Jenna is happy with her life now, saying that she's happy to be retired. The only time that she showed any regret about her career was when she spoke about her 7-month-old twin boys, explaining that she fears her past might affect how others treat them. She made a good point, though, when she said that when you get into the industry, you have to realize that, no matter what, you will always be a porn star - it will follow you throughout your life.


The best part of the whole episode? When Oprah talked about the importance of dick size.

The image associated with this post is best viewed using a browser.Once you go black…


The image associated with this post is best viewed using a browser.You might prefer dimpled balls.


The image associated with this post is best viewed using a browser.Short but sweet.


Bubbler balls.


The image associated with this post is best viewed using a browser.Day-old dog poop.


Double header!


The image associated with this post is best viewed using a browser.A dick with a rib cage gives a whole new meaning to "boner."


The image associated with this post is best viewed using a browser.Just for his pleasure.


The image associated with this post is best viewed using a browser.Shocker!


The image associated with this post is best viewed using a browser.Peyronie's bong.


The image associated with this post is best viewed using a browser.Camo, for the outdoorsy type.


The image associated with this post is best viewed using a browser.No veins.


The image associated with this post is best viewed using a browser.Straight shooter.


The image associated with this post is best viewed using a browser.Dude, where's my carb?


The image associated with this post is best viewed using a browser.Steel vagina.


The image associated with this post is best viewed using a browser.Ketchup and bun?


Guys who smoke enough pot to get a naked lady pipe are hippies, which is why they prefer their naked ladies all natural down there.


The image associated with this post is best viewed using a browser.It's rare that something is weird yet predictable.


The image associated with this post is best viewed using a browser.You suck butt.


You suck orange butt.


Three input draw.


The image associated with this post is best viewed using a browser.It's almost boring at this point.


Cirque du Soleil.

1.) Rasputin**
The Russian mystic's disembodied penis is on display at the Russian museum of erotica in Saint Petersburg, in a tall jar, measuring 11 inches—flaccid.

2.) Liam Neeson
In her autobiography No Lifeguard on Duty, Janice Dickinson wrote of her ex-boyfriend Liam Neeson, saying he had "the biggest penis of any man alive. He unzipped his pants and an Evian bottle fell out."

3.) Jay-Z
Accounts from several different groupies say that Jigga is well endowed, "The biggest dick you will ever see in your life, but boring. Huge. Like a one-liter Pepsi bottle. What do you call those things? The 20-ounce bottle. It's beyond huge. It could block the sun."

4.) John Holmes
Even though he had one of the most celebrated dicks in porn history, due to its size, there's no real documentation of his measurement. His manager claimed he was 13.5 inches, but Holmes' first wife said he measured it in front of her, before he started doing adult films, and it was 10 inches.

5.) Vincent Gallo
Have you ever seen Brown Bunny? (Link NSFW)

6.) Milton Berle
This rumor about how large his dick was has been around for a while, and at his Friars Club memorial in 2002, his friends joked about his size.

7.) Wilt Chamberlain
His nickname was "Big Dipper." He claims to have gotten a lot of use out of it.

8.) Tommy Lee
Thanks to the sex tape with then-wife Pamela Anderson, everyone has seen Tommy's peen. It's guesstimated to be about 8 inches, erect. (Link NSFW)

9.) Frank Sinatra
Ava Gardner once said of her ex-husband, "He only weighs 120, but 100 pounds is cock."

10.) Alexis Arquette
Some years before her sex reassignment surgery, Alexis had a lot of taping to do. (Link NSFW)

10.) President Johnson
"He was a lifelong exhibitionist who in college had dubbed his penis ‘Jumbo.'"

11.) Errol Flynn
He was notorious for his cock, which he once used to play the piano. A classical pianist!

12.) James Woods
That's the rumor, anyway, but we don't really care to find out definitively.

13.) Colin Farrell
It looks like a baby's arm. (Link NSFW)

14.) Peter Andre
Glamor model Jordan aka Katie Price says that her husband's penis is the size of a large television remote control.

15.) Anthony Keides
The girls on Metal Sludge—a site where groupies compare notes on the rock stars they've fucked—say the Red Hot Chili Peppers front man is a "very large" penis that is "beyond gorgeous."

16.) Tony Kanal
The girls on Metal Sludge also say that the No Doubt bassist—who is Gwen Stefani's ex—measures about 10 inches.

17.) Tony Danza
He's uncut and long. (Link NSFW)

18.) Ray J
Don't all guys with sex tapes that "leak" have big dicks? (Link NSFW)

19.) Dan Rather
The report on Rather is that "he is as hung as he is handsome and intelligent."

