I have had a few douches attempt to do this, but thanks to my bony elbows, my scowling and overall ADD on a train - I have avoided it like the plague. I will also make it my job to stand next to an old lady when I am on a packed train.
I think Paris is 'winning' the contest between major metropolitan pervery, at least according to the comments. That was my experience, too. In New York the groping was balanced my a few sweet, 'You're beautiful's. In Paris, it was all animal noises and erections all the time.
I've lived in NYC for nearly 10 years and it's never happened to me. I would have noticed too - I still get skeeved out when people are in my personal space on the train and try to get some little bit of space if at all possible. I think I'm too neurotic to ever get used to being ass cheek-to-ass cheek with my fellow citizens.
Oh no, am I too ugly to be harassed on the train? (SOB!)
This same thing happened to me in a Chicago movie theater. During Rear Window. The guy was sitting right next to me and I wasn't sure if he, um, pleasuring himself or not. Turns out he was. Also, before I discovered he really was jerkin' the gherkin, I sneezed, and the man said, "God bless you." Guess his momma taught him manners, huh?
I had a coworker once, she must have been almost 70 years old (safety net for the elderly, my ass). She worked for the Bell phone company as an operator when she was a young woman living in San Francisco. She said that men masturbating against her and her coworkers was a big problem on the cable cars. So if she felt an erection pressing against her, she would slyly take her five-inch long hatpin off and hold it against her hip. The next time the man used a lurch of the car as an excuse to rub against her, he got a sharp reminder of the error of his ways.
Needless to say, she is a woman who I feel blessed to have known. Too bad hatpins aren't commonly worn anymore.
What an awesome mom. This happened to my best friend in Vegas when we were freshmen in high school. Her mom's response? "Well what do you expect when you wear pants that tight?" Ugh ugh ugh. Seriously made me SO angry.
OMG! That's crazy! I had a man lay down on the A (or C, same bullshit) train across the aisle from me and start masturbating whilst staring me in the eye (even creepier....I saw him again in my neighborhood WHILE I WAS TELLING SOMEONE THE STORY), but I dont think anyone has rubbed on me. I am also deadly cautious to avoid any unneccesary physical contact with anyone on the bus or train. But I will be even more vigilant now.
It breaks my heart to see how many of y'all have endured this, and how jaded that little girl was in Sadie's post.
This has never happened to me and I've been taking public transportation everywhere since I was a teen. (So for 15 years now.) Is it just more common in NYC than Chicago or am I just lucky or a little of both?
@ShankhamalaMorpheus: A lot of this depends on the time of day you ride, among other things. This tends to happen when the car is very, very packed (or probably also when it's very empty and very late). As thesciencegirl points out, it definitely happens here (I'm in Chicago). I've only had it happen to me in other cities, but I tend to ride the el at slightly off times and usually get a seat.
Reading all of this is getting me incredibly angry. How is it fair that SO many of us have had to deal with this? And I'm kind of disappointed in myself, because my response is always so timid -- I just move away, or get off the bus/metro quietly and wait for the next one. Away from the situation, I always think, "The next time that happens I am going to fucking lose it." But then it happens, again, and I'm just immediately intimidated and terrified. The guy doing it is almost always much bigger than me, and I don't want to rely on the kindness of strangers if the pervert decides to attack me. It's so frustrating, because there seems to be no satisfying, yet safe, response to this.
@bokkie: As long as there are people around, make it a scene. You won't be alone, literally or figuratively. The odds are good that there will be women around who've experienced the same, men who know better, and/or decent human beings who realize that no one should have to put up with that kind of bullshit.
I skimmed through the thread, but isn't there a website where girls expose these fucks by taking mobile pics and uploading them? Vaguely recollect guys getting convicted over that shit.
I can't believe how common this is. I mean, I believe it, but it's sad and ridiculous how many men think this is an OK way to behave. It happened to me on the DC metro. At the point when I was sure he wasn't rubbing against me accidentally, I got off the train, and the dude followed me onto a second train, going the opposite direction. When I lived in New York, I found that people were better about, or maybe I was just lucky-- the few times a dude was doing something that made me nervoud or uncomfortable, an older would on the train would always notice before or as I did, and call me over. I wonder whether some of this starts out as accidental, and then becomes creepy pervert behavior? Still completely unacceptable and gross and dehumanizing though.
As I guy, after reading all of this, first, I am sorry.
Second, if I am next to you on a train and you even faintly suspect that I am doing this, go ahead and say it loudly, I can live with the embarrassment of false accusation, dint worry about offending the good guys, more of us need to know that this is happening.
@clevernamehere: No, I don't think it is accidental. I have been on crowded subways with women, I very intentionally kept my junk to myself. Thus, if you suspect it is happening, it most likely is.
i don't think this has ever happened to me. i'm not even remotely kidding. i could chalk it up to the benefits of being a female variant of quasimodo or something...either that or the benefits of wearing a bitch face as much as possible.
This happened to me once on a super crowded C train. It was after a terrible job interview and I was already cranky so when I felt the telltale sign of a dick get rubbed against me I friggin lost it and began shouting. "Really?! Are you so lonely that you have to rub your pathetic excuse for a penis against unsuspecting girls on the subway? Is this the highlight of your day sir? Kindly step the FUCK back!"
Unfortunately instead of getting embarrassed he got really mad and started shouting and threatening me, but he did step back. Luckily there were several gentleman around that were much bigger than him and didn't seem to like the way he was talking to a lady and began to loudly threaten him. He got scared and left at the next stop and I once again narrowly avoided getting punched in the face.
I like this story because it shows both how terrible and wonderful people can be to strangers.
04/29/09
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I gave him my best left look. Right in the ribs.
He stepped away. Not a word exchanged.
Learn to box, ladies. It will come in handy!
*cue theme to Rocky*
04/29/09
Oh no, am I too ugly to be harassed on the train? (SOB!)
04/28/09
04/28/09
Needless to say, she is a woman who I feel blessed to have known. Too bad hatpins aren't commonly worn anymore.
04/28/09
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04/28/09
It breaks my heart to see how many of y'all have endured this, and how jaded that little girl was in Sadie's post.
04/28/09
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Second, if I am next to you on a train and you even faintly suspect that I am doing this, go ahead and say it loudly, I can live with the embarrassment of false accusation, dint worry about offending the good guys, more of us need to know that this is happening.
04/28/09
04/28/09
04/28/09
04/28/09
04/28/09
04/28/09
Unfortunately instead of getting embarrassed he got really mad and started shouting and threatening me, but he did step back. Luckily there were several gentleman around that were much bigger than him and didn't seem to like the way he was talking to a lady and began to loudly threaten him. He got scared and left at the next stop and I once again narrowly avoided getting punched in the face.
I like this story because it shows both how terrible and wonderful people can be to strangers.