• Model turned cookbook author Sophie Dahl is getting her own cooking show on BBC 2. Dahl says her show will cover on the "emotional" side of food. "It's cooking with an anecdotal thread, irreverent, unpredictable and not without flaw." [Sun]

• Tilda Swinton will be the Spring 2010 face of Pringle of Scotland. Ryan McGinley, who's also behind the current Levi's 501s campaign, will shoot the ads, and a short film featuring the actress. [WWD]
• Target reps denied that Anna Sui's upcoming collection for the retailer was in trouble for its Gossip Girl theme. (Rumors had circulated earlier this week that Sui's clothes were set to be worn by extras in a scene for an upcoming episode, but that executives at the chain were made uncomfortable by the teen soap's debauchery.) The Sui collection hits stores on September 14. [Stylelist]
• And nor, apparently, is it true that Kate Moss is going to be a part of Sir Philip Green and Simon Cowell's new global entertainment company. [WWD]
• Forever 21 is expanding into homewares and beauty. [WWD]
• Three armed men robbed a Cartier store in Cannes and got away — so far — with $20.9 million worth of jewels. [WWD]
• Two biographies of the late editor/muse Isabella Blow, who committed suicide in 2007 after failing several earlier attempts, are slated for release next year. Detmar Blow, her widower, is co-writing one with Tom Sykes, brother of the mostly intolerable Vogue scribe Plum. Fashion writer Lauren Goldstein Crowe is working on another. [NYObs]
• Frederic Bourke, the co-founder of Dooney & Bourke, remains the company chairman even after his conviction on conspiracy charges for his role in an investment group that bribed Azerbaijani officials with hundreds of millions of dollars. The investment group was seeking preferential consideration for its bid for the Azeri state-owned oil company, and although he beat money-laundering charges, Bourke now faces up to 10 years in prison and a $500,000 fine. "This is indeed an unfortunate situation," said Dooney & Bourke's lawyer, Thomas McAndrew. "It's tragic for Mr. Bourke. Our thoughts and prayers go out to his family." [WWD]
• Everyone loves falling models. You've probably seen most of these — but there is one nasty spill from a Gharani Strok show we hadn't witnessed before. [Modelinia]
• The Project Runway model spin-off show that the producers have been threatening for ages now is a reality. Called Models of the Runway, the hour-long reality show will air after every episode of Project Runway's sixth season. [SassyBella]
• Amber Rose, who's now with Ford's celebrity division, has two Polaroids on Confessions Of A Casting Director. No word yet on the kinds of bookings she's attracting. [COACD]
• Karlie Kloss, on bagging the campaign for Marc Jacobs' fragrance Lola: "I didn't believe it, to be honest. I was shocked. I was like, 'No, you're kidding me. Me? Marc Jacobs knows my name?!' I was convinced that they accidentally drew my name out of hat or something." [W]
• Doutzen Kroes likes to read the New York Times. And Dutch papers: "I always try to keep up with what's going on in my own country too," said the model. "You have to!" [StyleFile]
• Times Critical Shopper Cintra Wilson, on Marni: "What I like best about Marni is that it gives a fashionable girl a creative direction if men finally dismay her past the point of no return. It provides a high-fashion shelter for those too badly scorched and shell-shocked by the battle of the sexes to return to the field. When you've really had it up to your push-up bra with the unfair sex, there may come a day when you stop waxing your legs and start hand-painting your car, brewing your own tattoo inks and converting your dining room into an abandoned-pet shelter — and Marni will be there for you." [NYTimes]
• Guiseppe Zanotti might be entering the mens footwear market. [WWD]
• Of course Alberta Ferretti has a sickeningly beautiful Italian country home. [FWD]
• Bebe is phasing out all Bebe Sport merchandise and stores. The replacement brand, targeting "value-oriented consumer spending," will be called PH8. [WWD]
• UK retail behemoth Asda's George line is offering deals on school uniforms that start at just £4.50. (Competitor Tesco's uniforms start at £3.75.) Asda's come with a money back guarantee against holes, rips, or untreatable stains — that occur within the first 100 days of purchase. Fast fashion really is a race to the bottom. [ToL]
• Supposedly, Jon Gosselin and Hailey Glassman's children's clothing line for Ed Hardy is back on. Christian Audigier, who earlier denied the project, told E! that it "should be" happening. [E!]
• Jack McCollough and Lazaro Hernandez of Proenza Schouler even took on the task of finding advertisers when they agreed to curate an issue of the Belgian title A Magazine. "They don't really have a staff when they hand you over the magazine," said Hernandez, "They're just like, ‘Here you go, now do it!'" At the launch party, cover star Chloë Sevigny turned up in a black leather Proenza Schouler jumpsuit. "I feel a bit like a super-slut superhero," she said. [NYObs]
• Simon Doonan: "I think the future of fashion lies in the hands of the consumer. All the press, art direction, hype and red-carpet celebs do not amount to anything at the end of the day if the customer is not on board. When Anna Wintour announced "Fashion's Night Out," I let out a loud cheer. Ms. Wintour is smart enough to understand it's time to swing the spotlight away from the front-row celebs and back into the fitting room. The customer is king…or queen." In the same interview, the Barney's creative director called not having a C.E.O. " a colossal drag." [WWD]
• An auction for bankrupt company Eddie Bauer's assets is taking place this Thursday, and VF Corp has announced its intention to bid. VF owns outdoorsy brands like The North Face, Eastpak, JanSport, and Eagle Creek. The successful bidder is expected to keep the 89-year-old retailer Eddie Bauer in operation. [WWD]
• Levi's lost money during its second quarter because of 3% drop in sales — but it still intends to keep opening new stores. [WSJ]
• In fact, everyone's opening boutiques like it's going out of style. Miu Miu just cut the ribbons on its first footholds in China and Turkey. [WWD]
• And Versace just opened its largest Middle Eastern store, a 6,480-sq. ft. shop in a Dubai mall. [WWD]
• Adjusted for exchange rate fluctuation, Burberry revenues sank 4% on last year during the second quarter. The company has already cut about 15% of its workforce. [Reuters]
• H&M;s June same-store sales fell a larger-than-expected 5%. [WWD]
• Wholesale prices on U.S.-made apparel fell 0.2% from May to June, but this June's prices were still 1.3% higher on last year's. [WWD]

