• Mickey Rourke, at Max Azria: "I really don't like Max that much. He's a short little guy with a good looking wife. Maybe I'll steal his wife." [WSJ]
• Tom Ford to close-talking columnist: "Are you trying to smell me?" [NationalPost]

• If you care about who People thinks is the best-dressed, their annual list is out. Kate Winslet, Reese Witherspoon, Vanessa Hudgens, and Freida Pinto all made the cut; on the men's side, so did Brad Pitt, Robert Pattinson, and Bradley Cooper. [People]
• Audrey Tautou, currently playing Coco Chanel across multiple platforms, has a print ad for Chanel No. 5 out. [People]
• Lanvin designer Alber Elbaz is to address the UNESCO World Forum on Culture and Cultural Industries in Italy next week. [WWD]
• Lauren Conrad presents her fall collection for Kohl's in this video. It's very cute how she pretends to have seen it before. [People]
• Avril Lavigne presented her collection for Kohl's in New York City on Monday night. It includes a hoodie with earbuds in the drawstring. We must have missed this one for the Snuggie show. [People]
• Ralph Lifshitz and Calvin Klein grew up in the same part of the same neighborhood of the Bronx, Norwood's Mosholu Parkway, and both attended Public School 80, four years apart. Former Bronx borough president Fernando Ferrer says, "These are working-class guys — they were neither poor nor wealthy, and it's interesting that their clothes are aspirational. Ralph Lauren designs preppy, polo type clothes. That wasn't his experience then. So does Calvin Klein — elegance, simplicity." [Cityroom]
• Anya Hindmarch believes in "speaking up for bespoke" objects in a time of mass-production. Naturally, she also believes in charging £500 for a wallet. [ToL]
• Meanwhile, for the rest of us, Zara has plans to start selling its clothes online. [FT]
• Georgia May Jagger: "I really don't get it, to be perfectly honest. I still don't have that firm a grasp on why me being my parents' daughter is so interesting." Being your parents' daughter is the only reason you have a career, dear! [Style.com]
• It's certainly the only reason Vanity Fair is talking to her. "Modeling is always something I've really admired because I've seen my mum and sister do it," says Jagger. [VF]
• David Lauren: "We created the first 24-hour shopping experience on the windows of our mansion on 72nd St. You can literally walk up to the glass, press on the glass, and shop the product that's in the store. You can touch your credit card to the glass and buy it." [The Cut]
• Will lazy writers ever abandon the canard that Lara Stone — a model with stated measurements of 33"-24"-35", entirely within the tiny range of straight-size modeling — is somehow "curvy" or represents "change" on the catwalk? Stone — who is incredibly good at what she does, and well established in the business because of it — has not been "opening everyone's shows." In fact she has yet to be spotted anywhere in the lineup at a single show this season. [Telegraph]
• Halston, that long-rudderless brand, had a spring presentation that was a bit of a train wreck. The clothes looked very similar to each other, and the mannequins were weird. [WSJ]
• Barneys New York has now operated for 14 months without a C.E.O. Wracked by debt, the retailer is the subject of rumors alleging its inability to even pay its invoices. The head of Istithmar, the investment fund that owns Barneys, says "We have stood by Barneys and will continue to stand by this company." Words you never want to have to hear from a C.E.O. [WWD]
• Nina Garcia's third book about personal style is naturally all about the recessionista, not the fashionista. [Reuters]
• According to an online survey of 61,000 teens, teenagers are spending less money, because their parents are giving them less money, because their parents have less money. Thanks for getting to the bottom of this important recession conundrum, social networking site Habbo Hotel. [Reuters]

I guess People offered the gang more money than they could get out of Late Night, but the magazine reportedly does briefly mention Fallon's reunion quest while still basically pretending the entire thing was its editors' own idea. But there is hope for Jimmy Fallon: the absence of Screech in People does bode well for an actual real full-on reunion on his show. And he has Mr. Belding, too!

