• Tiger Woods was briefly hospitalized after his car crashed into a fire hydrant and tree outside of his home early Friday morning. Woods suffered lacerations on his lips, but is otherwise "in good condition." [Reuters]

• Woods' wife, Elin Nordegren, who was not in the car at the time of the crash, was responsible for pulling Woods out of the crashed vehicle by smashing the back windshield with golf clubs and pulling Woods, who was drifting "in and out of consciousness" out of the car. [People]
• TMZ is reporting a markedly different version of the story, however, claiming that Elin scratched Tiger's lips up before the accident, during a fight the two had over rumors that Woods was seeing another woman. Tiger then attempted to drive away, which is when Elin hit the back windshield with the golf clubs and Tiger drove into the hydrant. Oh, dear. [TMZ]
• Woods was reportedly unconscious for six minutes after the accident occurred. [DailyMail]
• Though alcohol has been ruled out as a cause of the crash, "unspecified charges" are apparently still pending. [TimesOnline]
• Ugh: Chris Brown will be interviewed by Robin Roberts for an episode of 20/20 on December 11. [Yahoo]
• The Arabian Horse Foundation has established a scholarship in the name of Patrick Swayze and his wife as a tribute to their "love of the Arabian breed and contributions over the years to AHA youth programs." [Yahoo]
• Kevin Federline pulled out of a radio show appearance in Australia after the station advertised that he'd discuss the possibility of getting back together with his ex, Britney Spears. Says Federline's publicist: "The headline was completely out of context with the interview and Kevin is not getting back with Britney, so he said, 'F... them, I'm not going to do their show'."[News.Au]
• Cate Blanchett says that vacuuming is a "therapeutic" experience: "It's a very satisfying noise when you hear all that grit sucked up from the floor and into the machine." [People]
• Courtney Love spent her Thanksgiving at Scores with actor DJ Qualls, which somehow seems totally normal. [PageSix]
• "The success of the Twilight books comes from the fact that fans can lust after Edward and yet, certainly in the first book, there's no actual sexual contact between him and the series heroine."- Robert Pattinson [ShowbizSpy]
• Rihanna had this advice for the remaining contestants on Britain's X-Factor: "'In this industry, if they can't take the comments that the judges are giving them, then they won't be prepared for this world. This world is a lot more intense and the comments can be a lot worse." [DailyMail]
• Zachary Quinto says that playing Spock hasn't really changed life just yet: "I don't know, maybe I should be chased down the street by rabid Star Trek fans. But I engage fans on a personal level, and I engage them as myself. It's really important that those boundaries are clear, and that's always been the case in my life. It seems to be working." [JustJared]
• David Hasselhoff was hospitalized yesterday after reportedly suffering a seizure. [RadarOnline]
• Jennifer Aniston and Gwyneth Paltrow showed up "practically clutching" each other at a party in Morocco recently, which clearly means they were talking shit about their mutual ex, Brad Pitt, and his tendency to copy their haircuts. [PageSix]
• "I still am a tomboy. I love to go fishing. I love sports. I used to play ice hockey. You know, I think people only see the glamour and the parties, but when I'm at home I'm completely different."-Paris Hilton [People]
• Megan Fox is a big fan of military men: "Every time I've ever come in contact with anybody from the military. You're always the most chivalrous, polite and respectful men I've ever met." [JustJared]
• A cellmate of Roman Polanski claims that the director was given special treatment in jail, including multiple phone calls to his lawyers and his wife and access to the guards at all times via a special call button. [DailyExpress]
• Jennifer Lopez's ex-husband, Ojani Noa, plans to release home videos of Lopez sometime next week, despite a $10 million lawsuit filed by Lopez earlier this month. [RadarOnline]
• "I do have a slight disability – I had difficulty trying to express myself properly and music is a release for me. I've grown up a bit, I'm more of a lady. I accept now that my life will never be the same and I don't want it to end. It's OK. It's comfortable on my shoulders right now. I don't feel pressure, I feel a sense of humility."- Susan Boyle [DailyExpress]
• Cobra Starship (or, if you were an early 00s emo kid, Midtown) singer Gabe Saporta had his phone briefly confiscated after he was spotted taking pictures of Lindsay Lohan while she partied. "The security team didn't care that he was the deejay," says a source, "They went up to Gabe, took his camera and erased all of his pictures to make sure there were none of her drinking or looking like she was having too much fun." [PageSix]
• Carrie Fisher admits that it's still a bit weird to hear Paul Simon sing songs about their relationship: "It is kind of trippy 15, 20 years down the line to turn on the radio and hear yourself complained about in song." [DailyExpress]
• OMG, you guys: The Blind Side actually beat New Moon at the box office on Thanksgiving. [EW]
• Despite (or perhaps because of) the controversy surrounding Adam Lambert after his fairly scandalous AMA's performance, Lambert's debut album, For Your Entertainment, is selling quite well. [CNN]
• Zig-a-zag-ouch: Victoria Beckham may undergo bunion-removal surgery after years of wearing super-high heels. "She is suffering from shooting pain from the bunions," says a source, "Normally, she kicks off her shoes in the house, but she has been out so much recently in high heels that she is really feeling it." [NYDN]
• "As a gangsta ass football coach who loved his family and kids and did tha best at everything he did and didn't take shit from no one, ya dig?!"-Snoop Dogg, on how he'd like to be remembered. [Guardian]

• No one saw this coming: Jon Gosselin dumped Hailey Glassman on the advice of his spiritual advisor, Rabbi Shmuley Boteach. "They're taking a break," said an insider, "[Jon] decided he needed to spend some time on his own." [Extra]

• Jon Gosselin is trying to connect with his "deeper, more spiritual, more altruistic self" through regular study sessions with Rabbi Shmuley Boteach, who is famous for serving as Michael Jackson's spiritual advisor. Jon said he plans to publicly apologize "in a sacred space to those whom I have hurt" on Sunday at Manhattan's West Side Synagogue. [People]
• Jon Gosselin sent a statement to the producers of Jon - Kate = Jon + Octomom saying that while he "appreciates the consideration and the potential revenues that it offers, after reviewing with both the management team and his spiritual advisors Jon has decided it is not in his best interest to pursue a show of this nature." [TMZ]
• Though Jon Gosselin claims he didn't hear about the show until it was reported in the media, emails between Jon and the producers have surfaced that detail the plot of the show, Hailey Glassman's role, and how much he would be paid. The producers write: "Pretty easy work for a million dollars." [Radar Online]
• The 53-year-old man who said Miley Cyrus sends him secret messages through his TV and was arrested for stalking her will be set free after pleading guilty to two misdemeanors. He has been sentenced to two years probation and must undergo a mental health evaluation. [TMZ]
• Miley Cyrus says of shooting her cameo in Sex and the City 2: Electric Boogaloo, "Literally, I shot for like an hour and a half, and I was done... it was a total dream come true." [People]
• A man accused of stalking Ryan Seacrest has been arrested inside the E! building. [TMZ]
• Seacrest's stalker, Chidi Uzomah, was sentenced to 3 years probation and ordered to stay away from Seacrest after attacking his security guard last month. He had a knife on him today. [TMZ]
• Chidi Uzomah showed up at the KIIS FM radio studio looking for Ryan Seacrest earlier this month and Ryan's people asked the police to arrest him for a parole violation. [TMZ]
• An Ohio prosecutor has dropped the charges against one of the three men accused of spying on Sarah Jessica Parker's surrogate because he wants him to testify against the other two. [AP]
• Nicole Richie is seeking a restraining order against the paparazzi who hit her car. [TMZ]
• Paris Hilton's neighbors called the police because she was throwing an incredibly loud party at 4 am, but by the time the police got there at 5 am it was totally quiet. [TMZ]
• Lindsay Lohan's bodyguard was detained yesterday because he tried to cross a police barricade. [TMZ]
• Matthew Morrison of Glee has "almost finalized" a record deal. "It's going to be different. I would consider it a classier Justin Timberlake album," he said. "It's going to be me and a big orchestra, but also with beats." [Access Hollywood]
• Cindy Crawford will guest judge the next episode of Project Runway. [People]
• Eddie Murphy will appear on the season finale of ANTM but he won't be a judge. He'll been supporting his daughter Bria Murphy, who will appear on the show. [E!]
• Vanessa Paradis, Johnny Depp's girlfriend, pushed a photograph on the way out of a Betsey Johnson store and yelled, "Are you mad?!" [ONTD]
• It was revealed on last night's RHOA reunion special that NeNe and Kim's feud is over. [People]
• A source says the rumor that Pamela Anderson is pregnant again are not true. The source says: "She's not pregnant... just happy. She doesn't have to say anything because they (rumours) are not true. She actually gets upset because her kids go to school. Of course, she cares. She's a human being. We're all human." [Daily Express]
• Earlier this week a stripper said she had a fling with Josh Duhamel after he married Fergie. Today a woman in the Air Force called in to a radio show and claimed that he slept with a few other women in the Air Force while he was filming Transformers 2. [Perez Hilton]
• A lady who has intimate knowledge of A-Rod's bedroom reveals "He was so vain. He had not one, but two painted portraits of himself as a centaur. You know, the half man, half horse figure? ... It was ridiculous." [Us]
• The preliminary hearing in the Anna Nicole Smith drug case has concluded and a judge decided there was enough evidence for Howard K. Stern, Dr. Sandeep Kapoor, and Dr. Khristine Eroshevich to stand trial. [TMZ]
• FYI, Dr. Mehmet's Oz's drink is tequila straight. [N.Y. Magazine]
• At the link Jimmy Fallon does another spoof of Robert Pattinson's sulking. [People]
• Steven Soderbergh has written a play about the Caylee Anthony case called Tot Mom that will be staged in Australia in December. [CBS News]
• For his Showtime documentary Poliwood director Barry Levinson followed Anne Hathaway, Susan Sarandon and other politically-active members of the Creative Coalition as they navigated the 2008 political conventions. He says, "I was fascinated at the level of criticism for those celebrities who have some genuine interest in the political process. You try to navigate through this media circus and hopefully don't end up the clown." [W]
• Tom Hanks says he loves Beyonce's "Single Ladies" because that' what he told his wife Rita Wilson when they first met: "I'm gon' put a ring on that finger. I'm gon' take that thing home." [AP]
• Mario Lopez says the persistent rumor that he and Eva Longoria once dated isn't true. "We get asked that a lot but I've known her for a long time and it would seem incestuous," he said. "We're both the same culture, same age, our families both know each other, so we go back. It would be weird. It would never happen." [Daily Express]
• Jude Law's rep says he and Sienna Miller aren't dating. "Jude and Sienna are just friends and are seeing each other socially occasionally as they are both on Broadway, performing just one block apart." [People]
• Michael Buble says he's happy for ex-girlfriend Emily Blunt and her fiance John Krasinski. "We talked and I congratulated her. Emily is amazing, so this guy also has to be," said Buble. [Daily Express]
• "I never expected to make a living at this when I was growing up. My whole career is pretty much by accident." — Weird Al Yankovic [CNN]
• Chaz Bono says that his girlfriend of four years, Jennifer Ella, stood by him through his recent gender reassignment surgery. "She's been amazing," he said, "I feel really grateful to be going through this with a partner." He adds: "Our relationship always modeled a heterosexual relationship, emotionally and intellectually. So now it does physically as well." [People]
• As just about every geeky guy has done at some point, David Beckham is growing a beard to try to look more like Wolverine. He says, "Halloween is coming up and I was thinking of Wolverine from X-Men. It's not some play-off ritual. I'm just lazy and can't be bothered to shave. And everybody keeps telling me to cut it and I'm stubborn." [Ok]
• Victoria Beckham says her solo singing career was a mistake. "People never believed the solo singing career, and it wasn't the real me - I was a little bit lost at the time. I don't mind making mistakes. I just can't live with anyone else's mistakes." [The Mirror]
• On Oprah today Lisa Niemi, Patrick Swayze's wife of 34 years said, "I feel him here. I feel like he hasn't left. I can feel every contour of his hand in mine." [People]

• Did Rosie O'Donnell try to romance Angelina Jolie? She told Howard Stern on his radio show:

"We talked on the phone two or three times, but that was that… There was a tentative plan to have dinner that never came through. I was a little afraid of Angelina. She's scary in a sexual kind of way." [Gatecrasher]