"Last spring, standing in the Mayfair atelier of designer Matthew Williamson..." begins the odyssey. Our heroine, you see, is being fitted for a custom gown for the Met Costume Institute Ball. But there's trouble: "Matthew declared that I had a great body and could show it. I said I was 38 and even if my body was passable, my face was far too old to be seen attached to it half naked in public." They compromise on a seemingly demure jersey gown with a daringly open back, which happens to be totally on-trend, even though "wearing a backless dress is demanding. It requires the right back - neither too fleshy nor too bony." A chemical peel is apparently a good idea, too.

Plum has such a back, which leads to (shocker!) her feeling "smug." You see, Plum's back is the product of much sturm, drang, and money. It's only become "bareable" after years of intense pain. The pain, she explains, came on when she was penning Bergdorf Blondes, and a novel and a baby later, was only more excrutiating. Hypnosis, acupuncture, massage, reflexology, chiropractors, osteopaths, healers and cortisone injections provide only temporary relief, and finally a physical therapist tells her that she's simply going to have to strengthen her back muscles, which are too thin to support her height. She relates something most of us know all too well:

He told me that the biggest danger for me was writing at a computer. Over time, sitting for long stretches weakens your core - the muscles that should hold you upright - and leads to far too much pressure on your back muscles.

Given that I'm sitting as I write, and most of you are probably currently sitting in the service of some sitting-centric occupation as you read, this is an issue we can all stand to consider. So, not surprisingly, I sat up a little straighter - putting pressure on my atrophied muscles, of course - to read the next bit. Well, here is how Plum saved her back:

With my life split between New York and London, I went to private (Pilates) lessons at re:AB in NoHo. I had one-on-one lessons with Madonna's Pilates instructor in London...I do Pilates sessions twice a week and ride my horse twice a week (horse riding is excellent for strengthening the core, legs, and arms.) I never sit at the computer for more than 30 minutes without standing up and stretching. I have hired an assistant who types while I dictate. It all costs a fortune, but it's still cheaper (slightly) to be well than sick.