And I'm not exactly sure why this exists, other than because of a desire on Tiffani's part to have her own viral video like her former co-star Mark Paul Gosselaar did when he appeared on Jimmy Fallon's show in character as Zack Morris from Saved By The Bell - but I'm a sucker for any Indigo Girls joke. And despite a little too much self-congratulation masked as self-parody (Funny Or Die's bread and butter these days), this does have its funny moments. Cat videos!:

• Though Kate Gosselin filed for divorce from Jon on Monday, the filing does not contain custody information at this time. Will Kate ask for primary custody? How much time will Jon get? [Star Magazine]

• By the by, those Crooked Houses Jon & Kate's 8 play in? $7,000 a piece. [ABC News]
• Kate Gosselin is on People magazine, with the cover line: "It feels like I failed." [People]
• New Jon & Kate episodes will include Jon's new girlfriend, 23-year-old Deanna Hummel. [Gatecrasher]
• "Reports this week claim Aniston has been sent text messages by Angelina Jolie demanding she 'back off'." Heh. Hahhaha. Ha. [Daily Mail]
• Is Britney Spears going to be in a Nazi movie? Brain… cannot… compute. [National Ledger]
• Rihanna didn't take the stand in Chris Brown's court case, so now Cover Girl has resumed its ad campaign featuring the singer. It's okay to think she's pretty again! [TMZ]
• Perez Hilton has released a new statement in which he says: "Words can hurt." And: "I wish none of it had happened. I can't take it back." And: "Who I am as a person and what I do for a living are two separate things." And: "Several television and radio shows over the past couple of days echoed the sentiment 'He had it coming'. Would they have said the same thing if I was a woman? Would I have 'deserved it' if I had been stabbed? Or shot? Or killed?" [Perez]
• Anne Hathaway loans her friends designer dresses out of her closet. [Gatecrasher]
• If you work for Oprah, you're going on a trip! She is taking 100 employees - and their families - on an all-expenses paid 10-day cruise around the Mediterranean. JEALOUS. [Gatecrasher via Pop Crunch]
• "Madonna is trying to recreate her beloved Wiltshire manor in the middle of Manhattan." [The Sun]
• "Fitness fanatic Madonna has banned smoking roadies from coming within 50ft of her…" [The Sun]
• Video of Zachary Quinto walking his dog with a friend who is dressed as a giant steak. Quinto falls, curses. The walking resumes. Inexplicable. [ONTD]
• LOL: Ellen's variety show will be called Bigger Longer & Wider. It debuts on TBS this Saturday at 9pm, with Kanye West, David Blaine and Nick Cannon among the performers. [USA Today]
• More drama involving Danielle Staub from the Real Housewives of New Jersey: The Smoking Gun has discovered that in 1986, she was charged with eight felonies, including extortion, cocaine possession, and narcotics conspiracy. And you know how Staub told People she was "never a prostitute. Never"? She told a federal agent she worked for an escort service. [MSNBC, The Smoking Gun]
• Great Q&A with Teresa from RHONJ at the link; she's asked if there's a little too much onyx and granite in her house abd says: "No, I don't think you can ever have too much. I coulda had more." [Newsweek]
• And! When asked, "On a scale of 1 to 10 how much does Danielle annoy you?" Teresa answers: "20." [Newsweek]
• The stuff dreams are made of: James Franco reading Proust. [Page Six]
• Were Megan Fox and Josh Brolin involved in a New Orleans fire? [Page Six]
• Nick Lachey and Vanessa Minnillo: Over. But those hot tub pix live forever! [People]
• Liev Schreiber plays a cross-dresser in Ang Lee's film Taking Woodstock and says: "[Ang] really did like my legs. When I went to his office, the first thing he said to me was, 'Wow, you have really nice legs.' I thought, 'This part is mine.'" [NY Mag]
• Pardon my groan: The Jonas Brothers are on the cover of Rolling Stone (again) looking like they bought fake IDs and are headed to the local leather bar to watch some bear on cub wrestling. [JustJared]
• "Martina Navratilova sued for millions by 'wife' after being 'dumped without warning.'" [Daily Mail]
• Katherine Heigl will star in a romance flick called Life As We Know It, which she is producing with her mother. [Variety]
• Daniel Craig will star in Dream House, a psychological thriller about a man who moves his family to a small town only to find it haunted by the former inhabitants who were murdered there. [The Hollywood Reporter]
• Craig Robinson, Heather Graham, Johnny Knoxville and Camilla Belle will join Kevin Spacey in the comedy Father Of Invention, which Spacey is producing. [The Hollywood Reporter]
• Julianne Hough probably won't be in Footloose, as her acting is abominable. [Page Six]
• Audrina Patridge of The Hills is getting her own reality show, creatively titled The Audrina Show. [EW]
