"Rowdy, romantic outlaw chic" means $840 Gucci shoes. Can one actually walk on sand with those heels? Where's the covered wagon when you need it?

If only the pioneers had had retro radios.

Here's the $13,000 gown! There is something darkly beautiful about it, but would a gothic castle would have been a better backdrop? Too predictable? Seeing this dress in stark bright daylight doesn't seem right.

Is it okay to wear fishnets while horseback riding? Is it okay to wear a $1400 necklace while horseback riding?

Dress: $5,320. Shoes: $790. Stockings: $120. Shooting Prada so close to a horse's ass: Priceless.

I was going to make a joke about the model being mauled to death, but it seemed too grisly. Heh. Sorry.

Dress, $5,060; top, $2,330; Roberto Cavalli. Model Anna Kuchinka says, "If I weren't a model I would be a clinical psychologist." Maybe she can help us process why that Cavalli blouse is more than an airline ticket to Italy?

Yeah... No.

Earlier: Marie Claire's Vietnam Photo Shoot: Apocalypse Wow
Marie Claire's Oh-So-Realistic Trailer Park Photo Shoot
Marie Claire & The 75-Year-Old Bhutanese Model
'Marie Claire' Editors Went To Italy And All They Got Was This Awesome Photo Shoot

The wind tapped like a tired man,
And like a host, "Come in,"
I boldly answered; entered then
My residence within

A rapid, footless guest,
To offer whom a chair
Were as impossible as hand
A sofa to the air.

No bone had he to bind him,
His speech was like the push
Of numerous humming-birds at once

His countenance a billow,
His fingers, if he pass,
Let go a music, as of tunes
Blown tremulous in glass.

He visited, still flitting;
Then, like a timid man,
Again he tapped—'t was flurriedly—
And I became alone.

(From Nature)

Of all the sounds despatched abroad,
There's not a charge to me
Like that old measure in the boughs,
That phraseless melody

The wind does, working like a hand
Whose fingers brush the sky,
Then quiver down, with tufts of tune
Permitted gods and me.

When winds go round and round in bands,
And thrum upon the door,
And birds take places overhead,
To bear them orchestra,

I crave him grace, of summer boughs,
If such an outcast be,
He never heard that fleshless chant
Rise solemn in the tree,

As if some caravan of sound
On deserts, in the sky,
Had broken rank,
Then knit, and passed
In seamless company.

(From Nature)

The wind begun to rock the grass
With threatening tunes and low,—
He flung a menace at the earth,
A menace at the sky.

The leaves unhooked themselves from trees
And started all abroad;
The dust did scoop itself like hands
And throw away the road.

The wagons quickened on the streets,
The thunder hurried slow;
The lightning showed a yellow beak,
And then a livid claw.

The birds put up the bars to nests,
The cattle fled to barns;
There came one drop of giant rain,
And then, as if the hands

That held the dams had parted hold,
The waters wrecked the sky
But overlooked my father's house,
lust quartering a tree.

(The Wind Begun To Rock The Grass)

The daisy follows soft the sun,
And when his golden walk is done,
Sits shyly at his feet.
He, waking, finds the flower near.
"Wherefore, marauder, art thou here?"
"Because, sir, love is sweet!"

We are the flower, Thou the sun!
Forgive us, if as days decline,
We nearer steal to Thee, —
Enamoured of the parting west,
The peace, the flight, the amethyst,
Night's possibility!

(From Time And Eternity)

Earlier: Bon Joor, C'est Paris LOLVogue Encore!
What's The Message Behind A Black Man In Heels On The Cover Of Vogue?
French Vogue: Now With More Bearded Drag Queens
Olivier Theyskens Totally Naked in French Vogue: Hot or Not?
Mon Dieu! C'est French LOLVogue: Shoulders, Champagne and Cigarettes
French 'Vogue': Devil Worship Is The New Black!

See those flyaways? Someone needs Frizz-Ease. Dress, $818, Lorena Calma.

Water, water everywhere, and not a drop to drink.
Vest, $338, top, $208, skirt, $218, BCBG MaxAzria Runway; belt, $178, BCBG MaxAzria.

Dress, $2,460, Bottega Veneta. Flight from New York City to Ho Chi Min City via Kayak.com, $1,172.

Someone's got her eye on that bicycle, because someone's shoes hurt so bad she needs to sit down. Also, someone wishes this shoot were on the beach in Thailand instead.

If you look very very very closely you can see the aforementioned Donna Karan Collection skirt, a bargain at $1,895. The top is $595, the belt is $695, also from Donna Karan collection. You can get a custom-made silk dress in Saigon for around $65.

Spring has sprung, why are you so glum? Depressing. Beautiful, but depressing.

"This Zac Posen dress is price upon request, which means you can't afford it," she whispered, as she contemplated plunging into the unforgiving waves.

Earlier: Marie Claire's Oh-So-Realistic Trailer Park Photo Shoot
Marie Claire & The 75-Year-Old Bhutanese Model
'Marie Claire' Editors Went To Italy And All They Got Was This Awesome Photo Shoot

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LOLVogue: Sheez Over Ayteen, I Sware
LOLVogue: Hungry Moddles & Rorschach Tests
Bon Joor, C'est Paris LOLVogue Encore!
LOLVogue: Carbs, Botox & Pink-Eye
LOLVogue: Good Help Is Hard To Find
Mon Dieu! C'est French LOLVogue: Shoulders, Champagne and Cigarettes
LOLVogue: Starving Models & Marionettes
LOL'Vogue': Scarves, Silverware & Scooters