• Amy Winehouse was supposedly in the hospital because she was sick, but now her dad says:

"It wasn't because she had a cold. She's fine, she just had a little [pointing to his chest] leaky something or other." All together now: What kind of fuckery is this? [The Sun]

• Mariah Carey is supposed to turn on the Christmas lights at a shopping mall in London, and has asked for 20 white kittens and 100 white doves as well as confetti shaped like butterflies to shower her after she emerges from a Rolls-Royce driven on a pink carpet to a podium where she will wave a wand to turn on the lights. A source says: "We did manage to source the doves that we were going to release into the sky, but the kittens proved terribly difficult. In the end, it was made clear that due to health and safety, there was no way we could have the animals." [Telegraph]
• Brad Pitt declined an invitation to the October 31 Grand Prix Ball Abu Dhabi in the United Arab Emirates — even though he was offered $5 million to attend. He went trick-or-treating with his kids instead. [MSNBC Scoop]
• Levi Johnston "made a big show" of sitting in first class. [Page Six]
• Kirsten Dunst is windswept on the cover of Allure, and inside she says that she and ex-boyfriend Jake Gyllenhaal do not keep in touch: "It would be nice to see him," she says. "But we're not good friends." [Us Magazine via Allure]
• In this Q&A, Twilight director Catherine Hardwicke talks about casting Robert Pattinson as Edward, the "electricity" between Rob and Kristen Stewart when they auditioned for her, the sexytimes the cast got into ("You have this hot, young cute sexy cast and you're out of town at hotels. It's going to happen") and her encouraging RPattz to work out: "He's a Brit and they hit the pubs all the time. They don't look too kindly to gyms." She also says that when he first got cast, there were pix of him out and looking like a slob, and fans of the book were upset that he was Edward Plus: "One day he came to me and said, I got this email forwarded to me about how revolting I am. I said, Rob, you cannot read these things. Don't torture yourself. And he said, I didn't. My mother forwarded that to me." [Time]
• Robert Pattinson was at a signing, where "you kind of get 10 seconds with each person and you never really say anything and I kind of got bored of saying, 'Hey, how are you doing?'" So then: "[A fan] said in her 10 seconds, 'What can I do to get your attention?' I was like um, just take your clothes off." What do you think happened? "She stood there and frantically started taking her clothes off and got dragged out of the room by security. I never felt more terrible." [People]
• Is Nicolas Cage broke because of bad judgment? Or because he lived in a house with bad juju? The manager Cage sued in October countersued last week, claiming he warned Cage not to buy castles in England and Bavaria and that Cage ignored him. The guy claims he told Cage he would need to earn $30 million a year to maintain his lifestyle. But! Cage once owned the notorious LaLaurie House in New Orleans, where a doctor and his wife tortured slaves. According to legend, "Many people have lived there since, but every inhabitant moved out within months or suffered tragedy and death." [Page Six]
• Oprah Winfrey's sit-down with Sarah Palin was the highest rated Oprah show in two years… since the entire Osmond family appeared in 2007. [MSNBC Scoop]
• "Victoria Beckham Loves Sex and Salad, Not Burgers." [Us Magazine]
• Asked if she prefers sleep or sex in an interview with Allure, Posh responded: "Sex! I'm getting into bed with David Beckham every night, so, you know, there'd be something wrong if I said 'sleep.'" [The Sun]
• Taylor Swift is suing a sports bar for using her music without permission. [TMZ]
• Janet Jackson's label is putting a lot of effort and cash into promoting her greatest hits album, because they quietly signed her to a new contract next month. [Gatecrasher]
• Leighton Meester needs a doctor who makes house calls. Don't we all? [Gatecrasher]
• Carrie Prejean has been asking Donald Trump for advice; he suggests: "she should become a major porn star, make millions of dollars, and give it to worthy causes." [Page Six]
• Countess LuAnn de Lesseps is dating author Coerte Felske, a "handsome blond," who will be in Real Housewives Of NYC. [Page Six]
• Will Ferrell is Hollywood's most overpaid star, thanks to Land Of The Lost, which cost $100 million and made "only" $65 million. Surely he is trapped in a glass box of emotion right now. [Reuters]