• Epic Marilyn Manson interview! He talks about how he felt when he and Evan Rachel Wood broke up: "My walls were covered in scrawlings of the lyrics and cocaine bags nailed to the wall. And I did have an experience where I was struggling to deal with being alone and being forsaken and being betrayed by putting your trust in one person, and making the mistake of that being the wrong person. And that's a mistake that everyone can relate to. I made the mistake of trying to, desperately, grasp on and save that and own it. And every time I called her that day — I called 158 times — I took a razorblade and I cut myself on my face or on my hands." [Spin]
• Marilyn Manson also says of Evan Rachel Wood: "I have fantasies every day about smashing her skull in with a sledgehammer." [Spin]
• John Travolta is in South Africa, as a way to honor his late son who loved safaris. [TMZ]
• Is R. Kelly involved in a scam that robbed the elderly of £1million? [The Sun]
• Bollywood actress Aishwarya Rai is involved with some kind of illegal purchase of land, uh-oh. [Times of India]
• Michael Madsen owes Pierce Brosnan and Quentin Tarantino money. Not ten bucks — like $25,000 to Brosnan and $1 million to QT. [TMZ]
• "Rachel Hunter devastated as ice hockey player fiancé calls off wedding SEVEN WEEKS before big day." [Daily Mail]
• Come on baby shake your pigskin: Gloria Estefan and her husband Emilio are buying a share in the NFL's Miami Dolphins. [UPI]
• Joan Rivers is moving to L.A. and selling her Upper East side condo and Connecticut cottage, which is "so filled to the brim with campy knickknackery that it almost looks découpaged" and where Joan keeps a photograph of herself next to the bed. [NY Mag]
• Phil Spector is now in the "sensitive needs" area of California state prison, which is separate from the "gen pop." [USA Today]
• Blind item! "Which TV star will absolutely scream when she discovers her husband was chasing girls at an L.A. nightclub over the weekend?" [Gatecrasher]
• Q. Was it fun flipping the table? A: "Fun? It was heat of the moment and it was something that came spontaneously. That was my anger coming out. I just had enough of her. I was just done. I've never done it before. Will I ever do it again? I don't think so because I don't think I'll let someone get to me like she does because in real life I probably would have stopped hanging out with her." — Teresa, of The Real Housewives Of New Jersey. [Newsweek]
• "I'd be a liar if I said it was easy. I think it's very different nowadays for working mothers. Before, a woman could take two years off - a year for her pregnancy and then the first year, but I don't think that's possible for women in showbusiness or in any industry any more. You just have to keep going - keep looking forward. If you stop, you're like, 'Oh God, it's too overwhelming.' And believe me, I've had my fair share of those moments." — Anna Friel. [Telegraph]
• "I really cannot tell you if there will ever be another Batman movie. Chris [Nolan, director] has obviously done an incredible job with it. He's devoted to the movie that he's on right now. I'm none the wiser about we'll ever be revisiting Gotham or not." — Christian Bale. Of another Terminator movie he says: "No conversation has been had about that at all." [Pop Wrap]
• "That song is about when someone said to me, 'Okay, I want to be with you until I die.' And then they gave up. I was at the point in my life where I was like, 'Okay, let's die, but I tell you what, I'm going to kill you first, because I don't trust you.' Honestly. It's hard to look back and see myself as the same person. I'm very objective now. I started to apply this really fantastic rule that they don't teach you in AA or AAA, or any other acronym: Do drugs and drink when you're happy, not when you're sad. It has a great effect. But I can't say that I did that the whole time." — Marilyn Manson, still talking about Evan Rachel Wood. [Spin]
• "She's a lot shorter than I thought she would be, but I was pleased by that. I'm happy there was a flaw. Having said that, I think Angelina is pretty talented. And a remarkable human being, and a great mom. She's definitely not like any other lady I know." — Six foot three Liev Schreiber, on his five foot eight Salt costar Angelina Jolie. [Gatecrasher]
• "I did teach Abby how to say the f-word. I taught her how to drop the f-bomb in every way possible. I said, 'You're a child in an adult's world. I can't be a child for you. When she didn't swear, I said, 'You're starting to offend me Abby. If you don't start swearing every three words then I will fine you.'" — Cameron Diaz, 36 on working with Abigail Breslin, 13 in My Sister's Keeper. [Mirror]
• "I am so often puzzled [by journalists]. Sometimes they go, 'So what's this all about? ... What do you look like when you go home? Do you dress like this all the time?' It's rude! It's not nice… [Lady Gaga] is who I am. Me and my hair bow, we go to bed together. She sleeps where I sleep." — Lady GaGa. [Yahoo News via AP]

