• Welfare workers report that girls in gangs are often raped by the male members of the gang as part of initiation, but many of them accept this as routine. "The girls think they are going to be protected by the gang if they have sex with one person but then they find there are more boys there," said Teresa Pointing, chief executive of In-volve, a charity that works with teen girls. • According to White House Press Secretary Robert Gibbs, Sasha and Malia Obama have not been vaccinated for swine flu. The vaccine is currently unavailable to the twogirls because they are not at high risk. • Doctor Patrick O'Brian recalls being shocked at the state of pregnant women in Uganda, a country that apparently has some of the worst maternal care in the world. In efforts to address this issue, he started a program with the University College Hospital in London that works to distribute medicine to women in need and offer pre and post-natal care to mothers. • Researchers have found that breast reduction surgery may have unexpected benefits. Through testing the removed tissue, doctors may be able to better identify patients at risk for breast cancer. Another upside to breast reduction? Decreased back pain and increased range of movement. • According to a new study, well-educated older women who live alone report a lower emotional well-being than breast cancer patients who live with a partner. •  A little girl from Brooklyn has made the news for a heartbreaking letter she wrote to Sasha and Malia Obama. Bianca's mother was shot several years ago by an abusive boyfriend, and the 6-year-old and her father are still struggling. In her letter, she begged for help for her family, and readers of the Daily News have been quick to respond. • Researchers have found that sperm itself - and not just the fluid it travels in - may transmit HIV to healthy cells. Doctors previously suspected that sperm could transmit the virus, but they were unable to prove this until recently. • A revealing new poll from the UK shows that 90% of expecting mothers are denied the choice as to where they will give birth. The vast majority of women in Britain are not offered the option to give birth at home or at a birthing center attended by a midwife. • The Daily Beast on sexism in nonprofits: "Charity is not allowed to use the same tools as business because society subconsciously regards it as female, and discriminates against it the same way it has historically discriminated against women." Read the rest of their interesting take on charity here. • Good news: The Saudi king has decided not to flog a female journalist charged with participation in a television show in which a man spoke publicly about his sex life. • Among women with BRCA1 and BRCA2 genes, breast cancer is diagnosed six years earlier than in previous generations. Doctors don't know if women are screened better today, or if hormonal and environmental factors are giving women cancer earlier. • Jury selection will begin today in the trial of the first 12 male members of the polygamist sect whose Yearning For Zion ranch was raided last year. Flora Jessop, who escaped the compound 15 years ago, said she's happy to see the men go on trial but, "What I'm upset the most about, I think, is the fact that none of the women have been indicted, as well. ... I think that the women were nothing but pimps on that compound and giving their daughters over to these perverts knowing what was going to happen to them." • A study by the National Center for Voice and Speech found that female teachers used their voices about 10 percent more than males when teaching and 7 percent more when not teaching. Female teachers speak louder than male teachers at work. All teachers spend more time talking than most professionals and are at a greater risk for hurting their voices. • Debbie Davis, 29, of Sunderland, England has been named Britain's top Avon saleswoman. She started selling the cosmetics when she was laid off five years ago and now she's making $408,000 a year. • 14-year-old Dutch girl Laura Dekker says she will wait until the school year is over to begin her attempt to become the youngest sailor to circumnavigate the globe. She had planned to head out in August but was stopped by authorities who said she was too young. The court is expected to rule on her case by Friday. • Elizabeth Edwards told a local news station that John Edwards said of their relationship, "Perhaps [it's] not the great love story that we hoped, but maybe a great love story nonetheless." Well, most great love stories don't involve the man possibly fathering a child with another woman. • After more than 120 years, the Beloit's girls reformatory school in Kansas closed for good in August. Before 1983 the institution often housed girls who hadn't committed criminal offenses, but were considered "incorrigible," "immoral," or had suffered abuse at home. Under some administrations, girls were punished with huge doses of vomit- and diarrhea-inducing castor oil, humiliated with forced hair clipping, or even sterilized. • After a "concerned citizen" in Yulee, Florida tipped the police that the Girls Gone Wild bus was in town, police organized an undercover investigation and arrested seven women who complied with the organizers' request that they "show their breasts so they could be photographed/filmed or so they could have their breasts spray painted. The women were charged with indecent exposure along with the bar's owner and two Girls Gone Wild employees, who were each charged with illegally operating a sexually oriented business. •

Good Morning America ran a preview of tonight's episode and the folks at ABC News were clearly excited that this week's ridiculous stunt involved the actors wearing elaborate prairie costumes. Though it's pointed out that the polygamists in Colorado City, AZ don't like outsiders, apparently they'd be willing to eat out at a local restaurant and talk loudly about the teenager's impending marriage. Luckily, several women step in to help the girl and unlike last week, anchor John Quinones doesn't attribute it to "one thing that's foolproof: A woman's tears." Clip at left.

