• According to this report, Jennifer Aniston is "struggling" to stay away from John Mayer:

Last week she sent him a "hand-delivered, perfumed note" before one of his concerts, and it read, "Play well, you always do." Then she moped around her mansion and sobbed giant old lonely spinster tears. [Daily Express]

• Rihanna is reportedly not nervous about testifying in court today. [E!, NY Post, NY Daily News]
• Meanwhile, Chris Brown will be working with Keri Hilson. [E!]
• Chris Brown will listen to Rihanna give a detailed description of how he struck her in the car today. And: Um, his next song may be called "Smash." [TMZ]
• Madonna's new daughter Mercy was flown to London of the weekend. [People, NY Daily News]
• "Eliza Manyoza, a banana vendor in Malawi's colonial-era capital Zomba, says she has never heard a Madonna song. She only knows the American pop icon as an "adopter" of orphaned children. 'I am told she is a nice woman who wants to help our children.'" [Breitbart]
• Anna Faris married Chris Pratt in Hawaii on Saturday. In the photograph, Pratt is wearing, tight, star-spangled flag-inspired swim trunks. [Radar Online]
• Lindsay Lohan has a new tattoo that the paparazzi can't read, even though they zoomed in on her arm as she arrived at Samantha Ronson's house in L.A. But actually, the big mystery in these photographs? LL's choice of hideous shoes. [Daily Mail]
• Lindsay Lohan's new show with Ryan Seacrest is all about giving people on the wrong track a second chance. [TMZ, NY Daily News]
• "Jon on Father's Day: 'I Don't Know' Where Kate Is." [People]
• Is Jon Gosselin moving to NYC? [NY Daily News]
• Was Perez Hilton assaulted by Will.I.Am from the Black Eyed Peas? And if so, why did Perez use Twitter as a means of alerting the cops? Wouldn't a phone be quicker? [Digital Spy, TechCrunch]
• Will.I.Am has a video response, in which he says Perez was rude to Fergie and called Will a "faggot," and then fans went crazy. [Dipdive]
• A play-by-play of Evan Rachel Wood at a trapeze lesson. [The New Yorker]
• One of the cops who is under investigation for breaking into the home of the woman acting as a surrogate for Sarah Jessica Parker originally said he was trying to sell stuff to the National Enquirer, but now he says: "I'm not exactly sure. If the National Enquirer didn't have anything to do with this, then I publicly apologize." [TMZ]
• By the by, Sarah Jessica Parker has a new car but doesn't know how to turn the lights on. [Page Six]
• If Victoria Beckham had her breast implants reduced or removed so that she could be in Vogue, it's just another testament to the power of Anna Wintour. [Daily Mail]
• Sienna Miller and Balthazar Getty: Back on? [Daily Mail]
• Is Prince William shopping for a "Malibu honeymoon pad"? [Daily Express]
• When Prince William and Kate Middleton booked a vacation house, they used the names Mr. and Mrs. Smith. [Telegraph]
• Prince Harry's been hanging out with ex Chelsy Davy. [The Sun]
• Kanye and Amber are still "very happy and affectionate." [The Sun]
• According to this report, Foxy Brown was "pampered" during her stay at Rikers Island — she got meals in her cell, makeup and unlimited TV and phone use. [NY Post]
• Joel Madden says Nicole Richie's second pregnancy is "a lot easier" than the first: "You've already been through it and it's not as intense and dramatic. We're a little more relaxed. It's actually kind of nice." [People]
• Kelly Osbourne is working on a book called Fierce: "It's about all the major things girls go through before they turn 21," she explains. "It's 16 chapters where I explain what I did and where I went wrong, and then I offer professional advice on how to do things differently." Noted. [WWD]
• Here's a Father's Day column penned by Nicole Kidman, who says: "My father, Anthony, is a very good and decent man. He's Catholic, and he has a strong set of values based on religion, but which really come down to being a good person, being tolerant of other people, and doing unto others what you would wish them to do to you." [Daily Mail]
• Rachel Bilson is so close to Hayden Christensen's family, his grandmother calls her "my future granddaughter." [Page Six]
• Dennis Quaid and his wife have agreed to a $500,000 settlement with the hospital that nearly killed his newborn twins by overdosing them with blood thinner. [USA Today]
• Cloris Leachman filmed a guest spot for Jada Pinkett Smith's new show, Hawthorne: "I was a patient. I threw a bedpan at her. It was a very emotional part. I used the bedpan to show my feelings. I made use of it. I didn't USE it. Haha." [NY Mag]
• In this column for the Daily Fail, Simon Cowell writes about Britian's Got Talent: "I didn't get into show business to make little children cry or upset a nice lady like Susan Boyle… But the question remains: should we have done things differently?" [Daily Mail]
• From an interview with Emily Blunt: "When I mention [former love Michael] Bublé's name, I am treated to a stare that is so glacial it could freeze an ant at 500 paces. Is she seeing anyone at the moment? 'Weirdly enough, I'm going to pass on that. You know, apparently I'm seeing everyone. I think someone said I was dating Anne Hathaway in a story recently.'" [Guardian]
• In this article, Betty White and The Proposal director Anne Fletcher have tea and it turns into a "gigglefest." [NY Times]
• David Duchovny and Téa Leoni: Still in love. [People]
• Oh, crap: Peaches Geldof has been studying Scientology for nine months. [Mirror]
• "It's not really an internship. I'm just there for two weeks to see how it works," she said. "I'm listening to the editors, seeing what the fashion department does, what marketing does, what the photo department does. It's all over the place. "Everything is interesting… I really like the fashion department." — Tallulah Willis on her stint at Harper's Bazaar. [NY Mag]
• Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony want Washington, D.C. to pay attention to their campaign to fight childhood obesity, especially among Latino kids. [US News & World Report]
• Kathy Hilton says she's not sad that her daughter Paris and Doug Reinhardt broke up: "Doug was riding Paris' coattails." [E!]
• Cristiano Ronaldo says of hanging out with Paris Hilton: "She was a really cool girl and we had a great time talking. I am a young man and Paris a young lady, and us talking in a club is just what normal people our age do." [The Sun]
• Matthew McConaughey and Camila Alves: Expecting baby number two. [People]
• Twilight's Ashley Greene says she is not dating Adrian Grenier — they were just attending the same surfing event. Ashley says: "It's kind of annoying sometimes because I have been linked to so many guys, but I have been single forever!" [Us Magazine]
• Behind the scenes of the new Harry Potter movie! [Guardian]
• There are three country stars in bikinis on the cover of Shape and one of them, LeAnn Rimes, talks about being accused of stalking by Ediie Cibrian's wife: ""I feel like people are looking and pointing at me…" [People]
• Congrats to Rachel Griffiths, who recently gave birth to a baby girl, her third child. [People]
• Duran Duran: Working with Mark Ronson. [The Star]
• Mark Ronson and Perez Hilton have had a falling out, and Perez admits he is "petty." [Daily Express]
• Looking for a cute anecdote about Robert Redford and Paul Newman? Click the link. [Daily Express]
• "It is exactly the same - it doesn't make a difference whether it is a woman or a man. It is about a passionate relationship, it is good, intense and quite an unusual story." — Eva Greene, on playing a boarding school teacher who seduces one of her female students in upcoming film Cracks. [Mirror]
• "People think cameras follow you 24/7. It's really not like that. We have set hours, set days, just like any scripted show." — Denise Richards, on It's Complicated. [Yahoo News via AP]
• Q: Are there any women you would get it on with? "Agyness Deyn. She's a little punk-rock Lolita. Beautiful face, beautiful shoulders. I look at her and think, 'Ooh, I'm so turned on. What's happening?'" — Katy Perry. [Times Of London]
• "I would argue that as culturally diverse as L.A. is, and it's one of the most diverse places on the planet, it is shockingly segregated. And that's why I love New York so much and, on one level, San Francisco. You step out your door and you're swept up in a sea of humanity whether you want to be or not. You can stay in your car in L.A. and avoid anyone you want to." — Benjamin Bratt. [LA Times]
• "There are enough reality-TV stars out there who clearly want attention and fame. I personally don't think they know what they're getting into, but it's a very human instinct. I never wanted to be famous. I just wanted to act. So it's very odd. Here I am doing something that's a real actor thing to do and I'm being treated like a celebrity. I was going to take this year off from being a celebrity!" — Anne Hathaway, who is doing Shakespeare in the Park. [NY Mag]
• "She is there every waking moment of my life. It's always something. Things happen to me every single day. I will be in a tiny café and suddenly a version of "Over The Rainbow" will start to play." —Lorna Luft, on her mother, Judy Garland. [Daily Express]
• "Don't get me wrong — I am thankful for a round of antibiotics or surgery when necessary but I have been helped tremendously by the practices [of acupuncture and cupping] that help the body heal itself. When implemented by a professional with experience, the benefits can work wonders." — Gwyneth Paltrow's been flinging GOOP. [Daily Express]
• "Children have always responded to me because I have that cartoon-character look. I'm over-exaggerated and my voice is small and my name is Dolly and I'm kind of like a Mother Goose character. So I think that it's going to be a fun thing." — Dolly Parton, on her children's book, I Am A Rainbow. [Time]

• A fan of Britney Spears rushed up on stage and tried to dance with Brit Brit on Saturday night in Connecticut. He was quickly surrounded by backup dancers and "escorted" away. There's video. [Perez]

