[Malibu, March 26. Image via INFDaily.]

• In the documentary The September Issue, Anna Wintour and company make numerous bitchy comments about cover girl Sienna Miller's appearance, saying she's "toothy" and needs a haircut. This movie sounds more fascinating every day. [ONTD]

• Good news for Kelly Rutherford (and Gossip Girl fans). A judge has ruled that she will be allowed to take her son Hermes with her when she goes back to New York to film the show. Hermes will be bouncing between Rutherford and her soon-to-be ex-husband in New York and L.A. until they can reach a permanent custody agreement. [TMZ]
• An artist formerly signed to Sean "Diddy" Combs' Bad Boy Records is writing a tell all book to be released in February. He claims that Diddy would insert himself into his artists songs and videos and then charge them for the privilege of appearing with him. [The Daily Express]
• Amy Poehler just can't stop being delightful. On Monday's Ellen she presents the host with 250 feet of bubble wrap as a 51st birthday gift because she says that's her favorite part of a present. She also jokes while standing next to the giant roll, "My baby's in there ... I just wanted to keep him safe." [People]
• Sarah Jessica Parker and Matthew Broderick are joining J.Lo and Marc Anthony on the "our marriage is fine" tour. Parker and Broderick went to a Broadway show for a date night and held hands the whole time. When asked about rumors they they're breaking up, SJP said, "We don't even bother to address them." People]
• Madonna and Guy Ritchie's divorce settlement said that Lourdes would stay in the U.S. with her mom and the boys would divide their time between the U.S. and the U.K. But now Madonna and guy are fighting over which country the boys will attend school in. [The Daily Mail]
• According to Page Six Magazine, Jeremy Piven acted like a jerk at a recent photo shoot. When asked to do a head shot he said, "You want mediocre? I can give you mediocre." Then later he popped his collar, and "letting out a guttural moan," ripped the sleeves off a $350 Giorgio Armani shirt. Mercury poisoning sure makes a man do funny things. [People]
• A week ago Pam Anderson wrote to the Municipal Commissioner in Bombaby, Jairaj Phatak, urging him not to follow a court order to kill stray dogs. Now he has written a letter back, saying he has to kill the dogs because, “We are duty-bound to implement the law as interpreted by the courts in India.” [Hindustan Times]
• A radio station interviewed Brad Pitt's brother Doug Pitt about his brother's second Oscar nomination. “Let’s just say we were hopeful. But again, it’s a nice pat on the back," said Doug. "The movie stands on its own. But, what a great honor, for he, and Angie both." [KSMU]
• James Taylor says he's going to buy a fan a new iPod with his songs on it to replace an iPod she says police made her give a taxi driver in payment for a $49 ride to the airport from Manhattan after her credit card was declined. [International Herald Tribune]
• Wikipedia had to lock down Janis Jopin's page after last night's episode of 30 Rock because fans were changing her page like Frank did to trick Jenna, but you can still see a screen shot of the funny changes people made. [ONTD]
• Deep thoughts from Tom Cruise: He says of wearing a Nazi uniform for Valkyrie, "It was creepy, the first time I put it on, it was very peculiar.” [The Sun]
• In this video from Big Brother UK, Verne Troyer puts the moves on a baby doll and makes out with it. Why, Verne? Why? [Video Gum]
• Ugh, more disturbing news. Howard Stern learned more about Sanjaya's sexuality than humans want to know. Apparently he's willing to pose nude, but only in a "classy way" and he has measured a certain appendage. [DListed]
• Anne Hathaway says that sometimes society pushes an unrealistic body image on young girls, "But I'm a normal shape and Scarlett Johansson is not a skinny, skinny girl. Beyonce Knowles looks after herself and has a beautiful body. Reese Witherspoon looks great." Beyonce, Scarlett, and Reese probably think she's calling them fat. [The Daily Express]
• Agnetha Faltskog and Anni-Frid Lyngstad, the two female members of ABBA, say that despite rumors, they are not enemies. "A lot has been written about how Agnetha and I fought and quarreled with each other. There is absolutely no truth in that," said Lyngstad. "Of course we competed, but to good effect." [AP]
• Why did Demi Moore have to take one of her daughters to the Santa Monica Juvenile Traffic Court? Reports say they were shown a 30-minute video on reckless driving, but they left before it ended. [TMZ]
• It's clear what Rihanna sees in Chris Brown. In this adorable video from Sesame Street he sings and dances with Elmo. [Perez Hilton]
• Morrissey has some nutty comments about other celebs. He says chef Jamie Oliver is the man he's most like to "kick in the eye" because as a passionate vegetarian, "meat-fed horror Jaime 'Orrible'" is his natural enemy. He adds, "It will be worth being dead just to get away from Victoria Beckham." [The Daily Express]
• Mary-Kate Olsen will be on the cover of the March issue of Interview but there is still no word on who will be her interviewer. [Fashionista]
• The new Wii game "Ready 2 Rumble Revolution" will let players have celebs like Justin Timberlake, Brad Pitt, and Simon Cowell box each other. Sounds an awful lot like Celebrity Death Match, not that we're complaining. [AP]
• Aretha Franklin would make a great house guest, depending on how you feel about religious paraphernalia. She came to the inauguration bearing gifts for the entire Obama family, but those gifts included a Bible and a collection of her father's sermons for Barack and a Christian hip-hop CDs for Sasha and Malia. [USA Today]
• 50 Cent has been dissing Kanye West, but rather than re-igniting their feud, Kanye turned the other cheek and complimented 50, saying “So, for me as a fan of [50 Cent] I felt like if he said something negative and tried to make it like I’m negative,” said Kanye. “It’s almost like if a little kid walks up to you at the airport and is like, ‘Man, I love you so much,’ and then you spit on him.” Watch out 50! It sounds like a trap. [Rolling Stone]

• Kate Moss is staying in on her birthday. A pig on a spit, crates of alcohol, a tiger rug, and deer heads were delivered to her home for the gigantic party she's hosting. [Daily Mail]

