• The LAPD has arrested four women in connection with break-ins at Lindsay Lohan and Audrina Patridge's homes.

One of the women, 19-year-old Rachel J. Lee, may also be involved in last year's jewelry heist at Paris Hilton's house, and her team may have also targeted Orlando Bloom. Teen cat burglars? I smell a screenplay! [People, TMZ, TMZ]

• Meanwhile, Lindsay says it's okay for her 15-year-old sister to party because "She's tougher than I am." And: "She has a good head on her shoulders. Maybe it was different for me because I didn't know what to expect and it just happened really fast. I didn't have a big sister." [E!]
• A club that had banned Lindsay Lohan has allowed her back in. [Page Six]
• Word is Rosie O'Donnell's marriage is over for good and Kelli Carpenter actually moved out months ago. [Radar Online]
• Someone dared David Cross to snort coke at the White House Correspondents' Dinner (which was not held in the White House) so he did. "Maybe 40 feet from the president of the United States!" [Newser]
• The United States has officially asked Switzerland to hand over Roman Polanski to authorities in California. [AP]
• Katherine Jackson has changed lawyers in the Michael Jackson estate case. [USA Today]
• Kenny Ortega, the choreographer working with Michael Jackson on the This Is It tour, says he wanted MJ healthy: "Michael had sleepless nights and we had to look after him. [I'd say to him], 'Stay hydrated, have a protein shake - Did you eat today before you came?'" But Ortega doesn't believe rehearsals were wearing MJ down: "Working on this show was invigorating, was nourishing." [AP]
• Alex Rodriguez dabbled in Kabbalah when he was dating Madonna and now he's getting into Buddhism, thanks to Kate Hudson. [Gatecrasher]
• A source close to Balloon Mom Mayumi Heene says she is "totally subservient to Richard and the boys. Whatever they want, they get" And that Mayumi will "go down with the ship." [NY Daily News]
• A pharmacist testified in the Anna Nicole Smith case, saying that when he received a request for drugs from her doctor, he said: "This is crazy. This is pharmaceutical suicide. The dosages are way out of whack." And: "I said I wouldn't fill it, and no pharmacy in California would." [NY Daily News]
• Awesome: Jay-Z and Will Smith are backing Fela!. [NY Post]
• Matt Damon is dealing with a "serious" family emergency. Stay tuned. [E!]
• Denis Leary and his wife Ann have a house in the country with three dogs and two horses; they're profiled in the Times today and also, Ann blogs about their picturesque rural life. [NY Times]
• Pamela Anderson is living in a trailer because construction on her house in Malibu is not going as planned. She says: "I am $3million over budget and I should have moved in over a year ago. I'm tiling the whole pool in platinum - that's expensive!" She also claims: "I'm going to sell [the house]. I hate it. People commit suicide over constructions. Relationships break down over constructions and I can see why. It rips your heart out." [Daily Mail]
• Oliver Stone is using "his uptown friends" as extras in Wall Street 2. Authentic! [Page Six]
• At the link, the amazing Mira Nair — who directed Mississippi Masala, Monsoon Wedding, The Namesake and Reese Witherspoon's VanityFair, talks about her latest, Amelia: "So much about Amelia [Earhart] is so undeniably modern. If she were to walk into a room today in her jodhpurs and her aviation jackets, [with] her ideas about marriage or men and women, she would still be considered an iconoclast." [NPR]
• Is there a backlash against Precious? And is Oprah to blame? [LA Times]
• Vanessa Redgrave is doing a one-night-only performance of The Year Of Magical Thinking — which is based loosely on the Joan Didion memoir and about dealing with unexpected death — mere months after Redgrave's daughter Natasha Richardson died. [WSJ]
• In this video, Tom Green and Tony Hawk have lunch and Tom talks shit about his ex-wife, Drew Barrymore: He has opinions about her photoshoot with Ellen Page and her behavior during their marriage. [Shred Or Die]
• "Magic Johnson blames former friend Isiah Thomas for spreading rumors that Johnson was gay after he announced he had HIV in 1991." [Newser]
• Bronson Pinchot made some… intense statements about Tom Cruise's homophobia and Denzel Washington's unpleasant character, and at the link, he clarifies. [WSJ]
• Earlier this year, Spike Lee slammed Tyler Perry's sitcoms, saying, "I think there's a lot of stuff out today that is coonery and buffoonery. I'm scratching my head. We've got a black president. Are we going back?" Now Perry say: "You know, that pisses me off. It really does. Because it's so insulting. It's attitudes like that that make Hollywood think that these people do not exist and that's why there's no material speaking to them. I would love to read that to my fan base." [CBS News]
• RIP Soupy Sales. [Reuters, CNN]
• "If you took the top five of my CDs and just put 'em away and then you have children, 10 years later, you break these out and put 'em on… you'll be laughing. And your kids will be laughing. ou put The Cosby Show on - there won't be any cellphones and people might be wearing funny sweaters - but that same human behavior will still connect with people." — Bill Cosby, who will received the Mark Twain Prize for American Humor on Monday, and believes good comedy has no shelf life. He also says he doesn't watch TV anymore: "I'm not thrilled with the deliberate onslaught of the public by the major networks in terms of the sitcoms. They still don't get it about race. They still don't get it about gender. Jokes are still about jerks and body parts and sex." [USA Today]
• "I think women really responded to that initially." — Patricia Arquette, on what this column calls her "more womanly, post-childbirth frame" on Medium. She also says: "They'll bring me new outfits, and I'm like, 'No, I need to repeat those pajamas again. And again.'" And! "I'm not one for spending a lot of money on this show, but these people need a new comforter!" [Variety]
• "I cook OK — I cook every night, so every night is not great. I am really not that adept a cook as [Julia Child] was, especially with that rapid-fire knife. If I did that in my kitchen everybody would run because there would be a lot of blood probably." — Meryl Streep. [Mirror]
• "It depends on the kid.  There are parts of it that are pretty intense. When I was 7 years old, I could not have seen this movie.  It would've scared me.  But my younger brother, who's now 7, could've seen this a year ago.  It depends on the kid." — Max Records, who plays Max in Where The Wild Things Are, on whether the film is too scary for young children. [LA Times]
• "Motherfucker took me out of the ghetto. That's my dude, man. He's been like a dad to me. I remember when I was on Saturday Night Live my first year and I wasn't getting much. I was down; I was ready to quit. It was three o'clock in the morning, man, I'll never forget. Makes me want to cry sometimes when I think about it. I love that man. I love that man. [long pause; starts to cry] I'm sorry, man. Excuse me. [another long pause] Son of a bitch… motherfucker's good. I remember one time Lorne took me to his office, and he said, 'Tracy, you are here not because you're black. You're here because you're fucking funny, man.' [bursts into tears again; wipes face with shirt] Changed my whole perspective.... They say every Jewish man is supposed to love one black motherfucker in this life. I'm glad Lorne Michaels chose me." — Tracy Morgan hearts Lorne Michaels. [Playboy via NY Mgaazine]