• The dude in question (at Britney's concert) was drunk. He was arrested for breach of the peace and also booked for being "highly uncooperative" while in custody. [Daily Mail]
• Madonna's case in the adoption of Mercy James will be in the Malawi Supreme Court today. Will Mercy's biological father — who opposes the adoption — try to derail the proceedings? [Times of London, UPI]
• Madonna and Demi Moore have bonded over Kabbalah and the fact that they both have younger men; a source says they're hoping to arrange a double date soon. Do you think they'll have milkshakes? One glass, four straws? [Daily Mail]
• Madonna's daughter Lourdes hearts Lady GaGa! Madge and Lola went to Lady G's show in NYC and Lourdes was "singing along to every word." What's amusing is that since GaGa's megablonde and cartoonish, she's almost like a young Madonna, no? [Gatecrasher]
• David Hasselhoff was rushed to the hospital for alcohol poisoning over the weekend. His 16-year-old daughter found him unconscious and he was "barely breathing" when they got to the emergency room. [Radar Online]
• Amy Winehouse left the hospital — where she'd been after collapsing for dehydration — and went to a bar. [The Sun]
• Angelina Jolie's "curved bullet kill" in Wanted has been nominated for an MTV Movie Award in a new category: Best WTF Moment. Possibly because MTV would love it if Angie showed up. [E!]
• By the by: Andrew Morton, who penned biographies of Princess Di, Monica Lewinsky and Tom Cruise, will write about Angelina Jolie next. [Page Six]
• Casey Aldridge, boyfriend and baby daddy to Jamie Lynn Spears, is out of the hospital after flipping his truck. A "source" says "They're both at the house in Liberty [Miss.]... Now Jamie Lynn will have two babies to care for." [E!, People]
• "I'm not embarrassed about being bisexual," says Pink, according to this disreputable paper. [News Of The World]
• Pink has Twittered: "I just read that I'm bisexual. So 1991. Good thing people write articles about me so I can get my facts [straight]." Apparently the interview with the News Of The World was "entirely fabricated." [NY Daily News]
• Words you probably never thought you would see together: "Robert Pattinson's penis implant." [Yahoo News via Bang Showbiz]
• Crap. Jenny McCarthy has inked a deal with Oprah Winfrey's Harpo Productions and will develop a talk show, which, of course, Jenny will host. What do you think she'll talk about? Autism? Anyone? [Yahoo News via Reuters]
• Wolverine had an $87 million opening weekend, which is huge. But holding on to it might be tough: Star Trek opens this Friday. [NY Post]
• Now that you've suffered through Wolverine, know this: Hugh Jackman will star in Ghostopolis, a flick about a man who works for the government's Supernatural Immigration Task Force. His job is to send ghosts who have escaped into our world back to Ghostopolis. It's what they call "high concept." [The Hollywood Reporter]
• A writer hangs out with famed trainer Tracy Anderson: "According to Tracy, if I commit to an hour of her exercise regime six days a week, for the rest of my life, just like Gwynnie and Madge (whose remarkable bodies she proudly takes responsibility for), a 'teeny, tiny, lean and mean' figure will be mine. Voilà." [Daily Mail]
• Scarlett Johansson's directorial debut — a segment for New York, I Love You — is going straight to DVD. It's being called "unwatchable" and a source says, "It was really bad, so it was cut." [Daily Mail]
• Bethenny Frankel, one of the Real Housewives of New York, went out to a Hula-Hoop competition with a date… and the Times. She wore "a baby T and skin-tight Paige jeans." And said: ""My friends call me 'That Girl,' like Marlo Thomas. Like, I'm in New York trying to figure it out." [NY Times]
• Real Housewife Kelly Bensimon says of her ex, the guy she allegedly gave a black eye: "What guy does that? He acted like he was Rihanna." Her attorney calls Nick Stefanov a "jilted moron." [Newser via NY Daily News]
• Unsolicited uterus update: Elisabeth Hasselbeck says: "I'm definitely not paying attention to my pregnancy." That makes two of us! [People]
• Jay-Z is living in post-racial America, you guys. He performed at the University of Arizona and later blogged: "On the show as well were Third Eye Blind and Kelly Clarkson ... I thought that had to be the oddest pairing ever, but soon realized it's what I've always professed. There's NO such thing as Black music or White music only Good or Bad music." [MTV via RapRadar.com]
• Rihanna's new man is an ex; she was seeing Negus Sealy before she "made it." A source says: "He's a really smart guy - clever, good looking, very cool. All the girls adore him and call him the Love God." [Daily Mail, NY Post]
• Victoria and David Beckham are house-hunting in Italy; he's been playing for AC Milan while Vicky and the kids stayed in L.A. since the boys are enrolled in CA schools, but now that summer's coming, it's Ciao, Hollywood. [Daily Mail]
• John "The Player" Mayer is single again. It seems that model he was dating talked too much. To the press. Although who knows. [Gatecrasher]
• Cindy Crawford's husband, Rande Gerber, is being sued for sexual harassment by two female employees at a San Diego business he owns. [Page Six]
• Someone asked Russell Brand if he would shag reported virgin Susan Boyle. "I don't think I should be the one to do that," he said. "Susan deserves a nice strapping farmer from the North." Related: What is wrong with people?!?! [The Sun]
• Gisele Bundchen rarely poses for pictures with her new husband Tom Brady: "Tom hates being photographed," she explains. [Gatecrasher]
• Mark McGrath is no longer the host of Extra, so he's trying to make music again. Sugar Ray comeback album, people. Titled: Music For Cougars. Naturally. [Page Six]
• Princess Eugenie was mugged in Cambodia. [Mirror]
• Enrique Iglesias and his manager allegedly ran over the foot of an 11-year-old girl as they were leaving a radio station appearance back in 2007. Lawsuit alert! [TMZ]
• A Little Britain movie could be coming to the United States. [The Sun]
• Sting's daughter, Coco Sumner, fell and fractured her skull outside of a restaurant. She is recovering "well." [Daily Mail
• Vanessa Hudgens has settled a breach of contract lawsuit filed against her by a producer who worked with her very early in her career. [UPI]
• Another day, another claim that Coldplay's music is stolen. This time it's Cat Stevens — sorry — Yusuf Islam, who says: "There's been this argument about Coldplay stealing this melody from Joe Satriani, but, if you listen to it, it's mine! It's the Foreigner Suite, it is!" [The Sun]
• An excerpt from a Paul Newman biography has details about the actor's relationship with Joanne Woodward — which started when he was married to someone else. "I was probably too immature to make a success of my first marriage," Newman allegedly said. "Guilty as hell" was how he described himself about his first marriage, adding: "And I'll carry it with me for the rest of my life." [Daily Mail]
• Blind item: "Which D-list rapper got in a hemp, er, heap, of trouble with event sponsors when he lit up a joint at their bash? They couldn't kick him out because he was the 'big' celebrity name of the night, but they didn't end up paying him." [Gatecrasher]
• "Famous female singers tend to moan and whine a lot about being famous. Damn, I'm Pink and my bank account hasn't seen a red zero for a long time, and I can do what I love best — sing. Isn't that something that makes life better?" — Pink. [News Of The World]
• "When you come to film in Rome, the official statement to you is that the Vatican has no influence. Everything progressed very smoothly, but unofficially a couple of days before we were to start filming in several of our locations, it was explained to us that through back channels and so forth that the Vatican had exerted some influence. Was I surprised? No. Am I a little frustrated at times? Sure." — Ron Howard, on shooting Angels & Demons. [AP]
• "It is good fun and the part feels like it was written for me. Chuck has witty lines, gets to dress up and has very nice clothes […] [Sometimes] I [keep and] wear the suits. They're killer, don't you think? There is a lot of stuff I wouldn't wear, but he really puts it together very well. The whole outfit just comes together as an interesting look." — Ed Westwick. [Mirror]
• "Nia is like a rock star over there. You walk down the streets of Greece and people just go nuts, it's like you're with Tom Cruise or something." — Rachel Dratch, who is in the new Nia Vardalos flick, My Life In Ruins. [CBS News]
• "I've always rather admired you but now I realise you're an absolute ——. I'm only sorry I didn't get a chance to kick you when I fell over – maybe next time." — Judi Dench, in response to a critic who called her latest play "deeply dodgy" and "fit only for pretentious masochists." [Telegraph]
• "All of these shows are derivative of the shows that we used to do. The topics, some of the story lines, they're all very similar to what we did every day on the show for 11 years. When you have dynamic people that have some sort of conflict and put them in a confined space together, it's bound to be dramatic." — Ricki Lake, new host of Charm School, thinks the reality genre is a lot like her old talk show. [NY Daily News]

• Lindsay Lohan was spotted "cozied up together deep in conversation" with Leonardo DiCaprio at a Hollywood nightclub. Lindsay reportedly got up and started dancing in front of Leo, who "seemed to be enjoying it." [TheSun]

• "She was going for the big catch and when she spotted him in a dark corner of the club she headed straight for him. She quickly monopolised his conversation and made sure she had him all to herself," a source says of the Lindsay-Leo encounter, "Lindsay is a sharp tac. She wasn't wasting her time chatting up small fish. She seemed interested in the gents with deeper pockets, probably because her career is on a downward trajectory."[TheSun]
• Matthew Perry needs to lay off the video games: ""I play a lot of video games a lot of XBox 360," Perry says, "I played Fall Out 3 so often I had to go to a hand doctor. I used my hand too much and had to get injections in it." [DailyExpress]
• The "Oksana" referred to in Mel Gibson's divorce suit is reportedly Oksana Grigorieva, a singer who lives in a home that is linked to Gibson's. [People]
• Rumors are swirling that Uma Thurman is set to marry her third husband, multimillionaire Arpad Busson this weekend.People]
• Another handsome tennis player is taken, ladies: Andy Roddick married his girlfriend, Brooklyn Decker on Friday. "It was really simple but beautiful," says a source, "Just close friends and family." Congrats! [USWeekly
• Is Britney Spears being drugged by her dad? "Britney is sure her father is out to get her and that he's drugging her to turn her into a zombie who won't fight back," says a source. "Ever since her breakdown last year when she was hospitalized, she's been on prescription pills to battle her panic attacks. As part of the court-ordered conservatorship, Jamie has to make sure Britney takes the correct dosage because she forgets to take them otherwise. But lately she's been nodding off randomly in the middle of conversations and is convinced it's because Jamie's giving her too much much." [ShowbizSpy]
• Spencer Pratt has challenged Ashton Kutcher to a Twitter race, to see who can gain the most followers over 30 days. "If I win, Ashton and Demi [Moore] have to wash my car," Spencer says. And if he loses? "Heidi [Montag] and I will clean their house." Get your cleaning supplies ready, kid. [E!]
• Contrary to reports, Doris Day is still alive and doing well. ""My message is just be kind to your animals . . . and don't worry about me," Day says in response to the rumors of her demise, "Oh, yes, don't buy the tabloids either! With love always." [PageSix]
• "Well, I've been a mother for many years, of course, but this was the first time I'd actually given birth and so, yes, it did change me. I feel there's something that happens when you give birth that is very primal and which men will never understand, but women who have done it all do. I don't know how to describe it, but something in your body changes, there's a sort of seismic shift in your cells, and you're much rawer and more open than you used to be. That's not to take away from people who never give birth, because I think you can still have that experience in a different sort of way if you try to – but for me, the birthing experience altered my whole being."- Nicole Kidman on giving birth to her daughter, Sunday Rose. [DailyMail]
• Paul Newman allegedly hated it when people asked to see his famous blue eyes: ""There's nothing that makes you feel more like a piece of meat. It's like saying to a woman, 'Open your blouse, I want to see your t - - s." [PageSix]
• Marianne Faithful is single after breaking up with her partner of 15 years: "'I'm all right but I have had a bit of an adventure - my relationship broke up,' she says, "I felt very betrayed and lonely. I am much, much better now, but it is not good for your self-esteem." [DailyMail]
• Blind Item: "There are so many babies in Hollywood - and we're not talking about children. So we were happy to hear about this exchange. This actor and actress dated for ages, and there were many that thought that they'd get married. But they didn't and both have moved on to other spouses. Our actress is an A-lister, and was at an event earlier this month. When she crossed paths with her ex and his wife, our actress smiled very big and greeted the ex and the ex's wife very happily. She also took the time to say hello and talk very briefly with the ex's wife, who is an actress too, albeit not a very well known one. As soon as our actress left, the ex's wife started mocking her to her husband. He seemed uncomfortable, and rightfully so. Our actress was clearly only being kind and sweet and not a gigantic baby about it, but apparently the wife wants to be immature. Dennis Quaid was not involved."BlindGossip]
• James McAvoy would like Queen's "Don't Stop Me Now" to be played at his funeral, and he'd like to go back in time to "when dragons roamed the Earth." Related: I am now officially in love with James McAvoy. [Guardian]

Failures in this regard include Tom Jones, whose wife reportedly "beat him 'black and blue' after learning about one of [his] affairs" (sounds like she'd benefit from Sadie's recent post on women hitting men). But according to Usbourne, trust helps Vanessa Paradis and Johnny Depp deal with the the army of sex-starved harpies who constantly "mob" him. "I understand," Paradis sweetly says, "I want to mob him all the time. He's a very charming person." Usbourne also quotes Paul Newman, who nixed extramarital dalliances with the famous line, "why go out for hamburger when you have steak at home?" Comparing Joanne Woodward to meat? Not that awesome. But championing fidelity, even in the face of a male celebrity's supposedly irresistible onslaught of ladyflesh — that we can get behind. [Independent]

• Gisele Bundchen and Tom Brady were wed yesterday in Santa Monica. The bride wore Dolce & Gabbana, and so did her three dogs. [Us Magazine]

• A source claims that often, and especially towards the end of the marriage, Guy Ritchie would call Madonna "It." As in "It's in a bad mood today." And "We can't make It angry." This paper has a helpful illustration of Cousin Itt wearing a pointy bra. [The Sun]
• Blake is no longer incarcerated! Amy Winehouse's husband got out of jail yesterday and says of the divorce: "It's all going ahead - but I don't really know what will happen." And! "It's just nice to be on the outside again. Now I am going to get over my drug habit." Amy, who is still in St. Lucia, may return to London to try and "save her marriage." Really? [The Sun]
• Will Chris Brown go to jail? Will the charges ever be filed? Is his crime a misdemeanor or a felony? So many questions, not enough answers. [People]
• Robert Pattinson and Hugh Jackman went out and did karaoke together in Tokyo. Ten bucks says they sang nothing but show tunes. [E!]
• Daniel Radcliffe took a "mystery brunette" out on a date and the paps were there to make things even more awkward! [Daily Mail]
• Remember how Jeremy Piven abruptly quit Speed-The Plow? A grievance hearing took place yesterday, but no agreement was reached. Will producers take it to court? [AP]
• Piven says he dropped out of the play after being examined by a "Harvard-educated cardiologist affiliated with Yale." So there. [TMZ]
• Piven cried twice during the 20 minute hearing and said he'd been "incredibly sick." [NY Times]
• Producers failed to prove that Piven should not have dropped out of the play. [People]
• Initiation ceremonies require Princes William and Harry to drink through a straw from a toilet filled with beer and strip naked to run the length of the runway at the Royal Air Force base in Lincolnshire. This is how you "earn your drinking wings" or something. [The Sun]
• So you know the little girl who played Latika in Slumdog? Rubina Ali? Her parents had to be pulled apart after brawling with each other at her homecoming yesterday. A neighbor says: "They were hitting each other and tearing each other's clothes off." Apparently her mom walked out when Rubina was four, leaving her father to care for her, and her father called the mom a "money grabber." Countered the mother: "I'm not here for money, I just want to celebrate the success." [The Sun]
• Crap: Azharuddin Mohammed, the ten-year-old boy who played young Salim in Slumdog was beaten by his father yesterday. He was tired from his flight from L.A. and refused his father's request to leave their shack and face the media; his father started hitting him. There's a picture of the kid crying. [Daily Mail]
• Even though Jewel hurt her knees while rehearsing, producers are "desperate" to keep her on Dancing With The Stars. [MSNBC]
• Early word is that Lil' Kim is the one to beat on Dancing With The Stars. Can't wait to see her costumes! [People]
• Russell Simmons has agreed to pay $40,000 a month in child support to Kimora Lee Simmons. She has sole custody of their 2 daughters. And now: Gobs of cash. [AP]
• Loving, loving Beyoncé's hair on the April 2009 cover of Ebony! [The Life Files]
• LOL: please just look at the expression on his face in these high school yearbook pictures of Will Ferrell! [TMZ]
• Jodie Foster was caught speeding, and it was caught on tape, but the footage won't be shown. Apparently she got "annoyed," "angry" and "agitated" with the cops. [Page Six]
• Critics are praising U2's new album even as they critique Bono. Writes Washington Post's J. Freedom du Lac: "It's becoming increasingly difficult to hear U2's music without filtering it through your feelings about the other Bono, that strident, sanctimonious swirl of idealism, agenda and ego." [Reuters]
• If you're interested in the 1996 audition that changed Edward Norton's life, click the link at the end of this sentence. [ET]
• This is interesting: A film version of the musical Damn Yankees will star Jim Carrey and Jake Gyllenhaal. Who will play Lola? You know that whatever Lola wants, Lola gets. [Variety]
• Not sure why this behind the scenes video of Mischa Barton at a photoshoot is so dull, maybe because she has the same blank expression in every scene. [BlackBook]
• No idea what Woody Allen's new flick is about, but the cast is intriguing: Antonio Banderas, Freida Pinto, Naomi Watts, Josh Brolin and Anthony Hopkins. [Hollywood Reporter]
• Pink. Dolly Parton. Rocking chairs. For sale! [USA Today]
• The conflict between Charlie Sheen and Denise Richards has died down. So says Charlie's younger brother Ramon Estevez, whom I did not know existed. [E!]
• George Lucas will produce his first film, post-Star Wars. It's based on the famed Tuskegee Airmen. [Fox 411]
• The Coen brothers have a new film, and it's a short, fake commercial slamming the coal industry. [Guardian]
• MC Hammer's new TV show, Hammertime, will give viewers a glimpse of his life as "as a businessman, computer geek, proud father and husband." No word on whether he is too legit to quit. [AP]
• Jermaine Jackson is working on getting custody of his sons after one told a teacher that his mother had been slapping him repeatedly across the face. [RadarOnline]
• This didn't get a lot of press, but people in wheelchairs protested the Academy giving Jerry Lewis a humanitarian award at the Oscars because they object to the way he talks about "the cripples." Producers actually tried to make sure the foreign press wouldn't write about the incident. [Deadline Hollywood]
• Ann and Nancy Wilson of Heart will get a lifetime achievement award from songwriter's group ASCAP. [Reuters]
• Paul Newman was given a posthumous honour by the US Congress on Tuedsay. [Reuters]
• Be honest: How do we feel about the fact that Eddie Murphy will play Richard Pryor in a biopic? [Guardian]
• Blind item! "Which angry comic had a few cast and crew members fired from his hit show - all because they overshadowed him?" [Gatecrasher]
• "I think that what I'm getting to explore is really the heart of a woman. And I can't say that about everything that I've done. Or maybe I've explored the heart of a woman, but it's been like skating on ice. You know, often you don't get to swim in it. It's an in-depth exploration, and kind of a close-up look at a woman, at all the different ways that she… I think in a way it's about love. You know? It's about love… all the different ways that she loves and whether those loves are acceptable or not." — Holly Hunter, on Saving Grace. [The Daily Beast]
• "I know that Ben Stiller for example, he watches American Idol and he'll email me: 'Hey, who got kicked off?' you know, the night it's on. I'm like, dude — I can't tell you, sorry, you're gonna have to watch. Coming up tonight on prime time!" — Ryan Seacrest, on Idol's celeb fans. [Mirror]
• "It's particularly distressing to me to observe that we're fine with these young women, who it normally is, who are chased, stalked, put under siege by battalions of strange men who sleep in their car and follow them and take pictures up their skirts, and when they throw the dummy out or whatever, everyone thinks they've gone mad. I would defy anyone not to be affected by what is, I think, harassment really. I just think it's slightly below a moral code that I have as a man or as a human being. To chase people, it just seems very bestial." — Rupert Friend, aka Keira Knightley's hottie boyfriend, who is in two films of his own this spring. [Independent]
• "I did not kiss her. She kissed me. We had fun." — Teri Hatcher, on her on-screen smooch with Eva Longoria Parker for Desperate Housewives. [Mirror]
• "At times I was incapable of getting enough oxygen to get my lines out on stage, and sometimes I'd forget where I was in the play. This misconception that I was out partying was wrong. My problem was that as soon as I woke up, I wanted to figure out a way to get back into bed." — Jeremy Piven. [NY Times]
• "Ty said he thinks his best chance of beating me is if I get pregnant during the show so I would be too tired to dance. Talk about a strategy! Of course, that would be fine with me if it did happen, so either way would be a win!" — Jewel, on competing against her husband, Ty Murray on Dancng With The Stars. [People]
• "We pay millions and millions of dollars in tax. The thing that stung us [about the criticism] was the accusation of hypocrisy for my work as an activist. I can understand how people outside the country wouldn't understand how Ireland got to its prosperity but everybody in Ireland knows that there are some very clever people in the Government and in the Revenue who created a financial architecture that prospered the entire nation – it was a way of attracting people to this country who wouldn't normally do business here. And the financial services brought billions of dollars every year directly to the exchequer. What's actually hypocritical is the idea that then you couldn't use a financial services centre in Holland. The real question people need to ask about Ireland's tax policy is: ‘Was the nation a net gain benefactor?' And of course it was – hugely so." — Bono, on the criticism of U2 moving part of its business to the Netherlands to lessen its tax burden. [Irish Times]
• "If you get knocked down, setbacks in life, like applying for a job if they don't hire you, keep trying, keep getting up, keep doing it. Don't give up, that's what it's about. I'm so tough and so bad, I can be humble and lift another guy up." — Mr. T, giving advice to the unemployed. [Mirror]
• "'Brown Eyed Girl' I didn't perform for a long time because for me it was like a throwaway song. I've got about 300 other songs I think are better than that." — from 10 questions with Van Morrison. [Time]
• "Hmm, [how to add] a sexy sizzle to your look? Well high heels are probably the easiest thing, I would say. Instant glamour. Walking around in them naked, you don't need anything else really." — Dita Von Teese. [Daily Express]
• "I hope it won't change anything in how other directors and actors work with me. I mean, the Oscar's going in the loo, next to Sam's. I'm not taking it on a set. I'm just going to work the way I've always worked, which is just to get on with it." — Kate Winslet on her Academy Award. [Daily Mail]

• Amy Winehouse and Blake Formerly Incarcerated: Dunzo. He's left her for a German model; she's admitted that it was never going to last and that they were "only together for sex." Keep in mind that this report comes from a terribly disreputable paper. [News Of The World, Page Six]
• By the by, Blake Fielder-Civil's jail sentence appeal was refused by two judges. [The Sun]
• "Impeccable" sources say Guy Ritchie is banking $70 million of Madonna's money as part of the divorce settlement. That kind of cash will buy a lot of rounds at the pub! [Perez Hilton]
• Oy, Alex Rodriguez is a "Kabbalah school dropout." Madonna will not be happy about this. [MSNBC]
• That was quick: Michael Jackson has settled his court case in which be was being sued by a sheikh. [BBC News]
• Bloody hell. The Twilight sequel has been greenlit. [UPI]

• Brad and Angelina's family is just as cute and perfect in real life as they claim to be. [Page Six]
• OMG Barbara and Jenna Bush helped take Sasha and Malia Obama on a tour of the White House and all of the girls totally jumped on the beds! Says Laura Bush: "They're really tall beds; you need to get a running start." [People]
• Will Leona Lewis team up with Beyoncé and Jay-Z for Barack Obama's inauguration concert? [The Sun]
• Larry Rudolph, Britney Spears' longtime manager, discusses her documentary: "There just came a moment where she decided to get up, brush herself off and move forward. She had hit a low point in her life. She realized that and everybody else realized that. She wanted to get to a better place." Plus, there's A clip! [LA Times]
• Britney made an unexpected appearance in court Friday for a hearing on her ongoing conservatorship. [Yahoo News]
• Jessica Alba ate Nutella crepes at a downtown Manhattan restaurant, where the staff said the meal was "on the house," so she left a $200 tip. Classy. [Page Six]
• In this in-depth piece about Nicole Kidman, we learn that while Keith Urban is on tour and Nic rides around in the tour bus, "She likes to sneak away and go to people's garage sales. 'All I need is a hat, and I go,' she says. She bought little ceramic candle holders at one sale, she says, and embroidered Christmas stockings at another, 'when it wasn't anywhere near Christmastime. I love it.'" [Washington Post]
• Johnny Depp's movie took over a highway in Wisconsin; the detour traffic made a road collapse. Whoops! [AP]
• Ooh: Today is the day that Boy George is due to stand trial; he's accused of assaulting and falsely imprisoning a male escort. [The Star]
• How do people in the Bronx feel about the name Ashlee and Pete Wentz chose for their baby boy? Not impressed. [NY Times]
• "Bronx is beyond precious. I'm over the moon with joy," says Jessica Simpson. "Life is a beautiful miracle. Ashlee and Pete are healthy, happy and enjoying every moment." Cool, cool. Do people really say "over the moon"??? [UPI]
• Nicolette Sheridan, who ended her engagement to Michael Bolton about three months ago, was seen making out with "Hollywood Lothario" David Spade Friday night. Just let that image settle in. [Star]
• Even though Michael Phelps has professed his love for McDonald's, he has a deal promoting Subway. How did the sandwich chain land the deal? [AdAge]
• Illeana Douglas has a (laminated) message for the paparazzi, you should click and see. [DListed]
• Pleasure principle: Janet Jackson is going to take a break from music to focus on having a baby with her boyfriend Jermane Dupri. [Daily Express]
• The economy takes no prisoners: The Tyra Banks Show is moving to the CW's afternoon block after being in syndication for four seasons. Stations have been making budget cuts, so Tyra's production schedule will be cut to 26 weeks from 34. [Reuters]
• Natasha McElhone says her mission now, besides acting and providing for her family, is to complete some of the work her late husband, a doctor, began: "to finish his life, to finish his unfinished business." [LA Times]
• In this interview with Stephen Colbert, he discusses meeting Eleanor Holmes Norton (the District's delegate in Congress): "I felt so dirty. I felt like a piece of meat. I find being a piece of meat very exciting. In my last life, I think I was a veal cutlet." [Washington Post]
• Paris Hilton has been "constantly texting" Benji Madden and trying to show up at clubs where he is supposed to be. [Mirror]
• You can buy a silk couch owned by Jenna Jameson on eBay if you have $9,500 to spare. It's pearl gray. [DListed]
• Even though the economy is in the crapper, there's stuff celebrities won't give up: Mad Men's Elisabeth Moss needs her coffee; Jessica Biel must travel first class; Hilary Swank gets facials; supermodel/ANTM judge Twiggy must have pink Champagne, and much more [WWD]
• Dora The Explorer is getting a new voice: Will kids notice? [Page Six]
• Blind items: 1. Which ex-couple — an actor and a model — still share some aspects of their sex life? Both are known to sleep with a famous Lower East Side topless dancer who has a reputation of never going home alone. 2. Which TV host has such good rapport with his fetching female co-host that his wife has correctly guessed they're having an affair? [Page Six]
• No Doubt: On tour, summer 2009. [People]
• Ben Stiller and Chris Rock: "Israel is better than Hollywood." [AP]
• Dita Von Teese is suing Macmillan Publishers, which printed Patti O'Shea's In Twilight's Shadow, a paranormal romance novel about demon hunting. For some reason, Dita's face is on the cover. She certainly did not give permission. [Yahoo News via E!]
• Now that the Daily Mail has apologized to David Duchovny for printing a story about him having an affair with his tennis instructor, Duchovny's dropped his $1 million lawsuit. [E!]
• Travis Barker is suing the owner and makers of the "defective" Learject that crashed September 19, killing four and leaving him and DJ AM with severe burns. [Yahoo News via E!]
• So you know how Michael Lohan — Lindsay's dad — was going to box for charity? The parole board has stepped in, saying the boxing match can't happen because he spent 20 months in prison for attempted assault. Whoops! [Yahoo News]
• Will the Golden Globes not happen again this year? Last year is was a writers' strike; this year a Screen Actors Guild strike could cancel the event. [Fox News]
• Hollywood veterans and experts from the Massachusetts Institute of Technology are spending $25 million on a lab called The Centre for Future Storytelling. Matt Damon is involved. [Times Of London]
• Lily Allen sought therapy after her miscarriage: "I was in a very, very dark place after the whole thing happened. That was the toughest thing I've had to go through in my life. [Therapy] is really, really helping me. I feel it's getting better and everything's going to be OK." [Mirror]
• Crazy stuff in this Q&A with Quincy Jones: His dad worked as a carpenter for the black mob, and in 1974 Q had two brain aneurysms. Oh, and Q talks about Frank Sinatra: "[He] was one of those guys where he liked you or he didn't. I got to know the Frank that nobody wrote about, the guy who visited Billie Holiday in the hospital to make sure her bills were paid and who took care of Amos and Andy when they were down on their luck. He was a stand-up guy who didn't see color, and that was rare back then." [Newsweek]
• Padma Lakshmi went to see the Foo Fighters and Dave Grohl dragged her on stage; she ended up playing tambourine with the band and getting hit on by Taylor Hawkins. [Page Six]
• Meg Ryan's Bel-Air house is for sale, if you have $19.5 million to spare. You get 6,877 square feet, a pool, spa, and guest house. [TMZ]
• Cedric the Entertainer may not be the obvious first choice for a Broadway drama, but he's getting good buzz for being in the David Mamet play American Buffalo. [NY Times]
• Cops are looking for a "Casanova conman" who claims links to Heath Ledger, Robert De Niro and Keith Urban and has left broken hearts and empty wallets across Australia. [News.com.au]
• Wow. A Keith Richards easy listening album. With a jazz version of "Over The Rainbow. Wow. [Telegraph]
• A doozy of a headline: "Camilla Admits To 'Letting Herself Go' Since She Married Charles... And Vows To Take Up Tai Chi As A New Year's Resolution." Lulz. [Daily Mail]
  
