The "personhood" movement, which strives to legally define embryos as people from the moment of conception, might sound super fringe or like a bad joke from an SNL episode — especially when its supporters are forced to go to such ridiculous lengths to try and uphold it, like when Kentucky Senator Rand Paul tried to…
Kentucky Senator Rand Paul has crowned himself this week's King of WTF by attempting to pull a fast one on the American people— he inserted a "Personhood" clause into a totally unrelated bill about flood insurance that would have declared that life begins at conception and that your uterus is officially his…
If you ask any of the bazillion "pro-life" dudes who bravely stand for zygotes by standing against emergency contraception, they'll tell you that the morning after pill — or Plan B if you want to get brand-namey — is an abortifacient because it prevents fertilized eggs from implanting in a woman's uterus. The FDA will…
No matter what you call this golden era in American legislating — the War on Women, the Imaginary War on Caterpillars, Tamponaroo — 2012 is, for better or worse, an exciting/harrowing time to have female anatomy, or to be a guy who enjoys having sexual relations with or cares about people who have female anatomy. But…
Zygotes are more important than women, but money is more important than zygotes. At least if you're Mitt Romney. The staunchly unstable politician, who holds the mistaken (but convenient) belief that the morning after pill causes abortions, will be holding a big, fancy fundraiser at the Florida home of the chairman of…
It's less terrible day than usual to be a uterus (or, if you want to get technical, "woman," or "baby holder") in the West South Central United States today. Earlier, a federal judge ruled that Texas' law to exclude Planned Parenthood from its Women's Health Program was unconstitutional. And now, like a frustrated dad…
Just as zombies crave the delicious chewy flesh of the human brain, so too do pro-abortion rights people crave nothing more than to abort the shit out of every pregnancy. We're like hormonal teenagers. We'll abort anything that walks. All day we dream about abortion. At least, according to Mississippi Governor and…
Earlier this week, the Tennessee state Senate offered its near-unanimous approval to a measure that would make it a crime to harm a fetus at any point in a woman's pregnancy, including before 6 weeks' pregnancy when a fetus is actually technically called an "embryo." Proponents of the bill claim that it has nothing to…
With all this talk of personhood and vaginal punishment-probes and the general whorishness who use birth control that's paid for by insurance, a beautiful trend has arisen from the smoldering remains of common sense. Unable to fight fire with facts, progressive lawmakers facing dizzyingly retro abortion and…
Hundreds of women protested Oklahoma's extreme Personhood bill at the State Capitol yesterday, but the most memorable moment at the rally was held by an elected official.
Remember how Virginia's legislature was threatening to pass a bill that declared fertilized eggs to be "persons" with the same legal rights and responsibilities of normal people who are not microscopic bundles of cells that live inside their mothers? Well, today, the state Senate moved to block a vote on the…
Great news, fully realized, super advanced fetuses who are reading this: the Oklahoma Senate today overwhelmingly passed a law that defines a "person" as a human life that begins from the moment of conception.
The state legislatures of Virginia and Oklahoma have continued to embarrass their reasonable constituents this week by passing legislation that defines fertilized eggs as "persons" eligible for the same rights as normal humans that aren't multicelled, consciousless globs. Framers of Personhood bills believe that their…
Virginia must really be desperate to distinguish itself as a place where nobody with a uterus wants to live, because yesterday their House of Delegates passed not one but two insanely restrictive anti-abortion bills, which are both heading pretty directly toward becoming law. You can choose which one you find more…
There's no better way for lawmakers to impress constituents nowadays than to pass draconian abortion restrictions, and no states are trying harder to enforce pregnancy than Kansas and Oklahoma. But which terrible, totalitarian abortion law is worse? Let's find out.
Undaunted by the monumental failure of Personhood USA's push to declare fertilized human eggs exactly the same as grown ass adults in Mississippi, conservatives in Oklahoma have pushed forward with their own Personhood Bill. But one Democratic smartass isn't having it, and she finds the whole thing so absurd that she…
Immediately after voters in Mississippi, the most conservative state in the nation, rejected the proposed "personhood amendment," anti-abortion advocates vowed to continue their fight in other states across the country. It seemed like a fairly idiotic move, but then we're talking about people who insist the proposed…
Citing the "unclear" wording in Nevada's pro-personhood ballot initiative, a Nevada judge has thrown the stupid thing out.
Since Mississippi is officially the most conservative state in the country, one might argue that if your idiotic personhood measure can't make it there, it can't make it anywhere. But don't bother trying to tell that to Nevada's band of lunatics.
With the once overcrowded field full of potential Republican Presidential candidates growing more sparse and morally tarnished by the day, some strategists are worried that women might hesitate to vote for whichever of the remaining jagoffs the GOP nominates. And because women vote in larger numbers than men and they…