• Gerard Butler is not, repeat, not dating Jennifer Aniston.

"I love her to death," he says. "She's the coolest and she's become a great friend, but there's nothing going on. And if there was, I'd be happy to say it!" Next week's tabloids covers: JEN'S HEARTBREAK! REJECTED BY GERARD! [E!]

• Starbucks barista to Nicole Kidman: "You know who you look like — that lady who used to be married to Tom Cruise. What's her name?" [Page Six]
• Randy and Evi Quaid were arrested yesterday, but they posted bail last night after the Presidio County Sheriff was kind enough to drive them to an ATM. Apparently law enforcement sources believe Randy and Evi have a pattern of staying in pricey hotels and not paying when they leave. [TMZ]
• Jude Law is the biological father of a newborn child, but he has told his one night stand Samantha Burke that he will not see their daughter for three months. He needs to finish Hamlet on Broadway first. [Telegraph, Telegraph]
• Bruce Willis doesn't like Facebook: "It's frightening, I think it's like the fall of Rome. Three years from now, after all the bees are dead..." [Mirror]
• In her book, Mackenzie Phillips claims she had sex with Mick Jagger when she was 18 (he would have been around 35). "I've been waiting for this since you were 10 years old," Jagger allegedly told her. She says: "I'd known Mick since I was a kid, and maybe most people think their parents' friends are old and gross. But this was Mick Jagger. Mick Jagger! He was hot. He had the most perfect ass in history." [NY Post]
• Britney Spears' 50/50 custody split with Kevin Federline will continue, at least through the end of the year. [TMZ]
• Chris Brown has booked his first show since assaulting Rihanna in February: He'll play Power 105.1's Powerhouse '09 concert with Keri Hilson, TheDream and Trey Songz. A source says: "Chris isn't advertiser-safe yet - his image has a long way to go… But for this show, he'll draw a crowd, so the producers of the show are willing to pay." [MSNBC Scoop]
• Jessica Alba's one-year-old daughter Honor is becoming bilingual. "I am a mother who shoves information down her throat, poor thing," Jessica says. "I sing her songs about colors in Spanish and English when I'm cooking. Literally I integrate learning into everything I do. We're into colors because I feel that's something a 15-month-old can sort of identify. So now she kind of points to blue and says 'azul' and I say 'Yes, azul, muy bien!' It's slow going but she's sort of picking it up." [People]
• How is Travis Barker doing after surviving a plane crash and the death of his good buddy DJ AM? Friend Rob Dyrdek says he's doing "better than I would probably think anyone would really expect." [People]
• "Mariah Carey is in a happy place with projects, love life." [USA Today]
• Brody Jenner's girlfriend, Jayde Nicole, is suing Joe Francis, alleging assault and battery. Joe Francis' response: "Jayde Nicole is an absolute and total liar. The only thing that Jayde Nicole is famous for is having a tattoo of the word 'respect' above her vagina." What does that have to do with anything? [TMZ]
• Khloe Kardashian's fiance, Lamar Odom, called off his bachelor party, which was to be hosted by Joe Francis and Khloe's brother Rob. Lamar opted for a private dinner with his teammates (and Joe and Rob) instead, which sounds like a smart move. [TMZ]
• Lamar Odom's bachelor party was supposed to have "stripper poles, midgets, and tons of candy." Because Joe Francis is classy like that. [Page Six]
• Sources says Ok! magazine will pay $300,000 for an exclusive on Khloe Kardashian's wedding. The money will go to Khloe and her mom. [Gatecrasher]
• Holly Madison, Hugh Hefner's former "number one" girlfriend, is getting her own reality show, Planet Holly. Holly says: "It's the perfect excuse for me to be normal in a lighthearted comedy romp. Think Mary Tyler Moore.' Um… MTM did not pose nude or have implants, though, right? [NY Daily News]
• Gossip Girl's Kelly Rutherford has filed court documents alleging that her stressful relationship with her ex husband has affected her ability to produce breast milk for her three-month old daughter. [Extra]
• Kelly Rutherford has been granted a temporary restraining order against her ex-husband, claiming he follows, threatens and scares her, her nanny, and her mother. [NY Daily News]
• Even though Kelis and Nas have been pictured together, their divorce is still on; there will be a hearing November 20. [TMZ]
• Jermaine Jackson's Michael Jackson tribute: "badly organized." [BBC News]
• Anne Heche says that she doesn't plan on marrying the father of her six-month-old child: "I want to stay in love." [E!]
• "Dancing with the Stars goes recession chic by reusing Shawn Johnson's costume for Natalie Coughlin." [NY Daily News]
• Click to see a picture of Emma Thompson is a Morris dancer outfit. [Daily Mail]
• Ricky Gervais explains how he got Philip Seymour Hoffman to do a cameo in his new film The Invention Of Lying: "I didn't know Philip Seymour Hoffman, but I sent him an email saying, 'Dear Philip, please do my new film. There's no money as I spent the entire budget on testicular implants. But don't think of them as my testicles, think of them as our testicles.' He loved it, and it worked." [Telegraph]
• From a great piece on Catherine Deneuve: "When we are talking of her role as a fashion model, and we reach the face, she confirms that she has never had any work done on it, while many of her age have. 'I haven't had the time,' she jokes. Then she adds: 'If you want an explanation, you would have to meet my mother. She is 98. It's genetic.'" [Times Of London]