• Brad Whitford, guitarist in Aerosmith, thinks Steven Tyler might be on something: "I suspect there's a lot more going on than we know about. He has a well-documented history of drug abuse, and I find myself very suspicious. I haven't seen him do this or ... have any personal knowledge, but the isolation is very typical of addictive behavior, and his — what I call — irrational behavior." [Reuters]
• Shaquille O'Neal is curating his first art show, titled 'Size DOES Matter.'" [Page Six]
• 50 Cent has opted for tattoo removal. "I took 'em off," he says. I've been on a few acting projects and they been making me get up… My call time is four hours before the regular acting talent because of the tattoos. I've got a project I'm supposed to be doing with Nicolas Cage, called The Dance, it's a boxing film… when you're a fighter you're sweating and with a whole bunch of make-up on and stuff like that, it doesn't look real to me." [MSNBC]
• Jennifer Hudson will play Winnie Mandela in an upcoming film; she says: "I was compelled and moved when I read the script. Winnie Mandela is a complex and extraordinary woman, and I'm honored to be the actress asked to portray her." Of course, she will also do what she does best: Sing the flick's theme song. [Gatecrasher via Variety]
• Heather Locklear's return to Melrose Place gave the ratings a small boost, so she'd better not end up dead in the pool. [NY Post]
• Sherri Shepherd and MVP are so on. [Gatecrasher]
• Joe Francis has tax problems. Serious tax problems. The IRS wants $33,819,087.14 [TMZ]
• Wait, Faye Dunaway owes $1920 in back rent? How much is her rent? How many months is that? [TMZ]
• Hamish Hamilton, who directed the MTV Video Music Awards, will direct the 2010 Academy Awards. Kanye's gonna let him finish… [MSNBC Scoop]
• Zsa Zsa Gabor is okay, her husband insists. "My wife is not dying — it is ridiculous… he gets all the tabloids and she sees the things and she just smiles. She says, 'Tell them I'm still alive.'" [ET]
• "[I decided to do the Tonight Show because of] how shitty it is just trying to develop comedy right now. How dumb ideas are seeming to be rewarded. How a lot of the networks seem to have basically thrown in the towel on comedy and said ‘We just basically don't know what we're doing or what works,' and we just kind of have more stuff where the dad's kind of a jerk, the mom knows best, and everybody just kind of insults each other for half an hour and at the end everybody says they love each other and tune in next week for it all to start again." — Andy Richter. [NY Mag]
• "I was always aware of acting. I remember watching movies on TV when I was young, thinking, 'Oh, come on, that isn't acting.'" — John Malkovich. [Spectator]
• "I've never seen it and nor will I ever. It's a cult. I don't believe in it." — Miley Cyrus, on Twilight. [MSNBC]
• "After we were done, I was like, 'Wow, America is so poor. Just the towns you come across — all that's there are restaurants and gas stations. There are beautiful stretches of pasture, but for the most part, people live simply. The East and West Coast are so different from the rest of America." — Kirsten Dunst and a friend took an "eye-opening cross-country road trip. [Us Magazine via Allure]
• "Having a girlfriend is like playing whiffle ball. Being married is the war in Iraq." — Jerry Seinfeld. [Page Six]
• "There are females doing it, theatrical and a bit over the top. Lady Gaga, Pink, Christina Aguilera — they all put on a show in the spirit of Madonna, dressing up and creating a theme. But there hasn't been a guy do it for a while. In the '70s and '80s there were a lot of artists that did it but for some reason it kind of fizzled out." — Adam "Glambert" Lambert. [Reuters]
• "That image to me seemed really striking and kind of wild. I felt I looked almost inhuman. It was that whole David Bowie-Ziggy Stardust thing where you think he is an alien. It is a weird image and I liked that it was weird. I am weird. I'm nice. But I'm weird. Maybe eccentric is a better word. I'll pick that label." — Glambert, on his album cover. [Reuters]
• "It's funny because Spanish people have no problem with nudity at all… And English people obviously do have the most enormous problem with it. Little things, like when I saw my father getting changed for swimming, I was traumatized by it… I kind of freaked out a bit. [I would get naked for a role but] I think it would depend on what it is. And I don't think a lot of people would really want to see that. I think it would ruin the illusion!" — Robert Pattinson. [NY Daily News]
• "Luke and I are engaged and we'll get married when I want to. But he isn't even 21 yet, so he can't drink in America, so what's the point in getting married until he can?" — good point, Kelly Osbourne. [The Sun]