Well, the stretching thing I can do. Thanks, Plum!

The Flip Side [Vogue]

Writes Sykes (natch) in Vogue (natcher) about Gwyneth (natchest),

For Gwyneth Paltrow, radically changing her signature look last spring was a major personal and commercial decision. She explains,"I was shooting...and Orlando Pita was blowdrying my long blonde hair, and I was like, 'I actually can't take it anymore! lease cut off my hair!' He was like, 'What?' So we called Mario Testino [who was shooting the pictures]. And I texted Aerin Lauder [creative director at Estee Lauder, where Paltrow has a contract] to say, 'Is it OK?' She said it was OK. So I cut it off. I felt like a weight was lifted." Her new hair enabled her to pull off a new style sleek minidresses, vertiginous avantgarde heels and, of course, to launch legions of imitators."I trimmed it a bit shorter after that, and Orlando said, 'Everyone's coming in and asking for this short hair.'"

The haircut, described variously as "perfect, coolly swingy length," "this new weird length," and not a haircut at all but "a hair length," should, according to one hairdresser, "appear blunt but should never be blunt, as blunt looks cheap." It shows off Sykes' "very long" neck. It sounds like shoulder-length but oh, wait: "If the hair grows too much and starts resting on the shoulders, suddenly your look goes from fashiony glam to soccer mom."

All I can ascertain is that it's perfect. "It's perfect in the sense that if you put it into a ponytail, it's still cool. It's still got an attitude." "You can wear more things: With prints and florals you look polished rather than boho, and with sexy things it looks chic as opposed to cheap. I barely even need a blowout." But oh noes! Now everyone has the mysterious, perfect haircut!

I called Lauren Santo Domingo the next morning to discuss the elated disposition this hair produces. She was still thrilled with her hair, although there was one downside."I made Valery promise he wouldn't do the same cut for everyone else," she said, and then let out a wistful long sigh:"But everyone is going to him for shorter hair. So now we all have the same hair. Again.

Don't worry, Plum: the proles have absolutely no idea what you're on about. Your perfect haircut is safe.

Vogue [Official Site]

This month, Joffe co-stars with socialites Maggie Betts and Poppy Delevingne (in a funny coincidence, also February Vogue's It Girl) in that staple of money-saving, fun-having belt-tightenry, the clothing swap party. And while you may know the clothing swap party as a place where a mountain of unflattering and unwanted garb collapses to form a black hole of self-loathing and veiled body snark, the Joffe-Betts-Delevingne edition is full of delicious, high-fashion fun. A Thakoon dress changes hands! A Lizzie Fortunato necklace! An Azrouel vest! Dinner is served — Joffe points out that "there aren't any boys coming — should we have garlic bread?" But these faux-recessionistas prudently eschew the extra carbs. Instead, they content themselves with their feelings of virtuousness, what stylist Sophia Hesketh calls "the economy and the ecology" of the swap party itself.

A few pages later, Plum Sykes details her response to the recession: building a "Forever wardrobe," starting with two outfits for . . .

the one weekend a year when my husband and I entertain. (Believe me, it is only once a year, downturn or not.) Every fall my husband takes a day's partridge shooting on gallerist Detmar Blow's Hilles estate in Gloucestershire, England [...] The dress code is nonnegotiable: tweeds for day and grand dress for dinner.

Sykes goes on to purchase a tweed suit and Giambattista Valli dress for a total of $8,515, or, converted to normal-people dollars, a "buttload." Still, there's something kind of endearing about the whole escapade. It's when really rich people economize (and yes, we do get that there's a difference between a $4,600 dress that you'll wear again and a $64,000 fur coat dipped in gold) that we see how very much they will never be like us. And how much Vogue, despite its (so far, sorta half-hearted) efforts, will never really be about normal people or their concerns. So happy shooting, Plum! We'd like to close with an observation by your buddy Gwyneth Paltrow, herself a noted supporter of the proletariat: "I find it hilarious that in America, at dinner in the country, you're in sweatpants and cashmere, but in England you bust out your couture." Gwyneth Paltrow, ladies and gentlemen: even in these trying times, she always knows how to make us laugh.