• Edward Norton will play The Hulk in the Avengers movie. Norton says: "The thing about [Marvel's] universe that's fun is that it all cross-pollinates. Even when I was working on the script [for 'The Incredible Hulk'], I tried to plug in the whole Super-Soldier Serum from Captain America." [MTV News]
• "Olivia Newton-John claims to have seen UFO." [Telegraph]
• Justin Guarini, whose nose job nose is kind of insane, is getting married this weekend in a "spiritual," "intimate" service, which means Kelly Clarkson probably won't be there. [Prz]
• Brigitte Bardot is about to turn 75, and this column "reveals a life lived between bed and bedlam." [Daily Mail]
• Redmond O'Neal has been moved from jail to a an in-patient drug rehab facility. [People]
• Charles Manson follower Susan Atkins, who admitted killing actress Sharon Tate 40 years ago, has died. [NY Post]
• "As ailing showbiz mogul Dick Clark prepares to celebrate his 80th birthday in November, a new documentary threatens to tarnish his image by recounting his controversial beginnings." One word: Payola. [Reuters]
• "Richard Pryor's two children say they were never told their late father set up a trust for them…" [TMZ]
• "I haven't watched Vampire Diaries. And I haven't seen Twilight either." — True Blood's Stephen Moyer. [E!]
• "I think that by understanding Chanel's character and different sources of inspiration, you understand the rest of her life." — Audrey Tautou. [WSJ]
• "It's the first time that I really want to have kids. I've been very fortunate in my career, and my life has been about that for so long that you get bored of it. You're ready for your life to be about other people and other things." — Vince Vaughn, recently engaged... Will this turn into another "poor Jennifer Aniston" story? [People]
• "I wanna eat my potatoes and French fries and sponge cakes. When I play a role like this, I can't have my carbs and it makes me crazy." — Gerard Butler. [E!]
• "It's odd for my kids when they turn up at the theater and see me being a parent in a film. I know they're thinking, 'Who are these kids that are around my dad?' But they seem OK with it. Actually, my girls completely boss me. I have no power in my house whatsoever. I am the geek of my household. I am so low-status in my house, you wouldn't believe it. I'm definitely not treated like a movie star." — Clive Owen, who plays a widower dad in his new film The Boys Are Back. [Parade]
• "I love playing Peggy [Olson]. Finding the balance between playing her, finding new things, and not losing her, and constantly finding enough new stuff to keep her remaining herself…Playing her is an exercise in remaining simple, despite the fact that she is becoming more complicated. [She's] not out to hut anyone, she's just trying to figure out who she is. But it still is agenda-free. She is looking for her place in the world." — Elisabeth Moss, who is on the September cover of Vanice magazine. [JustJared]
• "Hitler was a genius orator. To make that many people turn and change and hate, he had to be a showman and he was." — Michael Jackson, on Rabbi Shmuley Boteach's tapes, which are now a book. [Daily Mail]
• Michael Jackson was asked by Rabbi Shmuley Boteach, "Is there a lot of jealousy in your profession?" "Absolutely," Jackson says, "and 'M' is one of them. Madonna." [Page Six]
• "We're more in love than ever. It's great." — Patricia Arquette, who filed for divorce from husband Thomas Jane earlier this year but is now back with him. [People]
• "Atheism has been on the rise for years now, and the Bible of the atheists is [Darwin's] The Origin of Species. We have a situation in our country where young people are entering college with a belief in God and exiting with that faith being stripped and shredded. What we want to do is have student make an informed, educated decision before they chuck their faith.… I am proud to bring this to people's attention. You see things in the world that are truly distressing and you think, 'What can I do?' Well this is something I can do." — Kirk Cameron. [People]

Oh yes, I did: I love Padma, but this simply has too much going on, none of it good. And I have a particular aversion to tumor-like embellishment.


Sarah Silverman's Velasquez-worthy panniers are...incredibly unflattering. That's all I'll say.


Patricia Arquette usually makes her way into this category for something more spectacular; this was merely dowdy.


Adore Jessica Lange, adore the color, adore the old-school-glam concept: it's only the fit that gives me pause.


Jenna Fischer makes the mistake of taking style tips from Belle Watling.


I concede that Blake Lively's plunging gown was borderline: I think it's the Vegas-ready sequin detailing that put it over the edge.


There's only one word for the fabrication of Hope Davis' gown: "wizard."


I actually gasped at the frumpiness of the normally-chic Kyra Sedgwick's grotesquely mumsy drapery. It's as if a mother-in-law who hated her chose her outfit.


Nancy O'Dell lives down to her usual red carpet standard. And yes, I am still bitter that she got Austin kicked off.


Eva La Rue's crummy-looking gown's not even Vegas: it's Atlantic City.


Whatever Jessica Lowndes envisioned, I'm guessing it wasn't this shepherdess debacle.


I wonder who Victoria Rowell voted for? And I'm just going to say it: "man's face, enormous" is generally a bad idea for a gown pattern.