• Update: Johnny Knoxville explains that the fake grenade in his bag that led to his being detained at LAX was a prop from a MTV show he was shooting. "When the shoot was over, the wardrobe girl packed my luggage so I could go home and, unbeknownst to me, she packed a FAKE hand grenade (a prop grenade that I'd taken to the shoot) in the front zipper of my luggage," says Knoxville. [People]
• Kimora Lee Simmons and Djimon Hounsou are expecting a baby! [Us]
• Pam Anderson wrote a letter to city authorities in Mumbai, India urging them to sterilize stray dogs rather than killing them. [BBC]
• People asked celebs what position they'd like in an Obama cabinet. Anne Hathaway, Corbin Bleu of High School Musical, and David Archuletta all want to have one-on-one time with Sasha and Malia, which is understandable but still kind of creepy. Also: The thought of Katy Perry being Secretary of State makes us shudder. [People]
• Rub-a-dub-dub, this is a video of Robert Pattinson getting scrubbed down by a man in a tub. [Perez Hilton]
• Here are the first pictures of Britney rehearsing for her new tour. She is dancing, but the cut-off top that exposes the bottom of her leopard print bra still seems like a sign that something is amiss. [ONTD]
• Hustler is working on a porn version of Happy Days. What's more shocking is that It Ain't Happy Days XXX is the best name they could come up with. [The Sun]
• Catherine Deneuve is suing the editor of a book which portrayed her father as a Nazi sympathizer during WWII. [Daily Express]
• Paris Hilton has lost her camera again. It contains personal photos from her trip to Australia. Fool her once, shame on you. Fool her twice ... can't fool her again. [Perez Hilton]
• In other Paris pic news, Karl Larsen, the man who shot that infamous picture of Paris crying in the back of a police car, is suing ABC News for running the photo without giving him credit. Instead, ABC attributed it to Nick Ut, the Pulitzer Prize winning photographer who shot the picture of the naked 9-year-old girl running from a napalm attack during the Vietnam War. [TMZ]
• Apparently Neil Young's new album, a musical commentary on the financial crisis, is so bad that his fans are hoping the record company won't release it. [The Guardian]
• TV "star" Doug Reinhardt, who Amanda Bynes just broke up with, is so creepy that he's making public comments about their relationship and claiming he broke up with her. This is what you get when you date Lauren Conrad's cast offs. [Perez Hilton]
• The "milk mustache" ad campaign is changing its slogan to "Drink well. Live well." Christie Brinkley, who was one of the first celebrities in the original 1995 ads, is included in the new campaign. [Ad Week]
• Ellen finally got George Clooney to come on her show after tons of begging. [People]
• Tom Hanks, an executive producer of Big Love says that Mormon support of Proposition 8 was "un-American." [Fox News]
• Ha. One Oklahoma man took advantage of Capital One's offer to add a personal photo to your credit card by uploading Nick Nolte's mug shot. The bank actually sent the man the card, then contacted him a few days later to recall it. [The Smoking Gun]
• A love letter written by Edith Piaf to a Greek actor is being auctioned. She wrote, "I love you like I have never loved. Taki, don't let my heart die!" [Reuters]
• Lindsay Lohan violated the terms of her probation when she moved out of Samantha Ronson's house. She was supposed to re-enroll in her alcohol education course at her new address, but she was 10 days late. Her lawyer cleared it up. [TMZ]
• Ugh. Pete Wentz and Ashlee Simpson will guest star on an episode of CSI: New York as Bonnie and Clyde wannabees. [Entertainment Weekly]
• Apparently Lipstick Jungle isn't 100% cancelled and there is some plot afoot to save the show, if you care. [Entertainment Weekly]
• The premiere of a new London play starring Richard Dreyfuss has been postponed because the actor couldn't learn his lines. In previews, he was having lines fed to him through an earpiece. [The Telegraph]
• Mira Sorvino broke five of her teeth while performing her own stunts for the upcoming TV mini-series The Knights Templar. [People]
• Faith Hill and Tim McGraw will be paying $13,000 to $15,000 for their D.C. hotel suite during the inauguration. Celebrities: They're not just like us! [TMZ]
• "I think she's a frosty-ass b**ch, and she said in The New York Times Magazine that she didn't like the way I used language. I'm a lyricist. Call it whatever the f**k you want, but don't talk about how I use language because how I use language is my bread and butter. - Courtney Love, on her grandmother. [Daily Express]

• Angelina was on the red carpet in New York over the weekend, talking about her family. "Everybody's great," she said. "The babies are getting big and healthy and developing personalities." She says she has been a "little bit" sleep deprived but she and Brad find relief: "We have some help a couple of nights a week, so on those nights we catch up on our sleep." [UPI]
• Brad Pitt was there too: They are obviously not broken up. [Daily News]
• More from Angie: "Even if we lock our door, the children come knocking. We often try to have a bath alone together at the end of the night and sit and talk, but they hear the water and want to jump in. But it’s fun and it’s lovely – the thing about having six is once you’ve passed three or four, it’s so crazy anyway that it’s just more chaos and it’s all OK." When asked if she feels if she has completed her family, Angie said, "No." [Mirror]
• Angie somehow found time for two new tattoos: She now has the map coordinates of Nice, France, where her twins were born. [LA Times]
• But! As for adopting more kids Angie says: "I think we're going to wait a little while." [People]

