There have always been dicks, douchebags and asses. But it's only in our time that the pursuit of assholery has become not just acceptable but a quality — nay, a full-time job to which individuals strive. Will it ever end? »
Meet Jeremy Abelson! We met him thanks to the ever-life-affirming Page Six Magazine. (Thanks to also-affirming P6M contributor Josh Stein!) If "Crap Email From A Dude" generally serves to remind you why you made that pledge never to date another bartender/bike messenger/Sad Aging Literary Man, the role of such Douche Du… »
- We agreed we would lie to our kids about our debauched pasts. There will be fewer than eighteen of them, trust.
- You could do a lot of debaucherous damage with these crazy underoos from the International Male folks.
- We didn't just talk about International Males, we discussed international and race relations, and…
Yesterday, two notable specimens of boy-foe material, Paul Janka and John Fitzgerald Page, appeared on Dr. Phil to let talk about their big egos in front of a female-only audience. The audience reactions were so priceless — lots of disgust and appalled laughter — that today, one of you asked us to give the images the… »
"Casanova Caveman" Paul Janka and "The Worst Person in the World" John Fitzgerald Page both appeared on Dr. Phil today for a show about men with huge egos. I, for one, would be shocked if either of these 'bags get laid anytime soon — if ever again — because they just let millions of women know just what giant tools they… »
Dr. Phil has been running commercials for all-new, jaw-dropping episodes coming up in May, and guess who is among the guests? Paul Janka. In a brief 30-second spot, we learn that, while in the Dr. Phil studio, he hit on the show's staff, and that he continues to embrace his inner Neanderthal. "I invoke the idea of a… »
- Slut Machine took one for the team and Intern Betty filmed her getting a colonic. Crappy hour indeed.
- Speaking of Crap: If Aliza Shvarts smears her uterine lining all over Boot Barn and no one is around to see it, did it really happen?
- We learned why mommy's face no longer moves.
- The kind of mommy who reads Baby…
Yesterday's Tyra was all about "true confessions of the male mind," and Tyra stacked the audience with dudes, including our (least) favorite confirmed bachelor Paul Janka. (You know, the guy who didn't date-rape Moe.) First, Janka talked about how sexual double standards are "earned" because it's difficult to be a player… »
Comrades, there's a new Douche Du Jour in service for your virtual lashings and denunciations: novelist and Nobel laureate V.S. Naipaul! (Just call him "Naipaul Janka"!) Okay, so if you knew who V.S. Naipaul was, you knew he was a jerk. He's an unapologetic racist who fucked whores, beat his mistress, and never gave an… »
"This accounts for some 80% of the gunch at law school," claims a University of Florida law student who goes by the name of Benjamin Straight, before cutting and pasting a charming essay he's composed about a sort of tragic character that, depending upon your point of view, describes either the average "law school girl" or … »
That's right ladies, check him out. You thought Janka was bad? Until recently David Colby was pimpin all over the continental USA, "carrying on" with more than 30 women and proposing to at least twelve of them in the space of two years, promising them houses and boob jobs and whatever it took get them to share in the joy … »
You don't have to say it: Paul knew you'd been missing him. That's why he put himself up for sale at this exclusive speed-dating site. Now you too can, for a small fee, have what special bloggers get free: a date with the Iron Chef of date rape. Don't think eight minutes is long enough to get properly molested? Think… »
- It goes without saying that the biggest news of the week was Jamie Lynn Spears' underage spermination.
- But she's not the only one! Fantasia and Lily Allen are also up the stick.
- Stars are also pregnant with hair. A look back at the year in weaves.
- In other news, ur-douche Paul Janka did not date rape Moe. Imagine…
A tipster tells us Paul Janka used to "date" Flavia Colgan, a leggy lefty MSNBC pundit who is yet another about-to-be-former veteran of the Famous For Philadelphia Society. I have met Flavia a few times and can attest to the fact that she is very pretty and thin and quite possibly even intelligent; she did go to Harvard, … »
Oh good grief, okay. Maybe this is a defense mechanism, but I found the notion that a dude like Paul Janka would spend so much time relentlessly pawing a woman who gave him zero positive vibes while just as relentlessly slapping him off to be really fucking amusing, and I'm not going to lie to you, I laughed a little.… »
Click to viewI went on a "date" with self-professed "Casanova" Paul Janka last night. Or well, I went to his apartment. He sniffed my feet. He showed me his bunk bed. It was more like a "play date" actually, only with a dog in heat. It was kind of fun! But not as fun as telling people about it after I narrowly escaped. »
I'm revising my policy on Paul Janka. When I saw him on the Today show the other day I thought he was merely the latest incarnation of a stock character, a product of current society's insatiable need to have a new unabashed asshole - douche jour — to crucify publicly for all the sins committed by the sundry assholes… »
The Today show had self-proclaimed "Casanova" Paul Janka and therapist Dr. Jennifer Schneider on for a second segment this morning to get to the root of Janka's womanizing problem. And while I don't agree with Dr. Schneider's idea that Janka is emotionally damaging the women he sleeps with by not entering into… »
Today the Today Show crowned America's Next Top Douchebag, and he's a Harvard-educated SAT tutor. He wrote something called How To Get Laid In New York, and apparently his big secret is that he never takes girls out to dinner, because he doesn't like having to converse that much to attain that which he used Microsoft… »