• Charlize Theron's nickname is Ass-nuts. No, really. [Mirror]
• Last week, Lil' Wayne pleaded guilty to possessing a .40-caliber semi-automatic cops found in a Louis Vuitton bag on his tour bus. He's focusing on partying before he gets sentenced in February — when he's expected to get a year in jail. [Page Six]
• Lindsay Lohan has moved out of her Hollywood Hills house, which was broken into in August. She's now in a West Hollywood condo. Adjust accordingly. [Page Six]
• On his album cover, Adam "Glambert" Lambert reminds me of Debbie Gibson or Belinda Carlisle. [The Life Files]
• Since her TV career is iffy, Kate Gosselin has renewed her nursing license — she used to be a labor and delivery nurse at The Reading Hospital and Medical Center in Pennsylvania. It's good to have a back-up plan! Imagine having contractions and then seeing her in the delivery room? [RadarOnline]
• Yikes: Matthew Broderick's new play was previewing Monday night, but he wasn't prepared. He had to stop the play to ask for his lines 10 times during the first act alone. [Gatecrasher]
• Critics cannot stop gushing about Carey Mulligan, earning her "It Girl" status. She says: "It Girl is such a weird term,… It implies I go to parties and drink champagne and um… it's weird." [CNN]
• The Church of Scientology is pissed Crash director Paul Haggis claims the religion is anti-gay. Tommy Davis, a spokesperson for Scientology, says: "The church supports civil rights for everybody, regardless of sexual orientation, race, color or creed. We are a minority, too; we understand what it's like to be persecuted, so to the extent that anything prohibits or inhibits on civil rights, we don't agree with it." So why was the Church's name of a list of churches which supported Prop 8? Davis says that was an error. [MSNBC Scoop]
• Take a deep breath: The Jonas Brothers are not, repeat NOT breaking up. It's true that Nick Jonas has formed a band called Nick Jonas & The Administration, but he says: "We've said from the beginning of our career as the Jonas Brothers that anything we do outside of the group is a side project because you can't break up brothers… My brothers are my biggest supporters." [People]
• Secrets from Sex And The City 2: The Reckoning Of The Boogaloo! It's bigger! But not as long as the first! The cast has been shooting all night! With huge crowds involving hundreds of people! Please God let it be a prison dance scene. [The Sun]
• In Lily Allen's new video, she plays a woman obsessed with Elton John. As you may recall, the two had a "feud" last year when she called him an old drunk (I'm paraphrasing) and he told her he could snort her under the table. [News.com.au]
• Richard Gere is in talks to star on the UK show Strictly Dancing. He's done ballroom before — in Shall We Dance, with Jennifer Lopez. Not that I've seen it. [The Sun]
• Andre Agassi did meth in the '90s and then lied when he failed a drug test. [NY Post]
• Ryan Seacrest is producing a show called The Bank Of Hollywood, in which contestants pitch money-making ideas to business leaders. Sean Patterson, president of Wilhelmina models (you've seen him on ANTM) will be the main judge. [Page Six]
• Dr. Conrad Murray is blaming Michael Jackson on his inability to pay child support; the DA is calling bullshit on that. [TMZ]
• Dr. Arnold Klein has filed a creditors claim against the Michael Jackson estate, claiming he's owed $48,522.89 for services performed between March 23 2009 through June 22 2009 — just three days before Jackson's death. The services include Botox, acne surgery, Latisse, Restylane, and "nutritic lips." [TMZ]
• One of the services Dr. Klein provided is listed as "I.M. injection. A source says says "I.M. Injection" is commonly used as billing code for the narcotic Demerol. [TMZ]
• Michael Jackson was in negotiations to buy a $38 million Bel Air mansion right before he died; his kids had seen the house and loved it. [TMZ]
• U2 will play a free concert in Berlin — in front of the Brandenburg Gate — to celebrate 20 years since the fall of the Berlin wall. [USA Today]
• Idris Elba was on The Office for seven episodes, and is continuing to have a relationship with NBC: He will be the executive producer of an legal drama about a vigilante lawyer who uses "any means necessary." Malcom X, Attorney At Law? [Reuters]
• Spotted: Jane Lynch — aka Glee's Sue Sylvester — making out with a "gal pal" in NYC. [Page Six]
• Morrissey returned to the stage after collapsing at his last show and made jokes about feeling ill. [Mirror]
• Simon Cowell recommended that Gordon Ramsey get some cosmetic surgery. So he did. [NY Post]
• Lisa Niemi, Patrick Swayze's widow, spoke at a women's conference on grief yesterday, saying: "When the grief takes you, it's like your body is not your own. I'm just going with the flow. I know I have to go through it. I've spent two thirds of my life with him. ... My regret is that I didn't tell him that I loved him enough over that entire 34 years. I am so grateful for what I had and my connection to him, and part of me believes that I will see him again… and I'm just going to have to go on until then." [People]
• Late Late Show host Craig Ferguson had to finish taping his show by flashlight last night when high winds knocked out the power at a CBS studio. That's what they call dark comedy, ba dum bum. [AP]
• Precious star Gabourey Sidibe is in talks to appear in a Showtime series called The C Word, in which Laura Linney stars as a terminal cancer patient. Gabby would have a guest spot as a teen with a bad attitude. [Variety]
• At the link, Alicia Silverstone talks about her fave recipe, restaurant, cookbook and food destination. [The Daily Beast]
• Corey Feldman's wife has filed for divorce. They've been married seven years and have a five-year-old son together. He'll be expected to pay attorney fees and spousal support, so maybe we'll get Lost Boys 2: The Frog Brothers' Revenge. [TMZ]
• Magician David Copperfield's sexual assault lawsuit has been delayed for six months. [AP]
• As a kid, I loved Miami Vice, so it's cool to hear Philip Michael Thomas is out there doing something, even if it's hosting a fundraiser for Republican Whilly Bermudez's campaign for the Florida legislature. I guess. [UPI]
• Michael Madsen: Facing eviction. [TMZ]
• "'I Google all day long, because I'm an information freak. I'm always looking for information about something. I do believe that Google was invented for me personally. 'As for Googling myself, I did that once but I gave up. There were seven and a half million sites, so I went 'whoops.'" — Michael Caine. [Telegraph]
• "I won't even see scary movies. I've been in them, and then I've been like, 'Whoa, this is way too scary for me.' I guess I've held on to some of those little childhood moments - when you're in the dark and there's a rattle outside and you're thinking there's a monster under your bed." — Josh Lucas. [Gatecrasher]

• Penelope Cruz and Javier Bardem are engaged, according to a source, who also reports, "They tried to keep it very private and quiet" (and apparently aren't succeeding). Some suspect this rumored engagement may be related to her rumored pregnancy.

• Cruz's rep had no comment. [Us]
• On Today this morning, Kate Gosselin said of Jon Gosselin emptying $200,000 out of their joint bank account, "When you've left your children and their mother without the funds to pay for the roof over their head, it's not acceptable... I need that money to provide for them. We were in the position after our sextuplets were born that we could not pay our bills. We did the show to provide a better life for them. Never did I think I'd be back in the same position." She suggested that Jon's new aggressive behavior may be due to the new lawyer he hired after his first dropped him a few weeks ago. "I think he's receiving bad counsel. He's always been one to listen to the one next to him," she said. [People]
• Jon Gosselin says Kate's story is, "a total fabrication." He explains, "I've never taken any money out because over 10 years, Kate handled all the banking. Over the past four years of doing the show, we accrued $2,250,000. She says in the past week I took $230,000. I have withdrawn roughly $177,000 over the course of a year, which is less than 10 percent of what we made. That's like my paycheck." He continues, "She's hiding money... We have 11 bank accounts. That was just our joint account. She had a best-selling book. Where's that million dollars? I believe she's incriminating herself and not thinking clearly. She's wanting me to look bad. I didn't want these things to come public. I didn't want this to be embarrassing for her." [People]
• On Today Kate Gosselin wore the ring Jon gave her when they renewed their vows last year and says, "I'm changing them out. I'm switching them out." She said she's planning on buying herself a ring to replace her wedding band. "We discussed a ring I might buy," she said. "It has eight little diamonds and a mother of pearl." [People]
• The money Jon Gosselin took from their joint account was their only real source of living income. The Gosselins have a $720,000 mortgage on their $1.12 million home. They haven't sold the first home and have another mortgage on that house. However, there is money set aside for the children in a trust fund. [TMZ]
• Audio and video tapes of the police sting operation targeting Pleasant Bridgewater and Tarino Lightbourne are being played in court today. In one John Travolta's attorney says he can't give them $25 million because, "John doesn't have that kind of bread ... not even lying around." On another tape Bridgewater tells the attorney, "I just want to get this over with ... I don't want to hear about it again ... I feel so badly about the whole thing." [TMZ]
• According to a transcript of the tapes, at one point John Travolta's lawyer says, "We can do a little rug merchant negotiations here." [TMZ]
• Nicole Richie was rear ended by a paparazzo today. Sources say there was an adult male passenger but her kids were not in the car. She said she was in pain but wanted to go to her own doctor, not the ER. The other driver has been arrested for driving without a license. [TMZ]
• Method Man has been arrested for allegedly failing to pay income tax for four years. If convicted, he could face four years in jail. [TMZ]
• A judge has sealed a new report on Michael Jackson's children and says he doesn't need any further updates. "It looks like the children are really doing wonderfully with their grandmother guardian," he said. [L.A. Times]
• Robert Pattinson says, "I'm trying to write some songs for the next [Twilight] movie... I don't know if it will be possible because of my schedule, but I want to do it. Music is the other side of me, it's one of the things that complete me and I wouldn't want to leave it aside for anything in the world. I have the intention of evolving in that aspect. It's something I want to develop just as much as acting. I want to have a balance between those two things." [Ok]
• On Today, a lawyer for Robert "Joe" Halderman, the man accused of trying to extort money from David Letterman, said Dave is a "master manipulator of the media," and that evidence will come out in court to exonerate Halderman. However when pressed, he couldn't say what that evidence might be. [People]
• According to a poll of 505 Late Show viewers, David Letterman's sex/extortion scandal hasn't changed their opinion of him much. 22 percent said they have a more negative perception of him now; 23 percent said they have a more positive perception of him now; and 55 percent said there is no change in their perception of Letterman. [UPI]
• Police say they found a suicide note on the computer found in the hotel room where Ryan Jenkins hanged himself. He never admits to killing Jasmine Fiore in the document, but apologizes to his friends and family for the pain he caused them. In the letter he blames Jasmine for the situation he's in and says he loves and hates her at different points. [TMZ]
• Guests at Patrick Swayze's memorial yesterday were greeted by a white horse he owned with Patrick's boots facing backwards in the stirrups, "It's an old horseman tradition," says a source. The memorial was held on the Sony Studios lot and was attended by several hundred people. "A whole dance floor was built," says another source. "The dancers did these amazing numbers." [People]
• Two independent record labels are suing Guns N' Roses for $1 million because they claim the group used songs by German musician Ulrich Schnauss on their album Chinese Democracy. [Reuters]
• Backstreet Boy Brian Litrell has H1N1. [TMZ]
• Carla Bruni-Sarkozy launched carlabrunisarkozy.org today to promote her charity work and reveal bits of her life as France's first lady, but the site crashed after being featured on the front page of several French news sites. [AFP]
• Previous reports claimed that DJ AM's property generated $3.5 million per year, but it turns out that was the total value of his properties. [TMZ]
• MTV will air DJ AM's addiction series Gone Too Far beginning on October 12. The network released a statement from his family saying, "It is our hope through airing this show that people will get to see the side of Adam that we knew and loved, not just the celebrity DJ, but the honest and caring person who gave so much of himself to help others." [TMZ]
• Antonio Banderas has been ordered to demolish part of his beachfront Spanish villa after losing a court battle. He built part of his home into a public beach area and reportedly turned down an offer to buy the land from the community for £2 million. [Daily Express]
• Eddie Cibrian's estranged wife Brandi Glanville says, "I have a new neighbor and her name is LeAnn Rimes. She's moved in a half a mile from my house and a block from my son's school. So she is completely space invading me at the moment so things are not cool," adding, "There is a point where she needs to have a sensitive side and back the F up." [Us]
• Just so you know, "Sherri Shepherd Still Has Jiggly Thighs" [People]
• Maggie Smith says receiving chemotherapy and radiotherapy treatments for breast cancer have left her "flattened" with no energy or confidence. "I'm frightened to work in theatre now. I feel very uncertain. I haven't done it for a while," said Smith, who is 74, adding, "I think it's the age I was when it happened. It takes you longer to recover, you are not so resilient." [The Daily Mail]
• Anne Heche says she won't introduce her sons to her mother because she works with Focus on the Family to preach against homosexuality. She joined the group after Heche's father, a closet homosexual who sexually abused Heche, died of AIDS in 1983. Heche says, "My mother preaches to this day the opposite of that core of my life. It is no mistake that she still stands up against love. And one wonders why I'm not rushing to have her meet my children." [Daily Express]
• Here's a blind item of sorts: Sarah Paulson says of a script she read recently, "All I can tell you is it's, like, a humongous famous actor and, like, the most famous director ever. It was like this movie is like the hottest movie and I literally threw it across the room - like, This is terrible. The state of the business right now, it's like some of the most famous actors in the world are taking parts that normally people like me could get, but now I can't get them because really famous people want them because they're not making as many movies. So when the script turns around, everyone gets all excited, and I was like, "Wow, they can have it. This thing sucks." [NY Magazine]
• Ashlee Simpson-Wentz says of Heather Locklear joining the new Melrose Place, "She's great. She's fantastic. I really, truly believe that she's part of the heart of the show. She's so sweet and has a great energy, so it's great to have her on the show." [People]
• "It's sad when you realize you can't be the angry young man anymore. The angry young man is barely ever interesting, and tolerable in his 20s. But his late 20s? Early 30s? God forbid late 30s? You can't anymore. I'm in a business where I get to make pretend for a living, so what the fuck am I angry about? There's nothing anymore; I'm a very content, middle aged man. People are like 'Ah when are Jay and Silent Bob coming back?' And I'm like 'I don't think they are. I'm fuckin' 39! I can't just put my fuckin' hat on backwards." — Kevin Smith [The Huffington Post]
• Carrie Fisher says of sharing the details of her life in various memoirs, "The fact that I can make somebody laugh at this stuff-it can be very cathartic. If you claim something, you can own it. But if you have it as a shameful secret, you're fucked; you're sitting in a room populated by elephants. I have a lot of elephants to kill. But I also have a lot to be grateful for. Most of my problems are high-class. As Mike Nichols used to say, ‘The champagne is flat and the caviar has run out-will it never end?'" [Vanity Fair]

• Supposedly, Johnny Depp doesn't want to make another Pirates of the Caribbean because he knows the last two "sucked." Disney will offer him a huge paycheck and if he refuses, he'll be replaced by a younger Zac Efron-type.