• Could Anne Hathaway be taking Posh's gig as Marc Jacobs' favored campaign model? [Daily Mail]

• Derek Lam, like Rodarte and Zac Posen, just shot his first advertising campaign. For fall, expect to see Solve Sundsbo shots of Karmen Pedaru wearing Lam's wares, walking down a beach. [WWD]
• Retailers hoping for a boost in sales, or even just foot traffic, courtesy of the Topshop opening weekend melee, were disappointed. SoHo businesses found that while people were willing to line up for almost two hours to enter Topshop, once they'd achieved that goal, they didn't feel moved to shop anywhere else. [Crain's]
• Miranda July, the filmmaker and writer, will get married in a specially-made Rodarte dress. Which I am already coveting, even in absence of any photos. [WWD]
• Could Olivier Theyskens — who was essentially fired from both Rochas and Nina Ricci for making clothes that were intricate and critically successful but didn't actually sell — be on his way to Halston? American sportswear seems a less than likely berth after being found "too editorial" for Paris. But Halston needs a designer, and some people are saying that the talented Belgian gothic visionary...no, this is just too ridiculous. [Hint]
• Not only will Roberto Cavalli smile and make nice with Ittierre, the Italian licensee that the designer savaged after its move into receivership forced him to cancel his Just Cavalli fall show, for the remainder of their contract — Cavalli is reportedly close to extending that contract another five years, to 2015. Cavalli is in talks to sell a minority stake in his business, and a trouble-free relationship with his diffusion line's licensee might make such an interest more attractive to potential buyers. [WWD]
• Ann Taylor isn't the picture of financial health just now. The company lost $334 million last year, its revenues shrank by 9%, and 160 of its stores are to close. At its head offices, 19% of the staff has already been laid off. Same-store sales were down 29% in the fourth quarter, and its stock price hit a 52-week low last month. So clearly it's the right time for CEO Kay Krill to receive a 14% pay raise, to $7.84 million. [Crain's]
• The retail sector as a whole rose 5.8% in last week's stock trading; some experts hope this means the worst is over. [WWD]
• Stores giving away money: officially a thing now. [WWD]
• Alexa Chung, who is a former model and a current British TV presenter, is moving to New York to further her television career. Last time this happened, it didn't go so well, but Chung can actually write, so I say, fuck the haters. Welcome to Brooklyn! [Grazia]
• Snotty designers like Vera Wang, Donna Karan, and Oscar de la Renta complained to WWD about how Michelle Obama isn't wearing their clothes. "You don't go to Buckingham Palace in a sweater," said de la Renta. [WWD]

• People love Posh's dresses. Net-a-porter.com sold out in one day, and Posh herself stopped by Neiman Marcus to instruct sales associates and top customers in the ways of the frock. Thirty pieces were sold. [WWD]

