Mary J. lets the color do the talking.


One of you once coined a very good rule of thumb: if you can't describe an outfit in a single sentence, there's generally a problem. Jessica Seinfeld should have taken note.


Jullianna Margulies: a stark twist on the LBD.


Dayssi Kanavo demonstrates that draped ruffles are kind of like conjugating a French verb: if the first one is, the second one isn't. Or, in this case, shouldn't be.


I'm glad that, like me, Joy Bryant appreciates the style of Mrs. Roper. But she's taken it to another level entirely.


If you're going to do disco sparkle, Hilary Rhoda shows how it's done: total glam.


Selita Ebanks' outfit is definitely in my 2009 top ten. I am almost blinded by the beauty.


Tinsley Mortimer demonstrates total socialite confident chic - digging the mini for a gala.


Maggie Rizer does glam 30s society bride - always a good thing!


Paulina Porizkova is skewing a tad Valley of the Dolls, no?


Whereas Thalia is totally Casino!

[Images via Getty]

However, her facial modeling indicated that the answer as to why Paulina and Janice hate her is "jealousy."

• Avril Lavigne and Deryck Whibley: Headed for divorce? According to sources:

She's been "partying hard and hanging with a number of male admirers." The two, married in 2006, have not been photographed together since last December. [Gatecrasher]