• A new service from Japan offers users four different virtual "wives" to nag help remind dieters via email to stick to their weight loss goals. • A 60-year-old woman willingly faces excommunication from the Roman Catholic church as she pursues her goal to become a Catholic priest via a ordination ceremony at a Protestant church this weekend. • A new study reveals that illegal but common marriage dowries in Bangladesh are a major contributor to poverty in many families with daughters. • The custody case of 439 children from the Yearning for Zion Ranch in Texas is being whittled down with all but 37 children released from court oversight. • Researchers announced that many young women may be unknowingly spreading genital herpes because they have no symptoms and therefore do not know that they need to get tested. • Meanwhile, a recent study reports that while 40% of the women surveyed say they have sexual problems, only 12% say they are the source of significant personal distress. • Meet Dr. Elliot Jacobs, the best plastic surgeon specializing in reducing enlarged male breasts in New York City! • A study of middle-aged British women found that early puberty, having multiple children, and taking hormone replacement therapy all increase the risk of needing a joint replacement surgery due to arthritis. • Chinese authorities announced today that a mother in China will avoid a jail sentence for poisoning and smothering her mentally ill 20-year-old daughter. • A mother in England reported that her 23-year-old son collapsed and later died from watching a pornographic film weeks after her underwent open-heart surgery. • From the "Duh" files: A new study reports that female politicians must appear attractive and competent to win votes; most people perceiving male politicians as more competent that female ones. • Critically endangered Peruvian yellow-tailed wooly monkeys are being threatened by deforestation and people selling the baby monkeys for a few dollars. • A mathematician has cracked the opening "PAAAANG" chord in The Beatles' "Hard Day's Night." • Happy Halloween! •

In the email, Teresa claimed that Malonis is "trying to restrict me from every person in my life that I want to talk to or have anything to do with," adding, "The most help you will be to me now is for you to step aside and let me get a different lawyer that I feel like can help me….Natalie, quit all your lying about everything."

For her part, Malonis isn't backing down. She tells the AP that she will not fight her client in the media, though she said to the Salt Lake Tribune, "There is no question I am absolutely looking out for [Teresa]. What's happening is really a shame because people who purport to care about her are really doing her a disservice." Malonis believes that Teresa was spiritually married to a sect member at the age of 15, though Teresa now denies it. Teresa was slated to speak before a Texas grand jury in the FLDS hearings today, though the prospect of that actually happening seems unlikely.

Polygamous Sect Leader's Daughter Wants To Ditch Her Attorney [Salt Lake Tribune]
Key Teen Witness In Sect Case Denies Abuse [CBS News]
Texas Judge Bars Contact From FLDS Spokesman[Salt Lake Tribune]

MOE: The Douche-oisie?
MEGAN: You gotta thank T-Rex for that one. "I have a new term for all those nebbishy young men in DC/NY with their unsold novels and their delusions of literary lionization. The Douche-oisie."

MOE: Um there are dudes in DC like that? Nevermind, I don't want to know. Don't spoil it for me. I was very content assuming everyone in DC liked to peddle their fictions "nonfiction." Insufferable, in a way I've always been slightly more inclined to suffer. But it's reminding me of the Marxist critique of the Sex & The City movie my sister just sent me…

MEGAN: I am sitting here trying to reconcile the mental picture of a Marxist paying $10 (or sucking up to PR people) to see a movie (let alone actually watching it) that, at a minimum, glorifies conspicuous consumption. Also, I will admit I sorta don't care to see it, even if I have to give up my girl card. I never thought she should end up with Big, I always thought he sorta sucked and I thought the finale was a disappointing cop-out and so I don't care anymore.
8:30 AM
MOE: Yeah, I basically thought Big was the only good thing in a sea of really fucking boring people. Miranda's husband I also liked. Aidan gave me the vapors.Peggy Noonan on McClellan. She defends him, says he should be defended as a contributor to the historical record, finds the triteness of his insights and the obviousness of his argument "all too believable"  not to mention the fact that he has no defenders. "I want to quote his defenders, but he doesn't have any." OH PEGGY. You might have checked this little blog we know… It only quotes you every Friday…

