Congressional Magicians Attempt To Transform Pizza Into A Vegetable

Congress has taken on a long-neglected injustice in the food pyramid and will push to ensure that pizza, once derided as little more than a triangular delivery system for sodium and saturated fats, be finally recognized as the wholesome vegetable that it is. Our tax dollars, God's work. » 11/15/11 3:25pm 11/15/11 3:25pm

Now Schools Can Feed Kids As Many Potatoes As They Damn Well Please

A quick update on the Potato Wars being fought by the American government, the potato industry, and the lunch lady in your elementary school's cafeteria: the Senate voted to reject the $19.78 billion agriculture and rural development bill which, among many other things, would have limited schools to serving only… » 10/19/11 10:30am 10/19/11 10:30am

Potatoes Come Under Scrutiny For Dominating Unhealthy School Lunches

Despite the fact that our nation's potato consumption is at its lowest point in 30 years — down 20% since 1996, in fact — our kids are consuming so much of the vegetable in school lunches that it's become a topic of debate in the Senate. The government would like to see potatoes in school lunches limited to only two… » 10/18/11 10:45am 10/18/11 10:45am

It's been a few months since Heinz pulled » 8/27/08 2:30pm 8/27/08 2:30pm its "gay kiss" mayonnaise ad and now, just to prove to the world that they like chicks, they have come up with a showing chicken and potatoes arranged to look like a seductive, voluptuous woman. Appetizing, no? We can just imagine the cracks made over at Heinz HQ over this ad:…