My theoretically enlightened boyfriend (who probably wouldn't mind buying tampons for me, if it ever came to that) is fine with period sex (thank you, Instead!), but really disappointed me last night. I tried to talk about this article over drinks last night. He almost turned green and basically begged me to change the subject. "You even have a DRINK in front of you and you can't talk about it?" Sigh. Yeah. Disappointing. #periodsex
The funniest thing I ever heard was when my bf said "don't all women get hysterectomies at 45?" because his mom had one. he also used to pronounce "menstruation" like this: "men-iss-tration" He grew up with only brothers in a household where dating was not allowed. I set him straight pretty quickly. Now, we're very comfortable talking about all kinds of body issues, which is nice. #periodsex
I don't know, I'm completely with you that periods shouldn't be the taboo that they are and that guys in general should learn to be more comfortable with them, and the idea of period sex if it comes up, but that said there's a big difference between occasional period sex when he knows what's up, and waking up unexpectedly covered in blood (assuming that the article writer was telling the truth and it wasn't just a little spot on the sheets) #periodsex
My husband has started to chill out a bit. After seven years of being together, and three years of marriage, he is no longer afraid to be seen carrying a drugstore bag that contains a fresh box of tampons.
The last time he tried to refuse to carry the bag, I told him very loudly in front of the Duane Reade crowd that no one was going to think he was having his period.
He was humiliated, and the clerk much amused.
He still won't discuss poo, though. Poo is very private.
I don't know. My boyfriend's cool with some period sex once in a while, and that's great considering how squicked out most guys are by women even talking about the details of their periods. I don't even enjoy period sex that much. But I think if a dude's not down with the blood, then that should be okay, too. And I don't think it's cool to spring period sex on a guy without warning, either -- it seems akin to a guy doing something new in bed without your permission. #periodsex
This only confirms my theory that the best weapon a woman can have is not mace, a rape whistle, a gun, or a cellphone, but a saved-up packet of her menstrual blood, to be popped and waved in the face of dude(s) in question. They'll run away screaming or puking, of course. #periodsex
I am not bothered by another woman being on her period and my ex used to like it (she would say that having a tampon in was extra stimulation) but I have to say, when I have my period, at least the bad days, I just want to veg out by myself and drink tea and maybe eat salty snacks and be alone. I’m not that social let alone into sex or sexual activity. It’s not that I feel unclean I just feel over my period and also just not sexy or in the mood. This isn’t for the whole time (which, um, is about a week for me, or used to be). This actually came up last night, on my birthday, and I tried to get into making out/giving head, but mostly kindof just wanted to curl up and cuddle with my pillow. I probably need to get better about saying, "I’m having my period/not in the mood." I want to be as comfortable about the topic as you, Anna, but having my period makes me want to hibernate.
That being said, most guys I’ve been with, at least in recent memory, had no problem with it. #periodsex
@lustylady: 'This actually came up last night, on my birthday, and I tried to get into making out/giving head'
Maybe I'm misreading.. Please tell me your birthday present wasn't giving your dude a blowjob!
Also, general TMI suggestion – period sex doesn't have to mean intercourse or even taking out/off your blood catcher of choice. Hand jobs, blow jobs and vibrators go a long way. #periodsex
If I woke up covered in blood of unknown provenance, I might label myself scarred for life, too.
My boyfriend is pro-period sex. He is of the put a towel down and let's go school of thought. I, however, find the idea horrifying in a visceral way. I mean, ew. Sure I appreciate getting a monthly reminder that hey, good job on not getting pregnant, but that doesn't mean I want to revel in it. #periodsex
I can't speak from experience, but I've been told that period sex isn't actually that bad because the blood can function as extra lube.
From a lesbian perspective, my girlfriend isn't into period sex too much, but the few times we've done it, it feels very ... primal. I don't know if that's the best word, but it is an odd experience to see blood on my fingers after touching her. #periodsex
This is hilarious, because normally when I'm on my period my boyfriend doesn't give a shit because: SEX. And especially if I'm not bleeding a lot and I'm particular enough to always clean myself afterwards anyway (seriously, I'm not just going to immediately cuddle if there's some grossness of any kind going on between my legs), then he doesn't have a problem. Honestly, a lot of the time it's me who's like, "uhh soo I don't think this is a good idea...I don't want to fuck up your sheets..." and he's the one telling me he's got club soda and a fresh sheet just in case. #periodsex
I can never really relate to these because I don't want anyone touching me, let alone having sex with me, during my period. I'm in too much pain. So whether my partner would be into it or not, I don't want anything near that area. Not out of shame, but because that's just a No Touch Zone for 3-5 days a month. Just how I'm wired.
Personally, I think it depends on how much you like period sex, and how much/why a partner might not. If, like me, you don't have any interest, it doesn't much matter if a partner is fine with it or not.
But I know many women, because of the hormone shifts, really want to during that time. And if a guy won't because he thinks your body is gross, or that periods are "unclean" then that's an issue.
But lots of people find bloody anything gross. I don't get turned on by a gaping chest wound and I can see someone feeling the same here. So again, depends on how much it means to you that you have nookie then, and why someone doesn't want to. #periodsex
@tiredfairy: I know people are squeamish, but I think the point is to teach people that a period is really quite different to a 'gaping chest wound'. #periodsex
@bleedingmouths: All I meant by that was that blood has that connotation, whether we want it to or not. Blood, as a fluid, is not generally associated with positive things. Guys don't have any body functions that are equivalent to a period, so it doesn't seem that odd to me that they might have trouble with that...especially considering the way our culture makes periods seem dirty and gross.
