I dunno, ya'll . . . if you go over to Fleshbot, sitting right there is the description "There is still something deeply sexy about watching a freshly churned load of fuck butter drool out of the bright pink insides of a properly serviced young tart."
Suddenly, "He spilled his seed into her womanhood." actually sounds kind of nice.
Even though, I think there's while we're supposed to be mocking bad erotica or bad sex scenes that are obviously trying to be erotic, sometimes these lists take sex scenes that were never meant to be erotic in the first place- it is possible to write about sex where there are emotions involved that don't include love/infatuation and insatiable lust.
Sex and art are both extremely objective--one person's Best Book EVAH is one person's backup TP, just as one person's Sex God is another person's...sex anti-Christ? Whatever the opposite of Sex God is. I think that's why people are so fussy about their sex writing: it's a double-dose of the things people are most opinionated about.
However, I will say the Anita Blake book where they used soap as a vaginal lubricant will forever be the worst sex writing ever. I almost got a yeast infection just reading that.
The mark of a good sex scene is the well-chosen detail, and the hardest part of being a writer is limiting yourself to those few details, and the hardest part of being a good writer is choosing the right details.
We all know how sex works, so a play-by-play is usually boring. By the time we realize a sex scene is happening between the characters, we've already got it unfolding in our heads, so what we need is those details to tack onto it, to make it unique.
Other pointers- we all know it feels good. There are other ways of conveying pleasure than saying it feels good or using really convoluted metaphors. A line or two of good dialogue can break up the too-tight condensed nature of some sex scenes. Engage the five senses. And lastly, do the well-chosen details. If you haven't reduced your original sex scene's length by half after editing, you have more work to do.
This reminds me- I haven't read a really good erotic book in a long time. I'm taking recommendations!
@cand86: I chose to write a sex scene for the novel I'm working on--and it's YA, which complicates things a bit (though there are way less "rules" for the genre than there used to be).
What I did before getting started was ask every single writer/author I knew or was Facebook friends with if they had any advice.
It was definitely scary to write--not in the least because I was raised Catholic, which leads to a whole bunch of other issues. I've gotten good feedback on it, though, and I got a writing residency based on the scene, so I guess it went well.
But yeah, writing sex is TOUGH. Not sure when I'm gonna tackle it (pun intended) again.
@sybann: Don't you think that writing REAL erotic erotica is a problem because we all find different things arousing.
That too. But maybe it's even harder to write like Literary sex scenes because readers also expect them to be, um, Literary? Though I don't know if there's any point in distinguishing between Literature and erotica, or between literature and genre fiction, etc. -- but that's another post.
@Anna N.: See, I think if you're putting a sex scene in your literature and not fading to black then you might as well go whole hog on it and skip the literary pretensions. They just come off as well, pretentious and off-putting. A good sex scene winds the reader up into the world of the book and engages them in what's going on. A bad sex scene takes them right out of the magic and leaves them snickering and pointing out hilarious parts to friends. If you're not 100% sure you're doing it right, then don't do it at all.
I've gotta say, I can't think of anything that makes me happier about a book than a surprise well written sex scene. I actually know for a FACT one of the books I read this year had a sex scene that surprised me but was really good, I just can't freaking remember which book.
No joke: I have on my desk, at this very moment, a copy of Speed Dating, which is from Harlequin's NASCAR line of books (this is also not a joke). Long story, but a co-worker and I used to spend our breaks tallying the various embarrassing things written in the book, as well as some favorite lines. We didn't finish it, but here are some quotes!
"The door at her back and Mr. Muscle in front was the absolute definition of being stuck between a rock and a hard place."
"She was a dinky toy compared to his usual cars."
"He has a way with steak that no one can duplicate."
@hambonetoblerone: Oh, God, Harlequin NASCAR. I've never read any of them, but the concept alone makes me want to giggle like a little girl. I suppose I shouldn't laugh at other people's pleasures, but it's so terribly hard not to.
The military romances can also be rather hilarious. I only read Blaze regularly, but they publish several of those a year in that line. Single Special Forces guys seem to be in long supply. And of course, they're all looking for that special woman, who is doing some sort of social services work somewhere, just waiting to be swept off her feet.
@TheFormerJuneBronson: Even the titles are hilarious! If you go on the (labyrinthine) Harlequin website, some are just incredible, like, The Italian Count's Defiant Bride, or The Tycoon's Pregnant Mistress.
@hambonetoblerone: I don't know if it's still on the website, but their Online Reads Library Spice selection used to be this Victorian thing where a woman gets hired on as a prostitute for this men's club. It's...weird.
Miss Skittles' Handy Dandy Guide For Sex Writing
or
So You're Writing a Porno!
1. If you're going to write about sex, you bloody well better be able to actually use sex terms or at least adult metaphors for those terms. What are you, 12?