• Roberto Cavalli yesterday said that he will show Just Cavalli in Milan — albeit not on the runway. Following the bankruptcy of the diffusion line's primary licensee, Itierre, Just Cavalli's future was in doubt, despite the fact that the expanding chain has stores scheduled to open this year. But the designer says that he will show Just Cavalli to a select group of editors at showroom appointments tomorrow, before making an announcement about the future of the brand. Surely there must be a manufacturer somewhere willing to produce the brand. [FWD]
• The gist of this story is: Michelle Obama. Still wearing clothes. There, I saved you three minutes. [WWD]
• Saks is troubled. After holding 75% off sales all last November and December — a situation the company CEO says "you'll probably never see again" — it still had to lay off workers in the new year. And in leading the deep-discounting department store pack last winter, Saks achieved the triple whammy of pissing off its vendors — who didn't appreciate their wares getting the TJ Maxx treatment from a trusted name — losing $98.75 million of company money in three months, and spawning endless trend stories about whether consumers will ever be duped into paying $700 for a pair of pumps again (the magic eight ball says: not any time soon). Well, the CEO held an investor conference call and said some reassuring things that made the share price jump almost 13%; then the CFO happened to mention that, worst case scenario, the company does own some very nice real estate. Which it could sell. Presumably not at 75% off. [NY Times]
• Halle Berry and Jenna Jameson launched namesake perfumes in the same week. Weird. [Beauty Counter]
• In other news of celebrities who want a piece of the retail maelstrom, there's a certain pink-haired Canadian pop-punk sprite who would like to sell you her pajamas. They're black and neon all over, and have some weird-looking lace insertion-looking parts to the top. Not that anyone would dare call her complicated. [The Life Files]
• Scarlett Johanson, the face of D&G makeup, is a safe bet at the Dolce & Gabbana show in Milan on Monday. [WWD]
• Adam Lippes' Mango diffusion line goes on sale March 1. The women's clothes seem to exhibit a nice sense of proportion, and there are some potentially cool black strappy not-too-gladiator-looking sandals. But there are men's wear looks styled with notched-lapel jackets and — wait for it — dress shorts. I just don't know how to feel about that. [Racked]
• Not battening down the hatches are the Olsen twins, whose contemporary Elizabeth and James line is moving into men's wear. Their other label, The Row, has a men's wear division that has proved very popular very quickly. [WWD]
• Speaking of the Olsens, their Elizabeth and James shoes are about to launch, and will go on sale through Steve Madden stores. Although there is no pricing information as of yet, they'll be significantly more expensive than Steve Madden's other wares. [FabSugar]
• Moise de la Renta, who I am pretty sure does not have a degree in communications, does have a fashion line. MDLR, announced last summer, is finally here. [Style.com]
• Should you ever want to imitate the shiny corpse lip some of the models wore at Marc Jacobs, key makeup artist for the show François Nars explains how. It involves putting eyeshadow on your lips. [NY Times]
• True Religion posted double-digit sales and earnings increases for all of 08 — and the fourth quarter. [WWD]
• Old Navy is chasing the "quirky" 25-35-year-old customer. Its new campaign features a flier that looks like a mock celebrity magazine, and they would like to remind everyone they sell clothes for $5 and $10. [AP]
• Fourth quarter profit for the Limited brands fell 96% on last year. At least they still had a fourth quarter profit! [AP]
• The sound of Karl Lagerfeld's taste dying is a low, battery-powered hum. Which reaches a top speed of 12 mph! The Chanel Segway, a thing you can buy, is here. [The Cut]

[Milan, December 21. Image via INFDaily.]

Milan, December 20. Image via Flynet.

London, November 30. Image via INF.

London, November 8. Image via Flynet.

