MEOUCH!!!! OH NOES! DIS MODDLE HAZ NO CAPSHUN!!!!! USE TEH AMAZIN ROFLBOT! AN POST SUGGGESSHUNS IN TEH COMMINTZ!!!!

Earlier:
Vogue Taunts Us With LOL-Worthy Horse
LOLVogue: I Purmd Mai Hare
LOLVogue: I Can Haz Locayshun Shewt? (Plus Contest!)
October's LOLVogue Contest: We Have A Winner
LOLVogue: Teh Billee Goatz Gruff (And Contest!)
LOLVogue: Sumwon Elss Kleanz Up (Plus Contest!)
LOLVogue: I Can Haz Wind Tunnel?
LOLVogue: All Dat Glitterz Iz Mah Pantz
LOLVogue: Superhero Photo Shoot Gets Super Stoopid
French LOLVogue: I Can Has My Close-Up?
I Can Has Jeetann? C'est LOLVogue En Faux Français
LOLVogue: Teh Hare Toss & Teh Bunnee Hop
LOLVogue: Tard Moddles & Bahlinceeyagga
Bon Joor, C'est Paris LOLVogue Encore!
LOLVogue: Sheez Over Ayteen, I Sware
LOLVogue: Hungry Moddles & Rorschach Tests
LOLVogue: Carbs, Botox & Pink-Eye
LOLVogue: Good Help Is Hard To Find
Mon Dieu! C'est French LOLVogue: Shoulders, Champagne and Cigarettes
LOLVogue: Starving Models & Marionettes
LOL'Vogue': Scarves, Silverware & Scooters

Related: LOLLost: Srsly, Guiz, Dis Izland Is Weeerd

Reports the Daily Mail: "French Vogue said it was unaware it had caused offense, but said it could not give any further comment."

French Vogue Accused Of Racism After Painting White Model Black For Fashion Shoot [Daily Mail]

Earlier: Oh No They Didn't: French Vogue Does Blackface

In April, a French Vogue shoot featured a "pregnant" model smoking and tossing a baby doll over her shoulder.

As Tatiana pointed out, if American Vogue were to portray the concept of motherhood, you'd get models holding babies and looking serene — "the mother of all clichés." She added: "French Vogue found the tenderness in mothering, but also the humor, the wackiness, the suggestion that it isn't perhaps natural to all women, and the surprise."

Additionally, in the July issue of Bazaar, MIlla Jovovich played a distracted working mom.





Obviously these shots differ in that there is a man present, but they certainly don't evoke the beaming, wholesome, Norman Rockwell concept of motherhood.

The new Italian Vogue shots include alcohol and cigarettes:






…As well as just plain-old avoidance:

There are a few ways to look at these images. Blogger Gwen from Sociological Images notes,

…Most countries don't share the American middle-class demonization of smoking or our concerns about the effects of second-hand smoke on children, or the idea that drinking cocktails around the kids is problematic (and remember, we used to give kids alcoholic drinks and Marlboros were marketed to moms). And many people don't believe that children need to be tended to every time they cry or look unhappy–that's a culturally and historically specific parenting ideal.

But a reader named Claire points out:

The message that motherhood might produce boredom, irritation, irreverence, and drive one to consume massive quantities of alcohol is one that I find refreshing, rather than appalling. Although this spread glamorizes the condition of being trapped within the confines of domesticity, can we not also interpret it as depicting the failure of domesticity and motherhood as a norm? And isn't the critique of a norm a productive act?

Good point. And here some more questions: Do these magazine editors want to start a dialogue about deconstructing the visual clichés of motherhood? Or do they just want edgy photoshoots? Does it matter? And even if they're not neglecting the kids — why all the bored, distracted moms?

Rich Moms Are Bad Moms: Vogue Italia's "Vagaries of Fashion" [Sociological Images]

Earlier: French Vogue And Ambivalent Modern Motherhood
Mr. Big Plays Housewife? How Bazaar

So. Jot this down: Fashion is focusing on the legs now. (Last year, toplessness was all the rage) The goal is to show as much leg as possible. It's not entirely clear when and where a leopard-print bodysuit — worn without skirt or trousers — is appropriate. And honestly? The hat kills this look, for me.


Girdle? Spanx? Hot pants? Whatever. The key to wearing this look is to be lacking in inner thigh.

Have you ever been on your way out to a sidewalk café when you were struck by the terrible feeling you'd forgotten something?

It's imperative to carry a purse, as you haven't any pockets. If you have the time and inclination, you may train a small army of canines to carry your bottled water and tampons.

"Pants! I will not wear them in the fog. I will not wear them for my dog."

Lady GaGa sees this and thinks, Meh. Just another Tuesday.

Silk boxers, while lovely, are not necessarily work-appropriate.

Whatever these ladies are doing, they feel more comfortable doing it without trousers.