2. Choose your audience. Men and women will respond to different imagery, and younger people will want different things than older people. Writing for a younger audience you will want to follow step 3, for an older audience you may want to do the exact opposite.
3. She does not have "a flower" between her legs, it is not a "wetness" and he doesn't have a "hardness" and nobody has a "sex." Also, nobody has a "button" anywhere unless they are a robot, so putting his thumb on her button is not a magic recipe for ZOMG HAWT!!!
4. You're going to have to write about orgasms, which means you're going to need to know what one feels like and what actually happens during one. You can call it an "explosion of white hot light" or "waves of pleasure coming faster and faster" or "a climax" or even "cumming." I don't care, just don't make up something that is CLEARLY incorrect.
5. Think about how sex makes YOU feel. What goes through your head when you think of sex. Heat, light, waves crashing, and the idea of floating or rising up on something are excellent metaphors.
6. For the love of all that is sexy, ORAL SEX IS YOUR FRIEND, PEOPLE! I know it can be giggleworthy to talk about going down on a girl, but if you're going to write a realistic sex scene that includes a female orgasm, there should be some cunnilingus. You can dance around it a little bit, but the sexiest stories I've ever read were the ones that had lots of oral sex.
So, to recap, pretty good:
"As their passion increased, so did the intensity of his thrusts into her. She felt her body rise to meet his for passion as one of his hands wandered down her body seeking her clit between their bodies. He massaged her there as he thrust into her over and over, his cock pressing deep and filling her entirely. Suddenly, she felt a hot flash of light radiating from within and she felt momentarily as though she were floating above herself. As he reached his own climax, he shook and collapsed on top of her, their limbs intertwining with one another."
Not great:
"He took his organ in his hand and slid it deep into her depths, pumping in and out as she called his name louder and louder before reaching a pinnacle of pleasure."
Really, hilariously bad:
"He took his hard sex and put it in her soft sex and they had sex."
See, that wasn't so hard. In fact, I wrote all three of those scenes at work in like, 15 minutes with no outward appearance that I found anything I was doing to be particularly amusing. You can write this without giggling, people! It is not hard!
@InABook: I like when everybody gets some oral, but I'm extremely picky about my sex scenes. I like when orgasms are presented in a reasonably true fashion.
@InABook: Me too. I was glad when these started cropping up, as though fellatio was no longer too dirty to be in print. Also, female masturbation. It always drives me nuts when a romance is humming along with them both about to jump out of their respective skins, but nobody's masturbating. I don't know about other people, but it tends to be my remedy of first resort during those long sleepless nights.
In terms of his "erotic" writing, Philip Roth has a special place in my heart in Goodbye, Columbus with pre-coital dialogue between two characters. One asks the other: "You've done this before?" And the response is: "I just know. I read Mary McCarthy."
I had a couple of intended sex scenes in my own booky-wook, and I ended up just writing around it. Every time I started a sentence like, "His warm hand moved from its resting point on her belly and traveled down to her..." I just started banging my head against the wall. I agree that sex should be a part of literature, (and there's no reason it shouldn't be, well, sexy,) but until someone presents me with an example of doing it well, I'm just going to keep panning to the windows and skipping to the cigarette.
@rodmanstreet: An anime I was obsessed with in 8th grade comes to mind. I started watching some old episodes a few months back and was inspired to check out some fanfic. One of the ladies I found wrote a few absolutely beautifully done "erotic" short stories and one tragic and sexy longer story that remains unfinished, but I kind of like its unfinished state because it ends on a sad but realistic note.
Usually when I'm writing about sex, I'm so embarrassed about it that I end up writing really euphamism-heavy paragraphs that don't even really sound like they're about sex.
@morninggloria: Sounded like awkward first-time sex to me, and by "don't even really sound like they're about sex" I assume you mean your mister was premature?
06:50 PM
I'm glaring at you, Smeyer.
04:12 PM
Suddenly, "He spilled his seed into her womanhood." actually sounds kind of nice.
05:19 PM
that fleshbot description almost made me gag.
05:33 PM
03:53 PM
03:46 PM
03:30 PM
[news.bbc.co.uk]
If it makes me laugh more than the Nick Cave execerpt I'll be happy with that result!
03:27 PM
However, I will say the Anita Blake book where they used soap as a vaginal lubricant will forever be the worst sex writing ever. I almost got a yeast infection just reading that.
03:28 PM
03:59 PM
03:20 PM
We all know how sex works, so a play-by-play is usually boring. By the time we realize a sex scene is happening between the characters, we've already got it unfolding in our heads, so what we need is those details to tack onto it, to make it unique.
