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Posts Tagged “

Paris Hilton

dirt bag

The Mystery Of Sarah Jessica Parker's Mole

  • Did Sarah Jessica Parker remove her "famous" mole? You know, the one on her chin? (And while we're at it, did she have, as some claim, a series of subtle nose jobs? [This Is London, Awful Plastic Surgery]
  • Speaking of procedures, what did Katherine Heigl do to her lips? [Awful Plastic Surgery]
  • Natalie Cole has been diagnosed with Hepatitis C. Her doctor says, "Natalie has had a terrific response to her medication and is now virus negative." She is experiencing side-effects of the drugs, like fatigue, muscle aches and dehydration, but she is doing well. The disease is most likely from her past drug use. [People]
  • Lindsay Lohan has been satisfying her DUI requirements, including a trip to the morgue. She'll have to do an alcohol education class next. Think she'll ace it? [TMZ]
  • Amy Poehler on The Office spinoff? Really? Really? Just as long as she still does Weekend Update. [Reuters]
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Loose Lips Angelina Jolie is in the hospital in the South of France to prepare for the birth of her twins. How come even a hospital in France sounds better than a basement in Brooklyn? • Spencer Pratt publicly apologized to Mary Kate Olsen, thus ending their entirely one-sided feud. "I apologize for getting caught up in trash talking, but she brought up an emotional subject when she mentioned the soccer stuff," Pratt attack told Us. • Want to dislike Paris Hilton even more than you already did? Peep this quote from her about new beau Benji Madden: "He is going to get [a tattoo] of me but he won't let me get one. He doesn't like tattoos on women. He thinks I look pure." Guess he didn't catch the sex tape then, eh? [People, Us, Dlisted]


rag trade

Paris Hilton: "Everyone Should Have a Chance To Be Me"

  • That's the tag line of her new hair extensions line. No, seriously. [bellasugar]
  • Oh! And some Russian teen 'designer' pays Paris to wear her dresses. [Couture In The City]
  • Designer and expectant father Pete Wentz opens Chicago fashion week. Oy. [Off the Rack]
  • Daisy Lowe to be the "Lauren Conrad" of London's Hills? [fashionista]
  • Q&A with everyone's favorite lumberjack fashionistos, Costello-Tagliapietra. [The Fashion Informer]
  • Economy's loss is H&M's gain. [Financial Times]
  • Sadia Morrison, a well-known celebrity publicist and stylist to the stars, has died. She was allegedly murdered. Her clients included Kanye West and 50 Cent. She was 26 years old. [Global Grind]
  • Fashion start-up Soho 119 brings cosmopolitan "lifestyle" to middle America. "We want to dress women in all of their lifestyle needs, with an international point of view, a New York sophistication, a sense of fun, sexiness and modernity." [WWD]
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dirt bag

Jennifer Aniston & John Mayer Have A Quickie

  • John Mayer and Jennifer Aniston spent the weekend in Mexico and you didn't. (PS: They stayed at Casa Aramara, the sprawling home owned by Girls Gone Wild dude Joe Francis.) [People]
  • Jen and John are already back in L.A. [E!]
  • Amy Winehouse fainted yesterday and was taken to the hospital "as a precaution." Her dad says "she's fine." [People]
  • Um, E! is saying that Heidi Klum's new tattoo says "Seal." Can't see it. At all. [E!]
  • Lindsay Lohan's been on the set of Labor Pains for a week and so far, so good.
    A producer says: "We were a little bit reluctant to work with her, but she's been amazing." The girl has gotten it together. [People]
  • Oh, and LL did not submit herself for an Emmy — but Britney Spears, Miley Cyrus and Mary-Kate Olsen are in the race. [L.A. Times]
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missdemeanors

"You’d Be Better Off [Spooging Into] Radioactive Waste Than Dropping A Load In Paris Hilton."


Welcome back to Missdemeanors, in which we issue virtual wrist-slaps to popular gossip bloggers for Crimes Against Womanity. According to these numbnuts, Samantha Ronson is a "man," Paris Hilton's lady bits are toxic waste equivalents, and Shauna Sand's vagina looks like a "badly packed suitcase." WTF Does that even mean? Check out the usual suspects and their patented brand of maleficent misogyny alongside some fitting punishments, after the jump. Let the Jezebel Justice system begin! More »

missdemeanors

Lily Allen Is "Tubby And Party-Hat Nippled"