• Lindsay Lohan is also feeling brood-y. She says: "At some point, I want to adopt a kid… A child in need or a newborn from another country. I’m not sure yet." [Mirror]
• Samantha Ronson sent Perez Hilton a check for $86,832: The amount to cover his legal fees in her failed libel lawsuit. [E!]
• Lauren Conrad on the rumor that she hooked up with Justin Bobby: "These accusations are so crazy, it's difficult for me to take them seriously. While my usual taste in guys isn't always perfect, I do prefer they shower regularly." [E!]
• History was made Saturday night, when Tyler Perry became the first African-American ever to launch his own major TV and film studio. Oprah cried. [People]
• Speaking of Oprah, she is being sued by the former headmistress of the Big O's Leadership Academy for Girls in South Africa for defamation of character. [E!]
• Amy Winehouse supposedly received a "welcoming" phone call from the Church of Scientology, in which they offered her detox help. So crazy it just might work? [Mirror]
• Amy Winehouse has one thing going for her: She's not broke. [Mirror]
• Blake Incarcerated sent Amy's dad a "vile and abusive" letter filled with threats. Sigh. [The Sun]
• Holy crap, did Courtney Love have gastric band surgery to stay thin? [Perez Hilton]
• Eddie Van Halen: Engaged. [People]
• Elizabeth Taylor is "heartbroken" after the death of Paul Newman. They starred together in Cat On A Hot Tin Roof and were friends for years. [Daily Express]
• Gossip Girl is pulling in better ratings than it did a year ago, but the producer says "We try not to live and die by the ratings." [NY Daily News]
• David Letterman has a great Sarah Palin recap video. [Deadline Hollywood]
• Miss Jackson is still nasty: Janet has postponed 3 more shows our her tour due to illness. [AP]
• Bruno, aka Sacha Baron Cohen, was at the Stella McCartney show, being disruptive by clapping along to the music "way too loud." Paul McCartney was just a few seats away. [Daily Express]
• Victoria "Posh Spice" Beckham in yet another pair of ridiculous shoes. [The Sun]
• Johnny Depp wants to be in the Little Britain movie. Computer says yes? [Mirror]
• Madonna's Sticky & Sweet tour kicked off this weekend in New Jersey; there were "guest appearances" by Kanye West and Justin Timberlake and the performance was a "success." This review says: "The 50-year-old has toughened up, replacing some of the frothiness of her pure pop days with a bracing physicality." [Variety]
• Kylie Minogue was seen "looking cozy" with a "dark-haired mystery man" in Paris. Get it! [The Sun]
• Rachael Ray has a benign cyst on her vocal cord, which she'll have minor surgery to remove in early December. [UPI]
• So you know how we heard that Ali Lohan might work with Johnny Wright, who had produced Justin Timberlake and the Jonas Brothers? Johnny Wright says: "Johnny Wright has never met with Ali Lohan, has never been introduced to Ali Lohan, nor has he had a meeting with Ali or Dina Lohan regarding Ali's music career. While he wishes Ali Lohan the best in all her endeavors, Mr. Wright has never had any intention of speaking with Ali Lohan regarding her career. Any story that has surfaced about such a meeting holds no merit and is completely false." Haha wow. [Page Six]
• Salma Hayek wore a traditional Bavarian dress on German TV and her cups runneth over. [The Sun]
• Pam Anderson delivered Hugh Hefner's birthday cake — in the nude. [Mirror]
• Beyoncé's "wedding" ring is about 18 carats and worth about $4.3 million dollars. Don't drop it down the drain! [Daily Mail]
• Blind items! #1: "Which wife of a rock superstar has been punishing him for going to strip clubs without her? The spouse has spent about $30 million on a house they don't really need to get back at him for not including her in his adventures." #2: "Which boy-band member is going to shock his female fans when he comes out of the closet?" [Page Six]
• Emma Thompson says her her biggest accomplishment in life was "giving birth without painkillers" and her happiest moment was: "just after giving birth without painkillers." [Daily Express]
• David Hasselhoff's ex-wife blabs about the Hoff being a drunk: "He’s an alcoholic. He has a disease, just like cancer." [Daily Mail]
• Shakira's for Obama. [AP]
• Rumer Willis was named after the British writer Rumer Godden: "I don’t know whether my mom had read much of her stuff, I guess she may have just been in a bookshop and liked the sound of it. I used to get teased at school, Rumer Tumor, that kind of thing, but I’ve got used to it. You do." [Times Of London]
• David Spade has texted Heather Locklear to check in with her. He says: "I think there's no one that doesn't feel for her or have nice things to say about her in my experience." [People]
• Bond vs. Bond! Sean Connery's new book, Being A Scot, has sold only 5,000 copies since its release in August. Roger Moore's biography, My Word Is Bond, is doing much better. [Telegraph]
• Emma "Baby Spice" Bunton says The Spice Girls are over. "We're all in our 30s now and, let's face it, by then most people aren't doing the same thing they were when they were 18, which is how old I was when I first met the girls. I'm ready to move forward." [Daily Mail]
• A judge has ordered a Texas doctor and his wife not to distribute video footage of Anna Nicole Smith's breast augmentation surgery in 1994. Thanks, judge. [The Star UK]
• Joss Stone will make her small screen debut in The Tudors, playing Henry VIII's wife Anne of Cleves. [Daily Express]
• Andrew Lloyd Webber doesn't want his kids to inherit his £750million fortune. He says: "They aren’t bothered. They don’t think that way. It is about having a work ethic – I don’t believe in inherited money at all. I am not in favour of children suddenly finding a lot of money coming their way because then they have no incentive to work." [Mirror]
• Does Marilyn Manson owe his former bandmate $20 million in back pay? He'll be in court November 3 and we'll find out. [E!]
• Sad face: Carol Channing fell at her home and broke her leg and hip. Speedy recovery! [Modesto Bee]
• If you want to know all about John Lennon's adultery pact, when he left Yoko Ono for a year of "reckless debauchery" and told her, "You must take a lover too," then click here. [Daily Mail]
• Kevin Bacon will produce a Showtime series called The Booths about the man who would assassinate Abraham Lincoln. [Variety]
• Rod Stewart's son is in rehab. [The Sun]
• Jude Law picked up some dancer at a club in NYC and she stayed "holed up" in his hotel room for three days. [Page Six]
• There's Bull Durham sequel in the works. No, really. [Page Six]
• "I'm going to stop playing when I'm 67 and work on what I really want to do, which is to be a minister, like Little Richard." — Carlos Santana. [Reuters]
• "I've always admired her talent. She's somewhat hampered sometimes by having this gorgeous face, the most gorgeous face on the planet. She's on covers and all that stuff. But she is a great talent, and it would be easy to overlook that, except after seeing this you realize that she is this great, talented person." — Clint Eastwood on Angelina Jolie, who stars in The Changeling, which he directed. [People]
• "I really loved my husband's penis. It was really pretty." — Pink. [Mirror]

• Yesterday we heard there was no sex tape; today Britney wants to buy the tape she made with Adnan Ghalib from him, so she can destroy it. Even if they're not having sex on the video, she's probably loopy and naked. She might need to give this guy a lot of cash to make him go away. [The Sun]
• Meanwhile, Adnan Ghalib has filed for divorce. Don't forget: He was married the whole time he was dating Brit. [TMZ]
• New show Rock of Love Bus with Bret Michaels has been halted after a crew member driving a production vehicle fell asleep at the wheel and killed two 19-year olds in another vehicle. Bret says: "As a father of two, I cannot even imagine what the families must be going through at this time. I will make every attempt to reach out to them to let them know that my heart and prayers are with them during their time of grief." As of yet, neither Bret nor VH1 have contacted the families. [Perez Hilton]
• Angelina Jolie: In therapy? So are millions of Americans. More on this in Midweek Madness. [Star]
• DJ AM and and Paris Hilton have been texting. He wrote to her: "so lucky to be alive." Paris says: "I think God saved him." [E!]
• You know how Courtney Love said Kurt Cobain's ashes had been stolen? An Australian artist named Natascha Stellmach claims to have the ashes. She plans on putting the ashes in a joint and SMOKING them in a joint in a "secret Berlin location." Then she will announce that she feels stupid and contagious. [NY Mag]

