Know what's great about Carrie Underwood's dress? You just know from sense memory that it feels like one of those Barbie gowns.


Don't worry, Selena Gomez, there's enough glitz to go around!


So, over the weekend I was considering the purchase of a pair of silk tap shorts. And the saleslady said to me, "the great thing is, when you can't decide between a skirt or pants, you reach for the shorts." Wonder if that was Chani Christie's process.


I like how Melissa Etheridge always puts just enough thought into her selections to make you think. Think about...life. And sequins.


Ah, the barber pole. The last refuge of a scoundrel.


Reba McIntyre may or may not have ridden here. Through a briar patch. Western-style, presumably.


Shakira looks adorable, is apparently going to walk through a Medieval town square filled with excrement for an audience with the king.


That's good: otherwise we might not have been sure where Kelly Clarkson's breasts were.


It's like Toni Braxton's leg is about to perform a Gypsy Rose Lee-style striptease.


What Phoebe Price has to do with American Music, I can't say. What she has to do with "never disappointing" is a lot.


Oh, but you know what's apparently over my head? Leona Lewis's dress.


Paula Abdul, once again, dressed for a ball that only she is attending. This may be genius. It may be tragic.


Rihanna's die-cut doily: the evening's most creative - and prettiest - look.


Is Alicia Keys' frock a) for a figure-skating engagement later in the evening b) a bet she lost c) Andy Kaufman-style performance art or, and I very much fear it's this, d) none of the above?


Kristen, psst...there's a strip missing from your dress. Oh, it's supposed to be like that? I'll just...walk over here. There's Val Kilmer. In a hat.


Remember those weird "toys" where there were a bunch of pins in a box and you stuck your hand or, if you were brave, your face in, and it sort of hurt, but at the end you had a really neat, ephemeral impression of it? Fergie does!


I'll say this for Bobby Trendy. He's gotten his picture up on Getty.

[Images via Getty]

Vyxsin Fiala is a technical "ugly," yes, and bonus points for pop-topping, but "deliberates" are really a sub-category.


Phoebe Price, on the other hand, seems to be in perpetual earnest. Therein lies her enduring fascination.


Shar Jackson's gown seems to be embellished with fishing lures.


Olivia Wilde's getup is like "David's Bridal" crossed with "hell."


Oy vey. Oy vey. Yes, this is Christina Applegate. And yes, she seems to have purchased this from that rack of forgotten bridesmaid's dresses that props up the wall at every Salvation Army.


It's impossible not to wonder if Kristen Quintrall sewed this herself. In which case, E for effort?

[Images via Getty]

[Los Angeles, June 23. Image via WENN]

[Cannes, May 19. Image via Getty]

[Los Angeles, March 10. Image via WENN]

[Los Angeles, CA. February 12. Image via Getty.]

10.Solange Knowles


9. Lady Victoria Hervey


8.Paula Abdul


7.Madonna


6. Jacki O


5. Holly Madison


4. Phoebe Price


3. Erin Wasson


2.Anna Wintour.
1.Alex McCord

Earlier: The Best Gowns of 2008

Given the sophistication and nuance of songs like "Ur So Gay" and "I Kissed A Girl" it's perhaps unsurprising that Katy Perry's look is equally rooted in gimmicks. But maybe if Katy started dressing like the lovely grown-up lady she is, she'd grow up a little? Yes, people do compare you to Zooey Deschanel, Katy, but they're thinking "...if Zooey was in a community theatre production of Gypsy." There are elegant and grown-up ways to do vintage (see Von Teese, Dita.)


Policies aside, Nancy Pfotenhauer's soccer-mom crop and weirdly severe getups have always inspired dismay. Some sofetr colors and a more updated 'do would do wonders!


We almost feel bad mentioning Perez' look - he's such a sad sack, albeit a mean-spirited bullying one. Clearly a lot of his antics stem from low self-esteem; maybe if he dressed like he respected himself more, this would carry over into other spheres of his life. Tailoring, tailoring, tailoring is the name of the game, Mario!



Stylista's Kate really grew on us. Which is why we're going to say this: Kate, it has nothing to do with money and nothing to do with victimizing you when we say that cleavage is not appropriate for the office. You're a lovely girl who could rock her curves in some Mad Men-esque daywear and you'll be doing yourself a big favor if you start letting people pay attention to your ideas.


Taylor Momsen is really standing in for a lot of her generation here, as this year saw a shocking number of little girls playing dress-up. Taylor, however, was a particular offender, morphing seemingly overnight from wholesome teen to sullen sex kitten, and making herself look absurdly young in the process. She should profit by the flawless example of costars Leighton and Blake, both of whom do youthful chic like nobody's business.


Strawberry Shortcake's tweeny makeover was one of the most disturbing of '08. Shortcake lost the freckles and curls, aged about seven years and morphed from a chubby little girl to a lithe Lolita. Our advice: make-under. Stat.


Phoebe Price is obviously a stunning woman who's made a career of dressing horribly. And she could really improve by - no, you know what? After her fashion she's unimprovable...and obviously knows what she's doing.


Change We Could Live With [New York Times]

[Images via Getty]

The Good:
Cindy, Rande, Presley and Kaia: Disgustingly perfect (looking) family.
When is Elisabeth Rohm going to pop that baby out already?
Aw, John and Joyce Varvatos don't look like a fashion designer and his wife, they look like they could belong to my shul.

The Bad:
Angie Harmon is lost in this nude column of a shift.
You know how Cindy Crawford looks dressed up even though she's in jeans? Melina Kanakaredes doesn't.
Welcome, Julie Moran, to my shit list: Do not dress your daughters in matching outfits.
Danielle Panabaker: 21 going on 41 in a "casual separates" combo like this.
Dear Heather Thomas: You scare me.

The Ugly:
Joely Fisher ought be charged with crimes against womanity for this outfit.
Phoebe Price came dressed as an extra from Plan 9 From Outer Space.

[Images via Bauer-Griffin.]