Obviously, that needs to change. And I think it should. And if a guy treats you or your period, or your desire for period sex as gross, then yes, that's a problem. The more our bodies are normalized, the better.
My point was just that it's important to figure out what the issue with it is. If it's a "womens bodies are gross" thing, that's obviously bad. But if it's just, I'm not into it the way someone else may not be into a particular position or hair pulling, that's not as much of an issue. #periodsex
I probably quote TWoP too much (I did it in a lot of papers in college) but this is my favorite guys&periods statement of all time. From one of Pamie's Gilmore Girls recaps:
"If your boyfriend hates buying you tampons, he’s an idiot. A child. A man buying tampons is a man who gets laid because there’s not a man on this planet who needs tampons for himself. Get over it, guys. When a girl buys condoms it means she’s totally getting laid. You should hold those tampons over your head and go, "My ladyfriend is bleeding! I am a good boyfriend! I am taking care of her! We have sex on a regular basis and we’re responsible about it so now she’s on her period! Yes, that’s right, we had another successful month of having sex without getting pregnant! Three cheers for me and my penis!" #periodsex
@girlscoutcookie is back from hiatus: Yay! This totally makes up for reading something lame on one of the other Gawker sites a few weeks ago (Jalopnik?) about how a guy was 'whipped' for picking up tampons for his girlfriend.
I'm generally cool with period sex, though now that I live with my partner I'm like--we can have sex whenever we want, and I don't like having bloody sheets, so let's not do it for a couple days.
But when I started dating my now boyfriend, he was a graduate student and had slightly different standards of living than me. Like, one time we had period sex, and at some point he put his hand on the wall to steady himself. There was a bloody handprint on the wall until he moved out like 6 months later, and he washed it off after he moved all his shit out.
It was both hilariously disgusting, because it was fucking blood on the wall for god's sake, which is gross. But it was also kind of satisfying that he was like, "So? It's not like I eat off of my wall, nobody touches that wall except me when we're boning, and it's just a little blood. Who cares?" because such matter-of-factness about period blood was unexpected. Also every time I looked at it I was like, "Ah. Sex. Yes."
But now that we've been together a while and he moved into my beautiful apartment, we maintain a far more clean sexytime-space. #periodsex
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The last time he tried to refuse to carry the bag, I told him very loudly in front of the Duane Reade crowd that no one was going to think he was having his period.
He was humiliated, and the clerk much amused.
He still won't discuss poo, though. Poo is very private.
BTW, he's forty-fucking-two. #periodsex
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That being said, most guys I’ve been with, at least in recent memory, had no problem with it. #periodsex
11/11/09
Maybe I'm misreading.. Please tell me your birthday present wasn't giving your dude a blowjob!
Also, general TMI suggestion – period sex doesn't have to mean intercourse or even taking out/off your blood catcher of choice. Hand jobs, blow jobs and vibrators go a long way. #periodsex
11/11/09
Me: Yeah, I get really farty when I'm on my period.
Him: Aww, you're adorable! #periodsex
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My boyfriend is pro-period sex. He is of the put a towel down and let's go school of thought. I, however, find the idea horrifying in a visceral way. I mean, ew. Sure I appreciate getting a monthly reminder that hey, good job on not getting pregnant, but that doesn't mean I want to revel in it. #periodsex
11/11/09
From a lesbian perspective, my girlfriend isn't into period sex too much, but the few times we've done it, it feels very ... primal. I don't know if that's the best word, but it is an odd experience to see blood on my fingers after touching her. #periodsex
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11/11/09
Personally, I think it depends on how much you like period sex, and how much/why a partner might not. If, like me, you don't have any interest, it doesn't much matter if a partner is fine with it or not.
But I know many women, because of the hormone shifts, really want to during that time. And if a guy won't because he thinks your body is gross, or that periods are "unclean" then that's an issue.
But lots of people find bloody anything gross. I don't get turned on by a gaping chest wound and I can see someone feeling the same here. So again, depends on how much it means to you that you have nookie then, and why someone doesn't want to. #periodsex
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Obviously, that needs to change. And I think it should. And if a guy treats you or your period, or your desire for period sex as gross, then yes, that's a problem. The more our bodies are normalized, the better.
My point was just that it's important to figure out what the issue with it is. If it's a "womens bodies are gross" thing, that's obviously bad. But if it's just, I'm not into it the way someone else may not be into a particular position or hair pulling, that's not as much of an issue. #periodsex
11/11/09
"If your boyfriend hates buying you tampons, he’s an idiot. A child. A man buying tampons is a man who gets laid because there’s not a man on this planet who needs tampons for himself. Get over it, guys. When a girl buys condoms it means she’s totally getting laid. You should hold those tampons over your head and go, "My ladyfriend is bleeding! I am a good boyfriend! I am taking care of her! We have sex on a regular basis and we’re responsible about it so now she’s on her period! Yes, that’s right, we had another successful month of having sex without getting pregnant! Three cheers for me and my penis!" #periodsex
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11/11/09
But when I started dating my now boyfriend, he was a graduate student and had slightly different standards of living than me. Like, one time we had period sex, and at some point he put his hand on the wall to steady himself. There was a bloody handprint on the wall until he moved out like 6 months later, and he washed it off after he moved all his shit out.
It was both hilariously disgusting, because it was fucking blood on the wall for god's sake, which is gross. But it was also kind of satisfying that he was like, "So? It's not like I eat off of my wall, nobody touches that wall except me when we're boning, and it's just a little blood. Who cares?" because such matter-of-factness about period blood was unexpected. Also every time I looked at it I was like, "Ah. Sex. Yes."
But now that we've been together a while and he moved into my beautiful apartment, we maintain a far more clean sexytime-space. #periodsex
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11/11/09