• Oh dear: Lindsay Lohan's Ugly Betty episodes were cut from six to four. A source says: "It was a mess. Lindsay would show up every day with an entourage of people. She smoked 24/7, and after she left, they had to repaint her dressing room it was such a mess." Plus! in a scene where Betty is supposed to pull down Lindsay's pants, America Fererra did and LL wasn't wearing underwear. But! A different source says "America was mean to Lindsay. Producers give her too much power. Lindsay didn't do the last two episodes because America didn't like her and got her kicked off." Drama! [Page Six]
• Victoria "Posh Spice" Beckham is on the cover of Vogue India dressed as an Indian bride in a sari. There's a joke here about currying favor, right? [The Sun]
• Beyoncé would like for you to call her Sasha Fierce. Her new double album will be called I Am… Sasha Fierce. She explains: "I have someone else that takes over when it's time for me to work and when I'm on stage, this alter ego that I've created that kind of protects me and who I really am. Sasha Fierce is the fun, more sensual, more aggressive, more outspoken side and more glamorous side that comes out when I'm working and when I'm on the stage." It's call compartmentalization. Look into it. [Reuters]
• Ali Lohan didn't go to her grandfather's funeral because she didn’t have time to get her hair extensions done the day before and didn’t want anyone to see what horrible hair she has. [ONTD]

