Jezebel 
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New York, 3:25 AM
Sun Nov 29
17 posts in the last 24 hours
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11/12/09
*crickets*
Thank you, thank you. I'm here all week. #strippers
11/12/09
Maybe I've helped too many friends decorate their babies rooms, but to me it sounds something you hang over a crib. #strippers
11/12/09
11/12/09
11/13/09
I can't believe they were sitting there at two computers in the same house! I wonder if she managed to keep a straight face at all. #strippers
11/13/09
11/12/09
What on earth, between women dancing without restraints in a moving vehicle and the distraction that women dancing suggestively is bound to cause for all drivers, would lead them to think that there was any doubt in this situation? #strippers
11/12/09
11/12/09
11/12/09
That's a BMI of 35.4. And I had a perfectly normal labor and delivery and nobody told me to GTFO. He was just a hungry damn baby and weighed over 9 pounds himself. Neither of us had diabetes or ANY PROBLEMS AT ALL.
F*ck you, Weston General. F*ck you right to hell. If you were my local hospital and you had the balls to try something like this on me I'd just sit on the front doorstep and give birth RIGHT THERE IN THE HOSPITAL LOBBY. #strippers
11/12/09
At first take I was mad at this, but from the hospital's perspective, this isn't about discrimination.
I was a really early preemie and my mom was a Type 1 diabetic. She was transferred to 2 different hospitals before the EMTs found one that had a doctor willing to assist with the complicated delivery (which lasted 39 hours, go mom!). The first two hospitals did not believe that they were adequately equipped to help my mom, and in addition were not equipped to help a baby that would need immediate life support.
Some hospitals don't accept trauma patients etc-- on the face, this banning certain types of pregnancies seems like a maddening practice, but if the hospital believes mothers will be in danger, they should not treat them.
11/12/09
11/12/09
It completely sucks for women in that area who will have to travel farther to receive care-- but I hope it's for a good reason and not just the hospital being a bunch of dicks. #strippers
11/12/09
It seems to me that the hospital is advertising that it cannot deal with any kind of "complicated" childbirth, and if I were of lower than 34 BMI, I would be very hesitant to birth my child in a hospital where the staff may not actually know how to deliver babies. #strippers
11/12/09
11/12/09
11/12/09
11/12/09
I have a BMI of 38 which is DEATH FAT. I am so fat that the BMI chart indicates I will die from my enormity. I am a size 20. I have absolutely no problem fitting into theatre chairs, standard bed sizes, etc. No special gurneys, beds, tables or scales are neccesary for me. My only complaint are airline seats, but that's more of a gendered complaint from anyone who possesses hips.
Certainly, if a hospital cannot care for me because I have such freakish proportions, they should be shut down. And for those people who require larger scales, beds, chairs, etc, they should acquire some - because some people come in "non-standard" sizes and they are also human beings who may need health care.
This case is one of two things: the staff at the hospital are incompetent, or just want to "punish" fatties - specifically women - by withholding health care. My money's on the latter explanation. I'll bet they have no problem offering incredibly risky weight loss surgery to people over a 34 BMI. #strippers
11/12/09
11/12/09
11/12/09
11/12/09
In other news, I really thought the woman gets arrested while in labor story was going to be very different (like they tracked down an actual criminal) and was shocked! by the story. But then I remembered that this is America, and my shock faded. #strippers
11/12/09
11/12/09
11/12/09
11/12/09
However, we couldn't give a fuck about the ones who we DON'T LET deliver here. #strippers
11/12/09
11/06/09
Particularly when the complaints are about something that if the genders were reversed, girls wouldn't care at all. A guy comments on a girls appearance, and it is sexist, a girl comments on a guys appearance, and it is fine.
A guy tells a girl he wants to jump her bones, its extremely rude and sexist, a girl tells a random guy she wants to jump his bones, and most guys will be flattered!
Cat-calls? If girls called out to me about my looks when I went by I would be....flattered! If a girl slapped me on my ass, I would find it hilarious!
There are absolutely things where women and men are not equal and that is a problem, but the vast majority of the time that I see feminists speak up about something, it is an issue which is a complete double-standard if it was a girl doing it rather than a guy. This just makes people bitter and frustrated.
If feminists were a little more relaxed about the things that many guys are relaxed about, it would be easier to focus on feminist issues that ACTUALLY MATTER. #feminism
11/06/09
Fearing for my safety is a serious issue. It ACTUALLY MATTERS. #feminism
11/06/09
You can't know what a person approaching or passing you (or in this case behind you) is going to do, so the only way you can avoid this is by avoiding men in general.