Welcome back to Missdemeanors, in which we issue virtual wrist-slaps to popular gossip bloggers for Crimes Against Womanity. You know, we rage against the celebrity blogger machine every week for being anti-female, but maybe we should rage against them more frequently for being anti-funny. Because seriously? These people make the same. Jokes. Every. Damn. Week. Pregnant women are [insert word for "fat" here]; Paris Hilton is [insert term for "slut" here]. It's like playing misogynist madlibs with these fools. If they're going to be jerks, the least they could do is be moderately creative. But alas! Join us in applying some much deserved Jezebel justice to these cliché cocks, after the jump. More »

Britney is making a cameo in the new Pussycat Dolls video, "When I Grow Up." In the vid, Brit will be driving a car, waving at the Dolls as they pass…• Poor Janice Dickinson! Her lil' chocolate lab ran away. TMZ is being snarky about it because Janice is a loon, but you can't hate on a woman who lost her puppy. It just ain't right. • Oh GAWD. Paris Hilton pregnancy rumors are clogging up the internet because she was photographed with a teeny tummy "bump." [Us, TMZ, Dlisted]

Loose Lips So um. All that Angelina giving birth stuff we told you earlier? Totally made up. People has the skinny from Angelina's reps, who say, "Angelina has not given birth. She is fine, enjoying her home and her family in France." • This morning, the Long Island house of 50 Cent's ex-girlfriend and the mother of his 10-year-old son, Shaniqua Tompkins, burned down under suspicious circumstances, and now she's ranting to TMZ's cameras about how 50 is obsessed with her and wants to kill her. Yikes!!! • Paris Hilton's clothing line will be available this summer. If it's called "That's Hot" I'm going to shoot myself in the face. [People, TMZ, Just Jared]

rag trade

Paris Hilton's Fashion Will Embarrass Us All

  • The New York Times claims that if you put Paris Hilton in a fashion time capsule, the future members of our planet will eventually open it up and WTF? their asses off. [NY Times]

  • Fashionista reports that for the next Marc Jacobs ad campaign, celebs like Posh Spice and Dakota Fanning are out and regular models are in. I’m sitting on the edge of my seat waiting to see who the chosen, Juergen Teller-approved will be. [Fashionista]

  • LL Cool J is set to design a line of “hip-hop clothing” for Sears, which seems appropriate for some reason. Maybe it’s because LL Cool J knows fashion like, uh, Sears knows rap music? [WWD]
  • “They don't understand where the line is between sexy and vulgar. I know where that line is,” says designer Roberto Cavalli. Riiiiight. Read more to find out how much he dislikes Kate Moss’ clothes and how he wants undesirable women who wear his clothes to “give them back.” [Telegraph]

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rag trade

Perez Hilton For Hot Topic Leaves Us Kinda Cold

  • “There so many celebrity clothing lines out there that just really suck!” says Perez Hilton in this new video about his collaboration with Hot Topic. Thanks Perez, now there’s gonna be one more! [YouTube]

  • Fashion iconoclast and actress Chloe Sevigny is teaming up with the designers at Opening Ceremony again, this time to do a men’s line. The cool thing, and this shit has “cool” written all over it, is that the men’s clothing will be for women too. "Not only did I want to do something for the guys in my life, but a lot of my girlfriends prefer to wear men's stuff," Chloe says. Why hasn’t someone thought of doing this before? [fashionologie]
  • More Sex and the City fashion news! It never ends! The Notorious P.A.T. (that’s Patricia Field) has been tapped to create a line for England’s own Marks & Spencer (aka “Marks and Sparks” to London city-dwellers) this coming fall. [Telegraph]
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blaming the victim

Blackmail Gone Wild: Joe Francis's Scary Brush With Crime, Before He Was A Criminal

About 4 years ago, Joe Francis was on the receiving end of a crime that involved his being videotaped in a sexually explicit manner without his consent (or signed release form). His house was broken into, and when Francis returned home, a masked man was waiting there for him. The man bound and gagged Francis, stole a bunch of valuables, then pulled Francis's pants down, strategically placed a dildo by his ass, and forced Francis to say, in various "corny and creepy" ways that Francis was gay. The masked man — who later turned out to be (sexy) Hollywood conman Darnell Riley — then tried to blackmail Francis for up to $500,000 for the tape. And he would've gotten away with it, too, if it weren't for Paris Hilton, who was also being blackmailed by Riley. (She was the idiot who befriended him and introduced him to her social circle to begin with.) With Paris's help, police were able to arrest Riley, who copped a plea and is currently serving 8 years in prison for robbery and extortion. The irony is that he'll probably be a free man in a few years while Francis will likely be serving his term on tax evasion charges. The clip explaining the case, from VH1's documentary Hollywood Blackmail, is above.