• The book On Stranger Tides, upon which the fourth Pirates film will be based, leaves room for a younger character to take the lead, but could someone like Shia LaBeouf or Robert Pattinson really fill the void left by Captain Jack? [MTV]
• Claire Danes and Hugh Dancy got married earlier this month in a small ceremony in France. [Life And Style]
• Jessica Simpson is doing some damage control after the negative reaction to her complaints about having to sleep under a mosquito net in Uganda on Friday. Her rep said, "The accommodations were certainly interesting, but Jessica enjoyed being a part of a totally different culture." And the next day Jess Tweeted on Sunday: "Uganda was truly a beautiful adventure... I will carry the spirit of all the people with me always. God Bless." [People]
• Roman Polanski's lawyer called into Good Morning America today to say that though his client was arrested in Switzerland on Saturday, he's in "very good shape" and he believes it will be possible for Polanski "to obtain his freedom." [TMZ]
• French foreign minister Bernard Kouchner called Roman Polanski's arrest a "bit sinister" and a petition protesting his detention is going around Hollywood. So far Monica Bellucci and Fanny Ardant have signed. Harvey Weinstein said, "We're calling on every film-maker we can to help fix this terrible situation." [BBC]
• Roman Polanski has refused to be extradited from Switzerland to the United States. [AFP]
• Two previous attempts to arrest Roman Polanski when he travelled to countries that have extradition treaties to the U.S. failed because he learned of the plans and cancelled his trips. But he travels to Switzerland frequently and "had no suspicion he'd be entrapped" according to a source. [People]
• TMZ has obtained the 911 call that lead to David Hasselhoff being taken to the hospital last week. In the first, one of his ex-wife Pamela Bach's friends calls 911 to report an incident at Hasselhoff's home, but when the dispatcher calls the house and get his daughter Hayley, she says, "Turn around ... we're completely fine... My mom is trying to cause something ... nothing happened here at all." [TMZ]
• Burglars broke into Gwen Stefani's London mansion to steal her jewelry on Saturday night while she was at a concert in Singapore. They got into a flat Stefani rents to Dame Elizabeth Forgan, head of the Arts Council, but were unable to get into Stefani's flat. [Daily Mail]
• Britney Spears went to the Sugar Factory candy store in Las Vegas this weekend and spent $3,000. She bought three Halloween baskets, two buckets of Swedish Fish, a box of milk chocolate, and 25 of her own Circus Tour lollipops for $25 a piece. [TMZ]
• Pleasant Bridgewater, the Bahamian senator who was charged with extortion over a document regarding medical treatment for Jett Travolta, may have destroyed the document in question, a Refusal of Treatment/Transportation order signed by John Travolta. [People]
• Pamela Anderson is denying that she didn't pay contractors who worked on her home because she's broke, explaining, "I'm financially secure... It is true that I am in a dispute with some of the contractors working on my home. This is because after paying millions of dollars to build the house I continue to get bills from the contractors." [People]
• She adds, "Mistakes may have been made in calculating taxes owed and we are now in the process of ensuring that any taxes owed are paid." [TMZ]
• Kim Kardashian Tweeted after her sister Khloe's wedding: "Tonight was one of the best nights of my life!" [People]
• The day after Khloe's wedding Kim Kardashian supposedly took a flight to New Orleans to see Reggie Bush. "The wedding made her miss him, so she flew to see him," says a source. [E!]
• This week, Lady Gaga will be honored as Billboard's "Rising Star" as the publication's annual Women in Music event. [AP]
• Evi and Randy Quaid's former private investigator Becky Altringer says that Evi frequently used a bad credit card under the name Janet Cross. [Radar Online]
• Altringer adds, "Randy told me that none of his family will see or talk to him because of Evi... He told me that he really misses his mother and his brother Dennis, but that they are all afraid of Evi. I used to see him tear up when he'd talk about them." [Radar Online]
• Mackenzie Phillips says of her family's reaction to her incest allegations, "Don't get me wrong, I understand that my family doesn't want this played out nationally, but the people who are saying that I'm lying have known about it for such a long time. [They're] trying to discredit me in a public way to either protect the brand of The Mamas and the Papas or to protect the memory of [my father.] ... I absolutely loved my father, but he wasn't a good man. He was deeply flawed." [CBS News]
• Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt adopted a second puppy. Nine weeks ago they got a maltipoo puppy named Dolly and they says, "We're getting Dolly's brother and naming him Inky the Ninja!" [People]
• In the audiobook of Patrick Swayze's book Time of My Life, which he narrates, he says he felt "anger, bitterness and despair" when he was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. [People]
• Ben Lee and Ione Skye welcomed a daughter, Goldie Priya Lee, on Thursday. [People]
• First Republic Bank has put a hold on Frances Bean Cobain's $1.2 million trust fund because there's a dispute over whether Courtney Love or the Laird Norton Tyee Trustee Company has the right to access her account. Love's attorney says the band is just stalling because she and the trustee had agreed to move the money to a different bank and First Republic doesn't want to lose the account. [TMZ]
• Jaime Kennedy is claiming that a now-former assistant is responsible for the reports that he was cheating on Jennifer Love Hewitt. Perez Hilton suggests that Kennedy himself may have called and accused "Miguel" of making the rumors up. [Perez Hilton]
• Fred Durst and wife of two months, Esther Nazarov, have split up. He announced on Twitter: "For those of you inquiring, I will confirm that Esther and I have decided to go our separate ways and we both thank you for your support." He added, "We remain very positive and wish only the best for each other." [Perez Hilton]
• Jude Law says of playing Hamlet on Broadway, "He demands such a reveal of your inner feelings and thoughts that you have to open yourself up to him and see where he takes you." [Style.com]
• Kristin Cavallari says of working on The Hills, "I pretty much do anything they have me do because I don't care... I mean, we're filming a TV show. Let's make it interesting. Let's have a good time with it."
  [L.A. Times]
• Jeremy Piven's RocknRolla co-star Ludacris is clearing up the murcury poisoning rumors once and for all. He says: "A lot of people thought he was making up the mercury poisoning thing. I'm telling you, as his friend trying to look out for him, when he was around me, he definitely OD'd on fish."
  [N.Y. Observer]

• Lindsay Lohan will host concerts coinciding with the Singapore Grand Prix this weekend because Nicole Scherzinger had to cancel. Linds says she's qualified because, "I studied NASCAR for almost a year for Herbie. It was very hot inside those cars..."

• She adds: "I like to drive. I like cars. I like fast cars." When asked about the rumors that she knows Nicholas Prugo, the man arrested for burglarizing her apartment, Lindsay said, "I don't really want to get into the details of that. That's for the detectives to do."[AP]
• Sarah Jessica Parker and Kim Cattrall are feuding on the set of SATC 2 and refusing to speak to each other. "While the cast is all smiles on the outside, the level of dislike is unbelievable. No-one is having a good time on this shoot," says an insider. "The crew have taken to calling her ‘Carrie Sadshaw'. When she doesn't have to be ‘on' in her scenes, she looks so sad." [Ok]
• "I have great balance and co-ordination," says John Mayer. "Inventiveness. I am a very inventive lover - that's the secret to my success." [The Sun]
• Clive Owen says his new film about fatherhood, The Boys Are Back, is "A different kind of film... Parenting's a big part of my life, so it felt very natural to me." [Style.com]
• Last weekend David Hasselhoff's 17-year-old daughter Hayley called an ambulance because she believed he had alcohol poisoning. He patched thinkgs up by taking her to a lingerie launch party at a sex shop last night. [TMZ]
• In his tell-all memoir Behind the Bell Dustin Diamond claims his Saved By The Bell castmates smoked pot and hooked up. He claims Mark Paul Gosselaar used steroids and "suddenly exploded with manliness, loading 25 pounds of muscle on his once-scrawny frame in, oh, about a month." Gosselaar dismissed the allegations, joking: "We weren't in rehab and Mr. Belding wasn't my crack dealer." [Us]
• MTV will probably air DJ AM's drug-intervention reality show Gone Too Far. A final decision hasn't been made but sources say the network has been talking to his family about airing the show. [Hollywood Reporter]
• Pamela Anderson owes creditors more that $1.2 million after failing to pay various contractors who remodeled her Malibu home last year. [Star]
• Khloe Kardashian met her fiance Lamar Odom on August 27th when she hosted a party at a bar for new Laker Ron Artest and he picked up the $3,000 tab for unknown reasons. [TMZ]
• Today Kirsten Dunst testified against a man charged with stealing her $2,000 Balenciaga bag and $2,000 from a New York City hotel suite while she was on a movie set in August 2007. [AP]
• An arrest warrant has been issued for Randy Quaid and his wife Evi. They have been under investigation for the past week for allegedly stiffing the San Ysidro ranch hotel after running up a $10,000 bill. [Radar Online]
• They are expected to be charged with three felony counts each: Defrauding an innkeeper, conspiracy, and burglary. Bail will be set at $20,000. Sources say they also owe the Hotel Bel-Air $17,000 and stole a Hertz Rent-A-Car. [Radar Online]
• Randy and Evi Quaid were arrested this afternoon. Sources say there was a struggle and Evi had to be wrestled to the ground. [TMZ]
• In his upcoming memoir The Time of My Life, Patrick Swayze reveals that when he first read the script for Dirty Dancing he thought "It seemed fluffy - nothing more than a summer-camp movie." [AP]
• Ashlee Simpson says she's excited that Heather Locklear is guest starring on the new Melrose Place. "We're all really thrilled that Heather is coming back!" she said. "Of course we are - she was kind of the heart of the show. It's been great to have a lot of the original cast, and to have Heather join is really incredible. I'm excited!" [People]
• Sacha Baron Cohen will play a "pretty angry but funny" Israeli tour guide on an episode of The Simpsons that will probably air in March. [News.com.au]
• Whitney Port said MTV is letting her work on her fashion line and have a fashion show on The City while they always made Lauren Conrad hide her real life on The Hills because, "They saw how passionate I was about designing my clothing line and I really told them, 'This is what I want to do - I don't want to work in public relations and what I want to do is design. So please allow me to do this and please show my reality.'" [N.Y. Magazine]
• When Vampire Diaries star Ian Somerhalder was asked if he's worried audiences are suffering from vampire fatigue he said, "Yes. Yes. Yes. But - there is a but - and I think that is that Twilight is a feature, a big franchise. True Blood is HBO. Vampire Diaries is prime-time network. They're all so different as far as their medium. When you're a young teen, you can't sit in a room with your mom and watch True Blood - it would be very uncomfortable for everyone involved. And Twilight you get once a year. This show is every week, and it's fun, it's smart, it's sexy, it's witty, and it's now - and those characteristics slip perfectly into this crazy sort of vampire jigsaw puzzle we all find ourselves looking at. [N.Y. Magazine]
• Is Variety editor Peter Bart trying to stir up a girl fight between Jane Campion and Kathryn Bigelow? The Women & Hollywood blogs asks if this is how he's describe two male directors: "Jane Campion, 55, made a quintessentially romantic picture in Bright Star, but in person she is cerebral, somewhat severe, leans toward post-hippie attire and seems perplexed by the rigors of the award circuit. Kathryn Bigelow, 57, is tall, model thin, a one-time art student whose gracious manner belies her proclivity for tense, even violent films – The Hurt Locker is her contender." [Women & Hollywood]
• Stephen Moyer says when he marries Anna Paquin his dog "Splash, my alpha, will be the ringbearer... My son [Billy, born in 2000] might be unhappy about that." [People]
• Gerard Butler says of his Ugly Truth co-star Katherine Heigl adopting, "She will be an amazing mom... She's incredibly responsible, smart and loving. This is a huge deal for her and she's going to take to it like a duck to water." [People]
• Last night Leonard Cohen performed in Israel for the first time in 30 years. Some Palestinian activists were calling for a boycott of the show. His manager said, "There are a lot of people who don't want us here, and anything done here invites controversy, but we believe freedom of speech is very, very important." [AP]
• Mary J. Blige, who has an adult daughter and two step-children says, "I don't think I'll do foster care or adopt, to be quite honest," at a New York event honoring her for her work with New Yorkers for Children. "I barely have time for my own children. To adopt more children and not have time for them, that [would be] poor parenting on my [part]." [People]
• Drew Barrymore says of her mother, "I believe she will see the film [Whip It]. I believe she does feel pride in me. I used to pull a lot emotionally from all the stuff with my family, but I did not do this movie to cleanse myself of the mother/daughter debacle that happened in my life. I have been much more objective about my childhood and my relationship with my mother in these last few years. I used to be more attached to all that. I won't deny that the baggage was there at one point." [Just Jared]
• "Some days I want nothing more than a brilliant mask so I could look like someone else and go wander the streets and be free," says Drew Barrymore. "I'm very peeved that Halloween only comes once a year." [CNN]
• Rich Sommer, who plays Harry Crane on Mad Men says of last week's episode [spoilers ahead], "When I got the script, I read that foot scene, and I thought it was kind of crazy, and I couldn't really see how it fit in. So I was surprised at how well the episode turned out. I was a little nervous about that scene. For the past few weeks, the writers and the editors have been saying, 'Oh my God, just wait until the lawnmower episode - it's unbelievable! It's unbelievable, it's a great episode,' and I was just like, "Oh, great! Good.' And then I saw it and I was like, "Wow! It is a really good episode." [N.Y. Magazine]

• Oh Christ: Jennifer Aniston "burst into tears in her trailer" while filming in New York.

The "unlucky-in-love actress" was late coming out of her trailer while filming The Bounty a few weeks ago, and allegedly tearfully said to an assistant: "I need a moment. This scene reminds me of Brad and me." A source says: "While she enjoyed flirting with Gerard on set and put a brave face on every day, privately she is still very fragile." Eyeroll! (Note: Her rep says this story is "ridiculous… it never happened.") [Page Six]