According to People's readers, apparently not. 73% of readers gave Shakespeare a thumbs down. Clearly these people haven't read Sonnet 130. For shame! Let us help you out, dear People people:

My mistress' eyes are nothing like the sun
Coral is far more red than her lips' red:
If snow be white, why then her breasts are dun;
If hairs be wires, black wires grow on her head.
I have seen roses damask'd, red and white,
But no such roses see I in her cheeks;
And in some perfumes is there more delight
Than in the breath that from my mistress reeks.
I love to hear her speak, yet well I know
That music hath a far more pleasing sound:
I grant I never saw a goddess go,-
My mistress, when she walks, treads on the ground:
And yet, by heaven, I think my love as rare
As any she belied with false compare.

Let's see Zac Efron write something like that, eh?

Should Be Renamed To The 100 Most Okay-Looking People [ONTD]

[Image via Mediocrechick]

The interview is full of details about Michelle's daily routine that underscore why we will never have a day half as productive as hers. In addition to getting up at 5:30am every day and keeping two BlackBerrys, Michelle says:

We don't have TiVo. For me, I think TiVo would be dangerous. The notion of, like, sitting and watching shows for hours, I could see getting caught up in that.

She says that instead of catching up on American Idol,

I read more magazines. The New Yorker is one of my big, sort of relaxing reads.

Michelle says she's aware that with all the loving fist bumps and romantic Inaugural dances, what People calls a "mythology" has grown up around her marriage. While Michelle explains that yes, she and Barack really do like and respect each other, she adds:

I don't want anybody to think that it's easy. It works because we really work at it ... We have a strong marriage, but it's not perfect.

But there's no evidence of any marital strife in her account of their family dinner ritual:

We do something called "roses and thorns," and we each share our rose and our thorn," Michelle Obama says. She pauses. "Malia has pointed out to Barack that, as she said, "Dad you seem to have a pretty thorny job." We looked at each other and laughed and said, "It's okay, you can say that."

Later Michelle remarks:

I have to say, I've had a lot of rosy days ... I think I have the good end of the deal.

One thing keeping her in high spirits is the comic stylings of Sasha and Malia:

Our girls are just complete comic relief," she says. "We're dealing with the age range where they're pretty funny in their observations and sort of lack of being impressed with any of this.

The girls have decided they're too old for mom and dad to read to them at bedtime, and Michelle says, "They're now independent readers." But they still enjoy running around the White House!

"I've tried to encourage them to feel like this whole place is their home," Mrs. Obama says. "We actually had this conversion - just let us know where you're going."

The girls have also been pestering her about the one topic on the minds of all Americans: the puppy.

Mrs. Obama says she favors Portuguese Water Dogs, the breed Sen. Ted Kennedy lobbied for. And the target date is April, after that spring break trip. "So Sasha says, "April 1st." I said, "April." She says, "April 1st. It's, like, April!"

But Michelle doesn't like the names the girls have suggested for the puppy:

"Frank was one of them. Moose was another," she says with a laugh and a roll of her eyes. "I'm like, no. Come on. Lets work with the names a little bit.

Finally, Michelle explains that she chose to pose for the cover of Vogue because she knows she's an inspiration for African Americans, especially young women like her daughters.

While I don't consider myself a fashionista," she says, "I thought it was good for my daughters and little girls just like them , who haven't seen themselves represented in these magazines, hopefully to talk more broadly about what beauty is, what intelligence is, what counts."

[Image via People]

"She's scary smart. But smart only takes you so far. She also has an amazing knack, perhaps more than any other star, for knowing how to shape a public image." Times reporter Brooks Barnes points out that while Jennifer Lopez also sold pictures of her twins to People, she has a team of eight to assist her. "Ms. Jolie, 33, has her cellphone, a lawyer and [her manager] Mr. Kosinski (and, of course, the counsel of her partner, Mr. Pitt)."

Barnes insists that if a magazine wants Angelina's cooperation with a story, they're going to have to highlight her humanitarian work. He writes:

Shifting the focus is one of Ms. Jolie’s best maneuvers, magazine editors and publicity executives say. When she became romantically involved with Mr. Pitt, for instance, she faced a public relations crisis — being portrayed in the tabloid press as a predator who stole Mr. Pitt from his wife, Jennifer Aniston.