• Warren Beatty is suing over the rights to comic strip detective Dick Tracy. Apparently he's working on a Dick Tracy TV special? Who knew? [Reuters]
• Paul Newman's will was made public and he left his personal property, including real estate, to his wife, Joanne Woodward. His Oscars and other awards went to the Newman's Own Foundation; his airplane and race cars will be sold, with proceeds going to his estate. [AP]
• A Smashing Pumpkins show has been postponed; Billy Corgan's sick! [UPI]
• Billy Zane's parents closed down the Chicago med school they owned, leaving some students in the lurch. [UPI]
• Enya: Might tour for the first time ever. [Reuters]
• Oh, good (oh God?): The Vatican's newspaper has finally forgiven John Lennon for declaring that the Beatles were more famous than Jesus Christ. Plus, The paper says the Beatles made music that is better than "standardized, stereotypical" songs being produced today. [Reuters, AP]
• Speaking of the Beatles, Paul McCartney says his conflict with John Lennon was over before the singer was shot. [UPI]
• investigators say Olivia Newton-John's missing boyfriend probably drowned while on a fishing trip. [News.com.au]
• A man who waved Samurai swords at a Hollywood Scientology building had a "previous relationship" to the church; he was shot and killed by a security guard. [AP]
• Rocker Bryan Ferry is dating his son's ex-girlfriend. The Roxy Music star is 63; the lady in question is 27 and his son is 22. A "pal" says the lady had fling with the son about 5 years ago. Yuck. [The Sun]
• Jodie Sweetin has filed for legal separation from her husband but is "trying to stay positive for Zoie," their 7-month-old daughter. [People]
• Why is a letter Princess Diana wrote to her royal footman on her honeymoon up for sale? And how sad is it that she mentions how "terribly lonely" she is? [Daily Mail]
• Rod Stewart and Penny Lancaster are trying for a baby. Yeah, he's 63, so what? [Mirror]
• "Ever since her Oscar nomination, Sophie Okonedo has been offered plenty of 'mini-skirted girlfriend' parts. But she'd much rather stay home and do nothing." [Telegraph]
• Blackadder: a Christmas comeback. [The Star]
• A New York rabbi paid $2500 at an auction to go out with ice skating queen Oksana Baiul. He says: "Well, I'm single, it's for charity, and she seems like a nice Jewish girl. I guess I'm the luckiest guy in my congregation." [Page Six]
• "My son would have been at that rally in Chicago when the first African- American president was elected, and I'm sure he would have gone up onstage and grabbed the microphone as only he could." — Ol' Dirty Bastard's mom. [Page Six]
• "I got drunk and lied to him. I said 'I've lost my keys and I can't wake my mum. Can I stay on your sofa?' He went to brush his teeth. I took my clothes off and jumped in his bed. It's the only way I can ever get together with people." — Lily Allen on her seduction technique. [Mirror]
• "I laugh when people say we don't get on. Of course we row. But we are best friends as well as partners. I don't think we'd know what to do without each other." — Kate "Jordan" Price on her relationship with her husband, Peter Andre. [The Sun]
• "Axl's a friend, and I don't want to compromise that. But as for 'fun' crazy: He wrote his (half) brother, Stuart, a $25,000 check every day to throw these lavish theme parties. It was like, we're in Indianapolis, so there were Formula One cars everywhere, with all the girls dressed up in pit-crew uniforms. It was decadence at the highest level I'd ever seen, a Caligula kind of outlandishness. There were orgies, sure. Was I involved? Yes. Well, I was in the same room — we'll leave it at that." — Lars Ulrich on being on tour with Axl Rose and Guns N Roses back in the day. [Perez Hilton]
• "Something else comes out of you when you become a parent and, as you get older, you start to see more character in your face. Now, when I look at myself, I just see somebody at peace, and I see a mom, and I see my own relatives in my face – and that’s a kind of beauty that exists for everybody and doesn’t disappear." — Angelina Jolie. [Daily Mail]

• Angelina was on the red carpet in New York over the weekend, talking about her family. "Everybody's great," she said. "The babies are getting big and healthy and developing personalities." She says she has been a "little bit" sleep deprived but she and Brad find relief: "We have some help a couple of nights a week, so on those nights we catch up on our sleep." [UPI]
• Brad Pitt was there too: They are obviously not broken up. [Daily News]
• More from Angie: "Even if we lock our door, the children come knocking. We often try to have a bath alone together at the end of the night and sit and talk, but they hear the water and want to jump in. But it’s fun and it’s lovely – the thing about having six is once you’ve passed three or four, it’s so crazy anyway that it’s just more chaos and it’s all OK." When asked if she feels if she has completed her family, Angie said, "No." [Mirror]
• Angie somehow found time for two new tattoos: She now has the map coordinates of Nice, France, where her twins were born. [LA Times]
• But! As for adopting more kids Angie says: "I think we're going to wait a little while." [People]

• Lindsay Lohan is also feeling brood-y. She says: "At some point, I want to adopt a kid… A child in need or a newborn from another country. I’m not sure yet." [Mirror]
• Samantha Ronson sent Perez Hilton a check for $86,832: The amount to cover his legal fees in her failed libel lawsuit. [E!]
• Lauren Conrad on the rumor that she hooked up with Justin Bobby: "These accusations are so crazy, it's difficult for me to take them seriously. While my usual taste in guys isn't always perfect, I do prefer they shower regularly." [E!]
• History was made Saturday night, when Tyler Perry became the first African-American ever to launch his own major TV and film studio. Oprah cried. [People]
• Speaking of Oprah, she is being sued by the former headmistress of the Big O's Leadership Academy for Girls in South Africa for defamation of character. [E!]
• Amy Winehouse supposedly received a "welcoming" phone call from the Church of Scientology, in which they offered her detox help. So crazy it just might work? [Mirror]
• Amy Winehouse has one thing going for her: She's not broke. [Mirror]
• Blake Incarcerated sent Amy's dad a "vile and abusive" letter filled with threats. Sigh. [The Sun]
• Holy crap, did Courtney Love have gastric band surgery to stay thin? [Perez Hilton]
• Eddie Van Halen: Engaged. [People]
• Elizabeth Taylor is "heartbroken" after the death of Paul Newman. They starred together in Cat On A Hot Tin Roof and were friends for years. [Daily Express]
• Gossip Girl is pulling in better ratings than it did a year ago, but the producer says "We try not to live and die by the ratings." [NY Daily News]
• David Letterman has a great Sarah Palin recap video. [Deadline Hollywood]
• Miss Jackson is still nasty: Janet has postponed 3 more shows our her tour due to illness. [AP]
• Bruno, aka Sacha Baron Cohen, was at the Stella McCartney show, being disruptive by clapping along to the music "way too loud." Paul McCartney was just a few seats away. [Daily Express]
• Victoria "Posh Spice" Beckham in yet another pair of ridiculous shoes. [The Sun]
• Johnny Depp wants to be in the Little Britain movie. Computer says yes? [Mirror]
• Madonna's Sticky & Sweet tour kicked off this weekend in New Jersey; there were "guest appearances" by Kanye West and Justin Timberlake and the performance was a "success." This review says: "The 50-year-old has toughened up, replacing some of the frothiness of her pure pop days with a bracing physicality." [Variety]
• Kylie Minogue was seen "looking cozy" with a "dark-haired mystery man" in Paris. Get it! [The Sun]
• Rachael Ray has a benign cyst on her vocal cord, which she'll have minor surgery to remove in early December. [UPI]
• So you know how we heard that Ali Lohan might work with Johnny Wright, who had produced Justin Timberlake and the Jonas Brothers? Johnny Wright says: "Johnny Wright has never met with Ali Lohan, has never been introduced to Ali Lohan, nor has he had a meeting with Ali or Dina Lohan regarding Ali's music career. While he wishes Ali Lohan the best in all her endeavors, Mr. Wright has never had any intention of speaking with Ali Lohan regarding her career. Any story that has surfaced about such a meeting holds no merit and is completely false." Haha wow. [Page Six]
• Salma Hayek wore a traditional Bavarian dress on German TV and her cups runneth over. [The Sun]
• Pam Anderson delivered Hugh Hefner's birthday cake — in the nude. [Mirror]
• Beyoncé's "wedding" ring is about 18 carats and worth about $4.3 million dollars. Don't drop it down the drain! [Daily Mail]
• Blind items! #1: "Which wife of a rock superstar has been punishing him for going to strip clubs without her? The spouse has spent about $30 million on a house they don't really need to get back at him for not including her in his adventures." #2: "Which boy-band member is going to shock his female fans when he comes out of the closet?" [Page Six]
• Emma Thompson says her her biggest accomplishment in life was "giving birth without painkillers" and her happiest moment was: "just after giving birth without painkillers." [Daily Express]
• David Hasselhoff's ex-wife blabs about the Hoff being a drunk: "He’s an alcoholic. He has a disease, just like cancer." [Daily Mail]
• Shakira's for Obama. [AP]
• Rumer Willis was named after the British writer Rumer Godden: "I don’t know whether my mom had read much of her stuff, I guess she may have just been in a bookshop and liked the sound of it. I used to get teased at school, Rumer Tumor, that kind of thing, but I’ve got used to it. You do." [Times Of London]
• David Spade has texted Heather Locklear to check in with her. He says: "I think there's no one that doesn't feel for her or have nice things to say about her in my experience." [People]
• Bond vs. Bond! Sean Connery's new book, Being A Scot, has sold only 5,000 copies since its release in August. Roger Moore's biography, My Word Is Bond, is doing much better. [Telegraph]
• Emma "Baby Spice" Bunton says The Spice Girls are over. "We're all in our 30s now and, let's face it, by then most people aren't doing the same thing they were when they were 18, which is how old I was when I first met the girls. I'm ready to move forward." [Daily Mail]
• A judge has ordered a Texas doctor and his wife not to distribute video footage of Anna Nicole Smith's breast augmentation surgery in 1994. Thanks, judge. [The Star UK]
• Joss Stone will make her small screen debut in The Tudors, playing Henry VIII's wife Anne of Cleves. [Daily Express]
• Andrew Lloyd Webber doesn't want his kids to inherit his £750million fortune. He says: "They aren’t bothered. They don’t think that way. It is about having a work ethic – I don’t believe in inherited money at all. I am not in favour of children suddenly finding a lot of money coming their way because then they have no incentive to work." [Mirror]
• Does Marilyn Manson owe his former bandmate $20 million in back pay? He'll be in court November 3 and we'll find out. [E!]
• Sad face: Carol Channing fell at her home and broke her leg and hip. Speedy recovery! [Modesto Bee]
• If you want to know all about John Lennon's adultery pact, when he left Yoko Ono for a year of "reckless debauchery" and told her, "You must take a lover too," then click here. [Daily Mail]
• Kevin Bacon will produce a Showtime series called The Booths about the man who would assassinate Abraham Lincoln. [Variety]
• Rod Stewart's son is in rehab. [The Sun]
• Jude Law picked up some dancer at a club in NYC and she stayed "holed up" in his hotel room for three days. [Page Six]
• There's Bull Durham sequel in the works. No, really. [Page Six]
• "I'm going to stop playing when I'm 67 and work on what I really want to do, which is to be a minister, like Little Richard." — Carlos Santana. [Reuters]
• "I've always admired her talent. She's somewhat hampered sometimes by having this gorgeous face, the most gorgeous face on the planet. She's on covers and all that stuff. But she is a great talent, and it would be easy to overlook that, except after seeing this you realize that she is this great, talented person." — Clint Eastwood on Angelina Jolie, who stars in The Changeling, which he directed. [People]
• "I really loved my husband's penis. It was really pretty." — Pink. [Mirror]

