To be fair, Jenny's two non-inbred older children seem sort of convincingly geeky and articulate. And also, if you were going to write some sort of "intellectual" book about incest, "Deaves" would be a kind of decent surname to start with yes? ("Celeste" might be a touch heavyhanded, though.)

So, a lot of experts are interviewed. This incest thing, it's sort of a fetish! Genetic sexual attraction syndrome, or something. I thought you were supposed to be attracted to people whose genes were less likely to cause congenital heart failure upon merging with yours? Jenny says she found herself "looking at him, sort of going, oh, he's not too bad," and she calls their sex "normal." John says sex is "fantastic." And Jenny's mom has this to say about the two of them: "We used to joke he would turn up once every two years to spend a day with her."

Yeah, um, so. Think Jenny's got abandonment issues she's just too much of an "intellectual" to recognize? Or is the sex really awesome? You decide!

Incest Couple John and Jenny Deaves's first child died [News.com.au]
Mother Glad Truth About Incest Couple Is Out [NineMSN]
Australian Man Fathers Child With Daughter [Times]
Father And Daughter Have A Baby Together After 30-Year Separation [Daily Mail]
Father, Daughter Had Another Child Together [Sydney Morning Herald]

The story about the woman who walked into the University of Michigan frathouse, took a seat on a couch and commenced masturbating for a half hour is full of holes: How come it took her a half hour? Did she not have a vibrator? What sort of woman voluntarily sits on a fraternity house couch? Luckily, Jezzy's automotively inclined brother blogger (haha! brother blogger! so if we sucumbed to his advances it would be INCEST!!) Jalopnik attended the very prestigious institution of higher education that played host to this curious event, so when his expertise met our extensive self-hating self-love experience over IM, we were able to crack the case in approximately 13 minutes. Like Christopher Meloni and Mariska Hartigay! Only bloggers! I mean, WITHOUT the sexual tension!! Why she did it, why they called the cops and the mystery of why they need to get rid of two separate couches solved, after the jump.

Why Two Couches?

InspectorMoe: so in your view
InspectorMoe: is this story true?
InspectorMoe: aren't they sort of pussies for throwing out the couches?
InspectorMoe: Did she actually masturbate on two couches?
InspectorMoe: Or did one couch just catch the other couch's cooties?
Jalopnixxx: The story is totally true. Since most New York Times staff writers come from the University of Michigan, it's got to be the truth. It just has to.
InspectorMoe: could "she" have been a rival frat pledge?
InspectorMoe: I thought they all came from Harvard.
InspectorMoe: how much would you estimate those couches will fetch on eBay?
Jalopnixxx: Yes, they're huge twats for throwing out the couches. One would expect that for many a young and privileged PIKE fratboy, that's the most pussy they could have gotten without paying for it.
InspectorMoe: would you bid?
Jalopnixxx: Oh no, I already have a number of pussy-scented couches
InspectorMoe: hahahaha
InspectorMoe: ha!
InspectorMoe: my couch smells like pussy too, but what do you expect? I'm a BLOGGER
Jalopnixxx: I'm wondering myself why it's two couches they're tossing.

What Took So Long?

InspectorMoe: I love how they're all "Obviously, she was very disturbed."
Jalopnixxx: I'm thinking maybe some of the members may have been spending some time working on their own personal "love-making" techniques on the other couch.
Jalopnixxx: Obviously not. Maybe she was overcome by the PIKE house and their man-musk.
InspectorMoe: I'd be disturbed if it took me a half an hour to come?
Jalopnixxx: I mean, have you ever slept with a frat-boy before?
InspectorMoe: a few
Jalopnixxx: You'd be lucky to come after four or five hours
InspectorMoe: i don't really remember
Jalopnixxx: They on the other hand
InspectorMoe: it was after i'd passed out usually
Jalopnixxx: I'll assume it's a 30-second timeframe for them
InspectorMoe: yeah i don't usually achieve orgasm when i'm blacked out
Jalopnixxx: I can imagine.
InspectorMoe: so yeah um ... if she was there for 30 minutes
InspectorMoe: why did it take them so long to call the police?
InspectorMoe: if they are such pussies
InspectorMoe: and they actually call the police over that sort of thing.
Jalopnixxx: That's an excellent question. I'll cross-apply my answer on the two v. one couch question
Jalopnixxx: It could very well be that she wasn't interested in helping along some of the lovely man-meat, and that was why they wanted nothing to do with it.