• Chris Brown sat down with Larry King last night for a "no-holds-barred chat." Expect it to air sometime next week. Interesting that it wasn't not live — no one could call in or Tweet and tell Chris how they really feel about him. [E!]
• Meanwhile Rihanna went dancing with Serena Williams, Queen Latifah and Paula Patton. [Gatecrasher]
• At her concert in Bucharest, Madonna spoke out against the discrimination of Gypsies. She said it made her "sad" that the Roma peple were discriminated against. The crowd booed. [AP]
• These blurry pix are the "three slick hipsters" who allegedly ransacked Lindsay Lohan's house. [NY Daily News]
• WTF: Some fans were escorted from their seats by security for "dancing too provocatively" at the Britney Spears concert in NYC on Tuesday. This is the same woman who shimmied half-naked with a snake while moaning "I'm a slave for you," right? [Page Six]
• Jon Gosselin's reaction to Kate Gosselin's interview with Larry King: "She didn't say anything. She just kept on redirecting and avoiding answering the questions." Jon adds: "When Larry's ready for me, I can answer questions." [MSNBC]
• Cops have located Jasmine Fiore's Mercedes, missing since her murder. Ryan Jenkins was seen leaving a hotel near San Diego on August 14 in the car — carrying a suitcase — it was the same suitcase that was later found to contain Fiore's body. [TMZ]
• Uh-oh: Gerard Butler's pug, Lolita, got into an "altercation" with a greyhound. The greyhound allegedly bit Gerard's dog twice — but the greyhound's owner says that Gerard's dog wasn't on a leash and that Gerard hit his greyhound on the head and shouted, "That dog should be put down!" [MSNBC Scoop]
• Ashley Olsen wore corduroy trousers and a turban to a Girl Talk concert in Brooklyn on Saturday. It was 90°. [Gatecrasher]
• Heidi Klum gets naked in her new coffee-table book, Rankin's Heidilicious, out in October. She says: "It's very naughty. I've been shooting with this photographer, Rankin, for seven years, and working with him is fun because he always makes me look different. And he always gets me to take my clothes off for some reason. We'll do some job, and then he'll say, 'Why don't we shoot some more things,' and I'll wind up without anything on." [E!]
• Lily Allen looks effing hot on the cover of Elle UK. Inside she says: "I wish I'd never written [my song] 'Not Fair.' You know, the thought honestly - really, honestly - never even occurred to me that it would scare men. I thought it might empower women. I thought women would go: 'Oh God, yes, at last somebody is saying it.' I didn't think it would put me in a position where guys would be like, 'Whoa, no, I'm not sleeping with you in case you write something about it!'" [The Sun]
• Derek Jeter and MInka Kelly: Secretly engaged. [Page Six]
• Anne Heche was on Letterman last night and bashed her ex-husband, Coley Laffoon. She called him a "lazy ass" and when asked by Letterman what Lafdoon does for a living, Heche said: "He goes out to the mailbox and he opens up the little mailbox door and goes, 'Oh! I got a check from Anne! Oh! I got a check from Anne! Yay!'" [People]
• Evan Rachel Wood spills some details about her True Blood character Queen Sophie-Ann: "She's not necessarily a lesbian. Her human partner is a girl, but I'm pretty sure she goes both ways [laughs]. I think vampires are like that in general." In addition, that interview links to an Alexander Skarsgård shower scene. Le sigh. [E!, E!]
• Singer, songwriter, Mandy Moore's husband and now blogger: Ryan Adams will be writing a video game column for website The Awl. [Page Six]
• Mad Men's Christina Hendricks on the big screen! She will star alongside Katherine Heigl and Josh Duhamel in the romance Life As We Know It. [Variety]
• Blake Lively has joined the cast of Ben Affleck's crime thriller The Town, which also stars Jon Hamm. [The Hollywood Reporter]
• Paulina Porizkova blogs: "I feel the need to constantly prove I'm not some dumb model." So she reads "lengthy sagas set in hot foreign lands." Her choices include: A Suitable Boy, The Soldier of the Great War, and Rain of Gold. "None of these books are under 500 pages," she writes, "so once read, they can be used to tone biceps or in step class." [Page Six via Modelinia.com]
• Are we supposed to be focusing on Carrie Ann Inaba's crotch in this "spay or neuter today" PETA ad? [People]
• Tom Sizemore: Charged with spousal battery. [TMZ]
• Bob Dylan's Christmas album: Not a joke. [NY Daily News]
• "Malaysia's government has barred Muslims from a concert by U.S. hip-hop stars the Black Eyed Peas next month because the event is organized by Irish beer giant Guinness, an official said Thursday." [AP]
• The new Darren Aronofsky film Black Swan has an explicit sex scene — "not just nice sweet innocent sex, we're talking ecstasy-induced, hungry, angry sex." This paper claims: "No wonder Darren didn't want Rachel Weisz, mother to his three-year-old child, to star." Huh. Well. Natalie Portman and Mila Kunis will star instead. [Daily Express]
• Joanne Woodward will take over her late husband Paul Newman's film project, Lucky Them, starring Marisa Tomei, which starts shooting in the fall. [Page Six]
• T-Mobile is pushing myTouch 3G, the product competing with the iPhone, and Whoopi Goldberg will star in some of the ads. Way less creepy than that Palm Pre lady. [AdWeek]
• A source close to Ryan O'Neal says there is no truth to the rumor that Redmond is getting his own reality show. [UPI]
• Robin Williams decided to get rid of his body hair for new movie World's Greatest Dad. "I shaved because if you don't, it's, like, animal-rights issues," he says. "With this, I said to [writer-director Bobcat Goldthwait], 'I think for this scene, I should take everything off because at this point he's literally shedding everything.' It's a breakdown, but in a weird way, a positive one." [LA Times]
• Isaiah Washington and his wife have fallen behind on their house payments and face eviction; the landlord claims the former Grey's Anatomy star owes $100,000 in rent. [USA Today]
• "The less and less you 'act,' great. I had a great acting teacher at Juilliard who said, 'Sometimes, Method acting can be like urinating in brown corduroy pants: You feel wonderful, and we see nothing.' " — Robin Williams. [LA Times]
• "I think women are bitchy. That's the difference. They'll smile at you and then kill you. The men just give it right at you. Oprah's just very cold. Oprah, if she don't need you, she don't know you. Streisand, they say she's desperately shy. I think when you've got $600million, take lessons on how not to be shy. If you've got $600million, say hello to everybody. They gave it to you." — Joan Rivers. [Daily Express]
• "Someone is going to take a tweezer to those brows, and I think her hair's going to change up a little bit. It's definitely time for her to sort of grow up a little bit. People are freaking out. There's a huge sort of battle, half the people are like, get them off! And other people are like, no! It's Betty! She's always going to be Betty, but yeah, the braces are gone, the brows are being trimmed, and she's going to get a little bit more of a swoop." — Ana Ortiz, aka Hilda on the upcoming changes on Ugly Betty. [NY Mag]
• "Being German, I had a pretty precise idea of what a German movie star would be like. But I've never been shot at in a film. Most of those scenes are actually quite funny to shoot. The blood is sticky, everything sticks to you and you're pretending to be in pain… I'm a big fan personally. Most actors are. All his movies are performance driven and he writes incredibly well for women. I loved Pam Grier in Jackie Brown." — Diane Kruger, on being in Tarantino's Inglourious Basterds. [HuffPo]
• "Man, we got so beaten over the head for that! It's not like the four boys and I wrote it. You get hired to do it, they give you a script and you learn your lines. If I could have, I would have done the whole thing in German, with subtitles-everyone in dirndls and on swings and milking cows. Each nominee would have had to ride in on a big cow and milk it." — Heidi Klum, on hosting the Emmys last year. [E!]

