Jezebel 
Enter your username and password.
-
posts about #pennyflame more → 
On Leaving Porn, Smiling.
Sex Rehab: Who Doesn't Love Sex And Masturbation?
New York, 10:45 AM
Mon Dec 7
18 posts in the last 24 hours
Tip your editors:
Editor-in-Chief:
Anna Holmes
| Twitter
Deputy Editor:
Dodai Stewart
| Twitter
Senior Contributing Editor:
Tracie Egan
| Twitter
Contributing Editors:
Anna North
| Twitter
Sadie Stein
| Twitter
Reporter:
Irin Carmon
| Twitter
Editorial Assistant:
Margaret Hartmann
| Twitter
Contributors:
Rich Juzwiak
Email | Twitter
Latoya Peterson
Email
Jenna Sauers
Lizzie Skurnick
Interns:
Katy Kelleher
Twitter
Weekends/Commenter Moderator:
Hortense
| Twitter
| posts about #pennyflame more → |
On Leaving Porn, Smiling. |
Sex Rehab: Who Doesn't Love Sex And Masturbation? |
Original material is licensed under a Creative Commons License permitting non-commercial sharing with attribution.
11/21/09
It is so much easier to navigate the world after leaving a job in the sex industry if you put yourself in the victim/shame box: "It was a mistake. I'm embarrassed. That was the past." Etc. And though that is the real experience of many sex workers - many are victimized, do feel it was a mistake, are traumatized or at the very least wouldn't do it again if they felt they had the choice - it is not the experience of all. But that narrative is easier for people not comfortable with sex work to swallow.
So often women in the industry (and I say this with some authority, as I've been one) feel that they must fall into one of two categories - the victim, or the crusader. Either they are doing the work because they had limited choices, and they hate/regret it, or they are champions for the cause, cautious to say anything negative lest they be pegged as victims.
If Ketcham's voice comes across as "conflicted" it's probably because she is. The sex industry is complicated, like any job there will be things you love and things you hate about your work. Ways it made you better and ways it knocked you down. And agency is a tricky thing - if someone feels that they made a choice, and if they feel personally empowered, we are walking a fine line in questioning that. There is no one script for life as a sex worker, no theoretical framework that can encompass all experience. There are many stories, and hers is just one. Good for her for having the guts to share it. Maybe it will serve to provide a vision of an alternative way to live a life after sex work for other women in the industry.
11/20/09
11/20/09
11/20/09
11/20/09
11/20/09
11/20/09
She's obviously just a really awesome woman.
11/03/09
11/03/09
Secondly, SA has, in some ways, more in common with things like eating disorders than drug or alcohol abuse. A healthy functional adult should still have relationships (including, where appropriate, sexual relationships) just as we all need food to survive. Unlike the substance abuser who simply becomes abstinent for life, the sex addict, like the anorexic, aims eventually for some degree of 'normality' (I hate using that word, but trust that people here know what I mean). This is unbelievably difficult. Anyone who has suffered with any form of addictive or obsessive/compulsive behaviour can tell you that learning moderation is the hardest thing of all. For the sex addict, learning to have normal, non-sexual relationships with other people is vital to their recovery.
11/02/09
11/02/09
i'm pretty sure that's what she had them for because i cannot think of any other reason why she would have them. #sexrehabrecap
11/02/09
11/02/09
11/02/09
11/02/09
11/03/09
11/03/09
What happens is that the flirting brings up whatever their real issues are: objectifying and sexualizing the opposite sex. Or maybe they’re using that to avoid really being intimate and showing their true colors, because they’re kind of acting out and kind of getting a high off of the sexualizing and the obsessing and the fantasizing. When you see it in action and you call them out on it, they get to admit that they’re doing it, they get to see how they do it, how it shows up in their lives. And it gives the therapist a chance to see how it shows up, as well. And then you get to really go in and do the work and look at what’s underneath and what’s driving it: the fear of really being known, the fear of being intimate in a healthy way, and not sexualizing everything. When people sexualize and objectify, it’s because they don’t really think that they have anything to offer other than their sexuality, and they also have a hard time seeing other people are real human beings: they seem them as objects. It’s actually really helpful when the flirting does happen. #sexrehabrecap
11/02/09
In fact, I know a lot of guys that would be interested in being tested for HPV. Are there other ways to detect it in men (especially the non-wart kinds) beyond random growths like this? #sexrehabrecap
11/02/09
11/02/09
11/02/09
I'd never been tested, am in my early 30s, have been sexually active and at plenty of times not used protection (with longer-term partners). I fully expected to test positive having heard the same statistics, so was really surprised it was all clear.
Certainly was a relief, and I apparently I don't need a pap smear for 2 years now... #sexrehabrecap
11/02/09
11/03/09
11/03/09
11/02/09
11/02/09
I'm going to go do some research and put plastic wrap around everyone!
11/02/09
11/02/09
11/02/09
11/03/09