[Images via Getty]

[Los Angeles, February 16. Image via Bauer-Griffin]

• Kim Kardashian on Jessica Simpson's body: "Call me crazy, but when I saw the picture, I was like, 'Oh my God, Jessica looks hot!'" Kim continues:

"I love high-waisted jeans, I loved that belt, and her hair looked fabulous. I get that she does look curvier, but to me, there's nothing wrong it. When I saw that picture, I knew everyone was going to say something. And I thought, 'You know what? Leave Jessica alone!' She's fabulous, she's a really sweet girl, and I admire her for putting up with it." [People]

• Joaquin Phoenix's rap career: Not a hoax. Says his publicist. "He intends on exploring his musical interests despite speculative, negative or positive reactions." Sure, sure. [Mirror]
• Patrick Swayze has reportedly given up all medical treatment after doctors told him there was nothing more they could do for him. A source says: "The goal now is to keep Patrick comfortable… He's still losing weight and he's very weak." [Daily Mail]
• A stuntman who doubles for Daniel Radcliffe is paralyzed after suffering a serious injury on the set of Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince. [Daily Mail]
• Jake Gyllenhaal was "fidgety" at the courthouse in downtown L.A., where he was being considered as a potential juror. That's right: Jake might get jury duty! [E!]
• Michael Lohan is pleading for the public to "PLEASE HELP!!!" his daughter Lindsay: "I am asking everyone out there to intervene in every way possible to help Lindsay, and quite possibly, save her life,” he posted on his blog. "Help this wonderful, good hearted and gifted young lady to see what SaMANtha is doing to her and how she is destroying her life." [MSNBC]
• Meanwhile, Mark Ronson hung out with Lady GaGa in London last night. Ronson wore a black overcoat and skinny jeans; Ms. GaGa wore a rubber bra and skirt. [Daily Mail]
• Scarlett Johansson on her marriage to Ryan Reynolds: "I never had any preconceived notions of marriage or anything like that. I never really thought about it that much. My parents were divorced when I was 13, so I never had an idea of what a marriage should be, would be or could be. I was never in a hurry, I just figured someday I would get married, I guess. I am really in love with love. I’m a lover, not a fighter. I’m a real lov-vah." [Mirror]
• Thank GOB: The Arrested Development movie is on! [Gatecrasher]
• Brad Pitt wears that newsboy cap a lot. [NY Daily News]
• David Beckham loves it when his fellow AC Milan players pat his bottom: "I hadn’t even realised Clarence [Seedorf] had touched my backside but I’ll be happy if he does it again — because it will mean I’ve scored another goal. So he’s formally got my permission to touch it again." [The Sun]
• Miley Cyrus performed for Sasha and Malia Obama and seems blasé: "They were taking pictures like every other fan – they were really cool and appreciative of me being there. I really liked that." Yes, dear, it's all about what you like. [Perez]
• Mickey Rourke will not wrestle WWE superstar Chris Jerico at Wrestlemania, even though he said he would before the SAG awards. Apparently someone told him that acting is not being. [AP]
• Put a fork in Audrina and JustinBobby, because they are DONE: "I keep reading on blogs that I'm cheating on Justin, and we're not even together anymore!" Audrina told Us Weekly. "The last time I saw him was at The Hills finale in New York in December." [Perez]
• American Idol contestant Joanna Pacitti was in the 1996 cast of Annie, had a deal with A&M records, released an album and was on a reality show. So should she be on AI? Producer Ken Warwick says yes: "The question isn't 'have you ever had a deal' it’s 'do you have one now.' If the answer is no, then you can compete. If you were already a professional, you wouldn’t be auditioning, after all." [MSNBC]
• By the by: Paula Abdul stormed off the set of American Idol, saying: "Okay, I guess my opinion doesn't matter." A teenage contestant encouraged her to go back inside. [The Star]
• The fifth Twilight book was leaked online, and author Stephenie Meyer is "too sad about what happened" to continue writing the story. Shimmery vampire fans, insert your own "that bites" pun here. [Gatecrasher]
• Kelly Osbourne went back to rehab because her London lifestyle is "very bad for her," a source says. "It's a very party atmosphere there." Hmm, in rehab they will probably teach you not to blame the city! [People]
• Are Patricia Arquette and Thomas Jane reconciling? They filed for divorce last month, but are hosting a party together next week. Work it out! [E!]
• U2 had so much fun recording their album at Olympic Studios that they're thinking about buying the facility. [The Sun]
• Blind item! "Which cheesy reality star goes on $30K shopping sprees and returns all items the next day when she realizes she can’t actually afford them?" [Gatecrasher]
• Picture this: Liam Neeson as Abraham Lincoln, in a film project by Steven Spielberg. Epic, no? [Mirror]
• Kylie Minogue was at the Jean Paul Gaultier show in Pairs yesterday, talking about how she's going to jet to India do a musical number in a Bollywood film. [WWD]
• Does Kate Hudson look a wee sloppy on the cover of InStyle UK? [The Life Files]
• Ellen Barkin will star and executive produce an untitled HBO drama, her first TV series. Barkin's character is a woman "famous for her high-profile marriage who divorces and re-enters the singles market and finds herself developing a close, platonic bond with the 24-year-old son of her ex-husband." Please don't let it be called Cougar. [Variety]
• Joan Rivers has two new books: one is a plastic surgery tell-all called Men Are Stupid… And They Like Big Boobs and the other is a murder mystery titled Murder At the Academy Awards. What do they have in common? Rivers says "101%" of the people who walk the red carpets of Hollywood have had work done. [USA Today]
• John Cleese is no longer returning text messages from his 27-yet-45 year old girlfriend Barbie Orr. It's over! [Daily Mail]
• What the world needs now: A Marie Osmond talk show. [Mediaweek]
• Julian Lennon and Sean Lennon, whose families feuded in the past, will perform together in public at a United Nations event. Come together, right now… [Fox 411]
• Everyone in the small Swiss town of Kallnach knows Marilyn Manson, absinthe connoisseur, because they manufacture his "Mansinthe" there. [IHT]
• Random people on the street have been yelling at this Prince Harry lookalike ever since Prince Harry's breakup, making the lookalike's life a living hell. Gingers never get a break. [The Sun]
• The lookalike is in hiding, btw. [Telegraph]
• If you are interested in T.I.'s pubes, by all means, click the link at the end of this sentence. [The Life Files]
• "Now guys are really nice when they’re breaking up with me because they don’t want to end up on a song." — Lily Allen. [The Sun]
• "We always thought we were doing something different, first of all, in having a show about a girl, because that wasn't happening at the time. You were usually the bimbo or the nerd, those were your main choices in the early '90s. So what we tried to do was create a show about a girl who was neither, and who was both. She was popular at school, and she was hip, but she was also bright, and she had other interests. We tried to create an experience that was common to a lot of girls, which is that you're both of those things at once, and that was huge for a lot of people. And we weren't doing Shakespeare, but we were absolutely dealing with issues that other shows were not." — Mayim Bialik on Blossom, which is finally being released on DVD. [Onion AV Club]
• "The only reason I have lost weight is because I comfort eat when I'm not very happy. The last two years, even though I had a lot of success with my first record, I was … getting so drunk. I was on tour with people I didn't know, and I was all around the world working really hard and was really confused and lonely." — Lily Allen, to The Sun. [People]
• I don’t feel sexy, not right now. I think there is kind of an ingenue thing that women play when they are in their 20s. They are sort of these whimsical, sort of transient characters, and it’s like that in life. Women in their 30s, and actors in their 30s, suddenly take on far meatier roles. They are playing mothers and wives and women who have been through a life – before the place that they are at that moment. And I look forward to that time when I’ll be able to have more of a life that I have experienced to put into the roles." — Scarlett Johansson. [Mirror]
• "My industry is magazine publishing. Pornography? That isn't my industry. If you call sexual images pornography, then they are negative. If you call those same images erotic, they are positive. I'm not an active feminist. I'm an active humanist. I separated ways from feminism when it became antisexual. I believe embracing sexuality is part of what it means to be free." — Hugh Hefner. [Time]
• "It seems to the outside world that I've always had a job but I have not. Every four months when a film finishes there's a big chasm all the time and you're trying to figure out what will come next. Sometimes there are interesting projects that come around that I put a lot of energy into and sometimes I don't. My mother would always say to me 'How can you live like this? How can you not know next year what you're doing?' I think that's part of what makes actors able to destabilize themselves to a point where they can take on another persona because they always imploding." — Meryl Streep. [Mirror]