• Sharon Stone wanted her 8-year-old son to get Botox injections in his feet. This was revealed in some custody papers; apparently the kid had a "problem" with "foot odor." Mom suggested Botox; the kid's dad, Phil Bronstein, thought of the "simple and common sense approach" of making sure the boy wore socks and used foot deodorant. [LA Times, TMZ, HuffPo]
• Jennifer Aniston is tanorexic! She bought two tanning beds — at $34,000 each — for her L.A. home after the one she had broke. "She freaked out because the next day, she had a major photo shoot," sez a source. "She had to go to a public tanning place. She learned her lesson after that — always have a back-up." Or, you know, just go to Mexico. [Star]
• This picture of Heather Locklear "arriving" at the police station after her DUI bust is just sad. [The.Life Files]
• Oh, wow: The woman who dialed 911 on Heather Locklear is Jill Ishkanian, a former Us Weekly staffer who was under investigation by the FBI. Right after she called authorities, she called a paparazzi agency. Plus: Ishkanian apparently is the only witness who says Lockelear was driving erratically and that she was drunk, even though it's already established she was not under the influence of alcohol. Ishkanian was in the movie America The Beautiful talking about using celebrities. She runs CelebrityBabylon.com. [TMZ]
• Lindsay Lohan may be on vacation in Mexico but her legal troubles never take a break. Her lawyers were in court seeking dismissal of a portion of a lawsuit filed against her by her former bodyguard, David Kim. He claims she owes him money; LL's lawyers sat there's no evidence of fraud. [E!]
• Daniel Craig was in East Hampton and heard bagpipes coming from inside a restaurant. He walked in and found out it was a baptism celebration. Craig ended up holding the baby and posing for photos. The softer side of Bond! [Page Six]
• Despite reports that it's back on, Jimmy Kimmel and Sarah Silverman are just friends, says a publicist. So calm down. [UPI]
• Oh no: Audrina Patridge wants her own show. And MTV is actually discussing it with her! [Perez Hilton]
• Sean Penn's playing San Francisco’s first openly gay politician, Harvey Milk, in a new film. Apparently after kissing James Franco, Sean texted Madonna: "I just broke my cherry kissing a guy. I thought of you. I don’t know why." Madonna wrote back: "Congratulations." [LA Times]
• Speaking of Madonna, the trailer for her film looks not half bad. [Jossip]
• Two high school girls were suspended for dancing to Katy Perry's song at a football game. It was Texas, where "I Kissed A Girl" is threatening, apparently. [Perez Hilton]
• Do not make the mistake of listening to Paris Hilton's techno-tinged new song about finding a new best friend. Just don't. Some of us haven't fully recovered. [People]
• Beyoncé's new CD probably will not be done in time for her Nov. 18 release date. [Rush & Molloy]
• Mark Wahlberg's son was born on Sept. 16 but Mark and his fiancée Rhea Durham just settled on a name: Brendan Joseph. [E!]
• Yes! YES! Jack White and Alicia Keys in the video for the new Bond song, "Another Way To Die." [People]
• Katie Price, the "glamour model" known as Jordan, and her husband Peter Andre, might be breaking up. [Perez Hilton]
• Oh wait, here they are leaving a club all kissy kissy. [The Sun]
• Kendra from Girls Next Door and Joe Francis: Seen making out in Miami. [Page Six]
• Simon Pegg is learning how to lose friends and alienate people. He said of Ricky Gervais: "He said there'd been no good British films since 1950. What an idiot. If you go to LA, you can get sucked into that." [Telegraph]
• Some film exec on Forest Whitaker: "Ugly, black, and unbankable." [StereoHyped]
• There's no street named after Lou Reed in New York, and he thinks that's bullshit. He says: "Lou Reed Way would be nice. Any little street would do." [Gothamist]
• Fast food joint Sonic wants to target young women, so they're creating a bunch of episodic-type ads to run during The Hills. [Brandweek]
• Britain's Daily Star published a picture of Sienna Miller cornered by more than a dozen cameramen while waiting for an elevator, red-faced and near tears. She sued; stating she was clearly in distress and being harassed; the tabloid paid her $27,000 in damages and issued an apology. [E!]
• Kenny Chesney is making like Diddy and getting into the booze biz. He's developing a "premium rum" with Constellation Spirits. [UPI]
• Russell Crowe knows how to fix the economy: "I have been intently watching the political process," he says. "If they want to stimulate the economy and get people spending so they can look after their mortgage ... give everyone $1 million.'' Except that would be 300 trillion dollars, way more than the $700 billion bailout package. [News.com.au]
• Kim Kardashian is not married, she just calls her boyfriend "hubby." Or "Papa Bear." [E!]
• Kim was booted from Dancing With The Stars last night, on the 5th anniversary of her father's death. Robert Kardashian was best known for being OJ Simpson's lawyer. [Yahoo News]
• Three people who work on Madonna's tour speak about the costumes, the concept and Her Madgesty. The costume designer says: "Madonna has eight costume changes. And everyone gets doubles of everything, including the shoes, to last the duration of the tour. Madonna sometimes has up to six copies of one particular outfit so that it always looks fresh and great. […] We develop a lot of her clothes ourselves. So we go to the end of the earth if we have to to find the right fabric. Or if we have shoes made, we collaborate with wonderful people at Miu Miu and Prada. Madonna gets to play different characters, whether it's a sexy robot or a gypsy." [NY Daily News]
• The weird thing about Stephen Colbert being in the comic of Spider-Man is that you end up staring at his illustrated crotch. [Perez Hilton]
• Janet Jackson is out of the hospital. It was probably exhaustion, says boyfriend Jermaine Dupri. "A 42-year-old body can't handle what a 22-year-old body can," he says. "I can tell you that she's definitely tired." [People]
• Oh, but while Janet was in the hospital, Jermaine was out partying. [E!]
• Billy Joel is helping to pay for the funeral of a fisherman whose body was found not far from his house in Long Island. Joel says: "I’ve always supported our local commercial fishermen. These are the people, both men and women, who have to go out in all types of conditions to bring us our fish." [NY Times]
• A letter written by a young Princess Diana in which she admitted trying to marry off her elder sister to her future husband Prince Charles has been sold at auction for £12,000. [Yahoo News]
• Bollywood is on strike! Movie shoots are canceled! [Yahoo News]
• "She told me that you can't have both a love life and a career in pictures at the same time, and it has proven to be true - she was right." — Patricia Arquette's memory of working with Bette Davis. [Page Six]
• "Paul Newman told me his hotel in Chicago was a room at the YMCA, which was not hard to imagine. He considered himself just another member of the acting company, who would call his wife during breaks and confess to feeling self-conscious on the first day of shooting. But he was Paul Newman, and could not mask the fact he was simply – yet elegantly – an extraordinary artist and man. How lucky we all have been." — Tom Hanks. [People]
• "Bad boys just keep following me around." — Pamela Anderson. [The Sun]

