<![CDATA[Jezebel: over the hills]]> http://cache.gawker.com/assets/base/img/thumbs140x140/jezebel.com.png <![CDATA[Jezebel: over the hills]]> http://jezebel.com/tag/over the hills http://jezebel.com/tag/over the hills <![CDATA[ <em>The Hills</em> Kelly Cutrone: "In Christianity, Mary Gets Pregnant On Her Own, She Doesn’t Even Get <em>F*cked</em>.” ]]> In this morning's rag trade, we mentioned (briefly) the awesomeness that is this profile of Kelly Cutrone, the self-proclaimed PR "power bitch" and boss of Whitney on The Hills, but we felt we would be remiss in not discussing it further. Before we get to the choice quotes that Cutrone, the owner of People's Revolution, proffers after the jump, I just wanted to point out that Kelly herself gets up in the Observer's comment section to quash the haters who accuse her of lying about her age. In response to a commenter who says, "Hasn't Kelly Cutrone been 42 for about 10 years now?" Kelly goes gangsta: "You have left us no choice we are scanning a copy of my driver's license now — maybe it is your lives that are moving too slow." More quality Cutrone quotes, coming right up!

Kelly has a mouth on her, especially when talking about what it's like to be a successful woman. “I think that people hate women. And I don’t think they like powerful women, and I think it really goes back to Salem, I really do. I think it really goes back to this concept of, you know, hysterical coming from uterus… I think that people really have to look back to Egypt, and this concept of women being in power is not a new thought. With the advent of religion, you saw the demise of the female in the godhead. In Christianity, Mary gets pregnant on her own, she doesn’t even get fucked.”

As raunchy and fantastic as that vagina monologue was, Kelly's secret plans for The Hills are really the best part about her interaction with Observer all-star Meredith Bryan. Cutrone is friends with Paul Morrissey, a former denizen of Warhol's factory. She also lives with an up-and-coming male model named Demian, though their relationship is strictly platonic. So Cutrone's brain came up with this little gem of an idea: “I was like, ‘Paul, if I get Whitney to marry Demian, will you come and direct an episode of The Hills?’ That would be the ultimate Warhol thing, right? To get fucking Paul to do an episode of The Hills would be amaaaaazing!” My brain just exploded from all the meta.

The Dark Angel Of The Hills [Observer]

Earlier: Fashion PR Lady Kelly Cutrone Is So Boss

]]> Thu, 19 Jun 2008 14:30:00 EDT Jessica http://jezebel.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=5018003&view=rss&microfeed=true <![CDATA[ Nothing Really Happened On <i>The Hills</i> Season Finale ]]> Last night's season finale of The Hills only served to further prove that the best part about the show are the teasers for upcoming episodes. Aside from all the scripted drama between Heidi and Spencer, nothing really happened on the big season finale. The rest was just par for the course, like Lauren's crocodile tears, and Whitney's weird pronunciation of words ending in "ing." Oh, but Lo did mention something about cheese being bad for her behind, and I could totally relate to that. But still, who isn't psyched for season four, after seeing that preview? Clip above, and after the jump, the rapid aging of the dog with two mommies.

That dog sure got big since last week:

hillsdog.jpg

]]> Tue, 13 May 2008 11:00:00 EDT Slut Machine http://jezebel.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=389912&view=rss&microfeed=true <![CDATA[ Spencer Pratt Is <i>Really That Evil</i>, And Other Sad Truths About <i>The Hills</i> From A Guy Who Went Out With L.C. ]]> Dodai has this whole theory that The Hills is totally like professional wrestling, neither of which I watch but then I googled "WWE" + "fake" and I totally began to understand what she meant! Like, everyone know that it's all totally fake, and yet, like The Hills, its fakeness has totally become its own industry, gazillions thousands of "Is wrestling really fake?" websites, all 108,972 of which can be succinctly summarized: AFFIRMATIVE! So yes, The Hills is fake, and yet we somehow cannot get enough of the stories about how fake it is, which is to say I for some reason salivated over every word of this interview with a model named Gavin who went on a date with L.C. on last week's episode and I really don't even give a shit. And here's the big takeaway: the fakeness is so comprehensive, and the cast members are so young and devoid of meaningful identities to suppress, that the fakeness is actually disguised realness. Which is to say the date with L.C. didn't go that well.

She's kind of a conversation killer, and when the cameras are rolling, all conversation is kept firmly on the surface. She talked about how mean Perez Hilton was, and how you have to be nice to the Paparazzi so they don't release the uglier pictures of you. I don't know - pop culture, Red Bull, stuff like that. In fact, the most interesting thing I got out of her was that she isn't allowed to eat ice cream because her trainer told her she can't... What you see is really what you get with these people. Lots of fascinating discussion about "the club", Vegas, getting drunk, Heidi is evil, and so on. The lack of depth was actually uncomfortable for me. Like, how can nothing be everything you talk about? OH, I forgot - lots of talk about Lauren's clothing line. That's pretty important, right?
Heavy sigh. But look, the interview ends on a bright note! Everyone's a cartoonified version of him/herself — "except for Spencer, I hear he's really like that."

Reality Victims Unit [Bestweekever]

]]> Thu, 25 Oct 2007 19:00:03 EDT Moe http://jezebel.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=315307&view=rss&microfeed=true