And once it has happened, how is reacting negatively going to help protect your safety? In fact, knowing how some men behave, reacting negatively will just goad them on. Laughing it off is far more likely to make for a completely harmless situation, while calling them out on it is far more likely to get you in trouble and will do little to change their ways.
Furthermore that doesn't even apply to cat calls. A guy driving by and honking or going "Nice!" is endangering you? Hardly.
Lastly, you ignored the major point of my comment and instead attacked an example I used to illustrate my point.
See what I mean about giving feminism a bad name? #feminism
11/06/09
Firstly, you've suggested that the things that feminists get upset about are not an issue when the roles are reversed, so let's tackle this issue:
This comes down to (a) polite, respectful behaviour and (b) the performance of masculinity and femininity.
So point (a) is, regardless of whether you (or society) feel offended when when a woman objectifies a man, it doesn't change the fact that it is just plain rude. It reduces an autonomous Subject to the position of Object. My point is that it doesn't matter who it is that is objectifying, who it is that is asserting their status as subject in relation to the (other) object or who it is who is denied their basic right to a human identity: to do this in the first place is rude and disrespectful, it is not funny or charming, it is demeaning. That doesn't mean that feminists don't do it, hell, that doesn't mean that *I* don't do it, but I, and many other people - whether they identify as feminists or not - are conscious of affording this basic respect. As such we *try* (and sometimes fail) to treat other people with the basic modicum of decency that we except for ourselves.
Point (b), the performance of gender, can of course apply to a whole lot of other social performances, however it effectively is a discussion of social power, performing dominance and subordination. Basic Aristotelian philosophy elucidates on the notion of dichotomies and how they frame our thinking. It's acknowledged that these dichotomies operate in a hierarchical fashion, with one term in the pair (term A) dominating the other (term Not A) - we assign values to these terms: light/dark, day/night, masculine/feminine. As such when people "subvert" these paradigms, we are made conscious of them, and possibly evaluate them more. By way of example, I would ask you to think about how you, or other people you know, would react when other factors are also subverted. For example, it might be cute (albeit disrespectful) when some sweet, young thing pinches your behind and shimmies off onto the dance floor. How would you react if she was, simply put, much larger than you, performing a masculinity beyond objectification - one that incorporates the "is she a she, or a he?" In my experience, a lot of "masculine" men are threatened by this. Let's take this a step further - what if it was a man who pinched your behind and blew a kiss? The fact is that this behaviour is negitively responded to (by men) and perceived as threatening. This is why courts accepted Homosexual Panic and Homosexual Advance defences to murder and assault for so long (if you want specifics on these cases, send me a message and I can provide you with case law, legislative responses and other studies). So the short point is yes, this behaviour is threatening, it impinges on the physical autonomy of the individual targeted, it is a demonstration of social dominance - I can touch you without your permission (this is commonly known as "assault", by the way) and you are unable to respond to this in any socially sanctioned way that is deemed reasonable but proportionate.
Autonomy, physical integrity and plain old fashioned respect are feminist issues that matter.
If you do want to continue this discussion, I'd be happy to explain further. #feminism
11/08/09
11/08/09
A: I generally agree, and this is why I don't randomly slap girls on their butts or make cat calls (I too find this behavior stupid), but there are people out there who enjoy being objectified (male and female alike) so one can't generalize these things or make absolute statements about them.
Which brings me back to my original statement. How one reacts to a behavior is often what defines that behavior. If someone is annoying you, complaining is giving them the reaction they want (the guys who slap asses expect an angry reaction most of the time, they often like it), instead ignoring them or laughing it off takes the power away from them, and throws them off balance. You aren't going to stop a guy from slapping another ass by yelling at him.
B: I am a straight guy who is often approached and hit on by gay men. I find it flattering. I know many men are bothered by it, but I am not because I am comfortable with my sexuality. I just laugh it off, turn them down if they are insistent, and that's that. Hell, I have a gay friend who I met when he hit on me. I have even been approached on the street by a guy thinking I was a male prostitute (which is really odd since I wasn't dressed in any manner suggesting that)! I found it HILARIOUS. And so did he. Most girls I know would have been furious. This also all applies to "people larger than me" as you politely put it. I just don't care because I am not interested, and I don't give them a hard time about it because I know someone else out there might be waiting for them to do exactly that.