In a rather long (for a supermodel/reality show judge), self-examining essay on HuffPo, Paulina opens up about feeling like a failure, particularly because when people get fired in the entertainment business, it's rarely ever talked about:

Generally, admitting to a weakness in a cutthroat setting is far braver than keeping a stiff upper lip…the consequences are the same as announcing you've twisted your ankle to a bunch of muggers. Hence, all the celebrities that "quit" because they were exhausted, had personal conflicts, and the ol' scheduling problems.

She seems to really be feeling her, um, feelings about this, and she's clearly bothered by it. Unfortunately, unlike Janice Dickinson before her, Paulina doesn't dish on any animosity between herself and Tyra, or get into the details of what exactly went down. However, she does end with something that makes her incredibly likable—she wishes she gave Tyra the bird!

I wouldn't have minded to walk away with an extended middle finger and a victorious "I quit!"

Fired at 44 [HuffPo]

• Paris Hilton and Doug Reinhardt were kicked off of a yacht due to "inappropriate" behavior. The couple were making out, to the dismay of other passengers ,who cheered when the captain tossed them off. [Mirror]

• Jessica Biel says she'd love to star in a movie with her boyfriend, Justin Timberlake, someday: "If it was the right thing, yeah, I would love to costar with Justin," she says, "I just don't know what the right thing is, though." [People]
• Clay Aiken has apologized for comments he made about Adam Lambert on his blog: "I do apologize to Adam for my colorful (and negative) choice of words. I hope he can forgive me. I imagine he doesn't give a d—-! God knows he shouldn't." [USWeekly]
• Meanwhile, Adam Lambert is reportedly in talks to become the lead singer of Queen. [Reuters]
• Blind Item: "Which married actor is wildly flamboyant among friends and business associates, but when he sits down with an interviewer or goes out in public, he suddenly reins in the swishing and tries to pass for straight? Who's buying it?" [BlindGossip]
• Katie Holmes will perform at the PBS National Memorial Day Concert. "It's important to tell these stories and honor the sacrifice and service of these men and women and their families," Holmes says, "It's a real gift to be able to portray an American of such strength. I'm excited. I want to do justice to her story." [JustJared]
• Rapper Drake denies that he's dating Rhianna: "It's not like that at all. I'm being honest. She's just a friend, that's all," Drake says, "Nothing at all happened. I have the most respect for her. I think she's so talented." [TheSun]
• Katie Price, aka Jordan, says she wants a second chance with her estranged husband, Peter Andre. "‘I'll take Pete back tomorrow. I'll drop the divorce if he gives me another chance." [DailyMail]
• Peter, however, isn't too sure about a reconciliation: "I wish you had heard MY pleas when we were married." [Mirror]
• Is Zac Efron going to dump Vanessa Hudgens? "Zac's been told that to go from a teen idol to a major movie star, he has to distance himself from his HSM image," says a source, "One big thing that means is no more Vanessa. When people see them together, they think of their characters." [ShowbizSpy]
• "I went to a strip club to prepare for the role but it was a big disappointment. I'd taken these classes on how to dance but if you go to a strip club, no-one's dancing. Everyone just stands there. The girls are all just on stage and it's all about lap dances." -Heather Graham [ONTD]
• Barry Humphries says that if he wrote his own obituary, his alter-ego, Dame Edna would be left out completely: "It would be pretty well a catalogue of excessive compliments. It would just say what a very nice person I am, and what a generous hearted and sentimental person I am, and it wouldn't make any reference to Edna at all." [DailyExpress]
• ""Even though fame came all of a sudden, it didn't come too soon. I had already worked as a waitress in the real world, so I already had my group of friends and I'm still in touch with the same people. Only a few of my friends are actresses. In my friends I find unconditional love."-Jennifer Aniston [ShowbizSpy]
• Janice Dickinson on Tyra Banks' firing of Paulina Porizkova: "Tyra rolls like that, she likes to fire people just about when she's promising them large amounts of money, they get the axe, like I did.... then she takes the money and runs." [Examiner]
• Susan Boyle will perform a duet with Donny Osmond in Las Vegas. [Mirror]
• Annie Leibovitz is closer than ever to bankruptcy. [PageSix]
• "The deeper I got into my addiction, the tighter the lid got on my creativity. When I got sober the lid just came off. In seven months I accomplished more than I could accomplish in three or four years doing drugs."-Eminem [NYTimes]
• "The truth is what I'm a role model for is the ability to change culture, the ability for a young woman who may not be the most popular girl in school or the most beautiful or the best at everything to bust her arse and never give up and make something of herself."- Lady GaGa [ONTD]

In the article, an edited transcript of the proceedings at Minetta Tavern, Campbell is hard to dissuade from reminiscing about her era of fashion — Naomi's main conversational mode in the segment being wistful self-aggrandizement. Her train of thought is interrupted when the Czech supermodel interjects:

Paulina: But it's not the tight cliques anymore, which in a way is good, too, because if you were not part of the clique you were definitely left out.
Naomi: I don't think so. I loved being part of a group of girls. It was so supportive.
Paulina: You were in a clique, Naomi.