Other pointers- we all know it feels good. There are other ways of conveying pleasure than saying it feels good or using really convoluted metaphors. A line or two of good dialogue can break up the too-tight condensed nature of some sex scenes. Engage the five senses. And lastly, do the well-chosen details. If you haven't reduced your original sex scene's length by half after editing, you have more work to do.
This reminds me- I haven't read a really good erotic book in a long time. I'm taking recommendations!
04:43 PM
What I did before getting started was ask every single writer/author I knew or was Facebook friends with if they had any advice.
It was definitely scary to write--not in the least because I was raised Catholic, which leads to a whole bunch of other issues. I've gotten good feedback on it, though, and I got a writing residency based on the scene, so I guess it went well.
But yeah, writing sex is TOUGH. Not sure when I'm gonna tackle it (pun intended) again.
03:16 PM
Don't you think that writing REAL erotic erotica is a problem because we all find different things arousing.
03:25 PM
That too. But maybe it's even harder to write like Literary sex scenes because readers also expect them to be, um, Literary? Though I don't know if there's any point in distinguishing between Literature and erotica, or between literature and genre fiction, etc. -- but that's another post.
03:28 PM
03:39 PM
03:08 PM
03:07 PM
"The door at her back and Mr. Muscle in front was the absolute definition of being stuck between a rock and a hard place."
"She was a dinky toy compared to his usual cars."
"He has a way with steak that no one can duplicate."
03:36 PM
The military romances can also be rather hilarious. I only read Blaze regularly, but they publish several of those a year in that line. Single Special Forces guys seem to be in long supply. And of course, they're all looking for that special woman, who is doing some sort of social services work somewhere, just waiting to be swept off her feet.
03:49 PM
Ooh, now that I'm looking, they have writing guidelines, too! I always thought Harlequin was supposed to be tame, sexy-wise, but if you want to write for their "Spice" line of books, look what they ask for:
"All Spice Books should be engrossing stories about women's lives, relationships and whatever turns them on, woven through with several explicit sex scenes that have context within the plot. We expect writers to be graphic—using the kind of frank language typical of the genre—as well as daring, exploring any and all sexual situations, even ones considered "taboo." Please avoid euphemisms and clichés, and keep in mind that Spice Books are not traditional romances, nor do they require a happily-ever-after ending."
06:53 PM
03:02 PM
or
So You're Writing a Porno!
1. If you're going to write about sex, you bloody well better be able to actually use sex terms or at least adult metaphors for those terms. What are you, 12?
2. Choose your audience. Men and women will respond to different imagery, and younger people will want different things than older people. Writing for a younger audience you will want to follow step 3, for an older audience you may want to do the exact opposite.
3. She does not have "a flower" between her legs, it is not a "wetness" and he doesn't have a "hardness" and nobody has a "sex." Also, nobody has a "button" anywhere unless they are a robot, so putting his thumb on her button is not a magic recipe for ZOMG HAWT!!!
4. You're going to have to write about orgasms, which means you're going to need to know what one feels like and what actually happens during one. You can call it an "explosion of white hot light" or "waves of pleasure coming faster and faster" or "a climax" or even "cumming." I don't care, just don't make up something that is CLEARLY incorrect.
5. Think about how sex makes YOU feel. What goes through your head when you think of sex. Heat, light, waves crashing, and the idea of floating or rising up on something are excellent metaphors.
6. For the love of all that is sexy, ORAL SEX IS YOUR FRIEND, PEOPLE! I know it can be giggleworthy to talk about going down on a girl, but if you're going to write a realistic sex scene that includes a female orgasm, there should be some cunnilingus. You can dance around it a little bit, but the sexiest stories I've ever read were the ones that had lots of oral sex.
So, to recap, pretty good:
"As their passion increased, so did the intensity of his thrusts into her. She felt her body rise to meet his for passion as one of his hands wandered down her body seeking her clit between their bodies. He massaged her there as he thrust into her over and over, his cock pressing deep and filling her entirely. Suddenly, she felt a hot flash of light radiating from within and she felt momentarily as though she were floating above herself. As he reached his own climax, he shook and collapsed on top of her, their limbs intertwining with one another."
Not great:
"He took his organ in his hand and slid it deep into her depths, pumping in and out as she called his name louder and louder before reaching a pinnacle of pleasure."
Really, hilariously bad:
"He took his hard sex and put it in her soft sex and they had sex."
See, that wasn't so hard. In fact, I wrote all three of those scenes at work in like, 15 minutes with no outward appearance that I found anything I was doing to be particularly amusing. You can write this without giggling, people! It is not hard!
03:05 PM
03:06 PM
03:07 PM
03:11 PM
03:23 PM
03:24 PM
03:40 PM
03:00 PM
02:56 PM
03:04 PM
03:07 PM
03:10 PM
02:55 PM
That last sentence? Sex scene.
02:57 PM
03:01 PM
02:53 PM