• Yesterday we heard there was no sex tape; today Britney wants to buy the tape she made with Adnan Ghalib from him, so she can destroy it. Even if they're not having sex on the video, she's probably loopy and naked. She might need to give this guy a lot of cash to make him go away. [The Sun]
• Meanwhile, Adnan Ghalib has filed for divorce. Don't forget: He was married the whole time he was dating Brit. [TMZ]
• New show Rock of Love Bus with Bret Michaels has been halted after a crew member driving a production vehicle fell asleep at the wheel and killed two 19-year olds in another vehicle. Bret says: "As a father of two, I cannot even imagine what the families must be going through at this time. I will make every attempt to reach out to them to let them know that my heart and prayers are with them during their time of grief." As of yet, neither Bret nor VH1 have contacted the families. [Perez Hilton]
• Angelina Jolie: In therapy? So are millions of Americans. More on this in Midweek Madness. [Star]
• DJ AM and and Paris Hilton have been texting. He wrote to her: "so lucky to be alive." Paris says: "I think God saved him." [E!]
• You know how Courtney Love said Kurt Cobain's ashes had been stolen? An Australian artist named Natascha Stellmach claims to have the ashes. She plans on putting the ashes in a joint and SMOKING them in a joint in a "secret Berlin location." Then she will announce that she feels stupid and contagious. [NY Mag]

• Sharon Stone wanted her 8-year-old son to get Botox injections in his feet. This was revealed in some custody papers; apparently the kid had a "problem" with "foot odor." Mom suggested Botox; the kid's dad, Phil Bronstein, thought of the "simple and common sense approach" of making sure the boy wore socks and used foot deodorant. [LA Times, TMZ, HuffPo]
• Jennifer Aniston is tanorexic! She bought two tanning beds — at $34,000 each — for her L.A. home after the one she had broke. "She freaked out because the next day, she had a major photo shoot," sez a source. "She had to go to a public tanning place. She learned her lesson after that — always have a back-up." Or, you know, just go to Mexico. [Star]
• This picture of Heather Locklear "arriving" at the police station after her DUI bust is just sad. [The.Life Files]
• Oh, wow: The woman who dialed 911 on Heather Locklear is Jill Ishkanian, a former Us Weekly staffer who was under investigation by the FBI. Right after she called authorities, she called a paparazzi agency. Plus: Ishkanian apparently is the only witness who says Lockelear was driving erratically and that she was drunk, even though it's already established she was not under the influence of alcohol. Ishkanian was in the movie America The Beautiful talking about using celebrities. She runs CelebrityBabylon.com. [TMZ]
• Lindsay Lohan may be on vacation in Mexico but her legal troubles never take a break. Her lawyers were in court seeking dismissal of a portion of a lawsuit filed against her by her former bodyguard, David Kim. He claims she owes him money; LL's lawyers sat there's no evidence of fraud. [E!]
• Daniel Craig was in East Hampton and heard bagpipes coming from inside a restaurant. He walked in and found out it was a baptism celebration. Craig ended up holding the baby and posing for photos. The softer side of Bond! [Page Six]
• Despite reports that it's back on, Jimmy Kimmel and Sarah Silverman are just friends, says a publicist. So calm down. [UPI]
• Oh no: Audrina Patridge wants her own show. And MTV is actually discussing it with her! [Perez Hilton]
• Sean Penn's playing San Francisco’s first openly gay politician, Harvey Milk, in a new film. Apparently after kissing James Franco, Sean texted Madonna: "I just broke my cherry kissing a guy. I thought of you. I don’t know why." Madonna wrote back: "Congratulations." [LA Times]
• Speaking of Madonna, the trailer for her film looks not half bad. [Jossip]
• Two high school girls were suspended for dancing to Katy Perry's song at a football game. It was Texas, where "I Kissed A Girl" is threatening, apparently. [Perez Hilton]
• Do not make the mistake of listening to Paris Hilton's techno-tinged new song about finding a new best friend. Just don't. Some of us haven't fully recovered. [People]
• Beyoncé's new CD probably will not be done in time for her Nov. 18 release date. [Rush & Molloy]
• Mark Wahlberg's son was born on Sept. 16 but Mark and his fiancée Rhea Durham just settled on a name: Brendan Joseph. [E!]
• Yes! YES! Jack White and Alicia Keys in the video for the new Bond song, "Another Way To Die." [People]
• Katie Price, the "glamour model" known as Jordan, and her husband Peter Andre, might be breaking up. [Perez Hilton]
• Oh wait, here they are leaving a club all kissy kissy. [The Sun]
• Kendra from Girls Next Door and Joe Francis: Seen making out in Miami. [Page Six]
• Simon Pegg is learning how to lose friends and alienate people. He said of Ricky Gervais: "He said there'd been no good British films since 1950. What an idiot. If you go to LA, you can get sucked into that." [Telegraph]
• Some film exec on Forest Whitaker: "Ugly, black, and unbankable." [StereoHyped]
• There's no street named after Lou Reed in New York, and he thinks that's bullshit. He says: "Lou Reed Way would be nice. Any little street would do." [Gothamist]
• Fast food joint Sonic wants to target young women, so they're creating a bunch of episodic-type ads to run during The Hills. [Brandweek]
• Britain's Daily Star published a picture of Sienna Miller cornered by more than a dozen cameramen while waiting for an elevator, red-faced and near tears. She sued; stating she was clearly in distress and being harassed; the tabloid paid her $27,000 in damages and issued an apology. [E!]
• Kenny Chesney is making like Diddy and getting into the booze biz. He's developing a "premium rum" with Constellation Spirits. [UPI]
• Russell Crowe knows how to fix the economy: "I have been intently watching the political process," he says. "If they want to stimulate the economy and get people spending so they can look after their mortgage ... give everyone $1 million.'' Except that would be 300 trillion dollars, way more than the $700 billion bailout package. [News.com.au]
• Kim Kardashian is not married, she just calls her boyfriend "hubby." Or "Papa Bear." [E!]
• Kim was booted from Dancing With The Stars last night, on the 5th anniversary of her father's death. Robert Kardashian was best known for being OJ Simpson's lawyer. [Yahoo News]
• Three people who work on Madonna's tour speak about the costumes, the concept and Her Madgesty. The costume designer says: "Madonna has eight costume changes. And everyone gets doubles of everything, including the shoes, to last the duration of the tour. Madonna sometimes has up to six copies of one particular outfit so that it always looks fresh and great. […] We develop a lot of her clothes ourselves. So we go to the end of the earth if we have to to find the right fabric. Or if we have shoes made, we collaborate with wonderful people at Miu Miu and Prada. Madonna gets to play different characters, whether it's a sexy robot or a gypsy." [NY Daily News]
• The weird thing about Stephen Colbert being in the comic of Spider-Man is that you end up staring at his illustrated crotch. [Perez Hilton]
• Janet Jackson is out of the hospital. It was probably exhaustion, says boyfriend Jermaine Dupri. "A 42-year-old body can't handle what a 22-year-old body can," he says. "I can tell you that she's definitely tired." [People]
• Oh, but while Janet was in the hospital, Jermaine was out partying. [E!]
• Billy Joel is helping to pay for the funeral of a fisherman whose body was found not far from his house in Long Island. Joel says: "I’ve always supported our local commercial fishermen. These are the people, both men and women, who have to go out in all types of conditions to bring us our fish." [NY Times]
• A letter written by a young Princess Diana in which she admitted trying to marry off her elder sister to her future husband Prince Charles has been sold at auction for £12,000. [Yahoo News]
• Bollywood is on strike! Movie shoots are canceled! [Yahoo News]
• "She told me that you can't have both a love life and a career in pictures at the same time, and it has proven to be true - she was right." — Patricia Arquette's memory of working with Bette Davis. [Page Six]
• "Paul Newman told me his hotel in Chicago was a room at the YMCA, which was not hard to imagine. He considered himself just another member of the acting company, who would call his wife during breaks and confess to feeling self-conscious on the first day of shooting. But he was Paul Newman, and could not mask the fact he was simply – yet elegantly – an extraordinary artist and man. How lucky we all have been." — Tom Hanks. [People]
• "Bad boys just keep following me around." — Pamela Anderson. [The Sun]

• After nine days in a burn center, Travis Barker has been released from the hospital and is heading back to L.A. By bus. A friend says: "He will never fly again – ever." [People]
• Shanna Moakler is sticking by her ex-husband, because they still love each other. Also: "He's not in good shape," a source says. "It's very serious." He's headed to a hospital in the L.A. area. [People]
• Here's a picture of DJ AM, who left his home yesterday to attend a memorial service for Travis Barker's assistant. AM has clearly visible burns, but seems to be able to walk. [TMZ, People]
• Actress Joely Fisher and husband Chris Duddy have adopted a baby girl from South Central Los Angeles. The infant is an African-American girl they've named Olivia. A family friend says: "Joely and Chris were inspired by Angelina and Madonna's decisions to adopt a baby from Africa. But after looking into the adoption process, they realized there were so many children in the L.A. area who needed homes." Word. [Star]
• What's this? Brad and Angelina looking to adopt a kid from a Latin American country? Two months after having twins? Ay dios mio. [Daily Mail]