• By the by, Jennifer Aniston went to see Hugh Jackman and Daniel Craig in A Steady Rain on Broadway on Tuesday. [Gatecrasher]
• Samantha Burke, who had a dalliance with Jude Law, gave birth yesterday in Florida. [Page Six]
• What the what? Renée Zellweger is not going to gain a bunch of weight for the third Bridget Jones flick? A source says she will wear a fat suit, out of concern about the health effects of quickly putting and then losing 30 lbs. [MSNBC]
• Katherine Heigl made the news of her adoption public the same day Ellen Pompeo gave birth to a daughter of her own, and a source says: "It looks like they were trying to one-up one another." There's something very Penelope about this: "Well my kid was born earlier than yours, and is already at Harvard, so…" [Page Six]
• John Travolta took the stand yesterday, admitting that his son Jett was autistic and suffered from a seizure disorder — having seizures every five to 10 days. [MSNBC]
• Travolta also said that the ambulance took 40 minutes to reach his son, and by the time his son got to the emergency room, he was not alive. [NY Post]
• The alleged extortionists in the John Travolta case have been caught on video haggling over money; their lawyers will try to get the videotape thrown out of court on the grounds it was illegally recorded. [TMZ]
• Lily Allen: Quitting the music biz. She blogged: "Just so you know, I have not renegotiated my record contract and have no plans to make another record (applause). I do however remain a fan of new music, so this is not some selfish crusade. The days of me making money from recording music has been and gone as far as I'm concerned, so I don't (at this point) stand to profit from legislation… If you can't sell your music, you can't go on. It's that simple." [Digital Spy]
• Lily Allen will concentrate on acting; she will be in a production of Neil LaBute's play Reasons To Be Pretty in London's West End. [Daily Mail]
• Photos of Kelly Bensimon will be in Playboy. A source says: "Kelly is telling everyone that she might be on the cover." The snaps were taken years ago by Kelly's ex, Gilles Bensimon, but a source says: "They're sexy, but they won't set the world on fire." [Page Six]
• Mackenzie Phillips has revealed shocking details of her relationship with her father, and John Phillips' ex wife, Michelle Phillips (who was in the Mamas & The Papas), says: "Mackenzie has a lot of mental illness. She's had a needle stuck up her arm for 35 years. She was arrested for heroin and coke just recently… The whole thing is timed. Mackenzie is jealous of her siblings, who have accomplished a lot and did not become drug addicts." But Michelle Phillips daughter, Chynna Phillips, who is Mackenzie's half sister, says: "After long nights of heroin use, (Mackenzie is) claiming that she once woke up and that my father was on top of her having sex with her. Was he actually raping her? I don't know. Do I believe that they had an incestuous relationship and that it went on for 10 years? Yes." [MSNBC]
• Christina Aguilera recently traveled to Guatemala with the World Food Programme to see the impact of hunger; . Guatemala has the fourth highest child malnutrition rate in the world. Christina says: "WFP urgently needs donations to keep feeding some 150,000  women and undernourished children – I want to raise awareness and open people's eyes so they can get the funds they need to keep on working… One of the biggest lessons I'm taking away from this trip is the importance of healthy food. If a child under two doesn't get the nutrients they need, we can never fix the damage later on." [WFP]
• Kirsten Dunst will testify today against a man accused of burglarizing her hotel room. [NY Daily News]
• Kanye West is being prosecuted for breaking a paparazzi's camera at LAX last September; last Friday, his lawyer went to the judge and pushed back the hearing until late October. Is he still trying to keep a low profile? [TMZ]
• Hmm: Kanye West has posted a video promoting his "Fame Kills" tour with Lady Gaga. So maybe the tour is on after all. [KanyeUniverseCity]
• "First new Michael Jackson song set for release; posthumous single 'This Is It' to hit airwaves" [Gatecrasher]
• Macy Gray was eliminated from Dancing With The Stars and was too distraught to go on Jimmy Kimmel Live afterward, like most eliminated contestants do. Her partner, Jonathan Roberts says: "She put her whole heart into the show. She feels like she let her fans down." [ET]
• Real NYU students find Gossip Girl's version of NYU laughable. [NY Post]
• Robert Rodriguez and Rose McGowan: Still on. [Page Six]
• Eva Longoria Parker says she wants to go back to school and enroll in a master's program in Chicano studies and political science to learn more about her Mexican roots. She's a Texas native, but her family is originally from the northern Mexican city of Monterrey. [AP]
• In the Anna Nicole Smith case, search warrant affidavits suggest Howard K. Stern put his name on prescriptions for drugs that were given to Smith, and claim that a total of 44 different medications were prescribed for Smith under a number of other names, including Stern's. [NY Post]
• Remember how Suzanne Somers said that Patrick Swayze should have fought his cancer "nutritionally"? Whoopi Goldberg didn't like that, and says: "Patrick did everything and went everywhere to try and stay healthy as long as he could. That he's been gone a week and this statement came out is bad timing and bad taste and Suzanne, you should know better." Now Suzanne says: "In a casual conversation at a private party (with someone who never identified himself as a reporter) at the Toronto Film Festival last week, I was asked about this beloved actor. It was never my intention to make an official statement about his passing. I was not informed or aware I was being interviewed. I would never have been so insensitive as to offer a public statement so close to his untimely passing. I sincerely apologize if my comment has caused any additional pain to his family during this difficult time. I send my deepest condolences for their loss." [Perez]
• Unsolicited uterus update: Jennifer Jason Leigh is pregnant; she and director husband Noah Baumbach (The Squid and the Whale) are expecting a baby in March. [ONTD via National Enquirer]
• Michael Moore stirred up trouble on Good Morning America yesterday, exposing the stripped rights of permalancers. [NY Post]
• Survivor winner Richard Hatch was denied his request to serve the remaining weeks of his sentence for tax evasion in home confinement. He'll have to stay in jail. [USA Today]
• "Phyllida Law, mother of the actress Emma Thompson, has had her stolen gargoyles returned two years after they were stolen after announcing she had put a curse on the thieves." [Telegraph]
• Q: How traumatic is it for you to not be wearing tights and poofy britches?
  A: "It's very easy. I do miss sliding off the back of a horse, but apart from that it's all good. It's actually rather wonderful running around, blazing a Glock on my hip." — Joseph Fiennes on his new show, FlashForward. [Washington Post]
• "I'm a bit scared of being single and scared of getting into another relationship, but I'm married to my work right now." — Natalie Imbruglia, who split from husband Daniel Johns in January 2008. [Sydney Morning Herald]
• "I took a couple years off and, during that time, I felt like I wanted to know what was important to me, what I really loved and what I was interested in. And if I even wanted to make films anymore. I felt I had done what I had to do. I contemplated being a hermit. I went to a distant mountain top that you could only walk to. No electricity. No water. I spent about five days there and thought, 'This is fantastic. Maybe I am a hermit.' " — Jane Campion, on life after her 2003 film In The Cut, which critics panned. [USA Today]
• "Once I got the part, I did some work with a coach. Everybody else in the show is doing a modern Southern accent and I wanted something old-fashioned. There are no contractions. Bill never says can't or won't. It's always, 'I did not want you to do that,' which is funny because you then find yourself doing it in everyday life, saying things like, 'I cannot stand pains aux raisins.'" — Stephen Moyer on his True Blood character. [Telegraph]
• "I am fine — happy and healthy. It's irresponsible when people obsess about my shape and size. I appreciate there are young girls and women who look at me as a role model and it is untrue to say I do not eat and I am unhealthy. 'I have a healthy diet, a healthy lifestyle and plenty of energy to run after my three energetic boys and travel the world managing my fashion business." — Victoria Beckham. [Daily Mail]
• "We did have a few moments of friction when we were tired or after a long day of shooting. [Jennifer Grey] seemed particularly emotional, sometimes bursting into tears if someone criticized her. Other times, she slipped into silly moods, forcing us to do scenes over and over again when she'd start laughing. I was on overdrive for the whole shoot - staying up all night to do rewrites, squeezing in dance rehearsals, shooting various scenes - and was exhausted a lot of the time. I didn't have a whole lot of patience for doing multiple retakes. It was horrifyingly, hypothermically cold in that lake, and we filmed that scene over and over. And despite the fact that Jennifer was very light, when you're lifting someone in water, even the skinniest little girl can feel like 500 pounds." — Memories of making Dirty Dancing, from Patrick Swayze's memoir. [Gatecrasher]

• Courtney Love "went nuts" when a guest at a party opened an unlocked bathroom and saw her on the toilet with her skirt around her ankles.

Apparently she launched herself at the dude, and though people tried to calm her down, a security guy told the man: "It's best you get away as fast as possible." [Page Six]

• Backstage at the Emmys, Paramedics were called for Kristin Chenoweth, who complained of a migraine headache and then said she couldn't open her eyes. [Access Hollywood]
• More backstage Emmys drama: A fight between Maksim Chmerkovskiy and Karina Smirnoff got "kind of loud." Apparently they were "screaming at each other"after he said she took too long in hair and makeup. [E!]
• Mad Men and 30 Rock were big winners at the Emmys last night. [NY Daily News]
• Cloudy With A Chance Of Meatballs won the weekend box office; Jennifer Aniston's Love Happens came in fourth — one of her worst openings in years — and Jennifer's Body placed fifth. [Ny Daily News]
• "Mr. T's Chance of Meatballs character fits him to a T." [USA Today]
• Kate Gosselin taped her Mom Logic TV show pilot over the weekend, and even though guests Mel B and Christie Brinkley were nixed, a source says the taping "went extremely well" and "Kate did great." [Radar]
• Congrats! Zooey Deschanel married Death Cab For Cutie singer Ben Gibbard Saturday night near Seattle. [People]
• Did you know that Susan Sarandon has been a member of a Ping-Pong society for years? [NY Magazine]
• From a profile on Madonna: "Scented Christian Dior candles fill the air in a space so dimly lit, it seems both slightly theatrical and quasi-religious. A huge telephone with multiple extensions bears labels such as M study, M dressing room, M bathroom, Laundry, Music Room, Kitchen, Mews." And: "A lot of people are just really confused by me… They don't know what to think of me, so they try to compartmentalize me or diminish me. Maybe they just feel unsafe. But any time you have an overtly emotional or irrational, negative reaction to something, you're fearing something that it's bringing up in you." [Times Of London]
• Paula Abdul almost refused to co-present with Kathy Griffin at the VH1 Divas concert because of all the insulting jokes Kathy had made. [Gatecrasher]
• Amy Winehouse was leaving a nightclub recently when a passerby shouted "Oi Amy, where's your crack pipe?" [The Sun]
• Heidi Klum and Seal can't decide on a name for the baby girl they are expecting. Seal says: "It has been the topic of debate for the last month. We can't quite figure it out. I'm a firm believer that she will pop out and will tell us what she wants to be called." [Mirror]
• Charlize Theron's nude scene in The Burning Plain — in which she smokes a cigarette while standing at a window in full view of passersby in Portland, OR — was shot at 6 a.m. to avoid paparazzi. [Page Six]
• Oprah had a block party in Chicago and paid more than $54,000 for city services. [Ny Post]
• Joy Behar would love to get Sarah Palin on her new show on HLN and talk to her about the "real America." "It's insulting to men like my father, who fought in World War II, whom she doesn't think are real Americans because we don't agree with her." Joy also says: "Look, it's not that I'm contentious; I'm uncompromising. I'm friendly, but I can't let things go unchallenged. And I intend to give my opinions quite profusely. I might even have to interrupt myself." [New York Magazine]
• New couple? Kid Cudi and Amanda Bynes??? [Gatecrasher]
• They're saying Mischa Barton's a mess in the morning and needs someone to "fix" her coffee, but who isn't and who doesn't? [Page Six]
• So what is up with that Taylor Momsen record contract that allows her singing on Gossip Girl and the "Runaways Project"? She's not in the Runaways movie! Was she was supposed to get Dakota Fanning's part? Or does she have a secret cameo? [TMZ]
• Beth Ditto has banned her girlfriend from touring with her: "[It's] not because I don't think she can handle it, but because that's my life. Say what you want about me. Say it to my face, say it behind my back, write it on the fucking bathroom mirror, I don't care. But do not talk about the people I love. I will lose my mind." [NME]
• An ambulance was called to David Hasselhoff's house yesterday; apparently his 17-year-old daughter, who was home with him, called her mother, saying that David was extremely drunk. A friend of Pamela's called 911. [TMZ, TMZ]
• January Jones, aka Mad Men's Betty Draper, has purchased a lovely home in the Los Feliz neighborhood of L.A., and you can see the pix at the link. [The Real Estalker]
• The Guinness World Records board has refused to let the White Stripes into their record book for playing a one-note concert, due to insufficient interest. Twelve hundred people showed up to a gig in Canada where Jack White played an E. [Mirror]
• Stephen Moyer on his engagement to Anna Paquin: "It was very intimate and quite surprising for her, I think, and we were by ourselves at dinner in Hawaii and...I surprised her. But it was something that surprised me probably more than it surprised her." He also says: "She is very funny and very frank and very direct and beautiful… She doesn't take any of my nonsense." [E!]
• David Arquette and Ben Harper have a clothing line called Propr, and Arquette says: ""We love the idea of chivalry and going in an old-school barber… There's a quality that's in the finer details, like they really thought it out a step further." More from "A Night Out" with the duo at the link. [NY Times]
• Ryan O'Neal visited Farrah Fawcett's grave after their son, Redmond, was ordered to leave jail and go to rehab for a year. [Daily Mail, USA Today]
• Nicole's sister Antonia Kidman is engaged to Singapore-based banker Craig Marran. [News.com.au]
• Terry Gilliam got Johnny Depp to tango for The Imaginarium Of Doctor Parnassus even though Johnny allegedly said "Men don't dance." [Mirror]
• Oy: Sacha Baron Cohen will play an Israeli tour guide on The Simpsons. [UPI]
• From a piece on John Malkovich's new film, Disgrace, set in post-apartheid South Africa: "[Malkovich's character] Lurie appears the virtual embodiment of white male arrogance, an English professor who views himself through the prism of Romantic poetry and who pursues an exploitive, obsessive affair with a much younger, mixed-race student. You can't say that he rapes her, but the issue of consent between an inexperienced young woman and a practiced seducer — one with direct power over her academic future — is complicated, to say the least." [Salon]
• Will Diddy switch record labels? [Page Six]
• Scott Weiland had a seizure on a plane while en route from Los Angeles to Florida, causing the plane to land in Dallas-Fort Worth; he is "doing great" now. [E!]
• Larry King hates frivolous lawsuits. [TMZ]
• John Travolta may be a witness at the trial for two people accused of trying to extort $25 million from him after his son died in the Bahamas. [AP]
• John Travolta says if he is called to testify, he will do so. [ET]
• Sources say John Travolta's testimony will be dramatic and emotional. [TMZ]
• Ozzy Osbourne's new memoir describes appearing on the MTV show The Osbournes as "terrifying" and like being "strapped to a rocket and being blasted through the stratosphere at warp factor ten." [Mirror]
• Leonard Cohen is recovering after collapsing on stage during a show in Spain; he reportedly had food poisoning. [UPI]
• James Blunt is accusing internet service providers of "handling stolen goods" by allowing file sharing and illegal downloads. [Telegraph]
• Anoushka Shankar, Ravi Shankar's daughter, had been the victim of a blackmail plot; an arrest has been made. [Independent]
• District 9 is not welcome in Nigeria. [NY Post]
• "Frustrated cops probing Jordan's claim to have been raped by a celebrity said yesterday they could do no more unless she co-operates." [The Sun]
• "You're not going to be successful. You're not going to be millionaires (with the exception of MAYBE Kris and Adam). No one will care about you. Those fans who've been asking for your autograph all tour long - 98 percent of them don't give a flying poo about you once next season of Idol starts. In other words, your days of being a star are over. But that's all right - so are mine… The music business, for the most part, will treat you like an outsider… You are just a game show contestant who still needs to prove why you should be here. Move to a music city. L.A., New York or Nashville Leave home and live WAY below your means." — Chris Sligh, former American Idol contestant, to other Idol singers, on his blog. [NY Post]
• "I was never in the high, high fashion industry. I was never one of those superskinny, supertall waif girls who goes from show to show. When you do more commercial things, your weight is allowed to fluctuate a bit. Not every inch counts. It's hard for the girls. How old are they? Fifteen, 16? Some girls are naturally thin and can eat whatever they want. When I was 15, 16, there was not one ounce of fat on me, but some other girls have to work hard to stay like that. But the rules are not made by the models. To be part of this, they have to be the size the designer wants them to be. I'm not that skinny, and I never was, but I can pretty much eat whatever I want." — Heidi Klum. [Page Six Magazine]
• "My dream was always to work in a candy store. It was because of my obsession with candy; I don't have it any more, now that my teeth are all rotten. I did go to a university for a year, as shocking as that might sound to people, and there was a candy shop that I used to go to all the time, an old-fashioned one where all the candy was in these big glass jars. I used to go in there and look at all the candy and think, ‘God, it would be really cool to work in here; I could have candy whenever I wanted.' So I did want the keys to the candy store, but I had different keys." —Madonna. [Times of London]
• "At first, I didn't know whether I'd be healthy enough to film a full season of an action-packed drama series. But soon I realized there was nothing I wanted to do more. We got in touch with the network to let them know about my diagnosis and I sent this message: 'Don't count me out. I can do this.' All I could think was: 'If I'm going out, I'd rather go out on a high note, doing quality work I believe in.'" — From Patrick Swayze's memoir, on doing The Beast with a cancer diagnosis. [Daily Mail]
• "We need to be the example of respect, of tolerance, and just how to be civil, can we do that? Even though I didn't win the crown that night I know that the Lord has so much of a bigger crown in heaven for me. I never asked to be thrown into politics… but you know what, I'm proud of the stance that I took and I'm glad that God upheld me for such a time as this." — Carrie Prejean. [NY Daily News]
• "Forget about playing Tony Blair. When I told her I was definitely playing vampire Aro in Twilight, she cried. She was so overwhelmed and annoyed that I muscled in on something that was hers. She's already told me she'll be my date for the premiere." — Michael Sheen's 10-year-old daughter, Lily is excited about his career for once. [Page Six]

• Someone's been arrested in the Lindsay Lohan home burglary case — and it's not Lindsay Lohan!