Because without jeans, leggings or skirts, you can really show someone how much you love them.

And should that certain someone dare to cover up her legs, well, the punishment is unspeakable.

Earlier: Why Are We Experiencing An Anti-Pants Movement?
Hot For Fall: Toplessness!

The "Game Girl" layout in the May issue — shot by Inez Van Lamsweerde and Vinoodh Matadin, whose work we have gushed over before, features tableaux of Daria Werbowy "beating up" guys in the desert. It's a little Death Proof and Thelma & Louise and kinda silly, but also unexpected and visually arresting.

The caption reads, "Daria vs. Greg Bonnet, Plumber."

Here, Daria has her way with cinematographer/photographer Blair Madigan.

Seeing a female model be "aggressive" and physical with these men raises so many questions: Is she on a rampage? What made her snap? Did these guys do something to "deserve" an ass-kicking?

Obviously, because of Rihanna, issues of male/female violence are in the air right now. Certainly, were the tables turned, and a male model were striking out at random women, it would not be acceptable.

And yet… Isn't that the point? Aren't women usually the mistreated props? This guy is identified as a truck driver, a profession often stereotyped as being insensitive to women.

This is Dewitt Cannon, a champion skateboarder — a pro in something thought of as a boys' club.

Here, Daria is pictured with Josh "the Baby Faced Assassin" Barnett, a heavyweight MMA fighter. And while we can question whether this entire photo shoot is about male/female power struggles, clichés regarding what's really "tough" and turning violence or subjugation of women on its ear, the truth is, it's just an interesting idea for a swimwear layout, and one of the asses kicked is Lucky's.

Earlier: French Vogue: The Wind Beneath Our Wings
French Vogue: All Lara Stone, All The Time
French Vogue And Ambivalent Modern Motherhood
Cindy Crawford In French Vogue: 42, Half-Naked & Smoking Hot
Gender Bender: Agyness Deyn Mans Up For French Vogue
Kate Moss In French Vogue: Biker Chic(k)
Bon Joor, C'est Paris LOLVogue Encore!
What's The Message Behind A Black Man In Heels On The Cover Of Vogue?
French Vogue: Now With More Bearded Drag Queens
Olivier Theyskens Totally Naked in French Vogue: Hot or Not?
Mon Dieu! C'est French LOLVogue: Shoulders, Champagne and Cigarettes
French 'Vogue': Devil Worship Is The New Black!

As for Cindy Crawford, well, she looks stunning. She might not be your "typical" 42-year-old mother of two — let's face it, she's a genetic freak — but since many fashion spreads have been dominated by pale, blonde, waifish teens, her presence feels refreshing.

"Just a little something for when the kids have a pool party. Someone bring Mommy a margarita!"

I've said it before and I'll say it again: It's a shame that in the '90s, "robust" models like Cindy were pushed out by frail waifs like Kate Moss. Cindy (and Naomi) always seemed capable of kicking your ass. And making you enjoy it.

"You'd better not be talking behind my back."

Just add some screaming people and crushed buildings down by those shoes, and this is like a really elegant B-movie: "…And then the 500-foot woman grew tired, and took off her shirt. Global destruction is exhausting."

"I'm ready for my closeup."

Coming Of Age [Guardian]
Earlier: French Vogue: Now With More Bearded Drag Queens
French 'Vogue': Devil Worship Is The New Black!
Gender Bender: Agyness Deyn Mans Up For French Vogue
Kate Moss In French Vogue: Biker Chic(k)
French Vogue: The Wind Beneath Our Wings
Olivier Theyskens Totally Naked in French Vogue: Hot or Not?

"It Girl" Coco Brandolini, daughter of Georgina and Guy Brandolini, granddaughter if Contessa Brandolini — sister of Gianni Agnelli, head of Fiat — and the late Count Brando Brandolini, is getting married. Do you care? The rich, international jetset and the royals have always been Vogue's bread and butter, but reading about how Coco met her fiance on a winter weekend in Saint Moritz and Oscar de la Renta is designing her gown reads like satire. It's smug and hauter-than-thou.

On page 132, there's a snippet of text about "Fashion's Freshest Face," Arlenis Sosa. After months, nay years of not using any black models, Vogue profiled Arlenis in its July issue. Is she really still the "freshest?" Not fresh enough to get an editorial in this issue, that's for sure. She did appear in Italian Vogue, however.

Page 142 features Nicole Kidman talking about her Baz Luhrman movie, Australia. Wasn't she just on the cover of the July issue talking about the exact same thing? Why, yes! Andre Leon Talley calls Marc Jacobs the "Man Of The Moment" on page 148. Shocking, right? You could write this stuff in your sleep. The "Chill Factor" photo shoot, which begins on page 260, features a model, on a neutral grayish-beige background, jumping in every shot. We saw a jumping model on a neutral background in the July issue and in September 2007. Plus, there was jumping in the April issue as well.

