Macaulay Culkin and Pete Doherty are now BFFs and roommates in Paris, a pairing that was clearly designed in a lab by a Great Idea Scientist.

I woke up this morning to a very enlightening article in my inbox about how Katy Perry and Rihanna continued their "alleged gay affair" at the VMAs. They did? Guys, how could we have missed it? They were so obvious. For instance, they clapped for each other with the back of their hands on the other's thigh whenever…

The Lifetime biopic Liz & Dick — in which Lindsay Lohan will play Elizabeth Taylor — hasn't started filming yet, but there's already plenty of high drama… behind the scenes. The producer is being called an idiot for casting your girl LL; and now, Lindz is unhappy with her choices for Dick. Three actors are in the…

A man named Alpha Lorenzo Walker and his conspirator Tamara Eileen Diaz were arrested earlier this month for trying to extort Stevie Wonder and were the subject of myriad tired late-night show monologue jokes for fucking up what you'd imagine for obvious offensive-punchline-type reasons would literally be the easiest…

After CBS announced that production on Two and a Half Men has been halted due to Sheen's "statements, conduct and condition," the actor sent a series of text messages to Good Morning America today saying that he is 100% clean and that he plans on showing up to work anyway. Because nothing says sobriety like announcing…

• Tom Ford, a man who immobilized his forehead with Botox, thinks people should go naked. Especially, well... "Fat women almost always look better without the constraint and lumpy pinching of clothes, all the straps and elastic squeezing and sucking." [ContactMusic]

• Karl Lagerfeld gave the Pirelli calendar — which traditionally features "artistic" nude shots of top models — the theme of ancient Greek and Roman mythology. And he added one (clothed) Julianne Moore and, a Pirelli first, several (unclothed) men. [Telegraph]

• Michelle Obama wore Donna Karan to the $10,000-a-head fundraiser Karan threw her. PETA protested the event, because Karan uses fur, and PETA will do anything for a headline. "She is gorgeous and smart," said guest Diane von Furstenberg. [WWD]

• Angelina Jolie is pleading for help on behalf of Pakistan's flood victims.

• Well, this should be interesting: Lindsay Lohan's lawyer, Shawn Chapman Holley, has resigned. [Mirror]

• According to January Jones' rep, the now-infamous incident involving Jones' Range Rover hitting several parked cars—and Jones supposedly fleeing the scene soon after—was not as scandalous as the tabloids are making it seem:

• Prince William MIGHT ask Kate Middleton to marry him tomorrow, since June 3 and June 4 are "mysteriously blocked out" in the Buckingham Palace calendar.

• Guess who is being called "unlucky in love again"? Jennifer Aniston, of course. That's because Gerard Butler has been spotted looking "lovey-dovey" with a "French beauty" named Laurie Cholewa.

• In an interview Michael Lohan responded to Lindsay Lohan calling him her "ex-father" on Twitter saying, "maybe she's divorcing me today, but she'll remarry me once she gets her life back."

• Oh, snap: Heidi Montag says: "No longer is my husband the face of my business or managing my career."

• In an exclusive interview with The Insider that airs tomorrow, Lindsay Lohan discusses her issues with her father and takes Niecy Nash on a tour of her messy house, revealing that she thinks she's a hoarder.

• Get ready for another summer of fist-pumping and GTL: the entire cast of MTV's Jersey Shore has signed on for a second season, though this time the crew will be headed to "a new destination." [MTV]

• Will Lady Gaga team up with Simon Cowell and be a judge on X Factor?

• Mariah Carey called Nick Cannon's radio show and pretended to be a woman who loves watching porn.

[Paris, January 19. Image via Splash.]