• Lindsay Lohan and Sean Penn: Hung out all evening. For real. And! Is LL in denial about the fact that Samantha Ronson has broken up with her? [Page Six]

• Lindsay looks pretty good in this behind-the-scenes video from her Interview magazine cover shoot. [Pop Dirt]
• Close friends and family attended the memorial service for Jett Travolta yesterday afternoon. Lisa Marie Presley, James Gandolfini, Kirstie Alley, Garth Brooks and wife Trisha Yearwood, Forest Whitaker and wife Keisha were among the mourners. [USA Today]
• Nicole Kidman on watching herself in Australia: "I squirmed in my seat. I can't look at this movie and be proud of what I've done. I sat there and I looked at Keith and went, 'Am I any good in this movie?'" [Daily Mail]
• Angelina and Brad are not, repeat, not married. Taraji P. Henson slipped when she called Angelina Brad's wife: "I mean, they have a family, they live together. What is married really? It's like they are married." [Yahoo News via E!]
• Wow, the Golden Globes website announced that Anne Hathaway won a Golden Globe for Rachel Getting Married a few days early! The info has since disappeared, but if you're in an office pool, consider this one a freebie. [Socialite Life via New York Mag, JustJared]
• Katie Holmes walked into a busy Dean & Deluca in SoHo, Manhattan yesterday, carrying Suri. She waited on line to pay for a cookie for Suri and then walked down the block to Uniqlo, where Suri ate her cookie and Katie bought cardigans. [WWD]
• Lily Allen is giving up clubbing! She has a whole new modus operandi: "I hang out with much older people. I go for dinners at posh places and talk about art. I’m meeting more interesting people who tax my brain." [The Sun]
• Ashley Olsen doesn't wash her hands when she leaves a public toilet. [Page Six]
• Oh dear. Everything was going so well down in the Caribbean. But now Amy Winehouse has hurled a glass of water at a female tourist. She apologized. But a source says: "She walks around in the same grimy bikini bottoms each day with her boobs on show, gets drunk, gropes waiters and is rude to male staff. She’s hardly the most popular guest." But, isn't that the way people act on vacation? [The Sun]
• Fill in the blank! Twilight star Robert Pattinson said the following to a chick at a bar in L.A.: "If I could, I’d have a _____ on the inside of my elbow so I could lick it all day long." [Gatecrasher]
• Sacha Baron Cohen's new movie, Bruno, is sure to piss some people off: There's a black model called Jesus wearing a loincloth and a crown of thorns; and Bruno, the gay Austrian fashion journalist, along with his boyfriend, Diesel, adopts an orphaned African baby boy named David and takes the kid to fashion shows. [Telegraph]
• Kanye West talks about his run-ins with the paparazzi in the new issue of Vibe: "I haven’t done anything violent. They make it seem like I actually went and hit the paparazzi. I haven’t. I was restrained. I’m good at restraining myself from committing violent acts. I know how to control my temper. That one paparazzo made it a bigger deal. I just put my hand up and he felt like he had more right to my personal space than I did. I put my hand up to stop him from shooting me." [Concrete Loop]
• Jermaine Dupri, like so many others lately, is out of a job. He was president of Island Records Urban Music. [Perez]
• This report claims Dupri was fired… because he stopped coming to work. [Page Six]
• Some trickster sent a handwritten letter and a demo CD to Rolling Stone in the name of Sean "Puffy" Combs, along with a pack of gum and a photo of Diddy, "intended as bribes." Nice try. [Rolling Stone]
• There's something oddly charming about this Chloë Sevigny Esquire interview, like when she explains her name: "The umlaut isn't on my birth certificate. I had this book as a child called Chloë and Maude, and there was an umlaut on the e, and I said, I want that! It's a little flair. Just to confuse people even more. People always come up to me and say, Oh, you're Chloë Se-VIG-ny, right? Sevigny. Number seven, letter e." [Esquire]
• You probably forgot that R. Kelly was married, so it will probably come as a shock to you that he is now officially divorced. [E!]
• Fergie's wedding to Josh Duhamel this saturday will be a "blinged-out affair." She's working with H. Stern on the jewelry, which means a PR blitz, which means pictures of the ceremony in the weeklies, for sure. [WWD]
• Patricia Arquette wants you to know that animal overpopulation is as easy as ABC: Animal Birth Control. [ONTD]
• Blind item! "Which mega-athlete got duped by his wife? She swore she was on the pill but wasn’t, and that led to an unexpected bundle of joy." [Gatecrasher]
• Amy Poehler and Rashida Jones' new NBC sitcom is not an Office spinoff; there's a hospital involved, and Human Giant's Aziz Ansari will also star. He says: "The script is hilarious." [Gatecrasher]
• Will TR Knight stay with Grey's Anatomy? Chandra Wilson says yes: "Every script that comes down has O'Malley's name in it, so we're going to do right by the fans, and we're going to do right by the actors, but right now we're all together." [E!]
• Lil' Kim did not go to see the new flick about Notorious B.I.G., but Faith Evans, who was married to Big Poppa, says: "I couldn’t even watch the trailer without crying. I’m going to have to peel off my fake eyelashes!" [Gatecrasher]
• If you're interested in knowing what Kelly Clarkson's new CD cover looks like, click away. [Perez]
• Scott Weiland is out of rehab but still has a terrible temper; he was seen calling some woman a piece of trash and throwing a pack of cigarettes at her head. [Page Six]