• Christina Applegate talked to Oprah about her double mastectomy. She says she didn't cry at first. "And then when I met with my doctor and I told him that was my decision and he brought the surgeon in and it was like the flood gates just opened up and I – I lost it." [People]
• Janet Jackson canceled her concert in Montreal on Monday after she "got suddenly ill." She was rushed to the hospital. Think it was a hangover from Jermaine Dupri's birthday party? As you'll recall, he vomited on her lap. [Yahoo News]
• Robert Redford on his late friend and co-star, Paul Newman: "This was a man who lived a life that really meant something and will for some time to come." ABC News]
• Here's a collection of quips by Paul Newman. [Chicago Sun-Times]
• Miley Cyrus decided to take over Disneyland for her 16th birthday bash, but the date she wants happens to be the Gay Day celebration at the theme park. So: Miley in, gays out. [Perez Hilton]
• Britney may have won an MTV award for her "Piece Of Me" video, but she doesn't even think it's that great. "It's a cool video, but I think by far I've done videos that are way better," she says. "So I was really shocked that ... it got the award." As were we, dear. As were we. [AP]
• Despite what you might have heard, there is no Britney sex tape. Says a source close to Britney. [E!]
• Britney's in New York, btw. [The.Life Files]
• Plug your ears: Jessica Simpson is going to sing on Dancing With The Stars. [UPI]
• Naomi Watts turned 40 on Sunday, and she got a big present from her man, Liev Schreiber: A Mercedes-Benz Bluetec, the new, environmentally friendly luxury SUV. [E!]
• Two people involved in an accident that injured Shia LaBeouf were charged Monday with giving police false information about the wreck. There was a young couple in the other car; apparently the woman said she was driving, but the man was behind the wheel. [Yahoo News]
• Lauren Conrad: Seen making out with My Boys actor Kyle Howard. [E!]
• LC and Audrina are not "Top Friends" on MySpace. But trying to make news out of someone's MySpace mood is dumb. [Perez Hilton]
• All My Sons was the highest-grossing (non-musical) play on Broadway last week. Is Katie Holmes to thank? [AP]
• Ashlee Simpson sleeps with so many teddy bears there's hardly room for Pete Wentz in the bed. [Perez Hilton]
• Eva Longoria continues to wear flowy tops and drink water instead of cocktails; gossipers continue to speculate that she is pregnant. [E!]
• Three words: Katy Perry doll. [NY Mag]
• Madonna's concert at Wembley stadium ran over the time allotted, so she has to pay a £135,000 fine. Pocket change for Her Madgesty! [Guardian]
• David Beckham will be a character in a series of books that will bring children to reading through, um, soccer. [The Sun, Telegraph]
• The "poor" chick on Gossip Girl hangs with high society in real life. [Page Six]
• Renee Zellweger and Harry Connick Jr bring an uplifting movie about a breast-cancer drug to Lifetime. [Village Voice]
• Does Sophia Bush read Jezebel? In Health magazine she says: "It's weird: In our business, I'm a size 2 and considered curvy. It's important to remind young women, 'Listen, even skinny girls have cellulite, even Halle Berry has cellulite, and what you see in photos isn't totally real.'" [People]
• Keira Knightley does not drink, do drugs or smoke (really?) but she does curse up a storm. "I've a foul mouth like my mum," she says. [Mirror]
• Shocker: Black people like singer Robin Thicke even though he is white. [Newser]
• Traci Bingham is bringing a new show to Fox. "It's like America's Next Top Model," she says, "only they'll act, and perform and be athletic, as well." The difference is that Traci won't make fun of the contestants like Tyra does: "Don't you hate that?" [E!]
• Elisabeth Hasselbeck is "really upset" about the election conversations on The View, and Barbara Walters has had to call a powwow with Hasselbeck, Whoopi Goldberg and Joy Behar. Can Babs make the ladies work it out? [Perez Hilton]
• Flea of the Red Hot Chili Peppers just enrolled as a freshman a the University of Southern California. He'll be studying music, of course. He should have gone to a Catholic school, since Catholic schoolgirls rule. [Perez Hilton]
• Demi Moore is suing a magazine that printed pictures of her and other celebrities at an Oscars party she hosted. [News.com.au]
• Country singer Mindy McCready will surrender to Tennessee authorities on today to start a 60-day jail sentence for violating probation on a previous drug-related charge. [Yahoo News]
• Kevin Costner will release his first album with his country-rock band, not that you give a shit. [People]
• More bad news for Ed McMahon: He's being sued by Merv Griffin's company. [USA Today]
• Ellen Burstyn has joined the cast of Showtime's Possible Side Effects, a drama set inside the world of the pharmaceutical industry. Tim Robbins is writing and directing. Diagnosis: Good! [Variety]
• Sadie Frost has swapped fashion for filmmaking. Her short film is about an evil nanny who terrorizes a single mother and daughter. [Mirror]
• "I've just written my first screenplay. It is pretty incredible to finish it — the first draft. I got somebody to teach me — there’s a programme called Final Draft. I had someone come round my house and teach me how to use it." — Geri Halliwell. [The Sun]
• "Listen, I’m a reasonable human being. If people pay me enough, I’ll stop playing my music." — James Blunt. [The Sun]
• "I convinced myself I was pregnant when I was 13 and I hadn’t even got my period. There are so many rumours and also so much wrong information being passed around, so it is a really important message the World Contraception Day is trying to give out. I am not the kind of person who talks about my sex life, but I am not afraid to talk about contraception. I go three, maybe four times a year to get tested for sexually transmitted infections and most of the time I don’t even need to. I just go for peace of mind." — Kelly Osbourne. [The Sun]
• "I’ve written some really, really deeply sexual things on some of the cards I’ve given him for opening night. But just to wind him up, you know. He’s great. He’s a truly remarkable man. You know, if I was gay or a female I’d, well, just want to marry him." — Daniel Radcliffe on his Equus co-star, Lorenzo Pisoni. [Daily Star]

Nowadays we know Newman as a benevolent good guy who gave to charity, made some seriously addictive dressings, and actually put his money where his mouth was in a way few screen icons manage to. Sure, we have a Netflix queue's worth of smoldering, keen-eyed performances, but we've always taken him for granted as a serious person. Bachrach makes the point that he worked hard for the privilege: he was sold as a beefcake. But unlike Brad Pitt, determinedly playing against type in film after film, or Johnny Depp, trying to convince the world he's a character actor, Newman worked with it, playing smart guys who, well, used their looks to their advantage. He could do comedy, he could do drama, but he was never infantile enough to try to pretend to be what he wasn't.

And most important, he was a total class act. In addition to Newman's Own, his work with children and for the environment, Newman always seemed like an awesome guy, and his marriage to Joanne Woodward seemed like a model of stability, especially by Hollywood's standards. Newman managed to be iconic without ever getting creepy or remote, using his influence for what good he could, but maintaining normalcy. And, yes, he was one of the most prominent Half-Jews on the scene (yes, some of us make mental notes of this stuff, okay?) It's so easy to say they don't make 'em like they used to, but jeez louise, this is one death that drives that home. We really can't afford to lose any more really amazing people right now, okay? The national psyche can't take it. Newman's Own [Obit]

• While everyone was busy focusing on the presidential debates, Scarlett Johansson and Ryan Reynolds got married. The ceremony took place Saturday night at a "remote wilderness resort" outside of Vancouver, Canada. The bride is 23, the groom is 31 and they have been dating since 2007. [Us Magazine, People]
• Heather Locklear was busted on suspicion of driving under the influence Saturday night in Santa Barbara, CA. Apparently a witness saw her driving erratically while leaving a parking lot. This report says: The witness said Locklear was revving her engine loudly, and backed over a pair of sunglasses several times." Cops found Heather by the side of the highway "disoriented and impaired." Prescription drugs appear to be the blame; Heather just left a treatment facility for anxiety and depression 2 months ago. She looks rather stunned in her mug shot. [People, TMZ, ET]
• Heath Ledger left behind at least $145,000 in assets and cash — but maybe as much as $20 million in the estate — and Heath's father has announced that every penny will go to Matilda. [News.com.au]
• The company that wrote Heath Ledger's $10 million life insurance policy is being sued after claiming the actor's death might have been a suicide, even though officials concluded it was accidental. If it was suicide, the company won't have to pay. [TMZ]
• Jermaine Dupri partied so hard on his 36th birthday that he vomited in Janet Jackson's lap. [Page Six]

• Paul Newman made plans to continue to be charitable after his death. One hundred percent of the profits from his food company, Newman's Own, continue to benefit camps for children with life-threatening illnesses and thousands of other charities. [Yahoo News]
• Barbra Streisand on Sarah Palin: "When you run for the second highest office in the land, you better be ready to answer questions from the press and the American people. […] This reminds me of the movie business...when the studio knows it has a dud on its hands, they ban reviewers from seeing it beforehand." [Campaign Silo]
• Amy Winehouse's friends have her on 24-hour surveillance because she is "in a very fragile state at the moment." [The Sun]
• Amy smacked someone in the face for no reason last Thursday, not that anyone is surprised. [TMZ]
• Did Amy's bodyguard hit a paparazzo with his car? [Daily Express]
• "Look where I am now. Look what happened to my dreams. This isn’t a life – I’m a mess, look at me. What life do I have? My life begins when Blake gets out of prison. He is my life, I want to see him." — Amy Winehouse. [Mirror]
• Could former drug addict Russell Brand mentor Amy? [Daily Mail]
• Victoria "Posh Spice" Beckham on her kids: "They are getting American accents. I think it’s really cute." [The Sun]
• Please to be looking at these "kinky boots" Posh wore: wet-look pleather with no heel. [The Sun]
• The Galaxy is called Major League Soccer's richest club, thanks to David Beckham. [Daily Express]
• Cammy Diaz's boyfriend Paul Sculfor stopped doing coke when his hair started falling out. He says: "I'm lucky it grew back. I'm not vain but I'm obsessed with my hair." [Mirror]
• Mel "Scary Spice" B will get somewhere in the six figures for "artistic yet revealing photos" for Playboy. Chances that the magazine cover line will be "Zigazig-ah!": High. [Mirror]
• You know Amy Adams of Junebug and Enchanted? Her mom works at Starbucks. "I was like, 'Mom, you cannot tell everybody who comes in to get a latte that your daughter is an Oscar nominee." [Page Six]
• A while back, Kate Moss drew a self-portrait in lipstick; Pete Doherty wrote, "Who needs blood when you've got lipstick?" on the canvas; Saturday it was purchased for £33,600 at auction by a "mystery buyer." [BBC News]
• Jack Osbourne and his mom Sharon witnessed a dude steal a woman's purse; Jack chased the guy and tackled him, restraining him until cops arrived. "I could see the girl was in trouble; it just felt like the natural thing to do. I'm glad it turned out OK," Jack says. Get the man a cape! [UPI]
• Chris Brown and Rihanna hit Kentucky Fried Chicken and Ri's shoes are pretty intense for a fast food outing. [The.Life Files]
• Don't use your BlackBerry at the table when Countess Luann de Lesseps is in the area; she will school you. And if you're Asian, she'll tell you that European men "adore Asian females because of their submissiveness. So work that to your advantage." [Page Six]
• Kylie Minogue is set to perform at the opening of the Atlantis Hotel in Dubai in November, but the terror threat level is high for the event. [News.com.au]
• A Kylie musical??? [The Sun]
• Dennis Quaid is pissed that Meg Ryan's been blabbing about their their past. "It was eight years ago, and I find it unbelievable that Meg continues publicly to rehash and rewrite the story of our relationship," he says. [Rush & Molloy]
• Have you seen that Kid Rock/Dale Earnhardt Jr. commercial for the National Guard? You will want to harm yourself or others. [Jossip]
• A remake of My Fair Lady will star Keira Knightley and either George Clooney or Brad Pitt. The two friends are battling for the role of Henry Higgins, each offering to take a pay cut. Who do you think should play the professor? [Daily Express]
• Ricky Gervais is not necessarily going to host the Oscars. The producers haven't made any decisions yet. [Daily Express]
• Kristin Scott Thomas makes films in English and in French. "So far there hasn’t been much crossover between the French-language career and the English one, but maybe it will happen this time," she says. Her film I've Loved You So Long opens October 24. [NY Times]
• Sure, she battled heart disease before going to Dancing With The Stars, but Toni Braxton is a surivor, not a victim. Get it right. [TMZ]
• Kathy Griffin is suing the cybersquatters who own KathyGriffin.com. Only Kathy makes fun of Kathy! [Perez Hilton]
• Grammy-winning R&B singer Kenneth "Babyface" Edmonds and his girlfriend Nicole Pantenburg have welcomed their first child together. [People]
• Tina Turner's concert tour starts October 1 in Kansas City, MO. "I've been away from America — home — for at least a good 12 years. I have some memories of certain towns and when we started to think about where to start… Kansas City and St. Louis were areas I played a lot, a lot, when I was here." She also says: "I think the costumes are fantastic." [UPI]
• A Sean John employee got his hands on Pharrell Williams' e-mail address somehow and contacted him repeatedly; the "situation" was "handled internally." [Page Six]
• Jeremy Piven: Seen swigging booze out of a tiny bottle during the Emmys. [Page Six]
• Blind items: "Which fame-hungry 'social' spends so much time stuffing cocaine up her nose, her hangers-on have taken to calling her 'Coco Puff?' Which designer daughter and her husband are stirring the pot on both coasts? She had tongues wagging in LA over her scary skinny bod, while her other half was recently kicked out of a Hamptons hot spot for slugging another guy." [Page Six]
• Little Britain: The Movie? [Mirror]
• Rolling Stone Ronnie Wood faces £50million divorce pay-out after he is pictured on intimate date with Russian lover, 20. [Daily Mail]
• Clark Gable almost walked off the set of Gone With The Wind because of rampant racism. [Page Six]
• Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band will perform at this year's Super Bowl halftime show in Tampa, FL. [CNN]
• "Contrary to a spate of recent reports, Robert Plant will not be touring or recording with Led Zeppelin. Anyone buying tickets online to any such event will be buying bogus tickets." — A statement from Robert Plant. [BBC News]
• "You sit there and say, Who am I selling this movie to? Who’s the audience? And the answer is, No one." — A Hollywood insider on Tom Cruise's new flick, Valkyrie. [Fox 411]
• "There was something about him. There was definitely this sensation that we already knew each other, we just had to get better acquainted. It was very intense very early on and we were very much attracted to each other." — Bob Dylan's former long-term girlfriend, Suze Rotolo, who is on the cover of his breakthrough album Freewheelin’ Bob Dylan. [Daily Express]
• "Everybody’s like, 'Oh, we’ve been waiting for this album forever.' But no one has waited longer than me. I’ve been waiting since I was 7 years old." — Jennifer Hudson, whose self-titled debut drops tomorrow. [NY Times]
• "My heart just feels a little bit different, softer and somehow more in love. I don't know how. But it just feels really romantic and lovely." — Ellen DeGeneres on married life. [People]
• "It’s fun, it’s not meant to be taken so seriously, it’s cheeky, and let’s face it, we’re living in a world right now where the economy has gone into hell in a hand basket, our environment is in a lot of trouble, and the world is just not a great place, we’re still at war. If I can throw some humor out of speaking in third person, it’s really not that serious, and I think we have a lot bigger issues in this world to worry about than what tense I’m speaking in." — Project Runway's Suede. [NY Mag]