What did Angie do? She appeared in Pakistan, Afghanistan, and Kashmir, focusing on international crises. "Presto, they come out looking like serious people who have transformed a silly press obsession into a sincere attempt to help the needy," says celebrity publicist Michael Levine. Of course, Angelina's philanthropic adviser, Trevor Neilson, who is a former executive at the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation, says: "People don’t realize the complexity of what Angie is doing. A lot of her charity work is done quietly and not in front of the media."

Meanwhile, numbers at magazines like In Touch and Life & Style — which do not have exclusive deals with A-list celebrities like Angelina — are down. Does this mean people are buying exactly what Angelina wants them to?

Angelina Jolie’s Carefully Orchestrated Image [NY Times]
For Two Celebrity Mags, a Reality Check on Readers [WSJ]

• Dupre had no idea her client Spitzer was the governor, on account of his clever alias "George Fox," Dupre's professionalism ("I was there for a purpose, not to wonder who [he] could be") and Dupre being "not really a TV person... I was wrapped up in my family, my music. I knew the name, but [not] the face."
• Spitzer wasn't chatty like some clients: "It was more of a transaction. Strictly business."
• Dupre has been in "intense" psychotherapy since March.
• She ran away from home at 17 and was soon in Florida "drinking a bottle of Grey Goose vodka at a time and partaking in a "'lot' of marijuana, ecstasy and cocaine." During this period, she was raped.

Despite the seemingly coordinated burst of publicity, Dupre does not indicate she has a book or any other such project to promote, telling People (for publication in Friday's issue) she wants merely to "get on with my life." Maybe the new publicity will finally temper public interest in Dupre — or maybe it will spike and shape that interest in a way more appealing to book publishers and other media dealmakers. It's entirely possibly Dupre will have some options in how she "gets on" with life.

(Image from ABC)

While on the whole, the picture is a bit more complicated than this, we think it's safe to say that on the whole, the less we know about wealthy people, the happier we are. But we bought People anyway and realized there are exceptions: reading erstwhile Scar-beau Ryan Reynolds testifying to the fact that money doesn't buy happiness can, in a small way, make us marginally sorta happier.

Says Ryan on the "swag at industry events":

I have very little patience with all that stuff. It's pretty crazy. It's like, 'Why don't you go to the Prada tent or the Adidas tent?' And you're like, 'Is this the free shoes for the rich program?' I don't understand. Why are all these people lining up? You made $20 million last year!

Not reader "S," though, who instead seizes the opportunity to explain why she's hot and why Jess is not:

This is the WORST look I've ever seen on Jessica. She looks like a pregnant lady from the 50s trying to cover up that she's pregnant. I've got curves and those are good if you've got curves on the bottom...I actually have a pair of Express pants like that and they hide flaws AWESOMELY. They just look awful on her.

Forget what the popular media and John Mayer might say, "S" calls it like it is: Fat and ugly.

Would You Wear Jessica Simpson's high-Waisted Pants? [People.com]

Fashion Faceoff [People.com]
Earlier: Has Britney Spears People-Ized TMZ? [Business Week]

Please keep in mind:
1. Moe is single
2. Moe's hot ex-boyfriend will be there
3. Moe is not really interested in adding to her "list"
4. Moe does not tan
5. We mean, not even a little
6. Moe could Mystic tan, if it was worth it
7. Moe only wears black and gray and thereby stands no chance of wearing any of these dresses ever again.
8. Moe leans toward the slutty one, but what's with the sash?

Real Life Weddings [People.com]
Earlier: Time Inc. To Cut 100 More Jobs as It Focuses On Web Business [New York Times]

Who's fat? Who's lonely? Who's feuding? Celebrity weekly round-up after the jump.

This could have been the shortest round-up ever: they're all shit, read the phone book instead.

But no. Let's plow on, if only to find out who's lame, who's lamer and who should be taken outside and shot.

Life & Style continues in its cheerfully ridiculous fantasy land, getting Jennifer Aniston engaged, Brad and Angie planning a wedding and Kevin and Britney back together. Still, it's the kind of magazine aimed at morons who think a $2 lipstick from Wal-mart will actually make them look like Jessica Alba, just because L&S told them so, so credibility is the least of their problems.

In Touch has the world's least convincing headline: Jen Looks Pregnant! She looks pregnant. Not that she is or anything. Unless she is. But In Touch doesn't actually know. So, you know, whatever. Talk amongst yourselves. As you nod off gently, you may notice that Kirstie Alley lost weight, Jessica and Nick split up, and Angelina had a baby. Gripping stuff.

