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Comic Explains How Not To Talk About Domestic Violence
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ImproperDancing
03/12/09

In reply to Comic Explains How Not To Talk About Domestic Violence
I really don't know how anyone could brush this off as a "mistake"...can someone explain this to me?
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kaiwhakamarie
03/12/09

In reply to Comic Explains How Not To Talk About Domestic Violence
I like the comic, and kudos to him for addressing the whole issue!

The whole 'Rihanna and Chris record a duet' story was on CNN this morning. So it's true. I really did, all this time, think that was BS. It just seemed to hokey and horrible to be true. And now I find it is true. I'll save my feelings for the inevitable Jezebel thread about it, though...

Just for now, though, *STEAM*
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HuggaWugga
03/12/09

In reply to Comic Explains How Not To Talk About Domestic Violence
It seems like another firestorm may be on the way. I was on Salon the other day, reading about how the Senate passed legislation to offer the discounts for birth control, and a random commenter posted something about how Rhianna slapped Chris first, and why weren't the Broadsheet writers jumping all over that. It seemed like it was coming from a guy, because you could sense some of the misogyny and bitterness. (The guys who complain about how women can hit men and it's "okay"--um, I seem to recall Tawny Kitaen getting locked up or charged for beating up her husband/boyfriend.)

Even if she did lay a hand on him, what he did was still abusive and wrong. This doesn't absolve him of anything.
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whynotshesaid
03/12/09

@HuggaWugga: I am wary of men who spout that nonsense.

Also, the self-defense rationale makes no sense, because the whole point of self-defense is to keep yourself from getting hurt. Choking someone until they pass out and then threatening to kill them when you get home goes beyond that. Anyone who thinks Brown's reaction was reasonable is probably an abuser - or has abusive tendencies, or has been abused but hasn't dealt with it - themselves.
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Fancy Pants
03/12/09

In reply to Comic Explains How Not To Talk About Domestic Violence
I've started to notice the media using the term "beat-down" to describe the beating more often. Using slang cheapens the incident -- especially slang that's also used for sex.
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mustlovebooknerd
03/12/09

@Fancy Pants: While I agree with you, re: slang cheapens the incident, I have never EVER heard the term "beat down" to refer to sex. Just...ya know...getting your ass kicked.
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clevernamehere
03/12/09

@mustlovebooknerd: Me neither, I was starting to think I was slang deficient.
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jemandtheholograms
03/12/09

In reply to Comic Explains How Not To Talk About Domestic Violence
I saw Diddy on Ellen yesterday (not sure if it was a re-run) doing the whole, "well, we weren't there, we don't know what happened" routine. And if I could have reached through my TV screen and bitch-slapped him, I most certainly would have.
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Khrushchev
03/12/09

@jemandtheholograms: Unfortunate choice of wording, there.
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gerbilsoutofexile...is cheap and easy
03/12/09

@Khrushchev: He was acting like a total dick, and Ellen just sucked on up instead of calling him out on his dickwaddery. Nod and agree, Ellen, nod and agree.

Now I remember why I don't watch her anymore - she's too big of a suck-up.
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Khrushchev
03/12/09

@gerbilsoutofexile...is cheap and easy: Yeah, I was just referring to the term "bitch-slap" in this context (I don't think it was a conscious thing, I just sort of cringed at it).
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cassis LOL
03/12/09

In reply to Comic Explains How Not To Talk About Domestic Violence
[www.illdoctrine.com]
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HarpMadness
03/12/09

@cassis: I have had a serious crush on Jay Smooth since he gave the most intelligent, calm, insightful rebuttal to all the "community activist" ragging that went on at the Republican Convention last year (was that only last year???).
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BabyJane
03/12/09

In reply to Comic Explains How Not To Talk About Domestic Violence
This is refreshing. I wish more people got it.
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NefariousNewt
03/12/09

In reply to Comic Explains How Not To Talk About Domestic Violence
Bravo! Well done!
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Hooplehead
03/12/09

In reply to Comic Explains How Not To Talk About Domestic Violence
Yay for someone talking sense about this whole debacle. The apologists are loathsome, even if the labels are making them do it.
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Mafalda para Presidente
03/12/09

In reply to Comic Explains How Not To Talk About Domestic Violence
Ah, a voice of reason among the madness.

Mistakes shouldn't be forgiven just because "they happen" (there's a reason they're called MISTAKES or CRIMES and not FUNNY THINGS THAT JUST HAPPEN). Especially when there has been no apology from the offender. Even if Chris Brown is technically still a kid, he's old enough to learn the consequences of his actions.
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EkaterinaBallerina
03/12/09

@Mafalda para Presidente: But he's not a kid! When did 19 suddenly become "so young"? According the law, he's legally an adult and completely responsible for his actions. The whole "young" argument would fly a teensy bit better (and only a teensy bit because personally I believe you can never be too young to learn that abuse is just fucking wrong) if he were a couple years younger. But at 19, I was in college. I was living on my own. I was nowhere near "young".
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Mafalda para Presidente
03/12/09

@EkaterinaBallerina: I'd venture to say that even most 5 year olds should already know that hitting another person is wrong. Don't they teach that in kindergarten?
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ellaesther
03/12/09

In reply to Comic Explains How Not To Talk About Domestic Violence
It's worth it to click through and read the whole comic, and Moore's comments about the comic. Some men get it, and they will be part of the solution.

God bless you Kevin Moore. I love you a little bit, and I hope you raise lots of little boys and girls.
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SkipToMyLou
03/12/09

In reply to Comic Explains How Not To Talk About Domestic Violence
Awww....Mekhi Phifer, no. I didn't know he said that. Now all those ER reruns are ruined.
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Khrushchev
03/12/09

In reply to Comic Explains How Not To Talk About Domestic Violence
This is perfect. Thank God for that last panel--nothing is bothering me more than this. The person who is not a role model is the person who hit her.
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EkaterinaBallerina
03/12/09

In reply to Comic Explains How Not To Talk About Domestic Violence
It makes me physically ill that anyone is sticking up for him. I remember one commenter on another site trying to say that we shouldn't write him off just yet because this was his first mistake. Um, fuck no. It's not like he shoplifted. He beat, bite, and threatened to kill his girlfriend. You don't get a "free pass" because it was your first time.
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gobblegirl
03/12/09

@EkaterinaBallerina: Not to mention that it most likely was NOT the first time. From what I understand, most cases of domestic assault begin with shoving and words, and escalate from there.
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whynotshesaid
03/12/09

@EkaterinaBallerina: That's just stupid logic. I'm pretty sure the guy who raped me when I was a kid had never done it before. Does he get a free pass, too?

FAIL.
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Breamworthy
03/12/09

@EkaterinaBallerina: "Welcome to the US justice system, where your first attempted murder is on us!"
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BrutallyHonestBabes (aka Mrs. Sarah.of.a.Lesser.Hobbit)
03/12/09

In reply to Comic Explains How Not To Talk About Domestic Violence
The only one he missed is the old favorite, "If she goes back to him, I don't feel sorry for her anymore"

Comic guy FTW!!!
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brinkswomanship
03/12/09

@BrutallyHonestZombies: He does address that in a later panel in the comic (if you click through there are four panels total). You have to wonder if these people even realise what they're saying - I have an unrealistic hope that maybe the comic will open a few eyes!
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