• Merle Haggard is suing an environmental awareness group for illegally using his name and likeness. But doesn't the planet need the cash??? [AP]
• Serena Williams looks all PLAKOW in this behind-the-scenes video from her shoot for H magazine. [The Life Files]
• "I don't really have any concept of how money works. I don't know how much things cost. Like a BMW. Or a quart of milk. It's embarrassing. My brother, when he was a commodities trader, would bring me the pamphlets you bring home to your children, like, 'Daddy trades orange juice.'" — Chloë Sevigny. [Esquire]
• "I do think it’s my best album to date. No, I actually know this is my best album to date. Do I think it will be my best album ever? No, I'll improve. Do I think there are mistakes in it? Yes. There has to be. I’m a human being. But I think it surpasses Graduation. These 12 tracks are going to resonate more than any 12 tracks of any album this year." — Kanye West on his current CD, 808s & Heartbreak. [Concrete Loop]
• "I've been living two different lives. By day I've got the leading role in a movie, in spite of having no acting training and very little experience. That's weird in itself. And at night I go home and my mum is telling me to make my bed, keep my room tidy and help with the washing-up. It keeps my feet on the ground, stops me from letting it all go to my head." — Dev Patel of Slumdog Millionaire. [Daily Mail]

• Cops believe that the robbers are also responsible for burglaries at the upscale homes of "Paramount Pictures chief Sherry Lansing and her Oscar-winning director husband, William Friedkin, Clippers basketball star Cuttino Mobley, Duran Duran guitarist John Taylor and his wife, Juicy Couture President Gela Nash-Taylor, and country music stars Tim McGraw and Faith Hill. [LAT]
• And now, here is a stoner soliloquy from the Bard, Woody Harrelson: "A new day, trembling with potential / I am the potentiate, and my life is equal to the task of living of loving, of moving my love"—that's my name for Laura, "my love"—"Yesterday I wallowed in me-hood, following a well-worn path / Today, I jump from bridges, dance on tiny windowsills high above the ubiquitous crowd of unsuspecting faces / Combative. Angry. Hostile. Those were the bedrock of this body's previous tenant and now I, nameless, unnameable, ergo mysterious, incorrigible, march to the musical manifestations, the bass and harp of distant angels, calling me with their many magnificent mouths: Dance, creature! Put down your pen, lift up your limbs, and dance to greet another golden morning." [Esquire]
• Fergie and Josh Duhamel will wed in January! Apparently Nicole Kidman and Kate Hudson will be in attendance. Let's hope Fergie pees before she gets strapped into her gown! [Popdirt]
• Here's a list of Mark Ronson's 99 favorite bands. Now I don't have to be embarrassed about loving Ben Folds anymore, because he's Ronson-approved! [ Guardian]
• Sarah Jessica Parker has spoken to Sex and the City costar Jennifer Hudson, and Parker says, "The little bit that I would share is just that I think she's surviving. I don't know how a person navigates anything like this. And I think nobody is prepared for something like this. But she is incredibly strong. She is a woman of faith. And I think she is figuring out. I can't imagine what it must be like for her." [Daily Express]
• If you want to remember Britney in happier, pre-fame days, check out this cutie audition she did as a wee one. [this cutie audition tape]
• Dustin Hoffman asked for the theater he donated money to build at Santa Monica College to name a bathroom after him. His wish was granted! Who doesn't want to pee in Dustin Hoffman's room? [EW]
• There's a rumor going around that Pete Doherty destroyed one of his arteries through too much intravenous drug use. At least there were no kittens involved this time. [Dlisted]
• If you were looking for more insight into Tara Reid's recent entrance into rehab, try this: "She becomes erratic and is a completely different person when she's intoxicated, which is hard for people close to her to watch." Maybe it would also be good for her if those people close to her stopped talking to celebrity rags? Just sayin'. [People]
• Billie Jean is just a girl who says…she wants £668 million from Michael Jackson. "Billie Jean Jackson alleges she is the mother of the singer's son Prince Michael Jackson II, nicknamed Blanket. The woman demands £668 million in support payment, as well as joint legal and physical custody of the six-year-old." Doesn't sound like a fake nuisance lawsuit at all, no sir. [ Daily Express]
• Now that Debra Winger has returned to the silver screen with critical fave Rachel Getting Married, she's answering questions about the Rosanna Arquette documentary Searching For Debra Winger. “I told her she didn’t need my permission because my name is public domain," the notoriously salty star says. "I understand that it was a lovely film but I decided that I wouldn’t see it so that I wouldn’t have to comment on it. It was deeply embarrassing because after I had spent eight years seeking some amount of obscurity, in one fell swoop she obliterated that possibility by putting my name in the title.” [Telegraph]
• Tracy Pollan, the actress best known for being married to Michael J. Fox, will star in a Lifetime movie about Natalie Holloway. She'll play Natalie's mom, Beth Twitty, in The Natalee Holloway Story. The movie is based on the real life Beth Twitty's book Loving Natalee: A Mother's Testament of Hope and Faith, which in our opinion is a much better Lifetime movie name. [ PR Wire]