• Tom Ford has spoken: eyebrow wiggling is now a sign of displeasure. "I haven't had any plastic surgery — despite what people think, this is my nose...I have had Restylane and Botox, but I don't think of that as plastic surgery any more. It's true I can't really frown, but I can move my eyebrows, so..." [Guardian]
• Well, at least Manolo Blahnik is less ridiculous! Oh, wait. "Manolo Blahnik tumbles into the room wearing an extremely dapper royal-purple suit, purple and yellow knitted tie, orange suede shoes and black circular glasses à la Le Corbusier. He stretches out his hand, and when I shake it he squeaks in pain, shaking, then retracting it." [Independent]
• Jean-Paul Gaultier, maybe? “'I did a revue with my teddy bear at home...I pretended he had breasts. The first cone bra I did was for my teddy bear, not for Madonna. I had a strawberry box for the stage, and I put a lot of feathers on my teddy bear for the headdress. I used feathers from my cleaning brush for the finale.'” [NYT]
• Come. on, Zac Posen, redeem your industry: "Puppies, babies and plastic surgery are the new fashion. That's where fashion's going." [Big Think]

• It's official: Project Runway saved from a fate worse than death, aka Lifetime Television for Women. [NY Mag]
• "Ironically, runways in the nation that brought us an all-black Vogue were not only less diverse than New York's but disappointingly white." [Shophound]
• The sale of YSL's art collection — which includes Picassos, a Matisse, a Leger and a Mondrian — is expected by auctioneers to bring in 440 billion dollars. [Breitbart]
• The Stylista contestants revealed! One of them is named Cologne. [NY Mag]
• This Lancome lip gloss and this Marc Jacobs shirt kind of look alike. [Glam Chic]
• The Queen's preferred dressmaker on the verge of collapse! Experts suggest it, um, failed to move with the times. [Telegraph]
• In a weird coincidence, the designer of Diana's wedding dress is going under, too. [Daily Mail]
• The Sergio Rossi-Puma sneaker heel is the stuff nightmares are made of. [Fashionista]
• Kate Moss apparently "snogs the face off" some Vivienne Westwood cohort. [Mirror]
• The Eastpak allegedly "reinvented" by Raf Simons. That's what they said about cafeteria food. [LA Times]
• Shoes are apparently a better investment than stocks. Although not, presumably, if you walk in them. Cue Carrie Bradshaw reference. [Business Sheet]
• "On Monday, men's magazine GQ India hits the newsstands, following in the footsteps of other male-only publications such as Men's Health, Maxim, and FHM, and experts are saying this is further proof that Indian men are embracing more global fashions." Pictured: an Indian guy in what appears to be a gold leather Harlequin outfit and bow-tie. [Reuters]
• Burberry Children's to bring overpriced (adorable) mini duffel coats to U.S. market. [WWD]
• Lenny Kravitz barred from Ric Owens show; sneaks in anyway. [Style.com]
• "Over the last year, Mr. Margiela, known as fashion’s “Invisible Man” because he never gives interviews and has rarely been photographed, has told colleagues that he wants to stop designing and that he has begun a search for his successor at the house." So...how will anyone know? [NY Times]
• Speculation rampant that Plum Sykes querying Guardian style column. Okay, not really. [Guardian]
• We can't really wrap our heads around the new Pat Field for venerable frump-purveyor Marks and Sparks line, so will probably stick to weeping. [The Sun]
• Fashion feels the credit crunch. [WWD]
• Gareth Pugh brings back the Elizabethan ruff. [ElleUK]

Sadie
- rent control
- health insurance
- hand towels

Maria
- a savings account and/or IRA
- a good vacuum
- a subscription to a major newspaper that you read every day

Anna N.
- the right to choose
- a sense of humor about getting older
- a basic understanding of plumbing

Megan
- a friend that knows that awful, unforgivable thing you did that time and still loves you and never brings it up
- a bra that keeps your tits looking like they did at 25
- at least one pair of shoes that make your feet/legs look fantastic and are still actually comfortable

Dodai
- to visit 3 continents besides the one you were born on
- to create something (poem/photograph/artwork/scrapbook) you'd want to keep forever … and then give it away
- to realize that lists that document you need to have or do by a certain age are bullshit

Dodai's got a point — the idea that all women "need" certain things by 38 is perhaps a fallacy unworthy of Jezebel. But what three things do you most want by 38? And if you're 38 and up, what are you glad you had by the time you got there?

