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Feminist Reviewer Says Lesbian Vampire Killers Sucks
Lesbian Vampire Killers: This Year's Snakes On A Plane?

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beccamb
03/24/09

In reply to Feminist Reviewer Says Lesbian Vampire Killers Sucks
the lesbian curse is only lifted when the lesbian is penetrated by the cock sword

In parts of Africa lesbians are raped to "cure" them.
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dragonian_angel
03/24/09

@beccamb: As horrible as that practice is (makes me flamingly angry), you can't really compare that to this movie. This isn't condoning that practice, and honestly I doubt the creators even know about it. That's a cultural practice that is, frankly, disgusting. This is a stupid movie made by a bunch of guys.
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Hana Maru
03/24/09

@dragonian_angel: The creators don't have to be aware of the practice. They both come from the same line of thinking--that the threat to men posed by lesbian sexuality can be brutally vanquished with force by men. It is all part of rape culture, wherein women's bodies are treated as the rightful property of men and women's autonomy is dangerous. It's not mitigated if anyone's too stupid to see that they're buying into it.
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beastybeatsy
03/24/09

In reply to Feminist Reviewer Says Lesbian Vampire Killers Sucks
I saw it yesterday and thought it was hilarious. I hereby hand in my feminist card.
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emilyanne
03/24/09

@beastybeatsy: no no no, you should be handing in your taste card (sorry, you shouldn't really - I just have yet to find one person who found it funny until now).
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beastybeatsy
03/24/09

@emilyanne: Yeah. And to be fair the cinema was half empty. And it isn't as good as (for example) Shaun of the Dead, but I think it's been handed a lot of vitriol which it didn't really deserve. It's a crappy movie but it made me laugh. And I wasn't insulted to be a feminist (or a woman even) in that cinema.
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emilyanne
03/24/09

@beastybeatsy: ha fair enough, i have to say that I've been too scarred by my brief time as a film reviewer to go and see a movie with reviews that bad. I was suprised as I think Gavin and Stacey is both funny and quite sensitively done.

Then again Horne's Law says that for everything good Matthew Horne does he will also appear in something as shit as Roman's Empire.
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Nuckin Futz for you
03/24/09

In reply to Feminist Reviewer Says Lesbian Vampire Killers Sucks
Why am I not suprised a bunch of guys thought out a plot where there are a bunch of hot lesbian girls but give them the right cock and its all over.
You know what guys, those of you that think this movie is correct, please use this as your first date movie. This way my female friends and I can quickly eliminate you from the dating pool...better yet can you pair it with the blow up doll jacket? This way there is no further misunderstanding.
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dragonian_angel
03/24/09

In reply to Feminist Reviewer Says Lesbian Vampire Killers Sucks
As much as I understand the outrage, if you do some research into the other work these people have done (like Gavin and Stacey) they're clearly not misogynists. This movie is a joke, it's not even satire, it's just meant to be utterly insane and ridiculous. Obviously a feminist or lesbian reviewer is going to hate it. Clearly I'm in a minority here, but I still think this looks funny.
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emilyanne
03/24/09

@dragonian_angel: but no one whose seen it has found it funny, not even teenage boys - really, I've never seen such bad reviews, well not since sex lives of the potato men, yes that really was a film, no the british film industry isn't in trouble, not at all.
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undomesticgoddess doesn't sleep a wink
03/24/09

@emilyanne: Is it awful that I want to hear more about the sex lives of the potato men?
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emilyanne
03/24/09

@undomesticgoddess fears all!!!: yes, trust me you don't. Oh ok then, Sex Lives of the Potato Men stars 'comedian' Johnny Vegas, Office boy Mackenzie Crook and The League of Gentlemen's Mark Gattiss. They are delivery men who deliver potato chips round the country and have active if largely imaginary sex lives in northern England. Yes that's the plot. To help you understand it's sheer pointlessness The Times called it 'one of the two most nauseous films' ever made. I merely called it utter rubbish. I wish i'd been as sarky as the Times guy in retrospect.
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undomesticgoddess doesn't sleep a wink
03/24/09

@emilyanne: I feel so sorry that you had to watch that!
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Beat Girl
03/24/09

In reply to Feminist Reviewer Says Lesbian Vampire Killers Sucks
Any chance this is badly executed satire on B movies?

Hate to play devil's advocate and all, but I'm quite sure those who made this were aware of how incendiary the topic, but tried to play it in such a way that the lunacy of the vampire genre is pointed out too. It's likely incredibly cackhandedly done, but that's a point about comedic execution, not intent.
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fastasyoucan
03/24/09

@Beat Girl is screaming into the abyss: From the interviews I've heard with the two guys that star in it, it isn't badly executed satire. They actually think slaying lesbians with your big manly cock sword is hilarious.
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Beat Girl
03/24/09

@fastasyoucan: I'm familiar with the work of Horne and Corden, they're no Bill Hicks-style comedians in sharp wit, but they're not idiots.
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bowleserised
03/24/09

@Beat Girl is screaming into the abyss: Yes, but the British film industry has churned out quite a few unspeakably dire comedies in the last ten years.
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Beat Girl
03/24/09

@bowleserised: As has Hollywood. Bad films will always exist, but I don't feel my womanhood is insulted by each and every one.
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emilyanne
03/24/09

@bowleserised: sex lives of the potato men.

