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Cosmo Takes The Fun Out Of Cuddling

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stealthird
11/19/08

In reply to Cosmo Takes The Fun Out Of Cuddling
You know when you should analyze his cuddling behaviour? When he pushes you away and says, "No cuddling...that's so Freudian."
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Pizza!Pizza!Pizza!
11/19/08

In reply to Cosmo Takes The Fun Out Of Cuddling
Between this and orgasm face, it's a wonder Cosmo isn't written by Howard Hughes from inside a sealed white cube.
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Aesop's Foibles. YES.
11/19/08

In reply to Cosmo Takes The Fun Out Of Cuddling
Fuckin' Cosmo. "What your menses aren't telling you" or "Fast fixes for your misshapen/abnormal/hideous [insert (heh) body part here]" or "How do I deal with this awful vagina of mine?"
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AtomiClash: humanitarian misanthrope
11/19/08

@terribletwenties: You put it into a box with your self-awareness, independence, and esteem, shove it under the bed, and dress to GET THAT MAN who will ultimately save you from yourself. Duh.
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CapHillEscapee
11/19/08

In reply to Cosmo Takes The Fun Out Of Cuddling
1) Cosmo Guys are never attractive to me. Too groomed and powdered and waxed and underage looking. They also usually look like they're into men.

2) I read the article and i wasnt THAT offended. It was maknig grand assumptions based on casual body language (although the analysis of the bf was accurate). But then it linked to "5 gf tests!" and those were ALL tragic. NOTE TO LADIES: Let you man do whatever he wants, always cater to him, never call him out on anything and dont complain about anything. ever. Bc then you'll be needy or a Diva. :EXASPERATED SOUND:
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VigilanteKitteh
11/19/08

@CapHillEscapee: You forgot Cosmo's main point to being a great girlfriend...BJ's!! On demand! Whenever he wants it!
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Jack_Burton
11/19/08

@VigilanteKitteh: Really?

Note to self: Get girlfriend Cosmo subscription.

Note to self: Get girlfriend first.

Note to self: Get a new hobby other than writing notes to self.
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SuperRounder
11/19/08

In reply to Cosmo Takes The Fun Out Of Cuddling
I like spooning because I'm an ASS MAN. Period.
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Diziet_Sma
11/19/08

@SuperRounder: Shhhhhh! You're proving Cosmo right, ffs.
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labeled
11/19/08

@SuperRounder: Yeah, that's actually a good point... spooning can be dangerous if you're not necessarily in the mood. I think it took my husband and I about a year to get the rules down.
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Diziet_Sma
11/19/08

In reply to Cosmo Takes The Fun Out Of Cuddling
I really don't think the readers take these features seriously. It's just an excuse to look at pictures of cute male moddles cuddling puppies. I mean, I get that it's just more bullshit in a sea of bullshit. . . but anyone with half a brain can surely decipher that. And there's no hope for the brainless, anyway, so why worry about them?
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JerseyGrrrl
11/19/08

In reply to Cosmo Takes The Fun Out Of Cuddling
Also, I know we've been over this, but my biggest peeve is how much of Cosmo is devoted to men and figuring out their thoughts, needs and desires. How about more info about my body, needs, rights and wants? I loathe the implication that a man should be my major focus in life. It's enough to turn me from dabbler into full-time sapphic.
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tscheese
11/19/08

@JerseyGrrrl: My comment a few back about how men fall asleep spooning me and then turn into 8000 pounds of dead weight and then snore at the back of my head?

No woman has ever done that to me! Ever!

Maybe I SHOULD turn into a full-time lezebel.
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lizzzz
11/19/08

@JerseyGrrrl: Well I don't have the time to have any thoughts of my own, since I'm too busy trying to figure out all these complicated *signals* he's always trying to send! If only Cosmo would come out with more articles!
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morninggloria
11/19/08

In reply to Cosmo Takes The Fun Out Of Cuddling
The ultimate man, according to Cosmo, is one who prefers taint-to-taint cuddling.
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tscheese
11/19/08

In reply to Cosmo Takes The Fun Out Of Cuddling
What does it mean if he falls asleep spooning you and his arm which was sweet and comforting and warm suddenly turns into an EIGHT TON DEAD WEIGHT and you can't extricate yourself and he starts snoring at the back of your head and at the top of his lungs?

What does it mean that I can't seem to find a guy who doesn't do this?
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labeled
11/19/08

@tscheese: Right? So there's NO WAY to avoid breathing his "used air." Even when your back is to him.
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Grim Reaper of the Forest
11/19/08

@labeled: Aaaaahhhh!! I hate breathing used air. My husband insists on sleeping facing me, so it is either farting on him, as explained above, or breathing his used air.

