[New York, December 13. Image via Getty]

NEW YORK - DECEMBER 13: Rocco the cat and Cassie the Golden Retriever share a moment at the ASPCA Holiday blessing for the animals at Christ Church on December 13, 2009 in New York City. (Photo by Brad Barket/Getty Images)

So, we're starting with Fetchdog first. While these bedding products are not specifically holiday-themed, they can't be overlooked. On the one hand: Isn't it weird to offer your dog fur to lie on — even if it's faux? On the other hand: Think of the sense of accomplishment that Pomeranian must be feeling — he's conquered a gigantic jaguar.

When they talk about your dog's "inner jungle animal," do they mean jungle like the music? Is this Pug headed to a nü rave?

Aw, the chew toy shaped like a peppermint is really cute. As are the gingerbread men.

(Click "full size" to enlarge)

Let's face it: The item called a "Starstruck Party Collar" is really a jester outfit. Your dog is a joke! It's his job to keep you entertained. As for the Weimaraner in antlers, his expression is: "Please. I'm begging you. Take them off."

Of all these items, the velvet bell collar seems the least offensive; the fact that the Santa Hat comes with a scarf boggles the mind. The "reindog bandana" is just dumb. That Vizsla agrees. And would like a treat.

I'll admit that I like the Ho Ho Fleece Hoodie. Are you guys going to start hounding me? I'm afraid to incur your wrath. Let's move on.

The awesome thing about the Doctors Fosters & Smith catalog cover is how the photograph solidifies all the stereotypes about cats and dogs. Cats are savvy opportunists; dogs are lazy good-for-nothings who sleep when there's work to be done.

The reindeer costume doesn't work, but the Santa Suit is kind of brilliant. That Boston Terrier looks quite sharp, what with the matching socks.

I eat meat and buy sometimes buy leather, but knowing that rawhide chews are made from cowskin, seeing all of it together like this makes me queasy. And that "bone" is too big. TOO BIG.

Puggle says: "She's a bitch. No, really. An actual bitch."

WHY does that Elf Hat have brown pointed ears?!?!?! Wait. I don't want to know.

"Just For Cats" ought to read "Just For Krazy Kat Ladies Who Like To Advertise Their Love Of Cats."

You know this look. This is the look of a fierce feline contemplating scratching some idiot human's eyes out. Ideally the fool who adorned him in a Collar Ruff. But anyone will do.

Fake colors make rawhides cuter.

Another put-upon puss plots revenge.

Fetchdog [Official Site]
Doctors Fosters & Smith [Official Site]

Earlier:
Doctors Foster & Smith: The Crazy Cat Lady Catalog

Dear Santa: Have You Seen The December J. Crew?
Barneys: Wooing With Witticisms & Wallet-Emptying Wares
Ashro: Stop Being Such A Slob And Get Yourself A Suit, Hat & Wig
19 Crappy & Crazy Christmas Gifts From Sky Mall
Silver Belles & Butt Floss: Christmas At Frederick's Of Hollywood
Preclears On Your List? Shop The Scientology Holiday Catalog

All previous catalog posts

Earlier: "Are There Cat Gentlemen, Too?"