• Yesterday we heard there was no sex tape; today Britney wants to buy the tape she made with Adnan Ghalib from him, so she can destroy it. Even if they're not having sex on the video, she's probably loopy and naked. She might need to give this guy a lot of cash to make him go away. [The Sun]
• Meanwhile, Adnan Ghalib has filed for divorce. Don't forget: He was married the whole time he was dating Brit. [TMZ]
• New show Rock of Love Bus with Bret Michaels has been halted after a crew member driving a production vehicle fell asleep at the wheel and killed two 19-year olds in another vehicle. Bret says: "As a father of two, I cannot even imagine what the families must be going through at this time. I will make every attempt to reach out to them to let them know that my heart and prayers are with them during their time of grief." As of yet, neither Bret nor VH1 have contacted the families. [Perez Hilton]
• Angelina Jolie: In therapy? So are millions of Americans. More on this in Midweek Madness. [Star]
• DJ AM and and Paris Hilton have been texting. He wrote to her: "so lucky to be alive." Paris says: "I think God saved him." [E!]
• You know how Courtney Love said Kurt Cobain's ashes had been stolen? An Australian artist named Natascha Stellmach claims to have the ashes. She plans on putting the ashes in a joint and SMOKING them in a joint in a "secret Berlin location." Then she will announce that she feels stupid and contagious. [NY Mag]