Moe Correctly Guesses Ray's Frat, On The First Try

InspectorMoe: were you in a fraternity?
Jalopnixxx: I actually was/
InspectorMoe: I'd like to know how other frathouses might have responded differently to the same set of circumstances
Jalopnixxx: Well, at our house we would have had to ask whether she was appropriately kosher
Jalopnixxx: If she wasn't, we'd have had to move her to another couch, and off of the dairy one.
InspectorMoe: were you in ZBT or something?
Jalopnixxx: Ding!
InspectorMoe: AE 3.14
Jalopnixxx: First guess
InspectorMoe: wow, i'm so so good
InspectorMoe: so yeah
Jalopnixxx: That easy to tell, eh?
InspectorMoe: here's what happened:
InspectorMoe: no it was just the first jewy frat that came to mind
InspectorMoe: my impression of ZBT is generally more barney's and hair product than you
Jalopnixxx: And how jewy we were
Jalopnixxx: Well, I'm a Ca-shew
Jalopnixxx: Ca-Jew
InspectorMoe: right, SO.
Jalopnixxx: So I didn't always fit in
InspectorMoe: oooh a jewopy
InspectorMoe: jewopnik

Moe Cracks Case, More Like Vinny D. than Mariska Now That We Think About It

InspectorMoe: HERE is what happened, as I see it.
Jalopnixxx: Ok, throw down
InspectorMoe: She comes in, starts getting off on the sofa
InspectorMoe: She's, like, in Theta, and this is just a hazing ritual
InspectorMoe: the first part of the ritual was to replicate the contents of anna nicole's fridge
InspectorMoe: and consume them.
InspectorMoe: the second part was to go into the frat house
InspectorMoe: and start poking herself or whatever
InspectorMoe: Pike was stoked.
InspectorMoe: But she got a little performance anxiety
InspectorMoe: so she was like, "talk dirty to me"
Jalopnixxx: That like, totally makes sense. That little bitch wasn't supposed to just, you know, get the police involved.
InspectorMoe: and they got all "her breasts..felt like bags of sand".....
InspectorMoe: and she was like, fuck you, I'm calling someone in ZBT
InspectorMoe: THAT is a frat that knows how to concoct a good scenario
InspectorMoe: hence the cell phone "conversation"
InspectorMoe: pussies (of the Pike sort) were humiliated.
InspectorMoe: liquor was consumed
Jalopnixxx: Doesn't she know that when a frat-boy tells her to do something, she's supposed to, you know, do it. Except anal. Cause that shit's totally gross. Unless she's conservative christian.
Jalopnixxx: Thats called birth control
InspectorMoe: and HERE's another thing
InspectorMoe: their couches were totally nasty already obvs.
Jalopnixxx: Oh yeah, what's that?
Jalopnixxx: Obvs
InspectorMoe: so they're just using this as an excuse!
InspectorMoe: to collect emergency funds from the national organization
InspectorMoe: and hit POTTERY BARN
Jalopnixxx: For new couches!
Jalopnixxx: Awesome!
InspectorMoe: CASE CLOSED!

Masturbating Trespasser Booted From Frat [Michigan Daily]

We only write when we are getting paid bundles and bundles of cold cash to do it, which is why we have always had a sort of anthropolgical fascination with message boards, where thousands of millions of internet users express their opinions, sometimes as incoherently as we do, every single day. The boards of Style.com, the Conde Nast-owned fash website and repository for awful party pictures, are inhabited by a very elite bunch....of complete nutjobs!

Re Allegra Versace:

I think she's beautiful. It really shocks me how much people care about other people's weight these days.

MUCH more mess board insanity — and inanity! — after the jump.

Re What to wear on your feet when you're just a regular dude who feels like the whole limited edition Nike blazer shit has gotten kinda played out:

I'm an old (53) fella who would love to be able to walk out in heels. The lasses have been able to borrow our clothes and yes shoes for years if it suits them without being called names. Why can men not now use the same premise and if they fit go out and have fun in their heels?

Re Allegra

I think she's beautiful because of her personality.

Re Allegra

She is mature, and knows what she wants, and acts like a lady while doing so. That IS beautiful.

Re ..

Cool thread. I also wear heels in public. Maybe some women do't think it looks good, but then again women wear clothes that I don't think looks that good.