20.) Simon Rex
It's no wonder why he used to do porno.

P.S. Here's a preview of Hung:

*It is the personal opinion of the writer that big penises hurt.
**This list is not compiled by size order.

We've got some ideas!

"The First Cut Is The Deepest" is an obvious choice.

As is Basement Jaxx's "Where's Your Head At?"

A male friend said "Help" by the Beatles was the first song to come into his head, no pun intended.

If the father is himself circumcised, Garbage's "Bleed Like Me" probably makes sense.

But if you're feeling a little guilty, Jann Arden's "Insensitive" has quite the double meaning for you.

If there's been a family fight over it, Becks "Devil's Haircut" is a great passive-aggressive choice.

Where as the Bloodhound Gang's "Bad Touch" is just a way to express your displeasure.

If you want your son to have positive associations about his penis and your decision, Fatboy Slim's "Weapon of Choice" is definitely the way to go.

But if you believe it's not a big deal, Blink 182's "All The Small Things" is probably more up your alley.

And if you're just kind of cruel, well, "Limp" by Fiona Apple is sure to fuck your kid up worse.



Other suggestions, of course, are encouraged in the comments.

Music Soothes Circumcision Pain [Live Science]

(Remember, kids: Don't do drugs!) In this episode, Rich and I answer questions about love, porn, and discovering the power within your pussy. Got a burning question? Send it to potpsych@jezebel.com. (Or send us your phone number! We wanna talk.)

What Does "Power Bottom" Mean? from Pot Psychology on Vimeo.

The slogans on the CockBibs are so stupid, and the mental image of dangling a piece of cloth off an erect penis is so ridiculous, that it's impossible to imagine that they could ever be truly utilized, because most women who came face to face with such a thing would either laugh too much to actually suck a dick, or be completely turned off by the dork attached to it.

The creator of the CockBib came up with his invention after being a "victim of another sloppy blow job" and thought to himself, "Damn, I can't just fall asleep, I need to get up and wash my balls." It was my understanding that most guys liked having their balls licked and sucked on. It was also my understanding that most men make do with dirty underwear, a sheet corner, or, you know, evaporation, for a hideous problem like damp balls.

But what do I know? Maybe this is something that every man kept a secret from us for centuries up until now. I have to say though that if they're going to be babies about it, a bib is fitting.

The Five Most Inappropriate Cock Bib Phrases [The Sexist]
CockBibs

Jesse Bering writes: "If you've ever had a good, long look at the human phallus, whether yours or someone else's, you've probably scratched your head over such a peculiarly shaped device." I don't have one, but the form of a penis doesn't puzzle me at all; isn't it designed to fit inside of a vagina? Isn't that how nature works? Bering's piece is filled with lots of "heh" moments, like "the human penis is actually an impressive 'tool' in the truest sense of the word" and "If one were to examine the penis objectively-please don't do this in a public place or without the other person's permission…" Oh, LOL, dude. Ha.

He also takes special care to note that human penises are not like ape penises:

Having spent the first five years of my academic life studying great ape social cognition, I've seen more simian penises than I care to mention. I once spent a summer with a 450-pound silverback gorilla that was hung like a wasp (great guy, though) and baby-sat a lascivious young orangutan that liked to insert his penis in just about anything with a hole, which unfortunately one day included my ear.

Anyway, here is the ground-breaking information discovered about the shape of the human penis:

Magnetic imaging studies of heterosexual couples having sex reveal that, during coitus, the typical penis completely expands and occupies the vaginal tract, and with full penetration can even reach the woman's cervix and lift her uterus. This combined with the fact that human ejaculate is expelled with great force and considerable distance (up to two feet if not contained), suggests that men are designed to release sperm into the uppermost portion of the vagina possible.

You don't say!

But there's also something called a "semen displacement theory," which likewise relates to how the penis is shaped:

Since sperm cells can survive in a woman's cervical mucus for up to several days, this means that if she has more than one male sexual partner over this period of time, say within 48 hours, then the sperm of these two men are competing for reproductive access to her ovum. According to [researchers] Gallup and Burch, "examples include, group sex, gang rape, promiscuity, prostitution, and resident male insistence on sex in response to suspected infidelity." The authors also cite the well-documented cases of human heteroparity, where "fraternal twins" are in fact sired by two different fathers who had sex with the mother within close succession to each other, as evidence of such sexual inclinations.

So: The penis is "sculpted" in such a way — it has a head, unlike many penises in the animal kingdom — so that it displaces the semen of competitors from the vagina. [Does anyone remember when 'Harper's' magazine used to advertise a 'Penises of the Animal Kingdom" lithograph in its classified ad section? -Ed.]