But her parents recall that Taylor's rise to fame has not been easy. Her father said "you could write 10 pages" about what he had to do to get her into the Irish Amateur Boxing Association. •  Meet Diane Macchino, the so-called "Cement Princess." Macchino owns eight cement trucks, which she refers to as her "babies," manages a cement yard, wears three inch heels, and fights sexual harassment on what sounds like a daily basis. Macchino says shes had trouble from competitors, who don't like the fact that a women is getting into the business, but she has big plans: "This Cement Princess will be back like a woman scorned. Offering the best product at the best prices, honest service with a smile, and a woman's touch." • Police have discovered a seventh body in the Cleveland, Ohio home of convicted rapist Anthony Sowell. He was arrested last week after the decomposing bodies of six African-American women were found in his house and buried in his yard. • Three female college students from North Dakota have gone missing. Authorities refuse to speculate on what has happened to the girls, but a friend reports receiving two late night phone calls that mentioned water and asked for help. •  The Georgian Court Hotel in Vancouver has recently reopened with a new feature: A floor dedicated exclusively to female travelers. The "Orchid Floor" will provide extra amenities, including curling irons, yoga mats, and a collection of women's magazines. • According to a new government report, America's disturbingly high infant mortality rate can be blamed primarily on poor access to prenatal care and the resulting premature births. To make things more depressing, many low income mothers do not have access to proper care, which accounts for the high numbers of infant deaths among women in the US. •  Subjects in a Canadian study looked at photos of men's faces and said they thought those with wider, longer faces were more aggressive. The volunteer's guesses correlated highly to the men's actual aggressive behavior. "The greater the width-to-height ratios, the higher the aggressive rating, suggesting that we may use this aspect of facial structure to judge potential aggression in others," said the researchers. • Evelyn Border, 56, and her daughter Tina Griekspoor, 35, stood outside a Pennsylvania courthouse for four and a half hours today holding signs that read: "I stole from a 9-year-old girl on her birthday! Don't steal or this could happen to you!" The women, who were convicted of stealing the girl's gift card when she put it down on a shelf at Wal-Mart, agreed to hold the signs rather than serving jail time. • Ingmar "Iggy" Sprude, who appeared on the cover of Gulfshore Life magazine's recent issue, was arrested for allegedly pulling the fire alarm inside a Naples, Florida nightclub twice on Halloween. He was dressed as Pamela Anderson at the time. • In addition to taking care of the grounds, White House Horticulturist Dale Henry has developed a relationship with many presidential pets. Henry is Bo's primary walker when Michelle Obama is out of town. He says he's amazed by the public's fascination with With House pets: "Sometimes I think they're more interested in the pets than the president." • Voters at a town hall meeting in Dudley, Massachusetts have made it illegal to own more than three cats without being granted a $50 residential kennel license. The law was created after the neighbor of Mary Ellen Richards said her 15 cats are destroying her yard. Richards is selling her house and says she's moving to a "more cat-friendly community." •

[San Jose, Costa Rica; October 20. Image via Getty]

Isabel Arrieta pets two of her 100 stray dogs on October 20, 2009, at the central street of San Jose during the inauguration of six sculptures that remember and honor all stray dogs in the city. Costa Rican artist Francisco Munguia is the author of the six steel sculptures built with the support of Arca de Noe —an organization that rescues animals— a Costa Rican magazine and San Jose's Municipality. AFP PHOTO / Mayela Lopez (Photo credit should read MAYELA LOPEZ/AFP/Getty Images)

• Doctors from Kansas State University advise that pet owners count calories for their overweight pets. According to Dr. Susan Nelson, treats should only make up 10% of a pet's diet, and owners should follow the serving guidelines provided on pet food packaging. • This summer, 12-year-old Jennifer Valdivia caught the Ryan Howard's 200th home run at a Phillies game. Immediately after the game, Howard asked her to trade the ball for an autographed, brand new baseball. She agreed, but her lawyer, Norm Kent, is suing the Phillies for taking away such a valuable piece of property from an unknowing kid. •  Under a new curriculum, Scottish children as young as four will be learning elements of sex education in school. The program is designed to build upon knowledge year by year, says Maureen McKenna. "What we have is a broad curriculum which deals with emotions, friendships, self-esteem and respect as well as physical development and sexual health." •  Rite Aid has changed their formally paternalistic policy on pregnant women and flu shots and will now allow them access to the vaccine without a prescription. • Australian Labor MP Belinda Neal said that her recent decision to stay with her husband, who, it has been revealed, had an affair with at 26-year-old, is a "feminist" choice. "I made a decision to work within my marriage but certainly I don't see myself as some downtrodden person who is being submissive," she said. "I see it as a powerful decision to take control of my marriage and a joint decision to work to improve it." •  Bill O'Reilly says the reason Michele Bachmann gets criticized so much is because she's so "good-looking." • And not, presumably, because she says things like this: "the American people are looking to voices like Sean Hannity, Rush Limbaugh, Mark Levin, Glenn Beck." • A female religious leader in Egypt has proposed modifying the country's marriage certificate to allow women to list their status as "never been married" in addition to the current categories of "Virgin, "divorced," or "widowed." She says this would protect the honor of rape victims. • Women are much more likely than men to be kicked out of the military under the "don't ask, don't tell" policy, and the discrepancy is especially pronounced in the Air Force. • A new female condom now available in the US is thinner, cheaper, and less likely to squeak during sex. • According to a recent report released by the World Economic Forum, "No country in the world has yet to eliminate the gender gap." They cite "gender fatigue" as one possible reason that the gender gap persists. Workers are accustomed to thinking that their organization is different, that they do not recognize examples of sexism in the workplace. • 