• Following the terrible plane crash in which drummer Travis Barker and Adam "DJ AM" Goldstein were seriously injured, there were reports that Chris Baker, Travis's friend and business partner, was on his way to be home with his pregnant wife. These reports were erroneous. [Yahoo News via E!]
• Both Lindsay and Sam blogged about the horrifying plane crash. Wrote LL: "It's so scary to think that life can end so fast...we must all treasure each and every moment—and be thankful for what we have." [E!]
• Travis Barker is burned "mostly from the waist down." DJ AM is "really really badly burned," and the worst is on his face. [E!]
• Mandy Moore has rushed to the bedside of ex-boyfriend DJ AM. Travis Barker's ex-wife Shanna Moakler hopped a flight to be with Travis. [E!]
• Random celebs react to the DJ AM and Travis Barker news. [E!]
• DJ AM and Travis Barker could be hospitalized for weeks but are expected to fully recover. [CNN]
• A tire blowout could be to blame for the plane crash. [People]

• At the Emmys last night, the dresses were pretty, but boring. Christina Applegate looked awesome. [Yahoo News]
• On the red carpet last night, Christina Applegate said: "I've got a pretty dress on and lipstick, and [it's] something I haven't done in two months." She also addressed her breast cancer and the double mastectomy she endured: "For me to have a voice and be the voice of a 30-something-year-old girl going through this and dispelling the misnomers that it's an older woman's disease is a big part of this for me." [People]
• This report says that since the Golden Globes were almost canceled and the Oscars were anticlimactic, the Emmys were festive and glamourous but not ridiculously over the top. [MSNBC]
• Tina Fey lost her purse during the Emmys. She also said of Sarah Palin: "I want to be done playing this lady Nov. 5. So if anybody can help me be done playing this lady Nov. 5, that would be good for me." [AP]
• Is Lindsay coming out, little by little, on her MySpace — instead of in one big "Yes, I'm gay" cover story on a tabloid mag? [LA Times]
• Someone is trying to sell 12 pictures from Casey Aldridge's digital camera that show Britney Spears, Jamie Lynn Spears, daughter Maddie and Casey… and in one picture, Jamie Lynn is breastfeeding Maddie and her breast is exposed. Because JLS is a minor, selling or buying the pix could be a violation of child pornography laws, even though they're not sexual. [TMZ]
• George Michael was arrested with crack in a public restroom. Um. Crack as in drugs. Not ass crack. As far as we know. He was taken to a police station and given a "caution." [BBC News]
• George Michael says: "I want to apologise to my fans for screwing up again, and to promise them I'll sort myself out. And to say sorry to everybody else, just for boring them." [Perez Hilton]
• Comic Sandra Bernhard says a "gang rape" joke she made about Sarah Palin was part of her act. "I certainly wish Governor Palin no harm. I'd just like her to explain to me how she can hold such outrageous views — and then go back to Alaska." [UPI]
• Scarlett Johansson and Ryan Reynolds were out on the Lower East Side of New York recently wearing matching bowler hats. They went to some bar and the doorman wanted to take a picture with Scarlett when she snapped, "I'm not the Statue of Liberty." [Page Six]
• Jack McBrayer, who plays Kenneth on 30 Rock, says Jennifer Aniston's stint for the show was "fantastic." "I think we are all star-struck with her." [People]
• Singer Natalie Cole, who recently revealed she had hepatitis C, has been hospitalized as a result of side effects from her medication and a heavy promotional schedule. [USA Today]
• Mel Gibson just bought David Duchovny and Tea Leoni's Malibu home for $11.5 million. Hmm, liquidation of assets… Are David and Tea going to get divorced? [TMZ]
• Ali Lohan hopped on the back of a male friend's motorcycle and had to be rushed to the hospital for minor injuries after a minor accident last month. She got "scraped up." A friend says, "I think she may have wanted to impress this boy." [ONTD]
• Miley Cyrus is sick of being Hannah Montana. [ONTD via TMZ]
• Kate Moss and Jamie Hince have split up and it is FINAL. [The Sun]
• A "mystery hunk" gave Kate Moss a lapdance. [Mirror]
• Does Pete Doherty want Kate Moss back? [Mirror]
• Hugh Grant and Jemima Khan: Back on. [Daily Express]
• Victoria "Posh Spice" Beckham says: "You know, I could just go shopping every day and sit on my bum. But I’d be so bored. I don’t even go shopping any more. I run four miles, seven days a week. I am eating more. I think you do eat more when you’re working out." She also says her new short hair wasn't her idea: "I just told the hairdresser to use his imagination." [The Sun]
• Sienna Miller is going to be in that Guy Ritchie Sherlock Holmes film, which means she'll be reunited with Jude Law on screen. Awkward! [Mirror]
• The woman who is suing two photographers and a paparazzi agency over a video that shows Heath Ledger doing drugs has amended her lawsuit. [News.com.au]
• Kanye West, John Legend, Sheryl Crow, Stevie Wonder and others can be heard on Yes We Can: Voices of a Grassroots Movement, a CD for sale exclusively through Barack Obama's campaign. [USA Today]
• John Lennon had a terrible temper and once screamed into son Sean's ear so loudly his ear was damaged and he had to go to the hospital. [Page Six]
• Heather Mills is donating one million dollars worth of vegan food to children in the South Bronx, one of the poorest neighborhoods in New York. What kids in the ghetto dream of: Soy burgers. [The Star]
• Heather says: "The public adores me... I haven't got a bad word to say about Paul... men are falling over themselves to ask me out... my only interest in life is helping others." [Daily Mail]
• Holland Taylor, who plays Charlie Sheen's mom on Two And A Half Men, commented on the news that Charlie and his wife Brooke are expecting a baby: "I think he's a wonderful daddy to his girls – he just adores them, he's very sweet with them. [But] it will be very interesting to see Charlie with a boy. It'll bring out a whole other side of him, I'm sure." [People]
• Arnold Schwarzenegger confirms that he used to smoke weed with Tommy Chong. [TMZ]
• Robert Wagner had an affair with Barbara Stanwyck, his co-star in the 1953 film Titanic, who was 23 years his senior. [Reuters]
• Jamie Oliver and his wife Jools are expecting a new baby to join daughters Poppy Honey, 6 and Daisy Boo, 5. May we suggest some possible names? Violet Love, Rose Sugar, Carnation Milk. [Mirror]
• Steven Tyler performed in pants he'd gotten from Cher. [Fox 411]
• Jenna Jameson and Tito Ortiz: Having twins. [Perez Hilton]
• You know how Audrina moved out of Lauren Conrad's house? It was supposed to be an "exclusive" story for a major tabloid mag. But now everyone knows. But! Since she already signed a deal, Audrina gets to keep the money. We'll see what Us Weekly has on the cover on Wednesday. [TMZ]
• Holly Madison and Criss Angel: Still hanging out in Las Vegas, though they deny that they're dating. They were seen dancing and kissing in a club. [Perez Hilton]
• Rachel Bilson will star in an indie romance in which she plays a TV actress living in Hollywood. Way to show your range! [Variety]
• David Blaine will hang upside down above Central Park for 60 hours and could go blind due to the blood pressure in his eyes. Additionally, he could bore us to tears. [Mirror]
• Be prepared to take Mariah Carey seriously as an actress: She plays the battered wife of a state trooper in Tennessee, and just got cast in Push, where she'll play a Harlem social worker. She's also developing a movie musical based, um, on her Christmas album. [Rush & Molloy]
• "I gained five pounds and it’s like a national scandal." — Eva Longoria. [The Sun]
• "I will no longer attempt to do any sports movie, anymore. Any sports. No golf movie. I'm retired from sports-genre films. You know, I think I filled my quota." — Will Ferrell. [USA Today]
• When you were younger, did you ever dream about being royalty? "No. I was a tomboy. When I was a child, I made mud pies—sort of just adding water to mud and squishing it together. I didn't wear a skirt until I think I was 14. The princess thing was the last thing on my list." — Keira Knightley. [Newsweek]
• "My breasts have had a brilliant career. I've just tagged along for the ride." — Pamela Anderson. [Daily Mail]
• "I'm 37. I have nothing to say about the new 90210. Who gives a shit." — Sarah Silverman. [E!]