Nicholas Prugo, 18, was arrested Thursday in connection with two break-ins: Lindsay's house and Audrina Patridge's house. Dina Lohan says: "Yes, we have found him, God is good." Man, we were sold on that In Touch story alleging that Lindsay robbed herself. [People, TMZ, TMZ]

• Lisa Ling will return to The View as a guest host on October 5. [ONTD]
• Elton John, who was branded "unsuitable" to adopt a Ukranian toddler because he's gay and old, may be able to be the kid's "guardian," which means the mother retains parental rights. The child is not an orphan, though he lives in a children's home; his brother lives there, too. [Daily Mail]
• Michael Jackson's family thinks the This Is It movie is propaganda, to back AEG's claims that he was fit and healthy and ready to tour. [Page Six]
• Sad face: They're calling off the search for Jessica Simpson's dog, last seen in the jaws of a coyote. [TMZ]
• Halle Berry: Not pregnant, just full of burgers. [People]
• Although how Halle Berry could be full of burgers and get in to that dress is a mystery wrapped in an enigma, with special sauce, lettuce and cheese. [Daily Mail]
• BREAKING: Amy Winehouse had a lovely evening out with a "mystery man." [The Star, Mirror]
• Mystery solved: The dude Amy Winehouse was with is former flame Tyler James. A fan asked her for a kiss and she said, "Sorry, I'm with my boyfriend." [Daily Mail]
• While Chris Brown is doing his community service, he has three off-duty cops watching over him as a security team. [TMZ]
• Jennifer Garner is a prankster on movie sets. [Gatecrasher]
• Jennifer Lopez wore a dress by Victoria Beckham to the White House and it was… fitted. [Daily Mail]
• Avril Lavigne's marriage is really over. She posted a message on her blog which reads: "Deryck and I have been together for 6 and a half years. We have been friends since I was 17, started dating when I was 19, and married when I was 21. I am grateful for our time together… I admire Deryck and have a great amount of respect for him. Deryck and I are separating and moving forward on a positive note." [TMZ]
• Kanye West has been invited to the next Friars Club roast. [Page Six]
• Kanye West has been nominated for 9 BET awards. Will he show up? [NY Daily News]
• Kate Gosselin will be shooting the pilot for her new TV show with Paula Deen this weekend. The idea is to have several hosts, like The View, and comedian Sandra Bernhard and Tammy Lynn Michaels have both been considered for the job. [Radar]
• Paula Abdul told a radio DJ that she's going to be producing a show in Las Vegas and is also working on a project with the Laker Girls. [Eva Amurri, strip down for Californication, by all means, click the link. [Daily Mail]
• Samantha Burke, the lady impregnated by Jude Law, is possibly getting £120,000 from a magazine for pictures when the baby is born. [ Daily Mail]
• Someone showed the nuns at Sacred Heart girls school in New York video of Lady Gaga on stage bleeding; she is an alumna of the school. The nuns were not amused. [Page Six]
• Khloe Kardashian and NBA star Lamar Odom: Getting married. They've been "talking about rings." [E!]
• Is Anna Kournikova pregnant? Rumor has it she's carrying the spawn of Enrique Iglesias. [Gatecrasher]
• Ivanka Trump is keeping it classy and not selling wedding pictures, just releasing a single one. [Page Six]
• A man has been arrested for assaulting a security guard who tried to stop him from getting in a car with Ryan Seacrest. [AP]
• Clint Eastwood and Matt Damon just worked together on Invictus, and they will team up again for Hereafter, a thriller from Peter Morgan, who wrote Frost/Nixon and The Queen. [The Hollywood Reporter]
• A journalist asked Spike Lee if Do The Right Thing would get made today. "It would be very hard to make a film like this today," Lee said. "Not because the subject is irrelevant. I don't think the studios would do this. I have to thank Tom Pollock who was running Universal Pictures at the time. He put the weight of the studio behind me for this film and supported me, even when people wanted to waver and divorce themselves from the film." [Independent]
• "Of The Infernal Comedy: Confessions of a Serial Killer, the opera about the prostitute-mauling Jack Unterweger, that opened this year in Vienna and will tour in Europe and Canada next summer, John Malkovich says: 'It's actually a comedy.'" [The Daily Beast]
• Anna Nicole Smith is no longer with us, but she owes the State of California $43,280.66 in back taxes. [TMZ]
• The battle at the box office this weekend will be family-friendly Cloudy With A Chance Of Meatballs versus horror send-up Jennifer's Body versus the crappy-looking Love Happens with Jennifer Aniston and Aaron Eckhart. Odds are, Meatballs will win. [MSNBC Scoop]
• Joe Perry is pissed that Aerosmith had to cancel their summer tour because of Steven Tyler's injuries. "I haven't talked to him in over five weeks. I don't know what's going on with him," Perry says. "All I know is he's got to get his act together. I mean, he and I haven't written a song together alone in the same room in over ten years, so there's been some changes in paradigm of what Aerosmith is." [AP]
• The director of The Cove, an award-winning documentary about Japan's dolphin slaughter, plans to attend a screening at the Tokyo film festival even though he could be arrested. [AP]
• "Miley Cyrus, Kelly Clarkson, Jordin Sparks lack power to carry 'Divas' label at VH1 concert… No matter the age, it seems, all one needs to be a diva in the land of VH1 is to miss a Y chromosome." [NY Daily News]
• RIP Guiding Light. [NY Post]
• Katie "Jordan" Price has been questioned by cops over her claims that she was raped by a celebrity. [Daily Mail, The Sun, The Sun ]
• Blind items! "With their partners away, celebs have been using Fashion Week as an opportunity to play! Which two pop stars made sweet music on Sunday night after the gal gave the guy a private lap dance? Hope his longtime girlfriend doesn't find out ... Which supermodel mended her recently broken heart over the weekend with the very-engaged bassist of a hot rock band?" [Gatecrasher]
• Q: When you auditioned for The Late Late Show, the producers told you that they loved the way you actually held conversations with the guests. A: "Yeah, apparently no one does that anymore. Instead, publicists work out what we'll say and who's gonna ask what. I'll ask you, 'Oh you bought a house?' And you say, 'Yeah I just moved and I got a dog.' And I'll say 'Tell me about the dog, is it named Spunky?' And you'll say 'Yeah, Spunky!' I don't do that." — Craig Ferguson. [Time]
• "It's pretty sad. She should have watched it more closely, though. She should have been more careful." — Martha Stewart, on Jessica Simpson's coyote-snatched dog. [Page Six]
• "Have you been in a Kmart lately? It is not the nicest place to shop." — Martha Stewart, whose products were sold at Kmart but will now be at Macy's and Home Depot. [ONTD via Daily Finance]
• "They took a beautiful man and put poison in his body. Why couldn't they have built him up nutritionally and got ten rid of the toxins? …I hate to be this controversial … but I have to speak out." — Suzanne Somers on Patrick Swayze. [Page Six]
• "I think that the music itself is very, very fun for the most part. I have a few more ballady, emotional songs. But lyrically, it's a little more docile - the music is very fun. I guess it's dance music - it's electro-driven but it's still soft." — Leighton Meester, on her new album. [ONTD]
• "When I read the pilot script, I thought, 'What a fun part this would be to play. How fun would this be?' But then all of these people said, 'It's perfect! You're perfect for it!' [My character] Jeff is a liar and a jerk. What am I supposed to say to that? 'Yeah, I guess so! Awesome!' It really makes me go, 'Wait, what do you mean?'" — Joel McHale on new show Community. [LA Times]
• "It's really, really awkward - any time you do a kissing scene or a love scene it's awkward but especially with this one. Neither one of us wanted to do it and we were both terrified but when you do scenes like that it's not at all sensual or sexy. You're in a room and it's full of these middle-aged crew guys who are like eating their sunflower seeds waiting for you to get it right so they can go home to their kids. They just don't want to be there." — Megan Fox on her kiss with Amanda Seyfried in Jennifer's Body. [Mirror]
• "The Office is not one of those things you move away from. I don't want it to go away." — John Krasinski. [Guardian]

• Katherine Heigl and husband Josh Kelley have completed the adoption of a 10-month-old Korean girl. They named her Nancy Leigh, after Katherine's mother Nancy and sister Margaret Leigh, but she'll go by the nickname Naleigh. [AP]

• Lindsay Lohan Tweeted today: "Hahahaha my publicist just called me & said she heard I was in a psych ward!!!! Hahaha WHAT IS WRONG with people???? I'm working lol," adding, "BUT that's one I've NEVER heard about myself before! New ones r always interesting huh? There's SO much more going on in the world! Wake up." [People]
• Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony were in Washington, D.C. yesterday on his 41st birthday for the Congressional Hispanic Caucas gala. Back stage President Obama led a group of senators and congressmen in singing "Happy Birthday." "I'm telling you, J.Lo, watch out," said the President. [People]
• Martha Stewart says of Jessica Simpson losing her dog Daisy when she was snatched by a coyote, "It's pretty sad... She should have watched it more closely, though. She should have been more careful." Martha says Jess should "Get another dog... I think it's very important to get another dog, someone else to love. You just have to find the dog that's the right match for you." Martha's probably right, but that's some pretty harsh advice, considering Jess is still looking for Daisy. [Us]
• Madonna and Janet Jackson chatted after the VMAs and decided to record a duet as a tribute to Michael Jackson. A source says, "It was a meeting of two great musical minds. Madonna was so impressed with Janet's tribute to Michael that they started talking about how great it would be to honour him by doing something together…There was definitely something very interesting being planned between them." [Ok]
• As Michael Jackson's will is probated, which could take 1 to 2 years, Katherine Jackson will get an allowance of $26,804 a month along with $60,000 for his children. [TMZ]
• Kate Major says, "If I could talk to Kate Gosselin, I would definitely, I think we would have a lot in common and I feel badly for her. I think she's definitely taking the high road in this and I'm sure it's very hard and the last thing I would want is for any of his children to see this, but then again, I'm not the parent." [Star]
• Stephanie Santoro's mom says when her daughter told her she was sleeping with Jon Gosselin, "I said, ‘Stephanie you don't need to get pregnant' and she told me ‘Mom you don't have to worry about that, he told me he after the sextuplets were born he'd had a vasectomy so I didn't need to worry about that.'" [Radar Online]
• Kate Gosselin and Paula Deen will film the pilot for their talk show Mom Logic this weekend. The plan is to have multiple hosts rotate in and Sandra Bernhard and Tammy Lynn Michaels are up for the job. [Radar]
• Avril Lavigne and Deryck Whibley have split up and divorce papers will be filed any day according to a source who adds, "She dumped him and told him she was leaving him. She wants to move on." They have been married for three years. [Extra TV]
• Kanye West has been nominated for 9 BET Hip-Hop Awards. Maybe Taylor Swift should show up to the awards show on October 27. [AP]
• Star has pictures of DJ AM and Paris Hilton hugging at a September 2007 party and later Paris went back to his hotel room with a group of people and spent the night. The mag is excited about the prospect of this re-igniting the Paris-Nicole Richie feud. [Star]
• The "Dancing curse" struck again when Dancing With The Stars contestant Kathy Ireland split the side of her leg open while surfing. Her husband, who is an ER doctor was on duty and stiched her up. She should still be able to compete. [E!]
• In their new Patrick Swayze cover story, Entertainment Weekly quotes him as saying, "No matter what opinion Hollywood has of you, the fans never forget you if you never forget them." [ONTD]
• Lake Lure, North Carolina, where Dirty Dancing was filmed, is holding a memorial service for Patrick Swayze at the housing development where some scenes were shot. [AP]
• Cameron's house from the movie Ferris Bueller's Day Off is on a list of endangered Illinois landmarks. It's on the market for $2.3 million and may be torn down. [Newser]
• Dave Coulier owes about $50,000 in back taxes and the IRS has filed a lien against him. [TMZ]
• Kate Moss is planning to sing at Simon Cowell's birthday party as a surprise (which probably won't be so surprising, considering even we know about it). Kate and Simon ahve been friends for years and she's planning a performance for his 50th birthday party according to a source who says, "It's a toss up between a sexy Marilyn Monroe-style ‘Happy Birthday', or her speciality Lily Allen's 'Not Fair', which she has been practising with her friend Lily." [Ok]
• Sissy Spacek is joining Big Love. She'll play a powerful D.C. lobbyist next season. [L.A. Times]
• A copy of the 1996 magazine in which John Lennon said the Beatles were more popular than Jesus has sold at auction for $12,713. For some reason he signed "John C. Lennon" even though is middle name was Winston. The actual quote was: "Christianity will go. It will vanish and shrink. I needn't argue about that; I'm right and I will be proved right. We're more popular than Jesus now. I don't know which will go first - rock 'n' roll or Christianity." [AP]
• The designers behind Threeasfour say Yoko Ono was the inspiration for their Spring 2010 collection. Yoko says, "My art and their art, it's very similar. Very elitist, in a way. Very interested in making the good work, but the good work, sometimes people love it but it's not very commercial. I think it's interesting that they are doing something commercial now." [Style.com]
• Seth Myers says of writing the Sarah Palin skits for Saturday Night Live last year, "We were a little bit terrified because it was such juicy material we didn't want to let ourselves down by missing on it. We got a fastball last year." He adds, "As a writing staff, we do find it kind of tricky to crack the Obama nut, but I do think we'll get there." [AP]
• Megan Fox on her sexual power over men: "I don't think you ever get comfortable with it...It's a strange, sort of almost supernatural thing." [People]
• Evan Rachel Wood says she doesn't know what's going to happen on the next season of True Blood but, "I am waiting just like everyone else to find out. I have no idea what Alan Ball has up his sleeve for me, but he has assured me that it's all going to make sense eventually, so I'm just waiting to see. But I have heard that she's going to get a little more intense and a little scarier because she is pretty diva-ish and bratty right now; she's definitely going to get more in-depth." [She Wired]
• Chris Meloni says even though Law and Order: SVU's plotlines involve rape and murder, the mood on the set isn't grim. "It's very much akin to the gallows humor that real life homicide detectives resort to. It's a chop-busting extravaganza on set. Among the recurring themes are how often all of us flub our lines and Richard Belzer's inability to hit his mark," he says. [W]
• People interviewed Kermit the Frog about going to the VMAs with Lady Gaga. He said, "Well, I wouldn't really call it a "date" – at least not if I don't want to end up as a coat for Miss Piggy. Y'see, I just gave Lady Gaga a ride to the VMAs, and when Lady Gaga left her credentials in the limo, I had to bring them to her. (On the off-chance security didn't recognize her. Hey, it could happen.) Of course, after Lady Gaga and I were seen on the red carpet together, well … Miss Piggy got a little jealous. But I definitely did get a ride home – in the trunk!" [People]

How many people have watched Dirty Dancing since Patrick Swayze passed away on Monday? The film has a certain fan base made up of women in their 20s and 30s who were enthralled, at a young age, with its salaciousness, and grew up to appreciate the subversive nature of its storyline of a back alley abortion, thus making Dirty Dancing a pop-cultural touchstone for a new generation of feminists who like to like dancing, but also care about injustice and choice.