Sorry i can't stop mentioning it. I had to review it. The sheer horror is still imprinted on my retina all these years later. I occasionally wake at night screaming about it.
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fastasyoucan
03/24/09

@Beat Girl is screaming into the abyss: Mathew Horne said, in response to criticisms that the film was offensive to women '"It's so far less gratuitous, both sexually and violently, than you could ever imagine from the title. And [the vampires are] very strong women! So you can read it as a feminist text as well."' That sounds like massively missing the point, rather than intending to satirise B movies but executing your intention badly.
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SarahMC
03/24/09

@fastasyoucan: That's like when the Hawaiian Tropic Zone guy said the establishment was totally empowering to women.
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gherkinfiend
03/24/09

@dragonian_angel: Their new sketch show Horne and Corden seems to find homophobia and mocking gay men a replacement for humour and wit. It seems to be becoming a trend with them...
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bowleserised
03/24/09

@Beat Girl is screaming into the abyss: Jezebel covers the bad Hollywood films too - that feature about hookers, victims and doormats springs to mind.
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Mmmmkay (gellin' and Jezebelin)
03/24/09

In reply to Feminist Reviewer Says Lesbian Vampire Killers Sucks
I would like to make a film called "The Cocksword in the Stone" in which lesbian siren's lure men to have sex with vagina shaped rocks that lock on and imprison the man's penis forever. Take that, menz.
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morninggloria
03/24/09

@Mmmmkay: Love. You.
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femputer
03/24/09

In reply to Feminist Reviewer Says Lesbian Vampire Killers Sucks
wow, neat concept - just like "corrective rape"

/headdesk
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pseudonom is ON STRIKE.
03/24/09

In reply to Feminist Reviewer Says Lesbian Vampire Killers Sucks
"IF A WOMAN WON'T SLEEP WITH YOU", "CHOP OFF HER HEAD".

Classic.
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emilyanne
03/24/09

In reply to Feminist Reviewer Says Lesbian Vampire Killers Sucks
Lets be fair people it's not just feminists who hate this film, everyone hates it. It's opened to the worst UK reviews of recent times and the Sunday Times gave a whole page over to why or how it could kill Matthew Horne and James Corden's up and coming careers.
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braak: You are, as usual, completely correct.
03/24/09

@emilyanne: Hooray! I knew the UK was good for something.
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emilyanne
03/24/09

@braak: oooh - good you're here - I've lost your link to your book - can you pm it to me so I can buy it now that i actually have cash.
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Jack_Burton
03/24/09

@emilyanne: You said it. Even the horror underground is calling it mediocre and uninspired.

From the clips, I'm inclined to agree.

I'm guessing that they were shooting for a cross between Snakes on a Plane, Shaun of the Dead, and Rocky Horror Picture Show.

Fodder for amusement:

[www.lesbianvampirekillersmovie.co.uk]
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Plum-Pie
03/24/09

@emilyanne: @knitgrrrl: @dragonian_angel: I recently read someone referring to their sketch show as a 21st century Hale and Pace.(I loved G&S so!)
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dirtybee
03/24/09

In reply to Feminist Reviewer Says Lesbian Vampire Killers Sucks
Oh hell, if I see one MORON dressed up as a cocksword for Halloween this year, I will do all you ladies a favor and castrate it for you.
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Shamrockette
03/24/09

@dirtybee - sláinte!: Plz to take pictures?
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haguenite
03/24/09

@Dottie Gale: I was just thinking that if they played Lesbian Vampire Baseball, I'd just might watch it.
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Nuckin Futz for you
03/24/09

@Shamrockette: Maybe they dont sparkle until the menns set them straight...literally.

/head keyboard
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haguenite
03/24/09

@haguenite: Why do my comments always end up in the wrong threads?! *wails*
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Nuckin Futz for you
03/24/09

@haguenite: Aww me too, mine above was supposed to go under Shamrockettes sparkle post!
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haguenite
03/24/09

@Nuckin Futz for you has a happy: SAME!
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picardia
03/24/09

In reply to Feminist Reviewer Says Lesbian Vampire Killers Sucks
@eldritch -- Yeah, it's so STUPID to expect everyone and everything in the world to reflect the fact that women are human beings. So OUTRAGEOUS to hope that women aren't simply fodder for men in movies to murder/fuck/fuck then murder. So OVER THE TOP.

Seriously, it's people like you I will never, ever understand.
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femputer
03/25/09

@picardia: that leaves two of us beyond baffled. Good on you.
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Shamrockette
03/24/09

In reply to Feminist Reviewer Says Lesbian Vampire Killers Sucks
Umm, if you have a sequel, please let the lesbian vampires come back to life and kill the men with the cocksword, please?

Or maybe not.
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Dottie Gale
03/24/09

In reply to Feminist Reviewer Says Lesbian Vampire Killers Sucks
But, but--do the lesbian vampires sparkle?
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Shamrockette
03/24/09

@Dottie Gale: Only the gay male vampires. Teh wimminz aren't special enough for glitter.
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Aesop's Foibles. YES.
03/24/09

In reply to Feminist Reviewer Says Lesbian Vampire Killers Sucks
Pleh. Call me later when something more important happens, I'm busy stroking some guys' cock sword.
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bowleserised
03/24/09

In reply to Feminist Reviewer Says Lesbian Vampire Killers Sucks
From the Telegraph review:

"Next time," quips Corden - the scariest two words in the movie - "he'll have me bummed by a big gay werewolf".

You should be so lucky, dear.
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emilyanne
03/24/09

@bowleserised: ha quite. I am a slight loss as to how you go from Gavin and Stacey to this pile of unmitigated rubbish however.
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