MEGAN: Did we really defend him? I mean, I guess I do believe him because he doesn't say anything that isn't playing into Bush's shitty approval ratings.
MOE: ARGHHHHH SO WHAT.
MEGAN: Also, I give a hells yeah to Steve (Miranda's husband) and Aidan. Yum.
MOE: He's not running for anything!
MEGAN: Bush? Yes, thankfully.
MEGAN: I mean, I hate to find myself agreeing with Peggy here, but it's like, wow, Scott McClellan felt out-of-the-loop and lied to? I'm actually only surprised that he noticed and said something about it.
MOE: McClellan. That's the thing. Dude writes a book. No discernible agenda of self-servingness. About the excesses and evils of the "constant campaign." And everyone's like, "What's the campaign?" and "I don't see how this is going to affect the campaign," and "Why didn't he tell us this when it could have impacted a campaign?"
MOE: In any case he's got a crush on Obama
MEGAN: Oh, well, he didn't say it when it could affect a campaign because he was still working there. Duh. Also, would it have changed anyone's mind in 2004? Doubtful. Kerry lost by a bunch.
MEGAN: I love how it's him and Jenna against the world on that one.
MEGAN: Whoa, wait. Maybe it's not Obama on whom he has a crush?
MOE: Milbank mockery
MEGAN:

He's a bit thinner around the middle, and the sideburns are comically longer

MEGAN: Damn, dude, mocking a man's facial hair?
MOE: Dude do you remember Robbie in My Three Sons? Those were some comical sideburns, especially when it switched to color.
MEGAN: I have seen comical sideburns, sir, and I pronounce McClellan's wispy and a bit sparse, possibly in need of a good shaving, but I wouldn't call them "comical"
MOE: Oh shit some dude is aping your steez but …so much more cringetacularly!

Soup to nuts? Campbell's and Planters are here for the looking. I can't think of a single sector of the American economy that directly or indirectly doesn't have some sort of Washington representation.

MOE: Um I love how Condi Rice is recovering from being so pilloried by McClellan.
MEGAN: That's a week late and a dollar short, dude. Also, Mr. Korologos is a former Bush appointee, and is now a "strategic adviser" which means he does everything up to the point of official lobbying in order to avoid registration. So, um, what a great defender. Someone who uses his former position to almost lobby but stay under the radar.
MEGAN: Ugh, I seriously, seriously cannot see Gene Simmons anymore without flashing back to the demoralizing experience of seeing his sex tape. That was cringetastic and unimpressive. Spits on his finger to be able to finger the fake-titted chick. Small penis. Never removes his shirt. That line from Bridget Jones never seemed so apt: "Coitus is brief and perfunctory."
MOE: Ah! I often use the word "perfunctory" to describe sex sessions. I didn't realize Bridget Jones  well, that and distinctly shitty taste in dudes  was to blame. That is so depressing. Let's talk about something else!! Victory on Al Qaeda perhaps? That epic Bear Stearns series? The Fundamentalist Pedophiles being awarded their inbred children? It's all so heartening.

MEGAN: Oh, don't forget Obama's new clergy problem. This time, he's white!

MEGAN: Oh, by the way, you can go watch it right here. Why in the world would they not have stopped taping the sermons, anyway?
MEGAN: Oh, by the way, speaking of bombshells, 111 countries formally adopted a treaty to eliminate cluster bombs yesterday. Just guess who the big hold outs were? Us, Russia, China, Israel, India and Pakistan. We're always in such great company on these things.
MOE: Hahahaha China and Pakistan! They're just like US!
MEGAN: On this and the death penalty and torture! Hoorah!
9:20 AM
MEGAN: Oh, great, the Burmese junta has decided that it doesn't need any stinkin' refugee camps.
MOE: CIA director Michael Hayden:

"The fact that we have kept [Americans] safe for pushing seven years now has got them back into the state of mind where 'safe' is normal," he said. "Our view is: Safe is hard-won, every 24 hours."

Inspiring! Me to throw up!!
MOE: So what's the deal with the polygamists? Why do they get their kids back? How did that happen? Etc. etc.

