I'm often the loudest person in the Gawker Media offices because I'm a big fan of chunky platform shoes. Clogs, boots, stacked heels, whatever: if I can clomp in them, I'm probably on board. I'm 5'2'', so I love wearing shoes that give me a bit of height, but I hate feeling like I'm tiptoeing around on stilts.…

Since around 2pm on Monday, I've felt like a contestant on a sadistic Japanese game show, donning an American flag bikini and a blindfold, covered in glue and standing in a phone booth, trying to catch dollar bills with my flailing arms as an industrial strength blower propels cash around me at high speeds. But…