• Tara Reid looks like she has no longer been ridden hard and put away wet! The former winner of Miss Hot Mess 2002-2007 is dating fashion executive Julien Jarmoune and apparently fending off marriage rumors. A pal of the couple says, "It looks like she's finally gotten her act together!" [E! Online, AHN]
• Someone who has decidedly not gotten her act together: Amy Winehouse. She was spotted stumbling out of a Camden pub at 3:30 this morning, looking a fright. [Daily Mail]
• The Olsen twins are causing dramz in the West Village: their partying habits are bugging the neighbors near the W. 13th Street apartment they're renting for $12,000 a month."Plenty of other celebrities around this block [Sarah Jessica Parker, Liv Tyler, Gisele Bundchen and Julianne Moore] are good neighbors and blend in with the neighborhood - but these two are invaders," a source says. [Page Six]
• One half of the gruesome twosome, Mary Kate, was spotted at fashion week with a new boyf, artist Nate Lowman. [Perez]

• Even too-cool-for-school New Yorkers are gaga over Michael Phelps, who is currently in town to host the season premiere of SNL this weekend. At Blue Ribbon Sushi on Monday, "It was funny to see jaded New Yorkers, who always see celebs around town, act like excited schoolkids," says a witness. "People kept sending over bottles of champagne and sake! Never seen anything like it." [Page Six]
• Daily Show funnyman Rob Corrdry and his wife Sandra are expecting a second daughter! Rob says, "We have a short list of names that we are considering. My 2-year-old (daughter Sloane) is pretty set on the name 'Freeka.' She also likes 'Laurie Berkner,' but that sounds weird in front of Corddry. We may just go with 'Baby the Entertainer' in case she grows up to be a black comedian." [People]
• He said, she said, on their nude scene in the upcoming film The Duchess. Dominic Cooper: "I knew there was a scene in which I had to get naked. It wasn't gratuitous, but still quite overwhelming. There were a series of devices I was offered to wear which protect my [naughty] bits. And I gave Keira the choice in a very gentlemanly way, 'You can chose either the furry soft, the pink diaper or the Spandex." Keira Knightley: "I don't remember choosing. I think he's making that up. Unless I was feeling particularly malicious, I don't think I would have chosen to put a man in a skin-colored diaper. I could have been feeling particularly malicious, however, that's entirely possible." [ People]
• Oooh!! Britney might have a new album ready for Christmas! The plan right now is to release the single in November and then have the LP out in December along with some live shows. Don't pressure the girl, she's just getting her sea legs back! [The Sun]
• Matthew McConaughey: "When I'm lucky enough to be in a place where I don't have to wear a shirt and shoes, I don't." No, really? [People]
• Lynda Carter, aka Wonder Woman, had this to say about Sarah Palin being referred to as "the new Wonder Woman." "Don’t get me started. She’s the anti-Wonder Woman. She’s judgmental and dictatorial, telling people how they’ve got to live their lives. And a superior religious self-righteousness … that’s just not what Wonder Woman is about. Hillary Clinton is a lot more like Wonder Woman than Mrs. Palin. She did it all, didn’t she?" [Philly Mag]
• Um, so apparently, Viggo Mortensen is always being detained by airport security because the favorite tea that he carries with him looks like pot. "And it doesn't help that Mortensen, who grew up in Argentina, drinks his tea with a pipe." That isn't a joke. [Showbiz Spy]
• Ugh, Hugh Grant is such an old skeeze! He was spotted in London hitting on women at a club for 18-22 year-olds. [Perez]
• Oprah is atop the list of Most Generous Stars. Also in the top ten: trumpeter and A&M records co-founder Herb Alpert, Barbra Streisand, Paul Newman, Brangelina, Michael Jordan, Canadian ex-hockey player Eric Lindros, Lance Armstrong, and though it pains us to tell you, Rush Limbaugh, who gave $4.2 million to children of marines and law-enforcement officers killed in the line of duty. [Reuters]
• Queen Latifah on her status as Jenny Craig spokesperson: "If anything, I was worried about alienating my big girls. I didn't want them to think, Hey, she's leaving us. But if I can be an example of loving yourself regardless of what you look like, I can be an example of loving yourself and being healthier." [Reader's Digest]
• Rob Lowe's recent sexual harassment issues with his nanny have been hurting his wallet in more ways than one. “Since the headline that a second nanny sued me for sexual harassment, I have been passed over for at least three commercials, any of which could have ultimately resulted in income of over $1 million," he said. [MSNBC]

• Jewel is hitched! She eloped to the Bahamas and married her man, rodeo champ Ty Murray. The bride wore a wedding gown, the groom wore blue jeans and a cowboy hat. They've been together for more than ten years. Congrats. [People]
• Morgan Freeman was released from a Memphis hospital yesterday following that serious car accident on Sunday night. He says: "I'm doing very well. I feel real good." He suffered a broken arm and elbow and "minor shoulder damage" but is expected to fully recover. Hopefully he'll go back to playing that awesome guy he always plays. [Reuters]
• Paul Newman may only have weeks to live. He's told his family that he wants to die at home. He's apparently finished chemotherapy and is frail and thin. Sadness. [Daily Mail]
• Ellen wants Oprah at her wedding! [Mirror]
• Madonna and Guy Ritchie are part owners of a London pub called The Punchbowl, and it's being investigated because the staff allegedly sell pints cheaper to locals than to tourists. Not surprising. [The Sun]

• Madonna's brother has stories the publishers wouldn't let him print in his book, so he's spilling them on his blog. There's stuff about her childhood hijinks, like walking in on her dad and stepmother while they were having sex. [Janet Charlton's Hollywood]
• Oh, Madonna's documentary about the plight of orphans in Malawi, I Am Because We Are, will have a companion book of photographs by award-winning photojournalist Kristen Ashburn. Proceeds go to the Raising Malawi organization. [Perez Hilton]
• Though you may have heard that Helena Bonham Carter's daughter was named Indiana Rose, that name was never confirmed by Helena and partner Tim Burton. Apparently, Tim and Helena had a tough time agreeing on a name, but now they have revealed that the 7 month old is named Nell. [People]
• Sienna Miller and Balthazar Getty were seen shopping in Malibu yesterday. Seriously. That's the news. [Yahoo News]
• She bought "slinky tops." [The Sun]
• Javier Bardem thinks his own sex scenes are hilarious: He was seen laughing at intimate moments during a screening of Vicky Cristina Barcelona. Is his giddy joy enough to make you want to see this flick? [Page Six]
• Mariah Carey rented a gigantic mansion in the Hamptons this month, and she'll throw a party celebrating her marriage to Nick Cannon. It's only been four months since their quickie wedding, you can totally still get them a gift! [Page Six]
• Brad Pitt will indeed star in Quentin Tarantino's remake of Inglorious Bastards. The gist: Five court-martialed GIs in WWII escape toward Switzerland. [Page Six]
• Gossip Girl scandal! Someone has been RSVPing Blake Lively and Penn Badgely for events without their knowledge or consent. Blair Waldorf, looking at you. [Rush & Molloy]
• A custody hearing has been requested by Alec Baldwin regarding Kim Basinger and daughter Ireland. All has been quiet since that "little pig" voicemail in April 2007. Is the drama starting up again? [E!]
• Last week we heard that Jon Voight sent daughter Angelina Jolie presents for her newborn twins; today he says: "I haven’t had any contact. I heard they’re healthy, and I’m so delighted for them. I love all these kids. I haven’t seen them yet." [E!]
• Bernie Mac is responding well to treatment for pneumonia and should be out cracking jokes in a few weeks. [AP]
• Are Benicio Del Toro and Catherine Keener hooking up? Love them both! [ONTD]
• The buzz on Nikki Blonsky is that her mom is "obnoxious and difficult," making it hard to work with Nikki. [Perez Hilton]
• Lisa Kudrow is being sued by her former manager, who claims she stopped paying him his guaranteed cut of her earnings after she fired him. We're talking about $50,000 or so. [Yahoo News]
• Prison Break's Lane Garrison is supposed to be in a substance-abuse program, but it was cut by Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger. Whoops! [Yahoo News]
• A Paris Hilton/Stan Lee superhero cartoon? Not hot. [Perez Hilton]
• In a UK poll asking which famous lady you'd love to call, Brit dudes chose Kylie Minogue as number one. Keira Knightley came in second, Angelina Jolie was third and Scarlett Johansson fifth. [The Sun]
• A rare sighting of Bono without his trademark sunglasses! [The.Life Files]
• "I got cut out of the movie." — Dennis Hopper on Swing Vote. [Rush & Molloy]
• A blonde goes up to Brody Jenner in New York and starts talking to him. Brody looks to friend Frankie Delgado, who explains, "You slept with her in Cabo." That's what friends are for. [Page Six]

• Jessica Alba popped! It's a girl. New daddy Cash Warren says, "She's beautiful." [Us]
• Brokeback Mountain: The opera. Coming soon! Or actually, spring 2013. But that's only 5 years away! [Reuters]
• There are rumors flying around that Miley Cyrus has a 22-year-old boyfriend, but take 'em with a grain of salt. [A Socialite's Life]
• Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson were seen at a tattoo studio in Hollywood over the weekend. Don't you kind of wish they would each get half a heart that is only complete when they are together? Or is that just me? [ET]
• Does Paul Newman have lung cancer??? [Daily Express]
• L.A. baby boutique Petit Trésor is always drumming up publicity for itself and claiming to outfit celebrity nurseries; today the store says the Jolie-Pitts have purchased organza bassinets ($800), Versailles-style cribs ($3,200) with matching changing tables ($2,800), armoires ($4,500) and silk gliders. They even installed two pink crystal chandeliers for the girls at a cost of $899 each. This is the same store Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes sent a cease and desist letter to, saying "Petit Trésor is trying to get publicity for themselves by telling the press that celebrities are shopping in their store when they're not." So keep that in mind. [Rush & Molloy]