MEGAN: They get their kids back as soon as they can, I guess. It seems that the Texas Supreme Court ruled that the state had failed to prove immediate danger to all the kids, since that's the standard.
MOE: Oh god and more.
MEGAN: Like, obviously, infants weren't about to be married off and shit. The state tried to argue that just being raised in the community was turning the boys into cousin-marrying pedos, but the courts didn't buy it.
MOE: BUT WHY?
MEGAN: Because they couldn't prove it.
MEGAN: I mean, let's just all admit that our legal system is pretty fucked, but it's less fucked than a lot of others.
MOE: Here's the dissenting opinion though it also concedes:

On this record, however, I agree that there was no evidence of imminent “danger to the physical health or safety” of boys and pre-pubescent
girls to justify their removal from the YFZ Ranch, and to this extent I join the Court’s opinion. Id. § 262.201(b)(1).

Maybe we should just redefine "imminent."

MEGAN: I guess it's just, like, parents have the right to fuck their kids up, home school them and teach them that humans co-existed with dinosaurs in the garden of Eden and that a woman should aspire to no more than to be a good wife to whomever she's told to marry.
MEGAN: They just don't have to right to physically abuse them or force them to have sex.
MOE: NO THEY FUCKING DON'T
MEGAN: Well, legally they do. Whether they ought to is a different question.
MEGAN: Should the state decide which religious views are valid, short of one that requires or encourages physical or sexual abuse?
MEGAN: Should the state decide by which moral values you should raise your kids?
MOE: What's on the books w/r/t cults? This is fucking mind control. They created their own totalitarian parasite state within a state, which is the only reason it's managed to survive for more than a century, and it has nothing to do with values!

MEGAN: I mean, I guess I feel like, great, if they choose my moral values, that could be totally cool but do I trust the government to choose my values? And I sure as hell fucking don't. I don't trust that they won't decide that some ignorant fucking Christian piece of shit females-aren't-as-good pastor gets to decide.
MEGAN: There isn't anything on the books about cults. As long as there's no physical or sexual coercion, they're legal. You're allowed to brainwash your followers as long as you don't stockpile weapons, try to kill everyone or fuck children.
MEGAN: Luckily for law enforcement, the really scary ones rely on physical coercion, stockpiling weapons, killing people and fucking underage girls. I mean, that's obviously unlucky for the people involved.
MOE: You know about Germany. Don't they have some decent laws on this matter?

MEGAN: Sort of. I mean, Germany's basically a two-religion state (Lutherism and Catholicism) with some provisions made for Jews. In fact, your tax dollars support the Church to which you belong, interestingly. They don't recognize Scientology as a religion, I'm given to understand but will no doubt be corrected, in no small part because to advance within the religion costs you money. They view Scientology (and, in my opinion, rightly so) as a money-making enterprise. They do allow regular LDS (i.e., Mormons) despite the tithing "requirements" of that Church.

Jeffs closed businesses and nickel-and-dimed members so severely they actually ended up buying most things with big Tupperware containers of nickels and dimes, and eventually funneled millions into the Texas ranch that got raided earlier this year. When he was finally caught the place was impoverished and in shambles and now Wisan has to try to preach the gospel of personal property and the free market. A story that may shake your faith in Marxism, folks!

Satan's Accountant [Portfolio]
Related: FLDS Elder Decries "Terrorist Acts" In Letter To Bush [CNN]
Earlier: Please Do Not Cry For Those Poor Polygamist Wives, Fox News

A spokesman for Child Protective Services tells Reuters that separating mothers and children is "difficult thing.... But these children must be protected." Over one hundred of the FDLS children have already been placed in foster homes, according to the AP, and the rest will be taken to foster homes and group residences in the next few days. The Texas appeals court is still hearing arguments about whether mothers should be allowed to visit their children while abuse allegations are being investigated, and for now, CPS is trying to keep the FDLS children separate from the greater foster care population as the kids have little or no experience with modern society. Another Child Protective Services spokesperson, Shari Pulliam, tells the AP, "We recognize it's critical that these children not be exposed to mainstream culture too quickly or other things that would hinder their success. We just want to protect them from abuse and neglect. We're not trying to change them."

The extent of the abuse may become more clear once DNA tests of the children and mothers are completed. Scientists believe they will be able to confirm or deny accusations of incest and statutory rape that have been leveled at the sect.

