Remember how Sharon and Ozzy Osbourne broke up amid rumors that Ozzy is actually a gargoyle from the semi-popular children’s cartoon Gargoyles? No doubt you were devastated, but there’s good news — the Osbournes are not breaking up, and they have the awkward public appearance to prove it!

On The Talk today, Sharon Osbourne said that she never understood the extent of husband Ozzy's substance abuse, and she's currently "devastated."

Reese Witherspoon totally regrets that she Tracy Flicked out on the cop who pulled her and husband Jim Toth over around midnight on Friday, booking Toth for a DUI and Witherspoon for disorderly conduct (Reese yelled "Do you know my name?" at the cop and claimed that he was not a real police officer). Above, find her…

Although Adele and her people have been meeting with Harper Collins to discuss a possible book deal (with a seven-figure offer), it won't be a memoir because, at 24, she thinks she's too young.

After December's shooting at Sandy Hook Elementary, Ann Curry began a Twitter-driven campaign she called "#20Acts,"encouraging fans to perform 20 acts of kindness (one for each child killed in Newtown). Now, Curry is reviving the campaign and dubbing it "#26Acts2"—one act of kindness in honor of each mile of the tragically …

IT'S ALL HAPPENING. Beyoncé launched her Mrs. Carter World Tour in Belgrade, Serbia, wearing what can best be described as an R. Crumb illustration of an outfit.

According to a report first squawked by one of the The Sun’s many gossip crows, Sharon and Ozzy Osbourne’s 30-year marriage is splintering apart faster than Ozzy’s pulverized kneecaps. Getting old, it seems, doesn’t get any easier if you somehow become famous.

A wise woman (Janeane Garofalo) once said: "My friend, he had a baby and he said, ‘I get it now. It's the greatest thing that's happened to me and now I realize it's not all about me.' You didn't know that?! You're 42 and you didn't know that it's not all about you?" And in that vein I'd like to direct an eye-roll in the …

• Kim Kardashian, who is not an actress, and has admitted that her true talent is "marketing," attended the Screen Actors Guild awards, where she informed a reporter on the red carpet that she would like to be an actress.

• Miley Cyrus's bong hit video was not a commercial. But. Because people are stupid, sales of salvia have increased since Friday, with customers specifically asking for "the stuff Miley was smoking."