Vogue [Official Site]

Imagine that! She compares Truman Capote's classic Breakfast at Tiffany's to Sunday and the other Capote also-rans and discovers to no one's surprise that these new books are entirely (tacky) style and zero substance.

"This summer’s brand-flogging novels also reveal a kind of empty clink at the bottom of fashion’s well," Horyn noted. "Is that all there is? Has the fashion plot thinned to such a degree that it’s just about presenting life as a blue velvet ring box or a giant Birkin bag?"

Horyn tries to figure out why women continue to buy these books. Is all this name dropping aspirational? Harper Collins editor Jonathan Burnham says, "The audience [for these brand-heavy books] is Middle American women looking to buy a taste of the glittering East Coast experience, with all the silliness," while another editor says that like glamorous movies during the Depression, these books provide a glittery salve for those struggling with pedestrian struggles like mortgages.

Really? If my house were being foreclosed on and I started reading a book about basically empty women who are blowing thousands of dollars on gaudy couture, it would not distract me from my plight. It would make me want to punch these fictional harridans directly in the cooch. Which is sort of how I felt when I read this quote from Vogue's Plum Sykes, whose Bergdorf Blondes was a bestseller when it came out in 2004. "Using all those brand names is sort of bizarre,” said Ms. Sykes. “At the time that ‘Bergdorf Blondes’ and ‘The Devil Wears Prada’ came out, it seemed so modern. Now it seems old-fashioned.” Oh yes Plum, you invented brand name dropping eons ago, and now that all the plebes have caught on, it's so desperately out of touch!

Anyway, although the venerable Ms. Sykes hath declared brand-name dropping "old-fashioned," Lauren Weisberger's Chasing Harry Winston, which is chock-full of expensive accessories, has been on the New York Times bestseller list for 13 weeks so far. Clearly we can't beat 'em, so we might as well join 'em: mark your calendar for my forthcoming novel, Humping Hermès Scarves to hit book stores in the summer of 2010!

And the Plot Thinned ... [New York Times]

Earlier: Young Adult Novels Plumb New Depths Of Product Placement
Blogging Towards Bethlehem

• Clothing line Anchor Blue has signed Heidi Montag to be its new face. Because execs want to appeal to a "slightly older" demographic. No, really. [WWD, sub req'd]
  
• Would you like to be Erin O'Connor's escort to a show during London Fashion Week? Well lucky for you she's holding a contest with Vogue UK. To win her hand (or, you know, the seat next to her) all you have to do is compose her a poem. Start work-shopping those dirty limericks here! [Vogue UK]
  
• Thrilling/disturbing news: Steve & Barry's has inked a licensing deal allowing them to create and sell t-shirts bearing images and logos from The Little Rascals, The Andy Griffith Show, The Beverly Hillbillies, The Brady Bunch, The Love Boat, The Twilight Zone, Happy Days, Laverne & Shirley, Cheers and Beverly Hills 90210. And if you feel a twinge of sadness that the average Steve & Barry's customer has probably never known the joy of watching an episode of Laverne & Shirley, just think of the poor children in China who will be sewing them. [WWD, sub req'd]