clips

Paris Hilton's Doggie Polos Mean The Terrorists Have Won

David Letterman is a bona fie hero to me now: Last night he had Paris Hilton on the program, who he (sincerely? mockingly?) referred to as an "entrepreneur." (Check out the way Paris reflexively put her hand on her hip as she walked out onto the stage.) Then he took us through a heartfelt tour of some of the products she's currently shilling, from her canned Prosecco ("Champagne in a can is sexy") to her line of hair extensions ("Are these made with human hair?") to her line of designer doggie-wear. Clip — complete with accompanying 'Bolero' soundtrack — above.

almond joyless

Steve Almond's Daughter Exposes Him To The Humanity Behind Hollywood Harlots

Steve Almond has had a major, earth shaking revelation. The former daddy blogger has realized that "nubile" "media sluts" are actually ZOMG sensitive human beings! Almond went through 4 decades of his life without realizing his jerk-off material had flesh and blood and feelings. But then, just as he was turning 40, his girlfriend gave him an ultimatum: propose to me or I'm gone. So he proposed! A week after that, the girlfriend announced she was pregnant. Six months later, Steve's now-wife gave birth to a baby girl, Josephine. And she's what made him see women Lindsay Lohan and Paris Hilton as more than the sum of their (naked) parts. It's because he realized they have fathers, too! More »

snap judgments (weekend edition)

Jen Aniston Sunbathes • Brad & Angie Fly High • Heidi Klum Gives The Finger

Welcome back to the Monday morning edition of Snap Judgment, in which we publish the celebrity snaps that came in over the earlier part of the weekend. Inside: Lindsay Lohan, Sam Ronson, Jennifer Aniston, Naomi Campbell, Heidi Klum, Brad Pitt, Angelina Jolie, and Mark Ronson. All those - and others - in the gallery beginning below. (Click on the headline, then a pic to start gallery.)

Loose Lips American Pie star Jason Biggs got married to actress Jenny Mollen on April 23rd at Los Angeles City Hall without friends or family present. They've been dating for nine months, and they're currently on their honeymoon in Hawaii. Jealous! • Spencer Pratt will not shut up about this Lauren Conrad sex tape. Of Jason Wahler's denial, Pratt says, "We all know that it existed, that he tried to sell it and is now covering up to make himself look better." [Star, Us]

clips

Did Jimi Hendrix Really Wear His Lucky Headband When He Boned?

The Jimi Hendrix Sex Tape: has there ever been such a majestic parade of thoughtlings you never wanted to think? And the Hendrix estate having no comment: that means it's true, right? Or just that when you die your level of "shame" sinks down to Paris Hilton's? How did all those private detectives embark upon their "probe"? (I mean, private investigators: they can't get jobs like this a lot, right? It's pretty obscure shit. Think that in the course of this investigation, they uncovered some Lost Art of Boomer Sex Taping that predated the present Sex Tape era but everyone forgot because they were high, the way it went with the Chinese/gunpowder/opium? Will we ever know for sure? What was the first sex tape? If someone taped you having your haziest one night stand, unbeknownst to you, and then posted it on the internet, would you even be able to recognize yourself? And if the answer to that is "no," is that a good thing? Because my answer is no. Oh wait, and also am I the only one who didn't know there was a plaster model of Jimi Hendrix's schlong? The somewhat NSFW trailer is after the jump. More »

dirt bag

Miley Cyrus: Fifteen & Topless in Vanity Fair

  • The new issue of Vanity Fair isn't out yet, but Miley Cyrus is already warning fans that she's mortified of the semi-topless pictures of herself inside. "I took part in a photo shoot that was supposed to be 'artistic' and now, seeing the photographs and reading the story, I feel so embarrassed," she says. A starlet's first shameful shoot is a tale as old as time and a rite of passage, no? [Us Magazine]
  • The Disney Channel, which airs Miley's hit show, Hannah Montana, says: "Unfortunately... A situation was created to deliberately manipulate a 15-year-old in order to sell magazines." [People]
  • Ooooh here's a shot. Provocative? It's Annie Leibovitz, of course. She's really been controversial lately. [E!]
  • Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt did attend the White House Correspondents dinner on Saturday night. They sat at Fortune magazine's table. Other tidbits from that night: Colin Firth couldn't get into the Bloomberg party; Kal Penn (aka Kumar of Harold & Kumar) hung with Salman Rushie and claims he doesn't actually smoke weed; Pete Wentz shouted, "I just want to thank my girlfriend's vagina!" before he started DJing. Stay classy, D.C.! [Page Six]
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