of a woman posed with her arm in teapot territory.
Now it's 2004. Sofia Coppola: nary a bent arm in sight. I think I found a single woman who was in the dreaded pose, but she wasn't even famous.
2005: in this year, early adopters began embracing this unnatural looking position.
But as you'll see in this next photo of Cate Blanchett from '05, not all celebrities had jumped on the teapot bandwagon.
Oh lord. In this photo from 2006, Felicity Huffman looks about as natural as a Stepford Wife exhibiting the increasingly popular teapot position. Looking through all the photos, about 60% of starlets have embraced it by this point.
Of course, O.G. bitches like Dame Judi Dench will never submit to the tyranny of the teapot.
Crikey! Cate Blanchett has finally fallen prey to the teapot's allure in this photo from 2007. Noooooo.
Why, Marion Cotillard…whyyyyyyyyyy?!?!? Right before she won the Oscar for Best Actress, Maid Marion is seen here, looking like she's full of Earl Grey. So sad, but by 2008, a good 95% of actresses have teapotitis.
This is probably why Julie Christie lost the Oscar to Cotillard. She refused to fall in line with the rest of the tea service. I smell a conspiracy!!!

[All images via The Official Oscar Website]

ANTM: Commercial! Couture! Catalog!

Tracie — Thu, 20 Mar 2008 11:00:00 EDT

On last night's episode, posing instructor Benny Ninja (why doesn't he have an official title like "Diva Runway Coach Extraordinaire" or "Noted Fashion Photographer"?) taught the girls about commercial, couture and catalog modeling. Many of them couldn't seem to tell the difference between the three, and frankly, neither could I. I know that couture is "weird", and commercial and catalog seemed identical to me, other than the fact that one of them seems to involve checking the time on an invisible watch. Oh, the other awesome thing last night was when Dominique accused Whitney of being racist. (Note to Dominique: Just because someone is a bitch to a person of color, it doesn't count as racist sentiment unless the remark is actually racial.) Whitney's reaction was priceless: "My best friend is black!" I couldn't help but think she was referring to Tyra. Suck up.