• Sharon Stone wanted her 8-year-old son to get Botox injections in his feet. This was revealed in some custody papers; apparently the kid had a "problem" with "foot odor." Mom suggested Botox; the kid's dad, Phil Bronstein, thought of the "simple and common sense approach" of making sure the boy wore socks and used foot deodorant. [LA Times, TMZ, HuffPo]
• Jennifer Aniston is tanorexic! She bought two tanning beds — at $34,000 each — for her L.A. home after the one she had broke. "She freaked out because the next day, she had a major photo shoot," sez a source. "She had to go to a public tanning place. She learned her lesson after that — always have a back-up." Or, you know, just go to Mexico. [Star]
• This picture of Heather Locklear "arriving" at the police station after her DUI bust is just sad. [The.Life Files]
• Oh, wow: The woman who dialed 911 on Heather Locklear is Jill Ishkanian, a former Us Weekly staffer who was under investigation by the FBI. Right after she called authorities, she called a paparazzi agency. Plus: Ishkanian apparently is the only witness who says Lockelear was driving erratically and that she was drunk, even though it's already established she was not under the influence of alcohol. Ishkanian was in the movie America The Beautiful talking about using celebrities. She runs CelebrityBabylon.com. [TMZ]
• Lindsay Lohan may be on vacation in Mexico but her legal troubles never take a break. Her lawyers were in court seeking dismissal of a portion of a lawsuit filed against her by her former bodyguard, David Kim. He claims she owes him money; LL's lawyers sat there's no evidence of fraud. [E!]
• Daniel Craig was in East Hampton and heard bagpipes coming from inside a restaurant. He walked in and found out it was a baptism celebration. Craig ended up holding the baby and posing for photos. The softer side of Bond! [Page Six]
• Despite reports that it's back on, Jimmy Kimmel and Sarah Silverman are just friends, says a publicist. So calm down. [UPI]
• Oh no: Audrina Patridge wants her own show. And MTV is actually discussing it with her! [Perez Hilton]
• Sean Penn's playing San Francisco’s first openly gay politician, Harvey Milk, in a new film. Apparently after kissing James Franco, Sean texted Madonna: "I just broke my cherry kissing a guy. I thought of you. I don’t know why." Madonna wrote back: "Congratulations." [LA Times]
• Speaking of Madonna, the trailer for her film looks not half bad. [Jossip]
• Two high school girls were suspended for dancing to Katy Perry's song at a football game. It was Texas, where "I Kissed A Girl" is threatening, apparently. [Perez Hilton]
• Do not make the mistake of listening to Paris Hilton's techno-tinged new song about finding a new best friend. Just don't. Some of us haven't fully recovered. [People]
• Beyoncé's new CD probably will not be done in time for her Nov. 18 release date. [Rush & Molloy]
• Mark Wahlberg's son was born on Sept. 16 but Mark and his fiancée Rhea Durham just settled on a name: Brendan Joseph. [E!]
• Yes! YES! Jack White and Alicia Keys in the video for the new Bond song, "Another Way To Die." [People]
• Katie Price, the "glamour model" known as Jordan, and her husband Peter Andre, might be breaking up. [Perez Hilton]
• Oh wait, here they are leaving a club all kissy kissy. [The Sun]
• Kendra from Girls Next Door and Joe Francis: Seen making out in Miami. [Page Six]
• Simon Pegg is learning how to lose friends and alienate people. He said of Ricky Gervais: "He said there'd been no good British films since 1950. What an idiot. If you go to LA, you can get sucked into that." [Telegraph]
• Some film exec on Forest Whitaker: "Ugly, black, and unbankable." [StereoHyped]
• There's no street named after Lou Reed in New York, and he thinks that's bullshit. He says: "Lou Reed Way would be nice. Any little street would do." [Gothamist]
• Fast food joint Sonic wants to target young women, so they're creating a bunch of episodic-type ads to run during The Hills. [Brandweek]
• Britain's Daily Star published a picture of Sienna Miller cornered by more than a dozen cameramen while waiting for an elevator, red-faced and near tears. She sued; stating she was clearly in distress and being harassed; the tabloid paid her $27,000 in damages and issued an apology. [E!]
• Kenny Chesney is making like Diddy and getting into the booze biz. He's developing a "premium rum" with Constellation Spirits. [UPI]
• Russell Crowe knows how to fix the economy: "I have been intently watching the political process," he says. "If they want to stimulate the economy and get people spending so they can look after their mortgage ... give everyone $1 million.'' Except that would be 300 trillion dollars, way more than the $700 billion bailout package. [News.com.au]
• Kim Kardashian is not married, she just calls her boyfriend "hubby." Or "Papa Bear." [E!]
• Kim was booted from Dancing With The Stars last night, on the 5th anniversary of her father's death. Robert Kardashian was best known for being OJ Simpson's lawyer. [Yahoo News]
• Three people who work on Madonna's tour speak about the costumes, the concept and Her Madgesty. The costume designer says: "Madonna has eight costume changes. And everyone gets doubles of everything, including the shoes, to last the duration of the tour. Madonna sometimes has up to six copies of one particular outfit so that it always looks fresh and great. […] We develop a lot of her clothes ourselves. So we go to the end of the earth if we have to to find the right fabric. Or if we have shoes made, we collaborate with wonderful people at Miu Miu and Prada. Madonna gets to play different characters, whether it's a sexy robot or a gypsy." [NY Daily News]
• The weird thing about Stephen Colbert being in the comic of Spider-Man is that you end up staring at his illustrated crotch. [Perez Hilton]
• Janet Jackson is out of the hospital. It was probably exhaustion, says boyfriend Jermaine Dupri. "A 42-year-old body can't handle what a 22-year-old body can," he says. "I can tell you that she's definitely tired." [People]
• Oh, but while Janet was in the hospital, Jermaine was out partying. [E!]
• Billy Joel is helping to pay for the funeral of a fisherman whose body was found not far from his house in Long Island. Joel says: "I’ve always supported our local commercial fishermen. These are the people, both men and women, who have to go out in all types of conditions to bring us our fish." [NY Times]
• A letter written by a young Princess Diana in which she admitted trying to marry off her elder sister to her future husband Prince Charles has been sold at auction for £12,000. [Yahoo News]
• Bollywood is on strike! Movie shoots are canceled! [Yahoo News]
• "She told me that you can't have both a love life and a career in pictures at the same time, and it has proven to be true - she was right." — Patricia Arquette's memory of working with Bette Davis. [Page Six]
• "Paul Newman told me his hotel in Chicago was a room at the YMCA, which was not hard to imagine. He considered himself just another member of the acting company, who would call his wife during breaks and confess to feeling self-conscious on the first day of shooting. But he was Paul Newman, and could not mask the fact he was simply – yet elegantly – an extraordinary artist and man. How lucky we all have been." — Tom Hanks. [People]
• "Bad boys just keep following me around." — Pamela Anderson. [The Sun]

[Los Angeles, August 24. Image via Flynet]

The Good:
Claudia Schiffer, incredibly chic at Armani.
French fashionista Clotilde Courau wearing this New Look number to the riotously retro Dior show is the equivalent of painting your face with the Patriots logo. Except that this looks stunning.
Helen Mirren, power-dressing to good effect at Armani.
Princess Siriwanwarree Nareerat of Thailand, at Dior.
No one - not Kate Moss, not Lauren Hutton - does dressed-down better than Charlotte Gainsbourg, chicest woman in the world. Here at Givenchy.
There's a lot going on here, but Eva Mendes, at Dior, makes it work.
Not going to lie to you, team. I would get a perverse pleasure out of sticking Nuclear Wintour (at Lacroix) in 'Bad.' But looks like today's not going to be that day. Journalistic ethics, etc.
Who but Wonder Woman could pull off this trying shade of lemon? Lynda Carter, Lacroix.


The Bad:
Socialite and fashionista Becca Thrash looks...how do you say?...not great. I think the problem lies in the necklace. Lacroix.
Not my favorite look on Patricia Arquette, at Dior. The belt, the hem...oh, dear.
If model Joanna Preiss (at Dior) was rocking this with shorts, maybe — maybe — it could just be dressed-down. But the diaphanous skirt takes this in a dangerously middle-school direction.
I can imagine the pressure's on when you've been a fashion icon as Marisa Berenson has. And if she just wanted to say, 'screw this I'm done with fashion' it would be one thing. I mean, I'm not looking iconic right now, either. But she's at the Dior show and I'm at my Grandpa's house.
Incidentally, Liv Tyler's movie, The Strangers, is really scary. I dislike her frock, presumably Givenchy.

[Images via Getty, WENN]