• A new report reveals a steep climb in the number of women smoking roll-up cigarettes. The Times mentions famous smokers Kate Winslet, Emma Thompson and Helena Bonham-Carter as forerunners of the new trend. •  According to a study funded by the U.S. National Institutes of Health and the Boston Obesity Nutrition Research Center, every one point increase in a woman's B.M.I. decreases her chances of surviving until age 70 by 12%. The study examined more than 17,000 female nurses over the course of 30 years. • A California woman has settled her lawsuit with the doctors who refused to artificially inseminate her due to her sexual orientation. She says the the doctors treated her with hormones, but refused to inseminate her, saying that their beliefs prevented them from doing so. • A Philadelphia Eagles fan says she was refused entrance into the stadium on Sunday because she was wearing a T-shirt that read "Losers fight pitbulls." The security guards told her she would not be allowed in unless she turned her Michael Vick-hating tee inside out. • Bassist/composer Meshell Ndegeocello on her new album, Devil's Halo: "I love the myth of the devil: the fallen angel who became jealous. So the symbolism of the Devil's Halo for me is that there are gray areas in music and life." •  A Chicago auto dealership is accused of sexual harassment after its salesmen allegedly made abusive remarks to female workers and called female customers "dingbats." • Jennie Litvack, goddaughter to jazz legend Dizzy Gillespie, talks to NPR about her relationship with Dizzy and her role as the shofar-blower for her synagogue. •  A 10-year-old British girl recently put her grandma up for auction on eBay. She started the bidding at 99p, and described her grandmother as "annoying and moaning a lot." Although there were quite a few offers, eBay removed the ad, saying "obviously, we have rules about the selling of people." •  A North Carolina man is accused of circumcising two of his sons at home with no anesthetic, and beating their mother when she tried to protect one of them. This model family man apparently has two wives and 14 children. • The Broadway production of David Mamet's "Oleanna" — about a professor accused of sexual harassment — will be accompanied by a talkback session with Anucha Browne Sanders, who sued the New York Knicks and Madison Square Garden for sexual harassment in 2007. Also on tap for a talkback: Montel Williams. • A photograph showing naked, 10-year-old Brooke Shields (originally taken, disturbingly, for the Playboy publication Sugar n' Spice), has been removed from a Tate Modern exhibition because British police say it could violate obscenity laws. • Joe Biden says the passage of the Violence Against Women Act, which he sponsored 15 years ago, was "his proudest accomplishment," and that the next step is to pass such a measure internationally. • A Kansas City judge has been accused of using foul language and masturbating while in the midst of a divorce hearing. Kimberly Ireland claims that Judge Kevin P. Moriarty asked her about her underwear and her sex life. Moriarty responded to Ireland's accusations by interfering with her divorce proceedings and launching an investigation into her private life. •