1. The Feather Duster
Is it a mullet? Is it (shudder) a shag? Wait til you see this angle:

Didn't Alyssa Milano have this same 'do on Who's The Boss? Thanks to Fey Friends, you can see this guy naked. NSFW, obviously.

2. The Fabio
There's not enough Pantene Pro-V in the world to fix those split ends. Only a pair of scissors can cure what ails this gentleman. (You can see this guy naked too. NSFW.)

3. The Dorothy Hamill

Fey Friends calls this one the Kate Jackson, but it's clearly a Dorothy. This shaggy look is actually making a comeback, on teenage Disney Channel stars and that one guy on Bravo's Million Dollar Listing. Be afraid.

4. The Soul Glo
A Jheri curl on steroids! The faux commercial from Coming To America was so solidly based in reality it almost wasn't funny.

5. The Lace-Front Man-Weave

John Travolta has one. So does Brendan Fraser. Lord only knows what is up with Nicolas Cage's hair these days.

Oh! Here's a close up of Revolta:

6. The Long-Ass Combover

Joe Biden's hair-plug and comb-over combo is a desperate attempt for you to listen to his words and not look at his scalp. Why are some guys so afraid of going bald? It doesn't sap your strength! Ask James Carville.

7. The Silver Scrub Brush

Jay Manuel is the only one who knows what the hell this is all about.

8. The Electric Shock Treatment Therapy

This is the dude, yes, dude from Tokio Hotel. I hate to sound like my mom but: Kids today are crazy.

Want to nominate a dude with wretched hair? Feel free to post pix in the comments!

The Way of the Bro Coiffure [Radar]
Inexcusable Hairdos on the Nude Dudes of Playgirl [WOW Report]
The Worst of Playgirl: Tresses Messes [Fey Friends] (NSFW)

[Celebrity images via AP.]

Kane attributes the problem to a magazine that had its resources slowly taken away a publisher on high. Gone were the days of interviews with Keanu Reeves or the ability to get anyone remotely famous to pose. After the "notorious experimental year without willies" in the eighties and a few rounds of using gay models and gay photographers whose sensual sensibilities were slightly different than the female readership that Playgirl was supposed to be attracting (think: spread ass-cheek pictures), the magazine began to be thought of as a periodical closet case. Kane puts it this way:

I disagree that only gay men would ever want to look at pictures of naked men. This was a half-baked conjecture I heard over and over when I met new people and the subject of my job came up. To me it came off as a careless denial of women's sexuality; it was equivalent to saying that women don't fantasize.

In Kane's analysis, the magazine succeeded when it successfully projected the image of catering to women and what at least some of us want to look at (hot naked dudes) and read about, rather than a magazine in which a woman is wondering why she's staring at some naked guy's asshole and flipping through ads of dudes blowing each other. It succeeded because some women wanted to buy it, and the kinds of famous people that could get women to buy it could tell themselves they were appearing in it for their female fans and put out of their minds the legions of gay men pleasuring themselves to the same pictures.

But those days are long since gone, and so Playgirl withered on the vine as porn for not-women rather than a magazine for women that happened to have naked people in it — the tune Playboy has been singing for a while now. And all Kane's got to show for it is a bunch of naked pictures of hot naked guys. Well, I mean, that actually doesn't sound so terrible. Being unemployed with a huge stash of porn isn't the worst trade-off. Normally I just end up with some extra pens.

Goodnight, Sweet Hunks [Radar]
Related: Playgirl Comes to the End of Its Road (Sorta NSFW) [Best Week Ever]

• Commenting on an Eliot Spitzer whore scandal is vaguely as exciting than reading about the intricacies of trade negotiations — and also, somewhat less important — but I had to point out this quote from a source close to Kristin "Billie" Davis (who "hails from a rough-in-tumble California trailer park.") "She personally interfaced with Spitzer a number of times." Wow, "interface." That used to be corporate jargon for "talked to" and now it is being used to denote... bareback anal. [NYP]
  
• "His sex appeal lies in being a successful businessman and politician. Women like a guy who is in control, and a man who knows what he wants." That's the editor-in-chief of Playgirl on why she'd like to land Eliot Spitzer for a cover shoot incorporating a young woman in a Girls Gone Wild T-shirt. I know; you're creaming just thinking of interfacing with it right? [US]
  
• Wait, speaking of: raunchy outtakes from the Abercrombie & Fitch catalog are now being sold as a $200 "art" book. [NYP]
  
• Wait, no, really speaking of, Barack Obama was interviewed by Maria Bartiromo, who tried to paint him as some sort of Hugo Chavez character by baiting him with a question about the Fed's bailout of Bear, to which he said, "Well, I wasn't privy to Bear Stearns' balance sheet." He doesn't sound like a socialist! [CNBC]

• A fifteen year old in the UK has been found guilty of beating a woman to death because she was goth. [BBC]
• Oh, great, now the enemies decide to register their discontent with the our invasion of the Iraq in a peaceful manner? What's next, hunger strikes? [NYT]
• Foreigners on the election: Germany wants the "Black Kennedy" because they are "romantic" that way; Mexicans like Hillary because NAFTA was good for them, Chinese like HIllary because NAFTA was good for them too, Israelis distrust Obama and Muslims in the Middle East think he can't win because "his middle name is like mine." [WSJ]
• What cocktail will be the Next Cosmo? The cognac industry is hard at work on it. But it won't be easy. "Brand promotional pamphlets and in-house recipe books are cemeteries of forgotten drinks." Ah, life. It is such struggle. [WSJ]
• Gubernatorial corruption etc.: now also in Puerto Rico! [NYT]
• So that was "ten days that changed capitalism," we just don't really know how exactly. [WSJ]

Men's magazines have nipples, so why don't women have a magazine where men show their penises? If there was a magazine like that I'd buy it. Nudity's not a big deal to me.

We're sick of reading profiles in which Scarlett Johansson and Lindsay Lohan sound like they're these awesome empowered articulate hypersexual uberconfident dames when, um, duh, they're 21, so like, what they have going for them can pretty much be summed up as "perky tits." Sayin!

Jessica Alba Has Never Heard Of Playgirl [Fleshbot]