In the video, the exchange doesn't appear, and, what's more, it seems edited so that Porizkova and Campbell have as little interaction as possible.

Which isn't to say that the video is lacking for points of interest. Karlie Kloss, the 16-year-old St. Louis supermodel wünderkind, yearns for the days when fashion photography explored personality, and says the models of her generation are expected to be "blank slates" who "have to fit in the mold." (She also says she was extremely hurt when a rumor, which was and is flatly untrue, surfaced last year that she suffered from anorexia and was seeking in-patient treatment.) Caroline Trentini admits she still lacks confidence in herself and her body, and Iman reflects on being Yves Saint Laurent's muse for his "African Queen" couture collection. Lauren Hutton looks shocked when Trentini says that, until she took a holiday this winter, she had worked full-time all year, every year, for the past six years, from the age of 15 onwards. "That's insane, that should not be allowed," says Hutton. "That's criminal."

Porizkova takes that as her cue to get an ornery word in. Looking right at Kloss, who shot to industry fame when she was barely 15, Porizkova says, "If models were no longer 15 and 16, if there was an age prohibit, that would be a really great thing." It's impossible to tell Karlie's reaction before a video montage of tea being poured rolls and someone changes the subject.

Naomi Campbell, Iman, Caroline Trentini, Karlie Kloss, And More Discuss The Business Of Modeling [Style.com]

On how fashion is stupid, even though Linda Evangelista adamantly seems to believe it is not.

Modeling is just showing up and putting on clothes. I was beaten up in school and had paint poured over my head. I was tall and gawky and lost. I didn't know the language very well—that made me a target...I may not have loved it, but I'm not stupid. What other job could I have pursued where I could make $10,000 a day with no education? By the time I was working on Estee I had this problem where I would get physically ill before work every day. I would feel like I was going to vomit, and then I would call in sick and suddenly feel fine. That'w when I knew there was something psychosomatic going on. I hated it...I showed up to work on time and that was my orte. I wasn't interested in fashion like the Holy Trinity — Naomi Campbell, Christy Turlington and Linda Evangelista. They thought modeling was an art form. When you watch Linda work, you can feel like her bones are cracking — it's almost alien. I never thought matching my handbag to my shoes was all that important.

On how you should spend more time with your husband and kids but never own up to that publicly!

I never fear three-way love situations. Every party had a hand in it. I feel perfectly fine about being a homewrecker, especially since I've ended up being married to him twice as long as he was married to her. Making each other a number-one priority. So we don't have glorious careers, but we have a glorious marriage. I think it's so sad when women say, 'Oh, I've been spending my last few years being a mom.' It's like, you were someone before you had children, and you aer sure as hell going to need to be someone afterward. Being a mother is something I do daily, like showering or eating. It's not my career.

On her abortive attempt to Dance with the Stars!

I was the first to be sent home. I sat in my hotel room in LA and ate caramels for a week, until my family had to drag me out of bed. I should have guessed: I look like a giraffe on crack when I try to dance.

OK, there are just a few more things we need to talk about. Like the fact the portraits of Top Models past.

We have Eva and Yoanna:

Nicole:

Caridee:

"Dani":

Jaslene:

Absent are Adrianne (natch), Saleisha (who, as the reigning Top Model, might have a different place in the house we just haven't seen yet), and Naima. So what the hell happened to Naima? Even Robin from Cycle 1 made it into the house and she wasn't even in the top three.

Also, what's with the one giant bed that a bunch of the girls have to share? Is Tyra trying to make them into lezebels?

That's unnecessary, considering she has Marvita there to do that.

Guess who called first dibs on the big bed.

Okay, but for real, how fucking great is Paulina? She's loving it just as much as we are.

She's gorgeous and it doesn't seem like she's had any kind of cosmetic surgery or Botox. The woman is expressive.

Now I'm about to be a lezebel. Serious girl crush!