Jezebel: ornaments

Ho Ho Ho

Sadie — Tue, 10 Nov 2009 18:40:00 EST

A bunch of previously-banned Christmas "pornaments" "featuring reindeer and snowmen in sexual positions" are back. The pastor who got them banned from Jacksonville three years ago "said he is even more disgusted by the items now." [UPI]

9 More Weird Christmas Ornaments From Bronner's

Dodai — Mon, 10 Nov 2008 15:30:00 EST

Back in September, the Bronner's catalog arrived in mailboxes and we found nine really weird ornaments inside. It's not even Thanksgiving and we received yet another catalog from Bronners today, with more odd ornaments. Some of the "new" items in the catalog have a political bent, which makes sense, but some of the other offerings? Just strange. Frogs, fairies and fish, after the jump.

This item isn't technically new, but it's still worth mentioning. Nothing says "birth of Jesus Christ" like newlywed frogs, sitting in a giant engagement ring.

Aww, due to the recession, this may be the only helicopter some poor stockbroker families see this year. Sniff.

The pirate stuff is alright, but what is up with Tinker Bell's North Pole light house? Since when did that little pixie snatch up real estate in Santaland?

Here are your political ornaments: Get the donkey and the elephant for a bipartisan tree. There's someting a little "off" about the White House, but the weirdest one here has got to be the freaky-looking soldier. It's clear he's meant to honor the troops, but why is his mouth frozen in an "O" of shock and awe?

Okay, this one is just uncomfortable. Personalizing items for dead people? Really?

While we're on the subject of deceased… Fishing is a popular hobby, but something about hanging the image of a dead fish on the tree just stinks. People love to hunt, yet you don't see any deer carcasses being offered…

Although this moose does seem worried. Hopefully he won't end up in Wasilla.

Bronner's [Official Site]

Earlier: 9 Really Weird Christmas Ornaments From Bronner's

9 Really Weird Christmas Ornaments From Bronner's

Dodai — Tue, 16 Sep 2008 14:00:00 EDT

Even though Fall doesn't officially begin until next week, the Christmas catalogs have already begun to arrive. While I get that Christmas trees aren't necessarily "Christian" — they can be a fun way to celebrate the otherwise cold and dark winter season with light and color — there are some extremely odd ornaments for sale in the new catalog from Bronner's. Oh, I'm not talking about the usual wacky stuff: Snowmen, moose, birds, dolphins, vintage cars, Santa drinking wine, Betty Boop, frogs getting married, pirate ships, Hello Kitty, unicorns. I'm talking about seriously crazy items that will make even the most traditional among you say, well, Christ. What is this holiday really all about? Gadgets, pop icons, food products and mythic beasts, after the jump.
Whatever happened to teddy bears and toy trains? Cell phones are childs' play now.
Seriously, this is just weird. It's not like a digital camera is an aesthetically pleasing objét, like a Littman.
Just to be clear: The cinnamon roll and the Coke-toting Santa make sense, but the pizza? The peanut butter and jelly sandwich? Are those Christmas-y? The obvious "weird" winner here: The "deli sandwich."
Move over Jesus, there's another King on the tree!
Move over Elvis, there's another King on the tree! Tut, what a nut. And for the love of Horus, isn't there a conflict of interest in having a Pharaoh on a Christian symbol?
A Mayan temple. On the same page as a margarita. With all this mixing of religions, why not just throw in a Menorah????
Okay then.
"Mommy, did the dinosaurs come before or after Adam and Eve?" Okay, okay, I know that there are plenty of Christians who believe in T. Rex. I'm just wondering about the other ones. Anyway, what's Christmas without a sense of humor, right? Otherwise, this would not exist:
[Bronner's]