• Madonna may give Guy an extra £5million if she can dictate when he gets to see the kids. [Daily Mail]
• Guy Ritchie was "in pieces" after seeing that picture of Rocco Ritchie in a Yankees T-shirt. "He's actually been crying over it," says a source on the set of Sherlock Holmes. "He's in a terrible state but is doing his best to be on form at work." [Us]
• Some model named Tania with 37 inch legs has claimed she continued seeing Guy Ritchie after he dumped her for Madonna... Plus, some say Madonna never got over her fear that Guy secretly liked Tania better. [The Sun]
• Michael Madsen was removed from his home Monday after a family member became frightened of his behavior. He was taken to the hospital on a 5150 (involuntary psychiatric hold, the same as Britney, back in January). [TMZ]
• Mary-Kate and Ashley were on Oprah talking about boys. They support each other's choices, Mary-Kate explains. "If she doesn't like him, I won't like him. If she likes him, I'll like him." [People]
• Adrien Brody bought a motherfucking castle. There are pictures. The poster describes girlfriend Elsa Pataky, whom he blindfolded and surprised the castle with on her birthday, as a "lucky bitch." Agreed. [ONTD]
• Matt Lucas of Little Britain got a quickie divorce from partner Kevin McGee. The first celebrity gay divorcee? [Daily Mail]
• Ellen DeGeneres has stuff to say about Sarah Palin: "Basically, she wants to change the Constitution. I don't like it. I don't agree! And maybe it's because I'm gay that I think we should all be equal." [People]
• Bare tires and debris on the runway could be the cause of the plane crash that killed four people and injured Travis Barker and DJ AM. [People]
• Jessica Alba shows off her kid- and eco-friendly house in In Style magazine. [People]
• Justin Timberlake teamed up with the Jonas Brothers, Rihanna, 50 Cent, Leona Lewis and others for a fundraiser for the Shriners' Hospitals for Children. How did he get everyone to participate? "I actually wrote letters," Justin says. "I was old fashioned. I didn't have to stalk anyone." The benefit raised more than $1 million. [People]
• George Takei calls William Shatner's YouTube rant "silliness." Takei says he did invite Shatner to his wedding, but that Shatner never replies or shows up for stuff. [ET, Daily Express]
• Julianne Hough was rushed to the hospital on Tuesday after Dancing With The Stars but she says "I'm fine." She just had a bad stomach ache. Before going to the hospital, she changed out of her Lucy costume but forgot to take off her over-drawn lipstick. "I was like whatever; I’m sure they see a lot worse there.” [People]
• Dominic Monaghan will be on Chuck, in his first major TV gig since Lost. Click for an interview with Charlie from Drive Shaft! [EW]
• Halle Berry bought a house in St. Hippolyte, Quebec, for her, the baby, and boyfriend Gabriel Aubry. It's a humble abode on 63 acres overlooking the Molson Lake. And peut-être le bébé will speak Français, oui? [Perez Hilton]
• 50 Cent has finally reached an agreement over visitation rights for his 11-year-old son. He gets one weekend a month and one month in the summer, plus half of spring and winter breaks and alternating holidays. [Perez Hilton]
• Prime Minister Gordon Brown had to explain to Nelson Mandela who Amy Winehouse was at Mandela's 90th birthday. Harder to explain: Why Amy was singing "Free Blakey, my fella" instead of "Free Nelson Mandela." [Telegraph]
• Eminem's memoir delves into his personal struggles: "Rap is one big Fantasy Island," Eminem writes. "It’s the place I always retreat to when things get too hectic in real time… If you go back and look at the abuse that I took, it’s no surprise I became who I am. Someone I don’t really want to be." [NY Times]
• Is Cloris Leachman "sucking the life" out of Dancing With The Stars? [TMZ
• Lil Wayne is the father of a new son, Dwayne Carter III. The identity of the mother is not known. 26-year-old Wayne also has an 8-year-old daughter [Us]
• Harrods owner Mohamed Al Fayed (father of the late Dodi) has been questioned by police over allegations of a sexual assault on a girl under 16. He vehemently denies the claims. [BBC News]
• Gavin Rossdale says Kingston's been bullying baby Zuma: "It’s mainly a one-sided fight right now because Zuma’s pretty defenseless. But he’s not a small baby, so I think that Kingston’s got a couple years left and then he’s gonna get in trouble." [Just Jared]
• Benji Madden was seen hugging a random blonde and kissing her on the cheek; the headline is "Benji Cheats On Paris!" [Star]
• Despite reports that Zac Efron would be in the fourth Pirates Of the Caribbean movie, he has not been cast. Zac says: "It's just a rumor." [People]
• As reported in Midweek Madness, Mandy Moore has stopped speaking to her mother, who left Mandy's dad for a woman. "When Mandy's mom came out as a lesbian… Mandy felt betrayed," a source says. "[She] feels as if she's been lied to her entire life." [Star]
• Peaches Geldof has been "hard at work" refining her American accent. "Her conversation is littered with the words 'dude' and 'like.'" Plus! She told people she was married in "Nevada, Texas." [Daily Mail]
• Usher will perform at the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show, which will be taped at Fontainebleau Miami Beach and broadcast Dec. 3 on CBS. Expect to see Heidi Klum, Alessandra Ambrosio, Selita Ebanks, Doutzen Kroes, Adriana Lima, Marisa Miller, Miranda Kerr and more strut in skimpy, ridiculous lingerie. [UPI]
• Speaking of Usher, word is his marriage on the rocks. [StereoHyped]
• Ouch, Jack White pulled out of the MTV Europe Music Awards after slipping a disc in his neck. A source says, "Jack’s still in a lot of pain. He hoped it would have cleared by now but the injury is refusing to heal." This could affect his plans to promote his Bond theme with Alicia Keys, boo. [The Sun]
• Annie Leibovitz says that when she shot the Queen a while back, "We were all very nervous. The Queen came down the hall and she looked a little perturbed. I knew something was up." She also notes: "We have to remember her age and she was wearing a 75lb cloak." [Telegraph]
• Spotted having lunch at New York media's fave restaurant, Michael's: Heather Mills and Page Six's Richard Johnson. [mediabistro]
• Pretend to be Daniel Craig with the Quantum Of Solace video game. [Independent]
• Former Atomic Kitten singer Kerry Katona slurred her words and had a "meltdown" on live TV earlier this week; now this paper has videos of the "Top 10 Celebrity Meltdowns." [Mirror]
• Rosie O'Donnell will star and executive produce a Lifetime Original Movie called America: the powerful story of one boy's emotional struggle through the foster care system. [PR Newswire]
• Curb Your Enthusiasm will be back for a seventh season. [Ain't It Cool News]
• Speaking of Larry David, he's written an essay for HuffPo about how he can't wait for November 4th. "I'm anxious all the time and taking it out on my ex-wife, which, ironically, I'm finding enjoyable… Five times a day I'll still say to someone, 'I don't know what I'm going to do if McCain wins.' … I'm paranoid, obsessive, nervous, and totally mental." [Huffington Post]
• "I feel like they tolerate me... like when you're burdened with something unpleasant and you cope with it. There's always, 'Oh, look at you — you don't like to wear dresses!' But they say it in such a nice way that, for the first 10 years, I guess I was like, 'Oh, how nice, even though I don't dress like them, they still like me.' It's good to be dumb because you don't get hurt. They are nice, they're honest. You know where you stand. And I do appreciate that. But (when they said) 'Oh, you have your own style,' I think after that one (comment) I was like, 'Oh, I get it now - you don't like anything about me.'" — Lisa Kudrow, on her French in-laws. [Daily Express]
• "I have been in relationships that can make you doubt who you are and what you are capable of, and doubt what you deserve. It took me a bit little longer to get it right." — Jennifer Lopez. [People]
• "We've met a couple times and he is good-looking, yes. But personality? Hmmm. He could work on it." — Susan Francia, Olympic rower, on Michael Phelps. [Page Six]
• "I've reached the time of life where father roles are coming my way and they're a hell of a lot more interesting than young lovers." — Colin Firth [The Star]