• Chris Rock was pranked by being fake-arrested in South Africa for a reality show… Was Ashton Kutcher involved? [ET]
• Pharrell! In space! He totally bought a ticket for Richard Branson's Virgin Galactic! [Mirror]
• Katie Price, aka Brit "glamour model" Jordan, says she is selling her breast implants on eBay for £1 million, but I couldn't find them. [Mirror]
• Speaking of implants, cough cough, Christina Aguilera will breastfeed until her kid turns two because she loves her E-cup boobs. [PopCrunch]
• John Mayer has been driving Jennifer Aniston's cars. It's true love! [UPI]
• Heidi Montag plans to win an Oscar. Hahahahahaha. Wow. [JustJared]
• Sienna Miller's ex, Rhys Ifans, has been texting Sienna, begging her to change her mind about dumping him. [The Sun]
• As previously reported, Paris Hilton is not pregnant. We know for sure because she was seen drinking. [UPI]
• Matthew McConaughey does not have any plans to marry his baby mama Camila Alves. We'll see. [UPI]
• Patrick Swayze's TV project has been greenlighted by A&E and will start filming this summer. He continues to respond well to his treatment for pancreatic cancer, yay. [People]
• Snoop Dogg to Beyoncé and Jay-Z: "Go home and make babies. They should, that's the next step as far as marriage, having kids ... add on to the family, so hopefully that's what they'll do." [People]
• Anne Heche reached a divorce settlement: She must pay ex-husband Coley Laffoon a $275,000 lump sum and $3,700 per month in child support for their 6-year-old son. That's a lot of money, but less than the $15,000 a month support Anne was supposed to pay. [People]
• Soon-to-be-new-dad-of-Nicole-Kidman's-baby Keith Urban doesn't know what a onesie is. [People]
• Lynda "Wonder Woman" Carter found a body floating in the Potomac River in Washington, D.C. last week and told fisherman to call the cops. [E!]
• Rihanna's boobs are real, FYI. [Daily Star]
• Leonardo DiCaprio will star in Atari, about the "father" of the videogame system. [ET]
• Mel Gibson's anti-Semitic rant two years ago has not made him a pariah in Hollywood, so there's that. [Page Six]
• The dude that used to do public relations for Plato's Retreat sex club says new series Swingtown is very similar to a sitcom he pitched. Are any of you guys watching that show? [Page Six]
• Mischa Barton's new boyfriend, Rooney guitarist Taylor Locke, apparently "mopes," aww. [Page Six]
• Kate Moss pitched a fit at an Agent Provocateur party when she was not allowed to enter the bathroom with three friends. "But I'm hosting the event," she argued. Rules are rules, so Kate and her gang left. [Page Six]
• Blind item #1! "Which star of a new TV hit has Hollywood scrambling to the pharmacy? He's spreading herpes around town like wildfire." Blind item #2! "Which gorgeous socialite has a secret side to her sex life? While she's often on the arm of a guy at social functions, we hear she prefers to go home with a lady." Blind item #3! "Which hit TV show's cast members are as bad in real life as the characters in the plotline? At a recent party, two of the hot actors held up the bathroom line while cutting their own lines in the stalls." [Page Six]
• Jay Leno is trying to figure out how he can help Tonight Show veteran Ed McMahon, who faces foreclosure on his house. Here's an idea: Cash. [Rush & Molloy]
• Padma Lakshmi recently had gynecological surgery for endometriosis, but she is recovering well — she went to a benefit for indigenous people on Thursday. [Rush & Molloy]
• Warren G — known for working with Nate Dogg, Snoop Dogg and step-brother Dr. Dre — was pulled over in Hollywood and found to be in possession of marijuana, shocker. [TMZ]
• Larry Birkhead has purchased a new 10,000-square-foot, six-bedroom house in Louisville, KY. Perhaps we can stop hearing from him or thinking about him very soon. [UPI]
• Lauren Conrad and Audrina Patridge swear things will work out between them eventually. But for now there's tension. And if they make up it will be in front of cameras, of course! [People]
• "[British soldiers] are always whining about the dangers of being killed. Oh my God, they are such whimps now! The whole point of being the Army is wanting to get killed, wanting to test yourself to the limits. Now you have to fly 15,000 ft. above the war zone to avoid getting hit. I don't think there is any point in having wars if that's how you're going to behave. It's pathetic. All this whining!" — Rupert Everett. [TMZ]

• Halle Berry's baby has 3 nurseries in different homes, all done in all whites, neutrals and organics. Cost? $60K. [Rush & Molloy]
  
• And ooh, Halle Berry's baby will learn to speak French! Because her daddy is from Quebec! Très mignon! [People]
  
• A Snoop Dogg quote, presented without comment: "How many ugly women selling records? None! Only the pretty ones sell records — Beyoncé, Mary J. The ugly ones just be singing their little hearts out but don't get no sales. You beautiful on the inside, baby." [Mirror]
  
• Amy Winehouse will get $1 million to sing at a party thrown by George Clooney and Julia Roberts and hosted by Giorgio Armani. That kind of cash buys a lot of eyeliner. [Mirror]

• George Clooney is not, as previously reported, Nicole Kidman's baby's godfather. He is still hot, however. [MSNBC]
• George Clooney is also not returning to ER. [People]
• "Spies" at the Food Network say Nigella Lawson has gained weight. "The result is a butt like a Budweiser horse," a source says. "Her director is now doing back flips to not show her below the waist." Here's an idea: Shut the fuck up. No one talks about Mario Batali's ass. [Page Six]
• Britney's father got permission from a judge to sell some of Brit's cars. Maybe she'll trade her convertible for a kid-friendly mini van? [TMZ]
• Britney on How I Met Your Mother: "Can we have sex and then go shopping?" [People]
• Miley Cyrus is legally changing her name from Destiny Hope Cyrus to her famous nickname. (Dad used to call her smiley when she was a kid; somehow it morphed into Miley.) [TMZ]
• Christian Bale speaks about his Dark Knight costar, Heath Ledger, who played the Joker. "Heath was a joy," Christian tells EW.com. "What was so great to see with Heath is just how seriously he took [his work]. And we don't mean in any way to sound sort of pretentious with that, but just in the fact that if we don't take it seriously, then how can any audience ever take it seriously? And he did one hell of a job." [ET]
• Is Madonna moving to New York without hubby Guy Ritchie? Her rep says no. If not, why do these rumors persist? [Page Six]
• Oh wait, everything's fine: Madonna and Guy have game nights in which they play Scrabble. Triple word score! [Mirror]
• Some 35-year-old music manager Lindsay Lohan's been hanging out with was arrested over the weekend as a suspect in sexual assaults involving two 16-year-old girls. Shall we judge her by the company she keeps? [Page Six]
• Lindsay's grandfather is losing his battle with colon cancer. [E!]
• Diddy is denying a report that his associates were responsible for the shooting death of Tupac Shakur. "The story is a lie," Sean Combs says. "It is beyond ridiculous and completely false." [Yahoo News]
• Orlando Bloom has dropped out of a Nick Hornby movie due to scheduling conflicts. [Reuters]
• Did "oil heir" Brandon Davis make a scene at Lauren Conrad's fashion show in which he was "screaming and yelling and waving around a bag of white powder"??? [Page Six]
• Will Smith is denying that the Church of Scientology has recruited him and his wife. Says Legend: "I am a Christian. I am a student of all religions. And I respect all people and all paths." [Rush & Molloy]
• Soleil Moon Frye gave birth to a second daughter, Jagger Joseph Blue Goldberg. [People]
• Is Paul Newman okay? He's been seen at a cancer treatment center. But he says he's being treated for "athlete's foot and hair loss." [Mirror]
• Ian Ziering has LOTS of big ideas for the 90210 spinoff: "Rush Sanders gets together with Nat and Willie, the chef from the Peach Pit, and they throw a burger syndicate. Mrs. Teasley, the Beverly Hills High School principal, finally gets the affair she's always wanted with David Silver when his sexless affair with Donna Martin falls apart. Kelly Taylor champions the cause of the embarrassed wife when she punches Brandon across the jaw during a live news conference just as he resigns from public office for having gay footsie sex with high priced hookers smoking a cigar. Dylan never recovers from the loss of his beautiful wife. Having done enough drugs to sedate a small village, his mind snaps forever more only speaking and rhyming couplets that can be incredibly insightful but mostly are just freakish and bizarre... Brenda's back and she's supernova hot. In her Christian Louboutin pumps, she is imbued with attitude that's only attained through social climbing of Europe's social elite. Andrea Zuckerman invented the social networking website called "MyFace". She gets herself ranked in the fortune 200. She buys every child a home of everyone in school who ever made her feel bad, and she turns those homes into half way houses for wayward teens..." [Perez Hilton]
• Click if you care to see Mischa Barton topless. [The Sun]

• Spencer Pratt is getting an advice column in Radar. "Yo Spencer!" will debut in the April issue; the idea is so dumb it's genius. [USA Today]
  
• The Beckhams went shopping at the Pleasure Chest adult store in Hollywood and stocked up on supplies. "They seemed to know exactly what they wanted," a witness says. What do you think was on their list? Vibes? Lube? The purple penetrator? [The Sun]
  
• Watch Britney's new anime video! [People]
  
• "It pains me to report that on the first day of the shoot, Britney knew her lines better than I knew mine," How I Met Your Mother actor Josh Radnor says. "She's been great to work with." [People]
  
• The CW network is developing a contemporary spinoff of Beverly Hills, 90210. Maybe think of it as a mashup of The OC and Gossip Girl. [The Hollywood Reporter]

• Nicky Hilton says: "There's no truth to any starvation, eating disorders rumors. I think the press has been printing a lot of pictures of me from unflattering angles. My friends see the pictures and they're like, 'Oh my god are you OK?' And then they see me, and they're like 'Oh...' It's really not that interesting or true." [MSNBC]
• Amy Winehouse's father says the fact that he had an mistress when Amy was young is partly to blame for her troubled life — he had a "work wife" while he was still married to Amy's mom. Sigh. [The Sun]
• Is Rachael Ray's syndicated show going off the air? The ratings suck. She'd still have her Food Network shows, though. Unfortch. [Page Six]
• Anne Hathaway: Into absinthe. [Page Six]
• Top Chef host Padma Lakshmi and actor Skeet Ulrich? Hot. [Page Six]
• Three blind items! 1. "Which friendly actor recently fell off the wagon? Though he's been in rehab several times, he was spotted stumbling out of a Hollywood hotel at 7 a.m. looking totally 'wasted.'" 2. "Which young soap starlet made networks execs extremely nervous when she was starting out? She was known for fooling around with her much older producers." 3. "Which Hollywood hunk cheats on his gorgeous model girlfriend all the time? They've been together for a while but he's clearly not ready to settle down." [Page Six]
• Is Paul Newman OK? He's having back problems. Be well! [Rush & Molloy]
• Melissa Joan Hart popped! The actress and her hubs welcomed their second child, a son, on Wednesday. Welcome to the world, Braydon Hart Wilkerson. [People]
• The final Harry Potter book will become two movies; the first is due in November 2010 and the second in May of 2011. [ET]
• Paul McCartney is appearing in ads for PETA — the organization that dumped his estranged wife Heather Mills last year. [Mirror]
• Speaking of Sir Paul — the judge should be ruling on his divorce — and deciding how much cash Heather will get — on Monday. [Yahoo News]
• China's Culture Ministry says it will tighten controls over foreign artists after Björk shouted "Tibet! Tibet!" at a recent concert in Shanghai. China forbids artists from performing content that "harms national unity." [Reuters]
• Patrick Swayze's mom on her son's cancer: "He just doesn't deserve it. He's got such a big heart. He's been such a good and generous and thoughtful person. It breaks my heart to know he's suffering." [Perez Hilton]

• Britney Spears classily served her mother Lynne with legal papers in full view of the paparazzi. [TMZ]
  
• Shocker: Lindsay Lohan had cocaine in her system when she crashed her car last month. [People]
  
• Legendary NYC restaurant owner (no spring chicken herself!) mistakes a "fumbling" Paul Newman for a common drunk. [PageSix]
  
• More rumors about the troubled marriage of novelist Salman Rushdie and Top Chef's Padma Lakshmi. [PageSix]
  
• Michael Jackson defends charges that he takes pills, does not defend charges of total and complete insanity. [Rush&Molloy, 2nd item]
  
• In case anyone cares, Jacko's ex-wife, Lisa Marie Presley, may be planning to get pregnant. [Rush&Molloy, 5th item]

• Jordan has had her baby. Next up: Vaginoplasty! [Mirror]
• More British female trainwrecks: Lily Allen arrested for assaulting photographer; dresses up as Amy Winehouse. [DailyMail]
• Dr. Phil defends Paris Hilton. [Popdirt]