[Sydney, August 29. Image via Bauer-Griffin]

• Michael Phelps isn't really looking for a girlfriend. "I am 23 now and if I went out with a girl she wouldn’t see much of me until I get past 30," he explains. That's just silly! Ladies see plenty of you. When you're wearing a swimsuit. [Daily Express]
• David and Victoria Beckham's "car crash" was actually just a car that got all scratched and jacked up when it was left parked at the airport. Posh's rep says: "There was no car crash." [Perez Hilton]
• Barack Obama has asked Jennifer Hudson to sing the national anthem on Thursday at the Democratic National Convention before his address. She is "thrilled" and "excited." [People]
• Was "vote or die" Diddy asked not to come to the DNC? [MSNBC]
• Oh, dear: Justin "I'm A Mac" Long seen kissing Kirsten Dunst. [Rush & Molloy]
• More barftastic car crash terrible can't-look-away Heidi Montag video pix. Sorry. [ONTD]

• Countess LuAnn de Lesseps of The Real Housewives of NYC got drunk at a wedding, knocked over a drumset, tried to make out with married men and grabbed crotches… or did she? Truth or smear campaign? [Page Six]
• Victoria's Secret model Alessandra Ambrosio is shopping pix of her newborn, Anja Louise, born Sunday in Brazil. Proceeds go to the Multiple Sclerosis Children's Fund. Any takers? [Page Six]
• Janeane Garofalo played Lauren Conrad in a staged reading of The Hills? Genius. [L.A. Times]
• Britney Spears' SUV took a wrong turn and ended up in L.A.'s Sunset Junction street fair, aka Hipster Central. She got out of there real quick. [E!]
• Courteney Cox was involved in a car crash while on vacation in Hawaii. She was driving a white BMW which collided with a red truck on Saturday. No one was injured. [Daily Mail]
• How does Paula Abdul feel about the new American Idol judge? "I am concerned about the audience and acceptance," she says. "Time will tell. We’ll see. [It's] going to be weird if it’s a split decision. I’m sure Simon will get to make the final [judgment]. [But that] takes the fun out of all the hard work I do to push those kids through." [MSNBC]
• Um, Rhys Ifans is in a band? Called The Peth? And their first single is called "Let's Go Fucking Mental"? And the video is of Rhys' colonoscopy? You can see it here. [Perez Hilton]
• Whee! Cloris Leachman and Susan Lucci to be on Dancing With The Stars! (Also: Kim Kardashian, Lance Bass, Toni Braxton, Misty May-Treanor and track star Maurice Green.) [Reuters]
• Madonna had to stop going to her gym because of "noise, leering, crude comments and wolf whistles of builders working nearby." Effing hell. [Mirror]
• Pam Anderson revelations: When asked "boobs or legs?" she says she is "more of a leg person" (?!?!?!) and when questioned about bikini waxing says, "I have not waxed anything in my entire life. An eyebrow, not an anything. I have never ever done that. It sounds too painful." [News.com.au]
• Spike Lee is upset with the people who think Barack Obama is not black enough. "I go by the 'one-drop rule.' One drop [of black blood], and you're black. The truth is, every African-American is biracial. Go back far enough, and you'll find the massah was in the slave quarters. You can't be black and go to Harvard Law School? You can't be black and be articulate?" [Rush & Molloy]
• Heath Ledger's uncle has failed to have his charges of receiving stolen goods dealt with and faces up to 14 years in jail. [Sydney Morning Herald]
• In a quest for relevance, Jessica Simpson has joined the Country Music Association. She gets special-rate health insurance and can vote in upcoming CMA Award nominations. Anyway, her album, Do You Know, comes out September 9 and Dolly Parton duets on the title track; after that you can go back to not caring about Jess. [Yahoo News]
• Kate Hudson is being sued by some scientists who claim she took their hair-care secret ingredient and gave it to a competitor. Something about volcanic ashes and flyaways. [The Root]
• Shannen Doherty is having fun shooting the new 90210: "It's been a really nice experience…We already have our little inside jokes." And! Lori Loughlin and Rob Estes play parents who are not like your usual sitcom couple. Estes says: "It's not a mom and dad who are home eating bon bons. It's a couple who's fucking! We'll clear the kitchen so fast, you don't know what to do with yourself." [Perez Hilton]
• OMG remember the 90210 action figures dolls? [Black Book]
• Yesterday reports claimed that Snoop Dogg was getting a visa to tour in Australia despite his criminal record; today officials are "rethinking" giving him permission to enter the country. He could be counseled before arrival and given strict behavior rules to abide by while down under. [Reuters]
• Harry Potter studio Warner Bros is suing Bollywood producers over a flick called Hari Puttar. [Telegraph]
• Actress Sophie Monk was seen walking out of a KFC in Hollywood with bags filled with food — she's bragged in the past about being a vegetarian and criticized KFC eaters, saying: "I think the message to KFC eaters (is that) you should think about what you're eating. If you're eating deformed animals that are being induced by hormones, you know, it can not be good for you." [News.com.au]
• Salman Rushdie's former bodyguard is apologizing over allegations he made regarding Rushdie's former marriage. [Independent]
• Trisha Yearwood survived a plane emergency: Her aircraft's window cracked at 30,000 feet. They never lost cabin pressure, fortunately. [People]
• "I think The Osbournes, to a degree, tarnished the public's perception of my dad as a bit of a senile, funny, bumbling guy. Yeah, my dad can be that guy, but it's not him. I think that almost discredited him as an artist. My dad's not an idiot — he's nothing short of a genius, in my opinion." — Jack Osbourne, who is producing a documentary on Ozzy. [Rolling Stone]
• RIP Aaliyah, who died this day in 2001. [The.Life Files]

