Here's the truth: One night stands, outside of the sex part, are pretty awful. Especially if you need to use the bathroom or make a quick getaway or accidentally shit yourself because you didn't carefully consider what you were going to eat beforehand. See? Awful. And here's a tale to prove it.
I've never seen Frozen, so I am just going to assume the movie was one giant metaphor about bowel movements because this young lady's version of "Let It Go" just spoke to me. Interestingly enough, now that I think it's about poop, I actually want to see Frozen.
You're supposed to squat when you poop. Did you hear me? Squatting. While pooping. Is the way to do it. Not this hunching-over thing you're doing now which takes forever and is not nature's way. Everyone else has figured it out and you are the last person still retro-pooping, so let's get you on the right path.
Everybody— even Beyoncé — poops. Sometimes things do not go well. Let's discuss it.
End of summer got you down in the dumps? You're not alone. In fact, nowhere in America is it shittier right now than it is on Mississippi State's campus, where a roving band of feral female undergraduates are allegedly shitting all over the place in an attempt to impress their desired sorority with their prolific…
Here's a good reminder that your week could be going worse: A Utah woman, arrested for theft, is expected to poke through her own poop to recover a ring she apparently swallowed mid-getaway. Congrats, lady, you're a living cautionary tale.
Poop ruins everything. And at the Holiday Village Red Sea resort in Egypt, it's ruining everyone's vacations. Because British tourists (probably members of One Direction) are finding fun and merriment by relieving themselves of their lunch in the still blue waters of the resort pools. Is it a trend? Well, the hotel is…
If you are a woman who wears a thong, perhaps you have encountered a moment wherein upon removal of said thong, there is something which appears to be poop-like on the string. You know how to wipe; hygiene is a priority to you. This is no doubt poop-plexing. What is causing this scourge? And how to avoid it?
The ad world is rumbling about a new print campaign for Dulcolax, in which your constipated colon is represented by a round brown dungeon, and your turds as chocolate soft-serve prisoners. The tagline: "Only you can set them free."
Here at Jezebel dot com, we've been closely following the development of fecal transplants as a treatment for a variety of digestive ailments. Poop as a miracle cure! What's not to like? However, it's turning into a massive headache for the Food and Drug Administration.
A regional office of the Environmental Protection Agency is having a little difficulty protecting its own environment, as someone keeps using their hands or buttholes to leave human shit in the halls. Seriously.
Today's heart(and pants)warming story of sweet payback for someone who really had it coming is brought to you by The Muppet Movie, the internet, and one petite but brave Boston lady who likes to practice making scary monster voices in her spare time.
Remember Steve "Your Butt Is a Garbage Alley" Hickey from last week? Well, he's BACK! Already!!! With more butt stuff!!!!! You'd think that being made fun of by the entire nation for being an anus-obsessed weirdo who maybe doesn't know how sex works might cause a person to walk back their poo-themed anti-gay rhetoric,…
Today in butt news: Author Mary Roach (of Bonk and Stiff and Spook fame) has a new(ish) book out called Gulp: Adventures on the Alimentary Canal. In it, she explores some of the more fantastic and obscure truths about the human digestive system.
I'm not trying to stir up, er, poo, but I have to ask: How often do you really need to drop a deuce on a date? Isn't this precisely the sort of thing you would do before a date, like, as part of your whole getting ready for the date thing? Shit shower shave is not just for dudes, k? But a book out soon promises to…
One day, scientists were thinking about the sausage, a food item made from shoving bits of ground-up animal meat and bacteria into an intestine casing until it has the consistency and shape of a rather spry semi-erect phallus. The one thing missing from this delicacy, decided scientists, is baby shit.
Poop transplants—in which doctors take poop from one person and then put it directly into another person's butt—are a relatively new technology that can save lives. So it only makes sense that a human stool bank has opened to provide doctors with safe fecal matter from screened donors.
This advertisement for a new kind of "discreet protection from ABL" (Accidental Bowel Leakage) was spotted in an issue of Martha Stewart Living.
Dogs would rather defecate along the Earth's north-south axis line instead of the east-west axis, according to someone who had the time to study dog butt preferences.
Today marks a dark day in the annals of people who refuse to pick up after their dogs (or tethered goats — whatever you're into): Los Angeles has, with the New Year, instituted a ban on plastic grocery bags, meaning that L.A.-area residents will have to either provide their own bags or pay an extra ten cents for each…