It sounds crazy, but the theory has been "proved." How did the scientists do that? It the most scientific way possible:

The researchers selected several sets of prosthetic genitals from erotic novelty stores, including a realistic latex vagina sold as a masturbation pal for lonely straight men and tied off at one end to prevent leakage, and three artificial phalluses.

Yeah, but what about the semen?

The authors borrowed a recipe for simulated semen from another evolutionary psychologist, Todd Shackleford from Florida Atlantic University, and created several batches of seminal fluid. The recipe "consisted of .08 cups of sifted, white, unbleached flour mixed with 1.06 cups of water. This mixture was brought to a boil, simmered for 15 minutes while being stirred, and allowed to cool."

Seriously. They cooked jizz. Then the scientists inserted the phalluses into the faux vag at varying depths and measured semen displacement and found that a phallus with a head did a better job than one without. In addition, according to a separate study, "penile behavior" shows that "in the wake of allegations of female cheating, men thrust deeper and faster." To get the other dude's semen out!

Lastly, Bering explains how a woman can get pregnant by a man she never had sex with:

If "Josh" were to have sex with "Kate" who recently had sex with "Mike," in the process of thrusting his penis back and forth in her vagina, some of Mike's semen would be forced under Josh's frenulum… Were Josh to then have sex with "Amy" several hours later, it is possible that some of the displaced semen from Mike would still be present under his foreskin and thus may be unwittingly transmitted to Amy who, in turn, could then be impregnated by Mike's sperm.

Of course, all of these people would need to be obsessed with dick, like Bering, the author of this article, who, by the by, admits that he is gay.

Secrets of the Phallus: Why is The Penis Shaped Like That? [Scientific American]
Related: Grasping The Function Of The Human Penis [Greg Laden's Blog]

• A new study has found that exposure to family violence, even at a young age, can cause poor health among older African-American women. • Brittany Mayes, one of the five teens involved in the video-taped assault of a 16-year-old friend and fellow cheerleader, has been sentenced to a year of probation. • Click here to read an interesting interview with writer/filmmaker/actress/artist/musician Miranda July in which she discusses Gossip Girl, her new movie, New York hotels and internet gossip. • Forgetful? Fan of Memento? Buy a To-Do Tattoo Kit. • Chicago's Cook County sheriff's department is suing Craigslist for the many, many sex ads listed in its "casual encounters" section. • An Australian company is selling paper made out of wombat poop for the extremely environmentally conscious/cute-loving among us. • Baby bottle companies have agreed to stop using BPA, a potentially harmful chemical, in their plastic bottles. • 65-year-old Val Renfro was shopping when a man shoved her, grabbed her purse and ran. She grabbed her phone out of her bra, where she always keeps it, dialed 911, and chased down her thief with her car. • What a nightmare: Jean Driscoll, 72, has been burping uncontrollably for two years, and doctors still do not know what is wrong with her. • 70% of male drug addicts admit to taking drugs in order to increase sexual pleasure, the most popular choice being, somewhat surprisingly, cocaine (58%). Only 37% of drug-addicted women report using for this purpose. • A new study shows that older adults are better at controlling their emotions than young adults. Yet another reason to respect your elders. • Prostitute-rating website, The Erotic Review, has severed its ties with founder David Elms because of recent drug charges. • A Tehran court has ruled in favor of blinding the man who attacked Ameneh Bahrami with acid in 2004. Bahrami was left blind in both eyes, but the court ruled that, since her attacker is male and thus his eyes are worth more, he will only be blinded in one. • Using the model of a "pendulum of pain," counselor Steven Stosny explains to CNN why some women are unable to leave their abusers. • Get ready to get stabby: a defense lawyer in a Bahrain gang rape trial has argued that the three men who committed the crime should be acquitted because they only did it for "fun." • A 40-year-old British woman bit off her boyfriend's tongue during a drunken kiss because she was upset she was not pregnant. • Census data shows that minority children may become the majority by 2023. • A recent study found that watching violent cartoons may cause children to act out aggressively against their peers. • Amnesty International has issued a warning about gender-specific violence against women in Iraq. • Sad news: Anne-Marie Rogers, campaigner for breast cancer drug accessibility, has passed away. • In response to recent claims of mishandling rape cases, the University of Portland has changed its handbook with regards to rape victims and underage drinking. • Bed, Bath, and Beyond is sponsoring a contest for female (and only female) inventors to develop new products that will retail in stores. • Ohio has been named the "manliest" state in the country, based on stereotypical criteria such as the popularity of sports teams, tools, hardware, and the frequency of monster truck rallies. •

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