Thankfully, we are getting a king sized bed delivered this weekend.
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JerseyGrrrl
11/19/08

@treecut just Baracked the Vote!: Ugh. I hate this. I am rapidly getting close to putting myself in a different bedroom. I fantasize about that frequently. What does that say about my relationship, Cosmo? I just don't think there's anything romatic about snuggling in sleep. I like my space. Except for the cat. She can stay.
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Grim Reaper of the Forest
11/19/08

@JerseyGrrrl: I made all my previous boyfriends sleep on the floor, but I acquiesced in the bed sharing as a symbol of my commitment to marriage or something. This is another reason I resent not being super rich. I want to have my own quarters. Then I could invite my husband to my wing for bi-weekly snuggle time.
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labeled
11/19/08

@treecut just Baracked the Vote!: It's a minefield in there, for real.
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SomeAuthorGirl
11/19/08

In reply to Cosmo Takes The Fun Out Of Cuddling
Tracie advised me yesterday that my dude was chivalrous and thoughtful as long as he handed me the post-coital tissue first. So Cosmo can just go hang - I have realistic expectations and no need to analyze further. O, Age, how I love thee.
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hortense
11/19/08

In reply to Cosmo Takes The Fun Out Of Cuddling
What does it mean when they have that dream where they think they are falling, so they accidentally kick you in your sleep?
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Mkp-hearts-NYC
11/19/08

@hortense: What does it mean when they dream they're kicking you and then fall out of bed? So Many Nuances!
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Grim Reaper of the Forest
11/19/08

In reply to Cosmo Takes The Fun Out Of Cuddling
I am not a big spooner in bed, but mostly because I am afraid I am going to fart repeatedly as I drift off to sleep. The problem would be solved if I could always be the big spoon, but I think that threatens my husband's masculinity.
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SarahMC
11/19/08

@treecut just Baracked the Vote!: This month in our online edition: What Your Man's Farts Can Tell You About His Lunch.
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sarah.of.a.lesser.god (aka Mrs. BrutallyHonestHobbit)
11/19/08

@treecut just Baracked the Vote!: Ha! "Honey, do you feel that breeze?"
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Grim Reaper of the Forest
11/19/08

@SarahMC: Does he like beans: clearly he is a miser. Does he like cheese: a sentimental romantic. Does he like broccoli: a new age vegan who will let you explore your spirituality and strength.
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tscheese
11/19/08

@treecut just Baracked the Vote!: From long and difficult experience, I can tell you quite authoritatively that men who like cheese are not all sentimental romantics.
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Hana Maru
11/19/08

@SarahMC: Oh sweet Jesus, that's funny....and possibly true? I reallyreally hope so.
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Hana Maru
11/19/08

@treecut just Baracked the Vote!: I have a major serial-farting-while-drifting-off-to-sleep problem. He always falls asleep first, but sometimes if we're spooning I think I'm going to wake him up by blasting him off the bed.
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Aesop's Foibles. YES.
11/19/08

@treecut just Baracked the Vote!: Oh my God I cannot believe you said that!! I was just talking yesterday w/my friend about how lately, it seems like evry night I'm a rootin' and a-tootin' when I'm half-asleep! I know he hears it and there's nothing I can do!! Friend suggested hiding some beano in the house and taking it before bed....Oh man. Gotta love the body betrayal. Esp. when he decides he wants to spoon and I catch myself simultaneously dozing and farting in his lap. SECKSY!!!!
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BrutallyHonestBabes (aka Mrs. Sarah.of.a.Lesser.Hobbit)
11/19/08

In reply to Cosmo Takes The Fun Out Of Cuddling
What does it mean when I ask for a hug and he honks my boob? I thought it meant he likes to honk my boob. It probably means he's a secret stamp-collecting serial killer. Tell me Cosmo!
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Ascendo_tuum
11/19/08

@BrutallyHonestBabes: One of my exes used to pretend he was playing with radio knobs and make hilarious noises.
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sarah.of.a.lesser.god (aka Mrs. BrutallyHonestHobbit)
11/19/08

In reply to Cosmo Takes The Fun Out Of Cuddling
I should feel flattered by fiance.of.a.lesser.god's cuddling when he's at my place, but then I remember I have a goddamned single bed.
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gold_gato
11/19/08

@sarah.of.a.lesser.god.prepares.to.welcome.her.new.ovumlord: haha! When I'm serious about sleep, I want my space. Even if that space is just a twin sized space.
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Mkp-hearts-NYC
11/19/08

@sarah.of.a.lesser.god.prepares.to.welcome.her.new.ovumlord: yipes! What are you going to do when baby makes three? Start stacking like Jenga bricks?
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sarah.of.a.lesser.god (aka Mrs. BrutallyHonestHobbit)
11/19/08

@Mkp-hearts-nyc: Hee! Real estate broker, I haz one. Jenga would be an awesome name for a girl, BTW. A boy could be called Uno.
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Mkp-hearts-NYC
11/19/08

@sarah.of.a.lesser.god.prepares.to.welcome.her.new.ovumlord: Ha! Especially if your third was Yahtzee.
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RainbowBrite
11/19/08

In reply to Cosmo Takes The Fun Out Of Cuddling
UM I KNOW THAT MODEL. I went to HS with him - I knew he was doing some modeling but, um, I hadn't seen this one.

Super nice guy and very smart, too..
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