In addition to the stale stories, there are the covers. Even though I'm aware that they are not the same kind of magazine — American Vogue is mainstream, where Paris Vogue is truly just for fashion die-hards — I can't help but compare covers and state how much more fun, more interesting, cooler and all-around better the French ones are.

American Vogue:

French Vogue:

Vogue Is Going to Elle [Perez Hilton]
Related: 'Oprah,' 'Vogue' Among Major Newsstand Losers [Portƒolio]
Earlier: 5 Possible Reasons Why Women's Magazine Sales Are Plummeting

Earlier: Vive La Difference
LOLVogue: Superhero Photo Shoot Gets Super Stoopid
I Can Has Jeetann? C'est LOLVogue En Faux Français

"Now you know the thrill of wrapping your legs around a tornado of pounding pistons..."

Kate really has that whole '60s thing down. She does seem worried that there might be leeches in that water, though.

The heels! On those boots! Are crazytown! Also: French Vogue never misses a chance to promote smoking.

Seriously? No one should ever be seen in public in this outfit. No one. Not even Ms. Moss.

Raise your hand if you had shorts that were very similar to these when you were in first grade.

Crotch shot! Bet the husky-voiced tattooed chicks who hang at biker bars never knew they were so fashionable.

The girl just don't give a fuck.

Um, tie-dyed bell bottoms aren't coming back, are they? Anyone? Bueller?

I remember back in the day when Kate's Obsession ads hit and everyone was freaking out and shocked and OMG anorexic heroin chic and now she just seems so normal.

Spoiler alert! Here's how the movie ends:

Earlier: French Vogue: The Wind Beneath Our Wings
I Can Has Jeetann? C'est LOLVogue En Faux Français
French 'Vogue': Devil Worship Is The New Black!

Earlier: French Vogue: The Wind Beneath Our Wings
Mon Dieu! C'est French LOLVogue: Shoulders, Champagne and Cigarettes
Bon Joor, C'est Paris LOLVogue Encore!
French 'Vogue': Devil Worship Is The New Black!
Related: LOLVogue: Teh Hare Toss & Teh Bunnee Hop
LOLVogue: Tard Moddles & Bahlinceeyagga
LOLVogue: Sheez Over Ayteen, I Sware
LOLVogue: Hungry Moddles & Rorschach Tests
LOLVogue: Carbs, Botox & Pink-Eye
LOLVogue: Good Help Is Hard To Find
LOLVogue: Starving Models & Marionettes
LOL'Vogue': Scarves, Silverware & Scooters

Earlier: LOLVogue: Carbs, Botox & Pink-Eye
LOLVogue: Good Help Is Hard To Find
Mon Dieu! C'est French LOLVogue: Shoulders, Champagne and Cigarettes
LOLVogue: Starving Models & Marionettes
LOL'Vogue': Scarves, Silverware & Scooters

A Cover Girl Who's Simply Himself [NY Times]

André is psyched to be alive! Who could blame him?

Who has the better legs? Be honest with yourself.

This story was shot by Bruce Weber, so naturally there are underaged kids. Carolyn Murphy, 32, nuzzles up to a bunch of youths, trying to choose one. Though the dude with the large hair on the left is pleading his case, Carolyn's got one hand going for the chest of a little girl and the other hand in the skater boi's crotch.

Yeah, she's made her choice.

"Let's act out the Mary Kay Letourneau story."

Earlier: French 'Vogue': Devil Worship Is The New Black!
LOLVogue: Starving Models & Marionettes
LOL'Vogue': Scarves, Silverware & Scooters

Chain mail dress? Check. Tarot cards? Check. Powerful coma-inducing herbs (not seen)? Check.

Buddhism is sooooo 2005. This season, it's all about trances.

Us: "In Greek mythology, Medusa was a monstrous female character; gazing upon her could turn onlookers to stone. In 1940, Sigmund Freud's Das Medusenhaupt (Medusa's Head) was published posthumously. Medusa is presented as 'the supreme talisman who provides the image of castration — associated in the child's mind with the discovery of maternal sexuality — and its denial. The snakes are multiple phalluses and petrifaction represents the comforting erection.'"
Model: "My extensions are stuck in the barbed wire, can someone help me?"

It's not creepy that she is standing in a pentagram in the woods. It's creepy that her extremely long-rise pants have hands.

"Fashion is about sacrifice, bitches!"

"Alas, poor Yorick, I knew her well."
"Who's Yorick?"
"The other model assigned to this shoot. She was trying to lose that last 5 lbs... She succeeded, in a way."

Finally! A subtle, daytime look you can wear to the supermarket, to the gynecologist's office, or to pick up the kids from school. Pentagram not included.