In the clip below, from the 20th anniversary edition of the Dirty Dancing DVD, Patrick Swayze discusses how the movie inspired his life, and made him appreciate his wife even more. You've got to love that love story.

Related: Dirty Dancing, Feminist Masterpiece [The Guardian]

• Is Jon Gosselin trying to look bad? He's returned the two family dogs to the breeder. "Jon blames Kate for having to give up the dogs," says a source. "Of course, these days Jon blames Kate for just about everything."

• Jon says Kate isn't taking care of them properly, but another source says it was always Jon's responsibility to take care of the dogs. It's more than Kate can handle and he made no arrangements to care for them when he moved to New York. [Radar Online]
• Kate Gosselin said on The View that Jon Gosselin brought Hailey Glassman over to meet their children. Now Jon says, "I've never brought Hailey to meet the kids, nor do I plan on doing that anytime soon." Hailey Tweeted: "I was never at Jon and Katezilla's house nor did I meet the children, And nor am I in a rush to..." [E!]
• Jon Gosselin has been dropped by his divorce lawyer. The divorce was supposed to be finalized next month, but this should delay the process. [My Fox Philly]
• Kate Major says, "I will take a lie detector test and I would love for Jon to take a lie detector test because for him to say there was no romance is a complete lie," adding, "I think I was in lust with him, but no, I didn't love him." [People]
• Stephanie Santoro's mom says Jon Gosselin asked her daughter, "If she would call Hailey and calm Hailey down and tell her that they never had a relationship, that they never went to eat together, that they never did anything together; that all she was, was a friend and a sitter to the children." Stephanie refused. Her mom adds, "He told Stephanie that he cared for Hailey, but he didn't see her as the person he wanted to spend his life with. He didn't see her as a stepmother figure for the children, but he said that he couldn't end it now because there was too much stuff, like the clothing line, that Hailey was involved in. He had to be careful how he handled everything." [Radar Online]
• Chris Brown may have Tweeted toda "on my way to community service...," but the judge who sentenced him actually said he'd be doing, "actual physical labor, as opposed to some type of community service." [TMZ]
• There are pictures of him cleaning up a roadside lot while wearing an orange vest... and a "wife beater". [Radar Online]
• Burt Reynolds has checked into rehab to deal with his addiction to prescription medication. His manager says, "After a recent back surgery, Mr. Reynolds felt like he was going through hell and after a while, realized he was a prisoner of prescription pain pills. He checked himself into rehab in order to regain control of his life. Mr. Reynolds hopes his story will help others in a similar situation. He hopes they will not try to solve the problem by themselves, but realize that sometimes it is too tough to do on their own and they should seek help, as he did." [People]
• An excerpt of Patrick Swayze's upcoming memoir The Time of My Life was released today in which he wrote after he was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer, "I began thinking to myself, I've had more lifetimes than any 10 people put together, and it's been an amazing ride. So this is okay." [Reuters]
• Star claims Jennifer Aniston and Gerard Butler's romance is "for real" because they went on a romantic dinner date, even though sources at the restaurant in question have already said they were out with a group of people and didn't even sit next to each other. [Star]
• Aaron Eckhart says his Love Happens co-star Jennifer Aniston "keeps good people around her. She's interested. She asks questions. She gets outside of herself and lives, I would say at the very least, an interesting life. It's not really always her own. She deals with it very well." [People]
• "This time around, TV feels better, and The Beautiful Life feels like a better fit for me as a television show. It's a much happier experience because I'm older and I can see everything for what it was now. I was 16 when I went to do The O.C., and it was a great experience, it changed my life. It made me famous and everything. But this time around I can actually sit back and enjoy the experience and know what's coming and just have a good time with it. I think it's cool to see the younger cast members enjoying it for the first time." — Mischa Barton [L.A. Times]
• When asked about her recent psychiatric episode Mischa Barton said, "I'm getting sick of answering questions about it. I just had a bad time of year and now it's all over and done with, and I'm just very happy to be feeling happy again and back on top of it and not so worried about everything. It was just too much to handle for me at the time." [N.Y. Observer]
• Matt Damon says George Clooney's girlfriend Elisabetta Canalis is "a really, really wonderful woman... It's nice to see my friend so happy." [People]
• "I would rather have a prostate exam on live television by a guy with very cold hands than have a Facebook page." — George Clooney [People]
• The LAPD is wrapping up their investigation of Michael Jackson's death and sources say it will be presented to the L.A. County District Attorney in three to four weeks. [TMZ]
• Things got uncomfortable on The Jay Leno Show when Jay started asking Tom Cruise and Cameron Diaz about sex. Jay wanted to know if Tom had ever been to a strip club, and Tom replied, "Actually I never have been, ever. Sorry to disappoint you." Diaz added, "It's kind of hard to be Tom Cruise and go to a strip club." Then Jay asked, "I know you're a pilot, what are you better at – flying or sex?" Tom squirmed in his seat and said, "You know what, I don't know... I try to excel in all areas and I've never been asked for a refund, so I don't know." [Daily Mail]
• Guitarist Joe Satriani has dropped his lawsuit against Coldplay for allegedly stealing parts of his songs. It's unclear whether they made a finacial settlement, but Coldplay will not be required to admit they did anything wrong as part of their agreement. [BBC]
• Zachory Loring, the man Audrina Patridge says is stalking her, was arrested yesterday on two outstanding warrants for vandalism and disturbing the peace. His mom was the one who reported him to the police. He's still in jail, and has been served with the restraining order Audrina requested while behind bars. [TMZ]
• Lauren Conrad was excited to guest judge America's Next Top Model because "I don't watch a lot of TV, but it is one of the few shows I watch. I'm such a fan of Tyra. So when they contacted me, I said yes. I knew it would be a great experience. [Working with the Top Model judges] was a treat." [People]
• Kristin Cavallari is denying that she's having a secret relationship with John Mayer. "I literally met John one time for five minutes," she said. "I am single, I'll tell you that. I'm 22. Why have a boyfriend? I'm having fun." [Us]
• Jessica Simpson's dog Daisy is still missing and was last seen in the clutches of a wild coyote. Jessica used a dog-finding service called FindToto.com that called 1000 of her neighbors to ask for tips about the dog, but so far no one has called in about Daisy. [TMZ]
• Paris Hilton has released a very detailed statement, saying that the reason she skipped several nightclub appearances in Germany was that "Miss Hilton's security visited the ‘night club' booked for the appearance and discovered it was a strip club, the venue had been misrepresented to Miss Hilton by the talent promoters. Miss Hilton does not support or endorse strip clubs and this type of establishment." [Perez Hilton]
• Aretha Franklin says of her performance at the Presidential inauguration, "I should have done what some of the other artists did, and that was to pre-record." [WWD]
• Leelee Sobieski and her fiance Adam Kimmel are expecting their first child together in December. [Us]
• Jenna Elfman is expecting her second child with husband Bodhi Elfman. "I have a baby in my tummy – but a real one, not just for my TV show," she said. "My character's pregnant the whole first season [of Accidentally On Purpose], so I said, 'It's a good time to have another baby, because we won't have to hide it.'" [People]
• Elizabeth Taylor keeps a picture of Richard Burton on her nightstand and says they would have married for a third time if he was still alive. "She still says had he lived that they'd be back together once again - that it would have been third time lucky. They were mad about each other," said Burton's niece Sian Owen. "She believes that in the last years in their lives when everything had been toned down with the drinking and everything else, she believes that they'd be together. She's certain of that, they were soul mates." [Daily Mail]
• Tim McGraw says of Kanye West's VMA incident, "He shows himself to be an idiot every time he does stuff like that, [My girls] were upset. But what he did do is provide a great example of how not to be, and my girls learned a big lesson... when they weren't looking I said, 'He needs an a— whoopin'!' [People]
• Though Nas and Kelis are in the midst of a heated financial and custody battle, they appeared together at Russell Simmons gala for Hair Rules salon. [TMZ]
• Cyndi Lauper says she's actually trying to dress less flamboyantly to play a psychic on Bones. "I didn't think I should look like Rhoda from the '70s," she said. [AP]
• Rolling Stones guitarist Ronnie Wood's girlfriend Ekaterina Ivanova threatened, "I'm going to kill myself. You are going to find me dead," after the two had a fight early Monday morning during which the police were called. He reportedly responded "Fuck off home you s***." [What s-word do you think he used?" [Daily Mail]
• Kara DioGuardi is shopping a new reality show called Dropped. She says, "It takes the best acts that have been dropped and gives them a second chance. You look at Katy Perry, the Jonas Brothers, Alicia Keys, and Lady Gaga, they all have one thing in common: They've all been dropped from their labels ... I was dropped. Think about how many times in your life you haven't achieved one goal, but you've achieved another one." [N.Y. Magazine]
• Karissa Shannon, who has moved into Hugh Hefner's room at the Playboy Mansion with her twin Kristina Shannon says, "Our room is pimp. We've got the round spinning bed from Chicago, a kickass big-screen TV and we have the perfect view of all the parties in the backyard. And we're getting a stripper pole in there, too." [E!]
• Kendra Wilkinson's husband, Hank Baskett, was cut from the Philadelphia Eagles to make room for Michael Vick. [People]
• Karina Smirnoff says "It's kind of easy to stay friends," with Maksim Chmerkovskiy even though they've broken up. "We were friends for 14 years, before anything else. It will always remain this way. It's not difficult. We both think the world of each other." [People]
• On The Oprah Winfrey Show yesterday, Whitney Houston's 15-year-old daughter Bobbi Kristina said she wants to pursue a singing career. "I know she hates it, but it's the plan," Bobbi Kristina told Oprah. "It's my plan. Mine. Yeah." [Access Hollywood]
• Patsy Kensit says she won't do anymore nude scenes because it would embarrass her sons, who are 17 and 10. She says, "The only way I'd do it is if nudity was intrinsic to the plot." [Daily Express]
• Michael Palin says Monty Python never would have been made if the BBC's management had meddled as much as they do today. "I think we would be looked at very carefully. There would be much more managerial interference, which there never was," said. "We were allowed to get on with our show once they had agreed it. I just don't think it would be the same nowadays and I think that is regrettable. We are in danger of having to be so accountable to everybody for everything [the BBC] does." [Daily Mail]
• Clive Owen says the recent scripts he's read, "Are not very good. And these are films that are funded and ready-to-go ­expensive movies. You're amazed that people are funding them. I start to think it's me, that I'm being too choosy." [Just Jared]
• Russell Crowe has written an apology to fans after a rugby player and a coach got into a fight at the rugby club Crowe co-owns saying, "I truly know what it is like to have an incident blow up in your face and cause shockwaves through your life. In the past I have put my parents and my wife and my extended family through some terrible times and I'm sorry for every moment of those public floggings that they have received the residual fallout from. 'I'm embarrassed just to type that sentence; some things just don't go away easily. I have learned to own and take responsibility for those times when I haven't been my best.There has been many an opportunity that has left my professional life because of people's perceptions that I am rough around the edges and perhaps unreliable.I work hard on trying to let people know that I am better than the worst of me, it's the only thing I can do." [Daily Mail]
• Beth Ditto got into a fight with Katy Perry earlier this year over the song "I Kissed A Girl," and now Ditto is calling her a "boner dyke." Ditto says, "It's a sensitive subject: we're talking about what's really going on for my people. I don't think people understand how real it is. I had surgery about three years ago. I was in the hospital - in a liberal part of the country - and my family was 3,000 miles away, and (my partner) Freddie was by my side. And Freddie got chased out of the place and treated like shit because she wasn't 'family'. It was so bad that the lady next to me in the hospital room was like, 'I've never seen anyone treated that way in my life'. And I knew it was because I was gay; the rest of my time in there, I was treated like shit. That's something 'lipstick lesbians' will never experience. So yeah, 'I Kissed A Girl' is a funny little song, but now is maybe not the best time for it." [Daily Express]
• Jemaine Clement says there isn't any tension between him and Bret McKenzie because he was nominated for an Emmy but Bret wasn't. "The fact that he is usually voted ‘best looking Conchord' is a far greater source of controversy within the band," he says. "Besides, he was a full-time musician before the show, whereas I was a full-time actor. If he'd been nominated I would have fought him." [N.Y. Times]

• More on this in Midweek Madness, but Lindsay Lohan hit up L.A.'s Crown Bar earlier this month — and took 15-year-old sister Ali with her. A source says:

"They partied until after 1 a.m., and she treated Ali as if she were just one of her friends at the club with her. And Ali was excited to be there." Earlier in the evening, the ladies were elsewhere: "They walked into Teddy's at the Roosevelt Hotel around midnight. Both of them were smoking like chimneys and dancing around." [MSNBC Scoop via Life & Style]

