#dirtbagafterdark

Spencer: "I'm Her Husband, Not Her Owner"; Judge Rules Polanski Must Return To U.S.

• Spencer Pratt says he didn't question Heidi Montag's decision to have 10 plastic surgery procedures in one day because, "I'm not in charge of what she does with any part of her body. I'm her husband – not her owner."

#dirtbag

Rumors Swirl After Tiger Woods' Car Accident; Jen And Gwyneth Are BFFs

• Tiger Woods was briefly hospitalized after his car crashed into a fire hydrant and tree outside of his home early Friday morning. Woods suffered lacerations on his lips, but is otherwise "in good condition." [Reuters]

#dirtbagafterdark

Jon Minus Hailey Plus Rabbi; Seacrest's Stalker Arrested As Miley's Goes Free

• No one saw this coming: Jon Gosselin dumped Hailey Glassman on the advice of his spiritual advisor, Rabbi Shmuley Boteach. "They're taking a break," said an insider, "[Jon] decided he needed to spend some time on his own." [Extra]

#clips

Swayze's Widow: "I Feel Like He Hasn't Left"

#dirtbag

Rosie & Angie's Dinner Date; Charlize's Nickname

• Did Rosie O'Donnell try to romance Angelina Jolie? She told Howard Stern on his radio show:

#dirtbagafterdark

Penelope And Javier Are Engaged; Jon Calls Money He Withdrew A "Paycheck"

• Penelope Cruz and Javier Bardem are engaged, according to a source, who also reports, "They tried to keep it very private and quiet" (and apparently aren't succeeding). Some suspect this rumored engagement may be related to her rumored pregnancy.

#dirtbagafterdark

Depp Wants To Jump Pirates Ship; Danes & Dancy Wed

• Supposedly, Johnny Depp doesn't want to make another Pirates of the Caribbean because he knows the last two "sucked." Disney will offer him a huge paycheck and if he refuses, he'll be replaced by a younger Zac Efron-type.

#dirtbagafterdark

Lindsay Lands Gig When Pussycat Doll Cancels; John Mayer's "A Very Inventive Lover"

• Lindsay Lohan will host concerts coinciding with the Singapore Grand Prix this weekend because Nicole Scherzinger had to cancel. Linds says she's qualified because, "I studied NASCAR for almost a year for Herbie. It was very hot inside those cars..."

#dirtbag

Jen Cries Over Brad; Lily Allen Quits Music

• Oh Christ: Jennifer Aniston "burst into tears in her trailer" while filming in New York.

#dirtbag

Courtney Love's Toilet Trouble; Backstage Emmy Drama

• Courtney Love "went nuts" when a guest at a party opened an unlocked bathroom and saw her on the toilet with her skirt around her ankles.

#dirtbag

Arrest Made In Lindsay Robbery; Khloe Kardasian Hears Wedding Bells

• Someone's been arrested in the Lindsay Lohan home burglary case — and it's not Lindsay Lohan!

#dirtbagafterdark

Katherine Heigl Completes Adoption; Lindsay Finds Rumor She's Been Committed Funny

• Katherine Heigl and husband Josh Kelley have completed the adoption of a 10-month-old Korean girl. They named her Nancy Leigh, after Katherine's mother Nancy and sister Margaret Leigh, but she'll go by the nickname Naleigh. [AP]

Patrick Swayze: Remembered Fondly By Feminists, Dirty Dancing Fans

#dirtbagafterdark

Jon Gosselin Gets Rid Of Family Dogs; Chris Brown Begins Community Service

• Is Jon Gosselin trying to look bad? He's returned the two family dogs to the breeder. "Jon blames Kate for having to give up the dogs," says a source. "Of course, these days Jon blames Kate for just about everything."

#dirtbag

Lindsay Takes Ali Bar-Hopping; Megan Fox Wants To Shoot Her Boyfriend

• More on this in Midweek Madness, but Lindsay Lohan hit up L.A.'s Crown Bar earlier this month — and took 15-year-old sister Ali with her. A source says:

#tweetbeat

Demi Quotes Ghost, In Memory Of Patrick Swayze

#inmemoriam

Remembering Patrick Swayze, The "Cowboy With The Tender Heart"

#dirtbag

Stars Remember Patrick Swayze; Kanye Drama Continues

• Whoopi Goldberg on Patrick Swayze:

#rip

Patrick Swayze Dies At Age 57

#dirtbagafterdark

Rosie Calls Elisabeth A Twat Swat; Kristen Stewart: "I Would Kill For Him, Literally."

• While performing stand-up in New York on August 5, Rosie O'Donnell started talking about her stint on The View, which she referred to as The Screw You, and called Elisabeth Hasselbeck "Elisabeth Half-a-brain." But Rosie wasn't done!

#dirtbag

Rihanna Back In Spotlight; Brat Packers Remember John Hughes

• Rihanna will appear on the September 14 launch of The Jay Leno Show — her first performance since being assaulted by Chris Brown in February. But she won't be alone: