[London, December 10. Image via Getty]

LONDON, ENGLAND - DECEMBER 10: A group of people dressed as space and time travellers arrive at Heathrow Airport on December 10, 2009 in London. The travellers are all friends, family and neighbours of Polish artist Pawel Althamer from Warsaw and are touring the world in a gold airliner to promote the artist's new exhibition 'Common Task' which will be on show at the Modern Art Oxford gallery in Oxford from December 12, 2009 to March 7, 2010. (Photo by Peter Macdiarmid/Getty Images)

[Warsaw, October 5. Image via Getty]

Elderly women pass a star dedicated to detained film director Roman Polanski on October 5, 2009. It was unveiled this weekend on a popular walk-way in the city centre of the Polish capital Warsaw. The star bears a quote from Polanski: 'Nothing is too shocking to me'. AFP PHOTO / JANEK SKARZYNSKI (Photo credit should read JANEK SKARZYNSKI/AFP/Getty Images)

[Poznan, Poland; August 25. Image via Getty]

POZNAN, POLAND - AUGUST 25: Bahareh Alimoradi Nasrabadi of Iran competes in the Women's Single Sculls on day three of the World Rowing Championships on August 25, 2009 in Poznan, Poland. (Photo by John Gichigi/Getty Images)

• Obama's finally decided on a running mate! He's just not going to tell you who, though, so there. He says it's someone without a big ego, so Karen Tumulty thinks it isn't Biden, CNN's confirmed it's not Sam Nunn, and I wonder where on Earth he found a politician without a huge ego. [Associated Press, Time, CNN]
• Speaking of enormous (and undeserved) egos, Rush Limbaugh's at it again, complaining that us Lesbian Feminazi Bonerkillers won't let him hit "girls." Oh, and Barack Obama is a "little black man-child." Dude, are the people that syndicate his show just going to let him show up in a white hood, too? [Media Matters]
• By the way, McCain has finally found a point below which he won't stoop to pander to the electorate — he won't take a pledge to serve only one term (that he wouldn't intend to keep anyway) just so people will stop "wondering" about his advanced age. Glad to know there's a floor! [Politico]

• The Justice Department has reportedly decided that the FBI shouldn't have to have any reasonable "basis for suspicion" to start spying on people. That's code for "it should be cool to racially and or religiously profile people," if you didn't catch the subtext. Has anyone been to the National Archives lately to see if the Constitution is actually still there? [NY Times]
• By the way, we're placing missile interceptors in Poland to head off nuclear attacks... from Iran and North Korea. You know, since Poland stands in between us and North Korea, like, totally. [Attackerman]
• By the way, oil prices are going up because of military and diplomatic tensions between the U.S. and Russia, which — if like many Americans you're a little sketchy on geographical details — does sit just the other side of Poland from us and Western Europe. Totally unrelated, though. [Associated Press]

• Check out the GoateeSaver, a device that one bites onto while shaving to create the perfect goatee every time. • Mothers are launching their own businesses in the UK after they become fed up with the lack of flexibility to spend time with their family in their old jobs. • Gamma-butyrolactone and 1,4 butanedoil may be banned in the UK where they convert into the date-rape drug GHB when ingested rapidly. • Working-age singles in Australia report having "low life satisfaction," and are only happier on average than marginalized groups like the unemployed and single parents. Is this another study trying to scare single people into getting married? • A new law may be forming in Kuwait that will require that all gyms become gender-segregated. • A 90 year-old woman had her biggest wish come true when a male staffer at her assisted living facility volunteered to serve her fish and chips in a thong. Some staffers complained that it wouldn't have happened if the genders had been reversed.

(Image via B12 Solipsism.)

• This week we discussed matters of national importance. Like threesomes.
• Michelle Obama and the role of a first lady actually are matters of national importance. But omg her dresses are purdy!
• Michelle doesn't wear short shorts. Chuck Bass wears short shorts!
• A bunch of idiot teenagers in Gloucester, Mass made a "pregnancy pact", and now a whole mess of 'em are up the stick. Sigh.
• A teen who is no longer pregnant: Jamie Lynn Spears. She gave birth to wee Maddie Briann yesterday.
• A Polish teen got caught in the middle of the abortion battle.

• On a lighter note, we learned how to give birth to queefs.
• We bet teh hotness Josh Peck wouldn't mind some hilarious queefing! Especially on weed.
• And it's Friday. So spend the weekend pondering the great mysteries of your life and relax…remember, days off are the dopeness, not the wackness.

Her mother contacted the Polish organization Polish Federation For Women And Family Planning, and they arranged for Agata to have an abortion at a private clinic in Warsaw. Somehow, Fr. Podstawka and his band of harassers found out about Agata's new arrangement, and showed up at the hospital. That's when the shit really hit the fan. According to the Polish Federation, "All hell broke loose when abortion opponents appeared at the hospital. – It was a horror – an employee says. They attacked [Agata]. In addition to the priest, there were journalists from Radio Maryja or Trwam Television. And the women from the anti-abortion organizations occupied the office."

It gets worse. The pro-lifers went to the police station after the fracas at the clinic and tried to book Agata's mother on the crime of coercing of a minor to undergo an abortion. And the last indignity: because of this debacle, Agata has been taken away from her mother and placed in emergency foster care.

This is a breach of even the restrictive Polish abortion laws, and this teenager has had to suffer, not only through a rape, but through the cruelty of zealots who care only about their cause, not about actual humans. Agata is still pregnant. She's in her eleventh week. Polish laws state that abortions, even the legal ones that are supposed to be performed after rape or for medical reasons, cannot be performed after week twelve. This is the email for the Polish Federation For Women And Family Planning. Perhaps they can help us figure out how to help Agata.

UPDATE: As I was bleary-eyed when I wrote this at 8, a sharper reader caught this happy ending to the potentially sad story: "Late evening 16 June, the Ministry of Health announced in the TV program that was found the state clinic for Agata where the abortion will be performed. The place and name of the clinic is a top secret. Two days later the Polish Catholic Information Agency informed that 'Agata' with her mother was taken to the clinic on the north of Poland. Early afternoon on June 17 the abortion was performed. Agata with her mother came back home (Lublin). It is unknown who gave the information to the Catholic Agency." Thanks, jetzinberlin!

Abortion Tug-of-war Over Schoolgirl Raped In Poland [Irish Times]
Unprotected and Assaulted: 14 Year Old Raped and Denied Abortion [Reproductive Health Reality Check]
Abortion Refused to a 14-year-old girl in Poland [Polish Federation For Women And Family Planning]