Star looks unlikely to halt its circulation plunge with the horrendous looking, and totally irrelevant cover proclaiming that Reese Witherspoon (who?) and Julia Roberts are both knocked up. Even if it were true, why on earth do they think anyone gives a flying toss? They have pics of pregnant Anna Nicole Smith, topless and covered in grease. Don't eat at least an hour before looking at them. Star also has EXCLUSIVE blurry pics of Nick Lachey and whatever blow-up doll he's spilling his seed into this week. And for about the 20th time, they have a stab at Carmen Electra and Dave Navarro splitting up. Expect a glowing piece about how happy they are together next week, after Carmen's publicist's head spins round and vomits green slime over Bonnie Fuller.

With typical lack of savvy, OK! has exlusive first pics of the baby that no-one particularly cares about or wants to see - Gwen and Gavin's son Kingston. And Nick Lachey disembowelled a small child and smeared its blood all over his chest, in a Satanic ritual at Koi. Not really. He's dating a portable vagina, but there's no pics because Star beat them to it. Oh, and Jennifer and Vince are going out with each other and you just wasted a tiny little bit of your life reading that non-story. Next time just poke out your eyeballs and be done with it.

People Magazine is its usual deluded self. Britney's happy and everything's fine, Jennifer's happy and everything's fine, and Jessica is happy and everything is fine and the earth is flat and the moon is made of cheese. They crown their hottest bachelor of 2006 - Taylor Hicks, which shows such a lapse of taste there's no point in going any further down the list. Who's number 10? David Fucking Gest? The only page of any interest whatsoever is p140, where they chronicle the 20 - yes - 20 men who have crawled up Lindsay Lohan's firecrotch in the one year she's been legal. A few even made it back out again.

This week's prime candidate for euthanasia is US Weekly, with an edition so bland, its lifeless pages almost disintegrate in your hand - or is that just wishful thinking? The cover promises the inside details of Brangelina's first days home, and goes on to deliver exactly the same bland, catch-all, 'a source says' crap all the others vomit up this week in about half the space. And Britney isn't happy and Jen and Vince are dating and there does not appear to be one original thought that went into this magazine and frankly it should crawl into a corner and die.

K-Fed smokes at a gas station. And lives, unfortunately.

The President of Namibia writes a thank you note to Brangelina.

Tori Spelling. Point and laugh.

Find your inner bratpacker. We're Molly Ringwald. Of course.

While doing nice girlfriend duty last night and sitting through X-men: The Last Stand, I couldn't help but realize that the man that directed this pile of garbage has probably seen Lindsay Lohan's firecrotch. No wonder the film is so bad, Brett Ratner's post-traumatic stress disorder obviously made it hard to concentrate.

Still, the X-kids turned up in Cannes to promote the flick, and Dania Ramirez (Callisto) kindly took time to show People Magazine how the other, beautiful half live.

"...Who needs sleep when you're in Cannes? I'm like, 'isn't that why I have a make-up artist?'"

I'm like, so with you, girl!

People Magazine commemorates the anniversary of the disappearance of pretty blonde white so she matters Natalee Holloway in Aruba last year, with a handy cut out and keep ten most vital questions on the matter.

Number five: "Do investigators think Natalee might still be alive?"

Number eight: "Is Aruba tourism down since Holloway's disappearance?"

Straight to the burning issues.

People Magazine's cover predictably goes with the St Paul of Beatlemania divorce, and guess what? Heather Mills is a cow! Who knew?

But a few pages later we get to the extraordinary story of Richelle Nice, a juror on the Scott Peterson trial who's decided to get in touch with her inner self by getting in touch with the convicted murderer she helped sentence to death. Fair enough, this is America, after all. But why go public with the sorry little tale?

"Asked why she decided to release these seemingly private letters to PEOPLE, Nice says she was "scared they'd be leaked out somehow."

And then she wouldn't get any money for them! And God knows, she needs the cash:

"Nice admits that her letters to Peterson are also partly an attempt to find answers to questions about herself. She has never been married. Her four sons were fathered by two different men with whom she had long-term relationships. Over the years she has worked jobs ranging from a nursing assistant to a bank clerk. Last August Nice enrolled in cosmetology school, hoping to eventually start a career as a hair and make-up artist. But in December, after years of mental health issues, she suffered a major breakdown and was admitted into San Mateo Medical Center's psychiatric ward. She's currently on a battery of medications for her pychiatric problems."

The meds ain't cheap, people.