Who's Sabotaging Your Relationships? It Could Be Darwin, But You're…

It's been awhile since I talked about my attention deficit disorder, maybe because the topic overwhelms me and the meds don't work like they used to, and I have a side of me — the side that thinks I could be "bipolar" too — that thinks ADHD is a scam cooked up by Big Pharma to sell decongestants that had been ruled… » 6/17/08 2:30pm 6/17/08 2:30pm

Here is a story that is all shades of "Yes, capitalism, it does breed evil": Alan Hesketh of Connecticut was just arrested at JFK airport for trafficking hundreds of images of child porn. He is 61 years old. His job was directing patents for Pfizer, so basically his purpose in life was to make sure his company made as… » 3/28/08 2:40pm 3/28/08 2:40pm

Is Not Being Horny A Diesase? Okay, Probably Not, But Should Big…

Do we need a women's Viagra? (Wiagra?) The pharmaceutical industrial complex is working on it, and the quest has divided the feminazi bonerkiller ranks! Some of us think we deserve insurance-paid hornytime parity with men. But the thing is: while erectile dysfunction is actually, you know, a palpable condition, "not… » 3/12/08 5:00pm 3/12/08 5:00pm

Do We Have The Ten Commandments Because Moses Was High On Ayahuasca?

An Israeli religious scholar and professor of cognitive psychology is advancing the thesis that the Ten Commandments, the moral foundation of the religious faith that have guided billions and billions of people for thousands of years, were revealed that fateful night on Mt. Sinai because Moses was high. On what?… » 3/04/08 12:00pm 3/04/08 12:00pm

Five Reasons To Love Viagra

It's the tenth anniversary of Viagra! And given this rare nexus of the pharmaceutical industry, the institutionalized sexism that so famously led insurers to reimburse the Viagra prescriptions of the same men whose girlfriends couldn't get their fucking birth control covered, and the gazillions of terabytes of… » 2/26/08 2:00pm 2/26/08 2:00pm

Will The Quit Smoking Pill Make Me More Psychotic Than Quitting Smoking?

If you're one of those smokers who is actually looking to like, quit or whatever, you have probably heard of Chantix, or seen evidence of Pfizer's gazillion dollar marketing campaign for its new smoking cessation drug that according to a story in this week's New York also has the fun side effect of making you into a… » 2/13/08 5:00pm 2/13/08 5:00pm

Mysterious Magenta Fibers Crawling Out Of Your Skin? You're Not Alone!

The only thing worse than a disease wherein mysterious microscopic fibers grow out of your arms and legs and cause unbearable itching is the creeping sensation of reading about one of those diseases. Which sort of explains, I think, why the medical community has long dismissed Morgellons disease as a mental illness.… » 1/22/08 12:00pm 1/22/08 12:00pm

Is Your Antidepressant A Big Crock Of Shit?

A dozen popular antidepressants don't work nearly as well as the "data" doctors cite to tell you they do, according to an FDA review. (The whole graph is after the jump.) The biggest grade inflators were Serzone, Zoloft, Remeron, Wellbutrin SR, Paxil and Cymbalta. Effexor, the drug that shame-ridden shrink confessed… » 1/17/08 12:00pm 1/17/08 12:00pm

What Vague Pharmaceutical Industry-Invented Malady Do You Have?

Fibromyalgia. It sounds so daunting — like angina! which also sounds like vagina, or chlamydia. And if the pharmaceutical industry's multibillion-dollar marketing machine has any sort of pathway into your consuming psyche, you're probably aware of this hot new disease. Hasn't the industry gotten so much better at… » 1/14/08 5:20pm 1/14/08 5:20pm

Did Britney's $600-A-Bottle "Smart Drug" Get Her Knocked Up?

Pillhead, Jezebel's resident pharmaceutical expert, has been wanting to review the wonder drug Provigil for some time now. It makes you smart! And happy! And thin! But it's not yet generic. And...it didn't really seem to be working for Britney Spears. In fact, it could have gotten her pregnant. After the jump, a very… » 11/28/07 4:20pm 11/28/07 4:20pm

In The Age Of Dog Antidepressants, Why Refuse Miracle Migraine Meds?

I don't get migraines, but I can assure you on the basis of the way I medicate a hangover that if I did I would most certainly be a pussy and steal a few tablets of my roommate's miracle drug Topamax. I mean, I have never even experienced these, but from the sounds of what New York Times blogger Judith Warner deals… » 10/29/07 7:00pm 10/29/07 7:00pm

Elizabeth Wurtzel, Hot Crazy Depressive Genius Writer Slut, Is Now 40

A story in yesterday's Times about gratuitously hot Prozac Nation author Elizabeth Wurtzel professed to be about how she's in law school now, but obviously the big news is that she is forty. Forty. Which makes her not only old, but older than 90% of her classmates at law school, so instead of being the hot ex-rock… » 10/29/07 12:00pm 10/29/07 12:00pm

Pill Review: Too Much Crapping Is Not A Weight Watcher's Alli...

The news that Janet Jackson will be penning a diet book reminded me I wanted to tell you a story, readers, and I hope you've caught lunch already because it's a story about Alli. Perhaps you recall: I purchased some meaning to review the experience for you, and over the weekend I consumed a few in an experience that… » 10/16/07 4:00pm 10/16/07 4:00pm

The Glamour Guide To Antidepressants: Vaguely Numbing, Unsatisfying

The November Glamour contains a 12-page guide to "the #1 drug women are taking" — antidepressants, duh — replete with tempting pictures of artfully styled colored prescription pills, and as the one person I knew who had never taken them but probably should have, I devoured it in hopes of learning something new. And I… » 10/09/07 5:30pm 10/09/07 5:30pm

Counting Sheep Is For Suckers

The pharmaceutical industry works like the women's magazine industry: attractive people telling you what's wrong with you and how they can fix it in a super underminer-y way so as to send you shame-spiraling toward a lifelong cycle of dependence. Okay, so: Ambien. Why ever would we need it? We consulted Pillhead, who… » 9/19/07 11:30am 9/19/07 11:30am

The Magic Moderation Pill Lindsay Lohan Should Get Ahold Of

Dear readers, I'm sober right now. It's a strange feeling because it's one a.m. I mean, I'm tired but not quite ready to pass out, I am not really thinking up any good jokes. I still don't really feel like washing my face or brushing my teeth, which I kind of expected to be easy, given the little skirmish the… » 7/25/07 12:00pm 7/25/07 12:00pm

Taking Adderall Makes Me Hump Like A Guy

The pharmaceutical industry is sort of like women's magazines: Staffed by blandly attractive people determined to make you feel bad about yourself, and brimming with new ways to kill your libido. But wait! Pillhead may have found the elusive pink Viagra! In her second installment, Jezebel's resident pharmaceutical… » 7/05/07 3:08pm 7/05/07 3:08pm

In Which We Convince Our Friend To Try Alli

The pharmaceutical industry is sort of like women's magazines: staffed by blandly attractive people, determined to make you feel bad about yourself, and brimming with new ways to stop you from being fat! Unlike women's magazines, however, Big Pharma has come up with a few weight loss ideas that actually work, which… » 6/19/07 4:51pm 6/19/07 4:51pm