Us
This cover, showing a beaming Michelle and Barack Obama emblazoned with the words "Why Barack Loves Her," is perhaps part of the subtle image makeover we referred to earlier. Us seems very concerned with portraying the clearly awesome Michelle as a non-threatening soccer mom, and more importantly, differentiating her from Hillary. Says a friend: "[Michelle] is not the least bit interested in being a co-president or participating in policy decisions…Her first priority as a first lady would be that the girls are OK, and to continue to be the outstanding mother that she is." We always go straight to Us for astute political coverage. In other news, Hollywood wags think Katherine Heigl's career will be fine despite her ankling the Emmys. Pam Anderson and Tommy Lee are back together for the umpteenth time. They're like Bobby and Whitney but with exponentially more body modification. Finally, here's some news for all the hipsters out there: supermodel Helena Christensen has been "cozying up" to Interpol lead singer Paul Banks for over six months!
Grade: C (a timeshare in Cleveland)
In Touch
Rut roh! Angelina and Brad's CRISIS AT HOME in huge pink letters! They have a lot of babies, it's exhausting, it's possibly pulling them apart, and so on, and so forth. The only good part of this four page spread is the sidebar where Dr. Drew gives Angelina the business about her whole Mother Theresa routine. "I've never seen anyone remit heroin completely," Dr. Drew said. "Is she in recovery? If she's in recovery, I don't seen any evidence of it, because people in recovery invest themselves in simple, selfless acts of service, not global self-serving acts." Burn!!! On to matters of life and death: Did Mariah Carey have plastic surgery? Survey says: Probs. Her yo-yo dieting is well known and after her most recent weight loss, she has mysterious, Tara Reid-reminiscent ripples on her tummy. The liposuction of Mimi! Bret Michaels bonded with Sherri Shepherd when he went on The View because they both have diabeetus, but he wants to do it with Elisabeth Hasselbeck. "Barbara Walters was pretty hot," Bret admitted, "but Elisabeth Hasslebeck and me, I'm just telling her, if her husband ever falls out of the picture…" Scariest tabloid news of the week: Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt spent $10,000 on guns because Spencer wants to be "prepared for anything." Can't wait for the Branch Davidianish FBI raid on the Speidi compound…
Grade: C+ (an unheated shack on the coast of Maine)
Star
More Brangelina business. Angie has panic attacks due to the stress of her pregnancy and Shiloh's terrible twos. Apparently she's worried about how she's going to handle "two more needy little ones in an already chaotic household." Uh, probably with the army of nannies she already employs. Miley Cyrus reportedly gets thousands of love letters from prisoners, "who claim they've taped her picture up in their cells." Creepy to the max!! Was Matthew McConaughey macking on strange ladies during a recent trip to Nicaragua while his super-pregs girlfriend Camilla Alves languished at home? If the photos are any indication (see Fig. A below), the answer is yes. An amused onlooker tells Star, "He grabbed the DJ's microphone, crawled onto a table and screamed 'I lost my flip-flops!' in broken Spanish!" Britney and Jamie Lynn are none too pleased about mom Lynne's forthcoming memoir, Through The Storm: A Real Story of Fame and Family in a Tabloid World, which includes such revelations as Britney bit her nails as a kid. Shocking! And lastly, Jen wants boyfriend of thirty seconds John Mayer to marry her, but he's not down. Hmm, sounds dubious.
Grade: D+ (a metal trailer in Death Valley)
Ok!
Jeebus. Even more Angelina news. This time she's not stressed. In fact, she's so into all her babies, Ok! says, she's looking to adopt another boy. She'll get the lucky young tyke from the same Ethiopian orphanage where she found wee Zahara. Ange wants to "balance the races" in her household and since Maddox has Pax, now it's "Z's turn." Speaking of babies, Britney will charter a jet to Kentwood, Louisiana, the second lil' sis Jamie goes into labor. There are rumblings that Prince William and on-again, off-again flame Kate Middleton will be married next summer. Why did Anne Hathaway stay with scuzzy Raffaello Follieri for so long? Because he's a baaaad boy, of course. "[Women] believe that if we are wonderful enough, beautiful enough or sexy enough, we will cure them of their bad ways, and make ourselves all the more beautiful," Dr. Jenn Berman tells Ok!. Ugh. In other douche-dating news, David Spade says "girls date me because I'm normal." Good to know.
Grade: D- (a motel room on Three Mile Island)


Life & Style
Just when you thought she was getting better, L&S dredges up some old dirt: Britney tried to off herself twice, says a new book. Ian Halperin, an investigative journalist who is writing a bio of Brit tells L&S, "I can't divulge too much, but I will say the suicide attempts are true. I know all the details of both of them>" The book is also about how "sleazy and destructive" her handlers were, and how Britney is obsessed with Marilyn Monroe's tragic fate. The formerly self-destructive Nicole Richie is "back to her old ways" and is losing weight. She and Joel madden are fighting a lot and she's stressed out by baby Harlow. Unlike Nicole Richie, another Nicole (Kidman) is trying to gain weight. She thinks her baby bump is too small and wishes it were bigger. She also wishes that her jugs were bigger. Are Mariah and Nick already on the rocks? "I give the marriage six months, tops," says an insider.
Grade: D- (a teepee in Chernobyl)
Fig. A:

