The Sickest Burn You've Ever Heard (or Delivered)

It’s common occurrence: You get into a verbal altercation with someone, mumble something dumb and then later that day come up with the perfect, now useless comeback. Far fewer are the moments when that witty retort arrives at perfect moment and lets you verbally obliterate your opponent with a single turn of phrase.… » 4/17/15 8:00pm 4/17/15 8:00pm

Your Most Embarrassing Moment at a Middle or High School Dance

As a rule, middle and high school are the most embarrassing times of a person’s life and school dances are where we experience the worst of it. Not only are we expected to move our awkward growing bodies in a way that’s deemed acceptable and graceful by other humans, but we’re also risking awkward boners, romantic… » 4/10/15 8:40pm 4/10/15 8:40pm

The Worst Place You Ever Got Sick

Welcome back to Pissing Contest, where every week we try to outdo each other with our craziest real life stories. Today, the Jezebel staff is feeling a little rough after a Thursday night spent welcoming new staff writer Bobby Finger with karaoke and too much beer, so we’re using our pain to inspire this week’s theme:… » 4/03/15 7:50pm 4/03/15 7:50pm

Your Most Over-the-Top Emotional Meltdown

Sometimes shit in life becomes too much and something—be it small or large—pushes you over the emotional edge. Often these bouts of OH GOD MY FUCKING LIFE FUCK YOU FUCK ME FUCK EVERYTHING are accompanied by shouting, crying and general displays of melodrama that you're sure to feel dumb and embarrassed about later. So… » 3/13/15 8:30pm 3/13/15 8:30pm

The Funniest, Weirdest Thing You Did as a Kid

Over the past week, an unnamed Gawker Media dad has been bringing his four-year-old into the office. While you might (somewhat rightfully) be thinking of us as a group of cold and unfeeling bloggers, this little girl has been warming our hearts and making us laugh continually with her adorable and zany antics. The… » 2/20/15 8:40pm 2/20/15 8:40pm

Your Most Insane Celebrity Encounters

One of the chillest parts of being alive is how some people are considered inherently more valuable than other people. The most valuable, of course, are celebrities, i.e. human beings with symmetrical faces who appear on camera and recite words for too much money. Every now and then, we normal peasants gets the chance… » 1/30/15 8:20pm 1/30/15 8:20pm

The Most Embarrassing Person You've Ever Had Sex With

In a life full of sexual misadventures, not everyone you choose to have sex with is going to be a total winner. In some cases, your sexual partner might even be a complete embarrassment who you can't even tell your friends about, but you go through with it anyway because they're hot, you're horny or, hey, maybe… » 1/16/15 6:20pm 1/16/15 6:20pm

Your Most Embarrassing Holiday Party Stories

It's office holiday party season and you know what that means—spending precious post-work hours with a bunch of people who you'd never elect to spend your time with and trying to walk the fine line between drunk enough to make your coworkers bearable and so drunk that you end up horrifying your boss. Of course,… » 12/12/14 5:30pm 12/12/14 5:30pm