• Oh sweet Jesus: There are reports that Victoria Beckham will serve as the stylist on Tom Cruise's new movie, The Hardy Boys. [Fashionista]
  
• It's confirmed: The all-black Italian Vogue cover shot by Steven Meisel is a go and Jordan Dunn is set to star. [Vogue UK]
  
• Claire Danes: The new face of Gucci jewelry. Says Gucci creative director Frida Giannini: "Claire Danes is a modern icon...[Her] sensual, confident beauty and her passionate, independent and strong character embodies today's Gucci woman." Also, Claire Danes always looks totally bored by everything. Just saying. [WWD, 1st item]
  
• Lindsay Lohan is the face of Visa's new glorified Salvation Army stores where old clothing can be swapped for other people's old clothing. How far she has fallen. [WWD, 5th item]

• Yay for the Humane Society for demanding for revised (meaning, honest) labeling practices for fur garments. [WWD, sub req'd]
• Barneys New York creative director/ my imaginary best friend Simon Doonan on the infamously red-soled Chrisitan Louboutin shoes: "Christian's shoes are like the circus coming into town. Louboutins are a total drug and there is no methadone." [WWD, 2nd item]
• Start counting down now: The McGraw by Tim McGraw fragrance enters drugstores in August. [WWD, sub req'd]
• Model Maggie Rizer wants to open up a doggy day care center and spa in New York's West Village. Of course she does. [WWD, sub req'd]
• Salma Hayek has been named the godmother of Puma's ocean-racing team. [Fashion Week Daily]

• Skincare guru Dr. Murad says that "being isolated isn't good for you." Is he saying that it's unhealthy that I work by myself from my couch watching Bravo reality shows all day? [BellaSugar]
• Maria Sharapova: Scared of Anna Wintour, and with good reason. [Page Six]
• Looks like Richie Rich and Trevor Rains' Heatherlette label has finally gone belly up. [NY Daily News]
• The new John Varvatos store in the old CBGB's space still smells like piss, beer and cigarettes. [NY Daily News]
• Africa: It's like totally inspiring. And fashionable. [Houston Chronicle]
• No shit! Celebs are good for selling products. [Forbes]
• Why hold out for the new iPhone when you can hold out for the new Prada phone? [Guardian]
• Why must Agyness Deyn continue to insist on her own importance? [NY Mag]

[West Hollywood, April 2. Image via Flynet.]