• Samantha Burke is looking to sell exclusive photos when she gives birth to Jude Law's baby. Jude's Hamlet on Broadway opens October 6, the same day little love child Sophia is due. Which tab will pay for an interview and pix? [Page Six]
• Remember how Jude Law pushed a female photographer out of the way as he left a London club in July? 'The Crown Prosecution Service has decided not to take action against him, deciding he had "no intention to assault anyone." [Telegraph]
• Patrick Swayze will be cremated and his ashes will be spread across his New Mexican Rancho de Días Alegres (Ranch of Happy Days), which he called his favorite place in the world. [Newser]
• Dancing With The Stars will honor Patrick Swayze on its September 23 results show. [People]
• PAPYRUS, a suicide prevention group, says that Lady Gaga's performance at the VMAs was "sensationalizing and romanticizing suicide," which is "irresponsible." A commenter named "nick" writes: "erm dude lmao, she didnt pretend to stab herself, paparazzi is about how fame can cause death, shes sending out a message to young people that The Fame is a tough path and not everyone should go down it. Like princess diana died because of fame, jesus you guys just cry about anyone whos doing so amazingly well! GaGa your awesome!" [Pop Crunch]
• Bobby Brown is one of the only "celebrities" in the new Celebrity Fit Club, unless you count Shar Jackson. [TMZ]
• Drew Barrymore had never put on skates before shooting Whip It, but she and her castmates went to a roller-derby boot camp. She says of her decision to direct: "I've been producing for 15 years, and it's all been preparing for the big test. I really care so much about what I do, and I love filmmaking so much. I love every detail and every aspect of it. I think slow and steady wins the race, too. I didn't need to direct when I was 21. I wanted to produce and learn about the filmmaking process and understand every element going into it, so that by the time I did direct, I was as knowledgeable and well-prepared as possible." [AP]
• Serena Williams: Not in danger of losing any of her estimated $12 million in annual endorsement deals after her outburst at the US Open. [AdAge]
• Diddy's cop drama: "It was just a little misunderstanding…miscommunication. Me and the officer, we worked it out… Things were a little aggressive for me, which I'm not really used to." [TMZ]
• Joe Jackson's busty date at the VMAs is a singer he manages, but some people seemed to think it was tacky to bring her to see Janet's tribute to Michael. Like Jennifer Lopez, for instance. [Page Six]
• In this video, Jon Gosselin says that even though Stephanie Santoro's mom claims he once said he threatened suicide and had a sexual relationship with her daughter, it's not true and "people are always trying to make money" off of him. [Radar Online]
• Meanwhile: Kate Gosselin as been asked to appear on The View on Friday, the same day as Kathy Griffin, who recently opened the Creative Arts Emmys in Ed Hardy-wear saying, "I just banged Jon Gosselin." Plus: Kate will get a show called Mom Logic, where she'll work with Southern cook Paula Deen. Their show will have "a mix of advice, health and beauty tips and celebrity gossip geared toward moms and moms-to-be." [Radar]
• Spotted at an NYC gay party: Daniel Craig. [Village Voice]
• Your morning cute: Walker, the new son of Idina Menzel and Taye Diggs.[People]
• BREAKING: Spencer gave Heidi a maltipoo puppy for her birthday. Wait, isn't Jessica Simpson missing a maltipoo? [People]
• Anne Heche and "lazy-ass" ex-husband Coley Laffoon now have a highly paid court-ordered chaperone called a "parenting plan coordinator" who makes $375 an hour to teach them how to make effective parenting decisions. That's good money, but… yikes. [TMZ]
• Cops were called to the home of Rolling Stone guitarist Ronnie Wood after a "domestic disturbance" with 19-year-old girlfriend Ekaterina Ivanova. No arrests were made. [Mirror]
• A photographer to Mickey Rourke at 1:45pm at a fashion week event: "Smile! Why aren't you smiling?" Mickey: "Cause I'm still drunk." He also said: "I'm wearing the same suit I got from a bad movie I did seven years ago. It's still got the stains from a bullet hole. I just put this colorful pocket square in front of the stain so nobody can tell." [Page Six]
• Lost news! Ian Somerhalder, aka Boone, was en route to Hawaii yesterday. He teases: "The only thing I can say is that I'm going back for several episodes….I have a script that weighs like 200 pounds, but I don't really know what's happening." [EW]
• Guys, I never read celebrity litter-ature, but I just might have to get Kelly Osbourne's new book, Fierce. The description reads: "This book isn't just about me, it's about you. So whatever you're worried about, whatever you want to change, and whatever you want to shout about, me and my friends are here to help." [KellyOsbourne.com]
• Jill Scott will star in a Lifetime movie called Sins of the Mother, based on the novel Orange Mint and Honey by Carleen Brice. The plot revolves around a grad student who returns home to face her abusive, alcoholic mother — played by Scott — only to discover that her mom is sober and has a new life. [Variety]
• DVR Alert: George Takei and his husband will appear on the The Newlywed Game! [NY Daily News]
• "Livid Katie Price phones TV show to say she will NEVER name celebrity who raped her." [Daily Mail]
• In a poll, commissioned by UK's Children's Society, 55% of those questioned thought David Beckham was a good role model for kids; two-thirds of adults believe school-age children do not have appropriate role models in their lives. [Telegraph]
• "I had this, without going into detail, this epiphany, this awakening and it both terrified me and compelled me. I felt blessed and cursed in New Orleans and I was afraid to go back to New Orleans. I knew I had to confront my fears and make a movie in New Orleans so I requested we film in New Orleans so I could go through this catharsis. I really didn't know which way it would go. It was either going to be beautiful or a disaster. The first day of filming I couldn't remember my lines but then it began to flow." — Nicolas Cage on new flick Bad Lieutenant: Port Of Call New Orleans. [Mirror]
• Q: You've made over 40 films. Have your ideas about beauty changed as you've gotten older? A: I've just rewatched Paris, the new film I did that's coming out in America-and it talks about that. Because my character is 40 years old with three children and she feels like her love life is over. And actually her brother, who's very sick, gives her another view of her life by saying, "Go for it. You're lucky to be alive and healthy." So it's not about age. I believe that-that's why I started to dance at age 43 and why I'm doing other things. — Juliette Binoche. Click the link to see Juliette's paintings and an image from her dance performance. [W]  
• "I'm from Illinois, she was from Wisconsin, and I could understand a midwestern quality about her. She knew what she wanted to do: At 8 years old she was playing with her friend and asked her, 'What are you going to do when you grow up?' 'I don't know.' 'Well, I'm gonna be a painter.' At 8 years old, I was, 'I'm gonna be an actor.' So I could see that we shared a kind of focus." — Joan Allen on playing Georgia O'Keeffe in a new Lifetime movie. [AP]
• "I have no desire to have children. People keep saying that it'll change. I'm like, 'No, it's not going to change.' I think it would be really selfish to have a child right now. I'm never home. People don't always think about the quality of life when they're having a child. I love children but I have no desire to have my own child. I'm too nervous to procreate my own genes." — Chelsea Handler. [Telegraph]
• "Sue Sylvester can be a very dark person, and she has joy in her darkness. She loves showing people how cruel she can be. If it didn't live in me, I couldn't do it! In the pilot, when they're introducing my character, Matthew Morrison in the voice-over says, 'She may or may not have posed for Penthouse.' And I thought, 'Oh, OK. I want to play this part! Penthouse?' Plus, she is so cold and ruthless, and I thought this was a nice, extreme character and I wanted to play her." — Jane Lynch on her character in Glee. [USA Today]
• "I feel like (my private life is) no one's business. I don't know about your life. I don't want to, truthfully. It's not my business. It's a very strange thing. But somehow it's like there was some clause somewhere that said, ‘Well, you're a public person so we get to go into your house and search through your drawers.' I don't know who came up with it because I wouldn't have signed on. I don't think anybody would have… It's embarrassing that people are focused so much and putting so much money into gossip magazines to escape. The paparazzi and the magazines deserve their share of the blame, but they're just supplying a demand. It's unfortunate that people don't care that they've been lied to, they don't care that they're being sort of messed with and not given the full truth. They buy them anyway." — Jennifer Aniston. [MSNBC via Parade]
• "I'd rather have a rectal examination on live TV by a fellow with cold hands than have a Facebook page" — George Clooney. [Page Six]
• "My temper is ridiculously bad. I've had to say to Brian, 'You have to go and stop talking to me, because I'm going to kill you. I'm going to stab you with something, please leave.' I'd never own a gun for that reason. I wouldn't shoot to kill. But I would shoot him in the leg, for sure." — Megan Fox to Rolling Stone. [Page Six]

This combination of hard and soft — vulnerable and tough — seems to sum up Patrick Swayze as a person, and as an actor. His dad was a rodeo cowboy; his mom was a dance instructor, and his roles — from Roadhouse to The Outsiders to Dirty Dancing to Ghost and Point Break — always seemed to highlight the two sides of his spirit; the rough-around-the-edges dude with a heart of gold. (Jennifer Grey called him a "real cowboy with a tender heart.")

When it came to living with cancer, Swayze told Barbara Walters during a televised interview that he wasn't interested in pursuing experimental treatments. He thought if he were to "spend so much time chasing staying alive," he wouldn't be able to enjoy the time he had left. "I want to live," he said.

In 1985, Swayze starred in the TV miniseries North And South, playing a conflicted Southern soldier. According to the New York Times, he talked to the Associated Press about his character, saying: "People don't identify with victims. They identify with people who have the world come down on their heads and who fight to survive."

More memories of Patrick Swayze below.

Patrick Swayze, Star of ‘Dirty Dancing,' Dies at 57 [NY Times]
Jennifer Grey: I Remember Being in Patrick Swayze's Arms [People]

• Whoopi Goldberg on Patrick Swayze:

"Patrick was a really good man, a funny man and one to whom I owe much that I can't ever repay. I believe in Ghost's message, so he'll always be near." [Extra]

• Jennifer Grey on Patrick Swayze: "When I think of him, I think of being in his arms when we were kids, dancing, practicing the lift in the freezing lake, having a blast doing this tiny little movie we thought no one would ever see. [He was] a real cowboy with a tender heart. It was not surprising to me that the war he waged on his cancer was so courageous and dignified." [People]
• Dirty Dancing's choreographer, Kenny Ortega on Patrick Swayze: "The planet has lost a big heart. And I, a forever friend." [People]
• Twitter tributes to Patrick Swayze here. [NY Daily News]
• Kanye West got a talking-to from Taylor Swift's mom backstage at the VMA awards; a source says she "tore into" him after he interrupted Taylor's speech. Additionally, it was Beyoncé's dad, Matthew Knowles, who arranged the moment in which Beyoncé gave Taylor another moment in the spotlight. [People]
• Here a source claims that the Beyoncé/Taylor Swift moment "was all Beyonce's idea. Kanye embarrassed her by bringing her name into it. She wanted to make it right." [MSNBC Scoop]
• 50 Cent on Kanye West's outburst: "We know Beyoncé's great. Nobody's confused in that area…" Fiddy also says: "I wish he would come take one of my awards so I could black his eye in front of everybody." [ONTD via Much Music]
• Did President Obama call Kanye West a jackass? All signs point to yes, but "off the record." [Politico]
• Anna Wintour went to the US Open and left with a tennis ball in her purse! [Page Six]
• Diddy caused a ruckus at post by standing in the street after a VMA party. [Gatecrasher]
• In this video, Michael Jackson admits that he was on pain medication and spent A LOT of time under the influence of prescription drugs in 2003. [The Sun]
• Russell Brand and Katy Perry made out. Pass it on. [Page Six]
• Kim Cattrall spills about Sex And The City Deux: "Expect lots of fun," she says. And: "It was so much fun to relive the wild and crazy fashions of the '80s. I absolutely loved the four different looks of all of us. We were all so uniquely different that we all couldn't stop admiring our different looks. There was lots of laughing, and it was a blast! Working with the three women is so easy. I mean seven years of doing the series and the first movie and now two years later being back feels like being home. It's so much fun. There is a saying that you can't go home again but on Sex and the City, you can." [People]
• This report says that Sex And The City 2 will see Carrie pregnant; a commenter snipes: "Isn't she like 123 years old by now? And Big should be reaching 156. Why would they have a baby? I hope this isn't the case." [Gatecrasher]
• LOL: Jon Gosselin was overheard saying "please write something nice about me" at an In Touch party. [MSNBC Scoop]
• Mr. Big, aka Chris Noth, is engaged, and it's not to Carrie: Noth has proposed to partner Tara Lynn Wilson, with whom he has a 19-month-old son. [Ok!]
• If you missed Lady Gaga and date Kermit the Frog on the red carpet at the MTV Awards, there's video here. [MTV]
• Kelly Osbourne's dropped about 14 lbs. in just three weeks, thanks to insane training for Dancing With The Stars. She says: "It's so amazing, I've tried so many stupid fad diets to try to lose weight, when all I needed to do was start dancing." And: "‘I'm actually really small, I just photograph fat." [Daily Mail]
• Colin Farrell says he's psyched to have a new kid on the way: "I'm very excited man! Very! There is nothing more exciting really." [People]
• Ricky Gervais has a crush on Rob Lowe. [Mirror]
• Brittany "Bre" Scullark from America's Next Top Model was arrested in New York on Monday for picking up some woman's laptop at a Starbucks — thinking it belonged to a family member — and then cursing out the woman. [TMZ]
• "Jessica Simpson sees dog snatched by coyote and appeals for its return on Twitter (does she think the offending beast can read?)" [Daily Mail]
• Sean Penn and hot model Jessica White: Still on. [Page Six]
• The Seinfeld reunion is really an "anti-reunion." [Reuters]
• Kim Kardashian will appear on the new Fox sitcom Brothers, opposite Michael Strahan and Daryl "Chill" Mitchell. "Even though I'm playing myself, you kind of have to play it up a little bit," Kim says. "I always get a little bit nervous because I am new to acting and I respect it so much, so I just want to do it justice." But, um, you're playing yourself. [People]
• The scene: A VMA party. Champagne! Celebrities! Stephanie Pratt's credit card: declined. [Page Six]
• A New York theater doing The Piven Monologues, comic look at the star's case of mercury poisoning, has received a cease and desist letter from Jeremy Piven. [Page Six]
• Jane Fonda has penned a HuffPo essay about her letter protesting the Toronto International Film Festival's decision to showcase and celebrate Tel Aviv. She writes: "As I said in my recent blog, the greatest "re-branding" of Israel would be to celebrate that country's long standing, courageous and robust peace movement by helping to end the blockade of Gaza through negotiations with all parties to the conflict, and by stopping the expansion of West Bank settlements. That's the way to show Israel's commitment to peace, not a PR campaign." [Huffington Post]
• "It's the last leg of Eddie Izzard's 43 marathons in 51 days. How did the less than athletic comic pull off such a feat of endurance?" [BBC News]
• Home Depot will start selling Martha Stewart stuff in 2010, when her deal with K-Mart ends. [Reuters]
• The late Bea Arthur was remembered at Broadway's Majestic Theatre on Monday. [NY Post, People]
• At the Bea Arthur memorial, Rue McClanahan told a touching story in which Bea said: "Rue, I love. Betty White's a cunt." [Page Six]
• "A famous celebrity raped me and Peter knows who it was. It was years ago before I was with Pete, and my friends and family knew about it at the time." — Katie "Jordan" Price. [Daily Mail]
• "I think music piracy is having a dangerous effect on British music, but some really rich and successful artists like Nick Mason from Pink Floyd and Ed O'Brien from Radiohead don't seem to think so. These guys from huge bands said file sharing music is fine. It probably is fine for them. They do sell out arena tours and have the biggest Ferrari collections in the world. For new talent though, file sharing is a disaster as it's making it harder and harder for new acts to emerge. I don't think what's out there is perfect. It's stupid that kids can't buy anything on the internet without credit, forcing them to steal Mum's credit card or download illegally." — Lily Allen. [Telegraph]
• "No one was injured. In fact, the only one who seemed irritated by the whole affair was a tiny Jewish woman who kept saying, 'I don't care who is in the limo. I have somewhere to be!'" — Joan Rivers, whose limo sideswiped a bus yesterday. [Page Six]
• "I hate when celebrities make a big deal of themselves. When I talk to Diddy, I'm just like ‘Hey Sean, no big deal.'" — Jon Gosselin. [MSNBC Scoop]
• "He slapped me once but he got hit on the head three times by me… [I] was horrified he spit on me, in my face." — Whitney Houston, on Bobby Brown. [NY Daily News]

• While performing stand-up in New York on August 5, Rosie O'Donnell started talking about her stint on The View, which she referred to as The Screw You, and called Elisabeth Hasselbeck "Elisabeth Half-a-brain." But Rosie wasn't done!