If a gay guy pinches my ass and I am bothered by that, it is as much my fault as his. So I choose not to be bothered by it, and everyone is happier! When you flip out out at someone, you are not changing their mind, you are simply confirming the stereotype they have of people who don't respond well to such advances.
To wrap up, I absolutely agree that such behavior is rude and stupid, but one's response to such behavior is also stupid if one pointlessly gets angry, and in some cases can even be harmful to one's self, or one's cause.
Thank you again, for responding to me politely and thoughtfully. #feminism
11/05/09
Pro-choice: "Life continues after birth." #feminism
11/05/09
"Yes," quoth I, "how dare she be unappealing to you."
Har har har, laughs all around.
"Because," I continued, deciding that the pot had not been sufficiently stirred, "that is all women are good for, after all."
Uncomfortable stares, quiet chuckles, followed by uncomfortable silence, broken by my boyfriend, who said, "Uh oh. We have a feminist in the room."
"Actually, honey," I said, "there are two feminists in the room."
"Right," he said, "Because I'm one too, right?"
"Right."
You know what? I made those boys uncomfortable. And they may hesitate to hang out around again. But I am so glad that I said something instead of sitting there quietly and remonstrating with my sweetie about it later. If those boys are too uncomfortable to hang out with me, it's their loss. My peace of mind is worth the lack of their company. #feminism
11/06/09
11/06/09
;) #feminism
11/05/09
An example is a friend updated his facebook status to say "twilight is porn for women." to which I replied: "because all women like twilight, and no women like to watch porn..."
His response was "Lydia, no... it's funny" and that was it. So I said "Only a little sexist."
I know it's stupid, but I feel like every time I call out a friend who says something sexist they laugh it off like I'm overreacting and making mountains out of mole hills. It's annoying, because I know they don't realize they're being sexist. And if they do they don't care, or they're doing it on purpose just to piss me off.
I don't understand how they could be so careless about suppressing an entire population of people. Especially because they go to church and claim to be compassionate Christians.
11/05/09
11/06/09
11/06/09
I don't think he meant any harm by his statement, particularly since I have heard many women say similar things about the show!
As a guy, I am going to find a girl far more worthy of my respect if she can handle humor which isn't as clean cut and boring as possible. If you draw the line as close as possible to you, then you are making people constantly tip-toe around you, even when they mean no insult (and the majority of the people around them don't take it as insulting, and I bet most women don't find that statement insulting at all). How does this help you or your cause? #feminism
11/06/09
Correct. The idea is, rather than create an offensive/defensive dynamic (i.e., he is behaving offensively, and you are responding defensively) which ALWAYS results in failure for the party on the defensive, you have "taken tempo," or seized control of the argument and forced him to respond on the defensive, thereby weakening his position and creating a situation in which "idiotic patriarchy" is no longer the norm from which people deviate.
Of course he didn't mean any harm, but in what way is that pertinent? Public shame is a bio-psychological system that allows society to train human beings to not behave like morons. If you do not take advantage of it to train people to not behave like idiots?
Besides that, why should the awarding of your respect be a relevant consideration? The very fact that you are evaluating the situation according to whether or not you would respect a woman for appreciating your sense of humor, rather than according to whether or not a woman would lose respect for you for making a stupid joke, indicates that your paradigm is completely off-kilter. #feminism
11/06/09
What you and she are doing does more harm to feminism than just laughing along with him at how silly people get over Twilight.
I don't base my respect on women solely on how they take a joke, but I do find a woman who can take a harmless joke to be much cooler than one who starts throwing insults or calling every little thing "sexist".
There is ABSOLUTELY sexism out there, and it can be awful, but this is not sexism, and it is not of any benefit to you to call him out on it. And knowing guys, it actually makes feminists look worse in their eyes, because we don't call girls out every time they make a possibly sexist comment.
I am not saying "never respond" or always "laugh it off", I am saying you are drawing the line WAY too close and harming yourself in the process. #feminism
11/05/09
So I have come to interpret "pro-life" as decidedly death seeking. Those two words together now make me shudder. And I have a wariness about Christianity because of it's close association with "pro-lifers". (Are there pro-lifers who are not Christians?) #feminism
11/05/09
11/05/09
I am pro-choice, and pro-life. I believe that the possibility of a new life should never, ever take precedence over the autonomy of an existing, established one. #feminism
11/05/09
11/05/09
Blah. I can't stand the far right. #feminism
11/05/09