Los Angeles, October 18. Image via Filmmagic.

The Good:

Actress Paz Vega, working what eBay would surely term a "boho retro emo mod" 70s-referencing-dozen-yards-of-awesome.
Don't know actress Clara Lago's work, but she's a vision in raspberry.
You can't imagine how much I want this ensemble— not that I could rival the awesome evilness of Laura Ponte's expression.
When I wrote a paper on color symbolism in The Great Gatsby my sophomore year of high school, yellow stood for moral turpitude or something. But Paulina Rubio looks stunning.
I am not, understand, a muumuu apologist. Just yesterday a hipster in a boutique in Brooklyn tried to sell me one that my boyfriend described as a "Fauvist nightmare" and I said , "No!" But Laetitia Casta looks positively regal.
All I am saying is: were I a Spanish model, a la Raquel Sanchez Silva, and were I attending a high fashion event, this is exactly what I would wear. Luckily this falls into that .000001% of scenarios.




The Bad:
As we have established, I like Loretta Lynn. But Rosa Diez, sadly, is not actually Loretta Lynn and as such, this is a very odd choice for a Vogue Red Carpet.
This is what we refer to in my kitchen as an "accessories-breaker." Singer Marta Sanchez's festive getup could've worked, but went awry.
Eva Gonzalez: is this the tiniest bodice in the world? Inquiring minds want to know.
Once I had this friend and everyone was all, "Amy! Why did you take out your nose ring?" And she said, "because there was a chance someone could look at me and think, 'That girl still listens to the Smashing Pumpkins.'" Martina Klein would have done well to heed these words.




The Ugly (ish):

Claudia Schiffer looks smokin', yet awful.

Jade Jagger. Oy vey, as a man once said.

Images via Getty

•Natalie Portman, Wuthering Heights: Portman is slated to play Catherine Earnshaw, the female lead, in this new adaptation of Emily Bronte's novel. Catherine is in love with her adopted brother, Heathcliff, but marries a more suitable man and is then driven to madness over her decision. Verdict: Catherine is a variation of a hooker, marrying for stability and then being punished for it.

•Elsa Pataky, Giallo: Spanish actress Pataky (who is perhaps better known to American audiences as Adrien Brody's girlfriend) is set to play Celine, the kidnapped sister of an American flight attendant. Verdict: Beautiful kidnapped woman? Victim, duh.

•Marcia Gay Harden, The Tower: In this new CBS drama, Harden will star as a millionaire who buys a newspaper where the journalists not only break stories but also solve mysteries! Verdict: The plot might sound a bit boring, but Harden's character might come out OK, for the time being.

•Paz Vega, Triage: Vega, from Talk to Her and Spanglish, will play the girlfriend of a a colleague of Mark (Colin Farrel), a photojournalist, who investigates the mysterious disappearance of her boyfriend. Verdict: While the details are skimpy, the tragic girlfriend character just screams "Victim."

Two Female Leads [XKCD]
Portman Set For 'Wuthering Heights'[Variety]
Adrien Brody To Topline 'Giallo'[THR]
Harden, Logue Pick Pilot Projects[Variety]
Colin Farrell Makes Three For 'Triage' [THR]

The Good:

L to R: Diane Kruger sticks with a short one, and shows that pale is beautiful too, especially when set against black! Mary J. Blige is a goddess in green and Elizabeth Rohm shows that maternity wear can be gorgeous and appropriate. These women rock.


The Bad:

L to R: Does Beyonce have just one dress that she dyes a different hue before each event? Fergie looks like a drag queen no matter what, but wearing something that appears both perforated and, um, tasseled? Oy. And Jennifer Lopez just annoys us. Also, she suffers from Beyonce look-alike-dress syndrome. (Also, she is married to Marc Anthony.) These women all need a new look in a bad, bad way.


The Ugly:

L to R: What threw up and died on Molly Sims? What 80's time machine did Sarah Carter step out of? And what the fuck happened to the back of Paz Vega's top? These women might be better off naked!