[Los Angeles, CA; Mar 23. Image via INFdaily.com]

• Who will win the Council of Fashion Designers of America's Womenswear Designer of the Year award, the "Best Picture" of fashion? The nominees are: Marc Jacobs, Francisco Costa of Calvin Klein, and Lazaro Hernandez and Jack McCollough of Proenza Schouler (who tied last year with Oscar de la Renta.) Bets? [WWD, sub req'd]
  
• Oooh and Fran Lebowitz will emcee the awards themselves on June 2. [Fashion Week Daily]
  
• Ok, so now Waris Dirie is saying she was abducted and assaulted while she was missing in Brussels. And treated like "prostitute" by police. She originally said she was just, like, lost. Her manager says she was in shock. [Telegraph, Yahoo]
  
• And what is Erin Fetherston's latest short film about? "Zooey [Deschanel] plays a tramp who eats a magic mushroom and finds herself with a group of fairies." Of course she does. [Fashion Week Daily]
  
• Whoah is Posh going to guest-design for Roland Mouret? Whoah. [Fashionista]

• Model Erin O'Connor sprained her ankle! Why God created blogs: "The thought of not being able to wear teetering heels for a sustainable period fills me with dread! Think of a vicar without a dog collar...a bus driver without a bus??? Eek, you know elevation and a well-turned ankle are all essential requirements in this job. I suppose, to look on the bright side one doesn't need one's heels to write one's blog on the laptop." [Vogue UK]
• Another woman takes the reigns at a fashion design house: Hannah MacGibbon, 38, will debut her first collection as lead designer for Chloe this October in Paris. [WWD]
• ELLE's creative director Joe Zee is getting his own column in the ladymag, entitled "Style A to Zee." Ha ha ha how terribly clever! But yet, also familiar! Oh, right. [Fashion Week Daily]
• Victoria Beckham: Frowns on skinny jeans for men. [DNR]
• Helena Christensen is going to be "designing" for Tocca. And by that they mean she's going to "recreate" an old design of theirs and put her name on it. [WWD, sub req'd]
• What did Donna Karan give her daughter Gaby for her birthday? A bicycle! How...Donna Karan of her! [Fashion Week Daily]
• This month Madonna is styled as a boxer for the cover of the new, improved Interview magazine...and she's also styled as a boxer for the cover of Dazed & Confused. Huh. [Chic Report]
• Victoria's Secret latest beauty line seems to be aimed at teens. Um, as opposed to everything else they sell? [BellaSugar]
• Ksubi denim founder George Gorrow thinks the internet is "kind of a crock." Cosign. [Sassybella]

[Century City, California; March 4. Image via x17]

• Uh oh! Yet another fashion thief is on the prowl, and this time he is targeting Victoria Beckham. Posh's dressing room was ransacked and two pairs of shoes costing $11,500 each, as well as a red silk Roberto Cavalli robe saying "Mrs. Beckham" on the front and "Posh" on the back were amongst the stolen goods. We're picturing some fashion larceny version of Antiques Roadshow wherein the thief's great-nephew finds out his gay uncle's shoes once retailed for $11,500... [Page Six]
  
• Officials with London Fashion week will begin doing "spot checks" on models' health starting with the Fall 2008 shows, which start in London on February 15. Auditors will be hired to be on the lookout for drugs, girls under the age of 16, and health certificates claiming that they're not like anorexic or whatever. [WWD, sub req'd]
  
• Natalie Portman, being the good little indie hipster intellectual that she is, will be designing a line of vegan shoes for label Te Casan. [Sassybella]

• There's a Greta Garbo line of outerwear? [WWD, 2nd item]
• Tim Gunn: Promises to make Liz Claiborne not suck anymore and to prove to all the doubting Thomases that he's not just a pretty reality TV face. Says Gunn, "My respect for the real world has grown while I've realized how daunting the industry is." [WWD, sub req'd]
• Bags mocking the Anya Hindmarch "I'm Not A Plastic Bag" bag are beginning to annoy us almost as much as the object of their mockery. [FabSugar]
• The Roberto Cavalli Spring 2008 ad campaign stars Kate Moss, Daria Werbowy and Eva Herzigova. It also makes very little sense. [Sassybella]
• Victoria's Secret is totally in bed with Gossip Girl, filling the show with product placement galore. Do real Manhattan prep school kids even know where Victoria's Secret is? [WWD, 2nd item]
• The Christmas tree at the Victoria & Albert museum in London was designed by English fashion house Boudicca. [Vogue UK]