• So the family of the actual Ossie Clark, whose namesake label was just revived during the opening of London Fashion Week, says they never gave anyone permission to use the house's name. And are now taking legal action. Awkward. [WWD, 4th item]
• Talk about expensive shit! Remember those Van Cleef & Arpels-Earnest Sewn jeans we told you about? They retail for between $9,700 and $11,300. Also, they are fug. [Fashion Week Daily]
• "I couldn't fit into my [Bill] Blass sample. I guess it's because I'm not an 18-year-old Russian." Socialite Plum Sykes: just like us! [Fashion Week Daily]
• Ooh la la: Heidi Klum and Seal on the cover of French ELLE! [Sassybella]
• Alessandra Gucci (daughter of dead Maurizio) is launching her own accessories line under the label AG, since the Gucci clan won't let any of its usurping-relatives use the family name to promote their own half-wit businesses. But Alessandra's business sounds less half-wit than most: It's all alligator handbags in pretty colors. And the girl does have a degree in economics, so good for her? [WWD, 2nd item]
• Perry Ellis revenues are down. Insert instinctual defensive remark about the halycon days of Marc Jacobs and his grunge collection. [WWD, sub req'd]
• Jones Apparel also doing not so good. That's a recession for you, folks! [Reuters]
• Liz Claiborne is thisclose to selling off Ellen Tracy to (who else) a private equity firm. The sale will fetch $50 million, which...seems kind of low, albeit to someone who will never see that kind of cash ever. [NY Post]

Another little-mentioned reason why many men would rather not be in the room for the birth is that the whole performance is seriously unsexy. The one bit of advice all men give other men is: 'Stay up at the top end.' But, like all the best advice, it is destined to be ignored. The average guy thinks: "Well, a quick peek can't hurt, can it?" Yes, it can. Jewish religious laws forbid the presence of the man at the birth, to preserve their wife's dignity. What smart thinking.

Sometimes 'Vogue' runs a story so dumb it can only be responded to on its own terms, with an obsequious letter to the editor. If you thought last month's Arden Wohl profile was like that, you really mustn't miss August's piece on the sisters Poppy and Chloe Delvigne/Delvingne (either the magazine or Poppy's modeling agency screwed up the spelling) touted as the second coming of the Plum and Lucy Sykes. They are (duh) British socialites, one of whom has (duh) worked at 'Vogue', the other of whom is, praise Allah, moving to New York. But only because "she has saved practically all the money she has earned modeling in the past five years so she can afford to." Perhaps she could give us a tutorial in financial planning. And the application of face diamonds! ('Diamantes' to those who are thrifty enough to afford them...)

To Ms. Wintour:
I will be first to admit I was unconvinced when in your August editor's letter, you likened British sisters Chloe and Poppy Delevigne to the inimitable Sykes twins, Plum and Lucy, distinguished authors and journalists both known for prose as shimmering as their Patek Philippe watches. But your breathtaking profile of these two ravishing young specimens of English public school gentility, "Charm School," went an admirable way toward chipping away at said cynicism. I can assure you, for one thing, that a less refined magazine could not have exercised the restraint you did in leaving out the "heroin" word from mentions of their mother Pandora, especially given her somewhat-mystifying decision to name her second daughter "Poppy." But by deliberately using a more obscure spelling of their surname — and risking the possibility that you might look as though you'd made an editing error — you admirably provided the young ladies with an extraordinary layer of protection from the invasiveness of those jealous, embittered, computer-age "blogger-types" that derive so much satisfaction from the decimation of every cherished vestige of upper-class culture. I can only imagine what else you protected them from — perhaps that youngest Delvigne daughter Cara, a teenager who appears to be in a rock band of all things, is nursing an addiction of her own? Or that the trials of rehabilitation have left her a touch zaftig next to her spritely sisters? I did not, nor do I now, particularly want to know, which is why I was gratified that you chose instead to lavish the bulk of your attention on the details of her busy day "trial running" her makeup in preparation for her 21st birthday party. How else would your writer have been privvy to such delightful details as Poppy's eyelashes being "so long they touch my eyebrows" — your bit of hyperbole about the "entire cosmetics floor fluttering" at the blink of her eye adding such a lovely touch — or that she is polite to both makeup artists and paid drivers in front of reporters? In conclusion, I can only say thank you. Every time I worry that eBay and American paparazzi culture have robbed fashion of all of its glamour, romance, and mystery, I have only to pick up your magazine and read a deliberately-opaque story about a marginally-employed socialite — or perhaps a publicist-driven roundup of the impossibly weighty books rich women take with them to St. Tropez — in order to believe again.
Thank you,
MT
Duluth