• An audience member says, "Rosie said when she first met Elisabeth, she thought she would love her, because they're both Christians... Then she stopped and said, 'But then she turned on me.' Then Rosie called her a 'twat.' O'Donnell then moved on to a different subject, saying she really didn't want to start a new feud, or restart an old one." Too late Rosie! [Fox News]
• Jon and Kate Gosselin's divorce will be finalized by the end of the month. Also Hailey Glassman has agreed to do an interview with E!'s Giuliana Rancic on August 17 in a one-hour special at 7pm ET. She's going to stay away from the kids until the divorce is official, but then all bets are off. [Radar Online, Ok]
• This week's episode of Jon and Kate Plus 8 had only 3.5 million viewers, down 4 million from the week before. [Us]
• Let's hope no one gets in Taylor Lautner's way! "I love that kid," says Kristen Stewart. "I would do anything for him. I would kill for him, literally." [People]
• Though it was reported that Jennie Garth, who is married to Twilight's Peter Facinelli said Robert Pattinson was either dating Kristen Stewart or Nikki Reed, rep says she actually said, "I can't say [who Rob's dating]. That will be breaking my promise to my husband. But I do know." [Radar Online]
• This morning on Today, Brad Pitt says he's seen the "Brad Pitt for mayor" shirts many New Orleans resident have been wearing, but he's not considering a run because, "I don't have a chance." [AP]
• Three sources say Dr. Conrad Murray left Michael Jackson alone after giving him propofol to make phone calls on the morning he died. He'd left him alone after giving him the drug before, but not monitoring MJ may legally meet the level of negligence required for an involuntary manslaughter charge. [L.A. Times]
• Michael Jackson and a man named Henry Vaccaro had been fighting over some of MJ's memorabilia, including 26 unreleased songs for years. When two of Jackson's lawyers went to retrieve eight of the items last month Vaccaro said they were missing, but the items were later auctioned off. Police are investigating. [TMZ]
• Motown founder Berry Gordon will write the introduction to the rerelease of Michael Jackson's memoir Moonwalk. [AP]
• Though Amy Winehouse was previously banned from entering the U.S. she still wants to do a tour and her spokesperson said that now, "There is nothing to stop her getting a visa to travel to America." [Contact Music]
• Patrick Swayze was recently hospitalized for a week, possibly because of intestinal bleeding, but he's home now. [Radar Online]
• Madonna is renovating her recently purchased New York townhouse and now huge dumpsters are blocking the entire road. [The Sun]
• If Philadelphia school officials approve, Tony Danza may co-teach 10th grade English at Northeast High School this fall for a reality TV show called Teach on A&E. [AP]
• Billy Mays' health insurance commercial for the iCAN benefit group has been pulled from the air. [TMZ]
• Kourtney Kardashian has revealed that boyfriend Scott Disick is the father of her child. As for how she could have gotten pregnant she said, "There's so many times I'll forget to take my pill. I've done that several times and never really thought about it…I know, it's stupid." When she told Disick, "He was like way more like excited than I was. Like he definitely wasn't as nervous and scared." But she's not sure if they'll get married. She says, "We've talked about it, but I feel like there's so much going on that I like can't even go there." [E!]
• Kourtney's mom Kris Jenner says, "I am beyond thrilled and excited and cannot wait to meet my new grandchild! We are truly blessed." [People]
• Sky Blu of the hip-hop group LMFAO has a crush on Khloe Kardashian. [E!]
• Though she initially didn't show much interest in Beatles Rock Band, which will be released in September, Yoko Oko visited Harmonix studios in Boston a few months ago. "She gave the designers hell," said a VP at the company. "We were like, ‘Oh, gee. Thanks'. It would have been nice to know that six months ago, but yes, ‘Thank you very much'." [Mirror]
• Karl Rove and Rush Limbaugh are going to guest star in an upcoming episode of Family Guy in which Brian becomes a Republican because he's upset he has nothing to complain about anymore with Barack Obama in the White House. [Politico]
• Toby Keith's new song and music video American Ride may become the theme for town hallers. It makes fun of global warming, terrorists, and illegal immigrants, and the video shows "President Bush in front of the White House giving Christian-right leader Pat Robertson a piggyback ride. Another shows bankers hoisting President Obama in a walk through a destroyed Wall Street district as dollars fall from the sky." Check it out here: [U.S. News & World Report]
• The Miss Universe Organization has releasing topless photos of outgoing Miss Universe, Dayana Mendoza of Venezuela, to Maxim for the September issue. While previously similar organizations have always condemned contestants for releasing such pictures (Mendoza's arm covers her breasts), a pageant official said, "She just loved the way they turned out and she really wanted to be able to share them. If she had taken these photos and sent them to a magazine, that would be a different issue. But she handled this so appropriately. She came to us and said, ‘I understand I'm Miss Universe and I have this title, but as Dayana Mendoza, I'd like to share these photos.'" [MSNBC]
• Jerry O'Connell has enrolled at Los Angeles' Southwestern Law School. When his wife Rebecca Romijn was asked why he enrolled there she said he was, "very impressed with the faculty and the vibe here. This is brand new to him as well. He's very much looking forward to his education." [Us]
• In the video at the link Jessica Capshaw of Grey's Anatomy explains that the next season will be "heavy." [E!]
• Reese Witherspoon, who is filming the baseball movie How Do You Know has just recovered from getting a black eye a few weeks ago, and now she has another one. [Daily Express]
• Abbie Cornish, who was accuse of breaking up Reese Witherspoon and Ryan Philippe's relationship says, "It was a really difficult time for me... It was just this world of tabloid magazines that I'd never been exposed to. In a normal successful career, someone usually learns these things bit by bit. For me, it was like night and day. I woke up one day and there was this whole new thing I had to process and deal with." [W]
• Mike Tyson has given his first interview since the accidental death of his 4-year-old daughter Exodus. "I am working with dealing with it," he says. "I have spoken to a lot of people. I have become a member of an exclusive club no one wants to join. I have been told the pain never stops but you get over it. I am going through a process, trying to heal. I am in denial, because I don't know how to handle it. I don't know what to do or say. I appreciate everybody who supported me." [Entertainment Tonight]
• Victoria Beckman's rep says, "there are no talks of her being a permanent judge [on American Idol]. They felt she was natural in Denver. [But] she has Fashion Week coming up, and she is focusing on that." [L.A. Times]
• Lily Allen has but a Breitling watch she bough for herself that's too big up for sale on Twitter for £3,200. [Daily Mail]
• Here's a picture of Katie Price's new boyfriend, Alex Reid, hanging out with Katie and Peter Andre's son. Both are topless for some reason. [Daily Mail]
• "I love England. It would be a wonderful life experience to have an excuse to work here for six or nine months..." says Quentin Tarantino. "I am a huge fan of Simon Pegg, so I would definitely love to work with him. I also think Kate Winslet is one of the best actresses that ever lived, so I would be honoured to work with her. I am also a huge admirer of Anthony Hopkins. I would also love to work with Michael Caine. I can see them appearing in my movies, it just has to be right." [Daily Express]
• Q: How does it feel to be the face of Twitter. Ashton Kutcher: "It feels like I should own some of it but unfortunately I don't. However one person does not make a community." [Time]
• Q: Does it bother you to be called Mr. Demi Moore? Ashton Kutcher: No. Why would it? People have called me much worse. [Time]
• Rachel McAdams says of playing a mother for the first time, "I was excited and nervous about it because I haven't done it before. It was a welcome challenge. The little girls [Hailey McCann and Tatum McCann] in this film were so fantastic. They are real sisters and they made my job really easy. So I didn't have to work too hard at that." [People]
• "I think Pete's really honest, and there's something to be said for that, on this show. He's honest even when it works against him. He can't help himself. He has to say the blatant thing. He's like that guy who meets someone and says, "Oh wow, you have a mole on your nose!" I like people like that. They're not ashamed to go up to a guy and be like, 'Hey, how'd you lose your arms?' Like, 'Come on, everyone else is wondering, I had to ask!' But then, the guy without the arms is probably so sick of answering that question! ... He's no Don Draper. Like you said, he's the biggest rube in the room. And he's the biggest buffoon in the room." — Vincent Kartheiser of Mad Men [Salon]

• Rihanna will appear on the September 14 launch of The Jay Leno Show — her first performance since being assaulted by Chris Brown in February. But she won't be alone:

She's performing "Run This Town" with Jay-Z and Kanye West, which is a track from Jay-Z's new album. [People]

• Matthew Broderick: "I am truly shocked and saddened by the news about my old friend John Hughes. He was a wonderful, very talented guy and my heart goes out to his family." [E!]
• Molly Ringwald: "I was stunned and incredibly sad to hear about the death of John Hughes. He was and will always be such an important part of my life. He will be missed — by me and by everyone that he has touched. My heart and all my thoughts are with his family now." [ET, People]
• Jon Cryer, aka Duckie from Pretty In Pink, on the death of John Hughes: "This is a horrible tragedy. He was an amazing man to work for and with. He respected young actors in a way that made you realize you had to step up your game because you were playing in the big leagues now. That's why he got such great performances out of his actors. My heart goes out to his wife Nancy and their children." [ET]
• Old habits die hard: Amy Winehouse "is still clearly emotional, and seems to suck her thumb when times are bad." Yes, there are pictures. [Daily Mail]
• Paula Abdul may make a deal with American Idol — if they give her what she wants, which is $10 million a year. [TMZ]
• Meanwhile, Paula says: "At this point, there are so many wonderful things that are being offered to me. And I got to take a deep breath, sleep a little ... and go through everything." [AP]
• Um, Constantine Maroulis got his ass kicked trying to defend Paula Abdul's honor or something. [Gatecrasher]
• Blech: Heidi Montag is oompa-loompa orange on her Playboy cover, and covered in dirt. [Perez]
• Hotter than Heidi is 51-year-old Sharon Stone, topless in Paris Match. In the immortal words of Cassie: Stop acting like you haven't seen a titty before. [TheLifeFiles]
• "Jon Gosselin's guide to being a lothario: manipulation and neediness." LOL. A psychotherapist says: "He's picking up a lot of women who are trying to rescue him… Jon's not the faithful type. Men like him are very good at connecting with women, and the woman starts to feel as if he is there for her. But he's just there to boost his own ego." [NY Daily News]
• Despite what was reported in the Post yesterday, Kristin Davis denies that she cut ties as a goodwill ambassador for the human rights group Oxfam. [NY Daily News]
• Paris Hilton and Doug Reinhardt are back together, and were seen on an Air Pacific Flight to Red Bull Island. Yes, Red Bull Island. Not a joke. Can't wait to see them do this again. [Page Six]
• If you have tickets for Madonna's concert in Ljubljana, Slovenia, you are one of a select few: The show's been canceled, and poor ticket sales are reportedly the reason. Although her peeps say "unforeseen logistical difficulties" are the reason. [Reuters]
• From a profile on Charlene Yi: "Ms. Yi walked the short red carpet in wet brown suede shoes and a red cardigan sweater. After posing for pictures, she picked up the olive-drab Army backpack she had left with a publicist after posing for pictures. Ms. Yi told reporters that she had never dated Michael Cera. 'Gossipers!' she yelped. 'You are all gossipers!' Well, why did she pick him to play her onscreen boyfriend in the first place? 'Martin Lawrence passed,' she quipped. Touché!" [Observer]
• Charlene Yi says of Michael Cera: "We were never together. If we were, I'd like to know when that was. And thank God, because it would be devastating to promote this film if I was heartbroken." [The Daily Beast]
• Bethenny Frankel is trying to get pregnant. [Page Six]
• Leonardo DiCaprio: Spotted hanging out with Sports Illustrated swimsuit model, Anne Vyalitsyna. [Page Six]
• Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore were flying to New York when their plane had to make an emergency landing in Las Vegas after the engine overheated. No one was injured, and both actors Tweeted about their experience, because if you don't put it on Twitter, it never happened, right? [People]
• Jermaine Jackson is "cashing in" on Michael Jackson's death by releasing a recording of "Smile," the song he performed at the memorial. Plus, he's working on a series of tribute concerts. [MSNBC Scoop]
• Jermaine says: "In his death, I have found a mission for my life. My existence is now dedicated to spreading Michael's message." [Mirror]
• "Michael Jackson was scheduled to undergo a second physical by an insurance company doctor at the time of his death." [LA Times]
• David Letterman has beat Conan O'Brien in ratings for the fourth week in a row. i'll admit it: I'm on team Dave. [NY Daily News]
• Nora Ephron writes "In Defense of Ryan O'Neal": "Ryan O'Neal had not seen his daughter Tatum in years. He thought she was a Swedish person. I completely understand. The truth is that had I been gay, I might have accidentally made a pass at my own sister in a mall in Las Vegas. So who's to judge? Not me." [HuffPo]
• Queen Latifah and five ladyfriends hit a lesbian party in NYC on Wednesday, and this is news. [Page Six]
• The woman suing Morgan Freeman for flipping her car will have her day in court next year. [USA Today]
• This report claims that Patrick Swayze's fuller face and full head of hair prove that his battle with cancer is going well, even though he is still smoking. [NY Daily News]
• Congrats to SNL's Bill Hader, who will be a dad; his wife is pregnant. [People]
• Aerosmith concerts are postponed while Steven Tyler recovers from falling off of the stage. [USA Today]
• "I had to turn him down. I really hated the idea of Channing Tatum. I told di Bonaventura that this is not the guy to play one of the most feared killers of the 20th Century. I think Mickey Rourke would really be good. He's got that sense of danger, and there's a similarity between the two. But it's not Channing Tatum." — Phil Carlo, who wrote The Ice Man: Confessions of a Mafia Contract Killer. [Page Six]
• "To me, the idea of being an actor and being stuck in Los Angeles — a city that's totally based on one job — is so uninspiring. New York completely fulfills every need I have on a daily basis. I'm madly in love with this city." — Josh Lucas. [Page Six]
• "Resident Evil started out as this fun project. I went in for it as a joke. 'Sure, I'll go make an action movie,' I thought, 'This'll be cool, because my brother loves the video game so much.' It's turned into a steady job. See? [making a fist] The knuckles? They're all cut up. They used to be really soft, but they can't use them any more [in L'Oreal ads]. They use someone else's." — Milla Jovovich. [Guardian]
• "My mom [Bebe Buell] and gran were models and took such good care of their skin I couldn't help but learn. My dad is also full of great beauty advice, like wear your perfume in your belly button and on the soles of your feet so it becomes part of you." — Liv Tyler, to Elle. [Daily Express]
• "I'm always shocked that there's an interesting, full-fledged, ambitiously wrought role for somebody like me, that somebody's willing to put in a movie, it's unusual, that's what I mean by shocked. I'm not shocked because … 'Gosh, me? How do I know how to act?' [Laughs] But there's so many unbelievably talented, richly talented women and men that are older, that just don't get a chance." — Meryl Streep. [Salon]
• "I have this phobia of becoming someone's 'girlfriend.' I have guy friends who have been dating a girl for six months and our other friends don't know her name. They just ask, 'Hey, where's your girlfriend?' And I want to scream, 'OK, her name is Sally, and she's awesome, and you've known her for months. Where did her identity go?'" — Charlene Yi. [The Daily Beast]