• Gavin Rossdale says he and Gwen Stefani are not going paint the unborn baby's room pink or blue: They're going to paint it black. Goth bébé, aww. [E!]
• John Mayer looooves to fuck with us. That's why he let himself be photographed carrying a "prescription bag" with a note that read "Experimental Human Growth Hormones, 2x daily." Haha, yeah, we know, The Hulk comes out today. Calm down. [E!]
• Even if you could not care less about John Mayer and Jennifer Aniston, they do "look good together," and I hate when people say that. But it's true. Look at them. [ET]
• Is everything OK between Sam Ronson and Lindsay Lohan? Instead of really DJing a party she was hired to spin, Sam was "uneasy and jittery," a spy says. "All she did was pop in CDs and spent much of the night outside on the phone, texting and chain-smoking." [Rush & Molloy]
• Marcia Cross was in a minor car accident yesterday, but "everyone is fine." [ET]
• Tommy Lee and Pamela Anderson? Back together? Head. Exploding. [E!]
• Supermodel Adriana Lima is engaged! The lucky dude is basketball player Marko Jaric; they've been dating for nine months. Freakishly tall and attractive kids to come? [People]

• Rumor! Rashida Jones! Office spinoff! Rumor! [E!]
• Jon Voight as a villain on 24? That's good casting. [Just Jared]
• Colombia's foreign minister is upset by the lyrics in Carla Bruni's song, the one that goes: "You are my drug / More deadly than Afghan heroin / More dangerous than white Colombian." Uh, well, as this paper notes: "Colombia produces more than 80% of the world's cocaine." Ha! [Daily Express]
• The eight-man, four-woman jury rewatched the sex tape before beginning deliberations in the R. Kelly child porn trial yesterday. What do we think? Will they find him guilty? [E!]
• Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon may cancel their lavish $2 million wedding because no one wants to pay for pictures of the event? Tragic! For them. We consider ourselves lucky. [ONTD, via PopCrunch]
• Heidi Montag: Seen wearing a T-shirt that reads, "I want more privacy." Hahaha, fuck you. [ONTD]
• OMG they're making a new Witch Mountain movie? Mine my childhood some more, why don't you. [ET]
• It's tough to explain why I love these pictures of Naomi Campbell drunkenly passing out on the street. [The Sun]
• Naomi Campbell as a bridesmaid? Boggles the mind. [Page Six]
• A battle of the biceps involving Mario Lopez and his A Chorus Line co-star? The end result being that the co-star got a 2(x)ist underwear ad? It's too early for this. [Page Six]
• Someone swiped a $15,000 suitcase full of "bling" from a Russell Simmons Jewelry employee. Isn't Russ into like, yoga and meditation, not huge rocks? [Page Six]
• Director Guillermo del Toro (Pan's Labyrinth) will never do rom coms. "Sleepless in Seattle can go fuck itself," he says. "Monsters are the most beautiful creatures in the universe. I have no interest in everyday life, except through a twisted mirror." [Page Six]
• Little Coco Arquette: Seen wearing long blond wig and "vamping it up" at a Hollywood hot spot. Apparently she "kept asking her dad to braid her 'hair,' and every time she came through the dining room, she had a new hairstyle." She turns 4 today, but that kid gets Hollywood. [Page Six]
• Is Elizabeth Hurley inspiration for a bitchy character in Ann Leary's new book? Ann is Denis Leary's wife, and Outtakes From A Marriage features a movie star who has a perfect bod and "only dates billionaires." [Rush & Molloy]
• Madonna's brother says that her husband, Guy Ritchie, is uncomfortable around "queens." A source confirms: "Guy is a homophobe. At their wedding, Chris made a joke about Guy being gay. That set the tone for their relationship." Seriously? Would Madge put up with that? [Rush & Molloy]
• Some dude is trying to sue Jay-Z for $88 million because Jay allegedly "stole" the technique of "whisper rapping" from him. 99 problems and a troll ain't one. [People]
• Taylor Hicks is a Jonas Brothers fan. [People]
• Nancy O'Dell's mom died. [People]
• Jennifer Lopez met with Barack Obama's staff. WTF. I may weep. [People]
• Zac Efron stinks. Literally. [Star]

[Paris, February 12. Image via Splash.]

• Pamela Anderson is pregnant. And getting divorced. And asking for spousal support. But not child support. It's OK, take a minute. We'll wait. [TMZ]
  
• Fill in the blanks! Adrian Grenier to NYC girl: "How about we go home and I [blank] the [blank] out of you?" [Page Six]
  
• Amy Winehouse just doesn't believe in rehab. "I'm of the school of thought where, if you can't sort something out for yourself, then no one can help you." Not a good sign. [Gatecrasher]
  
• Jamie Lynn Spears: Lousy tipper. [Page Six]
  
• "I'd go to work [on my talk show], and women would be crying in my arms. But then I'd go home and put my key in my door and ... nothing. No friends, no husband, no children. I feel so full when I'm at work but so empty when I come home." — Tyra Banks. [Rush & Molloy]

• Blind item! "Which small-screen starlet has a penchant for leather and lace whenever she hooks up with a new guy - despite the fact she's supposed to be dating a co-star?" [Gatecrasher]
• Kate Holmes on Nicole Kidman's pregnancy: "I'm so happy for her. It's wonderful." She didn't say, "How did she stay married to this short religious freak for so long?" but don't you wish she had? [People]
• Britney Spears and paparazzo Adnan Ghalib are on the move! They left L.A. yesterday and landed outside of New York City last night. Keep your eyes peeled, New York ladies! [TMZ]
• Vince Vaughn says he has "such a great friendship" with Jennifer Aniston. "I still talk to her constantly. I have a real, genuine connection with Jen." Huh, kinda sounds like "I love you but I'm not in love with you." [People]
• John "The Player" Mayer and Minka Kelly: Dunzo! But they're still friends. Kinda sounds like "You're hot but I can't be tied down right now." [People]
• Cedars-Sinai, the hospital that mixed up medications, sending Dennis Quaid's newborn twins into intensive care, has been issued a 20-page deficiency report of violations. Cedars is also the hospital where Britney Spears was supposed to stay for 72 hours but released after 36. Just sayin'. [E!]
• Is Avril Lavigne pregnant? [ONTD]
• Kelly Tilghman, the Golf Channel anchor who said young players should find Tiger Woods and "lynch him in a back alley" has been suspended from the network for two weeks. She has apologized to Woods, her "long-time friend." [Newsday]
• Holy crap is there leaked footage of shaved-head Britney performing "sex acts" on two women and a man? Um, email if you see anything. [The Sun]