More Teenage Mothers Emerge In Texas Polygamy Probe [Reuters]
Texas Officials Believe 25 Sect Moms Under 18 [AP via MSNBC]
How DNA Tests Reveal Polygamist Sex Practices [MSNBC]

Earlier: Polygamists Avoid Giving Answers On Today
Despite Doubters, Texas Will Keep Polygamist Children In State Custody
Authorities Take 400 More Kids From Polygamist Sect In Texas

• Fabulous CNN reporter Richard Quest (my pretend British boyfriend), was picked up early this morning in Central Park and charged with possessing meth. Oh, Richard. You already overcame the hazards of British dentistry once, why would you risk your teeth again? [NY Times]
  
• In what is rapidly becoming a roll call of disappointment, journalists call out Snuffleupagus and Charlie Gibson for their shoddy debate performance. Isn't it elitist to care if the debate was less than substantive, guys? [The Nation]
  
• Speaking of things that are bound to disappoint others, Bill Clinton's former Labor Secretary Robert Reich endorsed Obama today. For those people counting, that's now five former Clinton Cabinet secretaries (Reich, Richardson, Peña, Daley and Mineta) supporting Obama and 2 openly supporting Clinton (Albright and Cisneros). You may hate the Bushies, but, damn, do they understand loyalty better than the Clintonistas. [Robert Reich's Blog via NY Magazine, HuffPo, WaPo, HuffPo and HillaryClinton.com]

• Dean's disappointed that the superdelegates can't make up their damn minds already. [CNN]
• And women everywhere ought to be disappointed that the Supreme Court ruled last year that we only get 6 months to notice pay discrimination if we want to ever sue for it, or that Congress has, to date, neglected to pass a little law needed to stop that bullshit. [Nation, ACLU]
• Girls in the wacky polygamist "she bleeds, she breeds" cult are too scared of disappointing God to refuse marriage or sex, not that they're old enough to legally consent anyway. [MSNBC]
• Oh, and wonder how the culties paid for all of their ranch-y-ness? With your tax dollars, courtesy of the Pentagon and the cult's own defense supply company, to the tune of $1.7 million over the last 10 years. Bet you're that much more disappointed about paying your taxes this week. [CNN]
• Clinton's undoubtedly disappointed that the latest national polls show Obama beating her by a handy margin, and the latest Pennsylvania polls show them almost neck and neck heading into the weekend. [Newsweek, Rasmussen]
• Screw it, the only person not disappointed right now is my dad, who's just happy that Obama likes beer just as much as Hillary. I, however, think they both got it wrong and that it's time for a glass of wine. [Chicago Tribune, Post-Tribune]

Surely you can understand, then, my utter batshit state of batshithood over people like this Fox News anchor who insist on muddling everything with "compassion" for these poor folks getting separated from their kids.

THIS IS WHY WE FOUGHT THE COLD WAR, YOU GUYS.

Yeah, okay, it sucks to be them, sure. Someday they will understand how seriously it sucks to be them. But cry over the hurt these brainwashed propagandists are feeling over the death of their soul murdering cult when you are ready to call up Egypt and weep for the mom of Mohammed Atta. You are the reason Howard Pyle lost his job and this fucking miniature North Korea on our own land wasn't broken up in 1953.

Chaotic Hearing For Children In Polygamist Case [NYT]
Carolyn Jessop's Memoir Of Life With FLDS, Condensed
When The Polygamists Came To Town [Time]
Fact Net [Fun anti-cult website]

• The McCain strategist who thought it was a brilliant idea to have him give a speech at the Lorraine Motel on the anniversary of Dr. Martin Luther King's assassination to apologize for having voted against MLK Day should probably not keep his job. [CBS News]
  
• The advance staffer who gave the world the image of an African-American man holding an umbrella over McCain during the speech needs to go, too. [HuffPo]
  
• Hillary Clinton's speechwriters, who wrote a speech that, for once, actually played to her oratorical skills, should stay. The guy who decided to coin the phrase "Poverty Czar"? Probably not. [NY Times]
  
• Oooh, blind item: which one of you lesbian, bonerkilling commentwhores was dragged out of a Hillary event in Los Angeles? Fess up! [Breitbart]

• Hillary's tax returns are out, and yeah, the Clintons are ridiculously rich. [Yahoo]
• One would think that there'd be no way to make a story about Clinton and Madonna boring. One would think wrong. [HuffPo]
• Even though he took $10 million from Hillary's campaign and then used his position of prominence as a lobbyist to undercut her stance against the Colombian Free Trade Agreement, Mark Penn gets to just apologize and continue raking in that cash. [Politico]
• Speaking of unemployment, it's up, of course. [LA Times]
• But the Michigan do-over is down for the count. [WaPo]
• Not that there aren't bigger election problems other places, like ZImbabwe. [WaPo]
• In case you want a little quiet reflection on events past but always remembered, you can read RFK's words about MLK's assassination, the words of the witnesses to the assassination (who still haven't been questioned by police?) and then a somber piece about why so many people fear for Obama's safety, even today.