Yes, there is a social expectation that women will be the primary caretaker of children, and it's great that the government takes some small steps to allow women to transition more easily back into the workforce and have flexible hours if they want them. But by putting those responsibilities solely on women, the government is basically saying that it is, in fact, a woman's role to be the primary caregiver. That's not actually a great thing for equality.

Duncan Fisher, who heads the British think tank the Fathers Institute, hits the nail on the head with two points: gender stereotypes in child-rearing are reinforced by unequal pay with which women struggle; and "allowing" women to transfer part of their government-mandated leave to their husbands does nothing to give men equal opportunities and continues to reinforce the idea that it is a woman's role.

Furthermore, both Brewer and Fisher pointed out that while it's great for the government to allow people to take leave, both genders struggle with the fact that actually doing so can cause harm to their careers. Brewer notes that many women are being ignored for positions because of the expectation that they will take their full year and ask for flexible hours, while Fisher notes that men are often looked down upon for taking time away from their careers to help rear their children.

It is great for a government to mandate employer-flexibility for parental leave, but it's crappy for both parents and the society as a whole when doing so continues to reinforce the stereotype that child-rearing is "women's work." It's also worse when it's tied up in issues like pay disparities (which the government is also trying to tackle). Parental leave issues are tied to equality both in the workplace and in society as a whole, and caught up in everything from child care costs and availability to the way "flexible" hours are viewed by employers to pay disparities and gender stereotypes. While the government can't mandate that fathers stay home or put an end to stereotypes about the appropriate gender roles in relationships, it could at least try not to reinforce outdated ideas of gender stereotypes like the idea that a stay-at-home dad is something so unusual.

Equality Laws 'Are Now Holding Women Back' [The Times]
Paid Maternity Leave Does Us No Favours Either, Say Fathers [The Times]

It seemed like the mothers and fathers featured in the article kept serious tallies of their chores and work and daily functions. While this certainly prevented bitterness from spouses (usually the wives) who felt they were doing the lion's share of the work, it seems like it could inspire an entirely new kind of discontent based on a life bereft of flexibility. Ironic, especially since the couples all negotiated their job situations in order to make their home time absolutely equal. Of course, it is a noble thing these couples are doing, and every marriage and childhood situation is one based on a series of discussions and compromises.

It doesn't help that American society makes it more difficult for men to stay at home, as Michelle Goodman points out in ABC News. Paternity leave, if granted at all, is typically one week. For a woman who had a C-section, "which meant she needed help doing everything from lifting the baby to her breast, to finding the time to brush her own teeth," a week is paltry indeed.

Belkin has a separate article about men who stay at home in today's Times, but this piece focuses on men who opt out while their wives continue working. According to Belkin, men often have a tougher time going back to work, as employers are even less sympathetic to holes in their resumes. What most women, and men, don't realize, says Belkin, is that you are most powerful when you are willing to leave. "But women were simply leaving rather than using their leverage to ask for the moon — a sharply decreased workload or increased salary or guarantee of a job upon return — on the chance they might get it. In recent years, women have negotiated more, a trend not lost on men." That seems to be the takeaway from all of these pieces: while your workplace might seem unfriendly to your procreation needs, there is often room for haggling, if you're just willing to put it out there.

When Mom And Dad Share It All [NYT]
Why Dad’s Résumé Lists ‘Car Pool’ [NYT]
Paternity Leave: When A Week Isn't Enough [ABC News]